Characters Introduced in Backstroke of the West
Allah Gold / Allah Skywalker / The Peaceful Is Willing To / Line / Roy
A Young Hopeless Situation Warrior with great ambitions. Being unwilling to do a mediocre hopeless, he is deeply involved in the Presbyterian Church's war politics, though it's unclear whether he wants the war to continue or not.
- Accidental Innuendo: He says "Then can make we out!" to Ratio Tile when they're discussing plans to escape the airship.
- Achey Scars: He has one, and in The Duplicate Offensive he asks The Plum Of not to kiss it.
- Almighty Janitor: Apparently, being a mere private makes him eligible to become an Elder.
- Ambadassador: He's a Hopeless Situation Warrior, and is also involved in some kind of peace negotiations.
- Amoral Afrikaner: Possibly. The guy's a morally ambiguous Caucasian soldier who's said to have been born in Africa, but it's never mentioned which specific country he comes from, presumably Tunisia.
- Anthropomorphic Personification: He's "the relation of long peace". The Hopeless Situation Parliament does not like him because of this, and punish him by denying him the title.
- Answers to the Name of God: When you have "Allah" as your first name, this trope is pretty much unavoidable.
- Artificial Human: He briefly mentions that he was just made by the Presbyterian Church (the sentence ends there) to Ratio Tile.
- The Atoner: This may be the reasoning for his interest in restoring peace, assuming The Plum Of was right and the war really WAS caused by a mistake he made.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: "Allah Gold" definitely qualifies.
- Badass Bureaucrat: Possibly. He's involved in many fights during his time as a Hopeless Situation warrior, and an offhand remark about him in Reply Is Minus implies he held a government job.Ahsoka: "Haste, I was the last time I saw him, he was the Chancellor of the Exchequer, was saved."
- Bad is Good and Good is Bad: He believes that "Heroes is just bad person," which might have influenced his FaceHeel Turn.
- Blue-and-Orange Morality: Even before turning to the Black Influence, Gold has second thoughts about killing The because "he is not just a prisoner" — implying that killing him in cold blood would've been no problem if he had been a mere prisoner.
- Boomerang Bigot: Describes the Plum Of as an "unknown white" despite himself being white.
- Bratty Half-Pint: He was one as a child, outright telling Qui-Gon that he wanted to be a problem.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: Referring to The Plum Of's japor snippet, Allah says he remembers the scene he gave it to her in.
- Captain Oblivious: When he isn't pointing out the blatantly obvious, he is mostly just asking people what's happening and why.
- Casual Kink: Suddenly asks Pair of Lady Microphone "If I want a lot of pain, please tell me".
- Combat Sadomasochist: Apparently his killing off of the Hopeless Situation Warriors in their temples causes him to get "at full cock", as noted by D The Superior.
- Cuckold: One of the first things he asks from Speaker D following the latter becoming disabled and sick is to guarantee the safety of his cuckoldry.
- Death Seeker: Claims to be looking for a way to die. Given many of his beliefs and decisions through the film, this explains a thing or two.
- Doublethink: He simultaneously wants to start more wars (in order to end war) and is also involved in peace negotiations. He doesn't seem to think there's any contradiction there. Maybe he simply wants the war to end and is willing to do anything to achieve that, whether it's diplomacy (peace negotiations) or force (start more wars).
- Do Wrong, Right: Seems annoyed that the war has not done a good job of disrupting the Republic. This might have been his mission all along.
- Dumb Muscle: According to the D, he doesn't even know basic geometry, as he has to "study the square" — and yet he still manages to destroy Hopeless Situation Warriors.
- Easy Amnesia: In The Duplicate Offensive, he suddenly forgets who he and Ratio Tile are. He gets better later with no explanation.
- Give Him a Normal Life: He evidently doesn't want his child growing up to be a Hopeless Situation Warrior, even assuring The Plum Of that he won't need the child's help.
- Hates Being Touched: He begs The Plum Of to not kiss his scar, and flies into a rage when thinking about the time Ratio Tile hugged him.
- Immediate Self-Contradiction: He has a habit of doing this."The R2 came right away, in a moment.""I do not need the child's help. Our baby blesses god'sly.""Let me enter the parliament. Do not let me."
- Law of Disproportionate Response: Whereas in the original film Anakin was motivated via a premonition of Padme dying in childbirth, here the premonition seems to instead depict The Plum Of being upset that their child was abducted shortly after birth, making Allah Gold's decision to turn to the Dark World even more disproportionate than it was originally.
- Meaningful Name: His name is The Peaceful Is Willing To and he seems to be involved in some kind of peace negotiations and at the same time, seems to be willing to start more wars in order to ''end'' the war.
- My God, What Have I Done?: Has a moment after helping D kill Text How Big."I did what"
- Not Big Enough for the Two of Us: When confronted by Ratio Tile at the end.Ratio Tile: Let me killing your and?!?
Allah Gold: [coldly] Is not your new empire.
- Plant Person: He thanks Ratio Tile for cultivating him after revealing that he is an Artificial Human.
- Start X to Stop X: He wants to start more wars in order to end the war.
- That Came Out Wrong: Several times. He instantly corrects The Plum Of's assumption that he was talking about some kind of bondage in his declaration of love, and later says "I do not need the child's help", quickly adding that the baby "blesses god'sly".
Ratio Tile / The Willing to Compares / Ratio Prosperous / The Ratio is Prosperous / Wan Kenobi / Section Ratio General / European Wan / Old Ben / Obi-Wan Kenobi / The Kenobi / Austria Wang Wan Kenobi / Values Include
Allah Gold's perverted and foul-mouthed teacher. He is not as politically minded as his student, though he is still very loyal to the Presbyterian Church. He may or may not be undead, and he may or may not be having an affair with The Plum Of.
- Anything That Moves: Ratio repeatedly states his desire to have sex with Allah Gold and states that he can have it with somebody's wife if he needs to.
- Adaptational Villainy: Ratio is still a benevolent character who tries to aid Allah Gold, but he is now also a sexual maniac and a faithful member of a racist, warmongering organization. In The Duplicate Offensive, he ominously states he'll pin the blame for the assassination attempts on someone's wife, and attempts to rope an unwilling Django into a scheme against Obi-Wan. Not an improvement over how evil the Presbyterian Church in general seems to be.
- Anguished Declaration of Love: Possibly when Allah Gold/The Peaceful Is Willing To says that he will ruin him, where he responds with this."The Peaceful Is Willing To, you the past is my brothers, what I love is you!"
- Born in the Wrong Century: Vanquish Is thinks so, at least. Considering Tile is a zombie, this might imply a lot of time passed between his death and his resurrection.
- Camera Fiend: Implied. Ratio Tile claims to be in whole photographing, possibly for erotic purposes given his penchants.
- Change the Uncomfortable Subject: In recapping the meeting that Allah Gold missed, he starts out sheepishly talking about how "the combat report of the other warrior" mentioned his own depravity, then totally drops it and starts going into stuff about the war and the parliament.
- Complaining About Rescues They Don't Like: His only reaction to both Allah Gold and R2's efforts to save him from the Airship Robots is to say "Good kind of" to both them.
- Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments, like after the impressive crash-landing that smashed Lemon Avenue into rubble and nearly killed him, his apprentice and the supreme leader of the Gram Republic: he snarks that nobody is there to greet them.
- Growing Up Sucks: Ratio the Tile comments "I was old" after Allah Gold uses his powers to jump out of an elevator. He might be referring to his life before coming back as a zombie.
- Handicapped Badass: He claims to be this, though he shows no signs of being handicapped. If he really is disabled, his disability doesn't prevent him from performing any of his badass deeds from the original film.
- Heel Realization: He is surprised to discover during a briefing that he is apparently depraved (something that had always been obvious to the audience, though).
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Even though he displays great physical agility, he refers to himself as "disabled person".
- Honor Before Reason: When Allah Gold says that Ratio Tile owes him seven times, Ratio reminds him that it's actually nine times, though the preceding events don't count for some reason.
- I Have Many Names: His name is translated in more different ways than any other character.
- Large Ham: Has his moments."But is I to republic with DEMOCRATIC AND LOYAL TO!"
- Lovable Sex Maniac: He seems to be a honorable, heroic being, but he has a serious problem with sex, to the point he talks about it constantly, is into erotic photo as a hobby and has illegitimate children all around.
- Major Injury Underreaction: Of a mechanical sort. When the Airship Robots start tearing his airship apart, he merely grumbles about how bothersome they're being.
- Mr. Vice Guy: He's a depraved and foul-mouthed guy who nonetheless believes the best of people.
- Ninja Pirate Zombie Robot: Not counting his personality quirks, he's apparently a transexual zombie Hopeless Situation Warrior.
- No Periods, Period: Possibly averted, at least if this assertion by The Peaceful is Willing To is to be believed:"Your dead period arrived, teacher"
- Alternatively, he could mean it in the sense it's his period of being dead, which would basically mean "It's time to die".
- Obliviously Evil: He's very surprised upon being informed that he's apparently depraved.
- Our Zombies Are Different: It turns out that, despite showing no signs of it, he is a zombie or some kind of lich, as revealed when Space General mentions that he died to settle an unspecified struggle. Alternatively, Ratio Tile might be actually Reach the Man's disciple, and as a result can use the Original Dint to come back from the brink of death.
- Really Gets Around: In The Duplicate Offensive, Lama Su asks him if he's "Otherwise, the leading member of the Presbyterian Church fuck?" However, it's not until Backstroke of the West that he realizes just how depraved he is.
- Related in the Adaptation: He now seems to be the father of the "pathetic people". Considering he is some kind of unholy being yet has sex with everybody, it's pretty understandable that he has a lot of children who don't carry the best genetics.
- Rousseau Was Right: He believes that everybody is good.
- Screw Yourself: His claim that he "did [Allah Gold's] teacher" becomes disturbing, considering he's apparently describing himself. This implies he's a sex addict, so much that he does himself whenever he cannot find a suitable partner.
- Sir Swears-a-Lot: Is responsible for all four of the movie's Precision F-Strikes.
- Skewed Priorities: He has a real problem with this.
- Despite needing R2 to activate the elevator, his first priority is to find out if he "is fucking".
- Instead of being relieved not to have died when Space General's airship nearly crashes, Ratio Tile complains that "the nobody greets" when they land. Could just be an example of dry post-danger wit.
- His first action in the wake of the massacre at the Hopeless Situation temple is to change the password on some random piece of equipment.
- When being told that The Plum Of is dying, Ratio Tile is only worried with whether she'll die quickly or not. Though this could be out of concern, as she's clearly suffering.
- Spell My Name with a "The": While being rescued in The Novelty Desire, Princess Leah calls him "The Kenobi".
- The Strength of Ten Men: He claims to fight with the strength of a dozen during his final fight with Reach the West.
- Time Travel: He's been able to escape by jumping to a day after the fair.
- Token Good Teammate: The Hopeless Situation Warriors are evil in this continuity, but Ratio Tile seems to be a well-meant guy who cares for Allah Gold, even if he's a bit sex-crazy.
- Transgender: Possibly. He is a man, but his period arrives during his fight with Allah Gold. Ghost the Threat supports this by having Qui-Gon mention his "transition".
- Troll: Uses his Hopeless Situation Mind Trick to make a ST ER ORMTROOP say "They can not robots we do fuck."
- Unexplained Recovery: According to Space General, he has already died. This does nothing to slow him down.
D the Superior / The Pudding / Dark Improbity / Merkel / Map / Jehovah the West Four / Paul / Pa El Pattinson / Mahler T / Parkinase
The Supreme leader of the Gram Republic, and secretly the West Emperor of the Dark World as well. He has a fondness of constantly giving himself new titles, and is also a notorious Dirty Old Man, which the Hopeless Situation Parliament plans to exploit in order to usurp him.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Revenge of the Sith heavily implied that Palpatine was the apprentice who murdered Darth Plagueis; here, Reach the Man was killed by his land, not by the D. It's also said that the war wasn't started by him, but by Allah Gold, meaning that The D might genuinely be a Well-Intentioned Extremist doing what he feels is necessary to end the conflict. However, it's still undeniable that he's not a good person: he causes the destruction of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, and he's every bit as ambitious and power-hungry as Palpatine, wanting to be aller strong and big than anyone.
- Adaptational Sexuality: Implied to be gay. He never shows any sexual interest in women and the Presbyterian Church specifically sends a handsome young man to seduce him, but he's capable of going toe-to-toe with two of the strongest Hopeless Situation Warriors in the galaxy. The way he describes Emperor Reach The Man is also rather homoerotic."He is so strong and big."
- Ambition Is Evil: Just like his original incarnation, and perhaps even more so. Instead of complimenting Allah Gold's power before his fight with Vanquish Is, he crows that he will be "aller strong and big than anyone."
- Anti-Villain: He orders the massacre of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, but he actually has a lot of reasons to act against them: they were openly racist towards him for being from the West, to the point they tried to compromise his career by a Honey Trap, and according to him it was one of them, Allah Gold, who started the war, possibly on their orders. In general, he comes off rather as a Noble Demon who was left simply no other option.
- Badass Boast: His address to the parliament after his assassination attempt:"Want to assassinate my person, to leave the scar became me disable and sick. However my power has always been. to have no like. For insuring the future safety with prospers . . . the Republic organizes afresh, become THE EMPIRE OF THE FIRST CHOICE! This is for the sake of a more safe the society . . ."
- Bad Guys Play Pool: He admits to playing billiards in "The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows."
- Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: In "Hopeless Situation Returns", D calls Gospel a "Baby idiot." before he attacks him.
- The Bully: Apparently, his motivations were to "bully and decieve death".
- Cloud Cuckoolander: While all of the characters can come off as this thanks to the incomprehensible dialogue they all bring to the table, the Ice-Cream Koan D uses to describe the Dark World is so utterly bizarre that Allah Gold can only respond with a stunned "You say what?"
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Describes the Dark Force Face as a company when talking to Kellog in "The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.""Dark Force Face This is a company."
- Dirty Old Man: He's apparently notorious for being this, as the Hopeless Situation Presbyterian orders Allah Gold to spy on him in order to learn more about his sex life. However, the D instead seduces Gold into having an affair with him, and casually dishes out lewd comments such as informing Gold (then Reaching the West of Reaches) he is "at full cock" and urging him to "spread all over the place the Empire." Guess they don't call him "The D" for nothing.
- Dirty Old Monk: Gives off this impression. He's never actually said to be a man of the cloth, but he is a religious Dirty Old Man dressed in monk-like robes. Subverted at the end, when he reveals all his religious outlook was all facade.
- Drunk on the Dark Side: Subverted: rather than crow about 'UNLIMITED POWAAAAAAH' as Palpatine did, D simply gives Text How Big a final cruel taunt... at least it might have been a final cruel taunt before hurling him out the window.D: Get to say with you that part... FOREVER!
- The End Is Nigh: Claims this at one point:"The judgment day of world come quickly, general"
- Evil Counterpart: Palpatine was already one to both Obi-Wan and Yoda in canon, but D is primarily one to Ratio Tile: both are extremely perverted, claim to be disabled though show no outward signs of any disability, and make advances towards Allah Gold at multiple points.
- Evil Is Bigger: His stated ambition is to be stronger and bigger than anyone else.
- Fire/Water Juxtaposition: He seems to see the Wish Power as this. He says that the Dark World is like "the fire of water".
- Gratuitous German:"I would be aller strong and big than everyone."
- Handicapped Badass: Claims to have been left disabled and sick by his fight with Text How Big, but he still has little trouble seeing off Vanquish Is when they battle.
- I Am the Noun: Combined with Double Entendre, he says that he's the "member" of the Senate.
- Interplay of Sex and Violence: A firm believer in this, telling Allah Gold that he "makes out quite good" after seeing him defeat and kill The and later praising him for achieving "full cock" by slaughtering all the Hopeless Situation Warriors in the temple, and he uses "strong and big" as a euphemism for "powerful".
- Legacy Character: Maybe. The translation doesn't make any real distinction between "The Emperor" (Darth Plagueis, who is implied to still be alive) and "The West Emperor" (Darth Sidious), so it's possible that it is a title that passes from master to apprentice. Or maybe that D is lying in his tale and they are actually the same person (unless Darth Plagueis is R2).
- Like Is, Like, a Comma: "The Presbyterian Church, like, enjoys you not".
- Meaningful Name: "The D" is common slang for the male genitalia, especially on the internet. So it doesn't come as a surprise that the man commonly known as "The D" is not only a Dirty Old Man, but also kind of a dick in general, to put it mildly.
- Noble Demon: He is definitely more honorable and well-meant than the Hopeless Situation Warriors, if still ruthless and power-hungry.
- No, You: His response when Text How Big says that he failed is "Not. Not- You just failed."
- Pet the Dog: Speaker D outwardly admits that he had used Allah Gold to kill Text How Big, and that he has no more use for him... before offering Allah Gold a chance to be his student anyway for no reason other than apparently having grown fond of him. He also doesn't seem to resent Allah Gold for starting the war, probably guessing that Alla Gold was being manipulated by his superiores the same way.
- Popularity Power: One possible interpretation of his power having always been "to have no like" is that this is Inverted, and if so, he may gain power from having a 0% Approval Rating.
- The Power of Hate: Claims that his power has always been "to have no like". This may also be interpreted as Blessed with Suck, depending on who's doing the liking.
- Power of the Void: He apparently taps into a "great void" for his power. During the crux of his duel with Text How Big, his great void grows weak, preventing him from overcoming the Hopeless Situation Elder before Allah Gold intervenes.
- Power Perversion Potential: He suggests Allah Gold to "study the dark power in usage with me".
- Reasonable Authority Figure: Another thing that sets him apart from Palpatine. Excessive formality and groveling from his underlings seems to annoy him on some level, such as when he bluntly tells the kneeling, newly-christened Reaching The West Of Reaches to "Get up." after the latter pledges his loyalty. After killing off the Abruption Doctrine leaders on the wood method star, Allah Gold responds to D's new orders with a casual "All right, Host.", and D seems entirely okay with it. Later in his reign he treats his close allies fairly well, considering he let South Host go on vacation.
- Refuge in Audacity: He simply, and bluntly, orders the Republic Troopseses to kill the Hopeless Situation Warriors once their time runs out. Rather than question this order, they immediately comply.
- The Reveal: After everything he does to make religion legal in the Milky Way and all the events that follow, he reveals to Gospel that he was an atheist all along and was only using religious beliefs to further manipulate the galaxy.
- Royal "We": Briefly lapses into this while assuring Allah Gold that he's fine upon being rescued by Gold and Ratio Tile. Being secretly an Emperor of the West, it's natural.
- Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: His Establishing Character Moment from Ghost The Threat, with an unusual emphasis on the "screwing" part.West Emperor: I want to fuck it into law.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Oddly mashes together Flowery Elizabethan English and Valley Girl syntax in the line "The Presbyterian Church, like, enjoys you not."
- Then Let Me Be Evil: Some of his dialogue suggests that he tried to do the right thing at first, but constant attacks by the Presbyterian Church (which were implied to be motivated by bigotry) eventually drove him to unleash his ambitions, destroy them, and take supreme power.
- Token Good Teammate: He claims to be this, as he reveals that he also belongs to the Hopeless Situation Presbyterian, despite disapproving of their plot "to rule." Though this might be mostly because he is already the Prime Minister / Governor / Speaker / West Emperor / Big King, and simply fears that the other Hopeless Situations will betraye him.
- Undying Loyalty: To the Black Influence. At some point in time, he needed it to save himself from something, and as such holds it in high regard.
- Villain Respect: He calls Ratio Tile "prosperous" for training Allah Gold well enough to defeat The in single combat.
- Villains Want Mercy: In a scene relatively unchanged from the original, he beseeches Text How Big to show mercy, and for Allah Gold to save him when Text How Big is clearly not in a giving vein.Speaker D: (terrified) Beg...you...!
- Well-Intentioned Extremist:
- Paints himself as this, notably before his battle with Text How Big.
- In Ghost The Threat, he's willing to offer sexual favors to make religion legal in the galaxy.
- Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: You can hardly blame him for being evil since his power has always been to have no like.
- Working Through the Cold: Has an intense duel with with Vanquish Is mere hours after telling the Parliament that he became disabled and sick. He might have been exaggerating to invoke their sympathy, but he does look a bit physically ravaged.
The Plum Of / The Gets The Rice / Pair of Lady Microphone
Allah Gold's lover. She blames him for starting the war, and believes herself to have suffered a miscarriage. Fortunately she turns out to be wrong, meaning that she will still give birth to children which will help her clean the house while she feeds it.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: Apparently, whatever species of Human Alien she is should not be capable of shivering.Allah Gold: Are you o.k.? You is shivering. How?
- Bondage Is Bad: She misinterprets Allah Gold's declaration of love, thinking he wants her to tie him up, and seems disturbed by the thought.
- Covert Pervert: In the Bondage Is Bad example, she's the one who, totally out of nowhere, suggests that Allah Gold wants her to tie him up. He seems embarrassed by the idea.
- Did You Die?: She asks The Peaceful Is Willing To this question.The Plum of That: Hear of you is killed.
Allah Gold: I did not die, is not.
- Eats Babies: She seems worried that her child will be sent to the slaughterhouse.The Plum Of: Is that baby on the hoof?
- Face of an Angel, Mind of a Demon: When they first meet, The Peaceful Is Willing To calls her a "beautiful monster".
- Hates Being Touched: She tells Bottle that she doesn't want to hold him.
- The Maiden Name Debate: On her deathbed, she mentions that she is not "Line" (and presumably not a "Willing To" or a "Gold" either.)
- Not So Different: Allah Gold accuses her tone of resembling the Abruption Doctrine.
- Run, Don't Walk: A rare example outside of a video game. She can't walk on a road meant for running about.
- That Makes Me Feel Angry: After learning The Peaceful Is Willing To has joined the Dark World, The Plum Of tearfully tells him "You let me feeling sad!"
- Vow of Celibacy: Has apparently taken one. It obviously doesn't stick, given that she ends up pregnant with Allah Gold's children.
Vanquish Is / Particularly Reach the Master / Sir Yoda / Master Judas
An elder of the Hopeless Situation Parliament. He attempts to ruin the West by feigning surrender and fighting The D, but the powers of the Dark World are too strong and big for Particularly Reach the Master, forcing him to leave the country.
- Adaptational Jerkass: Yoda could sometimes be an insensitive hardass, but Vanquish Is is downright psychotic, in addition to underhanded and amoral. He has still redeeming qualities, though.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: From Anakin's perspective, Yoda was mostly just a Hero Antagonist in Revenge of the Sith. Here, on the other hand, Vanquish Is is significantly more supportive of Allah Gold than Yoda was of Anakin, defending him as "a right candidate" when Text How Big distrusts him and later noting his "experience" as a reason to give him the mission of finding Space General (though this is overruled).
- Adaptational Villainy: Aside from being a psycho, he's here an high-ranked member of a racist, manipulative organization with questionable activities and which possibly started the war. In The Duplicate Offensive, after Camino has been found, he tells Ratio Tile to delete all files related to it, suggesting the Hopeless Situation Warriors were using the planet for some sinister purpose.
- Ambiguously Alien: The D calls him a mannequin before their battle, implying he is some kind of animated artificial being. Hardly surprising if we consider the Hopeless Situation Warriors already have a zombie and a giant Midi-chlorian in their staff. However, it could also be simply The D taunting him.
- Anti-Villain: He's manipulative, violent and part of an evil organization, but he still cares for Allah Gold and is firmly against drugs (which might even be the reason why his order started a war to damage the Gram Republic in the first place), and it's implied that at least some of his villainy might come from a troubled personal life.
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: He can't seem to focus on helping Ratio Tile find Camino, talking instead about finding "fuck and wan planets", then bringing up his past relationship with someone named Sarah.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: VANQUISH IS. And just in case someone starts to think the little green space goblin having a name like that is an example of Deathbringer the Adorable, all he has to do is pull out his lightsaber to prove them dead wrong.
- Ax-Crazy: Even if his previous goals seemed to be ultimately well-intentioned, he openly tells to Gospel to destroy everything.
- Captain Obvious: At one point, he notes that The current time arrived.
- Cross-Dressing Voices: He is clearly voiced by a woman, leading to some Larynx Dissonance.
- Dark and Troubled Past: Apparently related to an ex named Sarah.
- Destroy the Evidence: He encourages Ratio Tile to "delete the email", but soon realizes it can't be done.
- Dirty Old Man: He appears to encourage the younglings to look for sex.
- Driven to Madness: Possibly. He used to be a sort of Well-Intentioned Extremist back when the Presbyterian Church still existed, but when Luke finds him, he has devolved into an Omnicidal Maniac. It's thus implied that the destruction of his organization and his long exile abroad made him lose his head over the years.
- Drugs Are Bad: He seems to be worried that the Hopeless Situation Warriors will become addicted to cocaine."Wait until the gram the person discovers. Will use very long hours."
- Considering The Plum Of's comment to Allah Gold about him being too high, perhaps these worries aren't entirely without merit.
- Emotionally Tongue-Tied: When he says goodbye to Drag Along, he tells him "I will miss your—", but can't finish the sentence and leaves without saying anything else.
- Healing Hands: In The Counterattack Collection, he causes the "cancellation" of Gospel's "heart problems".
- I Surrender, Suckers: He sneaks into The D's chambers late in the film this way:Speaker D: Vanquish Is. You surrendered.
Vanquish Is: Surprise.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Decides to Run for the Border when he fails to beat The D in their fight.
- Omnicidal Maniac: In The Counterattack Collection, he urges Gospel to "destroy all".
- The One That Got Away: Sarah, as mentioned in The Duplicate Offensive, though his vague, defensive statement that "Sarah happened" suggests it's not a topic he likes to discuss. Maybe she was a bad enough partner to have been a human disaster for him and/or some kind of unpleasant Noodle Incident figured into the breakup.
- The Paladin: Taken even further than in canon, as he actually holds the title "sir".
- Pragmatic Hero: Perfectly willing to use dirty tricks in his efforts to ruin the west.
- Run for the Border: States that he must leave the country after being defeated by The Pudding.◊
- SexFace Turn: He plans a Fan Disservice variant when he insists that [he] must hold tight the Space General to end the war.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Implied. If the Gram Republic is a narco-state as it sounds like, then it would be natural for an anti-drugs figure like Vanquish Is to act against it.
Text How Big/Mike/Hammer
A powerful Hopeless Situation master who tries to have Speaker D caught fucking. Tends to be fairly rude to most people he encounters. Really dislikes foolish people, young people, grown-up people, and black people.
- Adaptational Jerkass: The original Windu was already a blunt jerk, but Text How Big makes him look sweet by comparison.
- Adaptational Villainy: Like Vanquish Is and the rest of the Presbyterian Church.
- Big Good: Seems to be, as D considered him the biggest threat around, although Text's faction makes it more of an Evil vs. Evil affair.
- Boomerang Bigot: Seems to be his schtik. He's against the notion of compromising with black people despite himself being a black person, and also dislikes The D for being an adult despite being portrayed by an actor in his fifties.
- The Comically Serious: While most of the cast is this to a certain extent, he's especially notably due to being The Stoic.
- The Dreaded: The D doesn't even consider putting his plans into action as long as Text How Big is around: he outwardly admits to Allah Gold that his sole interest in the boy (at least at first) was because he could use Allah Gold to get Text How Big out of the way.
- Entendre Failure: Doesn't get the innuendo behind D's statement that he's the "member" of the Senate, judging from his response that he's not the only one.
- Hates Everyone Equally: Including himself.
- Knight Templar: He decides to kill the D rather than have him stand trial because he believes the D is so powerful he will pull a Karma Houdini. This causes Allah Gold to turn to Ds side and gets Text How Big killed.
- Properly Paranoid: Expresses doubt that Allah Gold can handle the mission to spy on Speaker D. He turns out to be absolutely right, but it makes no difference in the end: Speaker D's plan goes off without a hitch, Allah Gold goes to the Dark World, and Text How Big goes careening out the window.
- Sophisticated as Hell: This gem, from Ghost The Threat.Text How Big: This will put pressure on alliances to broaden the fuck confrontation.
- Underestimating Badassery: Zig-zagged. When Allah Gold tries to warn him about D's power, Text How Big dismisses his concerns as foolish. He ends up losing the three Hopeless Situation Warrior accompanying him in seconds after the battle starts, but he still manages to get D on the ropes: if Allah Gold hadn't betrayed him, he would have won.
- We Have Reserves: Averted. He specifies that only specific "troopseses" whom The Master Of is helping should be sent into battle, and not anyone else.
- Worthy Opponent: He praises Space General as being very successful and crafty. This dynamic between them is notably not present in the original, where he denigrates him as a coward who runs and hides.
- You No Take Candle: "I feel that this child cans not handles. I distrust him."
A very deceitful, skillful former Hopeless Situation warrior who turned to the Black Influence, becoming a Big. He is quite obsessed with Ratio Tile, and tends to punish his robotic minions by feeding them dog.
- Adaptational Badass: In the original movie, he was trained by The in lightsaber combat. Here, his dialogue hints that he was at one point a full-fledged Hopeless Situation Warrior! Text How Big also remarks that the Space General will always succeed to succeed, as opposed to the original line in which his counterpart disregarded the Space General as a coward who would run and hide.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Space General is also consistently nicer to his underlings in this version (threats to feed them dog aside). When the Abruption Doctrine leaders question his ability to keep them safe, he begs them to believe him rather than threaten them as he did in the original work, and when it looks like Ratio and Gold will escape capture on his airship, he urges his troops to escape.
- Affably Evil: Unlike Grievous, Space General's worst moment was a one-off time he threatened to feed dog to his troops after their failure. Other than that, he doesn't come across as that bad a guy, being impeccably polite even to his enemies and A Father to His Men.
- Ambition Is Evil: He may be motivated by this, as he may be plotting to betray the leaders of the Abruption Doctrine and seize power for himself.
- Benevolent Boss: He threatens to feed dog to his troops, who are robots, but aside from this, he seems to care for them, twice taking on his enemies personally so that they have a chance to escape.
- Big, Stupid Doodoo-Head: For all his menace, he sure as hell can't trashtalk: his response to Allah Gold insulting him is to call him a "smelly boy".
- Chronic Backstabbing Disorder: A fallen Hopeless Situation Warrior planning to betray his new Abruption Doctrine allies for his own gain. Lampshaded by Text How Big.Text How Big: "He's very deceitful!"
- Crazy-Prepared: Apparently he anticipated that D would ask him to transfer his troops to "the wood method star", because he tells D "That has completed, my host" when he makes the suggestion. Of course, this might just be an example of how he's "very deceitful" and he lied about it to impress D.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: When Allah Gold and Ratio Tile escape, he orders his troopers to "batter to death them!"
- Darth Vader Clone: Actually made into more of one than Grievous was originally. In the original films, Maul, Dooku, and Grievous were all meant to foreshadow Darth Vader by each having one of his traits (Maul Vader's status as The Heavy for the Emperor, Dooku his history as a former Jedi, and Grievous his cyborg nature), but Space General was also made a former Hopeless Situation Warrior in Backstroke of the West, giving him more of Vader's traits than was originally planned.
- Divide and Conquer: According to Speaker D, his plan is to "splits up the Doctrine Alliance leads."
- Dragon Ascendant: Going by the above, he may be trying to do this.
- Eating Machine: His Mooks might be this.
- Evil Is Hammy: Very much so.BATTER TO DEATH THEM!
- Evil Is Sexy: Seems to think this:"Beat, we are great and black influences."
- A Father to His Men: Aside from a one-off threat to make his troops eat dog (which he almost certainly didn't intend to actually do, if anything because they are robots), Space General is nothing but caring towards them. This is shown whenever a Hopeless Situation Warrior enters the fray. When Ratio Tile and Allah Gold get their lightsabers back, he holds them off to give his subordinates time to escape, knowing they're hopelessly outmatched. Later, when Ratio tracks him down, he insists on fighting him personally, and later runs off to draw him away from the troops.
- Forgot About His Powers: Despite at one point being a Hopeless Situation Warrior, at no point does he use the Wish Power on Ratio Tile during their fight. Considering how close the battle was, it's not unreasonable to think he could have won outright if he had. May be a Fridge Brilliance if you remember that in the original movies, one's ability to use The Force is directly related to the amount of Midi-chlorian one has in his/her body and Midi-chlorian can only survive within an organic host, and since Space General is probably about 95+% machine it's understandable that he can no longer use the Wish Power.
- Forgotten Friend, New Foe: He may have once served alongside Ratio Tile, as he reveals that he was once in the latter's "Hopeless Situation encampment".
- Heroic Sacrifice: He distracts and duels Ratio Tile so Ratio won't harm his minions, which could be seen as one since he dies in that duel.
- Know When to Fold 'Em: Considering he used to be one himself, Space General is well aware of how powerful Hopeless Situation Warriors are: as soon as Allah Gold and Ratio Tile get their lightsabers back, he decides getting his troops out alive is more important than recapturing The D."Leave he! Run, quickly!"
- Large Ham: His voice actor clearly has a lot of fun with the role in the dubbed version.
- Minion with an F in Evil: More Dragon with an F in jackassery, but he totally sucks at threats and insults: the best punishment he can think of for his troops is to feed them dog (likely because he's so caring towards them normally), tells them to "batter to death them" three different times, and goes with "smelly boy" when insulting Allah Gold.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: He immediately orders his troops to kill Ratio Tile and Allah Gold when they infiltrate his airship, and as soon as he sees his elite guard go down, he decides to get the rest of his men out of there, knowing they will not stand a chance.
- Oh, Crap!: When Ratio and Allah Gold get their weapons back, he immediately orders his MagnaGuards to batter to death them, and when they go down he orders a hasty retreat for the rest of his forces.
- Old Soldier: Refers to himself as an "old man", but as he has an uber-powerful cyborg body, is fully capable of taking on Ratio Tile.
- Out-of-Character Moment: Inverted, in a way. His first onscreen interaction with his troops is when, in a moment of frustration, he threatens to feed them dog. The rest of the time, he's far more concerned for them.
- Polite Villains, Rude Heroes: In contrast to his original incarnation, Space General is surprisingly polite, especially compared to his pottymouthed nemesis Ratio Tile.
- The Starscream: Apparently, he is this to the leaders of the Abruption Doctrine.
- Villain Respect: Seems to have a degree of this for Section Ratio, referring to him as "Sir" during their meeting on the airship and then, on the Pimping Mainland, complimenting him as a day of brave before commanding his troops to killed him.
- Wild Card: D suggests that he is planning something against the leaders of the Abruption Doctrine, whom he is supposedly fighting for.
A Republic Troopseses officer who... well... holds the title of Commanding Officer for Section Ratio General's unit of Troopseses.
- Blind Obedience: He immediately, and without question, complies with D The Superior's orders in killing off the Hopeless Situations, once their time runs out.
- A Dog Named "Dog": An army commander named Commanding Officer.
- FaceHeel Turn: Speaker D orders him to kill off the Hopeless Situation Warriors because time has run out. He immediately complies by having Ratio Tile, who is a Hopeless Situation, gunned down.
- Mook Lieutenant: For Ratio Tile's Republic Troopseses, and later, one for Speaker D once the Hopeless Situations' time runs out.
- Race Against the Clock: He was apparently working on a timetable to resolve Speaker D's conflict with the Hopeless Situation Warriors. Speaker D tells him "time is up" before ordering him to kill them off immediately.
- Satellite Character: All of his scenes are him serving under Section Ratio General, and later, trying to have him killed under D The Superior's orders when "time is up".
R2 / Reach the Man / R2-D2 / A map / Atu
Allah Gold's foolish Robot Buddy. Despite his helpfulness, most people never really treat him with any respect. He may or may not be the same person as the former emperor of the West.
- Adaptation Name Change: The sole aversion of this in the entire dub, at least when he isn't referred to as Reach The Man.
- Ambiguous Gender: He's usually referred to as male, but at one point in The Novelty Desire Blow the Skin calls him her wife.
- Ambiguous Situation: It's not clear if he really is the Emperor or if he just happens to have the same name.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Allah Gold twice instructs him to be "foolish", suggesting that he is good at pulling this off.
- Official Couple: Is outright stated to be Blow The Skin's wife in The Novelty Desire.
- One Steve Limit: Averted. Not only does R2 share his name with all the other astromech droids, he's also referred to as "Reach the Man", which is also the name of ... the original film's Darth Plagueis.
- The Reach the Man Behind the Man: This translation suggests that R2 is a Sith Lord, given that both he and Darth Plagueis are referred to as "Reach the Man".
- The Voiceless: Unlike most other characters, R2 gets to keep his "voice" from the film.
- Younger and Hipper: Apparently. He and Blow the Skin are referred to as "childses" by Senator.
A, well, senator who takes Ratio Tile and Vanquish Is to Governor D's city, and also helps the latter leave the country afterwards. As thanks for his trouble, Blow the Skin is later offered to Senator as a wife.
- Brutal Honesty: Tells Ratio Tile in the bluntest manner possible that most of his comrades have been killed."Look, your loss very miserably heavy."
- Captain Obvious: Upon witnessing a young Hopeless Situation learner attempting to fight off a squad of troopseses, he shouts at the young Hopeless to run — after he'd already been shot dead.
- A Dog Named "Dog": A senator named Senator.
- Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": He's consistently addressed as merely "Senator".
- Exotic Extended Marriage: While he proudly declares Blow the Skin to be his wife, he's shown with a human wife a little later, suggesting that human/droid Polyamory might be common on his planet.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: Maybe. Blow The Skin calls R2 "my kid", while at the end of the film, Senator reveals that Blow the Skin "is [his] wife." It's perfectly possible that in this version of Star Wars, Bail Organa is the father of R2-D2.
- Robosexual: Might be this, as he takes Blow the Skin as his wife. In fact, one could infer from his line "I will take the girl with the wife" that the only reason he even agrees to adopt See is so that he can get his hands on Blow the Skin as well.
Blow the Skin / C-3PO / I Occupy To Walk First / Professor Xu / Picard / Saint Leather Austria / Blow Pio / Blowing the Skin
A Fembot in the service of The Gets The Rice, and also the mother of Reach The Man. She is eventually given to Senator as a wife.
- Ambiguous Gender: Blow the Skin appears to be a fembot, but is voiced by a man and has a Something Else Also Rises moment.
- Beautiful Slave Girl: Is temporarily one of Java's slaves in Hopeless Situation Return and upon her first meeting with EV-9D9, the latter is just amazed at how pretty she is.EV-9D9: Gorgeous... We have no explanation.
- Calling Me a Logarithm: Early in The Novelty Desire, she takes offence when R2 calls her a philosopher.
- Crosscast Role: Technically. She has a voice similar to Anthony Daniels' original voice of C-3PO (and is still played physically by him), but the dialogue implies that the character is actually female. (Protocol droids look mostly the same, regardless of gender.)
- Gender Flip: She seems to be a female version of C-3PO, who — ironically — was designed to look like a male version of the Fembot Futura from Metropolis, so you might say that the circle is now complete.
- Good Fortune from God: Believes in this."God is merciful to me!"
- Hypocritical Humor: Chides Mr. Thoreau for being inappropiate, despite swearing like a sailor herself.
- Innocently Insensitive: In The Counterattack Collection, she laughs when the Boat shield doors are closed, thus trapping Gospel and Thoreau outside. Granted, it's to help assure R2 that Gospel will be fine, but she could take the situation a little more seriously...
- Insufferable Genius: She openly boasts that she's the best in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
- Knocking on Heathens' Door: How she gets herself and R2 into Java's palace.
- Moment Killer: When The Gets The Rice and Allah Gold kiss, she complains that they're kissing too loudly.
- Related in the Adaptation: She calls R2 "my kid" at one point, which is all the more bizarre considering both of them are regarded as "childses". It gets even weirder in The Novelty Desire, where she refers to R2 as her wife.
- Ridiculously Human Robots: She is at one point considered a child, and she is capable of having offspring.
- Robot Religion: Worships Gospel of Luke as the Lord.
- Sexbot: With a name like "Blow the Skin", one has to wonder. It would also explain why Senator was so eager to take her as his wife.
- Though in The Novelty Desire, she says that she "really [does] not know how to fuck."
- The Ambiguous Gender part is also possibly explained by this, since if (s)he was designed for pleasure, it is certainly possible that he comes with interchangeable... parts. It would be cheaper than producing unique models for both sexes.
- Something Else Also Rises: Appears to be experiencing this after being activated for the first time."Body part I appeared? incredible! Oh!"
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In The Counterattack Collection, she just laughs off Leah when the latter worries about Gospel's life.
- Younger and Hipper: She and R2 are apparently considered "childses" according to Senator, whatever that means with robots.
The / Drop / Master Pulling Augustine
A psychotic Big who harbors a burning hatred for Allah Gold. He tries to kill Ratio Tile and Allah as a tribute to Speaker D, but is himself defeated and executed by Gold.
- Adaptational Jerkass: He is not much more evil than Dooku, but surely manages to be more savage and unstable.
- Ax-Crazy: His madness is only vaguely hidden by the thinnest air of calm sophistication. Every word out of his mouth revolves around how much he despises Allah Gold and wants to kill him in the name of his master.
- Blood Knight: Orders Allah Gold and Ratio Tile to draw their swords, chomping at the bit for the chance to kill them in D's name. Is "surprised and pleased" to learn Allah Gold had his force promoted twice since their last encounter, clearly relishing the opportunity to fight a stronger opponent.
- But for Me, It Was Tuesday: Inverted. He says that he "has been hating" Allah Gold since their previous encounter in The Duplicate Offensive, even though he spent most of that encounter fighting with Ratio Tile and then Vanquish Is.
- Cassandra Truth: Despite outwardly declaring who his master is right to Allah Gold and Ratio Tile, the two ignore it as more of his crazed rambling.
- Death Seeker: Ratio speculates that The was this, thus explaining his eagerness to fight especially strong opponents."The ever since that time willing to dies."
- Dirty Old Man: Like teacher, like student. He disguises his intention to sacrifice Allah Gold and Ratio Tile to his master with a Double Entendre.
- Establishing Character Moment: Delivers one on behalf of the West, ensuring that the audience knows what they're about with his first line."Pull out your sword. Dedicate the body for your Speaker."
- Human Sacrifice: He considers the act of killing Allah Gold and Ratio Tile a sacrifice to The D.
- It's Personal: He and Allah Gold have a history, and it's clearly not a good one. According to The, he's hated Allah Gold ever since they last saw each other.
- No-Nonsense Nemesis: Tells Allah Gold that he'll cut him up rough. Of course, in the end, it's he who gets cut up.
- No Pronunciation Guide: Its not clear whether you're supposed to pronounce his name as The (i.e. The The) or The (i.e. The The).
- Pre Ass Kicking One Liner: "You are a sacrifice article that I cut up rough now." It backfires.
- Psycho Supporter: Has hints of this: he's so doggedly loyal to the D that he considers killing Allah Gold and Ratio Tile a sacrifice to his master. Considering the D's distaste for excessive groveling and flattery, and the fact The outwardly boasted about serving him right to Allah Gold and Ratio Tile's faces, he probably treasured the moment The finally outlived his usefulness and he could at last be rid of the lunatic.
- Spell My Name with a "The": This version of Count Dooku is possibly the most triumphant example of this trope ever created, as he's simply renamed to "The" (although Ratio Tile also addresses him as "Drop" once).
- Token Evil Teammate: To the Abruption Doctrine, as he displays none of the Adaptational Nice Guy treatment that D and Space General got and has hated Allah Gold since he cut off the young Hopeless Situation Warrior's arm despite spending more time fighting Ratio Tile and Vanquish Is in that battle and swears to cut him up rough.
- Unexplained Recovery: According to the extended version of "The Final Hopeless Situation", he, somehow, survived his battle with Allah Gold and fled.
- Villain Respect: Even though he says he "has been hating" Allah Gold, he still pronounces himself "surprised and pleased" to hear that Gold got a promotion (assuming he wasn't being sarcastic), as it means he will be a stronger adversary.
- You Are What You Hate: He asks Ratio Tile to help him destroy the Big, despite being a Big himself. As in the original, he was probably lying at this point.
Nuts Gunray / Ray Gun / Mr. President
A war-hungry president allied with the West. He is responsible for the invasion of South Korea, and later joins the Abruption Doctrine. He is finally killed by South Host once he outlives his usefulness.
- Adaptational Jerkass: The original Gunray was a cowardly executive who blocked Naboo in the search of corporate benefits. Ray Gun, on the other hand, invades South Korea explicitly for his own amusement, with any other benefit being a secondary goal at the best.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: "Ray Gun" sounds like the type of name a '90s Anti-Hero would sport.
- Badass Boast: "I do not know failure."
- Card-Carrying Villain: He states that "invasion is my primary calendar."
- Embarrassing Nickname: "Nuts" Gunray isn't likely to strike fear into the heart of the enemy.
- Meaningful Name: A space warmonger named Ray Gun. Hard to be more explicit.
- Must Have Lots of Free Time: The Plum Of implies that he is invading her home country out of boredom.
- Name's the Same: Not to be confused with Rey, also known as Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder.
- President Evil: Very much so.
- Take That!: An evil president named Ray Gun? Hmmm... (Of course, the original character has been speculated to be a pisstake at Reagan ever since The Phantom Menace came out, but it's never been quite this blatant.)
- Underestimating Badassery: In Ghost The Threat, he tells the captain of the Battle Droids who land on South Korea "be careful. As a Jedi is worthless." This despite having seen the aforementioned Jedi hacking down droves of droids (except for droidekas) on his ship.
Reaching The West Of Reaches / South Host / Reaches of Come / Dark World / Lord Vader / Darth Bader / Reach The West / Darth Vidal / Darth-Weed
A new persona taken up by The Peaceful Is Willing To after he becomes Dark World. He plans to overthrow D the Superior and take his Empire Of The First Choice for himself. Is also famous for not wanting.
- Big DO NOT WANT
- Defiant to the End: Tells Ratio Tile that he'll ruin him even as he lies on the ground wincing in pain from potentally lethal injuries.
- I'll Kill You!: Manages to combine this with Never Say "Die" when he screams that he'll ruin Ratio Tile.
- Malicious Misnaming: Refers to Kunnic as a mere secretary to show how lowly he regards him.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: His full name, "Reaching The West Of Reaches", is only ever said once by The Pudding in the entire series. The rest of the time it's shortened to "Reaches" or "Reach The West" or another name entirely.
- Pulled from Your Day Off: The Rebels just had to attack the Second Station Vagon during his first day of vacation.
- Sincerest Form of Flattery: Believes this. "If you are us, we will be honored."
- The Slacker: When the Station Wagon plans can't be found aboard the ship at the start of The Novelty Desire, he tells his men that "we will not work this time".
- Surprise Incest: He was apparently in a relationship with Leah long before he found out that he was her father.
Drag Along / Vaca / Tsui / Chui / Baca / Chewie / Chuy / Chevrolet / Chevron / W
An alien warrior serving under Particularly Reach the Master. He helps the Hopeless Situation Master get to an airship so he can leave the planet and combat The D.
- The Drag-Along: It's right there in the name.
- Suddenly Speaking: Having been voiceless in the Backstroke of the West, Drag Along says his first lines in The Novelty Desire: "Unfortunately...". He says it eight times! He also says "AA AA AA!", but that probably isn't considered a line.
- In Flies are a Sober Force, he unexpectedly says his ninth line of dialogue: (Greenwood). Even the blog commentary is baffled.
- Take That!:
- The Voiceless: His growls from the film are kept, and he is not given any additional dialogue. This — combined with the lack of an Alternate Character Interpretation from any other character — makes him the Backstroke of the West character most similar to his original counterpart.
This With In / Captain Antilles
- Ambadassador: He is an ambassador — if Reach the West is to be believed — and he remains Defiant to the End.
- Ascended Extra: Downplayed. He doesn't exactly get more screentime, but he becomes more involved in the story as the series goes on.
- Back for the Dead: Is killed by Reach the West in the first six minutes of The Novelty Desire.
- The Caretaker: Senator puts the "childses" under his protection at the end of Backstroke of the West.
- Killed Off for Real: Ends up being executed because he didn't reveal his own location.
- Neck Lift: Ends up on the receiving end of this.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Pretends to not know the true reason why his ship was attacked, and insists that they're not carying The Virus.
- Typhoid Mary: Denies being this.
- Undying Loyalty: In the one scene he has in The Novelty Desire, he proves that he would rather die than sell out his fellow rebels.
- We Hardly Knew You: Appears in only three brief scenes, barely gets any dialogue, then dies.
Gospel of Luke / See Me / The Main Road / Master Gospel Gospel / Luke Skywalker / Samurai Master Lucas Godwalker / The Way To Increase Teachers
The son of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin brother of Bong Day (aka See). He was separated from his sister as a baby and raised in Africa, hidden from Reaching the West of Reaches.
- Asexual: Possibly (although likely not Aromantic since he finds Leah attractive). His line "I cannot like her as needed" implies that he either cannot or is unconfortable with the idea of participating in some forms of a relationship with Eyebrows/Swiss.
- Astrologer: Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder refers to him as "The Master of Astrology".
- Authority in Name Only: Is referred to as "Mr. President", despite only being a farmworker. Perhaps his farm is legally a company?
- Catchphrase: Says "Do not want" more than any other character. Given that both of his parents said it in Backstroke of the West, it might actually be hereditary.
- Dub Name Change: Luke's name was apparently misinterpreted by the translator as "look" (in the way that a person might say "look at me!"), resulting in the name he has in Backstroke of the West.
- Eunuchs Are Evil: A subversion. He lacks a package, which he envies Thoreau for. However, he's always on the side of the Rebellion. His worst moment is refusing to train Swiss or help her redeem Kellogg, and even then he relents and uses the Wish Power to project himself on Crait to distract Kellogg so the Resistance can escape.
- Love at First Sight:
Gospel of Luke: Who is she? She is very sex appeal.
- As in the original film, he has this for Leah. It's taken even further here, though. (Mind you, they are still siblings...).
Gospel Of Luke: I cannot like her as needed.
- He may also have feelings for Eyebrows/Swiss, given that his immediate reaction to meeting her is calling her his wife. It's also possible that he believes Swiss has feelings for him, but he cannot return them.
- Meaningful Name: His father was named Allah, while he is Gospel of Luke, two Abrahamic concepts.
- Our Zombies Are Different: Leah tells him that he died when she was very young.
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: He was raised as a boy up until adulthood, despite his lack of male genitalia. Hopeless Situation Return reveals that he's always been a girl.
- Theme Twin Naming: His original name is See Me, and his sister's is See.
Bong Day / See / Princess Leah / Princess Leia / Liya / Elijah / The Imperial Senate / Li Asia / Levine / Oro O'Ghanner / Leah O'Garner
The daughter of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin sister of Gospel of Luke (aka See Me). She was separated from her brother as a baby and adopted by Senator to hide her from Reaching the West of Reaches.
- Actually a Doombot: During the escape from the First Order's boats, she says this time she was a robot, implying she left a decoy to trick the First Order into believing she perished with the base.
- Adaptational Villainy: Is now a "black imperial agent fuck" who has been spying on the Rebellion, although she makes a HeelFace Turn and joins Gospel and company.
- Dub Name Change: As her brother's name was misinterpreted as "look" by the translator of Backstroke of the West, her name seems to have been misinterpreted as "leer".
- Happily Adopted: See gets adopted by Senator, although it's left a little ambiguous as to whether he just agreed to this so that Blow the Skin would be thrown in as well.
- HeelFace Turn: In The Novelty Desire, despite starting off as an Imperial agent, she winds up joining the Rebellion out of mistreatment by Reach the West. Crosses into High-HeelFace Turn by being the only female Imperial mook shown.
- Honey Trap: Implied to be her main modus operandi, with her being a "black imperial agent fuck" and all.
- I Am the Noun: Claims to be the Imperial Senate, rather than just a member of it. (Ironic, given that the opposite thing happened to one of Palpatine/The D's lines.)
- Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Why she properly joins the Rebellion.
- The Stoner: Strongly implied by her name.
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: She's portrayed as a princess all throughout the series even after Hopeless Situation Return reveals she's actually male.
- Theme Twin Naming: Her original name is See, and her brother's is See Me. Kind of poetic if one thinks about it.
- Extreme Omnivore: Despite his claims of needing a translator, he says he only bought Blow the Skin and R2 so he could eat them.
Governor Darkin / Tarkin
- Meta Guy: He seems to have a high level of Medium Awareness. In The Novelty Desire, he points out that the argument his allies are having on the Station Wagon makes no sense. In Reply is Minus, he invokes Pandering to the Base by explaining to Governor Pryce that a particular plot development was done to "give audience the treat".
- Poke the Poodle: He announces during a meeting that he's making threatening phone calls to local systems.
Aunt Voru / Aunt Sefrou
Reach The Man / Reaching the Man Cloth Space / The Emperor
A strong and big Emperor who could come back from the brink of death and create life using the original dint. He was supposedly killed by his land at least once, but he might still be out there somewhere.
- Ambiguous Situation: R2 is sermingly named after him, but which connection they share is unknown.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: Reach is the man.
- Death Seeker: Might have engineered his own (temporary) death so he could sleep.
- The Emperor: Is said to have held this title. Apparently D inherited it, as he is called the same way.
- Evil Is Bigger: Speaker D said he was big.
- Gaia's Vengeance:
- One possible interpretation of D's claims that Reach the Man was killed by "his land", presumably due to him creating life.
- It's also possible that it was precisely this experiment which gave his land sentiency in the first place, making it a case of Turned Against Their Masters.
- Genius Bruiser: He was a master of Wish Force who could weave life at his whim, and apparently also a big, strong dude as well.
- The Ghost: As in the original, he does not appear onscreen (unless R2 really is him...). However, given that he already resurrected himself once and that D speaks of him in present tense, it is implied he is actually alive somewhere.
- The Insomniac: He apparently had to be killed by his land before he could go to bed. Could also be an example of The Sleepless.
- Mercy Kill: Possibly. Speaker D claims that Reach the Man was killed by his land so he could go to bed.
- Orcus on His Throne: Dialogue both hints and implies him to be alive during the events of the series, but he has no presence in them, possibly because he preferred to pass his title and role to Speaker D.
- Retired Badass: D is now the Emperor, just like Reach used to be, which implies he passed on his title to him and then retired from activity.
- The Strength of Ten Men: D compares his Black Influence understanding to that of "Many Supermans".
- Unexplained Recovery: He apparently lost his power and died at some point, somehow got better, and then was killed a second time so that he could go to bed. It's even possible that he is alive yet again now, since the D refers to him in present tense. Though Allah Gold did say that he could "come back from the brink of death," so nothing of this should be surprising.
The Good Elephant
A mysterious figure connected with the Hopeless Situation, mentioned several times but never seen. Knows how to fly airships. Could be some sort of sacred animal for the Presbyterian Church. May be owned by The Plum Of (Allah Gold talks to her about "your elephant"). Might have had some involvement with the fair that happened the day before the film started.
- Canon Foreigner: Introduced into the story thanks to a translation glitch in the subtitles.Explanation
- Dung Fu: Seems to be skilled in this, probably for being an elephant and well, producing a lot of dung.Allah Gold: The Good Elephant in airship dropped what things?
- FaceHeel Turn: He's mentioned in The Novelty Desire by Mr. Thoreau as working for the Empire. Although, he doesn't seem to have changed otherwise.
- The Ghost: Allah Gold, Ratio Tile and D all talk about the Good Elephant, but we never actually see him.
- Honorable Elephant: Very much regarded this way.
- War Elephants: With the twist of being involved in airship combat.
- You Killed My Father: After turning to the Dark World, Allah Gold suggests the Good Elephant caused his mother's death.Allah Gold: I can't lose again. Your elephant loses my mother so.
- Maybe he assigned the elephant to guard his mother, but he failed to protect her?
Characters Introduced In The Novelty Desire
Mr. Luck Thoreau / Chinese / Korea / Han Cable Luo
Captain of the Falcon Millennium, a boastful starship pilot hired by Ratio Tile to transport himself, Gospel and the robots to Alderaan. His copilot is Drag Along.
- Awesome Mc Coolname: "Luck Thoreau" could qualify.
- Busman's Holiday: His vacation on Hose is disrupted when the Empire invades.
- Deadpan Snarker: Sarcastically asks an unconscious Gospel of Luke for an autograph while rescuing him in The Counterattack Collection
- Somehow manages to make the Roman numeral "XIV" sound sarcastic.
- Do Wrong, Right: Tells his son to trust Snooker/Snoopy because he's abusing his power.
- Hollywood Atheist: Refers to Luke as "Gospel crazy" to Drag Along. Possibly subverted in Flies Are A Sober Force, where he proclaims his knowledge of the Gospel.
- Last-Name Basis: No one ever calls him by his first name, even after he reveals it in The Novelty Desire.
- Odd Friendship: May have one with Snooker/Snoopy, given the fact that he urges his son to trust the former. However, he also tells him that Snoopy is abusing his power
- Related in the Adaptation: Is the child of Java in this version.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: His immediate reaction to the presence of mynocks on the Falcon Millenium is to attempt to abandon the ship.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In The Counterattack Collection. He's completely indifferent to the rebels' cause, preferring to take a vacation instead of helping them with the war effort. He also acts disgusted by Bong Day and taunts her in the hallway. On board the Falcon, he also threatens to have Blow the Skin terminated if he doesn't shut up. He even calls himself a villain to Bong Day when they're on the Falcon.
- He agrees to do "nothing" to help his son in Flies Are A Sober Force. He even plans to abandon him when he's clearly under duress.
- Adaptational Villainy: In this work, the Lars household doesn't buy him because, according to Luke, he had a "crime motive".
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: He's a robot with a crime motive.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Randomly explodes during the trading scene.
- Evil Counterpart: To Reach the Man.
- Made of Explodium: Seemingly, given how he dies.
- Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot: His death — and Gospel's subsequent discovery of his crime record — leads to Owen uncovering the Plus Wow People's nefarious plan to push them.
- Robot Buddy: Theoretically, at least. He never really gets a chance to prove himself.
- The Voiceless: Has no dialogue (well, none that can be understood, at any rate.)
- We Hardly Knew You: Dies in his first scene.
- White and Red and Eerie All Over: He has this color scheme, and he is a bad guy.
Biggs / Bix
- Skewed Priorities: As in the image to the right, he does order a fellow pilot to stop talking, but only in order to speed up the offensive music.
- Name's the Same: Gold Leader is called Jinling, as is someone from Hopeless Situation Return who's told to reproduce.
Java 7 / Java 5 / Advanced Java
- Drugs Are Bad: Inverted. During his discussion with Vader, he suggests himself and his aides to medicate themselves in order to improve their dialectics.
- Related in the Adaptation: He might know the Good Elephant, as he talks about a fair.
Characters Introduced In The Counterattack Collection and Hopeless Situation Return
Lang California / Carly / LAN·card Swiss SIM / Carrisin / Rando / Lando Cary Louisiana /Ran'o
Pakistan Fee Special
- The Sleepless: Implied. Reach the West makes a point of singling him out, saying "No, you can not collapse."
Admiral Ozzel is - if Reach the West is to be believed - "like a clumsy man." This Imperial officer is argumentative and overconfident, and generally refuses to listen to any advice, regardless of where in the command-chain it comes from. He is eventually executed by Reach the West for his many failures.
- Adaptational Dumbass: Somehow accomplishes this by taking the entire Imperial Fleet into a time travel joyride to the future while they're supposed to hunt down the Rebels. To the absolute surprise of no one, this gets him killed by Reach The West. At least the original Ozzel's mistake could be taken as mere clumsiness rather than outright idiocy.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Doesn't really care about the prospect of a star system gaining human form, since the Navy has plenty of weapons capable of killing humans. However, he doesn't live long enough to test out his argument.
- Skewed Priorities: Takes the whole Navy to the future instead of doing his job. Worse, it ends up literally giving the Earth warriors more time to attack.
- Too Dumb to Live: As said above, he was just asking for Reach The West to kill him with all his shenanigans.
- Villainous Crush: Expresses awe at Blow the Skin's looks. He even demands that she join his jazz band.
Characters Introduced In Ghost The Threat and The Duplicate Offensive
Kui Tribute / Qui-Gon
A Hopeless Situation Master sent from Earth to deal with the crises on South Korea. Is also Ratio Tile's teacher, and the one to discover The Peaceful Is Willing To's potential. He is unfortunately killed by The Main West at the end of Ghost The Threat, but it's later implied that he has managed to live on in "another world".
- Ambadassador: He and Ratio Tile are the best ones there are, in his own humble opinion.
- Ambiguously Human: Although he looks human, he claims to be a midi-chlorian. Nothing weird by the standards of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, though.
- Dub Name Change: A notable aversion. He's only referred to by his real name from the movie.
- Restored in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows, where his Wish Power ghost is referred to as Kui Tribute.
- Handicapped Badass: He reveals to Allah Gold at dinner that he's blind.
- Jive Turkey: Uses this to talk down to Bottle when they first meet up."I said. You do not intelligent the speak."
- Misery Builds Character: He believes it, claiming that "Hurt provide benefits to us."
- Named by the Adaptation: Zig Zagged Trope. Backstroke of the West literally cut out the only mention of his name, leading to Ratio Tile mouthing it silently in the dub. The fan prequel Ghost The Threat restores his original name.
- Napoleon Delusion: Downplayed Trope. He briefly believes himself to be the queen (of South Korea, presumably) after running and then having a big sword fight in the middle of the hot desert, but he gets over it before he has time to mention it to anyone.
- Skewed Priorities: Takes a detour from an important mission just to get a tattoo.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Is implied to have had one with Ratio Tile. At the very least, he taught him the art of fucking (and possibly swearing, too). It might also have been what Ratio meant when he said that he "did" Allah Gold's teacher during the latter's youth.
- Tomato in the Mirror: While in Africa, he realizes that he is a "MIDI chlorian".
Bottle / Soldiers Augsburg
Mother of Gold
- Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Rather than happy, she is inexplicably ashamed of Gold's victory in the race, implying she considers the whole thing a disgraceful pastime for Gold to partake in.
- I Have No Son!: Inverted. Her son disowns her when he leaves Africa, saying "I have no mother. I promise." This is partly because she's ashamed of him for winning the Ford race.
An alien Ford Racer pilot and one of The Peaceful Is Willing To's biggest rivals. He seems to be quite a Jerkass.
The Main West / God Hammer
A Big sent to Africa by the West Emperor to hunt down the Plum Of and the two Hopeless Situations protecting her. Later, he partakes in the battle of South Korea, where he kills Qui-Gon and seemingly dies by Ratio Tile's hand.
- Ambiguous Situation: He turns up at the end of Ranger Soro with no explanation whatsoever.
- Awesome McCoolname: At one point, "Lord Maul" is translated as "God Hammer".
- Big Bad: Qui-Gon believes him to be this, judging by the name he gives him. It's unclear if he's right or if The West Emperor is still The Man Behind the Man, as he was in the real movie.
- Death by Adaptation: Played With. He seemed to die in the original film too, but Star Wars: The Clone Wars later revealed that he was still alive. However, it's currently unclear whether or not his return story or its sequels will be translated, so as far as we know, he really is dead. Then again, they Never Found the Body...
- Subverted in Ranger Soro, when he shows up at the end with no explanation.
- Hidden Depths: Qui-Gon mentions that he is a trained artist. This has no real impact on the plot, but it might explain his weird facial markings.
- Small Role, Big Impact: He only appears in one film, but he is responsible not only for the death of Qui-Gon, but for name-dropping the title Backstroke of the West.
Las Vegas Cliegg
- The Gambling Addict: Judging by his nickname.
- Disability Superpower: He can identify the toxic dart despite being blind.
Django Pets / Taunus Pulling (To One Bodgen)
- Ambiguous Syntax: It is unclear whether his job was hiring satellites when his name was Taunus Pulling To One Bogden, or a satellite hirer named Bogden nicknamed him Taunus Pulling.
- Awesomeness by Analysis: His ability to "note" allows him to navigate an asteroid field.
- Boxed Crook: Ratio Tile tries to make him go along with a scheme against Obi-Wan, which involves getting close to him for weeks. The conversation then turns to details about his previous job, suggesting Ratio Tile is trying to blackmail him with that information.
- Given Name Reveal: Tells Ratio Tile what his old name was in a dramatic way.
- Honey Trap: Implied to be the job Ratio Tile wants him to do with Obi-Wan.
- No Respect Guy: Django isn't well-thought of by the Caminoans, who disparagingly refer to him as a "so-called bounty hunter." What we see of his fighting ability sharply contradicts this. However, if we consider that the Caminoans breed entire armies, maybe they simply don't believe a single soldier can serve a purpose regardless how badass he is.
- Unfortunate Names: Going by the surname "Pets" is possibly the reason why the Caminoans consider him unworthy of being a bounty hunter, as he otherwise proves to be a skilled fighter.
- Adaptation Name Change: Possibly the most bewildering one in the whole series.
- The Ghost: Ratio Tile talks of him as if he was alive, unlike the real movie where he was a Posthumous Character, but he still doesn't show up.
- Name's the Same: Don't confuse him with Ratio Tile, who was called Obi-Wan in the original franchise. He's a different character.
- Spared by the Adaptation: He is still alive in this version, as Ratio Tile orders Django to get close to him over the next few weeks. This never goes anywhere, as Django won't follow his script and makes a run for it with his son.
Characters Introduced In Flies Are A Sober Force, The Final Hopeless Situation and The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows
Eyebrows / Swiss / Wait / Thunder / Shooting Line / FireWire / Ray Iraq
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: She likes that Kellogg will bring destruction, suffering and death.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: What her name seems to suggest, although it remains an Informed Trait given that her eyebrows aren't really big.
- Cargo Ship: In The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows, she vows to do Gospel's sword."I will do it. Your brother's sword"
- Cold-Blooded Torture: Orders to torture a droid just for "looking like an individual".
- Clothing Switch: Discussed. She expresses her desire to "Look Skywalker", but Gospel refuses.
- Deadpan Snarker: Refers to the desert wasteland of Jakku as "the beach" in Flies are a Sober Force.
- In a kind of call-back, she does the same in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows when referring to Passa Carolina's "Taboo Sand Desert".
- MayflyDecember Romance: She's apparently Gospel's wife; either that or Gospel is just taunting her.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: She claims to feel like she's "just a waste".
- Lethal Chef: If Marry's blunt critique of her cake is anything to go by, her baking skills leave something to be desired.
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: She's revealed to be the grandson of Speaker D in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
- Suddenly Always Knew That: Is an expert in meteorology, despite being a mere scavenger.
- Unfortunate Names: The other characters for the most part have names that are kind of poetic in a strange way. This poor lady's name (well, one of them, anyway) is Eyebrows. Hers aren't even that impressive!
- Awesome McCoolname: Thankfully, being called Thunder and Ray Iraq more than makes up for this.
- Wins by Doing Absolutely Nothing: She apparently didn't need her lightsaber to fight Kellogg in their first battle. Kellogg took himself out without her needing to lift a finger.
Thoreau Jr. / Kellogg / Classes / Cairo / Bansoro / Solomon class / Ronaldo / John R. Jenkello / Karen / Book
- Adaptational Wimp: Kylo in canon is a moderately trained lightsaber wielder and only lost to Rey due to outside factors crippling him; Kellogg lost to Swiss even though she never grabbed a lightsaber, simply by hitting himself with his own lightsaber.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: He's Gospel's nephew and Reach The West's grandson, so of course he gets to drop at least one "Do not want!" in "The Final Hopeless Situation".
- Brutal Honesty: Tells Wait through their Wish Power Bond that her parents abandoned her way earlier than he does in canon.
- Cannot Talk to Women: Although, in his own words, he has heard a lot about them.
- Celibate Hero: Inverted. He's the supreme readers of the Regime, but gets mad at Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder for not following the Hopeless Situation standards.Kellogg: You are jedi... But you keep cumming other.
- Death Seeker: He abruptly tells Eyebrows that she has to kill him during her interrogation.
- Epic Fail: He lost to Swiss not because she beat him in a lightsaber duel, but because he beat himself with his own lightsaber and knocked himself unconscious.
- Evil Eyebrows: His are noticeable enough that Supreme Readers Snooker points them out.
- Invisibility: Might have this, as Eyebrows comments to Gospel that his body is no longer visible.
- Just Following Orders: Tells Mr. Thoreau that he was assigned. However, he also states that he wants the pain of freedom.
- Meaningful Name: He leads the Regime, which wants to eliminate sex, and carries the name of John Harvey Kellogg, a real life American doctor (yep, the one of the corn flakes) who endorsed male circumcision without anesthetics as a mean to eliminate masturbation.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Urges Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder to do Blackface with him multiple times.
- Shipper on Deck: After being berated by Snooker for losing to Swiss via hitting himself with his own sword and then destroying his helmet, he claims that "he's ready to ship", meaning it's either this trope or he also works at a delivery company.
- The Unintelligible: Just like in the original film, Marry/Poe has a hard time understanding him. Ironically, he now mentions this in a completely different sentence.
Feet of People / Pin / Finland / Needle / Finnish Syrians
- Captain Obvious: Shortly after meeting Jenner, he informs her that "You are you."
- Has a Type: Upon meeting Ross for the first time, he tells her that he "can not resist a hero".
- HeelFace Revolving Door: Whether or not he's on Marry's side or the First Order's seems to vary from moment to moment.
- I'll Kill You!: He takes Marry aside to tell him he wants to destroy him.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Notes that "Everything here is very ridiculous".
- The Starscream: Shortly after defecting, he declares that he and Marry can be the First Order.
Marry / Wave / Daimlun / Slope / El Paso / Singapore
- Anti-Hero: Apparently works for the IRA, yet is with the heroes in the film.
- Depopulation Bomb: Anguishly announces that he has let "everyone be eliminated" as that was a way to save the world.
- The Fatalist: Shortly before starting their mission to Ike's World Gaelic, he tells the members of the rebellion that "for everyone, we are lost".
- Flat "What": His response to Holdo's speech is to ask his robot "What is that?"
- Honest Corporate Executive: He's apparently on the Resistance Board of Directors.
- The Oldest Profession: His previous job apparently consisted of being a "hot girl".
- Only Sane Man: He's one of the few characters that realizes how weird everything around him is while discussing Holdo's plans. However, he doesn't show this side of himself again.
- Porn Stash: He apparently has one which may or may not include pictures of Finland. He gets annoyed with BB-8 when he thinks the robot burnt it all.
- Stepford Smiler: May be one, since he mentions that the attack on Jiajia's boat is sad.
- The Storyteller: Tells Thoreau Jr. that he wants to tell him a story once he's done telling his.
- Token Evil Teammate: Is in the heroes' side, yet he seems to be an IRA terrorist.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Mr. Thoreau tells his son that Snookers apparently must be trusted, though he also abuses his power in the First Order.
- General Ripper: According to "The Final Hopeless Situation", Snooker Supremo "cruelly deployed his army".
- Ice-Cream Koan: Tells Thoreau Jr. to "take nonsense".
- I Have You Now, My Pretty: Despite being the Supreme Readers of an army that seeks to eliminate sex, he seems rather pleased when Eyebrows refuses to be abstinent.Snooker: Correct. Drop everything.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Seems to be aware that Swiss isn't supposed to die in "The Final Hopeless Situation" and outright tells her so.Snooker: You can not die.
- The Quiet One: Notes that he "[speaks] a little".
- Undying Loyalty: Or so he says himself, since "[he] cannot betray".
General Hux / Hussein Hess / The army of Herkus
- Adaptational Sexuality: Downplayed. He was apparently in a relationship with Kellogg prior to the latter's takeover of the First Order.
- Celibate Hero: Inverted. He's a villain who wants to eliminate sex.
- Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: He wants to eliminate sex, in contrast to the D being... well, D the Superior.
- Even Evil Has Standards:
- He mentions in his speech that Snooker's regime has ended intolerance in the galaxy, and that the rich will have their precious cars ended as well.
- In The "Final Hopeless Situation" he's outright horrified at the Resistance Board of Directors for causing The End of the World as We Know It.
- Equal-Opportunity Evil: Mentions that Snooker's regime has ended intolerance.
- Obligatory Swearing: Drops the b-word, like many other military officers in this series.
Maas / Maz
- Skewed Priorities: When everyone is worried about finding the West Emperor, she apparently gets bored and decides to go on an egg hunt instead.
Ross / Rose
- Anything That Moves: She hopes she [...can fist all bad and this beautiful town].
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Neither Finland nor Marry are too fond of her, with the former calling her annoying and the latter asking outright if she's dead yet.
- Spanner in the Works: Or at least the other characters say so, since her own companions would rather let her die and aren't subtle about their disdain towards her.
- Adaptational Jerkass: The original was implied to be just a scoundrel who stole to make a living in his daily life; his decision to betray the Resistance, while morally questionable, was his only way to save himself at the time, and he was visibly not proud of it. This version of him, meanwhile, is a ruthless businessman who profits from slavery and other shady activities, and he openly states he goes around screwing up people without provocation, hinting he was thinking on selling Feet and Ross all the time.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Has no problem revealing he goes around selling good people as slaves.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Implied to have been one in any case. He talks about exporting citrus fruit (possibly a parallel to the United Fruit Company) and has dabbled in the slave trade.
- The Don: Possibly.
- Evil Cripple: A slaver and powerful businessman who claims to suffer from an unspecified medical condition. He might be referring to the original character's stutter, only he doesn't show it this time.
- Evil, Inc.: He runs either one or possibly a criminal syndicate that uses a legitimate fruit company as a front.
- Greed: More so than the original. As far as we know, he's powerful enough to be able to manage his citrus fruit business in prison, and also seems interested in expanding to oil drilling. Clearly he's got all the money in the world and yet still goes as far as to betray allies and sell people into slavery.
- Might as Well Not Be in Prison at All: While in prison he talks about blocking his fruit exports in present-tense, implying he's still running his fruit company even behind bars.
- Mistaken For Royalty: By the First Order.
- The Rich Want to Be Richer: By his own admission, he is already a wealthy businessman, yet he's capable of horrible things only to gain even more money.
- Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Apparently sold 'a good man' into slavery.
- Token Evil Teammate: For the duration of the time he's helping out Finland and Ross, seeing as he openly admits to selling people into slavery even before he betrays them.
Captain Jiajia Di
The Captain of a fearless boat in the First Order.
- Evil Colonialist: Tells Marry that she wants to colonize when she leaves the planet Jimmy.
Characters Introduced In Grand Theft Auto
- Alliterative Name: Piano Prince.
- Casual Kink: Asks Gregory to "give [her] only pain".
- Gender-Blender Name: Fits an Action Girl.
- Musical Theme Naming: Is named after a musical instrument (and surnamed after a singer, too).
- Science Is Bad: She doesn't believe that the big reason is useful.
- Senseless Sacrifice: Demands that her captives kill her and Cassian as soon as they're captured.
- Not So Different: To Piano, regarding their relative ruthlessness and amorality in the name of fighting and surviving the Empire. He even straight-up tells her that they're the same before they head to Scarlett.
- Adaptational Nationality: Quincy is apparently Australian, as he's mentioned as being the secretary of Queensland. He also uses some Australian vernacular. Fittingly, he's played by an Australian actor.
- Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Wants to use the Dead Star to destroy... a satellite.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Claims to want to bring peace and security to the Milky Way.
- Adaptational Jerkass: While still working for the Rebel Alliance, Old K initally rescues Piano to become a sex worker. It's a good thing the Rebel Alliance had another use for her.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Tends to use longer, fancier words than his counterpart in the original.
- Shipper on Deck: Thinks Cassian should keep Piano in his arms.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Greets a squad of stormtroopers with "Alas yo."
Xi Lu Yingwei
- You Are Too Late: Comments that "[he] feels quite late". It's not specified for what though, as the sentence ends there.
Gregory / Sophie / Soglila / Sorrera / Sogrel / Sogelui / Soglina / Sogui Rui / Guarrera / Guerui La / Soglilla
Characters introduced in Ranger Soro
Chi La / Qi
Kleinden Worth / Drayden Voss / Durden / de Wright
Characters Introduced In The Mendelssohn
Mendel / Jilgim
A Mendelssohn who worked previously as a designer and now is an accountant who fishes for pleasure and hosts a radio show. Finds The Boy on one of his travels and decides to cultivate it.
- Adaptational Skill: Apparently worked/works as a designer, accountant, fisherman, and radio host according to different people.
Characters Introduced In Reply is minus
Ezra / Era Bridge
- FaceHeel Turn: According to a Hopeless Situation Temple Guard, he'll stop being a Christian and start worshipping the devil in the future.
- The Illegal: Wants to go to the United States.
- Hidden Depths: He's a good dancer who also has a worshipper who believes him to be divine.
- Precocious Crush: Has one on Chicken Jarrus and even wants to fuck him.
- Skewed Priorities: Hanging from a cliff doesn't stop him from trying to paint the rocks. Also, in spite of looking for advice from Vanquish Is, he also asks him if it's wrong to bathe in the Hopeless Situation.
- The Slacker: He's one until he decides to work in a planet in "Dark Envelope", he's stopped from this by the Inquisition from the Empire of the First Choice.
- The Alcoholic: He apparently is this to the point that Ezra almost calls Alcoholic Anonymous to treat him.
- Boomerang Bigot: Apparently hates blind people, despite him being blind since his duel with God Hammer.
- Embarrassing First Name: "Chicken" isn't exactly a name befitting a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
- Extreme Omnisexual: He once masturbated to Hopeless Situation knowledge.