Jack Mackerel's so-called Deconstructive Parody of anime.
Sato Shimabukuro is an Ordinary High-School Student. So ordinary, it hurts - ordinary grades, ordinary friends, ordinary love life (or, rather, lack of one, much to his psyche's innermost bitterness), ordinary after-school clubs (such as practicing Tae Kwon Do and American Football [GO DEMONS!]), ordinary parents. So ordinary, he's the proverbial nail sticking out, waiting to be hammered down - and considering his school's a prime attractor for weirdoes, it's a miracle the otakus haven't started bullying him yet.
He comes home one day to find his orange-haired classmate in his house along with a huge knight in armor, and the former promptly attempts to drown Sato in his toilet. Sato only escapes because the knight collapses the second floor, and is nearly killed by a horde of more reasonably sized knights, which are then fended off by a mutant T-Rex with a shotgun, his grandfather (who died in World War II), his great-great-great-great-great-great-great-grandfather (who was a samurai), a Hungarian knight, an old, rusting, pre-historic mech possessed by the ghost of one of Sato's alternate selves, a Cthulhumanoid mage, and a Japanese Government Agent from the future.
[[quirkyWork Yes, seriously.]]
They explain to him that, as a result of an extremely ancient ancestor accidentally brushing against an old Sumerian medallion, he is given the location of a powerful artifact called the Ark of the Covenant - conveniently and obviously in Japan, since Japan seems to attract these sort of things like bees to honey - and tasked to destroy it before someone or something can get ahold of it, and wield the God-like power it contains.
A deconstruction, parody, and reconstruction of anime in general, featuring every cliche imaginable, from Magical Girls to Grimdark mecha to other ordinary high school students. And dating. Oh, and some Lebowski.
Tropes:
- Abnormal Ammo - Kazermat claims his shotgun's "buckshot" are made of the tears of dragons slain in agony. Hint: They aren't.
- BFG - Kazermat's shotgun.
- X-50's twin cannons.
- Awesome McCoolname - Rossz Csillag Alatt Született, the Hungarian knight. When pressed about it, he explains his mother was kind of weird.
- BFS - Rossz's claymores. He's strong enough to dual-wield both of them.
- Chainsaw Good - Rapier. She has two, and they're both huge. They can also attach to form a dual-sword-polearm-thing...
- Cthulhumanoid - Inglip.
- Deconstruction - Let's see:
- Sato, despite his martial arts training and sports knowledge, cannot do anything that his opponents or guardians do far better. He cannot talk his way out of getting murdered by a Reality Warper. He cannot run faster than the angry vampire. He cannot outshoot The Gunslinger. He is nearly killed several times, and badly wounded a lot.
- Fighting off the Monster of the Week and chasing the Ark gets a huge drop in school performance, social interaction, and irritation and disappointment from his parents.
- You cannot have a T-Rex, a tentacled abomination, several mechs, magical girls, and super-powered soldiers fighting in a densely-populated urban area without someone taking notice. The Japanese Government's investigation breaks The Masquerade, leading to all sorts of chaos and attempts to bank on magic.
- X-50, an old mecha, is large, cumbersome, and is extremely vulnerable to leg attacks, as a mech would be in real life.
- Remember, kids, nerds and otaku are shunned and hated on in real life!
- One of Sato's otaku opponents is creepy, perverted, and uses his Guardians as sex toys, initially. He gets better, starting with learning not to be a weird creepy fuck about his Guardians and properly maintaining a relationship.
- Sato's grandfather and samurai ancestor haven't caught up to the times well, modern Japan being highly confusing to them.
- His grandfather lacks good armor and a more modern weapon (his World War II Type 100 is unreliable and old, despite it being in perfect condition and magical). He finds some better stuff.
- His samurai ancestor's katana isn't fit for fighting Rapier's armor-chopping BFS, and his wooden armor isn't great, either.
- Kazama and Rapier aren't better off, either. Rapier is freakishly huge and powerful, but she tends to take up a ton of space, and her sword is impractically huge (it helps she's skilled at using it, though). Kazama also has to try and deal with her... interesting... customs.
- Anti-Magic as used by one of Sato's opponents affects everyone, including his Guardians.
- Arkady Smith represents the sort of author that puts their characters through Hell and claims to deconstruct, saying it's realistic, when there is zero realism involved - only over the top grimdark. Arkady abuses his own Guardians - who love him like a father - and claims it to be out of love, and has destroyed several universes to "teach them a lesson about how cruel and uncaring reality is", believing the people he condemned to horrifying deaths were "woken up" and released from the pain that is life. Also a huge mockery of Franz Kafka.
- Arkady's hatred towards things he considers "idealistic" are incredibly petty. Hey, it is petty if you kill entire worlds because your lover died.
- Hot Bloodedness versus military tactics (actually, a bunch of Shōnen heroes versus a Magitek SWAT team): tactics win.
- Serving as a witness to your arrested enemies is long, dull, and infuriating whenever your Guardians begin to pick fights and lengthen everyone's stay due to being held in contempt of court.
- Eagleland - Type One AND Two. Joseph, an American transfer student that Sato is eventually forced to work with, loathes Japan and its culture, but thinks Sato is tolerable since they both are comic book fans.
- Expy - Sato's uncle is based on Walter.
- Genie is a Touhou Project composite character. Kind of. Sorta. Maybe.
- Samantha is a cross between Konata and Haruhi Suzumiya.
- Kazama is based on Emiya Shirou. His Guardian is named Rapier. Do the math.
- The magical girl squad consists of:
- White and Black (Nanoha and Fate). Totally not a couple.
- 3-A. Blames Sato for her love being turned into an ermine, which Sato has no memory of.
- The Marine. Not an actual Marine, sadly.
- Castle and Becca are based on Garth Ennis and Revy, respectively.
- Kiriyama swears to Christ he's not a Kamen Rider. He's never even watched the series! Ask his CO about it!
- Fan Disservice - At one point, Sato is forced to wear Black and White's get up. Hint: panties, skirts, and frilly dresses do not fit boys of medium build well.
- The Federation - Kiriyama's agency, conveniently called, uh, "The Federation". Kiriyama explains that they were still thinking of a name when he got assigned to Sato's case.
- The Gunslinger - Castle and Becca, two psychopathic, nihilistic hitmen from a post-apocalyptic alternate Earth. They dual wield cut-down assault rifles and like to curse and get violent a lot.
- Image Song - Mocked. The "album" (which obviously will never be released) is full of Stylistic Suck. Sato can't carry a tune, let alone play a guitar.
- MacGuffin - The Ark, obviously.
- Ordinary High-School Student - Kang, Sato, and Sun-Moon, and their opponents. As above, despite Sato being trained in martial arts and sports, he's only average in them.
- Our Vampires Are Different - Kinda-sorta. The only thing Roma, an incredibly long-lived vampire, has going for him is immortality, as long as he isn't beheaded.
- Predestination Paradox - Kiriyama was sent back to engineer breaking The Masquerade earlier than in his timeline. Sato tries to ask him about it, but Kiriyama tells him not to bother. He wouldn't understand.
- Powered Armor - Kiriyama. Makes sense, since he's from the future.
- Reality Warper - Samantha.
- Shout-Out - Inglip worships a deity named Korrok.
- ARKADY SMITH. PREPARE TO MEET KORROK... IN HELL!
- Incidentally, Inglip's designed is based off a Bloodsucker.
- Kazermat is hideously scarred and mutated, with much of his musculature showing. It's based off a boss from Dino Crisis 3.
- Stereotypes of Chinese People - Kang, who Sato (surprise) has to work with.
- Timey-Wimey Ball - Kiriyama, a Japanese agent from the future, tells Sato to drop the subject whenever time travel comes up. With good reason - the changes he's made could (and should) have erased his timeline and agency, and they're all on purpose.
