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    The Ultimate Heroes for Hire 

In General
Background: Vanessa. Foreground, left to right: Captain Falcon, Cassandra, Yoshi, Pichu, Sonic, Pickle
A group of heroes whose mission is to keep the world at peace, fighting against the Board of Evil whenever they can. Most of the time, however, they're engaging in some form of wacky misadventure.
  • Cool Airship: The Pennywhacker, which is just the Halberd with a cheesier name. Many characters call out Captain Falcon for this decision.
  • Fun with Acronyms: Often go by UHFH.
  • Straight Man and Wise Guy: The entire group is like this. Captain Falcon and Pickle are consistent wise guys, Vanessa and Cassandra routinely play the role of the straight men (or rather, straight women), and the rest of the group fall somewhere in the middle.
  • Un-person: Whoever Colin was, nobody is allowed to ask.
    Cassandra: Wait, who's Colin?
    Yoshi: [ominously] We don't talk about Colin.
    Sonic: Yeah, so don't ask questions you don't want to know the answer to. Trust me, you don't want to know the answer.


Voiced by: AmaletzTheShark
The Hero of the story. Following the Melee tournaments, Pichu was one of a select few fighters who were rejected from participating in the Brawl tournaments. Having spent every day since then in training, Pichu's newfound strength allowed to make a triumphant return to the tournament scene and become champion. Immediately afterward, he is inducted into the Ultimate Heroes for Hire.
  • Annoying Younger Sibling: Pikachu treats him like one.
  • Badass Adorable: Pichu's cute appearance is a mask that hides his unrivaled skills to beat (Almost) any opponent he faces. Justified by Pichu himself.
    Pichu: Not my fault I'm badass and adorable at the same time.
  • Chick Magnet: Becomes one of these after becoming champion.
  • Create Your Own Villain: His victory over Bayonetta in his debut exhibition match leads to the Umbra Witch swearing vengeance on him.
  • Does Not Know His Own Strength: Despite his new strength, Pichu has yet to learn how to properly control it. Thus, he tires out fairly quickly once he's pushed to his limits.
  • Only Sane Man: When he lived with the other rejected Smashers. Once he joins the Ultimate Heroes for Hire, Pichu goes back and forth between joining the hijinks and wondering how the group manages to function the way it does.
  • Pintsized Powerhouse: Became one of these after years of extensive training. By the time he returns to Smash, Pichu is able to go toe-to-toe with top tier fighters.
  • Sibling Rivalry: With Pikachu, his older brother.
  • Stronger Than They Look: Pichu is still viewed as a “joke character” because of his prolonged absence. After defeating Bayonetta in his debut match, though, the general public quickly acknowledges his newfound strength.


Voiced by: AmaletzTheShark
One of the Ultimate Heroes for Hire. Yoshi and Pichu had been friends back when the latter was in the Melee tournaments, and time has done nothing to strain their relationship. Yoshi is generally an amicable person, but he does harbor some lingering depression over the death of his former girlfriend, Birdo.
  • The Lost Lenore: Birdo is this for him. Yoshi never gets over her death, even when his feelings for Cassandra begin to develop.
  • Speed Dating: Is encouraged by his friends to give it a shot. He quickly decides to call it quits when none of the available ladies meet his standards.


The princess of a kingdom known as Dragondong. She ran away from home escape an arranged marriage set up by her father. She is relentlessly pursued by Prince Sheldon, who desprately wants Cassandra to return his romantic feelings. When she arrives in the World of Light, she comes across Yoshi, and immediately falls in love with him. The feeling is mutual for Yoshi as well, but neither of them are entirely aware of the others' feelings. Cassandra gets a hint though, as Yoshi seemingly felt jealous when she commented that she wouldn't mind cuddling with Bowser.

Captain Falcon

Voiced by: EBNall

  • By-the-Book Cop: Of sorts. Samus expresses distrust when Lord Douglas invites the UHFH to parley, which Falcon counters by citing an actual subsection in the Rulebook of Heroes & Villains.
    Captain Falcon: [revealing his personal copy of the rulebook] See here? Page 544, Section II, Subsection B.
    [Subsection B is focused on, reading, "When one side of two opposing factions invokes 'parley,' it is considered heroic to agree to the parley, even if negotiations are likely not to be met.]
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: To the point where this man is more obsessed with his toast and staring contests than his own privacy or dignity, or than actual important emergency calls.
  • Giver of Lame Names: Pennywhacker, Fists of Justice, UHFH (The F is silent).
  • Good Cop/Bad Cop: Plays the Bad Cop to Samus' Good Cop during an interrogation of Ridley. Falcon gets too excited over it, however, and his poor questions coupled with unintentionally ordering Ridley not to talk gets him nowhere.
  • The Leader: Though it's debatable how good of one he is.
  • Name's the Same: His full name is Douglas Jay Falcon, which means he has the dubious honor of sharing a name with Lord Douglas.


Voiced by: infotroph
Sonic is the speedster of the Ultimate Heroes. But he also comes off as a huge jerk to almost everyone around him. He especially hates Pickle, as he is constantly annoyed by his stupidity. Word of God declares a specific reason behind Sonic's toxic attitude, but the series has yet to delve into that.
  • Jerkass: Almost everything that comes out of Sonic's mouth is spoken with a sarcastic and condescending attitude.
  • The Scrappy: Sonic's toxic personality has made him one of the most hated characters in the series


Voiced by: AmaletzTheShark
Even among the members of the Ultimate Heroes for Hire, Pickle isn't exactly the brightest bulb. He frequently talks in non-sequitirs and comes up with harebrained ideas in situations where they aren't needed. While the team does express some annoyance with Pickle, they still treat with a healthy amount of respect.
  • Breath Weapon: Can spit both fire and poison breath. To everyone's confusion, Pickle is only capable of spitting fire when attacking foes that are behind him.
  • Eyeless Face: Subverted in that he does apparently have eyes. According to him, they’re simply disguised to resemble the rest of his spots so people won’t feel like he’s constantly staring at him.
  • The Fool: Easily the most airheaded member of the crew.
  • Kindhearted Simpleton: What Pickle lacks in intelligence, he makes up for in kindness… the only downside is that, because of the aforementioned lack of intelligence, his attempts at being kind are often misguided.
  • Mix-and-Match Critters: Downplayed, since he posesses the abilities of several different Piranha Plant species.
  • Smart Ball: As Sonic discovers, Pickle becomes astonishingly intelligent if he becomes sufficiently dehydrated.


  • Adaptational Heroism: Sort of. Vanessa is a Parasite Queen, which was a monstrous creature experimented upon by Space Pirates prior to being killed by Samus in its home game. Here, Vanessa is the benevolent Mission Control who monitors all activities pertinent to the UHFH.
  • Beleaguered Assistant: While the UHFH are her friends, it’s still rare for them to actually take her advice. At one point, Pichu actually comes back to apologize for ignoring her earlier and admits Vanessa’s “on the half of the team that isn’t stupid.”
  • Mission Control: Vanessa is the one who provides intel for the UHFH prior to every mission. She’s also in control of all the defenses on the Pennywhacker.

    The Board of Evil 

In General

  • Card-Carrying Villain: Why else would they call themselves the "Board of Evil"?
  • Decided by One Vote: Lord Douglas was elected this way—only because Ganondorf cast his vote for him whereas everyone else voted for themselves. It's eventually revealed that Ganon did vote for himself—the ballot was swapped out by Bowser as part of his duties as The Mole, allowing for Douglas' ascent to power.
  • The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: It takes a while for them to actually do something that isn’t related to board meetings. It’s only when Mewtwo is allowed to lead a mission that they finally cause some havoc.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: A lot of their meetings are spent mocking each other, with Bowser and Ridley often taking the brunt of the teasing. At the end of the day, though, they still get along amicably with each other.

Lord Douglas
The eccentric leader of the Board of Evil. Lord Douglas assembled all the fighters with villainous reputations to serve an unknown purpose... even to said villains he recruited. His leadership mainly consists of hosting board meetings and, on occasion, harassing the Ultimate Heroes for Hire.


Voiced by: EBNall
The Great King of Evil and Douglas' right-hand man. Ganondorf is perhaps the only board member who has earned Lord Douglas' genuine respect, and thus he is assigned missions important to the Board of Evil's success.
  • The Dragon: Serves as this for Lord Douglas. Ganondorf is often assigned the more important missions pertaining to the Board's activities.
  • Harmless Villain: In spite of his fearsome reputation, the Ultimate Heroes for Hire don't view him as any more of a threat than the other Board of Evil members.
    Yoshi: Oh, it's just Ganondorf.
    Ganondorf: It's...Just Ganondorf?!
  • Heir-In-Law: He briefly considers this once he discovers that Cassandra is royalty. When asked if this means he's in love with a Charizard, he counters that there's no romance involved: he just wants a legitimate claim to the throne.
    Ganondorf: The thought of kissing reptilian lips is enough to make a sane man vomit!
  • Not So Above It All: Despite his posturing of being attempting to be intimidating and the straight man to the whole group, he occasionally takes part in the comedy of the series.
    • He says he has hobbies outside of being the "King of Evil".
    • He tells the whole board that he unironically likes Taylor Swift music, since he thought Mewtwo read his mind and was told everyone...except Mewtwo did no such thing.


Voiced by: AmaletzTheShark
A member of the Board of Evil and eventually revealed to be The Mole for the Ultimate Heroes for Hire. Bowser is largely ignored or disliked by the other board members, and the one thing they can all agree on is teasing him over even the smallest things. Bowser's only friend on the Board is Ridley, and the two frequently hang out together.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Ridley is Bowser's only real friend on the board. Everyone else, including Lord Douglas and especially Ganondorf, go out of their way to antagonize him whenever possible.
  • The Mole: It's revealed that Bowser was always working for the Ultimate Heroes for Hire, and would leak vital Board of Evil secrets back to them.
  • Mr. Fanservice: In-universe, Bowser has been voted "Smash's Sexiest Man Alive" for five years running. His bulky frame, Doting Parent personality and being a reformed villain all help contribute to his popularity.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: In order to not blow his cover as the UHFH's mole, he feigned an angry phone call about his pizza order... to Mc Donald's. Ganondorf is justifiably annoyed by Bowser's apparent idiocy, throwing him off the scent of Bowser's deceit.
  • Secret Test of Character: His fight against Pichu was organized by Palutena and the UHFH to determine if Pichu would be a suitable member of the team.
  • Villains Out Shopping: He and Ridley frequently hang out at Wario's Tavern, and the two get along amicably with the Ultimate Heroes for Hire members once they arrive. The restaurant is deemed "neutral ground" by both parties, although the rest of the Board of Evil is unaware of this.


  • The Atoner: After a lot of time wrestling back and forth with his feelings, he eventually decides that he wants to make amends for his mistakes now that he understands what it was like for all the people he hurt.
  • The Dreaded: Carried a violent reputation prior to his Heel–Face Turn. It's telling that, when he confronts a crazed killer on the streets, the killer immediately pleads for his life in exchange for allowing Ridley to kill the innocent victim. Ridley murdering the criminal is what solidifies his Heel–Face Turn.
  • Villains Out Shopping: Hangs out at Wario's Tavern with Bowser quite often, and he even gives an impromptu poetry session there once he masters it. Ridley gets along favorably with the heroes when they come to the restaurant, deeming it "neutral ground."
  • Wicked Cultured: Develops an interest in poetry. He learned it in order to impress Samus.
  • Betty and Veronica: Ridley expresses romantic interest in Samus, while being completely unaware of Blue's romantic interest in him.

    Bayonetta & Her Allies 


Voiced by: ChaosX
The former Smash champion, Bayonetta's fighting prowess was considered legendary... until she got beaten by former Joke Character Pichu in his debut match, which dealt a crippling blow to her ego and reputation. Following this humiliation, Bayonetta swears to exact her vengeance on Pichu.
  • Evil Is Petty: Bayonetta is so obsessed with getting revenge on Pichu that she sends assassins after him and even joins the Board of Evil all because he took her title as Champion.
  • The Dreaded: Ridley is absolutely terrified of her. Justified, given the Curb-Stomp Battle Bayonetta inflicted on him when he first entered the tournament.
  • It's All About Me: Is completely obsessed with herself.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: After Bayonetta loses to Pichu, she insists on being the one to defeat him in every subsequent encounter.
  • Permission to Speak Freely: Demands that her subordinates request permission before they speak to her.
  • Sore Loser: Considering how she wants Pichu brutally tortured after only two encounters, saying Bayonetta qualifies as this is an understatement.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: Says this word for word after assembling her team, which ends up being comprised of braindead projectile spammers.

One of Bayonetta's allies on her quest for revenge. Simon's only go-to strategy is to toss as many projectiles as possible, and on rare occasion make use of the whip that serves as his "primary" weapon.


Voiced by: Redway6697
One of Bayonetta's allies on her quest for revenge. His preferred strategy is spamming PK Fire until he's racked up enough damage to finish his opponents off, rarely using any of his other abilities.
  • Dirty Kid: Half the things that come out of Ness' mouth are either sexual innuendos directed toward Bayonetta or him expressing interest in... having relations with Bayonetta.
    Ness: If I give her what she wants, then maybe she'll give me what I want. [chuckles]
  • Fire, Ice, Lightning: Ness is armed with varying PK powers. He puts all his faith in PK Fire, however.
  • The Smart Guy: He's the smartest of Bayonetta's goons, though this doesn't really amount to much.

Young Link

Voiced by: TheBoneHeadClan
One of Bayonetta's allies on her quest for revenge. Young Link's specialty is shooting as many arrows as possible, following it up with constantly throwing his boomerang.
  • Battle Boomerang: Throws one out in between barrages of arrows.
  • Forgotten Phlebotinum: His sword. Young Link's mindset is so deeply entrenched in a projectile spam fighting style that when Bayonetta asks about his sword, all he can do is just stare at her blankly.

    The Blades in the Dark 

In General

The Blades in the Dark are a group of mercenaries hired by Bayonetta to capture Pichu so that she can kill him. They are neither good nor evil (Except Blackblade, who kills for pleasure). The Blades in the Dark align themselves with their client, but will readily betray them if an opponent offers a higher bid.


Wave is the fourth member of the Blades in the Dark. Her special technique involves seducing her enemies with her sexy appearance and her flirtatious attitude. Pichu becomes just one of the many victims of her facade. But she soon begins to develop legitimate feelings for Pichu after she realizes that he genuinely likes her, and does not take advantage of her seductive persona.
  • Femme Fatale: Is this initially, Until Pichu opens her heart and sees that he doesn't just want her for her beauty, he wants her for who she is.
  • High-Heel–Face Turn: Subverted. Even though she is touched by his admiration of her, Wave suppresses her feelings, and continues the plan to lead him on.

     Other Characters 

A prominent restaurateur and the richest Smasher in the World of Light.
  • Fiction 500: Is outright stated to be the wealthiest Smasher.
  • Insistent Terminology: "That's the Wario Triple Mega Burger with fries on top!"
  • Kitschy-Themed Restaurant: All his restaurants are themed after himself. This extends to almost every single item on his menu, as all the food and drinks include “Wario” somewhere in the name. note  The sole exception is wine.
  • Leave No Witnesses: Wario ominously says this as he pulls out a Blaster when Yoshi and Cassandra point out that wine has existed for centuries. Fortunately, nothing serious comes of it.
  • Lethal Eatery: Several of his menu items are loaded with enough fat and grease that they are labeled “heart attack burgers.” He is legally required to inform customers of the health risks should they attempt to eat these items.
    Wario: Be warned, it does come with the possibility of a heart attack even in the healthiest individuals.
  • Mega-Corp: Wario essentially owns the restaurant industry, with almost any type of catering establishment (bars, pubs, taverns, diners, etc.) operating under the Wario brand. This even extended to a college at one point, though it failed for unknown reasons.
  • Noodle Incident: Nobody knows what caused the college named in Wario’s honor to close its doors.


The eccentric President of the World of Light.
  • The Comically Serious: Takes his duties as President very seriously. Also prone to whipping out “the Shakespeare voice” on occasion, especially when dealing with royalty and/or with like-minded individuals.
  • Flowery Elizabethan English: Occasionally speaks in “the Shakespeare voice.” This happens more often when around other like-minded Smashers, like Prince Sheldon.
  • Money Dumb: Managed to rack up a ten million dollar debt only a few weeks into his administration. All of it was spent on hookers.
  • Our Presidents Are Different: Falls under the “President Personable” category. Marth appears to routinely mingle among the populace and is always willing to lend a hand to those in need of help.
  • Shockingly Expensive Bill: Somehow spent ten million dollars on prostitutes.
  • Those Two Guys: Is never seen without Roy, his close friend and adviser.


Yoshi's Sister. She is most often seen interacting with Ridley after he saves her from a crazed serial killer.
  • Damsel in Distress: Played straight when she is attacked by a serial killer
  • Kill the Cutie: Subverted, as Ridley comes to her rescue in the nick of time.
  • The Cutie: Blue is very kind-hearted and open-minded, and she always finds a reason to see the good in everyone, including Ridley.

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