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Creator / Gary Brecher

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Gary, Gary... You Need to Get Laid.

Gary Brecher, a.k.a. "The War Nerd"... loves war. He really does. If he could grab an M4 and a can of gasoline, and bring wrath to all you hypocritical bastards, then he would. He is the War Nerd, and never forget that fact.

Controversial, politically incorrect and surprisingly insightful, Brecher's column expounds on the nature of warfare today. Unfortunately, he hasn't released any new articles since 2009/early 2010, and the closing of the Exile — not to mention speculation that he has died — means he likely never will.

Rumors of The Exile's death have been greatly exaggerated.

So have Gary's.

Tropes found in Gary Brecher's articles:

  • Blood Knight: War seems to be the only thing he doesn't hate. One suspects he and The Major would get on well.
  • Born in the Wrong Century: His near-worship of figures like Alexander and those who fought in The American Civil War indicates this.
  • Fat Bastard: He's a rather piggish fellow, a fact he brings up whenever he gets the chance.
  • Humans Are Bastards: His general attitude towards humanity seems to be that everyone is just waiting for a chance to get away with committing atrocities.
  • Nuke 'em: Judging by a few of his articles, Gary desperately wants every country with nuclear weapons to flip out and start annihilating everything in sight.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Gary Brecher is actually a fictional character invented by eXile editor John Dolan, an author and former professor at the University of Columbia.
  • Martyrdom Culture: Clearly considers the Shia to be one.
    ''The Shi'ites' martyrs are a lot more recent. Their favorite disaster happened in 680 AD, at the battle of Karbala. Yup, THAT Karbala — the same city where we've been fighting Shi'ites for the last few months. Karbala means "anguish". That should tell you something about the way Shi'ites see the world, that they named one of their holiest cities after something we'd call "clinical depression". They're not smiley-face optimists. If a Shi'ite coached your kid's soccer team, he'd start every practice with a video of the team's biggest defeat: "Yet again we see Jason missing the goal! Truly we AM/PM Minimart Big Gulps are out of the playoffs forever and a day!"
  • Stealth Parody: Some internet commentators have suggested Brecher is actually a parody of right-wing warbloggers.
  • Stupidest Thing I've Ever Heard: He tends to abuse of this figure of speech.
    The War Nerd: There's this Australian wannabe war nerd who says the drones make us look weak, like we're supposed to go in there and hack it out with scimitars like real men. This is about the stupidest fucking thing I have ever heard, and considering I've been reading war news all through the Cheney years, that's saying something.
  • Token Good Teammate: Considers Palestine to be one for the greater Muslim world. This is actually (in Brecher's eyes, anyway) A Bad Thing, as due to the amount of press coverage they get in the West, they've skewed many people's perceptions of Islam away from the more imperialistic aspects of the religion and culture surrounding it, as well as draining Westerners' attention and empathy away from other oppressed peoples, most notably in Africa.
  • War for Fun and Profit: In one article, Gary says that this is what he'd do if he were as wealthy as Tom Clancy.

Alternative Title(s): The War Nerd