"Immortal" Tatsu Kuroda
Portrayed by: Hiroshi Tamaki
- The Ace: He was one of the strongest members of the Yakuza. Tatsu once single-handedly decimated a rival gang with a lead pipe, which earned him the nickname "Immortal Tatsu".
- Affectionate Nickname: Tatsu is affectionately called Tatchan/Tacchan (translated as Tatty by the main scanlators, and Tacchan by the official translation) by his wife Miku.
- Badass in a Nice Suit: Is usually seen wearing one with an apron over it.
- Badass Pacifist: After marrying Miku, Tatsu avoids conflicts as much as possible, although he can thrash someone if they cross the line. Tatsu himself invokes this, stating that he doesn't need to harm someone to protect Miku.
- Cloudcuckoolander: Tatsu's tendency to take every mundane task seriously qualifies him as this.
- Comically Serious: Most of the comedy is Tatsu doing everything while sporting his yakuza swagger.Tatsu: Hey! C'mon! Pull yourself together, PoliCure blue ranger!!
- Confusion Fu: When he runs into trouble nowadays, acting so much like his new househusband self catches his opponents so off-guard that they can barely touch him.
- Cool Shades: He sports these almost every single day to any place he goes. Even the gym.
- Creepy Good: Tatsu gave up his past as Yakuza but he still has the mannerisms and fashion sense of one, suggesting corporal punishment like yubitsume when he makes a mistake and burying a broken figure in the garden. He is also a bit too chatty about his past experiences.Yoga instructor: What does this pose remind you of?
Tatsu: It's the "after the boss smacks you around with the flat edge of the blade to teach you some manner" pose.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Tatsu himself states he grew up in one of the most violent parts of the world. A brief flashback indicates that Miku and Tatsu met each other for the first time when the latter had just finished a bloody fight. In later chapters, Tatsu is shown to be very paranoid, implying he is dealing with PTSD.
- The Dreaded: Tatsu's mere presence is enough to deter most Yakuza members. He made an intimidating first impression on Miku's father and the latter is still apprehensive around him.
- Face of a Thug: Tatsu looks scary enough that every attempt of his to appear friendly makes normal civilians' blood run cold.
- Graceful Loser: Tatsu tries hard to win in a Volleyball match but loses. He exchanges jerseys with the rival captain and the two teams pose for a group photo.
- Happily Married: To Miku, they love each other despite their different lifestyles.
- Hidden Depths: Tatsu played a lot of golf while escorting his boss, and still has the skills. Thing is, because of where he got his experience, he didn't learn how to win a game, but how to play to keep the boss happy.
- House Husband: Tatsu takes care of house duties while Miku works as a designer. Tatsu takes his role very, very seriously.
- Knife Nut: He is really good at handling the knife and can judge its quality. Tatsu's cooking skills are an extension of it.
- Made of Iron: Takes a two-by-four to the head, and responds by commenting how sturdy it is.
- One-Man Army: On top of the story of how he got his nickname, when his past does come back to haunt him, he manages to fend off his attackers literally without even trying.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Downplayed; Tatsu likes housekeeping and being a house husband but his approach is more like cleaning a crime scene or completing missions for the clan. His apron is the only thing that can pass as cute.
- Red Baron: Immortal Tatsu, a nickname he got after busting ten rival yakuza's heads with a pipe in their headquarters.
- Retired Badass: Tatsu himself. Most of the comedy is derived from him leaving the lifestyle but not the ways of the Yakuza e.g. treating a roomba like a new recruit to the gang.
- Retired Monster: Tatsu again; his comments about his past life and his known exploits show he was involved in the messier work.
- Rugged Scar: One of his most notable features is the long, thin scar on his left eye. It adds to his scary yakuza look.
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Tatsu's relationship with his wife Miku. He is a stone cold ex-criminal while she is career-oriented with a large otaku streak. Best shown when both go shopping together, with him being frugal and her being more willing to splurge money.
- Slasher Smile: Tatsu's smile always suggests he's about to brutally murder someone.
- Supreme Chef: He attends cooking classes and is known to excel in that field. He can prepare food ranging from simple Japanese dishes to refined Caneles. Miku's mother finds that very impressive about him.
- Tattooed Crook: Or ex-crook, as the case may be. Like any good Yakuza, Tatsu has elaborate tattoos all over his back and arms. He makes a concentrated effort to cover them up these days.
- When She Smiles: Most of his smiles are terrifying, especially in the exercise class chapter, but now and then something goes right in domestic life and he has a much cuter smile.
Miku is Tatsu's wife and a career woman working as a designer.
- Badass Adorable: While it is played for comedy, she once clotheslines Tatsu so hard it sends him flying several meters through the air.
- Tatsu mentions that Miku can sometimes be scary when she is being frustrated.
- Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Miku seems to make sure Tatsu acts at least somewhat normal. The only time Miku acts out is when she's around things related to PoliCure - and that time when she and Tatsu had nearly the same reaction to a cockroach in the apartment.
- Fangirl: She's a huge fan of the in-universe anime PoliCure and fawns over the merchandise.
- Genki Girl: Downplayed. Miku just seems energetic and a bit foolish at times for someone her age.
- Happily Married: Tatsu and Miku love each other despite their different lifestyles.
- Not So Different: She can be just as equally and unintentionally creepy as Tatsu, as shown in Chapter 27.
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Miku's relationship with Tatsu. He is a stone cold ex-criminal while she is career-oriented with a large otaku streak. Best shown when both go shopping together, with him being frugal and her being more willing to splurge money.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Miku looks very much like a younger version of her mother.
- Played by: Tamaki Shiratori
Tatsu's former underling, who still looks up to his aniki even after all these years.
- Dirty Coward: When Masa is being harassed by some rival thugs, he decides to hide behind Tatsu. Tatsu promptly yells at Masa to not drag other people into his own problems.
- Insane Troll Logic: Believes that the way of the Yakuza and that of the house husband are one and the same and decides to follow Tatsu. Given how many yakuza in the series are like Tatsu he might not be that off.
- Lazy Bum: Tatsu call him a legendary wasteman when he shows him how to relax.
- Men Can't Keep House: As the complete opposite of Tatsu he doesn't tidy up his apartment.
- Real Men Wear Pink: Tatsu manages to rope him into his domestic hobbies and pursuits, such as building an adorable chair as a DIY project, or growing herbs for cooking.
- Sidekick: Becomes this to Tatsu.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Picks a fight with a larger group of yakuza, refers to Tatsu as aniki (usually translated as bro), acts like the two are close, and assumes he'll immediately help him with the fight. Tatsu has no memory of who he is the second time they meet, indicating that he probably wasn't as important as he thinks he was.