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Characters / The Star War Gatherings

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Characters from The Star War Gatherings, including The Novelty Desire and ''The Counterattack Collection.

Backstroke of the West has its own page, which can be viewed here.

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Characters Introduced In The Novelty Desire

    Bong Day 

Bong Day / See / Princess Leah / Princess Leia / Reiah / Liya / Elijah / The Imperial Senate / Rhea / Ria / Li Asia / Lia / Levine / Oro O'Ghanner / Leah O'Garner
"I am a mysterious magician, I am a great lighter."
Played by: Aidan Barton (baby), Carrie Fisher (adult) (stock footage)
Originally called: Leia Organa

The daughter of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin sister of Gospel of Luke (aka See Me). She was separated from her brother as a baby and adopted by Senator to hide her from Reaching the West of Reaches. Reach the West claims her as his ex.

  • Actually a Doombot: During the escape from the First Order's boats, she says this time she was a robot, implying she left a decoy to trick the First Order into believing she perished with the base.
  • Adaptational Villainy: Is now a "black imperial agent fuck" who has been spying on the Rebellion, although she makes a Heel–Face Turn and joins Gospel and company.
  • Beyond the Impossible: Managed to give birth to Kellog despite being a man in this continuity.
  • Dub Name Change: As her brother's name was misinterpreted as "look" by the translator of Backstroke of the West, her name seems to have been misinterpreted as "leer."
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady: Leah is actually male, as Hopeless Situation Return reveals.
  • Happily Adopted: See gets adopted by Senator, although it's left a little ambiguous as to whether he just agreed to this so that Blow the Skin would be thrown in as well.
  • Heel–Face Turn: In The Novelty Desire, despite starting off as an Imperial agent, she winds up joining the Rebellion out of mistreatment by Reach the West. Crosses into High-Heel–Face Turn by being the only female Imperial mook shown.
  • Honey Trap: Implied to be her main modus operandi, with her being a "black imperial agent fuck" and all.
  • Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Why she properly joins the Rebellion.
  • I Am the Noun: Claims to be the Imperial Senate, rather than just a member of it. (Ironic, given that the opposite thing happened to one of Palpatine/The D's lines.)
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: 'Bong Day' was only mentioned by Blow the Skin in The Novelty Desire and not in subsequent dubs. She or he is known by other names, most predominantly 'Princess Leah.'
  • Raised as the Opposite Gender: She's portrayed as a princess all throughout the series even after Hopeless Situation Return reveals she's actually male.
  • Related in the Adaptation: She might know the Good Elephant, as she yells about the day after the fair to Gospel.
  • Theme Twin Naming: Her original name is See, and her brother's is See Me. Kind of poetic if one thinks about it.
  • The Stoner: Being named "Bong Day" and calling herself "a great lighter" strongly imply that she counts as one.
  • Surprise Incest: As remarked by Reaching The West Of Reaches - she was his ex.

    This With In 

This With In / Captain Antilles
"We do not spread disease."
Played by: Rohan Nichol (Backstroke of the West), Peter Geddis (The Novelty Desire), Tim Beckmann (Grand Theft Auto) (stock footage)
Originally called: Captain Antilles

    Gospel of Luke 

Gospel of Luke / See Me / Who / The Main Road / Master Gospel Gospel / Peter / Luke Skywalker /The Empress of Tokyo / No Need / Samurai Master Lucas Godwalker / Look Skywalker / The Way To Increase Teachers / Luke Day Trip
"Coming soon. What is the difference between a father and a son?"
Played by: Aidan Barton (baby), Mark Hamill (adult) (stock footage)
Originally called: Luke Skywalker

The son of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin brother of Bong Day (aka See). He was separated from his sister as a baby and raised in Africa by his aunt and uncle, hidden from Reaching the West of Reaches.

  • Adaptational Nice Guy: A minor case. In The Final Hopeless Situation he tells Swiss to do what she thinks is impossible, as opposed to the original movie, where he tries to stop her by telling her that her plan won't go the way she thinks.
  • Astrologer: Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder refers to him as "The Master of Astrology."
  • Authority in Name Only: Is referred to as "Mr. President", despite only being a farmworker. Perhaps his farm is legally a company?
  • Bifauxnen: Looks like a young man, but is actually female.
  • Catchphrase: Says "Do not want" more than any other character. Given that both of his parents said it in Backstroke of the West, it might actually be hereditary.
  • Disabled in the Adaptation: Or rather, Disabled Earlier in the Adaptation. Following the lightsaber practice session in The Novelty Desire, Ratio proudly declares that Gospel has lost his first foot.
  • Dub Name Change: Luke's name was apparently misinterpreted by the translator as "look" (in the way that a person might say "look at me!"), resulting in the name he has in Backstroke of the West.
  • Eunuchs Are Evil: A subversion. He lacks a package, which he envies Thoreau for. However, he's always on the side of the Rebellion. His worst moment is refusing to train Swiss or help her redeem Kellogg, and even then he relents and uses the Wish Power to project himself on Crait to distract Kellogg so the Resistance can escape. Subverted even further in Hopeless Situation Return, as it turns out that Gospel is female.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: Calls himself "a failed terminator" in The Counterattack Collection.
  • I Have Many Names: Just like Allah Gold.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: Definitely. Gospel even has a beard in Final Hopeless Situation.
  • Love at First Sight:
    Gospel of Luke: Who is she? She is very sex appeal.
    • He may also have feelings for Eyebrows/Swiss, given that his immediate reaction to meeting her is calling her his wife. It's also possible that he believes Swiss has feelings for him, but he cannot return them.
    Gospel Of Luke: I cannot like her as needed.
  • Meaningful Name: His father was named Allah, while he is Gospel of Luke, two Abrahamic concepts.
  • Our Zombies Are Different: Leah tells him that he died when she was very young.
  • Raised as the Opposite Gender: He was raised as a boy up until adulthood, despite his lack of male genitalia. Hopeless Situation Return reveals that he's always been a girl.
  • Theme Twin Naming: His original name is See Me, and his sister's is See.
  • Unexplained Recovery: According to Bong Day, she died when he was very young. This does nothing to slow her down.

    Uncle Owen 

Uncle Owen
"Now I will go to school next year."
Played by: Joel Edgerton, Phil Brown (stock footage)
Voiced by: Archie Macmillan
Originally called: Owen Lars

  • Extreme Omnivore: Despite his claims of needing a translator, he says he only bought Blow the Skin and R2 so he could eat them.

    Aunt Voru 

Aunt Voru / Aunt Sefrou
"Gospel of Luke the gospel of Luke!"
Played by: Bonnie Piesse, Shelagh Fraser (stock footage)
Originally called: Beru Lars

    Mr. Thoreau 

Mr. Luck Thoreau / Chinese / Korea / Hunt / Han Cable Luo
"Our passengers must be hotter than I imagined."
Played by: Alden Ehrenreich, Harrison Ford (stock footage)
Originally called: Han Solo

Captain of the Falcon Millennium, a boastful starship pilot hired by Ratio Tile to transport himself, Gospel and the robots to Alderaan. His copilot is Drag Along.

  • Ambiguously Bi: In The Novelty Desire, he asks Gospel of Luke "Do you think guys like me?" Gospel shuts down the discussion with a curt "Do not want!"
  • Busman's Holiday: His vacation on Hose is disrupted when the Empire invades.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Sarcastically asks an unconscious Gospel of Luke for an autograph while rescuing him in The Counterattack Collection. He somehow manages to make the Roman numeral "XIV" sound sarcastic.
  • Do Wrong, Right: Tells his son to trust Snooker/Snoopy because he's abusing his power.
  • Hollywood Atheist: Refers to Luke as "Gospel crazy" to Drag Along. Possibly subverted in Flies Are A Sober Force, where he proclaims his knowledge of the Gospel.
  • Last-Name Basis: No one ever calls him by his first name, even after he reveals it in The Novelty Desire.
  • Odd Friendship: May have one with Snooker/Snoopy, given the fact that he urges his son to trust the former. However, he also tells him that Snoopy is abusing his power
  • Related in the Adaptation: Is the child of Java in this version.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: His immediate reaction to the presence of mynocks on the Falcon Millenium is to attempt to abandon the ship.
  • The Mentally Disturbed: Admits that he suffers from depression in Ranger Soro.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: In The Counterattack Collection, he's completely indifferent to the rebels' cause, preferring to take a vacation instead of helping them with the war effort. He also acts disgusted by Bong Day and taunts her in the hallway. On board the Falcon, he also threatens to have Blow the Skin terminated if he doesn't shut up. He even calls himself a villain to Bong Day when they're on the Falcon.
    • He agrees to do "nothing" to help his son in Flies Are A Sober Force. He even plans to abandon him when he's clearly under duress.

    Drag Along 

Drag Along / Vaca / Tsui / Chui / Baca / Chubaka / Chewie / Chuy / Chevrolet / Chevron / W
Played by: Peter Mayhew, Joonas Suotamo (stock footage)
Originally called: Chewbacca

An alien warrior serving under Particularly Reach the Master. He helps the Hopeless Situation Master get to an airship so he can leave the planet and combat The D.

    General Dodonna 

General Dodonna
"Then you can fold, it is a person's strength."
Played by: Alex McCrindle (stock footage)
Originally called: General Dodonna


"Repeated smooth sleeves."
Played by: Denis Lawson (stock footage)
Voiced by: Jeffrey Foley
Originally called: Wedge Antilles


"This R2 unit has a crime motive. example."
Originally called: R5-D4


Biggs / Bix
"Jazz, who bitch pilots?"
Played by: Garrick Hagon (stock footage)
Originally called: Biggs Darklighter

    Red Leader 

Red Leader
"Reports in all aspects."
Played by: Drewe Henley (stock footage)
Originally called: Garven Dreis

  • Skewed Priorities: As in the image to the right, he does order a fellow pilot to stop talking, but only in order to speed up the offensive music.


"Gold is the leader."
Played by: Angus MacInnes (stock footage)
Voiced by: Archie Macmillan
Originally called: Dutch Vander

  • One-Steve Limit: Gold Leader is called Jinling, as is someone from Hopeless Situation Return who's told to reproduce.


Governor Darkin / Tarkin
"We did landline the local system terrorized."
Played by: Guy Henry, Peter Cushing (stock footage)
Originally called: Wilhuff Tarkin

  • Meta Guy: He seems to have a high level of Medium Awareness. In The Novelty Desire, he points out that the argument his allies are having on the Station Wagon makes no sense. In Reply is Minus, he invokes Pandering to the Base by explaining to Governor Pryce that a particular plot development was done to "give audience the treat".
  • No-Respect Guy: At one point in Reply is Minus, Pryce bluntly calls him an idiot, and in The Novelty Desire Tagge tells him to get banged. Despite being of higher rank than them, he just sits there and takes it.
  • Poke the Poodle: He announces during a meeting that he's making threatening phone calls to local systems.

    General Tagge 

General Tagge
"Rebel Alliance has good arms."
Played by: Don Henderson (stock footage)
Originally called: General Tagge

    Admiral Motti 

Admiral Motti
"This way your medicine men, we do not surprise Lord Vader."
Played by: Richard LeParmentier (stock footage)
Voiced by: Archie Macmillan.
Originally called: Admiral Motti

  • Drugs Are Bad: Inverted. During his discussion with Vader, he suggests himself and his aides to medicate themselves in order to improve their dialectics.


Java 7 / Java 5 / Advanced Java
"As long as my child, you let me down."
Voiced by: Archie Macmillan
Originally called: Jabba the Hutt


"a day after the fair!"
Voiced by: Archie Macmillan.
Originally called: Greedo

Characters Introduced in The Counterattack Collection and Hopeless Situation Return

    Lang California 

Lang California / Carly / Lanta / LAN·card Swiss SIM / Carrisin / Rondo / Rando / Lando Cary Louisiana /Ran'o
"You look absolutely bright."
Played by: Donald Glover, Billy Dee Williams (stock footage)
Voiced by: Eli Harris
Originally called: Lando Calrissian
An old friend of Mr. Thoreau, California is in charge of the "Empire of Love", but claims to be merely a factory manager.
  • Cryptic Background Reference: Mentions briefly at the end of The Counterattack Collection that he was once a "special person" named Jabba Kazuna.
  • Gender-Blender Name: Carly.
  • Theme Naming: His last name is translated as two different U.S. states: Lang California and Lando Cary Louisiana.
  • The Pornomancer: Asks how he can "Do Chewbacca" right to his face. He also runs an "Empire of Love", and asks his guests "What is your appetite for the best way to enjoy yourself?"
  • Really Gets Around: Most likely part of being in charge of an "Empire of Love".
  • Working-Class Hero: Whereas in the original film he was the governor of Cloud City, here he's apparently the manager of a factory.

    Pakistan Fee Special 

Pakistan Fee Special
"If not, where do you live? I'll send him a lot of things."
Played by: Jeremy Bulloch, Daniel Logan, Temuera Morrison (stock footage)
Originally called: Boba Fett

  • The Sleepless: Implied. Reach the West makes a point of singling him out, saying "No, you can not collapse."


"There are thousands of wild geese on the trail."
Played by: Michael Sheard (stock footage)
Originally called: Admiral Kendal Ozzel

Admiral Ozzel is - if Reach the West is to be believed - "like a clumsy man." This Imperial officer is argumentative and overconfident, and generally refuses to listen to any advice, regardless of where in the command-chain it comes from. He is eventually executed by Reach the West for his many failures.

    The Head of the Medical Group 

The Head of the Medical Group / Admiral
"Thank You Lord Gift."
Played by: Kenneth Colley (stock footage)
Originally called: Firmus Piett

A competent and loyal officer on the Executor who gets promoted as commander of the operation after Ozzel is choked to death.

  • Character Death: Killed as a Rebel/Union boat crashes into his boat.
  • Cowardly Lion: Has that face in The Counterattack Collection as he serves under Lord Bader.
  • Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: He's called "The Head of the Medical Group" in The Counterattack Collection, but in that movie and Hopeless Situation Return, there's never a scene where he commands medical operations.
  • You Are in Command Now: Bader immediately puts him in command after choking Ozzel.

    Lord Vader 

Lord Vader
Played by: Michael Pennington (stock footage)
Originally called: Moff Jerjerrod

  • Ambiguous Situation: Either he just happens to have the same name as Reach the West, or he's attempting to impersonate Reach the West while standing right in front of him. Maybe it is some kind of watchword he and Reach the West share?
  • One-Steve Limit: Is also called Lord Vader, a name shared with Reach The West/Lord Bader.


"And taking backup client jazz master chamber."
Originally called: EV-9D9

  • Villainous Crush: Expresses awe at Blow the Skin's looks. He even demands that she join his jazz band.

Characters Introduced in Ghost The Threat and The Duplicate Offensive

    Kui Tribute 

Kui Tribute / Qui-Gon
"You fuck my young apprentice, a lot to learn."
Played by: Liam Neeson (stock footage)
Originally called: Qui-Gon Jinn

A Hopeless Situation Master sent from Earth to deal with the crises on South Korea. Is also Ratio Tile's teacher, and the one to discover The Peaceful Is Willing To's potential. He is unfortunately killed by The Main West at the end of Ghost The Threat, but it's later implied that he has managed to live on in "another world".

  • Ambadassador: He and Ratio Tile are the best ones there are, in his own humble opinion.
  • Ambiguously Human: Although he looks human, he claims to be a MIDI chlorian. Nothing weird by the standards of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, though.
  • Disabled in the Adaptation: Unlike his canonical counterpart, whose eyesight worked just fine, he makes a point of letting the young Allah Gold know that he can no longer see.
  • Handicapped Badass: He reveals to Allah Gold at dinner that he's blind, though his lack of vision does absolutely nothing to hinder his prowess as a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
  • Human Aliens: He looks indistinguishable from a normal human, despite possibly being a MIDI chlorian.
  • Jive Turkey: Uses this to talk down to Bottle when they first meet up.
    "I said. You do not intelligent the speak."
  • Misery Builds Character: He believes it, claiming that "Hurt provide benefits to us."
  • Named by the Adaptation: Zig-Zagged Trope. Backstroke of the West literally cut out the only mention of his name, leading to Ratio Tile mouthing it silently in the dub. The fan prequel Ghost The Threat restores his original name.
  • Napoleon Delusion: Downplayed Trope. He briefly believes himself to be the queen (of South Korea, presumably) after running and then having a big sword fight in the middle of the hot desert, but he gets over it before he has time to mention it to anyone.
  • Skewed Priorities: Takes a detour from an important mission just to get tattoos.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: Is implied to have had one with Ratio Tile. At the very least, he taught him the art of fucking (and possibly swearing, too). It might also have been what Ratio meant when he said that he "did" Allah Gold's teacher during the latter's youth.
  • Tomato in the Mirror: While in Africa, he realizes that he is a "MIDI chlorian."


Bottle / Soldiers Augsburg
"Bottle ice paragraph. Mesa your humble servant."
Played by: Ahmed Best (stock footage)
Originally called: Jar Jar Binks

  • The Alcoholic: He's nicknamed Bottle and clearly looks a bit off through the entire film.
  • Innocently Insensitive: He asks The Plum Of if her name is Hussein — which is a male name. She doesn't seem to mind.
  • Likes Older Women: In his words, he's "DOEN [sic] a housewife!"

    Climbing nak 

Climbing nak
At least his name no longer sounds like "pancake."
Played by: Hugh Quarshie (stock footage)
Originally called: Captain Panaka

  • Captain Obvious: When Ray Gun plans to invade South Korea and cuts off all external communication, he tells The Plum Of "This is a situation, Your Highness."

    Mother of Gold 

Mother of Gold
"You have brought shame."
Played by: Pernilla August (stock footage)
Originally called: Shmi Skywalker

  • Adaptational Jerkass: While Shmi was understandably worried about Anakin competing in something as dangerous as a podrace, she's nonetheless proud of him when he wins the race. Mother of Gold, on the other hand, bluntly tells Allah Gold that he has brought shame with his victory.
  • Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Rather than happy, she's inexplicably ashamed of Gold's victory in the race, implying she considers the whole thing a disgraceful pastime for Gold to partake in.
  • I Have No Son!: Inverted. Her son disowns her when he leaves Africa, saying "I have no mother. I promise." This is partly because she's ashamed of him for winning the Ford race.
  • Missing Mom: Allah Gold tells The Plum Of that the Good Elephant lost her.


"Not my very blame. Sebulba flashed me with his hole."
Originally called: Sebulba

An alien Ford Racer pilot and one of The Peaceful Is Willing To's biggest rivals. He seems to be quite a Jerkass.

    God Hammer 

The Main West / God Hammer / Mal / Lord Mall
"What's up?"
Played By: Ray Park (stock footage)
Originally called: Darth Maul

A Big sent to Africa by the West Emperor to hunt down the Plum Of and the two Hopeless Situations protecting her. Later, he partakes in the battle of South Korea, where he kills Qui-Gon and seemingly dies by Ratio Tile's hand.

    Las Vegas Cliegg 

Las Vegas Cliegg
Must say, 'Las Vegas Cliegg' is a pretty cool name.
Played by: Jack Thompson (stock footage)
Originally called: Cliegg Lars

  • Dub Name Change: Downplayed. He gets to keep his first name, but its becomes his last name while his first name is changed to Las Vegas. Unless that’s a nickname.
  • The Gambling Addict: Judging by his nickname.


"Hello, Dexamethasone."
Originally called: Dexter Jettster

  • Disability Superpower: He can identify Django's toxic dart despite being blind.
  • Disabled in the Adaptation: In canon, there was nothing to indicate that Dex had any problems with his sight. Dexamethasone, on the other hand, straight up tells Ratio Tile that he can no longer see.

    Django Pets 

Django Pets / Taunus Pulling (To One Bodgen)
"I was called Taunus pulling to one Bogden hiring satellites."
Played by: Temuera Morrison (stock footage)
Originally called: Jango Fett

A bounty hunter, and the father of Pakistan Fee Special.

  • Ambiguous Syntax: It's unclear whether his job was hiring satellites when his name was Taunus Pulling To One Bogden, or a satellite hirer named Bogden nicknamed him Taunus Pulling.
  • Awesomeness by Analysis: His ability to "note" allows him to navigate an asteroid field.
  • Boxed Crook: Ratio Tile tries to make him go along with a scheme against Obi-Wan, which involves getting close to him for weeks. The conversation then turns to details about his previous job, suggesting Ratio Tile is trying to blackmail him with that information.
  • Given Name Reveal: Tells Ratio Tile what his old name was in a dramatic way.
  • Honey Trap: Implied to be the job Ratio Tile wants him to do with Obi-Wan.
  • No-Respect Guy: Django isn't well-thought of by the Caminoans, who disparagingly refer to him as a "so-called bounty hunter." What we see of his fighting ability sharply contradicts this. However, if we consider that the Caminoans breed entire armies, maybe they simply don't believe a single soldier can serve a purpose regardless how badass he is.
  • Unfortunate Names: Going by the surname "Pets" is possibly the reason why the Caminoans consider him unworthy of being a bounty hunter, as he otherwise proves to be a skilled fighter.



Originally called: Sifo-Dyas

  • Adaptation Name Change: Possibly the most bewildering one in the whole series.
  • The Ghost: Ratio Tile talks of him as if he was alive, unlike the real movie where he was a Posthumous Character, but he still doesn't show up.
  • One-Steve Limit: Don't confuse him with Ratio Tile, who was called Obi-Wan in the original franchise. He's a different character.
  • Spared by the Adaptation: He is still alive in this version, as Ratio Tile orders Django to get close to him over the next few weeks. This never goes anywhere, as Django won't follow his script and makes a run for it with his son.

Characters Introduced in Flies Are A Sober Force, The Final Hopeless Situation and The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows


Eyebrows / Swiss / Thunder / Wait / Shooting Line / FireWire / Ray Iraq / Lei
"I am Jedi Wushi."
Played by: Daisy Ridley (stock footage)
Originally called: Rey


Thoreau Jr. / Kellogg / Classes / Cairo / Bansoro / Carlo / Solomon class / Ronaldo / London Kellogg / Kellogg-Jan / Padin / John R. Jenkello / Karen / Book
"Black face. This is our nature."
Played by: Adam Driver (stock footage)
Originally called: Kylo Ren
The son of Thoreau and Leah (somehow), he is the apprentice of Snooker and the leader of the Regime, who want to eliminate sex.
  • Adaptational Wimp: Kylo in canon is a moderately trained lightsaber wielder and only lost to Rey due to outside factors crippling him; Kellogg lost to Swiss even though she never grabbed a lightsaber, simply by hitting himself with his own lightsaber, although that could just have been Snooker gaslighting him.
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: He's Gospel's nephew and Reach The West's grandson, so of course he gets to drop at least one "Do not want!" in The Final Hopeless Situation.
  • Brutal Honesty: Tells Wait through their Wish Power Bond that her parents abandoned her way earlier than he does in canon.
  • Cannot Talk to Women: Although, in his own words, he has heard a lot about them.
  • Celibate Hero: Inverted. He's the supreme readers of the Regime, but gets mad at Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder for not following the Hopeless Situation standards.
    Kellogg: You are jedi... But you keep cumming other.
  • Death Seeker: He abruptly tells Eyebrows that she has to kill him during her interrogation.
  • Epic Fail: He lost to Swiss not because she beat him in a lightsaber duel, but because he beat himself with his own lightsaber and knocked himself unconscious.
  • Evil Eyebrows: His are noticeable enough that Supreme Readers Snooker points them out.
  • Gender-Blender Name: The subtitles refer to him as Karen a few times in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
  • Invisibility: Might have this, as Eyebrows comments to Gospel that his body is no longer visible.
  • Just Following Orders: Tells Mr. Thoreau that he was assigned. However, he also states that he wants the pain of freedom.
  • Meaningful Name: He leads the Regime, which wants to eliminate sex, and carries the name of John Harvey Kellogg, a real life American doctor (yep, the one of the corn flakes) who endorsed male circumcision, without anesthetics even, as a mean to eliminate masturbation.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Urges Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder to do Blackface with him multiple times.
  • Shipper on Deck: After being berated by Snooker for losing to Swiss via hitting himself with his own sword and then destroying his helmet, he claims that "he's ready to ship", meaning it's either this trope or he also works at a delivery company.
  • The Unintelligible: Just like in the original film, Marry/Poe has a hard time understanding him. Ironically, he now mentions this in a completely different sentence.
  • Unexplained Recovery: According to Kellogg himself, he was killed along with his twin son. This does nothing to slow him down.

    Feet of People 

Feet of People / Pin / Finland / Needle / Finnish Syrians
"What? No, no, no. I want to destroy you."
Played by: John Boyega (stock footage)
Originally called: Finn

  • Captain Obvious: Shortly after meeting Jenner, he informs her that "You are you."
  • Disabled in the Adaptation: Ross instructs him to turn on his machine foot during the battle of Crait, implying that unlike his canonical counterpart, Feet of People is an amputee.
  • Has a Type: Upon meeting Ross for the first time, he tells her that he "can not resist a hero."
  • Heel–Face Revolving Door: Whether or not he's on Marry's side or the First Order's seems to vary from moment to moment.
  • I'll Kill You!: He takes Marry aside to tell him he wants to destroy him, though he refrains from actually following through on the threat.
  • Lame Comeback: While it's nowhere near the level of Space General calling Allah Gold a smelly boy, his reaction to Fasma calling him a system of pests is simply to tell her "Do not speak nonsense, intelligent mind."
  • Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Notes that "Everything here is very ridiculous."
  • The Starscream: Shortly after defecting, he declares that he and Marry can be the First Order.


Marry / Wave / Daimlun / Slope / El Paso / Singapore
"I'm a bit unlucky in Jimmy."
Played by: Oscar Isaac (stock footage)
Originally called: Poe Dameron
An IRA terrorist that has joined up with the Resistance.
  • Anti-Hero: Apparently works for the IRA, yet is with the heroes in the film.
  • Depopulation Bomb: Anguishly announces that he has let "everyone be eliminated" as that was a way to save the world.
  • The Fatalist: Shortly before starting their mission to Ike's World Gaelic, he tells the members of the rebellion that "for everyone, we are lost."
  • Flat "What": His response to Holdo's speech is to ask his robot "What is that?"
  • Honest Corporate Executive: He's apparently on the Resistance Board of Directors.
  • The Oldest Profession: His previous job apparently consisted of being a "hot girl."
  • Only Sane Man: He's one of the few characters that realizes how weird everything around him is while discussing Holdo's plans. However, he doesn't show this side of himself again.
  • Porn Stash: He apparently has one which may or may not include pictures of Finland. He gets annoyed with BB-8 when he thinks the robot burnt it all.
  • Stepford Smiler: May be one, since he mentions that the attack on Jiajia's boat is sad.
  • The Storyteller: Tells Thoreau Jr. that he wants to tell him a story once he's done telling his.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Is on the heroes' side, yet he seems to be an IRA terrorist.

    Supreme Readers Snooker 

Supreme Readers Snooker / Snoopy / Snooker Supremo / Top Leadership / Sri Lanka Knox
"Hey, you hurt you."
Played by: Andy Serkis (stock footage)
Originally called: Supreme Leader Snoke
The Supreme Readers of the Regime, Snooker is Kellogg’s master and revealed to be Speaker D’s puppet.


Pictured: BB-8 Zhu Microblogging
Originally called: BB-8

    Hussein Hess 

General Hux / Hussein Hess / The army of Herkus
"The regime ended intolerance!"
Played by: Domhnall Gleeson (stock footage)
Originally called: General Hux

"You are a system of pests"
Played by: Gwendoline Christie (stock footage)
Originally called: Captain Phasma


Maas / Maz
"And now, I'll give you a call."
Played by: Lupita Nyong'o (stock footage)
Originally called: Maz Kanata

  • Skewed Priorities: When everyone is worried about finding the West Emperor, she apparently gets bored and decides to go on an egg hunt instead.


Ross / Rose
Played by: Kelly Marie Tran (stock footage)
Originally called: Rose Tico


"I talk about condition."
Played by: Benicio del Toro (stock footage)
Originally called: DJ

  • Adaptational Jerkass: The original was implied to be just a scoundrel who stole to make a living in his daily life; his decision to betray the Resistance, while morally questionable, was his only way to save himself at the time, and he was visibly not proud of it. This version of him, meanwhile, is a ruthless businessman who profits from slavery and other shady activities, and he openly states he goes around screwing up people without provocation, hinting he was thinking on selling Feet and Ross all the time.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Has no problem revealing he goes around selling good people as slaves.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: Implied to have been one in any case. He talks about exporting citrus fruit (possibly a parallel to the United Fruit Company) and has dabbled in the slave trade.
  • The Don: Possibly.
  • Evil Cripple: A slaver and powerful businessman who claims to suffer from an unspecified medical condition. He might be referring to the original character's stutter, only he doesn't show it this time.
  • Evil, Inc.: He runs either one or possibly a criminal syndicate that uses a legitimate fruit company as a front.
  • Greed: More so than the original. As far as we know, he's powerful enough to be able to manage his citrus fruit business in prison, and also seems interested in expanding to oil drilling. Clearly he's got all the money in the world and yet still goes as far as to betray allies and sell people into slavery.
  • Might as Well Not Be in Prison at All: While in prison he talks about blocking his fruit exports in present-tense, implying he's still running his fruit company even behind bars.
  • Mistaken For Royalty: By the First Order.
  • The Rich Want to Be Richer: By his own admission, he is already a wealthy businessman, yet he's capable of horrible things only to gain even more money.
  • Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Apparently sold 'a good man' into slavery.
  • Token Evil Teammate: For the duration of the time he's helping out Finland and Ross, seeing as he openly admits to selling people into slavery even before he betrays them.

    Captain Jiajia Di 

Captain Jiajia Di
"Install automatic guns?"
Played by: Mark Lewis Jones (stock footage)
Originally called: Captain Moden Canady

The Captain of a fearless boat in the First Order.

  • Skewed Priorities: He asks his crew if they can install automatic guns... during the Resistance's attack on his ship.
  • Race Lift: Has a Chinese name despite otherwise looking Caucasian.


"I think you are lonely single."
Played by: Keri Russell (stock footage)
Originally called: Zorii Bliss

  • Evil Colonialist: Tells Marry that she wants to colonize when she leaves the planet Jimmy.


"I own all the children."
Played by: Naomi Acker (stock footage)
Originally called: Jannah
A child slaver who joins up with the Resistance, she takes an interest in Feet.
  • Adaptational Villainy: In sharp contrast to her canonical counterpart, who defected from the First Order after refusing to execute innocent people, she happily admits to having owning child slaves.
  • Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Tells Feet of People that she was recruited just because she owns all the children.
  • Time for Plan B: When the rebellion is being overpowered by the Western fleet, she announces her plan B, which apparently consists of "touching her hair."
  • Token Evil Teammate: Even moreso than an IRA terrorist like Marry, what with being a child slaver who nonetheless joins forces with the Resistance.


"I will increase their sources of funding."
Played by: Richard E. Grant (stock footage)
Originally called: Allegiant General Pryde

Characters Introduced in Grand Theft Auto

    Piano Prince 

Piano Prince
"Give me only pain."
Played by: Felicity Jones (stock footage)
Originally called: Jyn Erso

    Cassian Andorra 

Cassian Andorra
"There is nothing wrong with it."
Played by: Diego Luna (stock footage)
Originally called: Cassian Andor

  • Mirror Character: To Piano, regarding their relative ruthlessness and amorality in the name of fighting and surviving the Empire. He even straight-up tells her that they're the same before they head to Scarlett.

    Quincy Kunnick 

Quincy Kunnick
"I seem to have heard this sentence."
Played by: Ben Mendelsohn (stock footage)
Originally called: Orson Krennic

  • Adaptational Nationality: Quincy is apparently Australian, as he's mentioned as being the secretary of Queensland. He also uses some Australian vernacular. Fittingly, he's played by an Australian actor.
  • Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Wants to use the Dead Star to destroy... a satellite.
  • Well-Intentioned Extremist: Claims to want to bring peace and security to the Milky Way.

    Old K 

Old K
"Congratulations. You are being objects including sex workers."
Played by: CGI (stock footage)
Originally called: K-2S0

    Bodhi Luke 

Bodhi Luke
"A bit narrow, but we can squeeze a squeeze."
Played by: Riz Ahmed (stock footage)
Originally called: Bodhi Rook

    Xi Lu Yingwei 

Xi Lu Yingwei
"Pay the money to know the answer."
Played by: Donnie Yen (stock footage)
Originally called: Chirrut Imwe

  • Adaptational Jerkass: The original Chirrut was a benevolent mystic who aided the heroes voluntarily, while here he's just seeking to make a buck.
  • Only in It for the Money: Implied. He demands money from Piano to give her an answer.

    Bazma Blessed 

Bazma Blessed
"He will open the door in prayer."
Played by: Jiang Wen (stock footage)
Originally called: Baze Malbus

  • You Are Too Late: Comments that "[he] feels quite late." It's not specified for what though, as the sentence ends there.


Gregory / Sophie / Soglila / Sorrera / Sogrel / Sogelui / Soglina / Sogui Rui / Guarrera / Guerui La / Soglilla
"I do not have one day..."
Played by: Forest Whitaker (stock footage)
Originally called: Saw Gerrera

    Galen Ursor 

Galen Ursor
"My brains are not as good as before."
Played by: Mads Mikkelsen (stock footage)
Originally called: Galen Erso

Characters introduced in Ranger Soro

    Chi La 

Chi La / Qi
"Han we joust."
Played by: Emilia Clarke (stock footage)
Originally called: Qi'ra

    Baker Beckett 

Baker Beckett
"A fly went on in our heads."
Played by: Woody Harrelson (stock footage)
Originally called: Tobias Beckett

    Kleinden Worth 

Kleinden Worth / Drayden Voss / Durden / de Wright
"If you have an accident, I will be sad and dead."
Played by: Paul Bettany (stock footage)
Originally called: Dryden Vos

  • Obliviously Evil: He's very surprised upon being informed that he's started some fire.
  • Living Emotional Crutch: He reveals that he's unable to break his relationship with Chi La and basically admits that he would commit suicide if she ever had an accident.


"I'm really excited to take this live."
Played by: Phoebe Waller-Bridge (stock footage)
Originally called: L3-37

Characters Introduced in The Mendelssohn


Mendel / Jilgim
"The weapon is a gift of my religion."
Played by: Pedro Pascal (stock footage)
Originally called: Din Djarin/The Mandalorian

A Mendelssohn who worked previously as a designer and now is an accountant who fishes for pleasure and hosts a radio show. Finds The Boy on one of his travels and decides to cultivate it.

  • Adaptational Skill: Apparently worked/works as a designer, accountant, fisherman, and radio host according to different people.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Is apparently Graph Loader's wife.
  • Ambiguous Gender: While he's referred to as male most of the time, Graph Loader refers to him as his wife at one point. Could count as Samus Is a Girl if Mendel is indeed female.
  • Captain Obvious: When the Armorer praises his radio show, Mendel replies "That would be a compliment."
  • Composite Character: The final line of Greenhouses seems to imply that he is in truth The. This could just be an aversion of the One-Steve Limit, though.
  • Race Lift: Despite being played by a Chilean-American actor, he admits to being white in Greenhouses.
  • Related in the Adaptation: Either The Boy or Kara Kara is his sister.
    • Since Kara Kara mentions that they "grew up together", the most logical reasoning would be that Omera was referring to her.
  • The Stoner: Greenhouses sees Mendel outright tell Omera that he's high, though he seemingly manages to kick the habit once all is said and done.

    The Boy 

The Boy
"Hi! Cut it out."
Played by: CGI (stock footage)
Originally called: The Child/Grogu

  • Plant Person: A Blanket suggests to Mendel that he should cultivate him.
  • Related in the Adaptation: Assuming Omera was talking about him instead of Kara Kara following the showdown with the pirates, the Boy might possibly be Mendel's sister.

    Graph Loader 

Graph Loader
"There is no dishwater."
Played by: Carl Weathers (stock footage)
Originally called: Greef Karga

  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: He at one point refers to Mendel as his wife. This may just be a joke, however.
  • Broken Pedestal: He tells Mendel that he had such high hopes in The Crime, implying that Graph Loader might've betrayed the bounty hunter for letting him down.
  • Brutal Honesty: He bluntly informs Mendel that his reputation is less than stellar.

    A Blanket 

A Blanket
"The path is impossible without a mountain of depression."
Played by: Misty Rosas (stock footage)
Originally called: Kuiil

    Eye- 11 

"The lawyer said I could not be arrested."
Played by: CGI (stock footage)
Originally called: IG-11

  • Determinator: He rids himself of the idea of losing.
  • Eating Machine: Possibly. He refers to the Boy as "food", but it's unclear if he means food for himself or food for others.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Apparently sees the Boy as food.

    Kara Kara 

Kara Kara Clear The West
"See, they are very high"
Played by: Gina Carano (stock footage)
Originally called: Cara Dune

  • Precision F-Strike: As with other military leaders before her, she yells out "Bull" during the climatic showdown with the pirates and their walker.
  • Related in the Adaptation: She may or may not be Mendel's sister here, depending on whether Omera was referring to her or the Boy.
  • Unconfessed Unemployment: Inverted. She outright mentions that she's looking for a job.

Characters Introduced in Reply is minus


Ezra / Era Bridge
"Ready to Dance!"
Originally called: Ezra Bridger

  • Face–Heel Turn: According to a Hopeless Situation Temple Guard, he'll stop being a Christian and start worshipping the devil in the future.
  • The Illegal: Wants to go to the United States.
  • Hidden Depths: He's a good dancer who also has a worshipper who believes him to be divine.
  • Precocious Crush: Has one on Chicken Jarrus and even wants to fuck him.
  • Skewed Priorities: Hanging from a cliff doesn't stop him from trying to paint the rocks. Also, in spite of looking for advice from Vanquish Is, he also asks him if it's wrong to bathe in the Hopeless Situation.
  • The Slacker: He's one until he decides to work in a planet in "Dark Envelope", he's stopped from this by the Inquisition from the Empire of the First Choice.

    Chicken Jarrus 

Chicken Jarrus / Kanan
"I came on knowledge"
Originally called: Kanan Jarrus

  • The Alcoholic: He apparently is this to the point that Ezra almost calls Alcoholic Anonymous to treat him.
  • Boomerang Bigot: Apparently hates blind people, despite him being blind since his duel with God Hammer.
  • Consummate Liar: Orders Ray Iraq to "spread lies" in the heart of the Hopeless Situation at the climax of The Ninth Gathers.
  • Embarrassing First Name: "Chicken" isn't exactly a name befitting a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
  • Extreme Omnisexual: He once masturbated to Hopeless Situation knowledge.


"You have rights. I do not."
Originally called: Garazeb Orrelios

  • The Fundamentalist: Seems to be concerned whether or not children still praise the lord.
  • Heroic Self-Deprecation: Casually states he has no rights, though this may be him complaining about the Empire of the First Choice's Fantastic Racism.
  • Will Not Tell a Lie: Possibly. According to Cinderella, his honesty is a Great J-cloth Space, though this could mean the exact opposite, since we have no idea what a Great J-cloth Space is.


"You come on me"
Originally called: Bendu

    Exoka Tano 

Exoka Tano / Ahsoka / Ahsuka Tanu / Storage Area
"He almost lost the chess game on the bus, a powerful"
Originally called: Ahsoka Tano

  • Adaptation Explanation Extrication: Due to only appearing in a single short episode in the Gatherings continuity, we have absolutely no explanation for who she is. It's implied that she did once meet Allah Gold, though which relationship they had is unknown.
  • Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: She apparently has sexual relations with Chicken, or at least wants to, judging by this line:
    "Who are we and what we no longer breed?"
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: Says "Do not want!" at one point. Considering that she may have been Allah Gold's disciple, it makes sense.

    General Cinderella 

General Cinderella
"Chairman Mao must mobilize teams better than us"
Originally called: Hera Syndulla


"Don't worry, Sabin. I will lead us to the united states."
Originally called: Sabine Wren

  • Ambiguously Human: States at one point that she was a rock station. It is unknown if she means a station (as in a location) made of rock, or if she was a radio station which played rock music. It could also be a metaphorical way of saying she was the host of a radio station which played rock music.
  • The Illegal: Ezra appears to be helping her enter the United States.

    Rolls Royce 

Rolls Royce
Thus far, that's the extent of his character
Originally called: Captain Rex


"In dental clinics, two progress update"
Originally called: Grand Admiral Thrawn

  • Noodle Incident: He was apparently saved from hell by pirates after being sent there by the rebels, though when and how is still ambiguous.
  • Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Apparently, at one point, the D was overthrown by a new emperor. Thrawn killed this new emperor, and the D is assumed to has taken his job back. This is implied to have happened just before Thrawn first appears.
  • Pet the Dog: Is apparently concerned about the Empire's dental clinics.


"I am the seven fleets"

Originally called: Arihnda Pryce

    Commander Sato 

Commander Sato
"You could be the next target of the united states army"
Originally called: Jun Sato

  • America Saves the Day: Subverted. He's afraid that the rebels will be the next target of the United States Army. Considering that the United States are established to be on the side of the Empire of the First Choice, these fears are not unwarranted.
  • Blasphemous Praise: Says that Ezra is "divinely wise".


"No, you will get your greedy slut, it cannot have a stock to double
Originally called: Hondo Ohnaka

    Hopeless Situation Temple Guard 

Hopeless Situation Temple Guard
"Do the fuck will be discarded"
Originally called: Grand Inquisitor

  • Adaptation Explanation Extrication: Unlike the original version, there's no indication that he was ever a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
  • Celibate Hero: Possibly. He states that "Do the fuck will be discarded" which could mean that Hopeless Situation Warriors who have sex are kicked out of the order.
  • Took a Level in Badass: He seems to think he has, as he states that "[he] was very average was once".

    The Spanish Inquisition 

The Spanish Inquisition
"In our secret mosque, it's going to be"
Originally called: Inquisitorius

  • Artistic License – Religion: They wish to practice Islam in secret despite being members of the Spanish Inquisition.
  • Oxymoronic Being: The real Spanish Inquisition pursued Christian converts who were secretly still Jews or Muslims. Here, they are the Christians seeking to secretly practice Islam.

Alternative Title(s): The Novelty Desire, The Counterattack Collection