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Meet David Icke. He is a fucking loon.
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David Icke (last name pronounced the same as "Ike"note ) is a prolific British author who believes that international finance and governments are run by interdimensional lizards who subsist on human suffering. He started his career as a goalkeeper for Coventry, retired young due to injuries and arthritis, spent several years as a successful BBC sports presenter, briefly claimed to be Jesus, or something of that sort, and then returned to his senses and started writing on the conspiracy by Half Human Hybrids in our governments and banks to keep us all slaves of extradimensional lizards.

His published books include:

  • Heal the World: A Do-It-Yourself Guide to Personal and Planetary Transformation
  • Alice in Wonderland and the World Trade Center Disaster
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  • Tales from the Time Loop: The Most Comprehensive Expos of the Global Conspiracy Ever Written and All You Need to Know to Be Truly Free

Though David Icke is all but ignored by the mainstream, his theories have inspired many cult film and comic hits. The Invisibles retains much of Icke's cosmology and terminology, and The Matrix shows some clear influences from both (Icke published a book named Children of the Matrix after it came out to capitalize). Ultimate Marvel's version of the Skrulls, the Chitauri, are taken from Icke's theories. Though theories about Ancient Astronauts go back as far as 4000BC in the Rig Veda, Icke has revitalized the genre. References to his works are pervasive on conspiracy and UFO forums. MetaHistory.org raises it almost to the level of religion, weaving Ickian (Icky?) cosmology with ancient Christian Gnosticism. More recently, he has been on This Morning and London Live, landing both in deep shit with Ofcom since he spread misinformation about the COVID-19 pandemic that had resulted in arson attacks on communication infrastructure.

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He also has made numerous DVDs and hundreds of hours of radio programming. His personal website can be found here, but be ye warned - here there be dragons Reptilians.


His works include examples of:

  • Alien Abduction: According to Icke, abduction experiences are, at their basis, spiritual phenomena rather than physical. The extradimensionals require a physical counterpart in order to manipulate physical matter directly; thus grey aliens serve as dolls through which the Annunanki Reptilians can act in the physical universe. Primarily the Reptilians find it easier to interact with humans on the psychological or spiritual level, and full abductions are much rarer than induced hallucination.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: One of the more famous conspiracy theories in Real Life, notably for his views on reptilians.
  • Crossover Cosmology: What do Annunaki, faerie, prieta, djinn, succubi, and gray aliens all have in common? They're the same creatures as interpreted through the lens of a person's culture and time period.
  • Emotion Eater: The Reptilians (Annunaki, etc.) literally require human suffering to survive, and so engineer war and poverty to maintain their supply.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Even Alex Jones thinks the reptile thing is crazy, saying Icke is probably a con artist capitalizing on existing conspiracy theories with this unique "twist".
  • Genetic Memory: Bloodlines are very important to the ruling cabal as they are trying to keep their hybrid genetic structure intact. This is why royalty intermarries.
  • The Greys: As noted, these aliens are worked into his theories.
  • Human Sacrifice: On a truly massive scale; wars are rituals conducted to brainwash humans into dying for their Reptilian overlords.
  • One World Order: The Reptilians are trying to establish a totalitarian planetary government by Hegelian dialectic. Problem-reaction-solution techniques manipulate humanity with fear and by preying on their darkest instincts, causing them to engineer the chains of their own servitude.
  • Physical God: Averted. For all their astral power, the Reptilians require dolls like the alien Greys or hybrid human hosts in order to interact with the material plane. The theory is that they can only enter our dimension briefly, and during that time they appear as reptilians. They allegedly use the hybrid humans as more permanent links to the third dimension. The idea that they are able to interbreed with humanity comes from the theory that they manipulated our DNA to be compatible with theirs in ancient times.
  • Reptilian Conspiracy: He's one of the most notable proponents of the idea. He claims that the secret rulers of the world are Half-Human Hybrid children of the reptilian Archons or Anunnaki.
  • Space Jews: It's... complicated. Icke's critics have accused the Reptilians of being a code for Jews, especially given how he accuses them of maneuvering into positions of power in much the way anti-semites have long done. Many of Icke's followers believe this and are thus allied with some very unsavoury groups, many of which have reviewed Icke's works favourably, which has also landed Icke and his beliefs in hot water with civil rights groups.note  Icke himself has had to clarify that no, when he says "interdimensional lizards", he doesn't mean Jews, he means literal interdimensional lizards, and was reportedly genuinely baffled that anyone could think otherwise. Then again, Icke does believe that The Protocols of the Elders of Zion is a genuine document, but that when it refers to Jews, it really means space lizards, which doesn't help his case. On the other hand, he has claimed/implied about The Holocaust: that the Jews(/"interdimensional lizards"?) funded it; that maybe it didn't happen; that far-right groups are really fronts for Jews; and, that "alternative views" (read: Holocaust denial) should be taught in schools, as they are currently supressed while Schindler's List is distributed for free. He's also addressed some far-right groups in the past (but claims not to endorse them) along with endorsing the conspiracy claims about the Jewish Rothschild family (though, you guessed it, he claims they're just one of many reptilian-descended ruling families) plus an old theory that Hitler was part Jewish (in his case, a Rothschild too apparently), so he at least freely flirts with antisemitic stuff.

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