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Creator / The Dude Who Licks Mustard

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TheDudeWhoLicksMustard: is a rather obscure Troll Fic writer. Mainly posting on trollpasta, he started out in 2015 by first re-writing well known creeypasta stories, but later began writing entirely original stories with absolutely insane plotlines. Apparently, the reason for the shift in his writing style was because of the flops of some of his re-written stories.

A list of his re-written creepypastas:


A list of his original works:

Tropes featured in his work:

  • Alternate History: Dennis And Song's Fight Against The Westboro Baptist Churc.excellon is esentially a retelling of Burning Torrent's story Burning Torrent Celebrates the Legalisation of Gay Marriage in The USA
    then we all piled into a giant rainbow colored tank with "TASTE THE RAINBOW MOTHERFUCKER!" written on it in super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow text.
  • Action Mom: Song's mother in Open Hexagain.lzma
    Just then, my mommy came into my room with an Artic Warfare Magnum loaded with 50 Calibur BMG phospherous sniper ammunition. When she spartan-kicked my door open she noscoped me, splattering hyper-realistic blood everywhere.
  • Action Girl: Xanthia is just this.
  • All Your Base Are Belong to Us: When Xanthia antagonizes Song, Song ends up indirectly summoning 999 super spooky smexy sexy hyper-realistic rainbow waifus from the sky, which destroy Yuri Of Wind's house with a massive gangbang.
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  • Band of Brothers: The entire reason why the protagonists stick together in Xanthia.lua.
  • Bluff the Imposter: Raiko in Xanthia.lua Act II turns out to have been Owner Guy in disguise the entire time.
  • Bold Explorer: Almost everyone in Xanthia.lua.
  • Bond One-Liner: From Dennis And Song's Quest For The CS:GO Skins (AKA The Worst Yaoi Ever Made)
    "Looks like you...lost your mind!" I said as I put on sunglasses
  • Bullet Catch: Xadiret in Xanthia.lua Episode 4
    Xadiret swallowed every bullet it fired which made no sense considering the ammunition the combine use.
  • Carnival of Killers: The Jeff The Killer rip-offs in Xanthia.lua Episode 4.
  • Colossus Climb: Song Vs. Kent Hovind in Xanthia.lua Act II.
  • Concert Climax: The protagonists fight Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid and Teenage Mutant Papa Dino Ham in Terry Cavanagh and Vittorio Romeo's wedding.
  • Commie Nazis: The Feminazis in Xanthia.lua's sequals.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: When Song is kidnapped by "Foxy Fanfucks" and forced to suffer the worst pornography ever in Xanthia.lua Book Three.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: Appears quite often.
    Then it fell down with lovie dovie look in it's eyes and said: "Xanthiailoveyouwillyoubmahwaifu" it said.
  • Downer Ending: At the end of the first installment of Xanthia.lua, everybody dies.
    • In Xanthia.lua Act II - The Night Shift Or Something Equally Pseudo-Scientific, Xanthia and Song get into a relationship that Xanthia later regrets before a skeleton pops out.
    • At the end of Xanthia.lua Book Three - 6 Crazy Nights At Freedy's That's Really Just Basically Filler, the protagonists kill the owner and loot the building they were working at and all the events that happened afterwards were retconned out of existance by the fourth installment.
    • In Open Hexagain.lzma, Song's pet bird, Fritz, becomes the victim of a Cliffhanger ending that signifies he has to survive one-more installment with Song.
    • In Yandere-chan Takes Upskirt Pics Of Yuri Of Wind So Richard Dawkins Has Fapping Material He Can Use To Jizz On mattiesensei666's Carpet Flavored Pie, Mattiesensei 666's day and relationship is ruined when the obvious happens.
  • Follow the Leader: All of his re-writes were attempts to one-up the author Makuta Xadiret 727.
  • Guns Akimbo: In Xanthia.lua Episode 4 - Fall Of The FNAF and JTK Fanbases In A Horrible Ending Note For An Equally or Infinitely More Cancerous Series, Snoop Dogg dual wields two smart guns and kills all of ISIS after going Super Saiyen.
  • In Case You Forgot Who Wrote It: In Open Hexagain.lzma the main character, Song, wishes to be referred to as The Dude Who Licks Mustard and even refers to himself (in third-person) as the author.
  • In Spite of a Nail: When Song buys Open Hexagon from eBay, he has to wait 154 years for it to arrive.
    I thought it was a glitch went into hypersleep because the author loves Alien a little too much.
  • Intercontinuity Crossover: Yandere-Chan and Max Rockatanzky are both on the night shift at Freedy Fuzbare's Pizza in the third Xanthia.lua installment. Open Hexagain.lzma is essentially one huge Intercontinuity Crossover, with characters from Trollpasta, Trollpasta authors, and several video game and movie characters appearing for no reason.
  • New Powers as the Plot Demands: Happens quite often.
    BT then discovered she had the power to morph reality, and madoka majicka'd in a ROF Lcopter and everyone's normal clothes. Then BT couldn't do jack shit.
    Struder stumped ovr 2 dem but Snoop used speshul powirs and rip off stroder breen.
  • Reading the Stage Directions Out Loud
    "Then, I stood up and killed Shao Kahnix." Said Jacob, reading the script.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: Appears throughout the Xanthia.lua series.
  • Shout-Out: References to movies the author likes are constantly made. Specifically, Alien, Pulp Fiction, and any Mad Max film. This also applies to games and youtubers, as in the early stages of Xanthia.lua, several weapons from Aliens Vs. Predator (2010) are used in addition to the main protagonists from the abformentioned game and Aliens: Colonial Marines appearing. Then there's the precense of Mutahar, Yuri Of Wind, BLACK Buster Critic, Mattiesensei 666, and the cast of Bad Creepypasta.
  • Troll Fic: Every story listed here.

Original Characters featured in his works:

  • Song
    • The author's self-insert.
  • Fritz
    • Song's parakeet that hates his owner, and even resorts to pecking out Song's eyes on a couple of occasions.
  • Xanthia Ravenwing
  • Owner Guy
    • The owner of Freedy Fuzbare's Pizza Place.
  • Carl Sagan
    • Not that Carl Sagan, this one is literally a God. No seriously. Song constantly refers to himself as a devout Saganist, and the third installment of Xanthia.lua literally contain's the religion's holybook, which predicts Max Rockatanzky being Song's Onii-Chan.
  • Melanie Dankness Dewmania Warface
    • Essentially Ebony Dark'ness Dementia Raven Way, except she's MLG instead of "goffik".
  • Raiko Izumiyama
    • A creepypasta character that The Dude Who Licks Mustard created and decided to use in his trollpastas. She was very subtly inspired by Jeff The Killer.
  • Some Ordinary Michael Buster Carl Dogg Burning Blue Funky Tyronthia 96 | Alphacorrupdorsip-Chan 666 With No Name Of Wind
    • Literally a fusion of all the protagonists in Xanthia.lua Episode 4, plus some extras.
  • Super Withered Toy Nightmare Shadow Golden Minecraft Kid
    • Super Minecraft Kid's final form.
  • Teenage Mutant Papa Dino Ham
    • A combination of Papa John, The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, Kent Hovind, and Ken Ham.

Example of: