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Matt Key (Luigi): "People wanna watch There Will Be Brawl because it's the entire Nintendo universe fighting. I mean, is way beyond the Mario Brothers, I mean, by end of the series we will have like 50 different characters that have made small little cameos parts in there, and that's..."
Paul Duraso (Mario): "That's what you always wanted as a kid. To play Mario and Zelda."

A Character sheet for the cast of the Deconstructive Affectionate Parody that is There Will Be Brawl. Now, we know that almost the entire cast is Darker and Edgier and many of them give away several Mythology Gags, so let's give those for granted already.

Now let's get rolling.

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     Our "Heroes" 

Luigi Mario
"It will not be a Melee. It will be a Brawl."

Played by: Matt Key

Mario's younger brother, a good man going through bad times, doing what he got to do. Secretly a drug dealer working with his not-friend Wario and some other not-so-noble activities, but he will still do what is right when it's needed.

  • Bad Ass Longcoat: Never seen without it. Until the finale at least, using it to cover Red's body.
  • Batter Up!: During his first fight, he uses a baseball bat as a weapon.
  • Deal with the Devil: Makes a bargain with Ganondorf for information.
  • Dramatic Shattering: In Episode 3. Yes, he does care for the Kingdom.
  • Gentle Giant: Somewhat. He is not a gentle as other giants, and he isn't that gigantic, but he IS kinder than most of the characters (the exceptions being Red and Peach), and he IS the second tallest characters in the show, shorter than only Ganondorf, so...
  • Heroic BSoD: Upon finding who the butchers are, and even more so when finding out Peach is dead. Who can blame him, when it basically means all he's been fighting for was worth nothing.
  • I Let Gwen Stacy Die: Before the series started, he was unable to keep Kirby from killing Daisy.
  • Impressive Pyrotechnics: Oh, boy! His final attack was a darn big explosion.
  • My Greatest Failure: Failing to save Daisy.
  • Nice Hat: His customary green "Mario brother" hat.
  • Private Eye Monologue: Through the entire series.
  • Seeker Archetype: For most of the series, he just wants to understand what the hell is going on with his city.
  • Shut Up, Hannibal!: "I've had enough of your head games!" *punch*
  • The Stoic: Not that much, but there's certainly some degree of it.
  • Take Me Instead: In episode 6, when Red is captured and about to be interrogated, Luigi cannot bear the thought of letting it happen to someone as innocent as Red and shouts at Sheik to take him instead. It works.
  • Taking You with Me: He attempts this at the end with Kirby, Ness, and Lucas, but it turns out not to work.
  • Verbal Tic: He is-a-Mario brother, after all.

Mario Mario
"Alone? There are two Super Mario Brothers."

Played by: Paul Duraso

It's-a me, Mario! But not the same anymore. Our well known hero here has fallen into infamy and apparent depression. No longer a plumber, failed as a doctor, he nowadays resorts to drinking to drown his problems, but when Peach is kidnapped again, after falling at the bottom for a while, he got back up like never before, determined to rescue her.

  • Anti-Hero: He'll fight for the Mushroom Kingdom, but is very prone to violence and anger.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: While he does frequently insult Luigi and yell at him when things don't go right, he still loves his brother.
  • Ax-Crazy: Sometimes his fits of rage go too far.
  • Berserk Button: Never call Mario a plumber. Wario finds this out the hard way.
  • Big Damn Heroes: His arrival at the police department to rescue his brother and the others.
  • Big "NO!": Upon finding Yoshi's remains.
  • Bring My Red Jacket: Always wears his signature red shirt, and constantly gets into bloody fights.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Episode eight is pretty much all about him.
  • Drop the Hammer: Donkey Kong was on the wrong end of it.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: He spends most of the series as an alcoholic, but later on, upon seeing Peach's doll when he was about to take a drink, he realizes what he's doing and puts the bottle down.
  • Fallen Hero: How he starts.
  • General Ripper: He's pretty quick to assume Bowser is behind everything.
    Mario: "It is always-a Bowser!"
  • He's Back: In the finale when he puts his hat back on.
  • Limit Break: He performs his Final Smash against the Eldritch Abomination that is Game & Watch at the end.
  • Playing with Fire: Comes with Fire Flower in one scene, and later unleashes a massive fireball attack with his Final Smash. And if that wasn't enough:
    Luigi: "Bro, you're playing with fire!"
    Mario: "The Super Mario Brothers are used to playing with fire!"
  • Rebel Leader:
    • When attacking the police station.
      Mario: "And you know me! If I can't do it myself... I will raise a fucking army!"
    • And even moreso in the final episode.
  • Rousing Speech: To Olimar's cult. He brings them back to their senses, and then calls them all out to fight to reclaim the streets of their kingdom.
  • Supporting Leader: In the last episode, he leads his "fucking army" while Luigi confronts Kirby and the killers.

Princess Peach
"One child. No matter how far we fall, we are never past redemption as long as we can hear the laughter of one child."

Played by: Kat Steel

Still the princess of the Mushroom Kingdom, Peach is having a hard time dealing with the newly corrupt city, while her relationship with Mario and Luigi) is attempted to keep secret, yet it's causing her troubles. When she gets kidnapped again, Luigi and later Mario strive to find her.

     Luigi's Allies 

Samus Aran
"Lucky for you, girls on my line of work have all sorts of contacts."

Played by: Becky Young (Zero Suit) and Daisy Viktoria (Varia Suit)

A popular stripper who uses her job to get plenty of information. Luigi recurs to her when seeking leads in his search for the princess, and from there onward she tags along in his fight to save the kingdom.

"So, was I any good?"

Played by: Kyle Blythe

A young Pokemon Trainer of an innocent and generous personality. He's possibly the only untarnished good guy of the entire cast, working for Mewtwo and Wario but remains oblivious to their crimes, working at the Pokémon orphanage in the slums.

  • Cheerful Child: Despite everything that's happening around him.
  • Children Are Innocent: The most unambiguously good character.
  • Cowardly Lion: In episode nine, when he is the first to intervene in the standoff between Ganondorf and Captain Falcon. He is visibly terrified by Ganondorf, yet steps forward anyway, telling him with a shaky voice to "Get out of our Kingdom!"
  • Dark Reprise: Done twice.
  • Kill the Cutie: He's murdered by Wario, on Ganondorf's orders, with one of the bombs Olimar made.
  • Meaningful Funeral: The end of Episode 9. Complete with a Dark Reprise of his theme tune.
  • Mons: Of course, if he has to do something for a fight, he'll do it with his Pokemon.
  • Morality Chain: To Luigi.
  • The Pollyanna: At first, his sunny disposition is strong enough to make him overlook his blatantly bad surroundings, such as insisting that the Pokemon fights, which everyone else treats as bloodsports, are just them "playing a little rough sometimes" and, in episode six, acting completely oblivious to the seriousness of the situation when he's arrested by Sheik and about to be taken off to be brutally interrogated.
  • Red Herring: He was conspicuously hiding Jigglypuff from Luigi and his friends in the earlier episodes, and many viewers were suspicious enough of that to have either him or Jigglypuff pegged as the Butcher. He gives his (completely innocent) explanation as he's dying, with his Last Words.
    Red: Luigi, I caught Jigglypuff! I didn't want you to know until I finished training her. She'll sing for you.
  • Tag Along Kid: He's this for Luigi and his allies.
  • Too Good for This Sinful Earth: At least, too good to survive in the corrupt Mushroom Kingdom.


Played by: Justin Harris

Star of Tingle's Gay Bar and Captain Falcon's personal bitch. As for himself, Pit is mostly innocent, yet not really heroic. He gets involved in the problems of Mario and Luigi, but remains mostly neutral about the situation.

  • Domestic Abuse: Falcon angrily smacks him in the face at one point.
  • The Mole: For Captain Falcon, who sent him to stay informed of the situation.
  • Neutral No Longer: Towards the end, he decides he and Falcon cannot stay out of the battle any longer.
  • Non-Action Guy: He doesn't seem to have any combat skills.
  • Tag Along Kid: For Captain Falcon.
  • Took a Level in Badass: He was a True Neutral and Non-Action Guy party during most of the series, but at the end he has a change of heart at the end and convinces Captain Falcon to join the final fight against Ganon and take part in the final battle.
  • Winged Humanoid: As is to be expected of an angel. They get severed during the final battle, however.

Captain Falcon
"Come back sometime. Maybe... show me your moves."

Played by: Damian Beurer

The one in charge of Tingle's Gay Bar when the boss is out. Like his little boyfriend, Pit, he prefers to stay away from the conflicts arising around the city, but won't doubt to raise his legendary fist in order to rescue Pit when necessary.

  • Big Damn Heroes: His indisputable Crowning Moment of Awesome. And he gets another one near the end.
  • Domestic Abuse: He angrily smacks Pit in the face at one point. But he won't tolerate anyone else harming him.
  • Heroic Neutral: He just wants to care for his own and stay out of trouble, until the situations gets so bad that he cannot tolerate it any longer.
  • In the Name of the Moon: His lines and delivery leading up to the epic Falcon Punch would do Sanger Zonvolt proud.
  • Manly Gay/Macho Camp: He is still a total badass, but at the same time is also a flamboyant leatherdaddy toting an ascot.
  • Megaton Punch: His signature move gets featured with quite a bit of build-up.

    The Police Force 

"None of us are the heroes we're supposed to be."

Played by: Tony Rago

Chief of the Mushroom Kingdom police department, and quite aware of how cynical he has become. He's willing to do what he has to in order to employ the law and bring down the mafia groups, regardless of what it takes. He comes to his senses and realizes he's being played by Zelda and Ganon, only for Zelda to stab him with the Master Sword. He recovers in the nick of time with a Maxim Tomato and makes his last heroic stand against Ganon, but fails—the sorcerer kills him.

"We'll rule this kingdom together!"

Played by: JoEllen Elam

Former princess of Hyrule, a nation that has fallen and been absorbed into Mushroom Kingdom. She works for the police, either as an Office Lady as Zelda, or as a secret agent as Sheik. However, it seems that her ambitions go too far, appointed the substitute ruler of the Kingdom by Link after Peach's disappearance.

  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: She wants to side with Link, but ultimately relies on Ganondorf to restore Hyrule to its former glory. As soon as Link grows a spine, Zelda betrays Ganon.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Hers is right in the grey area between a proper turn and a Heel–Face Door-Slam. She tries to be a Human Shield for Link in his final fight with Ganon, but it doesn't work at all, gets her killed, and he's killed right after she is.
  • Lady Drunk: She has to forget guilt somehow, hasn't she?
  • My Country, Right or Wrong: Her ultimate objective. Like Ganondorf, she too was dismayed at losing Hyrule; and so she began to use both Link and Ganondorf; whichever would come first to restore Hyrule to it's former glory and herself to Princess/Queen.
  • Ninja: As Sheik.
  • Office Lady: As Zelda.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: After she stabs Link at the end of Episode 9, Episode 10 opens with her crying her eyes out over a bathroom sink, not even wearing the crown she wanted so much.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Take a guess.
  • Teleporters and Transporters

Ike & Marth

Played by: Andrew Castner (Ike) and Gavin Niebel (Marth)
A couple (yes, in the romantic sense too) of officers working under Link's command at the police department. They pass out as mostly formal, but aren't very kind to the immigrants or former heroes. A flashback implies Marth's partner was Roy, before his death.

  • Adaptation Dye-Job: Ike is given black hair, likely to differentiate him from Marth, though it's shoulder length and straight rather than spiky.
  • Big Damn Heroes: Marth comes back to fight for Mario after Ike's apparent death.
  • Da Chief: Marth ends up promoted to Chief of Police in the epilogue, and it's implied he's going to do a good job of it.
  • Dual Wielding: During the final fight, Marth shows up with his and Ike's sword.
  • Enemy Mine: In the final fight, Marth with Fox.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Ike's death prompts Marth to make a change for the better.
  • Police Brutality: They are not the best cops ever, nor the gentlest. However, they are the most heroic when compared to the rest of the cops.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: Surprisingly, as opposed to their personalities in game, Marth's Red to Ike's Blue. Though they're mostly quiet, Marth comes across as much more hateful and merciless, openly mocking how much the Mario Brothers have fallen and even spitting at disgust at Luigi, who only wanted to help. Of course by the last episode, Marth becomes much more noble and responsible. Though just as arrogant, Ike seems to be less cruel and more dutiful. He also seems to be more sympathetic (despite his infamous quote), as he actually saves Luigi from getting shot by Falco, and actually reluctantly chooses to let Luigi go, prompting Luigi to come back and attempt to save him from Snake.
  • Straight Gay: They are in a relationship.

Saki and Isaac

Played by: Dustin Ingram (Saki) and Aaron Matthew (Issac)

A pair of corrupt cops, neither which are like their video game counterparts, both being very sadistic and take pleasure in the pain of others.

  • Corrupt Cop: Both of them are very cruel, sadistic, and enjoy the brutality they give to others.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: Vaporised by the Falcon Punch. Not a real loss though.
  • Jerkass: Even to their allies.
  • O.C. Stand-in: Like most of the characters, Isaac acts nothing like he does canonically, going from a noble silent warrior to a cruel and sadistic police officer. Especially since he is a minor character, and does not gain the justification behind their newer natures like more major characters (like Link and Bowser), with whom we get to learn what caused them to change so.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Both of them when meeting their well-deserved end.

Meta Knight

"I'll be here... watching."

Played by: Gavin Niebel (puppeteer) and Matthew Mercer (voice)

A... whatever he is, working for the Police Department for only one reason: Watch over Kirby. When Kirby escapes during a jailbreak, it seems Meta Knight will finally have his revenge on the cannibal.

  • Glowing Eyes of Doom: He is very menacing.
  • The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: He's been waiting a long time for an opportunity to fight Kirby to the death.
  • Red Herring: A lot of people guessed him as the Butcher, thanks in part to believing him to be a Game-Breaker in Brawl, and also due to Luigi's guess of the Butcher being "fast and good with a blade." This appears to be true when Meta Knight shows up on the Nintendo tower, running Ganon through, but is revealed to be Kirby in disguise. The real Meta Knight is dead.
  • Talking to Yourself: He and Kirby are both played by one of the series' creators, Matthew Mercer.

     Wario's Stable 

"Information sells high these days."

Played by: Kyle Hebert

Sells drugs and engages in other unethical activities. Wario was working under Mewtwo's command until the mafia don was killed. Wario is potentially the most unlikable character in the series for how much of a jerk he is, and how willing he seems to be to backstab anyone as long as it benefits him.

Played by Kyle Hebert. Yes, really.

  • Berserk Button: He doesn't like it when people talk about his family.
    Mario: Say hi to your brother for me!
    Wario: FUCK you!
  • Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: He'll switch sides as soon as it benefits his own interests.
  • Dirty Coward: In episode 10, he either snivelishly backpedals when talking to or flat-out runs away on three separate occasions—from Luigi, Mario, and Leaf.
    Wario: I've never been a proud man, Luigi. I'm just a survivor.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He's a Dirty Coward and a scumbag, but he is shown to be genuinely caring for his brother Waluigi.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Even though they are his personal guard, Wario can't stand the Ice Climbers' brutality and gives Luigi advice to get through the Ice Climbers torture-based interrogation.
    Wario: Keep your head up and whatever you do, don't cry. They get off on it.
  • Jerkass: Almost (but not totally) impossible to sympathize with him.
  • The Mole: Works for multiple characters - first Mewtwo, then the cops, then Ganon, and possibly Bowser too.
  • Nightmare Fetishist: He seems to... enjoy... describing the Gorn that happens around him.
  • Only in It for the Money: In the words of his actor:
    Kyle Hebert: "Is he... evil to the core? Mh... depends on how much money there is to gain."
  • Pet the Dog: His only real good trait seems to be the fact that he looks after mentally handicapped brother, Waluigi. But...



Played by Jeff Lewis (you know, from The Guild!)

Wario's mentally disabled brother. Wario doesn't treat Waluigi very well, keeping him locked in a pen most of the time, but the fact that he looks after Wa at all is his sole redeeming quality.

  • Children Are Innocent: Well, mentally he's a child, anyway. Subverted when Wario uses him to kill Red, but even then it's implied Waluigi doesn't realize that what he's doing is wrong.
  • Morality Pet: Subverted. He really does nothing for Wario's morality.
  • Mythology Gag: Most of Waluigi's lines are Shout Outs to the Mario spin-off titles he's appeared in.

Ice Climbers

Played by: Diana Tolin (Nana) and Tim Williams (Popo)

They're working under Wario, and one of the most prominent examples of how far the Darker and Edgier setting has gone. They never speak, but you really wouldn't like to share a word with them.

  • Ax-Crazy: They have literally no characterization beyond this.
  • Chaotic Stupid: Is it a really a good idea to smack your brother on the head with your hammer in the middle of a battle and knock him out? No, but Nana did it anyway. Because she's evil and wanted to take Marth on mano-a-mano (AKA, Marth was duel wielding his and Ike's swords, so she wanted a second weapon).
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: They are in charge of delivering it, and enjoy it way too much.
  • Drop the Hammer: Their weapon of choice, like in the games.
  • Licking the Blade: Nana likes to lick her hammer.
  • Pink Girl, Blue Boy: The only difference between them.
  • The Voiceless: Popo manages to speak just a little bit once, Nana never does anything besides giggle.


Played by: Unknown

Used to be Mario's pet until he had to sell him and two other Yoshis to Wario for financial problem, after failing his medical practice. Yoshi seems to have grown aggressive and feral under Wario's watch. Still, when confronted by Mario, as he puts it, Yoshi remembers who the real alpha dog is.

     Kirby, "The Coral Cannibal"
"Only I can lead you to your butcher."

Played by: Matthew Mercer

Forget everything you ever knew about the cute and lovable Nintendo character here, because this Kirby is a walking Homage to Hannibal "The Cannibal" Lecter. He was the monster who raised terror in the Mushroom Kingdom six years before the beginning of the series, until Mario and Luigi managed to stop and imprison him.

  • American Kirby Is Hardcore: Doesn't even begin to describe this.
  • The Corrupter: It's implied that it was his rampage years ago that set the Mushroom Kingdom and Hyrule on the path to the Crapsack World they are now, both by shattering the idealized innocence of their people and the sheer amount of chaos he caused destabilizing the communities.
  • Devour the Dragon: Implied that after the final battle he eats Ness to gain his PSI.
  • The Dreaded: Even years later, just about everyone in the city is scared shitless of him to the point that only the bravest among them call him by name.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Subverted: This Kirby has no redeeming qualities. Still, as a Shout-Out to The Silence of the Lambs, Kirby pretends to have standards and behaves defensively over Peach when another inmate offends her while she was visiting him.
  • Expy: As you might guess, Kirby is reimagined as a Hannial Lecter-esque figure.
  • For the Evulz: His typical motivation for killing his victims. This in fact worked to his advantage during his reign, as it made it extremely difficult for the police to capture due to the fact he murdered indiscriminately.
  • Hannibal Lecture: Given the influences, this was inevitable.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: After all, his power in the games is eating his enemies.
  • It's Personal: For Luigi: he killed Daisy in the backstory.
  • Karma Houdini: Yet another trait he takes from Hannibal Lecter. When we last see him, he has made his way to Nintendo HQ and apparently just killed Masahiro Sakurai prior to calling Luigi.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Guess who's the Big Bad? Ganon reveals Kirby whispered to Mewtwo, manipulating him into creating a psychic army, leading to Ness and Lucas being experimented on and becoming the Butchers.
  • Manipulative Bastard: To a nightmarish degree.
  • Mind Screw:
    • The entire series was just him doing this to Luigi, using everyone else as tools.
    • To the fans: he tricks Luigi into dropping hints that Meta Knight or someone similar might be the butcher. He outright implies it when he says that Meta Knight has come to understand the mind of a killer quite well. He then shows up with Meta Knight's mask, sword and voice in the finale, as he reveals the true Butcher(s) was just his pawn.
  • Not Quite Dead: Well, honestly, anyone who has seen The Silence of the Lambs shouldn't be surprised with this.
  • Retired Monster: Once Peach sentences him to life in jail. Subverted after Mario accidentally lets him out of prison.
  • Slasher Smile: He's good at these.
  • Sugar Apocalypse: He inflicted this on his own homeland. The damage could never be undone. He later tried to do the same to the Mushroom Kingdom and was only captured when Meta Knight stepped in.

    The Four Dons 

King Dedede
"The last thing this city needs is more bloodshed."

Played by: Kirk Diedrich

One of the four mafia dons, and the most likable around the kingdom, having gained popularity among both the poor and the rich. He runs a whorehouse and is somewhat unfriendly when dealing with people, but despite his position, he wishes for the arising crisis to end.

  • Even Evil Has Standards: He may be a Mafia boss, but honestly wishes to put control on the city.
  • Fat Bastard: Of a milder sort. He's definitely a ruthless don, but he does genuinely want the best for the Kingdom.
  • The Hedonist: Even describes himself as such.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: For a crime boss, at least. He doesn't want meaningless slaughter.
  • Slouch of Villainy: Spends most of his scene leaned back in his chair.
  • Southern Gentleman: Speaks with a Southern accent, just like the English dub of his anime equivalent.
  • Stout Strength: He'd have to have it to be able to use his giant mallet as a pointing stick without much visible effort.
  • Throwing the Fight: He reminds Little Mac to do this.
  • True Neutral: He's a sleaze whose only real concern is profits. Bloodshed won't bring that in; so his motives are purely on a profitable standpoint.

"Your kingdom will know its new ruler. And if it doesn't, it will burn."

Played by: Matthew Mercer

Another of the mafia mobs, still resenting the Old Shame that was the fall of Hyrule, mostly due to the fact the kingdom fell due to a bad economy rather than his minions and magic. He plans to take over Mushroom Kingdom, manipulating everyone he can in order to get his way.

  • Blue-and-Orange Morality: Simple example: Ganondorf always wanted to destroy or take over Hyrule; but in this series; he's pissed about it. He reveals that it's because it fell to economic collapse and insider trading rather than the good ol' fashioned ways. He'd have been happier if he (or some other 'barbarian or warlord') was the one who destroyed or conquered it through power rather than something as dishonorable and lame as a market crash.
    Ganondorf: What I failed to do in thousands of years, these little dickless maggots accomplished in two elections...
  • Didn't Think This Through: Ganondorf was Out-Gambitted by Kirby when it was revealed he didn't have full control of the psychic children. By the time Ganondorf realized where exactly he stood in the whole thing, it was too late and the kids had him at their mercy.
  • Enemy Mine: With whoever helps him get what he wants, including Luigi, Zelda and the Game & Watches.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Sort of. Though he's certainly evil, Ganondorf seems to actively look down on Ness and Lucas because they're doing things For the Evulz. That, and he really got fired up talking about Hyrule as a kingdom of chivalry and heroism where men lived and died by the sword. Like most people in the series Ganondorf preferred the Glory Days.
  • Evil Plan: He has a big one, but in the end he gets Outgambitted by Kirby.
  • Evil Sorcerer: His fighting style. He's very good at it.
  • Hannibal Lecture: Though he doesn't do it as often (or as well) as Kirby.
  • The Heavy: He spends most of the series acting as the Big Bad, but then Kirby gets out of prison....
  • Hijacked by Ganon: Well, that sort of was to be expected, wasn't it?
    • Subverted Trope: In the finale, Ganondorf himself gets hijacked by Kirby. Considering he's done it himself enough times to be the trope namer, this is practically a Karmic Death.
  • Kubrick Stare: Does this to Pit.
  • Large Ham: He really likes to talk about his villainy.
  • Manipulative Bastard: To everyone, though Link and Zelda suffer really bad from this.
  • Mind Screw: His favorite tool for making people do what he wants. In the end, Kirby does this to him.
  • My God, What Have I Done? & Villainous Breakdown: When watching Ness and Lucas in action, this is pretty much his reaction. Then they begin to destroy him as well.
  • Take Over the World: He makes no secret of his desire to conquer the Mushroom Kingdom.
  • Then Let Me Be Evil: Although he was already evil, he preferred the days of honorable fights between clear cut heroes and villains over worthwhile stakes, just like Bowser. However, as the Mushroom Kingdom fell apart, Ganondorf decided to become the ruler by any means necessary.
  • You Have Out Lived Your Usefulness: Does this to Link and Zelda in the last episode.


"Those were the good days, weren't they?"

Played by: Jordan Byrne

One of the four mafia dons and Mario's Arch-Enemy, but as he says, days like these are no longer fit for old fashion brawlers like Mario and him, so he has grown apathetic, losing interest in villainy. Now he only cares about enforcing order among the Koopas.

  • Affably Evil: Happily talks with Luigi.
  • Better to Die than Be Killed: He believes this, and puts it into action.
  • Blood Knight: Even though he's a Buddhist he still enjoys a good fight and laments how he misses those days. A sentiment Luigi agrees with.
  • Breath Weapon: He can still breathe fire.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: Well, not so much evil.
  • "Facing the Bullets" One-Liner
    Bowser: "Survive this day, and tell your brother that no one ever made a trophy of the king!"
    • This line is also foreshadowing, as that exact fate happened to the Butchers' other victims, including the other Dons who had died by that point.
  • Incurable Cough of Death: A symptom of having been poisoned by the Game & Watches.
  • Not Me This Time: Despite Bowser having gone spiritual, Mario is totally and utterly convinced that he is behind Peach's kidnapping (and also assumed he was the Cannibal before it was revealed to be Kirby). As it turns out, he had nothing to do with either event.
  • Red Herring: He did not kidnap Peach.
  • Taking You with Me: Takes out many Game & Watches with a suicide bomb.
  • Your Princess Is in Another Castle!: HE delivers this line! One trophy for the scriptwriter, please.


Played by: A Styrofoam Head

One of the four mob bosses who run the Mushroom City's streets—until his untimely death. The police found his internal organs stuffed into a Pokeball. Ouch. Mewtwo was apparently a ruthless mafia don who nonetheless cared for his fellow Pokemon. In the final episode, we learn that in response to Kirby's rampage, Mewtwo tried to create a psychic army by experimenting on orphaned children. Two of his creations, Ness and Lucas, fell under Ganon's thrall.

  • Go Mad from the Revelation: Implied. Kirby is said to have "whispered" to him, and and afterwards he tried to raise the children as part of a "psychic army". It's possible that Kirby used him to set the Butcher event in play in the event that he would be arrested. If so, he's also an Unwitting Pawn.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: Mewtwo trained Ness and Lucas to be psychic assassins, not knowing that Kirby was also influencing them. He ended up murdered by them.
  • Loners Are Freaks: According to Wario, Mewtwo spent almost all of his time in solitude.
    • Mythology Gag: Just like he did in the games you could catch him in; he is in solitude at the bottom of Cerulean Cave.
  • Man of Wealth and Taste: He's shown wearing a white suit/black tie/sunglasses combo (a Shout-Out to a piece of Fan Art the creators took a shine to).
  • Posthumous Character: It's actually his death that shakes up the power balance between the four dons and thus kicks off the plot. Also, the plans he
    • Though, given how the model looks later on when we see him, it would probably be nigh impossible to have an actor in that kind of suit anyway.
  • Psychic Powers: Not that they did him any good.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: Mewtwo is killed early on in the series without any screentime. Turns out he unintentionally created the Butcher, manipulated by Kirby into creating a psychic army, unleashing the monsters that are Ness and Lucas.
  • Wicked Cultured: The series implies this.

     Vagrants and Loose Ends 

Donkey Kong & Diddy Kong

Played by: Damian Beurer (Donkey Kong) and Jenny Newman (Diddy Kong)

They first appeared kidnapping Luigi for Ganondorf, and later as bouncers in Dedede's bar covering the whorehouse. Mario nearly kills Donkey Kong in a rage when he sees the ape with his former girlfriend, Pauline. Diddy tries to kill Mario in the final brawl, but ultimately puts it behind him.

  • Badass Decay: In-universe, Ganondorf believes Donkey Kong, "the original dame-snatcher," has come down with a severe case of it by reducing himself to being a hired thug.
  • Idiot Ball: Donkey turns his back on Mario after knocking him flat with a barrel to celebrate winning the fight. Mario isn't quite finished, and that barrel happened to contain a MegaHammer...
  • Jerkass: They don't seem to be much beyond this here.
  • The Rival: Donkey Kong still holds a harsh relationship with Mario even today.
  • Unknown Rival: After Mario puts Donkey in the hospital, Diddy wants revenge. Mario doesn't know.
  • Why Don't Ya Just Shoot Him?: Diddy actually tries, taking a pot shot at Mario during the final battle. When Mario is holding Luigi's body, Diddy has a clear shot at the back of his head and almost takes it. Pauline convinces him not to..

Fox, Falco & Wolf

"Wave of future! Everyone having one!" (Regarding Landmasters)

Played by: Joel Geist (Fox), Chris Fleischman (Falco), and Mischa Pollack (Wolf)

Three bandits wandering around the dark alleys. They easily scream trouble from a mile away.

Snake & Sonic


Played by: Gregory Niebel (Snake) and Tom Mannino (Sonic)

Both Canon Immigrants appear depicted as homeless and crippled, surviving however they can around dark alleys, and seem to be look after one another in order to survive any hardship that comes their way.

  • Back Stab: Snake attempted this on Ike, in a possible reference to the fact that one of the earliest screenshots of the game showed Snake grabbing Ike by behind.
  • Companion Cube: Snake seems too affective with his box.
  • Handicapped Badass: Being in a wheelchair doesn't seem to stop Sonic from giving his part when the time to fight comes.
  • Shellshocked Veteran: Snake

Captain Olimar
"We must have... sacrifice!"

Played by: Palmer Scott

Known as "End of Days", and damn insane. His actions and lines are the creepiest, his motives incomprehensible. If he's present, expect something nasty to happen.

Mr. Game & Watch

Played by: A Computer

Usually black (but also seen of other colors) 2-dimensional beings seen around the Mushroom Kingdom, usually in minor roles. It's unclear if they're separate beings or if they share a Hive Mind.

  • Combat Tentacles: His octopus final form has razor sharp ones. He racks up a massive bodycount.
  • Eldritch Abomination: The Game & Watches appeared to be harmless. In reality they're the previous inhabitants of what was there before the Mushroom Kingdom, and they've been holding a grudge for a long time...
  • Have We Met?: You'll find him everywhere.

Ness and Lucas


Played by: Tibet Axelrod (Ness) and Matthew Castro (Lucas)

Two little kids seen around the alley at one point, serving as Luigi's inspiration for going on fighting.

The Butcher

Ness and Lucas are revealed to actually be the butchers, endowed with Psychic Powers from Mewtwo's experiments and taken in by Ganondorf—and, later, Kirby. They are able to kill by using their powers to rip the organs right out of their victim's bodies (also using a snake and baseball bat for more damage) and you don't even want to know what they do to the bodies afterward.

  • Awesome Mc Coolname: Not in-universe, but Ness's actor is named Tibet Axelrod, how awesome is he gonna be.
  • Body Horror: Their psychic aura causes Ganondorf to start bleeding from his eyes and ears. Later, Lucas rips Pit's wings off!
  • Batter Up!: Ness carries his trademark baseball bat around.
  • Devour the Dragon: It's implied that Kirby does this to Ness.
  • The Dog Was the Mastermind: Who would've thought those two kids we saw for a few seconds would turn out to be the Butcher?
  • Hell Is That Noise: The sound that Ness' bat being dragged across the ground makes. And the static noise that their psychic aura makes.
  • Never Found the Body: Although it's very heavily implied that Kirby ate Ness, Lucas simply vanishes after the building blows up.
  • People Puppets: Just see what they do with Peach's corpse.
  • Psychic Powers: Specifically of the Mind over Matter kind. Unsurprisingly, they use these on their victims.
  • Tyke Bomb: They're not even teenagers yet, and they've been being trained by some combination of Mewtwo, Ganondorf and Kirby for quite some time.
  • The Voiceless: They have no speaking lines, only giggles. It's rather sweet... at least, the first time. The second time it's pure menace.

"Fuck it, we'll do it live!"

Played by: Jordan Krain

The popular Koopa anchorman of Channel 8 News, Lakitu hasn't given up his ties to the mafia. He uses his position to influence public opinion against the Mario Brothers.


    Cameos and minor characters 


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