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Creator / Perla Shumajer

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A boy that falls in love with his professor of potions and his professor of potions falls in love with him, they like, love and adore each other so much, they become a couple and marry into marriage and they are husbands.
— The title of one of her Harry Potter stories.

Pamela Muñoz Muñoz González Pardo Sarmiento (born 11 May 1988), better known for her true invented name Perla Shumajer, is a Colombian fan fiction writer that gained a lot of fame, particularly during the early 2000s due to the... rather questionable quality and themes of her fan fictions.

She's particularly known for her Harry Potter stories, although she has also written stories featuring Super Mario Bros., Fullmetal Alchemist and The Lord of the Rings characters. Her redundancies, overuse of the colon, writing several stories involving adults having a romance with minors, and/or gay couples (even though she claims to dislike homosexuals), ridiculously long descriptions of food and clothing are but some of her signature writing style traits that made her so well known among Spanish-speaking fan fiction readers, to the point she might as well be the Spanish-speaking equivalent of Tara Gillesbie.

Due to the fact she wrote the stories in the early 2000s and the fact the website she hosted her stories is long gone, it's difficult to find all her stories, let alone in one place. Spanish Fan Fiction user Edelweiss von Doom has the largest known compilation of Perla Shumajer stories with a combination of her own work and the help of other fans. For those that do not know much Spanish (or not at all), there are three stories that have been translated into English.


Perla Shumajer provides: examples of:

  • Adaptational Attractiveness: Snape and Voldemort are described to be more attractive than they are in the books or movies. The former is once described as being like "an adorable teddy bear" and the latter is said to have white hair like a real man.
  • Adaptational Jerkass: Luigi, who tells Mario to divorce Catalina Galvis after they have sons together and then take the children with him, which causes Catalina to commit suicide.
  • Adaptational Villainy: In all of Perla's stories, Snape is a genuine Death Eater that spies on Dumbledore to help Voldemort. That's exactly the opposite of what Snape does in the source material.
  • Anatomically Impossible Sex:
    • Somehow, Perla thinks that masturbation consists of putting the five fingers of one of your hands inside of the hole of the other person's penis.
    • While the fact one of the typical actions gay couples do in her stories is biting each other's penis is already enough to fit into this trope, it's brought up to eleven and even beyond when Voldemort does such a thing when he's explicitly described as having teeth as sharp as knives. How that did not end up in blood loss or amputation is anyone's guess.
    • Sometimes, especially when gay couples are involved, characters may put their hands in the other person's pants to search for their own penis.
  • Author Appeal:
    • When Perla states right before one of her stories that Severus Snape is her favourite character, it comes to the surprise of no one - considering he's one of the most common characters in her stories and he's often given many levels of Adaptational Attractiveness.
    • In terms of clothing and food, yellow trunks and pumpkin juice are extremely likely to appear in a description.
  • Colon Cancer: Virtually every list, description and even some quotes are always preceded by a colon, even if it would not be needed.
  • Creator Provincialism: Even before she published her autobiography, there were hints that Perla was Colombian. In one story (and a near-carbon-copy), Draco Malfoy is stated to be watching Canal 15 while then-Colombian president Álvaro Uribe was talking about politics and politics. The characters would almost always eat food that has little to do with the setting's cuisine, and that was also clearly influenced by Colombian gastronomy.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: One of the signature traits of her writing style, with sounding examples like "3 AM in the morning", "Nodded with the head", "Marry into marriage", "Falls in love with him, they like, love and adore each other so much", and "Hate, detest, disgust, anger, rage, terrible bad temper, mortal enemies and hate with all his heart", among others.
  • Going Commando: Since Perla describes each character's clothing up to the tiniest detail, whenever she forgets to mention underwear, one can assume this trope is in effect. It often happens with Snape wearing only black boots and his black robe, implying there's nothing in-between.
  • Gratuitous Rape: Despite the fact most of her stories feature consensual sex, one such exception exists: one where Snape buys several love potions to convince a teenaged Draco to have sex with him... only for Draco to find out and end up raping him instead. Snape only realizes at the very end.
  • Hypocrite: In her autobiography, she claims to dislike homosexuals. One would never guess it considering almost all her stories feature homosexual couples, and whenever they make love, it's almost always described with way more detail than when an heterosexual couple does the same thing.
  • IKEA Erotica: The most common way Perla describes sex scenes is a penis being touched, it becoming hard, and eventually the semes (sic) scattering.
  • Mister Seahorse: In one Fullmetal Alchemist story, Winry's pregancy is transmuted into Edward's, discovering in the process that she was not pregnant of twins, but of triplets, one of each gender.
  • Old Man Marrying a Child: In many of Perla's stories, Snape ends up marrying Harry or Draco while they are still teenagers.
  • Overly Long Name: In another douse of Creator Provincialism, in her Harry Potter stories, characters are given way several middle names and surnames, some of them that sound completely out of place for what are British people, although some of these added names do show she has read the source material. Thus, whenever Snape appears in a story, he's first introduced as "Severus Grigart Snape Prince or the Half-blood Prince, better known as: Severus Snape." (period included, causing sentences to be suddenly cut short by this name).
  • Parental Incest: A few of her Harry Potter stories feature two family members, a father and one of their children, having relations. One such story features this happening with multiple families at the same time.
  • Plant Person: Draco encounters a girl called Leandra Serrano in the greenhouse in one story. After a battle to the death, Leandra seemingly disappears... until it's revealed that she turned back into a seed.
  • Purple Prose: Perla would spend the majority of her stories describing the characters' full name (alongside their nickname), how they are dressed up to the tiniest detail, and all the food they ate that day.
  • Same Story, Different Names:
    • The most common case of Perla's Self-Plagiarism. For example, the Fullmetal Alchemist story where Roy Mustang turns himself into a baby and Edward and Envy have to take care of him is a near-verbatim copy of the Harry Potter where Snape is turned into a baby and Harry and Draco have to take care of him.
    • Sometimes she'd do this within the very same story. The story about Draco and Lucius Malfoy having a romance has nearly-identically structured extra chapters involving the Weasley, Crouch, and Granger families.
  • Skinny Dipping: In one story, Snape goes to the Hogwarts lake and swims naked. The strangeness of the moment is amplified when one remembers that the lake is right on top of the Slytherin facilities... meaning his own students are seeing him swimming naked.
  • Spoiler: Before one of her stories, Perla warns the reader that there will be spoilers of Harry Potter and the Philosopher's Stone. There are no spoilers whatsoever, and it's an otherwise regular story for her (as normal as a story of Snape making out with an 11-year-old Harry can be, at least).
  • Talking to Themself: Courtesy of a mistake on Perla's part, Frodo greets himself at one point:
    Sam said with happiness: Good day Frodo, how did you wake up. Frodo said: Good day Frodo, I woke up fine and you.
  • Toilet Seat Divorce: Couples break up in her stories for virtually no reason.
  • Trailers Always Spoil: Or in Perla's case, titles and summaries. She tries to build suspense when summarizing the story the readers are about to see, but she ends up spoiling nearly all the relevant parts of it.
  • Undying Loyalty: Snape is incredibly loyal to Voldemort, to the extent of being best friends and infiltrating Hogwarts to spy on Dumbledore... which is exactly opposite to the source material.
  • Wall of Text: The chapters in her stories are generally composed of a single, long paragraph, or two at best.
  • Writers Have No Sense of Scale:
    • In Perla's case, it's time. Her characters often take an absurdly long amount of time to do certain actions, or they do them at very strange times. Characters might take several minutes to think of a reply, take several hours to have lunch, speak non-stop for 5 hours, or go buy a new pair of glasses at 4 AM.
    • In her autobiography, she claims people weighing between 77 and 110 kilograms are obese.

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