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Characters / The Scumthorpe Files

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Since the Scumthorpe-verse is overflowing with Loads and Loads of Characters, only the cast of the original story will be listed here.

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The Scumthorpes

     Scumthorpe triplets 

The Scumthorpe triplets, consisting of Lester, Carrie and Lolita, are the main protagonists of the series. The youngest of Larry's (legitimate) children, they are born from the union between their father and his second wife, Kathryn. Despite their young age, they are much more dependable and reasonable than most of the adults they have the misfortune to be related to. However, being a part of the Scumthorpe bloodline, they do have inherently evil/insane qualities, so they are not to be trifled with.

Lester Scumthorpe
Lester is the eldest of the trio, who is born as a grotesque-looking mutant due to the side effect of his father's Tiberium mining. Contrary to his freakish appearance, he is one of the more normal minded member of his otherwise screwed-up family, and is constantly worried over his sisters' well-being, particularly towards Lolita.
  • Adorkable: He's rather socially awkward, and repeatedly failed to confess his feelings to his crush Lily due to unfortunate distractions coming between them, at least until the Class 6-F prom.
  • Big Brother Instinct: Lester is especially protective towards Lolita and dislikes seeing her being too comfortable around Rhett Dillinger.
  • Characterization Marches On: Lester was originally meant to be a more cynical/sinister character, but eventually became a more sympathetic, if slightly neurotic, protagonist.
  • Everyone Can See It: Lester was very bad at hiding his crush towards Lily, and Lolita and Nikki could see right through him despite his best efforts to deny this fact. He finally worked up the courage to confess to her and finally become an Official Couple, though.
  • Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The responsible one to Lolita's foolish. He's much more sensible and logical than she is, and apparently does better than her in school.
  • Ill Boy: Lester's Tiberium mutation makes him quite frail – so much so that his father believed Lester would die before him.
  • Only Sane Man: He’s one of the most well-adjusted of all the Scumthorpes – being more logical and responsible than Lolita, and certainly more sane than Carrie.
  • Nothing but Skin and Bones: Lester has a very lanky stature due to his genetic mutation, which contributes to his odd appearance (he looks sort of like an undead).
  • Prematurely Bald: Inverted. Lester's hair never grew from the short, wispy strands that had sprouted when he was born; and his head looks exactly the same as it did when he was a toddler.
  • Puppy Love: He and Lily started dating each other at the end of their 6th grade, when they're both barely 12.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Lester is a mutant who barely looks human. His girlfriend, Lily, is one of the prettiest girls in the Scumthorpe-verse.
  • Younger Than They Look: His premature baldness and hollow cheekbones makes him look middle-aged, even though he’s just a preteen.

Carrie Scumthorpe
The younger sister of Lester, the older sister of Lolita, and perhaps the most unstable of the three. Having received the brunt of most of her family's evil exploits (especially from her older brother, Sprog), Carrie is very cynical and violent prone. She also communicates with an imaginary friend doll named Throatslasher.
  • Ax-Crazy: Downplayed. She's much less psycho than Sprog, but Carrie is definitely not as sane as her other siblings, and she has been frequently shown to be wielding knives and guns in "Promo images".
  • Big Sister Instinct: Not as obvious as Lester's, but she’s definitely concerned over Lolita's emotional well-being, as evidenced in her Ask Me Anything session:
    "My little sister deserves better than you [...] YOU BREAK HER HEART, I BREAK YOUR NECK."
  • Broken Bird: She is quite insane after receiving the brunt of Sprog's torment, and having to put up with the Stupid Evil adults in her household.
  • Fourth-Wall Observer: Carrie and Throatslasher are aware of the fourth wall, and they'd occasionally discuss about the mechanics and features of the game they are created from, addressing the readers from time to time.
  • Glasgow Smile: Sprog gave her a huge gash across the face after he murdered Larry.
  • Little Miss Badass: Carrie is a normal sized 7th grader, she can easily take on Billy Bulgristle — who is at least twice her size — in a brawl.
  • I Am Not Pretty: Lolita constantly reassures her sister that she is pretty, but Carrie, being self-conscious of her facial scars and Glasgow Smile, does not believe her.
  • Not-So-Imaginary Friend: Her imaginary friend doll, Throatslasher is a sentient being who lives in her head to give her advice, though he can't be seen by anyone else.
  • Tomboy and Girly Girl: The Tomboy to Lolita's Girly Girl. Carrie is almost never seen wearing skirts or dresses, dislikes boy bands, and is much more cynical than her cute and ditzy sister.
  • Two-Faced: Thanks to Sprog stuffing her into an oven during her infancy, half of Carrie's face is burnt. While she is not particularly villainous, this does indicate that she's more unstable and violent than Lester and Lolita.
  • Unkempt Beauty: Despite having a face that's 50% scar tissue, a rather messy hairstyle, and is always dressed in boyish clothes, Lolita still considers her sister prettier than herself (and many readers agree with her).

Lolita Scumthorpe
The youngest of the trio, Lolita is known as the ditzy and innocent one. She is lively, friendly and is a hopeless romantic who is far too willing to make friends, which is part of the reason why her more cynical siblings are very protective of her.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: She's an airhead who spends quite some time believing that babies are born from men's butts, innocuously tries to befriend the Bloody Norah, and almost always misses the point when engaged in more serious discussions.
  • The Cutie: She's an innocent ditz who's very eager to socialize with others – even ghosts and demons. Her siblings are very protective towards her because of this.
  • Elegant Gothic Lolita: For her middle school new look, Lolita changes out from her usual black and white blouse into a frilly, puffed up red-and-black lacy dress, transforming her into a literal elegant gothic Lolita.
  • Fangirl: She really likes boy bands, such as No Direction, and had put up many posters of them on her shared bedroom's walls, much to Carrie's chagrin.
  • Fluffy Tamer: Lolita's ditzy charms can apparently attract otherwise dangerous creatures, if her befriending of Bloody Norah during Class 6F's summer camp is any indication.
  • Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The foolish one to Lester. Lolita is an airheaded, boy-crazy Cloud Cuckoo Lander.
  • The Ingenue: Her ditzy naivete and innocently friendly demeanor is considered as her charm points by her classmates.
  • Miss Conception: She saw Rick giving birth to Crypto and came to the conclusion that all babies are born from men's butts.

    Main Scumthorpe Household 

Larry Scumthorpe
The patriarch and legacy founder of the Scumthorpe dynasty, Larry started his early career as a politician, but later switched to Tiberium mining. But regardless of his career options, he has never been anything but a greedy, immoral douche whose only concern is to amass as much fortune and power for himself.
  • Abusive Parents:
    • Larry hates all his children and treats them all with contempt. When he finally kicked the bucket, he disowned every single one of them, while hurling as many insults as he possibly could as he banned them from inheriting any of his fortune in his will.
    • According to an additional information of the Scumthorpe family tree, Larry might also be on the receiving end of this. His father is just a corrupt businessman as he is (though not as successful), while his mother is a delusional old bat who is prone to set off into violent, hysterical outburst that involves throwing around cutleries at other people.
  • Asshole Victim: While his fate at Sprog's hands was brutal, he had it coming for him after a long time.
  • Bald of Evil: He's a bald, sleazy, Corrupt Corporate Executive whose only interest is money and power, and hates his own family because he thinks they're either a burden or a disgrace to his own name. His receding hairline definitely makes him look more like a slimeball than he did when he had hair.
  • Characterization Marches On: According to Word of God he was originally envisioned as an sleazy Politician who climbed up the social ladder via manipulation, cunning and lies. The Tiberium mining part of his character did not manifest until after Sprog was born.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: Larry owns a Tiberium mining company that pollutes SimNation's water supply with radioactive waste, which frequently causes catastrophic mutations among the population.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Was originally a part of the main Scumthorpe household, but after the twins were born, he lost his spotlight to them and was later killed by Sprog.
  • I Want Grandkids: Larry detests all of his children and deems all of them unworthy to his fortune. So his only option to have someone to continue his legacy is force grandchildren from one of his sons. He is surprisingly an OK grandfather, and he actually taught Niles & Giles to speak (something he never bothered to do with his children).
  • I Was Quite a Looker: Curious as to how someone like him could continuously produce genuinely pretty daughters, Mingham once tried to de-age Larry into an adult, with surprising results.
    MinghamSmith: [Larry] did not age well. At all.
  • Straw Misogynist: As a part of his "cartoonishly evil asshole" persona, Larry holds a ridiculously old-fashioned view that females should not be heirs, nor could they receive any inheritance from his fortune.
    Norman Dunning: And while it serves as a final damning indictment of his character, I really don't think reading out the lengthy misogynistic tirade our late CEO felt compelled to include when banning his daughters from succeeding him will be all that necessary-
  • Stupid Evil: He disowned all his biological children and wrote them out of his will out of spite, and unwittingly leaving his entire fortune to a pair of toddlers who can barely talk.
  • Trophy Wife: He married Kathryn, a woman younger than even his (then) youngest son, after he gained success from illicit Tiberium mining.
  • Villain Protagonist: While this applies naturally to most of the Scumthorpe Clan, he is the cause of 99% Problems with Sim Nation today.

Kathryn Scumthorpe (neé Trollope)

Larry's much-younger second wife, Kathryn is a blatant Gold Digger who marries Larry to inherit his fortune. Their marriage didn't last very long, because she had an affair with the butler shortly after the triplets' birth, leading to a divorce.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: After getting divorced, Kathryn briefly disappeared from the storyline, and was abruptly killed by her own son as a part of Sprog's megapost entry.
  • Flat Character: She's portrayed as a vain and shallow Gold Digger, and that's about it.
  • Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: According to Word of God Kathryn had a sister who was her complete opposite: educated, smart and not shallow.
  • Gold Digger: Larry's great fortune is the only reason she's willing to marry him.
  • Parental Neglect: She doesn't care much about any of her children – leaving her stepson Rick to teach them how to talk and otherwise take care of them.

Sprog Scumthorpe
Sprog is Larry's first child with Kathryn, making him the triplets' only full-blooded sibling. He has exceeded his father's cartoon villainy and is more or less an outright psychopath who has committed numerous murders ever since he was a child.
  • Alliterative Name: Sprog Scumthorpe
  • Asexuality: Word of God confirms that Sprog is incapable of feeling any emotion other than murderous rage, so the concept of love and romance is completely alien to him.
  • Ax-Crazy: Sprog is a deranged serial murderer who takes delight in seeing other people's misery.
  • Creepy Blue Eyes: He has pale blue eyes that enhances his creepy expressions.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Used to be one of the most seen Scumthorpe members, but since the triples arrived he stopped appearing regulary. And he disappeared after he murdered Larry and attacked Carrie.
  • Enfant Terrible: Sprog's Ax-Crazy tendencies could be observed since his toddler years. His killing spree began when he was five.
  • Messy Hair: His untidy hair is another trait that marks him as an insane psychopath who has no concerns about petty stuff like appearance or romance.
  • No Name Given: "Sprog" is merely a slang word for "baby" that Larry and the others used to describe the kid when he was born, and it kind of sticks. Officially, Sprog has no registered name.
  • Put on a Bus: After murdering his father, Sprog skipped town and has not appeared in the story ever since (although Lester and Lolita's AMA session suggests that he has now moved to Riverview to resume his killing spree there).
  • Self-Made Orphan: Sets himself and his younger siblings as orphans when he killed both Kathryn and Larry.
  • Serial Killer: Has murdered about half the population of Sunset Valley.
  • Static Character: Intentionally, Sprong will always be an psychopathic serial killer. This is also the reason why he doesn't appear as often anymore since he isn't the most interesting or complex person to write about.
  • Teens Are Monsters: Sprog was already an Ax-Crazy Serial Killer since he was a child. He became worse when he grew up.
  • Villain Protagonist: Literally embodied this trope, as he used to be one of major Scumthorpe members.
  • Villain Teleportation: Due to his mastery of the martial art skills—which, under the game's mechanics, gives him the ability to Teleport Spam—Sprog was able to continue to wreak havoc across SimNation after his family tried to keep him locked up in a padded cell.
  • Would Hurt a Child: Beating up his younger siblings is one of his favorite pastimes, and he's the one who gave Carrie her facial scars. There was also an in-game glitch which somehow caused him to generate a wish to beat up a toddler despite the fact that it is impossible to do by the gameplay's mechanics.

Rick Scumthorpe
Rick is the triplets's older half-brother, being Larry's second son from his first wife, Honoria. A failure of a man who has yet successfully found a stable job to move out from his parents home, he found himself forced to take care of the triplets during their toddler years, because neither Larry nor Kathryn could be bothered to do so.
  • Arranged Marriage: Larry forced him to marry Lady Caroline to produce suitable heir(s) for the Scumthorpe Tiberium Inc., since none of Larry's sons (including Rick) were apparently worthy of succession.
  • Butt-Monkey: Rick is an incompetent loser who fails in almost every aspect of his life – he couldn't hold down a part-time job digging graves, repeatedly lost fights against his fat, neckbeardy older brother and his scrawny, ageing father, and has never successfully romanced anyone despite having the Flirty trait. Then he lost his virginity to an anal probe. He got pregnant. Once he bonded with his buttbaby, his father sold it. He was also forced into an arranged marriage with a woman who looks like a horse and has a personality that would make a real horse a preferable sex partner.
  • Jerkass: Not very obvious, since the story mostly focus on him being a loser, but he does have a mean-spirited trait and is constantly picking a fight with almost everyone.
  • Mr. Seahorse: Rick was abducted, probed and impregnated by aliens. He later gave birth to a half-alien buttbaby named Crypto.
  • Pet the Dog: Despite being a drunken Jerkass most of the time, Rick did help raise the triplets, and he actually cares for Crypto.

Lady Caroline
A British aristocrat whose family fortune has been dwindling down, and had thus agreed to marry into the Scumthorpe family as Rick's wife.
  • Animal Motifs: She looks like a horse due to in-breeding (and is proud of it), and has garnered numerous horse-related Fan Nicknames from the readers.
  • Child Hater: Her low opinion for children can be surmised as thus:
    "Children should be seen and not heard! Or better yet, not seen either!"
  • Gold Digger: She agreed to marry into the Scumthorpe household so that she could still live in luxury after her family's fortune is gone.
  • Hate Sink: Caroline is one of the most reviled characters in the series, and many In-Universe character and readers have wished for her horrible deaths.
  • Impoverished Patrician: She's a member of a British nobility, but had to marry into the Scumthorpe family to regain her lost wealth and continue her luxurious lifestyle.
  • Insistent Terminology: Don’t call her Caroline. It's Lady Caroline.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Is really nothing more than a nuisance for the triplets to encounter on a daily basis. Especially in contrast to the screwed-up and outright villainous characters they have to put up with.
  • Would Hurt a Child: She has repeatedly expressed her disdain for children, and fondly remembers the time when she and her brothers would beat up homeless children for fun.
  • Your Days Are Numbered: Carrie's speech to her in one word, she notes that the woman who marry into the Scumthorpe family have not a good track record of being alive.
  • 0% Approval Rating: No one in the comic likes her and that feeling is mutual.

Niles and Giles Scumthorpe
Which one is this? It doesn't matter.
Rick and Lady Caroline's twin sons, who are currently the heir of Scumthorpe Tiberium despite being only one year old.
  • Creepy Twins: They’re a pair of evil toddlers who tormented other children in their daycare center for fun, and tried to use their deceased grandfather's remains as toys.
  • Enfant Terrible: Niles and Giles were permanently banned from the daycare centre for terrorizing other children and later tried to eat their own deceased grandfather's remains. Apparently, they think their half-uncle Sprog is old school.
  • Hate Sink: Like their mother, Niles and Giles has been purposely created to be as reprehensible as possible, making it a great change of pace when Carrie finally taught them a lesson.
  • Single-Minded Twins: Niles and Giles constantly finish each other's sentences and are pretty much indistinguishable from one another. According to the Word of God, they will probably marry the same woman when they grow up.

Cryptosporidium "Crypto" Scumthorpe
Rick's half-alien buttson who was sold to a science research lab by his grandfather shortly after his birth.

Darius Victor/Scumthorpe
Larry's disowned third son who "works" as a supervillain. Darius is currently the most successful of Larry's children: his career is running smoothly, he's Happily Married to a beautiful actress and he lives in a relatively functional household with his sister, clone son and robot bodyguards.
  • Affably Evil: In comparison to his father and step-brother.
  • Antagonistic Offspring: Darius hates his father so much that he changed his last name to Victor to deny that he is in any way related to the Scumthorpe patriarch. He occasionally visits his old home to detonate his dad's car, just to spite him further.
  • Archnemesis Dad: For all Darius's hate towards his father, Larry despises him just as much. Darius was the first to be written off from Larry's will, and Larry refuses to acknowledge him or any of his family either, even anticipating that Darius's career choice would one day kill him.
  • Big Little Brother: A downplayed case, but he appears to be slightly taller than his two older brothers, Rick and Spurgin. He's also definitely far more competent than those two morons, given his accomplishments.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He has a career in supervillainy and makes a living by building killer robots and death rays.
  • A Day in the Limelight: While he's never considered a "main" character, in the grand scheme of things, the plot does occasionally show his home life and how his family is progressing.
  • Happily Married: Before Vernon was introduced, he is said to be the only Scumthorpe who got married out of love.
  • Noble Demon: Despite being an outright supervillain, he is still considered as one of the most decent adults in the Scumthorpe family. It helps that most of his villainous acts are never shown in-story.
  • Truly Single Parent: Conceived his first son, Alexander, via cloning. Averted with his other children, who are produced normally.
  • Villain of Another Story: He's a competent supervillain with plan to take over the world, yet never antagonized the triplets who are the Anti Heroes of the story.

Alice Scumthorpe
Alice is Larry's eldest child who now lives with Darius. Due to spending a large portion of her young adult life dead, she is now physically younger than Spurgin and Rick.
  • Back from the Dead: She spent a long time dead just after becoming a young adult, before Darius stole her urn and revived her using Ambrosia. Of course, this backstory is never actually depicted on-screen, but is mentioned in her character's introductory post.
  • The Generic Girl: Due to her crazy and unhinged family, she doesn't have much of an outstanding quirk.
  • Interspecies Romance: Her introductory post briefly mentions that she is dating an elf. She has also been shown to romance her brother's robot bodyguard, Killbot I.
  • Lipstick Lesbian: She appears to be quite feminine in her appearance and wardrobe, but is confirmed by Word of God to be a lesbian — or at the very least, more romantically inclined towards females. She has frequently displayed some not-so-platonic feelings towards her sister in law.
  • Nice Girl: She's one of the only Scumthorpe who is not insane, a Jerkass, or have been involved in illicit/morally ambiguous activities. During the family gathering at Larry's funeral, she attempted to prevent the others from fighting by appeasing them with drinks.
  • The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: Neither Larry nor Honoria are good-looking, but Alice is quite beautiful.

Spurgin Scumthorpe
Larry's idiotic, neckbeard of a first son who makes a living by writing crappy novels. He currently lives with a couple of Redditor house mates who are even worse creepers than he is.
  • Basement-Dweller: Even after finally moving out of his parents’ home, he still mostly stays in his own basement to write his Thrust Rogerson novel series.
  • Famed In-Story: His novel series is actually pretty successful in-universe, and several of the triplets' classmates express admiration about the fact that they are related to such a well-known author.
  • Satellite Character: He does have a distinct characterization (being a closed-off neckbeard), but he doesn't live with the main household and, unlike Darius, doesn't have A Day in the Limelight segments to let the readers see what he's up to. The only time he plays a role in story is when he arrives at his father's funeral.

Honoria Scumthorpe

Larry's deceased first wife, and the mother of Alice, Spurgin, Rick and Darius who rarely appears in-story on account of being dead. Outside her introduction, she had only appeared in-story once, when Judas resurrected her as a zombie to intimidate Larry.
  • Came Back Wrong: Invoked when Judas resurrected her as a zombie to blackmail Larry into financing his sorcery experiments.
  • Informed Flaw: According to Larry and Word of God she was as awful as Kathryn and Caroline, but since she died early on and is now a brainless zombie we only can take his word for it.
  • Satellite Character: Other than being Larry's deceased first wife, nothing is known about her.

    Extended family 

Sid Scumthorpe
Larry's perverted younger brother who thinks he's a ladies' man. One of his misadventures with a witch in Moonlight Falls managed to produce the Evil Sorcerer, Judas.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Sid believes himself to be quite a ladies' man. In reality, he's just a pathetic pervert.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: The only thing he has in common with his brother, in turns out he was the CEO of a certain Pizzeria with animatronics...
  • A Day in the Limelight: Similar to Darius, occasionally the point-of-view switches to him, to see what he's been up to.
  • Dirty Old Man: Sid is a middle-aged pervert who thinks his own brother's funeral is a good place to look for action.
    "For fuck's sake, Vernon, my medallion has nothing to do with aliens. It's just there to help me get laid [...] I mean, mourning, little black dresses, emotional vulnerability... Do I really have to explain this to you?"

Judas Scumthorpe

Sid's illegitimate son, born to his father's misadventures with a witch from Moonlight Falls. He is currently residing in the Stately Scum Manor to research for his magic.
  • Bastard Bastard: He's an illegitimate Scumthorpe offspring who was raised by a cult of necromancers due to his biological parents not really giving a damn. Grew up to become a Dark Messiah figure for the cultists.
  • Evil Sorcerer: He's a magical practitioner who uses his powers to turn people into frogs, raise zombies, blackmail his uncle, and otherwise do nasty stuffs.
  • I Have Many Names: Apparently known to his cult followers as: The Blackthorne Bastard, the Chosen of Thanatos, the Prince of Bones and many other sinister aliases.
  • Manipulative Bastard: Judas arranged for Larry's death (by sic-ing Sprog on him) after making sure that he will somehow be the one in charge of his fortune.
    Sid: ...You knew about this all along, didn't you? You knew Larry would leave everything to the twins! You knew he'd disinherit the rest of us out of spite! You knew he was too much of a reactionary fuckwit to acknowledge any of his illegitimate relatives when writing the damned thing!
  • Meaningful Name: He's a traitorous bastard who was named after three historical traitors.
  • Names to Run Away from Really Fast: His full name is Judas Brutus Cassius Scumthorpe. To clarify, he carries the name of three of the most well-known traitors in history.
  • Necromancer: He is capable of performing necromancy and once revived Honoria to blackmail Larry into giving him financial support.
  • Obviously Evil
  • The Starscream: He had occasionally agreed to use his magic to do Larry's bidding (e.g. Mind-controlling Rick so that he'd go through his wedding with Caroline, sabotaging Vernon's political opponent) before arranging for the latter's death later on.
  • Villain Protagonist: One of the viewpoint characters in the Scumthope household and definitely a villain with the plan to take over the world.

Vernon Scumthorpe
Larry's long-lost older brother who has a career in politics, Vernon is an insane conspiracy theorist who frequently rants about pod people and alien lizards to anybody who'll listen to him. He and his family live in Twinbrook.

Walter Scumthorpe
Vernon's wimpy son who did not - unfortunately for him - inherit the Scumthorpe insanity genes, causing his parents to see him and his wife Betty as Pod People.
  • Only Sane Man: He's one of the few adult members of his family who isn't crazy in some way. Unfortunately, he's also a whiny, ineffectual moron.

Betty Scumthorpe

Walter's even more ineffectual wife, Betty is a former cheerleader who unfortunately got herself tangled in the Scumthope family tree crazinesswhen she married Walter.
  • Dumb Blonde: She holds the belief that the world somehow runs on sitcom logic, and is quite catatonic when she discovers that it doesn't.
  • Jaded Washout: She was a popular cheerleader in her high school years. Now? She's married to a wimpy loser who also happens to be member of a Big, Screwed-Up Family.
  • Punk in the Trunk: She goes into labor just as news of Larry's death breaks and so her in-laws kidnap and throw her into the trunk of the car so her husband and children will not be delayed in attending the funeral. She stays there during the entire funeral and is forced to give birth there.

Gary and Livia Scumthorpe
Walter's twin children who, like most normal Scumthorpes, are an incredibly amoral pair. They despise their parents, but get along quite well with their grandparents.

Other citizens

    Class 6-F 
The Scumthorpe triplets’ classmates, who are just about as wacky and dysfunctional as they are.

Lily van der Vecht
An alchemist’s daughter who originally came from Moonlight Falls, Lily is one of the triplet’s best friends, and is also Lester’s girlfriend.
  • Freaky Is Cool: When Lester worries that she'll find him and his family weird, she tells him that she likes weird. Considering her family and her hometown, this is no surprise.
  • Light Feminine Dark Feminine: Despite her gothic appearance, she is ironically the light feminine to her good friend's, Nikki’s, dark — being much nicer, calmer, and more ladylike than the latter.
  • Nice Girl: Aside from that one time where she had some aliens destroy an empty scam rival store, she’s otherwise very pleasant and caring towards others.
  • Perky Goth: Lily wears all-black outfit, has a gothic Raven Hair, Ivory Skin appearance and even has black fingernails, but she’s more enthusiastic and optimistic than most of her classmates
  • Puppy Love: She and Lester started dating near the end of their elementary school year, when both are only eleven.
  • Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: She has long, black hair and light skin, and is considered to be very beautiful.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Lily is one of the prettiest Sims in the Scumthorpe verse, and she is dating Lester, whose Tiberium mutation makes him look barely human.

Nikki Danton
Another one of the triplets’ good friends, Nikki is a hacker who used to live with her immortal sort-of uncle, Karl Danton.
  • Age-Inappropriate Dress: Downplayed. She’s a preteen who dresses more like an older teen.
  • Ambiguously Human: Tara questions her human heritage due to her odd hair and eye colours. Of course, she also happens to share an ambiguous family ties with the immortal alchemist, Danton the Deathless, so these concerns are not entirely baseless
  • Bi the Way: Nikki is a confirmed bisexual, and have had romances with both boys and girls. She had her first kiss with a girl named Abigail, whom she claimed was also the very first person she dated.
  • Child Prodigy: Nikki is a genius hacker despite being only 11.
  • Deadpan Snarker: She can be extremely snide in her words, especially when dealing with someone else’s nonsense.
    Nikki (on Rhett Dillinger’s fake last name): What, are you trying to hide an embarrassing real one? Let me guess, it's actually Dillweed, isn't it?"
  • Expy: Her character design is based on Lili Zanotto from Psychonauts, as per Word of God.
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Davina had once expresses her willingness to date Nikki (although she may or may not be Trolling). Lester also claims that almost everyone's first crush was on Nikki, even some of the girls in their class.
  • Implausible Hair Colour: The blood-red shade of her hair colour has been noted as unusual.
  • Light Feminine Dark Feminine: She’s the aloof, snarky and hot-headed dark feminine to Lily’s light.
  • Playful Hacker: Crosses between this and The Cracker. On one hand, she can be a good friend and is fun to hang around with, on the other hand, she has illegally hacked thousands of simoleons into her household.
  • Redhead In Green: Wears an emerald green shirt that complements her blood-red hair nicely.
  • Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: It appears to be a family trait which she shares with her sort-of uncle, Karl Danton (AKA Danton the Deathless).
  • Tsundere: She coldly rebuffs Rhett Dillinger’s advances, but actually have some liking for him. She is genuinely exasperated with his Handsome Lech tendencies, but half the time she wants him to just kiss her already.

Davina Midwich
A half-alien child with psychic powers. Despite being quite ominous in appearance and mannerism, Davina is quite amicable, if somewhat of a Troll, towards her classmates.
  • Ambiguously Gay: She once stated that she would date Nikki, only to sort-of backtrack on it during her AMA session. The author later claimed that, while Davina's sexuality is ambiguous, he can confirm that she's "definitely not fully straight".

Tara Dunning
The oldest girl in class 6-F who believes that this fact automatically makes her the most intelligent and mature of them all, despite many evidence to the contrary.
  • Alpha Bitch: Subverted. She may be vain, selfish and bitchy, and is admittedly quite good-looking, but is too unpopular to be anything more than a mild annoyance and/or a source of amusement for her classmates.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: She’s whiny and self-centered, and tends to overreact when things don’t go her way.
  • Catchphrase: "Eww, Byrne, you CREEPER!"
  • Dirty Coward: Tara has no spine, she knows about it but acts like she has one.
  • Fiery Redhead: She's loud and melodramatic, and, due to her self-absorbed nature, gets irritated quite easily.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Tara gets jealous whenever a boy she likes shows more attention to other girls than her. She’s particularly jealous of Nikki because her crush, Rhett Dillinger, likes Nikki.
  • Inferiority Superiority Complex: As Byrne correctly deduced, Tara doesn't actually know how to make friends, and has a rather low self-esteem because of it. On the outside, though, she behaves like a melodramatic loudmouth who wouldn't stop boasting about how smart, pretty, mature and popular she is.
  • Redhead In Green: Has reddish hair and wears a green frock.
  • Significant Green-Eyed Redhead: She has green eyes to represent her jealous tendencies, while her red hair is the reason why Ashton Byrne is so in love with her.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Subverted, she desperatly tries to do this, but no one in her class sees her this way.

Ashton Byrne
The class pyromaniac with a penchant of burning stuffs, and is ironically the son of a firefighter. Has a huge, unrequited crush on Tara Dunning.
  • Ascended Extra: He was originally meant to just be another wacky member of the triplets' class, but he and his friends have gained the status of the series' "secondary protagonists", and they are currently the only characters outside the Scumthorpes who have been given a multi-chaptered storyline.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: He has been trying to win Tara Dunning’s affection since they were kindergarteners, but she just sees him as a creeper.
  • Green-Eyed Monster: Has repeatedly expressed his hatred towards Rhett Dillinger because Tara has a crush on him.
  • Last-Name Basis: Hardly anyone calls him "Ashton". Even the narrative, and his best friends, refers to him as "Byrne".
  • Messy Hair: Well, a kid obsessed with fire and explosions can’t possibly be expected to groom his hair.
  • Punny Name: His name is Ashton, and his surname sounds like “Burn”. Lampshaded in his bio:
    “the weird kid who enjoys incinerating things and messing about with fireworks more than a little bit too much […] In his defence, when you name your son Ashton Byrne of all things you're kind of tempting fate.”
  • Puppy Love: While it’s one-sided, he developed his crush for Tara since kindergarten.
  • Pyro Maniac: Byrne has an obsession for fire and explosions.
  • Self-Proclaimed Love Interest: Insists that he and Tara are destined together, despite the fact that Tara finds him repulsive.
  • Stalker with a Crush: He has stated his intent to follow Tara throughout their school years (if, by chance, she managed to end up in different schools as he does) so that they can be together.

Billy Bulgristle
The raging idiot of a bully from class 6-F, who lives with a Darwinist mindset – even though he’s probably too stupid to understand the definition of its concepts.
  • Alliterative Name: Billy Bulgristle. All his relatives’ names apparently starts with B.
  • Barbaric Bully: He’s a brute who mostly relies on violence (or threats of violence) to intimidate others.
  • Childhood Brain Damage: He was raised in a family who thinks that dropping a baby on its head is a rite of passage to toughen it up. Despite all this, he is still much more intelligent compared to the rest of his illiterate family.
  • Dumb Muscle: He's the most physically imposing among the Class 6F students, and due to his Childhood Brain Damage, is the most Book Dumb of them all (not helped by the fact that he embodies a social Darwinist mindset and, knowing that he'a already the strongest kid around, couldn't be bothered to learn anything from his lessons).
  • Fat Bastard: The fattest member of class 6-F, and the meanest of the lot.
  • Gonk: Being an overweight pudding with a bowl haircut doesn't give his appearance much credit.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Billy's family are apparently as barbaric as he is. See Childhood Brain Damage.
  • Lower-Class Lout: He comes from a lower-class family that lives in a miserable hovel, and embodies violence as a lifestyle.
  • The Social Darwinist: Has a “survival for the fittest” mindset, which he uses as an excuse to bully Melvin (whom he considers as a wuss).

Melvin Piddle
A wimpy, bespectacled kid who happens to be Billy’s favourite bullying target.
  • Butt-Monkey: He’s a loser who frequently gets bullied by Billy.
  • Flat Character: His character can be summed up with "Billy's stock-nerd punching bag."
  • Geek Physique: Has a short and lanky stature, which makes him an easy target for bullies.
  • Nerd Glasses: Melvin wears a large, black spectacles that frankly looks unflattering, and makes him look even more like a wimp.
  • Satellite Character: As noted above he is only charaterized by being Billy's favorite bulllying victim. It's only in the class trip where he gets to interact with the other classmates, but even then it's very brief.

Rhett Dillinger
The newest member of Class 6-F, who moved in from Riverview shortly before the class graduates from elementary school. A charming flirt, Rhett quickly won the hearts of Lolita and Tara, although he is very much more interested in Nikki.
  • "Awesome McCool" Name: Or so he thinks. Dillinger is a name he adopted for himself to make his own name sound cooler.
  • The Charmer: He likes to flirt with pretty girls, and is having some success with the aloof Nikki Danton. Even Davina explicitly calls him a charmer.
  • Doorstop Baby: He was dumped by his parents on somebody’s back door.
  • Expy: According to Word of God, Rhett Dillinger's character concept is based on Ferris Bueller.
  • Kidanova: Two girls (Lolita and Tara) have taken a liking for him since his first appearance, and another (Nikki) is starting to fall for him as well.
  • New Transfer Student: A latecomer to the class roster, being transferred from Riverview just before the end of the academic year.
  • Pretty Boy: He’s pretty much the best looking guy in class 6-F, if not in the whole Scumthorpe verse.

    The Scrap Row boys 
A group of boys who resides in the Scrap Row district, and whom Ashton Byrne frequently hangs out with outside school. They are considered the series’ “secondary protagonists” .

Carrot Camberwell
One of Byrne's good friends who attends the unseen Class 6-E in the Sunset Valley elementary school. Both of his parents are hippies, and he's shown some stoner tendencies as a result. Despite this, he has quite a lot of common sense compared to his friends.
  • Alliterative Name: Carrot Camberwell.
  • Book Dumb: Admits that he failed his remedial Simlish course, which is why he's the only one of the group who managed to get off questioning Lily's magic mirror. Despite his poor academic skills, he's got a lot more common sense than either Byrne or (especially) Trent.
  • Early-Bird Cameo: He first appears in an out-of-story post a teen planned as one of the triplets' future High School acquaintances. The character was eventually de-aged and turned into Byrne's elementary school friend instead.
  • Embarrassing First Name: He’s named after a root vegetable, and this is presumably why he’s mostly referred to with his last name.
  • Hidden Depths: For someone who doesn't do so well in school, he surprisingly has a lot of common sense and understanding of other people. For example, he was the one who reprimanded Trent after the latter unintentionally made an insulting remark about Carrie's facial scars.
  • Last-Name Basis: Like Byrne, he's always called "Camberwell" rather than "Carrot".
  • Never Bareheaded: He is never seen without his bean hat.
  • Security Blanket: His hat was his baby blanket once, which his mother later sewed into a hat. He never takes it off because of this.

Trent Rechsteiner
A reckless kid who frequently makes poorly-thought-out decisions to attract attention. He goes into the same class as Camberwell.
  • Casanova Wannabe: He claims that many girls like him, but the one time we see him try to flirt, his attempt failed miserably.
    Trent: (to Lily’s magic mirror) Mirror, if you know my fate, will me and Nikki ever date?
    Nikki: Mirror, let me answer that: You've got no chance in hell, you twat.
  • Dirty Kid: He is banned from the local public library after they caught him Googling “boobs” on the computers.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Byrne, Camberwell and Nathan all agree that he's the most annoying of the group, considering how his Leeroy Jenkins tendency often get the others in trouble.
  • Gag Haircut: He sports a ridiculous Mohawk-ponytail-hybrid hairstyle, nicknamed the “ponyhawk”, which everyone else ridicules. His friends believes this to be the reason for his failed attempts at romance.
  • It Seemed Like a Good Idea at the Time: Tends not to think through his actions, and uses this as a Catchphrase excuse when he is called out for it.
  • Leeroy Jenkins: Never thinks through his actions, and frequently displays a suicidal overconfidence as a result. At one point, he tried to play with the Polybius machine to see what happens, despite knowing what harm it could potentially do to him.
  • Never Live It Down: In-Universe. The other boys would still poke fun at his ponyhawk whenever he comes up with a terrible idea or screws something up.
  • Pretty Boy: According to his mates, Trent would be very attractive if not for his ponyhawk.
  • Troubled, but Cute: Is from the rough side of town, but is noted as being good-looking.

Nathan Bajek

A wheel-chaired boy who has half of his leg missing after the Bulgristles’ dog ate it when he was a toddler.
  • An Arm and a Leg: He’s missing his right leg.
  • Animal Nemesis: Considers the Bulgristles’ dog as his #1 enemy, because it ate his leg when he was a toddler.
  • Celebrity Resemblance: Is said to look very much like a miniature version of Tom Hiddleston's Loki.
  • Chick Magnet: We haven’t actually seen girls flock over him, but his potential popularity has been noted by other characters.
    Nikki: I mean... Tall? Dark? Snarky? Looks kind of like a miniature Loki in the right light? Girls are gonna love you in middle school, you mark my words.
    Trent: What th- oh, godammit, Nathan! Quit making pretty girls like you! That's so not fair! You know I saw her first!
    Byrne: But he isn't even trying
  • Don't You Dare Pity Me!: He doesn't like having people feel sorry for him, whatever the reason, and avoids having people try to help him get around whenever possible.
  • The Smart Guy: Probably the most intelligent of all the Scraprow boys, considering how he’s the only one of them who is literate enough to question the magic mirror.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: Nathan is probably the most sensible of the group, and gets frequently exasperated by his friends' antics, especially Byrne's Tara-obsession and Trent's general lack of common sense.
  • Tall, Dark, and Snarky: He's a few inches taller than his peers, has dark hair, and can be very snide to his friends if need be.

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