The characters appearing on The Ranch.
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The Bennett Family
- Played by Ashton Kutcher
- The Casanova: Colt may be lacking when it comes to book smarts, but he seems to be pretty good at charming the ladies.
- Drowning My Sorrows: Colt gets sloppy drunk after being rejected by Abby early in the first season. He then proceeds to make an embarrassing drunken speech to the football team.
- Dumb Jock : When Abby uses a word more than two syllables long, she has to translate for him.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling : The more foolish of the Bennett boys.
- Friends with Benefits: His relationship with Heather begins as this. Although after a while he becomes her actual boyfriend.
- Genius Ditz: Colt isn't the sharpest knife in the drawer, but he does have his talents. He's very good at delivering breech birth calves, and he also knows a lot about football strategy.
- A Hero to His Hometown: Colt is the most famous person to come out of Garrison, Colorado; A star high school and college football player who wasn't quite good enough to make it to the NFL. Still, he is considered a celebrity in his hometown and the local high school football players dream of being the next Colt Bennett.
- Jaded Washout: In one episode, Colt begins to believe that he peaked in high school and his best years are behind him. He falls into a state of depression, which leads to him getting sloppy drunk and embarrassing himself in front of the high school football team.
- Jerk Jock: He's a womanizer and screws up just about everything he touches.
- Kissing Under the Influence: Early in the series, Colt (who has been drinking) believes that Abby has been looking for excuses to come out to the Bennett Ranch just so she can see him. He attempts to kiss her, and she flatly rejects him because she's already in a serious relationship with Kenny. She then leaves in anger.
- Metrosexual : Colt is really fond of his hair care regime, and he takes the piss for it a lot.Beau: What kinda dipshit pays 85 bucks for a pair of jeans?
- Mr. Fanservice: Colt takes his shirt off a few times in the show, and rear nudity is seen as he steps into the shower in one scene.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy : Always looking for Beau's approval.
- Played by Sam Elliott
- Abusive Parents: While not intended to be malicious, his constant critizing and insulting of his children comes across as verbal abuse and is a big reason both of them are both so screwed up. Somewhat understandable, as Beau comes from a time when parents were expected to be tough on their children to prepare them for the difficulties of adult life.
- Alliterative Name
- Badass Grandpa: Beau and Colt almost come to blows more than once, and Beau doesn't back down an inch when this happens.Beau: I ain't too old to kick your ass!
- Badass Mustache : Of course, it's Sam Elliot. Discussed in one episode, when the boys suggest Burt Reynolds has the best mustache. Kenny even asks if he should grow a mustache.
- Conspiracy Theorist: Beau is this to a mild degree. He's distrustful of banks and the government, and believes that North Korea is planning to invade the United States.
- Control Freak: Beau has to be in charge and things have to be done his way to the point he tries to do everything himself much to the frustration of others.
- Cool Old Guy : He's a rancher.
- Dad the Veteran: Beau served in the Vietnam War. He and his family were all glad he returned home safe.
- Deadpan Snarker: Although Beau isn't as sarcastic as Rooster, he definitely has his moments of snark.
- Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Beau is insulted by the idea of accepting charity from others, no matter how badly he needs the money. He also has little sympathy for people who expect a handout but don't want to work for it.
- Fanboy: Beau absolutely worships John Wayne and Ronald Reagan. In fact, his cell phone ring tone is Reagan's famous quote from the speech at Brandenberg Gate: "Mr. Gorbachev, tear down this wall!"
- Good Old Ways: Beau is old-fashioned in his values, habits, and beliefs. He respects hard work and integrity, has no patience for people who make excuses or expect handouts, and his only ambition seems to be to work his ranch until he passes. He doesn't seem to own a cell phone and still makes calls with a land-line phone, he reads the newspaper instead of checking the internet, and he drives a beat-up old pickup truck that's decades old.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Beneath his gruff cowboy exterior, Beau really is a good man. He's surprisingly gentle in his interactions with Maggie, and in Episode 10 he buys back the championship ring that Colt sold to help the ranch.
- Jerk with the Heart of a Jerk: On the other hand, some of his more tender moments are ruined by him reverting to his Jerkass behavior in the next breath or soon afterwords.
- Never My Fault: Beau sometimes has trouble accepting his role in how things turn out instead blaming others.
- Not So Different: From his other father who constantly criticized him until one day Beau got fed up with it and walked away to get drunk. Sadly, he did not turn out any better.
- Pride: Beau's major flaw and the source of his others and most of his problems. Beau's pride makes him stubborn, controlling, and almost impossible to see when he is wrong or attempt to change. The difficulty of living with it is what drives people away from him. Sadly, he almost never realizes this and the few times he does can barely admit it or do anything about it.
- Real Men Eat Meat: Beau's diet is heavy on beef (unsurprising, since he is a cattle rancher), and he blanches at the idea of eating salad.
- Real Men Hate Affection : Both the Bennett sons can count on one hand the number of times their father hugged them.
- He does seem pretty attached to his cows.
- Real Men Love Jesus: Although Beau doesn't seem overtly religious, he does offer a surprisingly poetic and beautiful prayer of thanks before dinner in one episode.
- Silver Fox : Both Heather and her mother discuss how hot the Bennett men are. Colt uses the exact words "silver fox" when talking about Beau's hair.
- Surrounded by Idiots: Beau's general opinion of everyone besides himself especially his sons. And he makes sure to let everybody know this is what he thinks.
Jameson "Rooster" Bennett
- Played by Danny Masterson
- Basement-Dweller : He stayed at home after Colt left to play football.
- Brilliant, but Lazy: Rooster knows the cattle business inside and out, and is a hard worker. This gets him hired by Neumann's Hill as a ranch manager. Hes also a hard partyer who scoffs at rules and authority, which soon gets him fired from said job.
- Deadpan Snarker: As an Expy the Hyde character from That '70s Show, Rooster is this.
- Failure Is the Only Option: When asked, it seems he never even considered leaving the ranch. Except to start a topless taco stand.
- Fatal Flaw: His utter contempt for rules, regulations and paperwork lead him to failure every time he tries to work anywhere but the family ranch.
- In Part 3 he is hired by the Neumann's Hill corporation to run one of their ranches but he puts off paperwork, ignores e-mails, brushes off project deadlines, tries to use company money to take employees to a strip club and generally reacts with insolence to any attempt at oversight by the company. This eventually gets him fired.
- In Part 4 when Maggie returns from her travels, she finds that while Rooster was running the bar, the books became an utter mess, he was ignoring all labor regulations by paying employees under the table and got the bar fined for serving alcohol to a minor. Maggie promptly takes the bar back and tells him she will find someone else to run it in the future.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold : As self-described, then Mary states he's sweet and sensitive.
- Killed Off for Real: At least it appears that way as of Part 6. His bike is found at the bottom of a ravine, followed by clothing with blood on it...while a wolf is running wild.
- Limited Wardrobe : Because he spends most of his time working on the ranch, it's justified. He does, however, own three ties: one for church, one for funerals, and Mary gives him one for "other."
- Lovable Sex Maniac: Nothing attracts Rooster to a woman more than finding out that she's easy, and it's implied that he's had multiple STDs in his life. In one episode, he admits to using a T.J. Maxx catalog as masturbation material because the power was out and he didn't have internet access.
- Only Known by Their Nickname : Maggie is the only one who calls him "Jameson."
- The Stoner: He keeps a bag of marijuana in the vegetable crisper, and tells Beau that it's kale because he know that means Beau will never touch it.
- The Unfavorite : Beau is hard on both his boys, but Rooster seems more off-put by it.
- "Well Done, Son!" Guy : While he still looks for Beau's approval, Rooster seems more accepting of Beau's gruffness. Probably because he's more like Beau.
- Cool Old Lady : She owns a bar and lets her sons drink for free.
- Older Than They Look : Debra Winger is 62, and looks like she's in her forties.
- Flanderization: In Part 1, she's portrayed as a country girl who also happens to like smoking pot (she even goes duck hunting with Beau and her sons). By part 3, she's practically a Granola Girl.
- Outdoorsy Gal: She enjoys hunting just as much as her sons and Beau do.
- The Stoner : Likes to get high, listen to Bonnie Raitt, and dance naked. Also, she broke her microwave because she got high and tried to microwave a frying pan.
Abigail 'Abby' Phillips
- Played by Elisha Cuthbert
- Girl Next Door : Colt's high school sweetheart, who stayed in the small town and became a teacher.
- Betty and Veronica : Betty to the sexy young Heather.
- Hypocrite: She demands that Colt respect her relationship with Kenny, while at the same time she shows little respect for Colt's relationship with Heather. Colt even mentions this to Rooster in one episode.
- Kissing Under the Influence: In an Ironic Echo of a scene from a previous episode, a very drunk Abby tries to kiss Colt. But this time, he rejects her.
- The One That Got Away : She and Colt still have feelings.
- Hot Teacher : Very attractive. Downplayed, in that she's slightly stuffy and often seems weirded out by her students growing up.
- Never My Fault: She pretty much always finds a way to push the blame to someone else.
- Vomit Discretion Shot: It's mentioned that Abby vomited all over Heather's favorite Forever 21 shirt. But this is not shown; it's only mentioned after the fact.
Kenneth 'Kenny' Ballard
- Played by Bret Harrison
- Adorkable : He's nerdy. He works at the Marriott.
- Band Geek : Kenny was in the band in high school, much to Colt's derision.
- Betty and Veronica : For Abby, he is Betty to Colt's Veronica.
- Girl-on-Girl Is Hot: When Heather offers to let Abby do a shot from her mouth, Kenny remarks that he's okay with it.
- Nice Guy: He in unwaveringly friendly to everyone and the only named character who never swears.
- Until the second half of Season One, when he delivers an epic The Reason You Suck speech to Colt.
- Put on a Bus: He is nowhere to be seen in Part 3.
- Played by Kelli Goss
- Betty and Veronica : Veronica, to Abby's Betty, for Colt.
- Bi the Way: At Colt's party, Heather offers to let Abby do a shot out of her mouth. In a later episode, Heather mentions that she's had at least one "girl-on-girl experience."
- Buxom Is Better: Heather is quite busty, and when she walks out of the house wearing only a bra Rooster can't stop staring at her. Heather herself seems to be aware that she's got nice boobs; when Colt asks where her shirt is she remarks "Do you really care?"
- The Dog Bites Back: After enduring several bitchy, passive-aggressive remarks from Abby over a season and a half, Heather decides she's had enough and gives Abby a well-deserved "The Reason You Suck" Speech after Abby implies that Heather intentionally got pregnant.
- Ethical Slut: Heather is a genuinely nice person who also happens to really enjoy sex.
- Friends with Benefits: Heather's relationship with Colt starts out as this, but eventually she becomes his actual girlfriend.
- Good Girls Avoid Abortion: After Heather finds out that she's pregnant with Colt's child, she plans on getting an abortion. But after arriving at the clinic and filling out the paperwork, she is unable to go through with it and decides to keep the baby.
- Hidden Depths: At first Heather seems to be nothing more than a blonde bimbo, but as the show goes on we learn that she has been involved with 4H and is also an accomplished rodeo athlete. She is also quite mature and level-headed despite her young age, with a quick sense of humor (she dupes Colt into believing she has a baby, and moments later dupes him again into thinking she has a convict ex-boyfriend).
- MayDecember Romance : She's 22 to Colt's 34. Ironically, she's Closer to Earth than Bennett is.
- Morality Pet: Beau treats her with genuine kindness, especially after she gets pregnant with Colt's baby.
- Ms. Fanservice : Spends most of her time running around in her bra and panties. Lampshaded by Colt.Colt: "What happened to your top?"Heather: "Do you really care?"
- Nice Girl: She has a bit of a temper, but she's a genuinely sweet girl.
- Outdoorsy Gal : She participates in rodeo and is a former 4H club member. Her calf's name was "Dairy Potter."
- Really Gets Around: Some comments made by Heather imply that she has a very scandalous sexual history, and there are few sex acts that she hasn't done at least once.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: She gives a brief, but long time coming one to Abby after one too many snide comments.Heather: You know what, Abby? You think you're so much better and smarter than everyone, but you're not. You're a fucking high school teacher in Garrison. Get over yourself.
- Played by Megyn Price
- Absurdly Youthful Mother : Mary was only 17 when she had her first child.
- Functional Addict : Though most of the main characters are this to a point, Mary's case is particularly bad, and things start to fall apart for her as of Part 6.
- Mama Bear: Mary threatens to cut Colt's balls off if he cheats on her daughter.
- Stacy's Mom : For Rooster, who meets her when he drops off her daughter (Heather's sister).
- Played by Molly McCook
- Berserk Button: Her ex-boyfriend, who got her pregnant and then left her for another woman.
- Hair-Trigger Temper: While on a date with Rooster, she has multiple angry outbursts when she checks her cell phone and sees that her ex has posted pictures to social media of him with his attractive new girlfriend.
- Played by Grady Lee Richmond
- Abhorrent Admirer : To Maggie.
- The Alcoholic : To be fair, we only see him at the bar, so he may have a life outside of drinking that we don't see.
- Hidden Depths: He occasionally surprises people by saying something cultured or perceptive. Jerry indicates that Hank may actually be a lawyer.
Beer Pong Billy
- Played by Ethan Suplee
- Police are Useless : Billy didn't get into college and wasn't hired in any of the fast food joints he applied to...so he became a cop.
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: He is portly and balding, but his girlfriend is at least 10 years younger and extremely hot.
- Played by Barry Corbin
- Dr. Jerk: He's the town veterinarian for Garrison, and his demeanor is often anything but pleasant.
- Grumpy Old Man: Even more so than Beau, Dale is a cantankerous old bastard.
- Foil: For Beau in the second season. While both are emotionally-distant, cantankerous old ranchers Dale can at least enjoy life, be pleasant to others (when he feels like it), tries to reconnect with his wife and do things she wants, and accept that things sometimes do not work out except doing your best and everything correctly. Beau perpetually miserable, makes others miserable, can barely be motivated to so something his wife wants, and always has to blame somebody for when things go wrong.
- I Can't Hear You: Dale is nearly deaf in one ear, and it often results in him misunderstanding people or completely not hearing them.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Beau. They're constantly insulting each other, but they are longtime friends, and at one point they sit down and have a heart-to-heart talk.
- Played by Dax Shepherd