The characters featured in Weird: The Al Yankovic Story are not to be confused with their Real Life counterparts.
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"Weird Al" Yankovic
Alfred Matthew Yankovic
Portrayed by Daniel Radcliffe (adult), Richard Aaron Anderson (child), David Bloom (teenager), Diedrich Bader (narrator), "Weird Al" Yankovic (adult singing voice)
An accordion player and parodist who becomes the most successful musician ever.
- The Comically Serious: His persona and mythos in the film's world thrive on this; at no point is it suggested that he's supposed to be funny, instead everyone in the Weird universe takes him completely seriously as a musician.
- Consistent Clothing Style: Keeping with the Real Life original style, Al always wears loud Hawaiian shirts. Even when he's in the jungle, he wears a camo-patterned Hawaiian shirt.
- Death by Adaptation: Suffice it to say, the real Al was not assasinated on live TV in 1985 upon the orders of the brutal cartel lord Madonna.
- Let's Get Dangerous!: Al is an accordion player. When Escobar has Madonna kidnapped, Al turns into a killing machine.
- One-Man Army: He cuts through goons and high-ranking cartel men alike to rescue Madonna from Escobar's clutches, showing skill with hand-to-hand combat, thrown projectiles, and guns.
- Polka Dork: Inverted. Al's talent at playing accordion makes him popular among his fellow high schoolers, as they have wild teen polka parties.
- Selective Obliviousness: Refuses to believe that Madonna's a bad influence on him, even when he's almost killed in a car wreck due to her encouragement of his drinking.
- "Well Done, Son" Guy: Despite his unparalleled musical success, the lack of approval from his father still hurts him deeply.
Madonna
Madonna Ciccone
Portrayed by Evan Rachel Wood
A popstar who becomes Al's girlfriend.
- Adaptational Villainy: Madonna is a pop singer known for her sexual nature. In the film, she has ulterior motives for her relationship with Al then becomes an international drug lord who has Al assassinated.
- Amusingly Awful Aim: When she and Al eventually break up, she's firing a pistol at him, but she doesn't hit anything anywhere near him and Al completely ignores the gunfire as he slowly walks away with a broken heart.
- Big Bad: She corrupts Al for her own personal gain, resulting in social isolation, an alcohol problem, a near-fatal car crash, and an onstage arrest. Lastly, she orders his assassination.
- Domestic Abuse: Of the emotional kind. Though Al was already estranged from his parents, she made him dependent on her by cutting his remaining close ties, namely his bandmates and Dr. Demento.
- Imperial Stormtrooper Marksmanship Academy: She tries to kill Al when he declines her offer to enter the drug trade together. At first Al rightfully flinches when she makes her first two shots. But after a while, Al is so unimpressed he casually walks away while she takes several more unsuccessful shots at him.
- Karma Houdini: After causing Al to alienate his friends, drive drunk, almost get killed, and get arrested while onstage, she sees more career success as the successor to Escobar's drug empire. The text after Al's assassination reveals she's still at large, though the zombie hand that grabs her at his grave might be the warranty's expiration...
- Oral Fixation: She's always chewing bubblegum.
- Opportunistic Bastard: She takes over Escobar's cartel after Al kills him and his thugs.
- The Queenpin: She abandons her music career to take over Escobar's cartel.
- Rugged Scar: She gets a gnarly cheek scar at some point after taking over Escobar's cartel, shown when she orders the hit on Al.
- The Vamp: She uses her sexuality to put Al under her spell with the ultimate intention of boosting her sales.
- Yoko Oh No: Madonna inflates Al's ego to massive proportions over the course of six hours, then initiates a rift between him and his band.
Dr. Demento
Dr. Demento
Portrayed by Rainn Wilson
A quirky mentor to big-name offbeat musicians.
- Butt-Monkey: Is subjected to this after Al comes back from Colombia and returns to music. He proposes adoption, thinking Al still lacks a father, and puts up a show of being happy for him while then visibly let down after finding out it's unnecessary. Later at the award show he clearly expects to be named when Al brings up thanking everyone that helped him in his journey, only for Al to gloss over it leaving him frustrated and confused.
- Eccentric Mentor: Perhaps necessary for a man who finds and develops odd musicians. He dresses in a dapper tuxedo and finds nothing strange with taking a bubble bath in Al's personal bathroom while eating LSD-laced guacamole.
- Like a Son to Me: He asks to adopt Al right before the awards ceremony, presenting him with a folder of prepared papers to sign.
- Never Bareheaded: Dr. Demento is never seen without his top hat, even in the bath.
Nick Yankovic
Nick Yankovic
Portrayed by Toby Huss
Al's disapproving father who works at The Factory.
- Fantasy-Forbidding Father: He hates weirdness and accordions, becoming violently angry when Al is taken by both.
- Freudian Excuse: As a child, Nick faced disapproval for his own weird song-parodying in his Amish community. After trying and failing to make it as an accordion player in the non-Amish world, his community excommunicated him for his sinful instrument. From this stemmed his hatred of accordions and weirdness.
- Like Father, Like Son: Nick used to make up new lyrics to songs when he was young, and his first love was an accordion that he spent all his savings on during his Rumspringa.
- Parents as People: Having faced devastation for following his dreams as a young man, he didn't want the same fate for his own son. Unfortunately, his way of going about this led to estrangement.
Mary Yankovic
Mary Yankovic
Portrayed by Julianne Nicholson
Al's mother who quietly permits his weirdness.
- Housewife: Seemingly so, as her husband works at The Factory to provide for the family.
- Open-Minded Parent: Though worried about Al's weirdness, she buys him the accordion he wants so long as it stays hidden from his father.
Al's Band
Jim West, Steve Jay, and John "Bermuda" Schwartz
Portrayed by Jack Lancaster (Jim), Spencer Treat Clark (Steve), and Tommy O'Brien (Bermuda)
Al's supportive roommates who become his backing band.
- Adaptational Early Appearance: In reality, Al first met Bermuda during the recording of "Another One Rides the Bus"; Steve joined the band during the assembling of the first album, and Jim didn't join the band until the second album. Here they're a quartet from the very beginning, being college roommates, assisting with the recording of Al's first song, and forming a band during Al's first gig.
- Suddenly Always Knew That: They had never mentioned their ability to play guitar/bass/drums prior to salvaging Al's biker bar gig by taking up backing instruments.
- True Companions: The roommates support Al's dreams from the moment he expresses an interest in writing parody lyrics, from clearing a recording space to joining him onstage at his first gig. He, in turn, considers an invite to Dr. Demento's pool party as extended to all four of them. Madonna purposely drives a wedge between Al and his band, though they make up.
Pablo Escobar
Pablo Escobar
Portrayed by Arturo Castro
A drug lord who's a big Weird Al fan.
- Affably Evil: Despite being a ruthless drug lord, he is nothing but polite to Al. He simply wants Al to play at his birthday party and even apologizes for having kidnapped Madonna.
- Ambiguously Gay: Escobar's mannerisms are perky and campy, in contrast with his being a drug kingpin.
- Boom, Headshot!: He takes a platinum record the forehead, thrown by Al with deadly precision.
- The Cartel: As in Real Life, Escobar commands an infamous drug cartel capable of kidnapping Madonna from a diner in the States.
- Historical Domain Character: Pablo Escobar, the "king of cocaine," was the founder and head of the Medellín Cartel and the wealthiest criminal in history. He died in 1993 during a shootout with Colombian special forces, whereas in the film Al kills him in the early 80s.
- I Have Your Wife: Kidnaps Madonna to get Al to his birthday party, threatening further in an attempt to coerce a performance.
- Loony Fan: Goes to the lengths of kidnapping Madonna because he wants Al to attend his birthday party.
Scotti Brothers
Tony and Ben Scotti
Portrayed by "Weird Al" Yankovic (Tony) and Will Forte (Ben)
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Tony seems to have some mild awareness that he is Al, expressed by discomfort when Ben's insults start cutting deep and when Al starts raging against Michael Jackson.
Wolfman Jack
Demento's Party Guests
Dr. Demento's Pool Party
Portrayed by Jorma Taccone (Pee-wee Herman), Demetri Martin (Tiny Tim), Paul F. Tompkins (Gallagher), Akiva Schaffer (Alice Cooper), Conan O'Brien (Andy Warhol), Emo Philips (Salvador Dalí), Nina West (Divine), David Dastmalchian (John Deacon)
- Cameo Cluster: As many of Al's celebrity friends as he could gather at the shooting location on short notice, all dressed up as extremely distinctive celebrities from the early 80s. A number of extras play other easily-identified faces.
