Character sheet for The Mick.
Mackenzie "Mickey" Molng
A loud, crude, irresponsible grifter from Rhode Island who crashes her wealthy sister's barbecue to ask for a handout, only to find herself left in charge of her spoiled niece and and nephews when their parents flee the country.
- Alliterative Name: Mackenzie (or Mickey) Molng.
- Cool Aunt: She tells Sabrina that she wants the kids to see her as this, though in reality she couldn't care less and they don't respect her enough for the trope to really apply.
- Establishing Character Moment: She's introduced casually going about her morning routine in the middle of a grocery store, ignoring the disapproving stares from fellow shoppers and pilfering items all the while.
- Everyone Has Standards: As selfish and irresponsible as she is, even Mickey is appalled when her sister and brother-in-law go on the lam without even bothering to tell their kids in person.
- Expy: She's basically Sweet Dee with slightly more self-awareness.
- Fish out of Water: Sticks out like a sore thumb in the snooty, upper-crust world of the Pembertons and their ilk.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Foolish to Poodle's responsible, though this gets played with somewhat when it turns out Poodle is wanted by the feds.
- Gender-Blender Name: Her nickname is gender-neutral bordering on masculine, which fits with her loud, boorish personality.
- Global Ignorance: Refers to Guatemala as a "tiny island nation".
- Harmful to Minors: Mickey has no idea how to be responsible for the kids and routinely gets them into situations which would get the social services called in real life.
- He Is Not My Boyfriend: She insists that Jimmy isn't her boyfriend whenever he introduces himself as such, despite the fact that they've been sleeping together for a decade.
- Hustler: She doesn't have a real job and scams her way from one easy payday to the next.
- Jerkass: Mickey is rude, selfish, manipulative and only seems to care about cruising through life with as little effort and cost to herself as she can get away with.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: As volatile and rude as she is, Mickey does truly care for the people around her.
- The Lad-ette: Crass, aggressive, foul-mouthed and borderline alcoholic.
- Manipulative Bitch: She is able to easily manipulate Alba and Jimmy with promises of friendship and sex, respectively. It's somewhat less effective on the kids, however.
- Pet the Dog:
- Seems to have a bit of a soft spot for Ben, at one point letting him play hooky from school and buying (well, stealing) him ice cream just because he said he missed his parents.
- She tells Poodle and Christopher that all the kids are wonderful... and then admits that it's an exaggeration, but considering how terrible their parents are, they're doing an amazing job.
- Promotion to Parent: Ends up as the main guardian for her niece and nephews after their parents flee the country, despite being just about the least qualified person for the job.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Attempts to pull this in the second episode by dumping the kids on their paternal grandparents, but has a change of heart after realizing just how miserable her old life really is.
- Slapstick Knows No Gender: All the female characters fall victim to this, but Mickey gets it the worst. In the first two episodes alone she gets run over, falls off a bannister and knocks herself out cold, gets her face slashed up by an owl and gets choked and hit with a hammer by an angry loan shark.
- Slipping a Mickey: Fittingly enough, this seems to be a specialty of hers. In the first episode, she drugs Sabrina by tricking her into drinking "ten different kinds of sleep medication". In the second, she slips an ecstasy tab into Alba's beer so that she's got someone to party with.
- Toxic Friend Influence: To Alba, who she encourages to embrace her hedonistic lifestyle.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Mickey is a vulgar, irresponsible slacker who scams and hustles her way through life and cares very little for anyone but herself. She also the show's main character.
- Womanchild: It's clear that she's never had a single responsibility in her life and her behavior is generally akin to that of a teenage despite the fact that she's closer to forty.
- Worthy Opponent: As of the second episode, Sabrina seems to consider her one since she can respect a healthy rivalry.
The eldest of the three kids, Sabrina is a haughty eighteen-year-old who resents the sudden disruption caused to her privileged lifestyle by her parents' arrest and comes to view Mickey as something of a rival.
- Ambiguously Bi: Sabrina has been shown to admire the female form multiple times. For example, when she was enamored with the beautiful escorts at the hotel and when she goes to the strip club with Chip to meet his degenerate dad, she watches the dancers with interest.
- Pretty much confirmed in "The Juice".
- Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: A tall brunette with a cool and distant personality.
- Bratty Teenage Daughter: Sabrina is extremely self-involved, constantly backtalks Mickey and seems to care more about missing out on her social life than the fact that her family is falling apart. It's implied that she was like this even before Mickey came along, as Liz mentions that she can be "a bit of a handful".
- Deadpan Snarker: Snarks on pretty much everything Mickey says and does, usually in a completely deadpan tone of voice.
- Establishing Character Moment: She's introduced sneaking a cigarette outside her mother's barbecue before snottily refusing to lend Mickey a smoke and making fun of her low-class appearance.
- I Ate WHAT?!: Her reaction at the end of the first episode when Mickey implies that the "chicken" she's been eating is actually the owl that Sabrina's been spending all episode trying to release into the wild.
- Not So Stoic: She claims not to care less that her parents are wanted criminals, but her slack-jawed, voice-cracking reaction when she finds out they've fled the country indicates otherwise, as Mickey cruelly points out.
- Sanity Slippage: Suffers this in the second episode as a result of her grandmother's psychological abuse.
- Slipping a Mickey: Tries to pull this on her grandmother after learning it from Mickey.
- Smoking Is Cool: She's introduced sneaking a cigarette at her mother's party, which fits her cooler-than-thou teen personality quite nicely.
- Soapbox Sadie: Has a tendency to latch onto various liberal causes like Planned Parenthood and animal rights because she thinks they make her look "progressive", despite being generally unable to understand them from her position of privilege.
- Wild Teen Party: Seems to get invited to at least one of these every episode.
- Worthy Opponent: She comes to consider Mickey one by the second episode, pointing out that at least she can appreciate a healthy rivalry.
- Wrong Genre Savvy: She anticipates Mickey trying to put her to sleep by plying her with absinthe, and smugly claims that she can't be out-drunk. Unfortunately for her, she fails to realize that the "absinthe" is actually NyQuil.
The middle child, a smug, entitled thirteen-year-old who sees himself as the man of the house now that his parents are out of the picture.
- Big Brother Bully: Offers Ben a thousand dollars to lick the grill at a Japanese restaurant, resulting in Ben "burning all his tastebuds off".
- Broken Pedestal: He idolizes his paternal grandfather, a decorated war veteran known only as "The Colonel"... until he finds out that he's since suffered a stroke that's rendered him catatonic and is forced to play nursemaid to him.
- Dumbass Teenage Son: Chip is smug, obnoxious and prone to flashing his wealth in the most inappropriate situations.
- Indulgent Fantasy Segue: Idly fantasizes about drowning his catatonic grandfather in the bath.
- Jerkass Victim: It's difficult to feel sorry for him when he gets his nose broken by the school bully, given how thoroughly unpleasant he's been up to that point.
- Preppy Name: Arguably gets hit the worst by this out of all the kids. His name is Chip Pemberton, for goodness' sake.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: He seems to believe that he can make any problem go away if he throws enough cash at it, threatening to sue the federal government for arresting his parents.Chip: Don't worry, Ben, the scales of justice tip in favor of the wealthy. If we throw enough money at this thing, I'm sure it'll go away. And then we'll sue their asses for defamation.
The youngest of the kids, Ben is a sweet yet incredibly sheltered seven-year-old who gets on with Mickey considerably better than his siblings.
- Adorably Precocious Child: Ben is so adorable that not even Mickey is immune to it, though he's also strangely serious for his age.
- Innocently Insensitive: Seems to have no concept of just how wealthy his family is in comparison to the average American, and so has a habit of asking awkward questions.
- Morality Pet: If Mickey is going to be nice to anybody, it's probably going to be Ben.
- Tongue Trauma: He burns all his tastebuds off after Chip dares him to lick a grill in the second episode.
- Played By: Carla Jimenez
The Pembertons' long-suffering maid-slash-nanny, who continues to lend her services to Mickey after her employers flee the country. Desperately wants to be friends with Mickey, who claims that they're equals but is just as likely to use her for personal gain.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Alba is a genuinely sweet lady most of the time, but that doesn't stop her from knocking a security guard out cold when he threatens to call the cops on Mickey. Later, she says that it made her feel more alive than she's ever felt before.
- Butt-Monkey: If someone's getting stranded in a swimming pool or left as collateral in the hands of a violent loan shark, it's probably Alba.
- Ethnic Menial Labor: Of the "Hispanic maid" variety. She mentions in the second episode that the kids' grandfather personally brought her and her mother over from Guatemala.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: Implied. Mickey is able to easily manipulate her into going along with dangerous schemes by invoking their "friendship", despite the fact that Mickey actually treats her pretty poorly most of the time.
- Intoxication Ensues:
- After Mickey spikes her beer with ecstasy and drags her out clubbing.
- In later episodes, she's shown to be fond of mushrooms and hookah, and shows up to help Mickey and Sabrina completely drunk.Mickey: At first I was encouraging her, but now she's steering the ship.
- Only Sane Man: Between Mickey's antics and the kids' other world snobbishness, she tends to come off as this. In the second episode she outright spells out to Mickey just how sad and scary her life actually is.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Leaves the Pemberton mansion with Mickey in the second episode, though she's desperate to return after experiencing how Mickey lives for herself.
- Token Minority: The only non-white member of the main cast.
- Took a Level in Badass
- Trouble Entendre: Played for laughs; after Liz and a security guard both end up unconscious in the Pembertons' foyer, she assures Mickey that she'll "take care of it".Mickey: Now, just to clarify, when you say "take care of it"...?Alba: Oh, I mean I'll take them home, make sure they're okay...
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: She can't swim and is deathly afraid of water. Naturally, she ends up stranded in the pool in the pilot episode.
- Played By: Scott MacArthur
Mickey's long-term not-boyfriend, who's just as unpleasant as she is.
- Birds of a Feather: He's just as crude, lazy and self-involved as Mickey, arguably even more so.
- Born Unlucky: Every time he has had an opportunity to advance in life, it's somehow ruined, although sometimes it seems that most of his misfortunes are actually caused by Mickey.
- Embarrassing Tattoo: Gets "RIP MICK" tattooed on his chest after running her over with his car and believing her to be dead. He claims that he regrets it when he finds out she's alive.
- Friends with Benefits: How Mickey sees their relationship.
- Harmful to Minors: He attempts to teach Chip and Ben about self-sufficiency by pulling his rotten tooth out in front of them...using dozens of cans worth of whippets as anesthetic, a jug of vodka as disinfectant, and a pair of pliers.
- He Is Not My Boyfriend: He introduces himself to Alba and the kids as "the boyfriend", which Mickey immediately denies. Notably, when Mickey offers him anything he wants as payment for getting shot in the ass, he asks to put a label on their relationship. Mickey insists he choose something else.
- It's All About Me: When Mickey calls him out for running her over and driving off without even stopping to check if she was okay, he asks whether she's considered how he felt about it.
- Jerkass: Again, he ran Mickey — who he considers to be his girlfriend — over with his car, and he didn't even stop.
- Tragic Keepsake: Played for laughs; he takes to wearing Mickey's robe when he believes her to be dead, claiming that he "misses her smell".
- Played By: Susan Park
Poodle's friend and neighbor, who keeps dropping in on Mickey and the kids.
- Alpha Bitch: A grown-up version.
- Asian Airhead: An Asian woman who comes off as slightly ditzy.
- Condescending Compassion: She's always quick to offer Mickey her help, in a way that makes it clear she thinks Mickey is totally incapable of looking after the kids without irreversibly ruining them.
- Nosy Neighbor: The Pembertons' neighbor, who's constantly trying to dig up the dirt on Mickey.
Pamela "Poodle" Pemberton
Mickey's estranged older sister, who married rich some time ago and disapproves of Mickey's degenerate lifestyle. After she and her husband are arrested by the FBI, she flees the country and leaves her kids in Mickey's care.
- Alliterative Name: Poodle Pemberton, though it's not her real name. Although, her real name is Pamela, so it still applies.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Responsible to Mickey's foolish, though this gets played with somewhat when she gets arrested for fraud.
- Green-Eyed Monster: When she comes back, she tries to freeze Mickey out and blames her for everything the kids have done wrong while she was gone. While she's right that Mickey is a pretty terrible parent, it quickly becomes apparent that she's mad at Mickey for being a better mother than she was, and that the kids stood up for her.
- Insistent Terminology: She wasn't a stripper, she was a waitress in a strip club.Mickey: You were a topless waitress. And that's even worse, 'cause it just means you couldn't dance.
- Kick the Dog:
- The first thing she does when she comes back is order Alba to make dinner and wear her maid uniform. While the first one is fair enough (that is why she hired Alba, after all), but the second is just mean.
- She is dismissive of Ben's questioning gender identity, instead choosing to make snippy comments about Mickey ruining him by letting him wear women's clothing.
- When she's leaving for good, she foists the kids on Mickey as little more than an afterthought, and clearly more because she wants Mickey to stop yelling at her than because she is actually worried about their safety.
- Nouveau Riche: She comes from the same poor background as Mickey, but married rich.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: She's only ever addressed as "Poodle" (and even refers to herself as such on her voicemail), though Mickey's reaction on hearing it for the first time makes it clear that it's not her real name.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Flees the country at the end of the pilot.
- White Collar Crime: She and her husband are wanted by the FBI for charges relating to fraud and tax evasion.
- Your Cheating Heart: In the season finale, she tells her husband that Chip isn't his. Notably, no one else hears this.