Characters from The Star War Gatherings, including The Novelty Desire and ''The Counterattack Collection.
Backstroke of the West has its own page, which can be viewed here.
Characters Introduced In The Novelty Desire
Bong Day / See / Princess Leah / Princess Leia / Reiah / Liya / Elijah / The Imperial Senate / Rhea / Ria / Li Asia / Lia / Levine / Oro O'Ghanner / Leah O'Garner
The daughter of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin sister of Gospel of Luke (aka See Me). She was separated from her brother as a baby and adopted by Senator to hide her from Reaching the West of Reaches. Reach the West claims her as his ex.
- Actually a Doombot: During the escape from the First Order's boats, she says this time she was a robot, implying she left a decoy to trick the First Order into believing she perished with the base.
- Adaptational Villainy: Is now a "black imperial agent fuck" who has been spying on the Rebellion, although she makes a Heel–Face Turn and joins Gospel and company.
- Beyond the Impossible: Managed to give birth to Kellog despite being a man in this continuity.
- Dub Name Change: As her brother's name was misinterpreted as "look" by the translator of Backstroke of the West, her name seems to have been misinterpreted as "leer."
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Leah is actually male, as Hopeless Situation Return reveals.
- Happily Adopted: See gets adopted by Senator, although it's left a little ambiguous as to whether he just agreed to this so that Blow the Skin would be thrown in as well.
- Heel–Face Turn: In The Novelty Desire, despite starting off as an Imperial agent, she winds up joining the Rebellion out of mistreatment by Reach the West. Crosses into High-Heel–Face Turn by being the only female Imperial mook shown.
- Honey Trap: Implied to be her main modus operandi, with her being a "black imperial agent fuck" and all.
- Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Why she properly joins the Rebellion.
- I Am the Noun: Claims to be the Imperial Senate, rather than just a member of it. (Ironic, given that the opposite thing happened to one of Palpatine/The D's lines.)
- Only Known by Their Nickname: 'Bong Day' was only mentioned by Blow the Skin in The Novelty Desire and not in subsequent dubs. She or he is known by other names, most predominantly 'Princess Leah.'
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: She's portrayed as a princess all throughout the series even after Hopeless Situation Return reveals she's actually male.
- Related in the Adaptation: She might know the Good Elephant, as she yells about the day after the fair to Gospel.
- Theme Twin Naming: Her original name is See, and her brother's is See Me. Kind of poetic if one thinks about it.
- The Stoner: Being named "Bong Day" and calling herself "a great lighter" strongly imply that she counts as one.
- Surprise Incest: As remarked by Reaching The West Of Reaches - she was his ex.
This With In / Captain Antilles
- Ambadassador: He is an ambassador — if Reach the West is to be believed — and he remains Defiant to the End.
- Ascended Extra: Downplayed. He doesn't exactly get more screentime, but he becomes more involved in the story as the series goes on.
- Back for the Dead: Is killed by Reach the West in the first six minutes of The Novelty Desire.
- The Caretaker: Senator puts the "childses" under his protection at the end of Backstroke of the West.
- Killed Off for Real: Ends up being executed because he didn't reveal his own location.
- Neck Lift: Ends up on the receiving end of this.
- Obfuscating Stupidity: Pretends to not know the true reason why his ship was attacked, and insists that they're not carying The Virus.
- Typhoid Mary: Denies being this.
- Undying Loyalty: In the one scene he has in The Novelty Desire, he proves that he would rather die than sell out his fellow rebels.
- We Hardly Knew You: Appears in only three brief scenes, barely gets any dialogue, then dies.
Gospel of Luke / See Me / Who / The Main Road / Master Gospel Gospel / Peter / Luke Skywalker /The Empress of Tokyo / No Need / Samurai Master Lucas Godwalker / Look Skywalker / The Way To Increase Teachers / Luke Day Trip
The son of Allah Gold and The Plum Of, twin brother of Bong Day (aka See). He was separated from his sister as a baby and raised in Africa by his aunt and uncle, hidden from Reaching the West of Reaches.
- Adaptational Nice Guy: A minor case. In The Final Hopeless Situation he tells Swiss to do what she thinks is impossible, as opposed to the original movie, where he tries to stop her by telling her that her plan won't go the way she thinks.
- Astrologer: Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder refers to him as "The Master of Astrology."
- Authority in Name Only: Is referred to as "Mr. President", despite only being a farmworker. Perhaps his farm is legally a company?
- Bifauxnen: Looks like a young man, but is actually female.
- Catchphrase: Says "Do not want" more than any other character. Given that both of his parents said it in Backstroke of the West, it might actually be hereditary.
- Disabled in the Adaptation: Or rather, Disabled Earlier in the Adaptation. Following the lightsaber practice session in The Novelty Desire, Ratio proudly declares that Gospel has lost his first foot.
- Dub Name Change: Luke's name was apparently misinterpreted by the translator as "look" (in the way that a person might say "look at me!"), resulting in the name he has in Backstroke of the West.
- Eunuchs Are Evil: A subversion. He lacks a package, which he envies Thoreau for. However, he's always on the side of the Rebellion. His worst moment is refusing to train Swiss or help her redeem Kellogg, and even then he relents and uses the Wish Power to project himself on Crait to distract Kellogg so the Resistance can escape. Subverted even further in Hopeless Situation Return, as it turns out that Gospel is female.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Calls himself "a failed terminator" in The Counterattack Collection.
- I Have Many Names: Just like Allah Gold.
- Lady Looks Like a Dude: Definitely. Gospel even has a beard in Final Hopeless Situation.
- Love at First Sight:
- As in the original film, he has this for Leah. It's taken even further here, though. (Mind you, they are still siblings...).
Gospel of Luke: Who is she? She is very sex appeal.- He may also have feelings for Eyebrows/Swiss, given that his immediate reaction to meeting her is calling her his wife. It's also possible that he believes Swiss has feelings for him, but he cannot return them.
Gospel Of Luke: I cannot like her as needed. - Meaningful Name: His father was named Allah, while he is Gospel of Luke, two Abrahamic concepts.
- Our Zombies Are Different: Leah tells him that he died when she was very young.
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: He was raised as a boy up until adulthood, despite his lack of male genitalia. Hopeless Situation Return reveals that he's always been a girl.
- Theme Twin Naming: His original name is See Me, and his sister's is See.
- Unexplained Recovery: According to Bong Day, she died when he was very young. This does nothing to slow her down.
Uncle Owen
- Extreme Omnivore: Despite his claims of needing a translator, he says he only bought Blow the Skin and R2 so he could eat them.
Aunt Voru / Aunt Sefrou
Mr. Luck Thoreau / Chinese / Korea / Hunt / Han Cable Luo
Captain of the Falcon Millennium, a boastful starship pilot hired by Ratio Tile to transport himself, Gospel and the robots to Alderaan. His copilot is Drag Along.
- Ambiguously Bi: In The Novelty Desire, he asks Gospel of Luke "Do you think guys like me?" Gospel shuts down the discussion with a curt "Do not want!"
- Busman's Holiday: His vacation on Hose is disrupted when the Empire invades.
- Deadpan Snarker: Sarcastically asks an unconscious Gospel of Luke for an autograph while rescuing him in The Counterattack Collection. He somehow manages to make the Roman numeral "XIV" sound sarcastic.
- Do Wrong, Right: Tells his son to trust Snooker/Snoopy because he's abusing his power.
- Hollywood Atheist: Refers to Luke as "Gospel crazy" to Drag Along. Possibly subverted in Flies Are A Sober Force, where he proclaims his knowledge of the Gospel.
- Last-Name Basis: No one ever calls him by his first name, even after he reveals it in The Novelty Desire.
- Odd Friendship: May have one with Snooker/Snoopy, given the fact that he urges his son to trust the former. However, he also tells him that Snoopy is abusing his power
- Related in the Adaptation: Is the child of Java in this version.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here: His immediate reaction to the presence of mynocks on the Falcon Millenium is to attempt to abandon the ship.
- The Mentally Disturbed: Admits that he suffers from depression in Ranger Soro.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: In The Counterattack Collection, he's completely indifferent to the rebels' cause, preferring to take a vacation instead of helping them with the war effort. He also acts disgusted by Bong Day and taunts her in the hallway. On board the Falcon, he also threatens to have Blow the Skin terminated if he doesn't shut up. He even calls himself a villain to Bong Day when they're on the Falcon.
- He agrees to do "nothing" to help his son in Flies Are A Sober Force. He even plans to abandon him when he's clearly under duress.
Drag Along / Vaca / Tsui / Chui / Baca / Chubaka / Chewie / Chuy / Chevrolet / Chevron / W
An alien warrior serving under Particularly Reach the Master. He helps the Hopeless Situation Master get to an airship so he can leave the planet and combat The D.
- Catchphrase: Unfortunately.
- The Drag-Along: It's right there in the name.
- Suddenly Speaking: Having been The Voiceless in the Backstroke of the West, Drag Along says his first lines in The Novelty Desire: "Unfortunately...". He says it eight times! He also says "AA AA AA!", but that probably isn't considered a line.
- In Flies are a Sober Force, he unexpectedly speaks: (Greenwood).Even the blog commentary is baffled.
- Take That!:
- His Adaptation Name Change may have been one of these.
- The subtitles of Flies are a Sober Force take several potshots at him, claiming "Chewie is dog feces", "Chewie is damn" and "Chewie smoothly dog feces".
- The Voiceless: His growls from the film are kept, and he is not given any additional dialogue. This — combined with the lack of an Alternate Character Interpretation from any other character — makes him the Backstroke of the West character most similar to his original counterpart.
Wedge
- Dub Name Change: Averted. He gets to keep his original name.
Red
- Adaptational Villainy: In this work, the Lars household doesn't buy him because, according to Luke, he had a "crime motive".
- A.I. Is a Crapshoot: He's a robot with a crime motive.
- Dropped a Bridge on Him: Randomly explodes during the trading scene.
- Evil Counterpart: To Reach the Man.
- Made of Explodium: Seemingly, given how he dies.
- Minor Crime Reveals Major Plot: His death — and Gospel's subsequent discovery of his crime record — leads to Owen uncovering the Plus Wow People's nefarious plan to push them.
- Robot Buddy: Theoretically, at least. He never really gets a chance to prove himself.
- Robotic Psychopath: Has a "crime motive".
- The Voiceless: Has no dialogue (well, none that can be understood, at any rate.)
- We Hardly Knew You: Dies in his first scene.
- White and Red and Eerie All Over: He has this color scheme, and he is a bad guy.
Red Leader
- Skewed Priorities: As in the image to the right, he does order a fellow pilot to stop talking, but only in order to speed up the offensive music.
Jinling
- One-Steve Limit: Gold Leader is called Jinling, as is someone from Hopeless Situation Return who's told to reproduce.
Governor Darkin / Tarkin
- Meta Guy: He seems to have a high level of Medium Awareness. In The Novelty Desire, he points out that the argument his allies are having on the Station Wagon makes no sense. In Reply is Minus, he invokes Pandering to the Base by explaining to Governor Pryce that a particular plot development was done to "give audience the treat".
- No-Respect Guy: At one point in Reply is Minus, Pryce bluntly calls him an idiot, and in The Novelty Desire Tagge tells him to get banged. Despite being of higher rank than them, he just sits there and takes it.
- Poke the Poodle: He announces during a meeting that he's making threatening phone calls to local systems.
General Tagge
- Distracted by the Sexy: He makes a point of informing his fellow officers that the Rebel Alliance has good arms.
- You Need to Get Laid: Tells Darkin to get banged during their meeting.
Admiral Motti
- Drugs Are Bad: Inverted. During his discussion with Vader, he suggests himself and his aides to medicate themselves in order to improve their dialectics.
Java 7 / Java 5 / Advanced Java
- Adaptational Job Change: He seems to be a computer programmer now, considering his name.
- Meaningful Name: The original Jabba was an Orientalist stereotype, and this time he's named Java, an island of Indonesia.
- Related in the Adaptation: Apparently, Mr. Thoreau is his child.
- Shout-Out: He shares a name with the Java programming language.
Greedo
- Related in the Adaptation: He might know the Good Elephant, as he talks about a day after the fair.
Characters Introduced in The Counterattack Collection and Hopeless Situation Return
Lang California / Carly / Lanta / LAN·card Swiss SIM / Carrisin / Rondo / Rando / Lando Cary Louisiana /Ran'o
- Cryptic Background Reference: Mentions briefly at the end of The Counterattack Collection that he was once a "special person" named Jabba Kazuna.
- Gender-Blender Name: Carly.
- Theme Naming: His last name is translated as two different U.S. states: Lang California and Lando Cary Louisiana.
- The Pornomancer: Asks how he can "Do Chewbacca" right to his face. He also runs an "Empire of Love", and asks his guests "What is your appetite for the best way to enjoy yourself?"
- Really Gets Around: Most likely part of being in charge of an "Empire of Love".
- Working-Class Hero: Whereas in the original film he was the governor of Cloud City, here he's apparently the manager of a factory.
Pakistan Fee Special
- The Sleepless: Implied. Reach the West makes a point of singling him out, saying "No, you can not collapse."
Ozzel
Admiral Ozzel is - if Reach the West is to be believed - "like a clumsy man." This Imperial officer is argumentative and overconfident, and generally refuses to listen to any advice, regardless of where in the command-chain it comes from. He is eventually executed by Reach the West for his many failures.
- Adaptational Dumbass: Somehow accomplishes this by taking the entire Imperial Fleet, well Bader's fleet, into a time travel joyride to the future while they're supposed to hunt down the Rebels. To the absolute surprise of no one, this gets him killed by Reach The West. At least the original Ozzel's mistake could be taken as mere clumsiness rather than outright idiocy.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Doesn't really care about the prospect of a star system gaining human form, since the Navy has plenty of weapons capable of killing humans. However, he doesn't live long enough to test out his argument.
- Dub Name Change: Averted. He gets to keep his original name.
- Skewed Priorities: Takes the whole Navy to the future instead of doing his job. Worse, it ends up literally giving the Earth warriors more time to attack.
- Too Dumb to Live: As said above, he was just asking for Reach The West to kill him with all his shenanigans.
The Head of the Medical Group / Admiral
A competent and loyal officer on the Executor who gets promoted as commander of the operation after Ozzel is choked to death.
- Character Death: Killed as a Rebel/Union boat crashes into his boat.
- Cowardly Lion: Has that face in The Counterattack Collection as he serves under Lord Bader.
- Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation: He's called "The Head of the Medical Group" in The Counterattack Collection, but in that movie and Hopeless Situation Return, there's never a scene where he commands medical operations.
- You Are in Command Now: Bader immediately puts him in command after choking Ozzel.
Lord Vader
- Ambiguous Situation: Either he just happens to have the same name as Reach the West, or he's attempting to impersonate Reach the West while standing right in front of him. Maybe it is some kind of watchword he and Reach the West share?
- One-Steve Limit: Is also called Lord Vader, a name shared with Reach The West/Lord Bader.
EV-9D9
- Villainous Crush: Expresses awe at Blow the Skin's looks. He even demands that she join his jazz band.
Characters Introduced in Ghost The Threat and The Duplicate Offensive
Kui Tribute / Qui-Gon
A Hopeless Situation Master sent from Earth to deal with the crises on South Korea. Is also Ratio Tile's teacher, and the one to discover The Peaceful Is Willing To's potential. He is unfortunately killed by The Main West at the end of Ghost The Threat, but it's later implied that he has managed to live on in "another world".
- Ambadassador: He and Ratio Tile are the best ones there are, in his own humble opinion.
- Ambiguously Human: Although he looks human, he claims to be a MIDI chlorian. Nothing weird by the standards of the Hopeless Situation Warriors, though.
- Disabled in the Adaptation: Unlike his canonical counterpart, whose eyesight worked just fine, he makes a point of letting the young Allah Gold know that he can no longer see.
- Handicapped Badass: He reveals to Allah Gold at dinner that he's blind, though his lack of vision does absolutely nothing to hinder his prowess as a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
- Human Aliens: He looks indistinguishable from a normal human, despite possibly being a MIDI chlorian.
- Jive Turkey: Uses this to talk down to Bottle when they first meet up."I said. You do not intelligent the speak."
- Misery Builds Character: He believes it, claiming that "Hurt provide benefits to us."
- Named by the Adaptation: Zig-Zagged Trope. Backstroke of the West literally cut out the only mention of his name, leading to Ratio Tile mouthing it silently in the dub. The fan prequel Ghost The Threat restores his original name.
- Napoleon Delusion: Downplayed Trope. He briefly believes himself to be the queen (of South Korea, presumably) after running and then having a big sword fight in the middle of the hot desert, but he gets over it before he has time to mention it to anyone.
- Skewed Priorities: Takes a detour from an important mission just to get tattoos.
- Teacher/Student Romance: Is implied to have had one with Ratio Tile. At the very least, he taught him the art of fucking (and possibly swearing, too). It might also have been what Ratio meant when he said that he "did" Allah Gold's teacher during the latter's youth.
- Tomato in the Mirror: While in Africa, he realizes that he is a "MIDI chlorian."
Bottle / Soldiers Augsburg
- The Alcoholic: He's nicknamed Bottle and clearly looks a bit off through the entire film.
- Innocently Insensitive: He asks The Plum Of if her name is Hussein — which is a male name. She doesn't seem to mind.
- Likes Older Women: In his words, he's "DOEN [sic] a housewife!"
Climbing nak
- Captain Obvious: When Ray Gun plans to invade South Korea and cuts off all external communication, he tells The Plum Of "This is a situation, Your Highness."
Mother of Gold
- Adaptational Jerkass: While Shmi was understandably worried about Anakin competing in something as dangerous as a podrace, she's nonetheless proud of him when he wins the race. Mother of Gold, on the other hand, bluntly tells Allah Gold that he has brought shame with his victory.
- Fantasy-Forbidding Father: Rather than happy, she's inexplicably ashamed of Gold's victory in the race, implying she considers the whole thing a disgraceful pastime for Gold to partake in.
- I Have No Son!: Inverted. Her son disowns her when he leaves Africa, saying "I have no mother. I promise." This is partly because she's ashamed of him for winning the Ford race.
- Missing Mom: Allah Gold tells The Plum Of that the Good Elephant lost her.
Sebulba
An alien Ford Racer pilot and one of Allah Gold's biggest rivals. He seems to be quite a Jerkass.
- And I'm the Queen of Sheba: In a rather Dadaist way. Says that if The Peaceful Is Willing To isn't a slave, he will now pumpkin.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: The blog commentary interprets Sebulba's pumpkin line as him threatening to celebrate Halloween.
- Dub Name Change: Averted. He gets to keep his original name.
- Mooning: The Peaceful Is Willing To claims, in his own words, that Sebulba flashed him with his hole during a previous race.
The Main West / God Hammer / Mal / Lord Mall
A Big sent to Africa by the West Emperor to hunt down the Plum Of and the two Hopeless Situations protecting her. Later, he partakes in the battle of South Korea, where he kills Qui-Gon and seemingly dies by Ratio Tile's hand.
- Adaptation Explanation Extrication: Maul was revealed to be alive in Star Wars: The Clone Wars, but as that hasn't been translated, God Hammer is revealed to be alive in Ranger Soro without any explanation. Slightly subverted due to season 7 of The Clone Wars being translated.
- Ambiguous Situation: He turns up at the end of Ranger Soro with no explanation whatsoever.
- Big Bad: Qui-Gon believes him to be this, judging by the name he gives him. It's unclear if he's right or if The West Emperor is still The Man Behind the Man, as he was in the real movie.
- Death by Adaptation: Played With. He seemed to die in the original film too, but Star Wars: The Clone Wars later revealed that he was still alive. However, it's currently unclear whether or not his return story or its sequels will be translated, so as far as we know, he really is dead. Then again, they Never Found the Body...
- Subverted in Ranger Soro, when he shows up at the end with no explanation.
- Hidden Depths: Qui-Gon mentions that he is a trained artist. This has no real impact on the plot, but it might explain his weird facial markings.
- Small Role, Big Impact: He only appears in one film, but he is responsible not only for the death of Qui-Gon, but for name-dropping the title Backstroke of the West.
Las Vegas Cliegg
- Dub Name Change: Downplayed. He gets to keep his first name, but its becomes his last name while his first name is changed to Las Vegas. Unless that’s a nickname.
- The Gambling Addict: Judging by his nickname.
Dexamethasone
- Disability Superpower: He can identify Django's toxic dart despite being blind.
- Disabled in the Adaptation: In canon, there was nothing to indicate that Dex had any problems with his sight. Dexamethasone, on the other hand, straight up tells Ratio Tile that he can no longer see.
Django Pets / Taunus Pulling (To One Bodgen)
A bounty hunter, and the father of Pakistan Fee Special.
- Ambiguous Syntax: It's unclear whether his job was hiring satellites when his name was Taunus Pulling To One Bogden, or a satellite hirer named Bogden nicknamed him Taunus Pulling.
- Awesomeness by Analysis: His ability to "note" allows him to navigate an asteroid field.
- Boxed Crook: Ratio Tile tries to make him go along with a scheme against Obi-Wan, which involves getting close to him for weeks. The conversation then turns to details about his previous job, suggesting Ratio Tile is trying to blackmail him with that information.
- Given Name Reveal: Tells Ratio Tile what his old name was in a dramatic way.
- Honey Trap: Implied to be the job Ratio Tile wants him to do with Obi-Wan.
- Mundane Made Awesome: How else would you describe someone randomly revealing their former name in a dramatic manner?
- No-Respect Guy: Django isn't well-thought of by the Caminoans, who disparagingly refer to him as a "so-called bounty hunter." What we see of his fighting ability sharply contradicts this. However, if we consider that the Caminoans breed entire armies, maybe they simply don't believe a single soldier can serve a purpose regardless how badass he is.
- Unfortunate Names: Going by the surname "Pets" is possibly the reason why the Caminoans consider him unworthy of being a bounty hunter, as he otherwise proves to be a skilled fighter.
Obi-Wan
- Adaptation Name Change: Possibly the most bewildering one in the whole series.
- The Ghost: Ratio Tile talks of him as if he was alive, unlike the real movie where he was a Posthumous Character, but he still doesn't show up.
- One-Steve Limit: Don't confuse him with Ratio Tile, who was called Obi-Wan in the original franchise. He's a different character.
- Spared by the Adaptation: He is still alive in this version, as Ratio Tile orders Django to get close to him over the next few weeks. This never goes anywhere, as Django won't follow his script and makes a run for it with his son.
Characters Introduced in Flies Are A Sober Force, The Final Hopeless Situation and The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows
Eyebrows / Swiss / Thunder / Wait / Shooting Line / FireWire / Ray Iraq / Lei
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: She likes that Kellogg will bring destruction, suffering and death.
- Badass Boast: She proclaims herself to be "Jedi Wushi" during the climax of The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: What her name seems to suggest, although it remains an Informed Attribute given that her eyebrows aren't really big.
- Cargo Ship: In The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows, she vows to do Gospel's sword."I will do it. Your brother's sword"
- Cold-Blooded Torture: Orders to torture a droid just for "looking like an individual".
- Clothing Switch: Discussed. She expresses her desire to "Look Skywalker", but Gospel refuses.
- Deadpan Snarker: Refers to the desert wasteland of Jakku as "the beach" in Flies are a Sober Force.
- In a kind of call-back, she does the same in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows when referring to Passa Carolina's "Taboo Sand Desert."
- Mayfly–December Romance: She's apparently Gospel's wife; either that or Gospel is just taunting her.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: She claims to feel like she's "just a waste."
- Individuality Is Illegal: Tortures a droid for looking like an individual.
- Lethal Chef: If Marry's blunt critique of her cake is anything to go by, her baking skills leave something to be desired.
- Raised as the Opposite Gender: She's revealed to be the grandson of Speaker D in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
- Really Gets Around: According to Kellogg, she breaks a few too many Hopeless Situation rules for his liking.Kellogg: You are jedi... But you keep cumming other.
- Suddenly Always Knew That: Is an expert in meteorology, despite being a mere scavenger.
- Unfortunate Names: The other characters for the most part have names that are kind of poetic in a strange way. This poor lady's name (well, one of them, anyway) is Eyebrows. Hers aren't even that impressive!
- Wins by Doing Absolutely Nothing: If Snooker is to be believed, she apparently didn't need her lightsaber to fight Kellogg in their first battle. Kellogg took himself out without her needing to lift a finger.
Thoreau Jr. / Kellogg / Classes / Cairo / Bansoro / Carlo / Solomon class / Ronaldo / London Kellogg / Kellogg-Jan / Padin / John R. Jenkello / Karen / Book
- Adaptational Wimp: Kylo in canon is a moderately trained lightsaber wielder and only lost to Rey due to outside factors crippling him; Kellogg lost to Swiss even though she never grabbed a lightsaber, simply by hitting himself with his own lightsaber, although that could just have been Snooker gaslighting him.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: He's Gospel's nephew and Reach The West's grandson, so of course he gets to drop at least one "Do not want!" in The Final Hopeless Situation.
- Brutal Honesty: Tells Wait through their Wish Power Bond that her parents abandoned her way earlier than he does in canon.
- Cannot Talk to Women: Although, in his own words, he has heard a lot about them.
- Celibate Hero: Inverted. He's the supreme readers of the Regime, but gets mad at Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder for not following the Hopeless Situation standards.Kellogg: You are jedi... But you keep cumming other.
- Death Seeker: He abruptly tells Eyebrows that she has to kill him during her interrogation.
- Epic Fail: He lost to Swiss not because she beat him in a lightsaber duel, but because he beat himself with his own lightsaber and knocked himself unconscious.
- Evil Eyebrows: His are noticeable enough that Supreme Readers Snooker points them out.
- Gender-Blender Name: The subtitles refer to him as Karen a few times in The Emergence of the Weather by the Rows.
- Invisibility: Might have this, as Eyebrows comments to Gospel that his body is no longer visible.
- Just Following Orders: Tells Mr. Thoreau that he was assigned. However, he also states that he wants the pain of freedom.
- Meaningful Name: He leads the Regime, which wants to eliminate sex, and carries the name of John Harvey Kellogg, a real life American doctor (yep, the one of the corn flakes) who endorsed male circumcision, without anesthetics even, as a mean to eliminate masturbation.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: Urges Eyebrows/Swiss/Thunder to do Blackface with him multiple times.
- Shipper on Deck: After being berated by Snooker for losing to Swiss via hitting himself with his own sword and then destroying his helmet, he claims that "he's ready to ship", meaning it's either this trope or he also works at a delivery company.
- The Unintelligible: Just like in the original film, Marry/Poe has a hard time understanding him. Ironically, he now mentions this in a completely different sentence.
- Unexplained Recovery: According to Kellogg himself, he was killed along with his twin son. This does nothing to slow him down.
Feet of People / Pin / Finland / Needle / Finnish Syrians
- Captain Obvious: Shortly after meeting Jenner, he informs her that "You are you."
- Disabled in the Adaptation: Ross instructs him to turn on his machine foot during the battle of Crait, implying that unlike his canonical counterpart, Feet of People is an amputee.
- Has a Type: Upon meeting Ross for the first time, he tells her that he "can not resist a hero."
- Heel–Face Revolving Door: Whether or not he's on Marry's side or the First Order's seems to vary from moment to moment.
- I'll Kill You!: He takes Marry aside to tell him he wants to destroy him, though he refrains from actually following through on the threat.
- Lame Comeback: While it's nowhere near the level of Space General calling Allah Gold a smelly boy, his reaction to Fasma calling him a system of pests is simply to tell her "Do not speak nonsense, intelligent mind."
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Notes that "Everything here is very ridiculous."
- The Starscream: Shortly after defecting, he declares that he and Marry can be the First Order.
Marry / Wave / Daimlun / Slope / El Paso / Singapore
- Anti-Hero: Apparently works for the IRA, yet is with the heroes in the film.
- Depopulation Bomb: Anguishly announces that he has let "everyone be eliminated" as that was a way to save the world.
- The Fatalist: Shortly before starting their mission to Ike's World Gaelic, he tells the members of the rebellion that "for everyone, we are lost."
- Flat "What": His response to Holdo's speech is to ask his robot "What is that?"
- Honest Corporate Executive: He's apparently on the Resistance Board of Directors.
- The Oldest Profession: His previous job apparently consisted of being a "hot girl."
- Only Sane Man: He's one of the few characters that realizes how weird everything around him is while discussing Holdo's plans. However, he doesn't show this side of himself again.
- Porn Stash: He apparently has one which may or may not include pictures of Finland. He gets annoyed with BB-8 when he thinks the robot burnt it all.
- Stepford Smiler: May be one, since he mentions that the attack on Jiajia's boat is sad.
- The Storyteller: Tells Thoreau Jr. that he wants to tell him a story once he's done telling his.
- Token Evil Teammate: Is on the heroes' side, yet he seems to be an IRA terrorist.
Supreme Readers Snooker / Snoopy / Snooker Supremo / Top Leadership / Sri Lanka Knox
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Mr. Thoreau tells his son that Snookers apparently must be trusted, though he also abuses his power in the First Order.
- The Dragon: Unlike Snoke, who was a Puppet King, Snooker appears to be aware of the fact that he's working for the D, and openly speaks about it in front of Kellogg.
- General Ripper: According to "The Final Hopeless Situation", Snooker Supremo "cruelly deployed his army".
- Ice-Cream Koan: Tells Thoreau Jr. to "take nonsense".
- I Have You Now, My Pretty: Despite being the Supreme Readers of an army that seeks to eliminate sex, he seems rather pleased when Eyebrows refuses to be abstinent.Snooker: Correct. Drop everything.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: Seems to be aware that Swiss isn't supposed to die in "The Final Hopeless Situation" and outright tells her so.Snooker: You can not die.
- The Quiet One: Notes that he "[speaks] a little".
- Undying Loyalty: Or so he says himself, since "[he] cannot betray."
BB-8
- Character Blog: Almost an Inverted Trope. He's a blogger In-Universe, but doesn't have a blog in Real Life. (At least not this version of the character.)
General Hux / Hussein Hess / The army of Herkus
- Adaptational Sexuality: Downplayed. He was apparently in a relationship with Kellogg prior to the latter's takeover of the First Order.
- Celibate Hero: Inverted. He's a villain who wants to eliminate sex.
- Contrasting Sequel Antagonist: He wants to eliminate sex, in contrast to The D being... well, The D.
- Even Evil Has Standards:
- He mentions in his speech that Snooker's regime has ended intolerance in the galaxy, and that the rich will have their precious cars ended as well.
- In The Final Hopeless Situation, he's outright horrified at the Resistance Board of Directors for causing The End of the World as We Know It.
- Equal-Opportunity Evil: Mentions that Snooker's regime has ended intolerance.
- Obligatory Swearing: Drops the b-word, like many other military officers in this series.
Maas / Maz
- Skewed Priorities: When everyone is worried about finding the West Emperor, she apparently gets bored and decides to go on an egg hunt instead.
Ross / Rose
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Neither Finland nor Marry are too fond of her, with the former calling her annoying and the latter asking outright if she's dead yet.
- Spanner in the Works: Or at least the other characters say so, since her own companions would rather let her die and aren't subtle about their disdain towards her.
DJ
- Adaptational Jerkass: The original was implied to be just a scoundrel who stole to make a living in his daily life; his decision to betray the Resistance, while morally questionable, was his only way to save himself at the time, and he was visibly not proud of it. This version of him, meanwhile, is a ruthless businessman who profits from slavery and other shady activities, and he openly states he goes around screwing up people without provocation, hinting he was thinking on selling Feet and Ross all the time.
- Card-Carrying Villain: Has no problem revealing he goes around selling good people as slaves.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Implied to have been one in any case. He talks about exporting citrus fruit (possibly a parallel to the United Fruit Company) and has dabbled in the slave trade.
- The Don: Possibly.
- Evil Cripple: A slaver and powerful businessman who claims to suffer from an unspecified medical condition. He might be referring to the original character's stutter, only he doesn't show it this time.
- Evil, Inc.: He runs either one or possibly a criminal syndicate that uses a legitimate fruit company as a front.
- Greed: More so than the original. As far as we know, he's powerful enough to be able to manage his citrus fruit business in prison, and also seems interested in expanding to oil drilling. Clearly he's got all the money in the world and yet still goes as far as to betray allies and sell people into slavery.
- Might as Well Not Be in Prison at All: While in prison he talks about blocking his fruit exports in present-tense, implying he's still running his fruit company even behind bars.
- Mistaken For Royalty: By the First Order.
- The Rich Want to Be Richer: By his own admission, he is already a wealthy businessman, yet he's capable of horrible things only to gain even more money.
- Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Apparently sold 'a good man' into slavery.
- Token Evil Teammate: For the duration of the time he's helping out Finland and Ross, seeing as he openly admits to selling people into slavery even before he betrays them.
Captain Jiajia Di
The Captain of a fearless boat in the First Order.
- Skewed Priorities: He asks his crew if they can install automatic guns... during the Resistance's attack on his ship.
- Race Lift: Has a Chinese name despite otherwise looking Caucasian.
Zoe/Woman
- Evil Colonialist: Tells Marry that she wants to colonize when she leaves the planet Jimmy.
Jenner
- Adaptational Villainy: In sharp contrast to her canonical counterpart, who defected from the First Order after refusing to execute innocent people, she happily admits to having owning child slaves.
- Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Tells Feet of People that she was recruited just because she owns all the children.
- Time for Plan B: When the rebellion is being overpowered by the Western fleet, she announces her plan B, which apparently consists of "touching her hair."
- Token Evil Teammate: Even moreso than an IRA terrorist like Marry, what with being a child slaver who nonetheless joins forces with the Resistance.
Pride
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Announces his plan to increase the Western fleet sources of funding ten thousand times.
- The Illegal: Proudly announces that he has found his new country.
Characters Introduced in Grand Theft Auto
Piano Prince
- Alliterative Name: Piano Prince.
- Casual Kink: Asks Gregory to "give [her] only pain."
- Gender-Blender Name: Fits an Action Girl.
- Musical Theme Naming: Is named after a musical instrument (and surnamed after a singer, too).
- Science Is Bad: She doesn't believe that the big reason is useful.
- Senseless Sacrifice: Demands that her captives kill her and Cassian as soon as they're captured.
Cassian Andorra
- Mirror Character: To Piano, regarding their relative ruthlessness and amorality in the name of fighting and surviving the Empire. He even straight-up tells her that they're the same before they head to Scarlett.
Quincy Kunnick
- Adaptational Nationality: Quincy is apparently Australian, as he's mentioned as being the secretary of Queensland. He also uses some Australian vernacular. Fittingly, he's played by an Australian actor.
- Cut Lex Luthor a Check: Wants to use the Dead Star to destroy... a satellite.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: Claims to want to bring peace and security to the Milky Way.
Old K
- Adaptational Jerkass: While still working for the Rebel Alliance, Old K initally rescues Piano to become a sex worker. It's a good thing the Rebel Alliance had another use for her.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Tends to use longer, fancier words than his counterpart in the original.
- Shipper on Deck: Thinks Cassian should keep Piano in his arms.
- Sophisticated as Hell: Greets a squad of stormtroopers with "Alas yo."
Bodhi Luke
- Insistent Terminology: Is always referred to as the pilots, plural.
- One-Steve Limit: Shares his name with one of Gospel's many.
Xi Lu Yingwei
- Adaptational Jerkass: The original Chirrut was a benevolent mystic who aided the heroes voluntarily, while here he's just seeking to make a buck.
- Only in It for the Money: Implied. He demands money from Piano to give her an answer.
Bazma Blessed
- You Are Too Late: Comments that "[he] feels quite late." It's not specified for what though, as the sentence ends there.
Gregory / Sophie / Soglila / Sorrera / Sogrel / Sogelui / Soglina / Sogui Rui / Guarrera / Guerui La / Soglilla
- I Have Many Names: His name is translated differently almost every time.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Says that "[he has] been like a candle in the wind."
Galen Ursor
- Deep Cover Agent: Says he's been groveling in order to study the heart and other organs of the Dead Star.
Characters introduced in Ranger Soro
Chi La / Qi
- Right-Hand Hottie: She works as Kleinden Worth's Senior Assistant.
- Skewed Priorities: While escaping with Luck Thoreau, she suddenly asks him to start jousting.
Baker Beckett
- Alliterative Name: Baker Beckett
- Captain Obvious: Believes that Ola Sin "must have died of her own death."
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: Admits he was a speculator before.
Kleinden Worth / Drayden Voss / Durden / de Wright
- Obliviously Evil: He's very surprised upon being informed that he's started some fire.
- Living Emotional Crutch: He reveals that he's unable to break his relationship with Chi La and basically admits that he would commit suicide if she ever had an accident.
L3
- Killer Robot: Admits she's very excited to take someone's life.
- Space Jews: She doesn't want to be Kosher.
Characters Introduced in The Mendelssohn
Mendel / Jilgim
A Mendelssohn who worked previously as a designer and now is an accountant who fishes for pleasure and hosts a radio show. Finds The Boy on one of his travels and decides to cultivate it.
- Adaptational Skill: Apparently worked/works as a designer, accountant, fisherman, and radio host according to different people.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: Is apparently Graph Loader's wife.
- Ambiguous Gender: While he's referred to as male most of the time, Graph Loader refers to him as his wife at one point. Could count as Samus Is a Girl if Mendel is indeed female.
- Captain Obvious: When the Armorer praises his radio show, Mendel replies "That would be a compliment."
- Composite Character: The final line of Greenhouses seems to imply that he is in truth The. This could just be an aversion of the One-Steve Limit, though.
- Race Lift: Despite being played by a Chilean-American actor, he admits to being white in Greenhouses.
- Related in the Adaptation: Either The Boy or Kara Kara is his sister.
- Since Kara Kara mentions that they "grew up together", the most logical reasoning would be that Omera was referring to her.
- The Stoner: Greenhouses sees Mendel outright tell Omera that he's high, though he seemingly manages to kick the habit once all is said and done.
The Boy
- Plant Person: A Blanket suggests to Mendel that he should cultivate him.
- Related in the Adaptation: Assuming Omera was talking about him instead of Kara Kara following the showdown with the pirates, the Boy might possibly be Mendel's sister.
Graph Loader
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: He at one point refers to Mendel as his wife. This may just be a joke, however.
- Broken Pedestal: He tells Mendel that he had such high hopes in The Crime, implying that Graph Loader might've betrayed the bounty hunter for letting him down.
- Brutal Honesty: He bluntly informs Mendel that his reputation is less than stellar.
A Blanket
- The Eeyore: States that the path is impossible without a mountain of depression.
- Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Bluntly tells Mendel that he has no life.
- Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: Seems to believe this, as he tells Mendel he was an abolitionist."It was an honor to me, but I finally devoted my life to getting rid of slavery."
Eye-11
- Determinator: He rids himself of the idea of losing.
- Eating Machine: Possibly. He refers to the Boy as "food", but it's unclear if he means food for himself or food for others.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Apparently sees the Boy as food.
Kara Kara Clear The West
- Precision F-Strike: As with other military leaders before her, she yells out "Bull" during the climatic showdown with the pirates and their walker.
- Related in the Adaptation: She may or may not be Mendel's sister here, depending on whether Omera was referring to her or the Boy.
- Unconfessed Unemployment: Inverted. She outright mentions that she's looking for a job.
Characters Introduced in Reply is minus
Ezra / Era Bridge
- Face–Heel Turn: According to a Hopeless Situation Temple Guard, he'll stop being a Christian and start worshipping the devil in the future.
- The Illegal: Wants to go to the United States.
- Hidden Depths: He's a good dancer who also has a worshipper who believes him to be divine.
- Precocious Crush: Has one on Chicken Jarrus and even wants to fuck him.
- Skewed Priorities: Hanging from a cliff doesn't stop him from trying to paint the rocks. Also, in spite of looking for advice from Vanquish Is, he also asks him if it's wrong to bathe in the Hopeless Situation.
- The Slacker: He's one until he decides to work in a planet in "Dark Envelope", he's stopped from this by the Inquisition from the Empire of the First Choice.
Chicken Jarrus / Kanan
- The Alcoholic: He apparently is this to the point that Ezra almost calls Alcoholic Anonymous to treat him.
- Boomerang Bigot: Apparently hates blind people, despite him being blind since his duel with God Hammer.
- Consummate Liar: Orders Ray Iraq to "spread lies" in the heart of the Hopeless Situation at the climax of The Ninth Gathers.
- Embarrassing First Name: "Chicken" isn't exactly a name befitting a Hopeless Situation Warrior.
- Extreme Omnisexual: He once masturbated to Hopeless Situation knowledge.
Jeb
- The Fundamentalist: Seems to be concerned whether or not children still praise the lord.
- Heroic Self-Deprecation: Casually states he has no rights, though this may be him complaining about the Empire of the First Choice's Fantastic Racism.
- Will Not Tell a Lie: Possibly. According to Cinderella, his honesty is a Great J-cloth Space, though this could mean the exact opposite, since we have no idea what a Great J-cloth Space is.
Bendu
- Adaptational Jerkass: Rather than being a wise spirit, this version of Bendu is a perverted Cloudcuckoolander.
- Could double as Adaptational Dumbass
- All Men Are Perverts: He asks Chicken to come on him, and at one point seems to talk about anal sex."Now, from behind she"
- Cloudcuckoolander: The original Bendu could be quite vague and bizarre, but every line he speaks in Reply is Minus is part of a nonsensical tirade.
Exoka Tano / Ahsoka / Ahsuka Tanu / Storage Area
- Adaptation Explanation Extrication: Due to only appearing in a single short episode in the Gatherings continuity, we have absolutely no explanation for who she is. It's implied that she did once meet Allah Gold, though which relationship they had is unknown.
- Adaptation Relationship Overhaul: She apparently has sexual relations with Chicken, or at least wants to, judging by this line:"Who are we and what we no longer breed?"
- Borrowed Catchphrase: Says "Do not want!" at one point. Considering that she may have been Allah Gold's disciple, it makes sense.
Sabin
- Ambiguously Human: States at one point that she was a rock station. It is unknown if she means a station (as in a location) made of rock, or if she was a radio station which played rock music. It could also be a metaphorical way of saying she was the host of a radio station which played rock music.
- The Illegal: Ezra appears to be helping her enter the United States.
Thrawn
- Noodle Incident: He was apparently saved from hell by pirates after being sent there by the rebels, though when and how is still ambiguous.
- Offscreen Moment of Awesome: Apparently, at one point, the D was overthrown by a new emperor. Thrawn killed this new emperor, and the D is assumed to has taken his job back. This is implied to have happened just before Thrawn first appears.
- Pet the Dog: Is apparently concerned about the Empire's dental clinics.
Pryce
- Adaptational Job Change: She states at one point that "[She is] the seven fleets", implying that she may be an admiral rather than a governor in this continuity.
- I Am the Noun: "I am the seven fleets"
Commander Sato
- America Saves the Day: Subverted. He's afraid that the rebels will be the next target of the United States Army. Considering that the United States are established to be on the side of the Empire of the First Choice, these fears are not unwarranted.
- Blasphemous Praise: Says that Ezra is "divinely wise".
Hondo
- All Men Are Perverts: Tells Melch he will get his greedy slut, and wants a slave, possibly for sexual purposes.
- Slavery Is a Special Kind of Evil: He wants a slave, but only because they are "very popular".
Hopeless Situation Temple Guard
- Adaptation Explanation Extrication: Unlike the original version, there's no indication that he was ever a member of the Spanish Inquisition.
- Celibate Hero: Possibly. He states that "Do the fuck will be discarded" which could mean that Hopeless Situation Warriors who have sex are kicked out of the order.
- Took a Level in Badass: He seems to think he has, as he states that "[he] was very average was once".
The Spanish Inquisition
- Artistic License – Religion: They wish to practice Islam in secret despite being members of the Spanish Inquisition.
- Oxymoronic Being: The real Spanish Inquisition pursued Christian converts who were secretly still Jews or Muslims. Here, they are the Christians seeking to secretly practice Islam.