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Characters / Un, dos, tres

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    Don Cicuta
"¡Ojalá no cobre este mes!" ("I hope you're not paid this month!"
Don Cicuta is one of the most important citizens from Tacañón del Todo. He came to the show to be sure that they wouldn't expend too much money giving it away on prizes and stuff. He thinks he knows it all and becomes really pedantic when contestants fail, and he hates the costumes worn by the secretaries, who he thinks walk around nearly naked, even though they show nothing more than the legs barely over the knees.
Played by: Valentín Tornos

  • Grumpy Old Man: He is always complaining about the secretaries' skimpy suits, the lack of culture of contestants and the amount of money that is spent on the show.
  • Moral Guardian: He's an advocate of censorship and hates the secretaries' costumes, which he sees blatantly indecent.
  • Outdated Outfit: As anybody else in Tacañón del Todo, Don Cicuta dresses as if he was from the 19th century.
  • The Scrooge: Don Cicuta is a miser old man who gets physically sick when contestants win high amounts of money or fabulous prizes, and rejoices when they fail in the questions and go home with a worthless prize.

    Las Tacañonas
"¡Campana y se ha acabao!" ("This is the bell and time is out!") From left to right, Mari Puri, La Seño and La Viuda de Poco.
Las Tacañonas or The Miser Ladies, are a trio of sisters that took charge of being the negative cast of the show for the highest amount of episodes. They are La Viuda de Poco (Few's Widow), the oldest of them, and twin sisters Inmaculada, better known as "La Seño" ("The Teacher") and Mari Puri. Viuda de Poco hates contestants winning money. La Seño rejoices on seeing them losing as a punishment for their lack of culture, and Mari Puri hates contestant just for applying to the show, as without contestants there would be no show and she wouldn't have to stand seeing the secretaries and their "immoral" costumes. These virtues were inherited from their predecesor, Don Cicuta.
Played by: Fernanda Hurtado (Mari Puri), Teresa Hurtado (La Seño), Paloma Hurtado (Viuda de Poco)

  • Distaff Counterpart: To their direct predecessors, Los Tacañones, which in turn were Decomposite Characters from Don Cicuta. Each one of Los Tacañones inherited one of Don Cicuta's traits, and those traits were divided the same way in Las Tacañonas.

  • Hypocrite: Even though Mari Puri is officially against any form of lust, she has no trouble in letting herself get carried away with passion if the time is right.
    Mari Puri: I was wandering around the park, when suddenly, the rapist showed up, and of course, I started running, and running, with so much anguish, with so much desperation...
    Mayra: And what happened!?
    Mari Puri: The rapist ran so fast... that I couldn't catch him!

  • Insufferable Genius: Seño has a lot of knowledge, she knows it and she won't stop showing off about it.
    Mayra: Why do you, Seño, defender of culture, rejoice when contestants lose?
    Seño: When contestants give a low amount of answers, I'm glad that they lose as a punishment for their ignorance!
    Mayra: And what if they give a high amount answers?
    Seño: They never give a high amount of answers. Anything less than 50 answers per question is proving the unculture where 39,999,999 Spanish citizens are immersed into!
    Mayra: You left one out of the 40 million citizens.
    Seño: Of course I did. I left out the only cultured one: me!

  • Meaningful Name: Mari Puri is short for "María de la Purificación", so aside from the possible allusion to Virgin Mary, Purificación translates as 'purification', referencing the idea of purity and implying her role as the Moral Guardian of the trio.

  • Moral Guardian: This role is taken by Mari Puri, and she's ready to take it to the extreme.
    Mari Puri: My mission here is to make everything turn back to the chaste years of the past.
    Mayra: You mean, the 1940s censorship?
    Mari Puri: Oh, my goodness, no, madam, gross! These years were also too frivolous! What I want to bring back is... the Inquisition!

  • Outdated Outfit: All of them wear outdated dresses from the 19th century. In Mari Puri's case, it's hinted that she favors wearing an Old-Timey Bathing Suit, which has caused her trouble when going swimming:
    Mari Puri: A decent swimming suit must have the neckline up to the neck, and then go down to the ankles, like the ones I wear!
    Viuda de Poco: Sure, sure, from the neck to the ankles, like the ones you wear. That's why when we go to the swimming pool, people confuse you with a clown...

  • The Scrooge: Viuda de Poco pinches her pennies and makes sure that contestants get pinched, figurative and literally if necessary, for any single penny they win.
    Mayra: Sorry, lady, but I think you got it wrong.
    Viuda de Poco: *smiling* Oh, so the thing of giving away three cars last week was all fake? Of course, I told them that couldn't be true...
    Mayra: No, I mean that last week we didn't give three cars. We gave six cars! Three for the contestants and three for the suffering contestants.
    Viuda de Poco: *turning pale, stuttering and trembling* Oh... you're right... I had forgotten... I'm losing it... I'm losing it!
    [She faints and falls in her chair]
    Seño & Mari Puri: *at the same time* She lost it!

  • Stern Teacher: La Seño is a tough, relentless teacher that won't let even the slightest mishap slide, but she will always be fair to the contestants and only call a mistake when it really is.


    La Loli
"Me llaman la Ballesteros, porque lo mío es el golf... el golf... el golfeo." ("They call me Ballesteros, cause I don't stop flir... flir... flirting around.")
Loli is a prostitute who has no luck in love, let alone in finding clients, so she strives to find a decent job to get out of the streets and a good man who would want her as his wife. But her constant stuttering doesn't help her getting jobs and when she gets one she fails miserably and gets fired. Her mortal enemy is La Pelos, another prostitute in the same street, who steals her the clients and makes her life miserable.
Played by: Beatriz Carvajal

  • Hooker with a Heart of Gold: Loli works as a prostitute, but she is a nice girl... if you don't mention her rival, La Pelos.
  • Porky Pig Pronunciation: One of the biggest traits of Loli was that she couldn't help stuttering all the time, and sometimes she scared Mayra because it looked as if she was going to say some bad word, when she wasn't.
    Loli: Con tanto pelotazo en el cu... en el cu... en el cu... (After being hit so many times with the ball on the but... on the but.... on the but...)
    Mayra: ¿Dónde? (Where?)
    Loli: ¡En el cuerno! (On the horn!)
  • Unexpected Virgin: Yes, she's a prostitute, and she hasn't had nor any boyfriend neither even a single client after years of trying, mainly because La Pelos, her rival, steals them all from her. One wonders how she hasn't starved yet.

    La Bombi
"¿Por qué seráaa?" ("Why may that beee?")
Dianita is a gorgeously sexy model that is nicknamed "La Bombi", "The Bomb", because people says she has "blowing attributes". She also has the mind of a naive innocent girl and doesn't understand the sexual innuendo that happens around her. It doesn't help that she uses to choose provocative sexy clothing that heightens her appearance to the extreme, leading to awkward but funny situations happenning to her.
Played by: Fedra Lorente

  • Brainless Beauty: She might be nice, she certainly is gorgeous, but unfortunately she won't get anywhere because of her brains, or lack thereof.
  • The Ingenue: Bombi is like a little girl trapped in the body of a gorgeous woman.
  • Innocent Fanservice Girl: She's as gorgeous as she is naive. She seems completely unaware of the effects she has on men, and continually wonders why men do what they do when they approach her.

"Piticlin, Piticlin!"
Bigote is a Mexican beggar who goes around telling his lame jokes to anyone who wants to hear them (and also to anyone who doesn't want to hear them, like poor Mayra).
Played by: Edmundo 'Bigote' Arrocet

  • Magnificent Moustaches of Mexico: Well, his name literally means 'Moustache', so it's natural that he sported a big moustache in his face.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Bigote is always smiling and sports a cheerful, happy attitude.
  • So Unfunny, It's Funny: He always ends telling some short of lame or dad joke that exasperates the host, but that joke is so bad that it ends up being good.

    Colonel McPhantom
The lead negative character during the early episodes of the tenth season, and also the first negative character not hailing from Tacañón del Todo after 20 years. An official of the book-burning Fahrenheit 451 brigade, he always seemed to at least know what the book of the week was about and sometimes even pitched ideas for their movie adaptation... which more often than not involved getting them turned into overblown Hollywood blockbusters. He was always accompanied by his voiceless sidekick, Sergeant Kowalski. They were later expelled from the brigade due to their constant failures and replaced by Antilivroff and Dimitri.
Played by: Miguel Mugni

  • Demoted to Extra: After being replaced by Antilivroff as the lead negative character, he became a mercenary and started playing smaller bits at the auction part.
  • Knight of Cerebus: He was a more serious antagonist than the Tacañón del Todo characters, which is regarded as one of the reasons why he didn't catch on.
  • Running Gag: One of the men from his post-brigade squad, Sanders, often suffered severe injuries that would require the rest of the group leaving immediately to get medical attention for him.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: As McPhantom was supposed to be American, Mugni did his best to put out an accent that fit the gimmick, even if it was hard to identify.

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