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Comic Book / The Bad Eggs

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Our two "heroes."

The Bad Eggs is a comic book published in 1996 by Valiant Classic and written by Bob Layton, with Don Perlin, Andrew Covalt, and Gonzalo Mayo providing the illustrations.

Billions of years ago, after the world was created, a lone vertebate creature evolved and managed to drag itself onto land. However, the creature didn't like what it saw, and promptly swam back into the ocean.

Millions of more years passed, and the animals on earth evolved into sentient, talking dinosaurs who now roam the lands. Two of these beasts, a pair of lewd raptor brothers named Ript and Claude, spend their time in the Cretaceous era trying to survive various epidemics while also getting involved in absurb hijinks. Said hijinks include trying to stop a war that began because of a drought, being visited by aliens, turning into a herbivore after a near-death experience, and determining whether or not a Brontosaurus has a small penis.

Yeah. It's that kind of comic.

The Bad Eggs provides examples of:

  • And the Adventure Continues: The series ends with Ript and Claude in a new time era where humans are present, and the brothers go about trying to make a new home in a new jungle.
  • Arc Villain: The Mad Dookie Bomber from That Dirty Yellow Mustard. It's actually Fabian Nicieza, who wants to eradicate Ript and Claude from existance before they become their own franchise for Acclaim Comics.
  • Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: Ript and Claude try to make a sea serpent vomit by talking about how it could've eaten putrid fish soaked in stagnant water, calf's liver rotting in the sun, and ice cream smothered in ketchup and onions. What's the food that gets the sea serpent to throw up? Spam.
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: The aliens who show up in Issue 7, which Claude points out.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: Claude shits in fear after Tee-Arr surprises him and tries to eat him and Ript.
    Ript: "Well, Claude...looks like yer over that 'dumpin' in public' thing!"
  • Catchphrase:
    • "Dribblin' pus buckets!"
    • "Bite me."
  • Colony Drop: Ript's Lucky Star is actually a giant asteroid.
  • Farts on Fire: When the aliens hold auditions for the dinosaurs in Issue 7, Smeggie's talent is to light one of his farts on fire.
  • Harmless Villain: Given the nature of the comic, none of the "villains" in the story, like Nigel and Tee-Arr, ever pose a threat to the main duo. Even the Mad Dookie Bomber's schemes consist of nothing but pelting the dinosaur brothers with feces.
  • Here We Go Again!: Said almost word for word by Ript and Claude at the end of Issue 6, when they find out that they have to gather more ingredients to stop all the rain flooding the area.
  • Killed Off for Real: Furman is the only named character confirmed to have died in the series. Of course, given how the series ends...
  • Made of Iron: The dinosaurs can take quite a beating without the injuries being fatal. Ript himself is stomped by a Brontosaurus and even has his stomach ripped open off-screen, which he patches up with a large vine.
  • Never Bareheaded: Ript is always seen wearing his blue baseball cap backwards, even after he was hatched.
  • Refuge in Audacity: Most definitely. A lot of the situations Ript and Claude get into are completely over-the-top, vulgar, or downright insane.
  • "Shaggy Dog" Story: Issue 6 is all about Ript and Claude gathering seemingly disgusting ingredients to make in rain in order to stop the war that began because of a drought. It rains so hard that flooding starts, and another war begins over the dinosaurs fighting for high ground.
  • Take That!: A lot of the humor in the comic has the main duo taking shots as celebrities and other forms of human entertainment.
  • Tempting Fate: The comic ends with Claude saying that the new jungle they're in has to be safer than their previous one. And then an Indian comes into frame armed with a bow and arrow.
  • Toilet Humour: Every issue has at least one joke involving some form of bodily waste or farts. Issue six in particular has subplot involving a tape worm inside Ript's bowels. And then there's the Mad Dookie Bomber...
  • Unexplained Recovery: Jumbo Johnson has his head crushed from a rockslide in Issue 3. In the very next issue, he's perfectly fine.
  • Vomit Discretion Shot: A sea serpent vomits off-panel in Issue 6 after Ript and Claude continuous talk about revolting foods the serpent could be eating.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: The first issue shows Panaam throwing up into a cup and offering the bile to Ript and Claude as a drink.
  • Wham Shot: The last page of Issue 4 reveals that Ript's Lucky Star is an asteroid heading for earth.
  • You Need a Breath Mint: When Ript tries to eat Furman the Proto-Human, he responds by telling him that his breath "is not exactly a field of lilacs."