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The Lads

     In General
From left to right; Will, Neil, Jay, and Simon.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Masturbation jokes run abound with these four. Jay tends to be shown or mentioned as doing it the most often, but Neil, Simon, and even Will are all also outed as frequent masturbators.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Sex is their prime objective in just about every episode.
  • Anti-Hero: Each of the four leads is some combination of an idiot and an asshole, though they all also have their occasional moments of kindness.
  • Butt-Monkey: Every episode ends with one or all of the boys utterly humiliated.
  • Cannot Talk to Women: With the exception of Neil, whose idiocy still turns off most women, all of the boys become tongue-tied when speaking to girls. For all his awkwardness, Will actually tends to fair the best in this department out of himself, Simon and Jay.
  • Childhood Friends: Neil, Simon and Jay have known each other for ten years by the start of the series.
  • Comic Trio: Prior to Will entering the picture, Jay was the clueless leader, Neil was the dumb follower, and Simon was the ignored voice of reason. After Will joins the group, he and Simon alternate between being the voice of reason, and occasionally double up on the position.
  • Did Not Get the Girl: Happens almost Once per Episode, although there's some rare exceptions.
  • Failure Is the Only Option: If anything good ever happens or seems to be happening to one of them, expect it to be ripped away by the end of the episode, either by their own idiocy or the meddling of the other three.
  • Four-Man Band:
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble:
    • Straight-laced and boring Will is Melancholic
    • Hot-headed romantic Simon is Sanguine
    • Cheeky motor-mouth Jay is Choleric
    • Dim-witted but easy-going Neil is Phlegmatic
  • The Friends Who Never Hang: Neil and Simon rarely interact without at least one of the other two around to act as a buffer. This is subtly lampshaded in "Exam Time", where they're left alone in a bar together after Jay steps out to be with his girlfriend. By the time the narrative returns to them, they're shown standing in awkward silence in the exact same spot they were last seen in, implying that the conversation died as soon as it was just the two of them.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: They collectively qualify as a four-way example, if only because no one else wants to hang out with them. In particular, the duos of Will and Simon and Jay and Neil are presented as being closer to each other than they are with the other two.
  • Hollywood Dateless: They've all gone as far as kissing at least one girl, despite being depicted as near-pariahs to the opposite sex.
  • Hormone-Addled Teenager: All four boys tend to think with their dicks. Even the relatively sensible Will and Simon will do the dumbest things imaginable if they think it could get them laid.
  • Idiot Hero: While Will is sensible and has booksmarts, he's also cripplingly inept socially. The other three don't even have that going for them.
  • It's All About Me: All four of them are quite conceited and have a tendency to ignore the feelings of others when speaking or making decisions. Very much justified, as they're a bunch of teenage boys, who are famously self-involved.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: As rude as they can be, the boys aren't deliberately bad people, and are shown to care about each other fairly regularly.
  • Likes Older Women: Will's love interests tend to be older than him. Neil has tried to kiss his biology teacher and had sex with several women decades older than himself. Jay tried to get a blowjob from an old lady. And of course, there's the standard reaction to Will's Mum.
  • Limited Social Circle: Barring the rare occassions when one of them has a girlfriend or when they begrudge Big John's desire to hang out, they have no other friends outside of each other. In fact, when Jay starts to get on with a guy outside of the group, the other three immediately begin mocking him for it until he gives in and lights the budding friendsip aflame.
  • Loser Protagonist: They're all pretty pathetic, to the point where their status as social outcasts isn't hard to believe. Simon could qualify as a Cool Loser, but his frequent desperation often causes whatever coolness he has to dissipate when he needs it most.
  • Naked People Are Funny: Whether it be because their clothes were soiled, a chance at sex backfired at the last minute or they were pranked, expect somebody to be starkers for a laugh.
  • Politically Incorrect Hero: Their go-to insults tend to be calling each other gay.
  • Rag Tag Bunch Of Misfits: A group of four lads consisting of a posh Nerd with No Social Skills and a tendency to either snark at everything or put his foot in it, a hopeless romantic with such a single-minded crush on one girl that he utterly fails to pick up on when other women are into him, a Know-Nothing Know-It-All with a penchant for Blatant Lies, with particular attention paid to exaggerating his experience with women, and an idiot with poor personal hygiene.
  • Slobs vs. Snobs: Posh brown-noser Will and cheeky chav Jay tend to butt heads the most often among the group.
  • Tall Poppy Syndrome: If one of them has anything positive happen to them, expect the other three, deliberately or not, to sabotage it.
  • Technical Virgin: Despite their shared obsession with losing their virginities throughout the series, all four of them have managed to engage in some form of sexual contact with a woman at least once.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Will, Jay and Simon are all varying degrees of Jerkasses and Neil is a blundering idiot. While it isn't hard to feel for them at times, it's much more difficult to argue that they don't usually bring it on themselves. At the end of the day, though, the audience still holds some level of empathy for them, since everybody can relate to having been a stupid, selfish teenager at one point or another.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: They spend about 90% of their time snarking at each other, but when the chips are down, they all rally around each other.

     Will McKenzie 

William "Will" McKenzie
...I'm the worst human being in the world.

Played by: Simon Bird
The Narrator. A prep school ponce who has been forced to enter the public educational system following the divorce of his parents. Will wants more than anything to have an enriching high school experience, but is instead condemned to a life of public humiliation and social ostracization due to a combination of his witless new friends, his raging sense of entitlement, and his general ineptness.

  • Adorkable: When he's not being pompous, he has his moments.
  • Affectionate Nickname: His mum calls him "Petal".
  • Ambiguously Brown: Comes up exactly once, when Patrice mistakes him for an Arab.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Lampshaded by Lauren, who wonders if he's ever been tested for Asperger's.
  • Audience Surrogate: In the early episodes, he's the newest student at Rudge Park, so his narration introduces the audience to life at the school.
  • Berserk Button: In any situation where he perceives unfair treatment, he tends to overreact. It always backfires.
    • Hypocrisy is another one - for instance, in the second movie Katie repeatedly talks about how "spiritual" she is, but then succumbs to base instincts of hooking up with arrogant, unpleasant ex Ben, even though she doesn't even like him. Will explodes with a "The Reason You Suck" Speech at both of them.
  • Blind Without 'Em: When he temporarily loses his glasses in the first movie, he finds that he can't see in the dark and accidentally trips over Nikos having sex with another woman.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: As a result of nerves and too many energy drinks, he shits himself during an exam.
  • Butt-Monkey: Isolating himself on his first day in a new school, shitting himself in an exam, being bullied by Donovan, being mocked for having a briefcase. Will doesn't have the best of luck.
  • Camp Straight: He's rather effeminate.
  • Carpet of Virility: Subverted. He's got a very hairy chest in the first series, but he's not exactly Rated M for Manly. After that, he's either shaved or waxed it, as he appears with a hairless chest in any Shirtless Scene.
    • Lampshaded in the commentary for one of the early episodes; the cast mention no 16-year-old would have that much chest hair, which is why this is averted in all episodes after.
  • Catchphrase: "Hi! I'm Will."
  • Chivalrous Pervert: Sometimes. While he is keen to have sex, he has qualms about taking advantage of a girl he's not really all that interested in or having sex in a crowded hostel with a girl who's had too much to drink.
  • The Complainer Is Always Wrong: Anytime he raises an objection (moral and otherwise), he gets shot down by others, even when he's right. Especially when he's right.
  • Cool Loser: Zig-zagged. When he actually picks up (or at least is close to picking up) girls, it's usually because they fall for his peculiar humor or pertinent sarcasm. But most of the time, these traits just make people consider him to be a pompous, socially awkward sycophant.
  • Covert Pervert: While he usually roles his eyes at Jay's obsession with sex, he proves time and time again to be a sucker for a pretty face.
  • Cunning Linguist: Is the only member of the group that has any knowledge of any language other than English (as shown by his conversation in French with Patrice). Downplayed, though, as he doesn't find himself in any other situations where other languages are needed (if he knows any) and justified in that he's probably studying French for his A levels.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Particularly in the narrations. In fact, it's what women find most attractive in him.
  • Decoy Protagonist: Arguably; while Will is The Narrator, it's generally Simon whose romantic relationships take center stage within the plot.
  • Digging Yourself Deeper: Has a tendency to keep going off on tirades long after he should have stopped, most notably in his rebuffing of Kerri.
    • The mechanics at the garage are reasonably friendly towards him...until Will starts telling them he's "too clever" for their job.
    • In the movie after he found out he'd taken a disabled girls seat he continued arguing even though you could tell even he wasn't really on his own side anymore.
  • Disappeared Dad: His father leaves his mother prior to the start of the series, meaning that she can no longer afford to send him to the private school he was attending previously, forcing him to go to Rudge Park. He doesn't make an appearance until the first movie.
  • Does Not Like Guns: In the second movie's ending, the rest of the lads fire off a few rounds at a Laotian gun range. Will declines to participate.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: He gets very annoyed when Oneshot Character Lauren prefers Simon over him.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: "Briefcase Wanker" (or some variation thereof) until the time he shits himself.
  • Establishing Character Moment: In the very first episode, we see his overall social status and mistreatment by everyone from teachers to classmates. But his very first interaction on the show also features him saying the wrong thing to Mr. Gilbert, then later insulting Gilbert in front of the entire class, showcasing his socially awkward qualities.
  • Extraverted Nerd: For all his geekiness, he's generally more confident when speaking to girls and strangers than Simon and Jay are. This is just as much a weakness as it is a strength, however, as with this confidence comes a dangerous amount of self-righteous tactlessness that often gets him into hot water.
  • Fatal Flaw: Will is terrible at resisting peer pressure - most of the mishaps that happen to him over the series are because he goes along with what his friends are doing against his better judgement.
    • Also, as Will himself lampshades, he will do anything to impress a girl he fancies. This bites him in the ass over and over again.
    • And his stubbornness; when he's riled up or hard-done-by he just refuses to back down on an argument and keeps Digging Himself Deeper long after the point where he should have gracefully backed off has passed.
  • Fish out of Water: The beginning of the series sees him transplanted from a posh private school to a state-run secondary school, making him stand out amongst everyone else.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric/Melancholic.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Along with Jay, he tends to fall into this the most. In the first episode, the other three are extremely reluctant to hang out with him and see him as a loser (Simon only being obligated as his guide). While they do show that they care about Will later on, they are often frustrated by his straight-laced attitude.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Tends to go off into a massive rant at relatively minor things such as people taking the front seats on a roller coaster, being denied alcohol or being assumed to be in a relationship with a girl he has no interest in.
  • Has a Type:
    • Most of the women he has been attracted to over the series and movies - Charlotte, Lauren, Alison and Katie - have been blonde. Katie and Alison look similar enough that some fans mistook their actresses for the same person.
    • In addition to this, with the exception of Lauren, these women are portrayed as sexually confident, often speaking frankly on the subject.
  • The Heart: He's the most morally-upstanding person of the group and tries to rein in their wilder activities, but he almost always succumbs to peer pressure anyway.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: Due to being the most reasonable members of the group, Will and Simon bond relatively quickly. By series 3, he openly calls Simon his best friend in the narration.
  • Hidden Depths: You wouldn't expect a ninny like him to be a roller coaster buff, would you? Though in keeping with character, he gets queasy and frightened when he actually gets around to riding the things.
  • Huge Girl, Tiny Guy: Briefly served as the tiny guy to Kerry's huge girl in "Will's Dilemma". Will is on the short side in general, but looks downright puny when opposite Huge Schoolgirl Kerry. His uncomfortability with their height difference is one of the primary things that makes him want out of their relationship.
  • Implausible Deniability: Defied, after shitting himself in an exam he instead chooses to accept what happened instead of denying it or covering it up. Nobody will ever forget how he shat himself in front of the school and nobody will stop reminding him of it, so he just accepts his title as "the guy who shat himself in an exam".
  • Ignorance Is Bliss: After shitting himself during an exam, his inner monologue bittersweetly regards the experience as liberating because he's now free from peer pressure and social graces. Since people will never forget what he did, nor will he ever be able to top the moment he shat himself in an exam.
  • Jerkass Has a Point:
    • Will isn't actually wrong when he points out the Fashion Show is no more than a glorified popularity contest, though that doesn't stop him from throwing his objections out of the window when Charlotte asks him to take part with her.
    • Similarly, he's right to claim that he shouldn't be obligated to date Kerry simply because others want him to. Even after he learns that her dad recently died, he correctly asserts that him feeling sorry for her isn't any more of a reason for them to be in a relationship. He goes about saying all this in the worst, most inconsiderate way possible, but none of it is actually wrong.
    • In the first movie, he's technically correct when he says a girl in a wheelchair doesn't really need her own sun lounger, and that her family aren't automatically entitled to poolside seats just because she has a disability, but even Will himself obviously realises as he says so that you can't just say that out loud.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's often petty and shallow, and has a terrible temper, but he cares about his friends when push comes to shove and generally always tries to do the right thing, only for it to go horribly wrong.
  • Kavorka Man: While he's not unattractive, he's not handsome by any means, dresses like a ninny and acts as an awkward stick in the mud at all times. Despite this, several attractive girls have shown interest in him. Even though he can be witty and even charming at times, it's through these flaws (i.e his inexperience and occasional obsequiousness) that he ends up losing them.
  • Large Ham: At times he can get overdramatic whenever he goes into a massive rant. This happens at least Once an Episode.
  • Like Father, Like Son: The Movie reveals that hot women are attracted to Will's dad as well.
  • Likes Older Women: Though this is obviously downplayed compared to Neil, he has consistently shown interest in older women; Charlotte is in the year above him and his former babysitter Daisy is old enough to be in university while he's in high school.
  • Loony Friends Improve Your Personality: Although he is the most straight-laced of the four, he gradually shows that he is capable of having fun with them.
  • Momma's Boy: Oh yes. He even admits that after Charlotte dumps him, he's going home to cry to his mum.
  • Motor Mouth: When he goes off on a rant, his pattern of speech tends to speed up.
  • The Narrator: He narrates the series and the two movies, snarkily. Some of his best one-liners occur during the narrations.
  • Neat Freak: Problematic, since his other three friends are Guys Are Slobs.
  • Nerd: His general appearance (slight of build, sense of dress and glasses) and standing as The Smart Guy of the group paint him like this.
  • Nerds Are Virgins: He's quite awkward socially, especially with women, so he has yet to have sex. Then again, neither have Jay and Simon, at least before the first movie.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Noted in one of the TV specials; Will tends to be the moral compass of the group and rarely sets out to do anything bad. It's just that his attempts at doing the right thing generally backfire.
  • Non-Action Guy: He can't even drive.
  • Normal Fish in a Tiny Pond: His private school background and general fussiness cause him to seem quite bright when opposite the other three, but he proves to be just as much of an idiot as they are time and time again. In the series 3 finale, Simon actually calls him out on this; claiming that the only thing separating him from Jay and Neil is his posh accent.
  • Not So Above It All: While he generally attempts to behave more grounded and rationally minded than most of his friends and is clearly more responsible in the majority of situations, there are several incidents that prove he is effectively capable of the same level of thoughtlessness and ineptitude. Most evident when he's left home alone, he eventually joins in with the lads in destroying daffodils after a few cans.
  • No Social Skills: He can be awkward around people and is often tactless in situations where he should know when to stop. Highlights include trying to dump Kerry because he's not into her not knowing her father had recently died and insulting a group of kids with Down Syndrome.
  • Obsessed Are the Listmakers: He makes a study plan that takes several days to make.
  • Of Course I'm Not a Virgin: Blunders it with Charlotte, telling her that he slept with an 11-year-old when he was 13. She figures out that he's a virgin during his attempts to have sex with her and, thus, ruins his chances with her. Subverted in the first movie when he's honest with Alison about being a virgin. She doesn't think any less of him for it.
  • Once Done, Never Forgotten: shitting himself in an exam. A minor Running Gag in series 3 has new characters refer to the incident.
  • Only Sane Man: While not quite as normal as Simon is, he's easily the smartest and most responsible member of the group, and so often assumes this role; particularly whenever Simon becomes too obsessed with Carli to maintain it.
  • Parental Abandonment: His Dad ran off with a girl whom Will describes as having only left school four years earlier. Will doesn't even get invited to the wedding.
  • Professional Butt-Kisser: Will has a tendency to suck up to authority figures he's trying to impress, or Katie's friends in the second movie. People tend not to be endeared by his smarmy mannerisms, especially Mr. Gilbert.
  • Riches to Rags: Not exactly rags, but Will used to be rather well-off before his wealthy dad left the family. This hits him hard since he has to go to a public school and gets bullied by everyone for being too posh.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives a blistering one to Katie and Ben in the second movie.
  • Sanity Slippage: When it comes to exams, he gets himself so worked up that he resorts to subsisting on energy drinks, which has two major effects on him; A. He can't sleep and B. He ends up shitting himself during his final exam. When the whole ordeal is done and he completes his exam, he turns up to the pub in his school uniform, minus the trousers, instead wearing an old tracksuit pants from lost property and carrying his soiled clothes in a plastic bag. When the other lads ask him if he's gone mad, he replies that he quite possibly has.
  • Self-Deprecation: While he's generally very smug and self-righteous, his narration often includes barbs at his own expense. He describes his friend group collectively as "four idiots", meaning that he counts himself as one of them.
  • Shorter Means Smarter: He's the shortest of the four, and generally comes off as the smartest.
  • Silly Walk: Generally moves with what can only be described as a stiff waddle. He's apparenlty done it since he was little.
  • The Smart Guy: Played With in that while he's more sensible than the other three, he has a crippling lack of anything resembling street smarts.
  • Socially Awkward Hero: He could be interpreted as this as he has undertaken some misguided deeds that express his ultimate lack of understanding of certain societal norms. Such as:
    • Vocally complaining when a group of people were seated at the front of a ride he and his friends had specifically queued for, only to find out said people were obliged to take this space in the ride as they were disabled.
      • Somewhat justified, in that he had no knowledge of their disability, having never previously seen these people, and he also showed extreme remorse for these actions.
    • Impulsively placing a wig in his underwear during a date with an older woman, after a prank leads to his own pubic hair being removed, causing further embarrassment for him.
    • Attempting to amiably break off an effectively one-sided relationship with a girl he was never attracted to, only to create a scene during his friend's birthday party.
      • This was partly the girl's fault; she had manipulatively claimed that Will attempted to have sex with her, prior to breaking off the "relationship".
    • Becoming the subject of abuse after making several pretentious, patronising but ultimately not malicious claims towards a group of garage workers he would be employed by during his work experience.
    • Claiming to have engaged in several sexual encounters in order to secure his relationship with a slightly older, promiscuous girl, only to face more severe humiliation when his lack of sexual experience is evidenced.
    • Making wild claims of said girl's opinion of him and an extreme exaggeration of their "relationship" to avoid being further abused by the aforementioned group of mechanics.
  • Sophisticated as Hell: He has a more advanced vocabulary than pretty much anyone else in the show, but he's not above a Cluster F-Bomb when he gets angry.
  • Sucks at Dancing: As his performance in the fashion show and at the club in the movie can attest. He seems to think that galloping counts as a dance.
  • Suddenly Always Knew That: There's no hint of him having any musical inclination or ability until the second movie, where it's established he can play the guitar. He explains that he picked it up due to spending lots of time alone at uni, which, from what we see, is very believable.
  • Supporting Protagonist: Although he is the main character and narrator of the series, Simon receives more focus in terms of relationships (notably his obsession with Carli and his plot with Lucy) and the focus of the final episode of the TV series (where he's supposed to move away).
  • Surrounded by Idiots: He is academically more knowledgeable than his three friends and usually more grounded, uptight, and sensible than them (other than possibly Simon, as the voice of relative sanity alternates between the two characters depending on the situation). While he has his own moments of tactlessness, he is generally among the most rationally minded and logical of characters in the series.
  • Too Clever by Half: He tends to be tripped up by this trope. While not a genius, he probably is one of the smarter students at the school — and knows it. As such, he tends to approach everyone with a rather condescending air of superiority which never fails to get people's backs up, while at the same time not being quite as smart as he thinks, which usually leads to humiliation on his part.
    • This is also what appears to cause many of his problems with Mr. Gilbert, as Will's tendency to act cleverer and more mature than he is gets right up the teacher's nose. For example, it's hinted that Mr. Gilbert would actually have been quite willing to correct the error in work experience placements that saw Will sent to the garage had Will not pointed out the error in a rather snotty and high-handed manner. In this sense, much of Gilbert's jerkass nature towards Will can be seen as a rather disproportionate attempt to teach the boy some humility.
  • The Ugly Guy's Hot Daughter: Inverted. His mother is absolutely stunning while he, though not by any means ugly, is an awkward and painfully uncool geek.
  • Upperclass Twit: His posh background often causes him to speak to others with an air of smug condescension, while also making him clueless to certain things.
  • Uptight Loves Wild: In spite of his own awkwardness, he tends to go for women who are more confident and comfortable with their sexual experiences and are able to talk about the subject as such.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: He has a frosty relationship with his dad, and clearly seeks his approval in the few times where we see them interact.
  • Yes-Man: His default mode when in the presence of teachers, authority figures and pretty much anyone in power who may be able to help him is sniveling toadying.

     Simon Cooper 

Simon Cooper
Ooh friend!
Played by Joe Thomas
The Dogged Nice Guy. A lovelorn lad who has nursed a crush on his next-door neighbour Carli D'Amato for as long as he can remember. Simon dreams of sweeping Carli off her feet with a grand romantic gesture, but can barely keep himself from popping a stiffie just from being around her. In matters unrelated to girls, he is generally fairly sensible, which often forces him into the role of Will's confidant.

  • Adorkable: Put him around a girl he likes (or that he thinks likes him) and watch him humiliate himself.
  • Aesop Amnesia: In season one, he deduces that his infatuation with Carli is either misplaced or futile. By the start of season two, he falls for her again and it's only until the movie that he realises she's a manipulator who strings him along for her own gain.
  • The Alleged Car: His bright yellow Fiat Cinquecento Hawaii, which gets shitter and shitter just about every time it appears.
  • Anguished Declaration of Love: He tries to give one to Carli practically Once an Episode, but something always goes wrong.
  • Berserk Button: Much as he complains about it, he goes mental when Jay and Neil accidentally let his car crash into the river.
  • Be Careful What You Wish For: After spending literally the entire series chasing after Carli, in the second movie he has a girlfriend who is a total Yandere who ends up cheating on him.
  • Bratty Teenage Son: Probably the biggest offender of the four; if his parents so much as speak to him, chances are he'll go off on a tirade about how they've ruined his life. Granted, he also has Amazingly Embarrassing Parents, but he's still very rude and surly towards them, even if they're simply saying hello.
  • Butt-Monkey: Between his humiliations with Carli, having his balls out on stage and falling into some very cold water, he doesn't have the best of luck.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Most notably at the prom, when he has everything set up for a romantic declaration of love to Carli and he chokes. Fortunately, Neil manages to take the heat away from him.
  • Catchphrase:
    • He tends to let out an exaggerated "Hmm..." when perplexed.
    • He responds to most of Jay's crude jokes with a deadpan "brilliant", particularly when they're directed at him.
    • His usual response to his parents saying or doing anything is a loud "Fuck off!"
  • Character Tic:
    • When suspicious or confused he gives an exaggerated sideways glance, complete with raised eyebrow, and lets out a very loud "Hmm..."
    • His go-to move when seeing a girl he likes is to wave at them excitedly with a gormless grin on his face. If they deny him, he awkwardly tries to act as though he was doing something else.
  • Chick Magnet: Women actually tend to be interested in him fairly often, with a few even making advances toward him based on looks alone, but he's generally too hung up on Carli to get anywhere with any of them. Tellingly, of all the lads, he's the one who's been in the most genuine relationships.
  • Cool Loser: Zig-zagged. While Simon is quite good-looking, enough to draw the interest of girls fairly easily, his self-consciousness and tendency to act out irrationally when under pressure make him extremely awkward around them, to the point where his lack of popularity is very believable. This is highlighted in his appearance, where his overall attractiveness is mostly offset by his terrible hair and dorky facial expressions.
  • Covert Pervert: While his pervertedness is less pronounced than Jay and Neil's, Will describes him as having an "exotic" internet search history; enough to push his parents, who are infamous for their openness about sex, into putting a parental lock on his computer.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Not to the same degree as Will, but his Only Sane Man status makes him have his moments. Like Will, he especially loves saying "brilliant".
  • A Degree in Useless: The only subject that he's ever been confirmed onscreen to be taking, apart from a poor grasp of French, is Sociology, which has a long history of being derided as a useless subject. He carries onto university studying it and bemoans the fact that it's his only skill when the lads are lost in the desert in the second movie. His UCAS personal statement included in the yearbook implies that the only reason he chose it in the first place was so that he could be around a lot of girls.
  • Deuteragonist: After Will, he is the character with the most prominence. Even though Will is the main character, the series and movies deal with his romantic relationships the most.
  • Dogged Nice Guy: A truly abhorrent example. Simon is generally the most down-to-earth member of the main four, but all of that goes out the window as soon as Carli enters the picture. He will do the most degrading things imaginable so long as he thinks that it will give him even the faintest chance of winning her affection, and suffers constantly for it as a result.
  • The Driver: For the first two seasons he's the only one with a car, and so drives the rest of the lads everywhere. Granted, it's not a good car, but still.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: "Boner" for the entire first series.
  • Establishing Character Moment: His major one comes with the introduction of Carli; we see how nervous he is around her to the point where even her sniffing him gives him a Raging Stiffie.
  • The Everyman: If any of the four were to be described as a "typical" teenager, it would be him. While he isn't popular, he's also not quite as much of a hopeless sadcase as his buddies are most of the time, and his main flaws (awkwardness around the opposite sex, warped expectations of romance, and constant unwarranted agitation with his parents) are pretty much par for the course for a Hormone-Addled Teenager.
  • Extreme Doormat: He seems to be this to his Love Interests quite a lot- he only confronts Carli about her casually using him at the end of the first movie, is resigned to Lucy's crazy behaviour in the second and lets Tara dress him up "like an eccentric posh child", in Will's words.
  • Fatal Flaw: Simon really lets his heart overrule common sense, especially when it comes to Carli, but his relationships with Tara and Lucy also involve them walking all over him and his attempts to impress a girl he likes always tend to lead to his most embarrassing moments.
  • Flanderization: His Idiot Hair is fairly subtle in series 1, but becomes a completely ridiculous-looking rooster-like crest from series 2 onward.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: Melancholic/Phlegmatic.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Around his family, every single thing they say tends to be taken in the most insulting way possible, leading Simon to go on dramatic rants that they always laugh at.
  • Has a Type: All of his major Love Interests are patient Girl Next Door types. In fact, both his relationship with Carli and his relationship with Lucy start to show cracks as soon as it becomes clear that they aren't entirely either of those things.
  • Henpecked Husband: A non-married example. Whenever he has a girlfriend, he tends to let them walk all over him and take total control over his life.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • "Will's Home Alone" reveals him to be good enough at golf to make it to the championship round of a father-son tournament.
    • His CV (released to promote the second movie) reveals that he got an A in his math A-levels, implying that it's his best subject. Not once in either the series or movies is this ever suggested.
    • If his ringtone is anything to go off of, he's a Leona Lewis fan.
  • Hopeless Suitor: To absurd levels with Carli. He's pined for her since he was eight years old and doesn't get anywhere with her until the end of series 2, and even then, she doesn't really care about him.
  • Hypocritical Heartwarming: As stand-offish as he is toward his parents, he gets defensive whenever anyone mocks them.
  • Idiot Ball: You would have thought that by now he would have learned to never listen to Jay about sexual advice, but he does just that when feeling nervous about having sex with his girlfriend. Of course, it blows up in his face.
  • Idiot Hair: Always has his hair gelled to leave a few of these sticking up. He thinks it makes him look cool (apparently Carli complimented it once), but the few times it's acknowledged in-universe it always gets made fun of.
  • Informed Deformity: Is occasionally mentioned to have spotty skin, but is barely actually shown to have any spots at all, even during all the occasions when he's seen naked. Considering that the only characters who bring this up are Jay and Simon himself, though, it's possible that he's simply being self-conscious about nothing.
  • In-Series Nickname: Friends and family often call him Si (pronounced like 'sigh').
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's a Spoiled Brat toward his parents, often inconsiderate toward girls, and constantly joins in on shit-talking his buddies, but he's a decent guy at heart who pulls through for his friends when it counts.
  • The Lancer: Will generally treats him as his go-to guy for helping him out in a jam, though Simon is often too wrapped up in his own troubles to be of much use.
  • Love Makes You Dumb: His feelings for Carli have resulted in acting in such foolish ways as vandalising her driveway, getting so drunk to build up Dutch Courage to tell her how he feels and ending up puking on her little brother, swapping shoes with a homeless person to get into a nightclub and dressing up in a speedo for a fashion show at her request.
  • Love Martyr: Is willing to ruin his own life if it means making Carli love him.
  • Loving a Shadow: He's so wrapped up in the idea of having a Childhood Friend Romance with Carli that he completely overlooks the numerous signs that she is actually a burgeoning Alpha Bitch with no interest in him.
  • Mistaken for Pedophile: A Running Gag is that he constantly finds himself in situations that get him accused of being a paedo.
  • Naked People Are Funny: While all the lads fall victim to this at some point, it's a recurring theme with Simon. He ends up naked at least Once a Season. It gets Lampshaded in the movie:
    Alison: Does he always strip when he's happy?
    Will: Pretty much, yeah.
  • Non-P.O.V. Protagonist: Arguably; while Will is The Narrator, Simon's romantic endeavors generally take precedence over his when it comes to the plot. Simon also fulfills the standard "relatable everyman protagonist" niche much better than Will does.
  • Not So Above It All: Along with his ridiculous behaviour around Carli, Simon acts like a complete asshole to both of his parents at all times despite the two of them easily being the most normal parents on the show.
  • Not So Different: One of the reasons why Simon and Will gradually become friends. After seeing him similarly humiliated by his classmates with an embarrassing nickname, he opts to offer his seat in class as a gesture of friendliness.
  • Only Sane Man: Lacks Jay and Neil's idiocy and Will's uncontrollable temper and uptightness, making him the least eccentric one of the four most of the time. With that said, he's very easily swayed by peer pressure (particularly from Jay), and often becomes the least rational of the group whenever Carli is involved.
  • Open Mouth, Insert Foot: Seemingly can't make it through a conversation with a pretty girl without saying something that makes him look like an idiot.
  • Ordinary High-School Student: Beyond his single-minded fixation on Carli, which even then isn't all that unusual for a teenage boy, he is by far the most normal of the four.
  • Raging Stiffie: Gets one in the very first episode when Carli leans into him, leading to the Embarrassing Nickname of "Boner" throughout series one.
  • "The Reason You Suck" Speech: Gives Will, Neil and Jay one in the final episode after they let his car crash into the river. He also gives one to his own penis when it fails to perform after a "tactical wank".
  • Running Gag: If one of the lads ends up with a Wardrobe Malfunction or naked, it's probably going to be Simon.
  • Serial Romeo: Even when the object of his affections isn't Carli, he places much more focus on performing sweeping romantic gestures than actually being attentive to his partner's needs.
  • Single-Target Sexuality: Manages to move past Carli by the first movie, but it takes a loooong time.
  • Spoiled Brat: He's the only one of the gang whose family isn't broken or dysfunctional, yet he constantly snarls at them like they're ruining his life. Whenever he reaches a Rage Breaking Point, it appears to be less a teenager losing his temper and more a child throwing a tantrum; best seen when he absolutely loses it at a lunch lady of all people for being slow in handing him change. He also generally puts himself before others unless directly called out on it.
  • Sucks at Dancing: On the occasions where we see him dance, he's incredibly stiff, awkward and self-conscious.
  • Super Gullible: He's often so anxious about sex and girls that he takes advice on them from Jay, despite knowing him to be full of shit. If he hadn't gone for that "Tactical Wank", he'd have actually had sex with Tara.
  • Thinks Like a Romance Novel: Simon seems convinced that love must always be expressed in a spontaneous and dramatic fashion, which often causes him to publicly humiliate himself while attempting to be romantic.
  • Tsundere: A platonic example towards his parents. He's basically never not irrationally angry at them, but always gets defensive when his friends insult his mum, becomes unconsciously concerned when their marriage appears to be on the rocks, and gets very invested in a father-son golf tournament when he realizes how much it means to his dad.
  • Ungrateful Bastard: The first thing he does upon seeing the car his parents got him for passing his driver's test is complain about how shit-looking it is. Granted, the car is shit-looking, but it's also a car of his own (compared to Jay, who has to drive around his mum's) that he didn't have to spend a thing himself to get. In the movie, the only message he sends to his parents at any point during his holiday is "dad send more money".
  • Unlucky Childhood Friend: Can't seem to get it through his head that Carli isn't interested in him.
  • Unreliable Narrator: In the yearbook, he recalls the Bus Wanker incident as him being dragged out of the car and mugged by twenty massive blokes.
  • Wrong Genre Savvy: When it comes to Carli, he seems to believe that he's The Protagonist of a romcom instead of The Lancer in a Sadist Show.

     Jay Cartwright 

Jay Cartwright
She'd definitely get it. Right up the bum hole!
Played by James Buckley
The Casanova Wannabe. A fast-talking pervert and compulsive liar with a knack for telling tall tales. Jay fancies himself to be quite the player, and has a story for just about every sexual exploit you can think of; not one of them being even remotely true. His friends are aware of his reputation for bullshitting, but are often so hopeless with the opposite sex that they take his advice at face value anyway, which inevitably ends up backfiring on them.

  • Abusive Parents: His Dad belittles him in almost every conversation he has in the series and his mother just sits there and lets him.
  • Attention Whore: He admits to Big John that he makes up lies so people will notice him.
  • All Men Are Perverts: He will make lewd comments about every woman going and sometimes, depending on how much he's drunk, make unwanted sexual advances. However, this trope is subverted whenever he meets a girl he actually cares about.
  • Animal Lover: Though it's generally buried under his attempts at seeming cool and tough, Jay is shown to have a soft spot for animals, and is genuinely remorseful when he accidentally gets his dog put down and when he runs over a squirrel.
  • Bad Liar: Mostly because his lies are hilariously ridiculous. It's especially noteworthy considering Neil is often the one to point out the holes in his stories.
    • Simon calling him out on being afraid of his dad in the movie makes Jay attempt to punch him.
    • Disrespecting a girl he fancies seems to be one for him- he gets quite angry at the end of the first movie and during the second when people make fun of Jane's weight. He also gets mad with Neil when he makes lewd comments about Chloe.
  • Big Guy, Little Guy: The scheming, loud-mouthed little guy to Neil's dopey big guy.
  • Blatant Lies: Just about everything he says.
  • The Blind Leading the Blind: The other three often go to him for romantic and sexual device, despite him being arguably even more clueless than they are.
  • Big Brother Instinct: He gets unusually annoyed when Will makes a joke about his sister and demands Will takes it back. Will does, then switches to a Your Mom joke. Jay ignores it.
  • Catchphrase:
    • "Fuck that", although this mostly applies to the movie.
    • "Morning, benders", to the point that it appears as a track on the soundtrack album.
    • "Alright, gays", which essentially acts as an alternative to the above when the scene doesn't take place during the day.
  • Casanova Wannabe: Claims to have had sex with everything going. It's pretty obvious that he's still a virgin. This is played with somewhat, as while Jay constantly brags about his sexual exploits to other guys, he almost never even so much as attempts to speak to any girls, let alone hit on them. On the very few occasions where he does, he is shown to be much more quiet, reserved and awkward than he normally is. He finally manages to get laid for real at the end of the first movie.
  • Character Development: Gets the most out of the four main characters. He's an outright Jerk with a Heart of Jerk in the first season, but by the end of the third season and into the movies he's still a cocky, annoying little shit, but much warmer and willing to go above and beyond for his friends.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: Surprisingly, but when he actually does get a girlfriend in-series, he's actually quite respectful towards her. He also becomes this in the movie with Jane.
  • Determinator: In the second movie, he goes to Australia, where he has to work in a toilet and sleep in a tent, to try and win Jane back.
  • Dirty Coward: Often; he immediately tells Donovan that Will is upstairs with Charlotte, mocks Simon after some guys threaten to beat him up over something Jay did, ditches his friends when some chav pre-teen girls get their brother to chase them with a cricket bat...
  • Don't Explain the Joke: Often pauses after making a Double Entendre and adds a filthier line, generally ruining it. Will lampshades it during "A Night Out In London."
    Neil: She touched her hair. In body language-speak, that means she likes you.
    Jay: Well in London, there'll be plenty of girls touching their hair around me.
    Will: Their pubic hair, presumably.
    Jay: No, their actual.......long.......yeah, their pubic hair.
  • Drives Like Crazy: In contrast to Simon, who drives like an old woman, Jay is extremely reckless behind the wheel of his mother's car.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He seems genuinely ashamed of himself as soon as he finds out that he had unknowingly been masturbating in front of an old lady.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine/Choleric.
  • Freudian Excuse: The way his Dad treats him explains a lot of Jay's behaviour.
    • He is implied to have been sexually abused by his neighbour as a child.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Sexually Active Today?: Constantly talks of his conquests to the lads.
  • Heroes Love Dogs: While annoyed by his dog, Benji, vying for his attention while attempting to masturbate, he genuinely loves the dog. This is solidified by his reaction to his lie about Benji shitting in the house having got his dad to put Benji down being shock and heartbreak. Even in the last episode, he elects to use the dog Monopoly piece, as it reminds him of Benji.
  • Hidden Depths: When he actually does have a girlfriend, he's a pretty attentive and caring boyfriend. He's also a pretty good DJ and can be very kind to others when given the chance.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Apparently the reason Jane dumped him was because he bought her a Wii-fit after she told him that she was trying to lose weight.
  • It Amused Me: After Simon comes out from the toilet at Louise Graham's party, he pretends that Simon has made a mess of the facilities in front of Carli. When Simon calls him out and asked why he did it, Jay responds that it was funny.
  • Jerkass: He is the most openly mean of the four. At the start of the series, he is the one who gets along least with Will due his constant lying and abrasive personality.
  • Jerk Ass Has A Point: Despite his jerkassery and constant lying, some of his points make sense to the point where even Will agrees with him.
    • It's implied that he doesn't think Simon and Carli are a good fit and wants him to broaden his romantic horizons. Considering how Carli often strings Simon along when it's convenient, it holds some merit.
    • Tells John to shut up during the prom planning session after hearing him ask about food one too many times (as Will had even told him repeatedly that he would get to that on the agenda).
    • He considers Alistair an asshole despite everyone else giving him sympathy due to his wheelchair-bound state. Will quickly discovers that Jay is right.
    • He's not wrong when he points out Gilbert giving him and Neil a month's detention for saying "Waterside" is a completely ridiculous and unfair punishment.
    • He points out more than once that Will often doesn't go along with their antics not because he has the moral highground, but because he's scared to.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Especially in the movies. In the series, while he is shown to have some (rather well-hidden) redeeming traits, he is more often portrayed as a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk. But that may be due to the cynical nature of the series, while the movies, comparatively, have more heart-warming and Throw the Dog a Bone moments.
  • Karma Houdini: He often manages to escape punishment or embarrassment due to being a Dirty Coward. He also repeatedly humiliates Simon and Will without any comeuppance.
    • In the very last episode, it is entirely his fault that Simon's car falls into the lake.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Most of his "expertise" tends to be about sex, but will occasionally be about another topic that's relevant to the plot.
  • Large Ham: Can slip into this at times, especially when his Berserk Button is pushed.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: When he finally gets himself a girlfriend, what happens? He goes to his dad for help, who ends up giving him really bad advice for keeping her interested in him and it ends up driving her away. It'd be easy to feel sorry for him in the moment until you realize it's exactly what he's been doing to his friends the whole time; giving them bad advice on getting girls that will blow up in their faces. Now it's gone and happened to him and, let's be honest, it couldn't have happened to a more deserving person.
  • The Load: On the occasions where he doesn't just abandon the others outright to save his own skin, he regularly proves himself to be a hindrance through a combination of his carelessness, idiocy, and general incompetence.
  • Men Don't Cry: Averted- Jay ends up crying after his first serious girlfriend dumps him. It actually makes you feel sorry for him.
  • Miles Gloriosus: One of his many Blatant Lies is that he once spent the summer at a Thai boxing training camp and knocked out so many Thai fighters that they had to bring in fighters from Cambodia. Of course, it's obvious that he has no experience.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: This happens to Jay when his lie ends up getting his dog put down.
    • Also happens when he runs over a squirrel.
      Jay: "...Its eyes look sad."
  • Never My Fault: He rarely ever takes responsibility for the problems he causes on the show, whether it be giving poor romantic advice, humiliating his friends, or getting them into trouble.
  • The Nicknamer: Almost never calls Will by name in the first two series, but instead some variation of "briefcase". In the third series, when Will becomes more known for shitting himself at an exam than carrying around a briefcase, Jay starts calling him by name, though still lets slip a briefcase insult/joke once in a while.
  • No Social Skills: Along with being a tactless asshole and pathological liar, on the few occasions where he is actually shown interacting with a girl as opposed to simply bragging about his success with them, he loses nearly all of his usual boisterousness and becomes quiet and awkward.
  • The Obi-Wannabe: When it comes to love advice.
  • Of Course I'm Not a Virgin: Constantly brags that he's shagged every woman he's ever come across, sometimes several at a time. Taken Up to Eleven in the second movie when he claims to have had a three way with the Minogue sisters ten minutes after arriving in Australia. His Establishing Character Moment even has him bragging that he's really good at shagging only to trip up on a question Neil asks.
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business:
    • You know Jay is upset about his dog being put down when he declares he'll never wank again.
    • He's also consistently shown to be the most vocally opposed of the boys to Simon's crush on Carli, and always attempts to dissuade him from fixating on her as much as he does. For a guy as horny and delusional as he is, it's telling that even he thinks that Simon is wasting his time.
  • Pet the Dog: Genuinely sets Simon up with a girl at the caravan club; granted, things inevitably backfire, but it's more out of Jay's own ignorance rather than him openly bullshitting or throwing someone else under the bus as it is 99% of the time.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man:
    • Jay thinks he's the Manly Man to the others' Sensitive Guys, and tries to act the part, pretending to a cool, streetwise, tough, sexually active ladies man. He's actually not this at all, and is in fact the most emotional and sensitive one of the bunch.
    • He provides a more conventional example with his dad. Jay's dad is a dirty, gross, trash-talking man's man who frequently makes fun of his son and accuses him of being too sensitive, and Jay drops his usual bravado for timid diffidence when around him.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Probably has the filthiest mouth out of the lads, although they have their moments too.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Is absolutely convinced that he is going to be asked to model at the fashion show and is irate when Simon announces that Carli has asked him to do it. Jay goes to Carli, asking if he can model and convinces himself that he's first reserve when she turns him down. To add further insult to injury, Will gets roped into modelling with Charlotte, which causes Jay to snap.
  • Sticky Fingers: "I nicked it out of Sadie Cunningham's bag during registration" appears quite a few times in the show.
  • Sucks at Dancing: While we don't see him dance as often as the other three, the movie shows that his moves are about on par with Simon and Will's in terms of awfulness.
  • Super Gullible: In addition to spouting Blatant Lies, Jay is more than willing to believe them as well. This includes the rumour that a sexy housewife in Swanage is willing to have sex with schoolboys and when the trio of drunk students tell him about Dutch student Heike wanting to have sex with younger guys.
  • Teeny Weenie: Apparently his penis is even smaller than a McDonald's chip. We actually get to see it for a split second when he gets pantsed in the movie, and it proves to be so small that even a little boy mocks him for it.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Evil is a strong word, but most of the time, Jay isn't actually nicer than school bully Donovan - the main difference simply is that Jay is too big of a coward to use violence. His jerkassery is played more for laughs than Donovan's, though, but except for his very few Pet the Dog moments, he only seems to be part of the group by virtue of having known Simon since early childhood and being admired by Neil who is stupid enough to believe in his lies.
    • There's also the fact the lads are clearly aware of Jay's Freudian Excuse - Simon even accuses Jay of being scared of his Dad in the movie. Donovan on the other hand mostly seems to act like a dick For the Lulz.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Gets a BJ from Jane and gives James a 20 pound note that was stuck up his bum. James then proceeds to do a line of coke with it, resulting in a single dingleberry stuck on the tip of his nose.
  • Urban Legend Love Life: If we were to take him at his word, he has threesomes with foreign supermodels on a daily basis, and has since he was nine. If we go off of his actual interactions with the opposite sex throughout the series, though, he's clearly a virgin. In fact, he rather distinctly has the worst track record of the main four when it comes to romance.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: Jay has this relationship with the other three, especially with Will: Jay is most antagonistic towards Will at first whereas Will constantly calls out his bullshit. Despite this, they do try to comfort each other in serious moments.
  • What You Are in the Dark: When he talks alone with Big John in the sixth episode, he shows a surprisingly nice side of himself and even seems to find John sympathetic. However, when others are around, he doesn't miss one chance to gravely insult John, especially about his weight - because the general consensus is that John is a loser.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: A lot of his lies are to impress his Dad, but his Dad is Genre Savvy enough that he doesn't fall for it. Unfortunately, he then tends to respond to Jay's attention-seeking by belittling him. This seems to create a Vicious Cycle - Jay tells more lies to impress his hard-to-please Dad, who as a result tries harder to puncture his son's inflated ego. It's not known whether the chicken or the egg came first.

     Neil Sutherland 

Neil Sutherland
How much Lego can you stuff up your bum?
Played by Blake Harrison
The Ditz. A Nice Guy without much going on upstairs and a bit too much going on downstairs. Neil generally just goes with the flow and follows the others' leads, but often creates trouble for them through his idiocy. While he takes Jay at his word regarding his success with women, he actually has the most sexual experience of the group, much to his friends' frequent frustration.

  • Always Someone Better: In terms of sexual opportunities, he's this to Will. A Running Gag is that many of the girls Will fails with end up going to Neil instead.
  • Anything That Moves: He's not fussy about who he winds up with, which is probably why he's the first of the lads to lose his virginity.
  • Big Eater: Leave him alone with food and he will eat it.
  • The Big Guy: He's taller than the others at 6'1 1/2" and is generally called upon when muscle is needed.
  • Big Guy, Little Guy: The dim-witted, subservient big guy to Jay's fast-talking little guy.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: It's hard to tell if he's this or simply so dumb he does mean things by mistake, but he's pulled some very dick moves over the course of the series.
  • Book Dumb: Subverted. He tries to make a case for himself having street smarts in the final episode, but Simon immediately makes a very good point to prove that he doesn't.
    Neil: You lot think I'm dumb but I've got street smarts!
    Simon: You got a woman from Asda pregnant in your lunch hour.
  • Captain Oblivious: He completely misses the signs that Paedo Kennedy is constantly attempting to sexually assault him. Even when Gilbert pulls Kennedy away, he doesn't seem phased.
  • Catchphrase: He adopted saying "No problemo" in a shit Spanish accent for one episode, but dropped it afterwards.
    • He tends to say "behave" when the others say something that annoys him.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Particularly when he goes on about how many things are drugs, starting with relatively sane things such as cigarettes and alcohol and moving on to stuff like trainers and clingfilm.
  • Comically Missing the Point: All the time, especially when he fails a spot check regarding Mr. 'Paedo' Kennedy's advances.
  • Dancing with Myself: Does this at a many times. Will admits that he's actually quite good.
  • The Ditz: He's practically terminally dim. Academically stupid and lacking common sense, most of the gags involve him not having even the most basic knowledge at hand. His only two examinable subjects are Tech & Design and PE.
  • Embarrassing Middle Name: Lyndsey.
  • Feigning Intelligence: The other lads are bewildered to find him attempting to read a book. When going on a Blind Date show for charity, he believes it will improve his chances if he seems more intelligent. When Will points out that it will make him still seem stupid, he still doesn't get it. During the show itself, he picks the girl who answers his questions with the most intelligent answers, he winds up with Suzie, a twelve-year-old child prodigy who is taking her A-Levels four years early. He is a representative of that stupid guy you probably knew in school.
  • The Fool: A classic example. He's dumb as a stump but also the most upbeat and extroverted of his friend group; his tendency to leap into situations without thinking much (or at all) about them often works out relatively well in his favor, and he never lets it get to him for very long when it doesn't.
  • Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: Foolish to Katie's Responsible. Not that being more responsible than Neil is hard.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: Phlegmatic/Sanguine.
  • Gasshole: Of all the characters, he tends to fart the most. The second film establishes that he has Irritable Bowel Syndrome.
  • Genius Ditz: Surprisingly, he can be insightful at times. When it comes to Jay's Blatant Lies, he's usually the one who points out the flaws in Jay's stories, often by remembering a previous story that contradicts the current one.
  • Going Commando: Under his monkey costume at Thorpe Park, much to the disgust of the others. Neil counters that the monkey isn't naked- "he has a vest on!"
    • In the second movie, when dressed for a fancy dress part as Hermione Granger, he doesn't wear underwear either.
  • Has a Type: While he isn't picky, he seems to have a particular thing for older ladies, and is the most serious of the group about his lust for Will's mum.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • He's usually the first one who points out the flaws in Jay's Blatant Lies. He's also a very good dancer and, as shown in the yearbook, artist.
    • He did very well at the newspaper, too. And in the second movie, he's working in a bank, where he keeps earning bonuses and is apparently the cleverest non-agent there.
    • During his, Will and Jay's stint working at a retirement home, he's shown to be the most diligent worker of the three and to get along very well with the elderly.
    • He's shown working the most jobs out of the boys; in addition to the ones listed above, he's been a walkaround mascot at Thorpe Park and a deli worker at Asda. Since money is noted to be tight in his family, it can be assumed he works part-time to help support his dad.
  • Hot for Teacher: Has a crush on Miss Timms and makes a move on her at the end of the first series.
  • Idiot Houdini: While he doesn't avoid public embarassment quite as often as Jay does, he still almost always suffers significantly less than either Will or Simon do.
  • Ignorance Is Bliss: Of the four main characters, he's the least intelligent, but also the happiest in general. In the first movie, he tells Will that once he stopped believing in God, he became much happier when he stopped worrying about things by thinking about them. Will admits he's right.
  • Impossibly Tacky Clothes: His prom attire; which consisted of a midnight blue sequined jumpsuit with a neckline plunging down to his crotch and an enormous flaired collar along with a pair of Cuban heels. He wanted something that would stand out, but went a little too far.
  • Kavorka Man: Not that he's "ugly", just very stupid and lacking in hygiene. Nonetheless, he does quite well for himself with the ladies; at least in comparison to the other four.
  • Like Father, Unlike Son: Neil's dad is an effeminate, refined and soft-spoken fellow while his son is a boisterous doofus with typical loutish interests. Both are consistently shown to be rather Nice Guys, though.
  • Likes Older Women: Not only Miss Timms but also the older women around Malia in The Movie. He hooks up with an older housewife in the second movie too.
  • Lust Object: Paedo Kennedy seems to have a particular fixation on him.
  • Missing Mom: His parents are divorced and his dad seems to have custody over their children. He's still in contact with his mum, but she never appears on screen and the other lads occasionally mockingly claim that she "ran off" from the family.
  • My Sister Is Off-Limits!: Gets uncharacteristically perturbed when his friends lust after his older sister, though he mostly restricts his protests to an annoyed "Behave."
  • Nice Guy: Neil can be annoying due to his stupidity, but he has almost no actual Jerkass moments compared to the other lads. He is also generally polite and is quick to comfort his friends in the "arm around the shoulder and kind words" way that the others would probably deem as too "bent" or girly. Notably, when Will is forced to date Kerry, he is the only one of the group who doesn't mock or act appalled by her height (though he laughs along when the others do), and even states that he doesn't see much of a problem with her being "just a bit big." Although hooking up with a new girl in the movie and cheating on his current girlfriend with a transparent excuse, ignoring her when she was waiting for him at the airport when returning from Greece in the first movie is a definite contradiction.
  • Not So Different: As the only other child of divorce in the group, he and Will are occasionally able to find common ground with each other at unexpected times.
  • The Pig-Pen: He has some rather gross habits showcased in the series. In one episode, it's revealed that he "spunked" in Simon's car, whereas another features him peeing on Will.
  • Plucky Comic Relief: While Will, Simon, and even Jay have occasional moments of drama or Character Development, Neil never does much more besides be a goofy idiot. It's common for him to not even have a plot of his own in an episode and to merely follow along with Jay instead.
  • Sarcasm-Blind: Being The Ditz means he's generally unable to grasp the concept of Will's wit.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Manly Man to his dad's Sensitive Guy. Neil's a big dopey lug obsessed with girls, football and video games while his dad's a tightly-wound Ambiguously Gay badminton enthusiast.
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: He's a friendly and enthusiastic idiot while his older sister is an aloof Deadpan Snarker.
  • Spell My Name with an "S": Alternates between spelling his name as "Neil" and "Niel" throughout the yearbook, presumably because he's too stupid to know how to properly spell it consistently.
  • Super Gullible: Zig-zagged. He's susceptible to a lot of Jay's Blatant Lies, such as being able to get away with smashing up plates in the school common room in the series 3 prologue, but if Jay tells a lie that contradicts a previous lie, Neil will call him out on it.
  • Stupid Good: The dumbest of the four is also the most consistently nice.
  • Token Good Teammate: A mild example. While none of the other three are evil by any means, they're all rather shallow assholes who often callously put their own needs above others. In comparison, Neil generally comes across as well-meaning and at worst Innocently Insensitive. His rather despicable actions in The Movie call his position as this into question, however.


The Lads' Families

     Polly McKenzie 

Polly McKenzie
Is that your mum? She's fit!
Played by Belinda Stewart-Wilson

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents:
    • Will is embarrassed by some of the things she does, such as buying him a vest for his birthday or letting slip about his childhood habits and ailments.
    • In the first episode, it's revealed she told the school that Will was bullied, giving him no small amount of embarrassment and actually contributing to his ostracization even though the reason he changed schools was actually because of school fees since they couldn't afford to keep sending Will there after the divorce.
  • Ambiguous Situation: In "Caravan Club" Jay finds a magazine with a centerfold model who looks startingly like her, so much so that even Will finds the resemblance uncanny. We never get any confirmation on whether it actually was her or not.
  • Brainless Beauty: As of the second movie. While she's always had a certain cluelessness she has clearly taken a Level In Dumbass, accidentally flashing everyone her cleavage while trying to adjust her webcam amongst other things.
  • Brutal Honesty: She has a tendency to be somewhat tactless, like when she tells Will to stay away from good-looking girls and to let the good-looking boys go for them instead.
  • Buxom Is Better: Her enormous breasts are a source of lust for Simon, Jay and Neil, much to Will's chagrin.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Like her son, she has her moments. In many cases, she has no tact with her snarky comments.
  • Dude Magnet: Apart from her son, every male character she interacts with ends up falling for her instantly.
  • Flanderization: She's out of touch and lacking in tact in the series, but is otherwise shown to share her wit and intelligence with her son. The movies exaggerate this to a point where it's hard to call her anything other than a Brainless Beauty.
  • Genre Savvy: Knows perfectly well the text she got from Will's phone sent by Neil wasn't written by Will, so she simply tells him she's happy he got there safely.
  • Glamorous Single Mother: She's a beautiful divorcee who, other than not being able to afford to keep her son in private schooling, doesn't appear to be having too hard of a time financially; particularly since we never actually ever see her working.
  • Guess Who I'm Marrying?: Gets engaged to Mr. Gilbert by the end of the second movie.
  • Head-Turning Beauty: Every character who's met her, particularly at the school, comments on her general physical attractiveness. This has spilt over into the fandom as well.
  • Hopeless with Tech: Implied initially by the lads since Will can beat her at the Wii. In the second movie, she's unable to use Skype properly despite Will having instructed her several times.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Occasionally offers Will advice or encouragement that carries the underlying suggestion that even she considers him to be a boring, unattractive killjoy.
  • Lust Object: Jay, Simon, and especially Neil all want her, and characters like Mr. Gilbert and Mark Donovan express similar interest in her.
  • My Beloved Smother: She worries about Will a little too much at times to embarrassing levels.
  • Nice Girl: Generally shown to be a kind, loving woman; especially toward her son.
  • Parents as People: She can be a bit clueless and tactless towards Will, but she does genuinely love and care for him.
  • Parent with New Paramour: One episode focuses on her developing a relationship with an old college friend, much to Will's annoyance. The end of the second movie reveals that she's gotten engaged to Mr. Gilbert.
  • Running Gag: Whenever Will goes anywhere with his mates, she goes off to get him a jumper.
  • Stacy's Mom: Everybody, from the school psycho to the head of sixth form, has a thing for her. The lads always make comments about her, much to Will's chagrin.
  • That Came Out Wrong: Her attempts to comfort Will usually have her accidentally insulting him, but she does try.
  • What, Exactly, Is His Job?: It's unclear if she even has one or if she simply lives off of money sent by her ex-husband.

     Kevin Sutherland 

Kevin Sutherland

Played by Alex McQueen

  • All Gays Are Pedophiles: Jay and Simon's mockery of his Ambiguously Gay personality occasionally dips into suggesting that he's a paedophile.
  • Ambiguously Gay: Though he strenuously denies it.
  • Catchphrase: "Neil...", usually said in tones of great exasperation.
  • Extreme Doormat: While he does have a boiling point, and kicks Neil's friends out of his house when a drunk Will viciously mocks him, he generally lets his son do whatever he wants due to lacking the backbone to tell him otherwise.
  • Fan Disservice: He's a chubby middle-aged guy who is often shown in very small and tight-fitting shorts.
  • Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: Denies being gay, mentioning that he was married.
  • Hopeless Suitor: The yearbook implies that (like everyone else) he has a thing for Will's mum, who (like everyone else) thinks he's gay.
  • Innocent Innuendo: A sizable chunk of what he says could easily be taken as a reference to male-on-male sex out of context.
  • Like Father, Unlike Son: He's fussy and effeminate while his son is an idiot and The Pig-Pen. Both are generally shown to be Nice Guys, though. His daughter is also shown to be an aloof Deadpan Snarker; contrasting him in a completely different way than Neil does.
  • Nice Guy: He's generally soft-spoken and polite to everyone.
  • No Respect Guy: Neil's friends constantly mock him behind his back (and occasionally to his face), the other parents admit to also believing him to be a closeted gay man in spite of his protestations, and Neil himself generally makes life harder for him by being a careless idiot. At the end of each movie Neil barely acknowledges him at all after coming home from holiday, whereas the other three all at least greet their parents.
  • Perpetual Poverty: His lack of money as a result of having to pay alimony to his ex-wife tends to be a secondary target of mockery from Neil's friends after his sexuality.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Sensitive Guy to Neil's Manly Man. He's an effete and fussy fellow while his son's a lout in every sense of the word.
  • Who Wears Short Shorts?: He tends to wear tight shorts around the place, mostly for the purposes of playing badminton.

     Alan Cooper 

Alan Cooper

Played by Martin Trenaman

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: He will not shut up about his sex life.
  • Chivalrous Pervert: He has a very strong libido, but reserves it exclusively for his wife. It actually leads to some brief relationship trouble for them when she starts to get fed up with his sex drive.
  • The Comically Serious: Or The Cringe Comically Serious if you want. Whenever he goes into unnecessary details about his sex life, he often has a completely deadpan face as if he thinks mentioning his sex life is just like discussing politics. This tends to embarrass Simon even more.
  • Generation Xerox: When Simon confesses to him about his feelings for Carli, he tells Simon that he had a similar situation with unrequited love. Of course, he then goes on about Simon's mother's sex drive, causing Simon to be sick.
  • Good Parents: He's shown to be a reasonable dad who's willing to give his son his own space, offer him sensible advice, and make genuine attempts at connecting with him man-to-man. Unfortunately, the combination of his loose lips regarding his sex life and Simon's status as a moody teen cause Simon to brand him as little more than an annoyance more often than not.
  • Good People Have Good Sex: He and his wife are the most stable and sensible parents we see, and apparently have a very active and enjoyable sex life even into their middle age.
  • Happily Married: Apart from a single falling out that is resolved in the same episode it's introduced in, he and his wife seem to have a very loving relationship.
  • Nice Guy: A pretty mellow Dad, especially compared to Terry Cartwright.
  • No Respect Guy: If he says anything to Simon, even when it doesn't involve his sex life, expect Simon to blow up at him for it as though he said the most heinous thing in the world.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: He waits to hear Simon's side of the story when Simon accidentally climbs into Carli's little brother's room and professes love to him.
  • Series Continuity Error: The tie-in yearbook includes letters from him to Mr. Gilbert during the period when he and his wife were separated. In them, he claims that their falling out was due to him being unable to keep up with her sexually, whereas in the episode where the event actually happened it was the other way around.
  • Too Much Information: He has a bad habit of delving into too much detail about his sex life when speaking to his son.

     Pamela Cooper 

Pamela Cooper

Played by Robin Weaver

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Not to the same extent as her husband, but she can be intrusive at times and has seemingly no problem with her husband going into detail about their sex life.
  • Closer to Earth: Overall seems slightly less tactless than Alan. Her sex drive is seemingly also not quite as outrageous as his is.
  • Covert Pervert: She's more tight-lipped about her sex life than her husband is, but, going off of his statements, has nearly as much of a libido as he does.
  • Fetish: Simon's dad lets it slip in the movie that she's aroused by the smell of sunscreen.
  • Good Parents: On the whole, she's probably the most normal, stable and responsible adult on the show, though Simon is hardly appreciative.
  • Good People Have Good Sex: She and her husband are the most stable and sensible parents we see, and apparently have a very active and enjoyable sex life even into their middle age.
  • Happily Married: Apart from a single falling out that is resolved in the same episode it's introduced in, she and her husband seem to have a very loving relationship.
  • Informed Ability: She's apparently wild in the sack if Simon's dad is anyone to go off of, but we (thankfully) never get any real evidence.
  • Informed Deformity: Jay and Neil constantly mock her appearance when, while not a knock-out like Will's mum, she's a perfectly ordinary-looking middle-aged woman.
  • Nice Girl: Generally comes off as a friendly, even-tempered woman.
  • No Respect Guy: Simon is enraged by practically everything she does while Jay and Neil constantly make derogatory remarks about her behind her back.
  • Satellite Character: Doesn't receive as distinct of a characterization as her husband does.

     Terry Cartwright 

Terry Cartwright

Played by David Schaal

  • Abusive Parents: Relentlessly mocks Jay for practically everything he does, which has done a number on his self-esteem and made him desperate for any kind of praise or acknowledgment.
  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Berates Jay constantly, and doesn't rein it in even when in front of his friends.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Has a handful of very small moments that show he has affection for his son:
  • The Bully: Practically all of his lines are mocking taunts directed at Jay.
  • Dirty Old Man: Jay's perversion clearly comes from him. The first thing he does upon meeting Jane in the movie is to kiss her on the lips unprompted.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Even he finds Jay's uncle's behaviour towards him unbearable.
  • Fat Bastard: Possessed of a hairy beer gut and is borderline abusive towards Jay.
  • Gasshole: Is quite loud when using to toilet in a cramped caravan. The smell is so bad, Will notes that his eyes are burning.
  • Hate Sink: Everything about him works to earn the audience's ire. This has the added effect of making Jay seem more likable and sympathetic.
  • Hypocritical Heartwarming: Surprisingly, he gets one in the second movie when he starts a fight with his cousin when he repeatedly insults Jay in front of him. Bearing in mind, Jay's dad usually says similar things to Jay, apparently only he is allowed to do so.
  • Jerkass: He's constantly derisive towards both his wife and son. He's actually fairly amicable toward all of Jay's friends, but they still rightfully find him to be disgusting.
  • Karma Houdini: Nevers suffers any consequences for his terrible treatment of his son.
  • Lower-Class Lout: He's a brutish, unwashed working-class bloke.
  • The Pig-Pen: He has no manners whatsoever, allows his piss to splash in all directions while in the bathroom, and produces farts rank enough to offend even Neil's nostrils.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The bullying Manly Man to Jay's insecure Sensitive Guy.
  • Straw Misogynist: Refers to women as though they were objects, along with all of his other loathsome characteristics.

Rudge Park Comprehensive Students and Faculty

     Mr. Gilbert 

Mr. Philip Gilbert
I assure you, once my legal obligation to look after your best interests is removed, I can be one truly nasty FUCKER.
Played by Greg Davies

  • Berserk Button: Seems to have one about being contradicted. Will being Will, he tends to do this a lot.
  • Big Damn Heroes: A downplayed example, since "hero" definitely doesn't seem to apply (he's mainly doing it to keep the peace rather than out of concern for anyone's welfare), but twice throughout the series he swoops in to prevent Neil from becoming a victim of "Paedo" Kennedy's attentions.
  • Break the Haughty: His poor treatment of Will seems to be part him just being a dick, and part a desire to bring the boy down a peg or two, since Will genuinely does possess a rather over-inflated opinion of how smart, mature and wise he is.
  • Brick Joke: In the series, he tells Will he'd like to get with his mother. In the second movie, he actually does.
  • Child Hater: He really seems like one at times.
  • Cool Old Guy: On holidays at least, he'll loosen up and go on the piss. He turns up in Malia in the first movie, riding a quadbike while naked and in the extended cut playing drinking games in one of the bars.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Probably the biggest in the show.
  • Dean Bitterman: It's pretty clear that he's lost all interest in actually educating teens at this point. He and Will tend to clash often.
  • Death Glare: Pretty much constantly gives off an intimidating wide-eyed one.
  • Depending on the Writer: The show tends to flip flop on whether he's a Reasonable Authority Figure beneath his Jerkassery or a complete Sadist Teacher who freely abuses his power to pick on students. Generally he only becomes the latter when someone acts particularly annoying towards him, but that isn't always the case.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Many of his punishments tend to turn out this way, especially towards Will.
    • He forces Will to attend his work experience at the garage simply because Will told him he made a mistake.
    • Threatens to ruin Will's educational prospects unless he finds out who ruined the flower garden.
    • He gives Jay and Neil four weeks of detention simply for mentioning that they saw him at Waterside Mall.
  • Do Not Call Me Phil: Especially not if you're Will.
  • The Dreaded: Most of the time, none of the four want anything to do with him.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Absolutely towers over Will's mum; his eventual girlfriend.
  • I Banged Your Mom: In the second movie. He takes a sick pleasure in describing the act to Will.
  • Jaded Washout: It's clear that any enthusiasm he may have once had for teaching has long since eroded into callous cynicism.
  • Jerkass: He deliberately goes out of his way to make life miserable for Will and takes great pleasure in seeing misfortunes happen to him.
  • Jerkass Has a Point:
    • While he takes delight in Will's bullying during his work experience, he still believes that Will must've said something for him to get bullied that badly. In fact, part of the reason for Will's hazing is his own insensitive comments.
    • He actually agrees with Will when the former complains that the Fashion Show is just a popularity contest, but that doesn't stop him forcing Will to man the ticket booth.
    • While his dismissive attitude towards Neil possibly getting a woman pregnant is callous and unhelpful, he's also not wrong that there's neither a lot he can do about the situation nor is it really his responsibility to clean up the messes that students make in their private lives outside of school.
    • He only refuses to let Will go to the bathroom during his exam because he had already allowed him to go three times earlier in the same hour; it's perfectly reasonable for him to at that point become suspicious that Will could be using the repeated trips as a way to cheat.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Will thinks he's a good enough guy to help Neil out once (he thinks) he got a girl pregnant. He's wrong.
  • Large and in Charge: He's 6'8". Will once refers to him as "a lunatic giant."
  • Last-Name Basis: He refers to the student body exclusively by their last names. In addition to reinforcing how little he wants anything to do with them, it also reinforces his jerkass-teacher tendencies; while modern schooling tends to emphasize learning and using first names in order to try and create a bond, in the past this trope used to be more common as teachers were expected to be more authoritarian and remote.
  • Moral Myopia: He generally disapproves of grassing, especially if it's from Will. But he also threatens to ruin Will's academic prospects if he doesn't rat out his friends.
  • Not So Different: Despite hating Will with passion most of the time, he genuinely agrees with him when Will argues that a fashion show is a stupid, unethical way to collect money for charity since only good-looking people are able to take part, and the (self-proclaimed) good-looking people are clearly just using charity as a hypocritical cover to indulge in their narcissism. However, he is still enough of an asshole to force Will to take care of the charity money anyways, although it's possible he makes Will do it to give him a dose of Humble Pie.
  • Only Sane Man: Albeit a very mean-spirited one. He probably has the most common sense out of the entire cast, and always speaks to others frankly regardless of whether they're a student or an adult, but he's so jaded and cynical that his sanity almost always comes out in the form of acerbic insults or cruel mocking at the idiocy of the people around him.
  • Pet the Dog: Surprisingly a lot considering his misanthropy.
    • Neil mentions Gilbert takes him making a move on Ms. Timms after one too many beers quite well.
    • He also stops Paedo Kennedy from molesting Neil on several occasions, even telling Kennedy that he's been, "putting his fucking neck on the line for", him.
    • In the Exam episode, he doesn't disqualify Jay for having his phone out, despite having every right to do so.
    • After Will shits himself, he leads him quietly out of the exam with as little fuss as possible.
    • In the second movie, he genuinely seems besotted with Will's mum.
    • He admits in the yearbook he actually quite likes Simon.
    • He ends the first season musing almost warmly about how well the Christmas party went and how he may go to bed "relatively hate-free" as a result, though he does interrupt himself to berate a couple of students about making out in public or tagging people's property.
  • Sadist Teacher / Apathetic Teacher: The former against students who have managed to personally annoy or insult him, especially Will. The latter against students in general.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's very sweary for a teacher.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Will gets on the wrong side of him on his first day and he never lets up at him, even after he leaves the school. Beyond generally acting as an authoritarian-yet-disinterested teacher, he's less so to the others in the group; while Jay also tends to get up his nose it's not quite to the same extent as Will, he tends to regard Neil more with exasperated resignation and seems more or less indifferent to Simon (although he admits in the yearbook that he actually kind of likes him).
  • Soft-Spoken Sadist: He's a Sadistic Teacher who generally speaks in a contemptuously hushed tone.
  • Tranquil Fury: While he's perpetually agitated, he almost never yells at his students when they push him over the edge; he prefers more hurtful ways off getting back at them.
  • Villainy-Free Villain: His only villainous deed is being a complete asshole.

     Carli D'Amato 

Carli D'Amato
You're not going to ask me to finger myself again, are you?
Played by Emily Head

  • Alpha Bitch: She has a much higher standing in the popularity pecking order than the lads and, especially in series 3 and the first movie, comes across as one of the most popular girls at school with a bitchy streak and a poor choice in men.
  • Ambiguous Innocence: Since she never receives any individual focus of her own, it can be hard to get a read on just how exactly she feels about Simon. Sometimes she seems to only be interested in him for the sake of stringing him along for her own benefit, but other times she seems to be genuinely willing to hang out with him without an ulterior motive. It doesn't help that Simon himself constantly does disgusting, embarassing, and even horrible things in front of her by mistake, giving her plenty of reason to fully dislike him.
  • Bastard Boyfriend: Her on again/off again boyfriend Tom frequently prioritizes his rugby mates over her, though the few times he actually appears he's shown to at least be amicable to Simon.
  • Beautiful All Along: Her profile in the yearbook hints at this having happened prior to the beginning of the series; she started to get in with the popular crowd after she got out of braces and into make-up
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She comes across as a Nice Girl in the first season, but knowingly strings Simon along. By the first movie, she outright uses him for her own ends, though its sort of Si's own fault for being awkward around her.
  • Childhood Friend Romance: Simon believes that, because they've known each other since they were eight, they're destined soulmates. Emphasis on believes.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Implied when she sees Simon talking to Lauren. She comes up to Simon, asking to hang out, even after she finds out he's arranged to meet up with Lauren. In the first movie, she's this to James, even using Simon to try and make him jealous. James ever refers to her as "Carli Cling-on", noting that she's very keen.
  • Embarrassing Nickname: The yearbook reveals that the other kids called her "Carli Tomato" until she hit puberty.
  • Girl Next Door: She and Simon have known each other since childhood.
  • It's All About Me: When Simon accidentally flashes a testicle at the fashion show, she complains that he ruined her big night, in spite of the fact that the whole thing was a charity event to raise money for a dialysis machine.
  • Love Interest: For Simon. It's pretty much one-sided though.
  • Of Corsets Sexy: Her choice of outfit for the fashion show's sexy finale is a corset with Opera Gloves and feather boa, while carrying a riding crop, much to Neil's delight. Simon has to concentrate so hard not to get an erection because of this outfit that he neglects to spot that one of his balls are hanging out.
  • Out of Focus: Is much less of a presence in series 3, where much of Simon's plots revolve around his relationship with Tara.
  • Pet the Dog: In spite of her Alpha Bitch tendencies, she does get Donovan to release the wedgie he's giving Will on their last day of school.
  • Put on a Bus: Simon declares that he doesn't want to see her again at the end of the first movie, and he kept his word as she is not seen or even given the slightest mention in the second movie.
  • Rummage Sale Reject: While her own fashion sense seems perfectly normal, her idea of a "sexy" male outfit consists of a speedo, a vest, a top hat, big black boots and a leash. Her design sketch for the outfit reveals that it was intended to be a social statement about male/female power dynamics that just didn't land.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Most of her characterisation revolves around Simon pining over her.
  • Sequel Non-Entity: She has vanished from the face of the earth in the second movie. While she was Put on a Bus at the end of the first movie for perfectly justifiable reasons, it's still a bit jarring as she was one of the most important characters of the show before with so many of the plots and sideplots being about Simon trying to win her heart.
  • The Tease: When Simon stops paying attention to her and starts getting interested in Lauren, all Carli has to do is compliment him and he instantly forgets all about Lauren.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: She's a reasonably nice Girl Next Door in the first series, but later on appears to be just stringing Simon along and even using him to make other guys jealous when it suits her. Her jerkassery is most evident in "The Fashion Show" and the first movie.

     Charlotte Hinchcliffe 

Charlotte Hinchcliffe
All right funny boy, make me laugh. Without undressing.
Played by Emily Atack

  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Was in a relationship with Donovan, and it's implied she's not totally over him.
  • Buxom Is Better: Her breasts are, according to Jay, so large and perfect that she needs specially made bras.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: She's seen as unattainable by the lads, but Will manages to break the ice with his wit after an awkward start. Even after his disaster in bed with her and his spreading of lies that they were more than they were, she's still nice to him considering.
  • Everyone Loves Blondes: Has blonde hair and most of the teenage male characters lust after her.
  • Food Slap: When she finds out Will's been lying about sleeping with her and called her a "porn star" to the lads at the garage, she throws her drink in his face.
  • Head-Turning Beauty: She has a reputation as being the most popular girl in school due to her looks. The lads are utterly shocked when she turns up at a house party so uncool that they were invited.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Although she puts it nicely, she tells Will that she would be fine with a guy like him as long as it isn't him, removing any possibility of romance between them.
  • In-Universe Nickname: Often known as Charlotte "Big Jugs" or Charlotte "Tits" for two pretty obvious reasons.
  • Lovable Alpha Bitch: Especially when compared to Carli.
  • Love Interest: By virtue of her number of appearances, she's likely the closest thing Will has to a main love interest on the show.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Will notes he would do anything Charlotte asked him to- including participating in the Fashion Show after deriding it repeatedly as shallow and ridiculous.
  • Not So Above It All: Has a bitchy moment when she participates in the date show despite Will thinking they were an item, though to be fair Charlotte never actually said she was his girlfriend or thought of him as a boyfriend.
  • Operation: Jealousy: Simon remarks that the very popular Charlotte is clearly flirting with Will to piss off Donovan, but Will doesn't want to hear it. Though she does seem to genuinely enjoy Will's company even after that, so it's hard to say if that was her only reason for talking to him.
  • Really Gets Around: According to Jay, she's slept with the entire rugby team. Will points out that Rudge Park doesn't even have a rugby team. She's obviously more experienced and comfortable with her sexuality than Will, as she talks about buying vibrating love eggs and mentions she's already taken eleven lovers.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: Although she doesn't appear too often, she's still one of Will's most significant love interests over the course of the series. But despite the fact that they get along quite well, it's emphasized in her last appearance that she would love a guy "like Will" as long as it isn't actually him.
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Chews out Will for bragging about her fucking like a porn star (as if he would know) and his supposed bird to impress his work experience 'colleagues', calling him a nasty little virgin and throwing a drink in his face.

     Mark Donovan 

Mark Donovan
Have a nice life, dickheads!
Played by Henry Lloyd-Hughes

  • Axe-Crazy: Will refers to him as "the school psycho." Hash seems to make him "spread butter like a maniac."
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He has a façade of being polite in front of parents, which is why he manages to get into a lot less trouble than he should.
  • The Bully: He starts on Will on the first day and doesn't let up, even giving him a wedgie on their final day at school.
  • The Charmer: Gets away with his bullying because he's very polite and pleasant towards adults. (And girls.)
  • Crazy Jealous Guy: He's threatened Will for being with Charlotte and is implied to have beaten Patrice to a pulp for sleeping with her.
  • The Dreaded: When Donovan is involved, the protagonists pretty much give up and let him get away with his bullying due to their fear of him. It occasionally works in their favor but it mostly results in them getting hurt.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He and his friends chase after Will and Simon under the assumption they were stealing a frisbee from a disabled woman. In reality, Will accidentally threw the frisbee at her and tried to take it back after a failed apology.
  • Hidden Heart of Gold: He has a sensitive side towards Charlotte. Though if you tell anyone that, he will kill you. He also immediately rushes in to beat Will up when he sees (what he believes to be) him harassing a mentally-handicapped girl.
  • Jerkass: A Jerk Jock towards the protagonists, he even writes cock on Neil's bandaged arm.
  • Jerk Jock: He's athletic and popular, along with being a total asshole.
  • Karma Houdini: None of the protagonists are physically inclined, so Donovan can pretty much get away with screwing with them without retaliation, except for one example when John of all people got him to back down in the Christmas prom episode.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: Beats up Patrice for sleeping with Charlotte.
  • Tall, Dark, and Handsome: He's tall with olive skin and dark hair, and is considered to be attractive by girls.
  • What Does She See in Him?: While he's reasonably attractive, he has a reputation throughout the school for being a violent bully, which makes his ongoing romance with the sweet-natured and popular Charlotte pretty improbable. He's suggested to have a softer side that he only shows around her, but we don't get enough insight into it to say whether or not it could justify their relationship.

     Big John 

"Big" John Webster

Played by John Seaward

  • All There in the Script: His surname, Webster, is only revealed in the Inbetweeners Yearbook.
  • Ambiguous Disorder: Much like Will, he seems to be on the autistic spectrum, if slightly more severly.
  • Big Eater: He eats so many burgers at the Christmas prom that Will has to tell him to stop.
  • Butt-Monkey: His whole purpose is to be lower on the social pecking order than the protagonists.
  • Fat Idiot: He's not all there and tends to get lost easily.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • When he sees Will being grappled by Donovan at the Christmas party, he doesn't even hesitate before yelling at Donovan to put him down, which gets the whole school year to stick up for Will and Donovan to back off.
    • He offers some shockingly insightful advice to Jay about self-acceptance during that same party.
  • Kavorka Man: Is seen at a house party with his hand on a girl's breast.
  • Nice Guy: Sticks up for Will and is fairly non-confrontational if stupid.
  • Out of Focus: After being a semi-prominent character in series 1 and 2, he's a glorified Recurring Extra in series 3 and the movie.
  • The Pig-Pen: Will notes that the only "carnage" that had happened on the Swanage trip was what he'd done to the bus toilets.
  • Straw Loser: He often appears when the four main characters seem to be complete losers to point out that they are actually not at the bottom of the hierarchy (there is a reason they're called "inbetweeners" - they're not really losers, at least not if they pull themselves together, but they are surely not popular either), because guys like John are much worse off.
    • However, it's inverted in the episode "Will's Birthday" where the fact that even John is invited to a party shows how uncool the four main characters are.
      • Although, when confronted, the girl in question says the only reason she didn't invite the lads simply because she didn't know them that well.

     John "Paedo" Kennedy 

John "Paedo" Kennedy

Played by Waen Shepherd

  • Affably Evil: He's a soft-spoken and gentle-seeming sexual predator.
  • Ascended Extra: He's a fairly minor (but memorable) character with only a few appearances in the series. The tie-in yearbook includes several sections that focus on or prominently feature him.
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: It's implied that he's good at his job, hence why he hasn't been sacked yet. Or Mr. Gilbert doesn't want to give the school bad publicity.
  • Creepy Monotone: Every line out of his mouth sounds hushed and perverted in tone.
  • Dirty Old Man: He's a middle-aged man who is constantly trying to find excuses to molest teenage boys.
  • Flanderization: While he's established as an honest to goodness paedo in his very first appearance, there's no suggestion that his interest in Neil is any different from his interest in other schoolboys that catch his fancy. His appearances in the yearbook and the series 3 advert turn this into a full on obsession and heavily imply that he may in fact be in love with Neil, with the latter in particular revealing that he desires to put on a two man version of Brokeback Mountain with himself and Neil in the starring roles.
  • Memetic Molester: In universe. Hence the nickname.
  • Open Secret: His paedophilia is a well-known fact that he's often mocked for by the students and that he makes no real effort to hide. Will brushes it off as rumors until he actually meets him, after which he is promptly stunned that the school would hire an actual paedophile.
  • Teacher/Student Romance: A one-sided example. He seems to particularly fancy Neil, and makes several attempts at feeling him up in each of his appearances. The series 3 advert has a POV shot from his perspective that depicts Neil through a Crush Filter, implying that his attraction goes beyond lust.
  • Ultimate Job Security: In spite of repeatedly attempting to molest Neil and apparently caught masturbating over the school orchestra some years back, he still has a job.It's implied that Gilbert has been covering up for him. "I'm putting my fucking neck on the line for you.". Indeed.

     Tara Brown 

Tara Brown
Beepity beep-beep! Beepity beep-beep!
Played by Hannah Tointon

  • Characterization Marches On: In her first appearance, she's a wry Deadpan Snarker with an interest in music and a light punk aesthetic. Once she and Simon begin dating, though, she becomes a doe-eyed Genki Girl who considers dressing her boyfriend up like "an eccentric posh child" to be absolutely adorable. Possibly justified if you interpret her to also be undergoing the effects of Love Makes You Dumb along with Simon; becoming more flighty and nervous around her first serious boyfriend.
  • Curtains Match the Window: Brown hair and eyes.
  • Deadpan Snarker: In her first appearance, she's fairly witty.
  • Love Makes You Dumb: Around Simon she becomes much more giddy, even giving him a ridiculous makeover.
  • Meet Cute: Simon is introduced to her by accidentally sitting on her.
  • Nice Girl: Makes an effort to be friendly to Simon's friends even as they continue to treat her poorly.
  • Remember the New Guy?: She's apparently gone to Rudge Park the entire time the lads have been there, but only appears at the start of their last year. This is quickly handwaved with the explanation that they had simply overlooked her until she had a glow up over the summer.
  • Satellite Love Interest: Defined entirely by her relationship with Simon. Once they break up, she's out of the plot for good.
  • Second Love: Simon's first actual girlfriend, but meets her while he's chasing after Carli.
  • She's All Grown Up: Implied by her claim that Simon only started noticing her after she "dyed [her] hair and grew a pair of tits."
  • Sixth Ranger: Has the small honor of being the only character to accompany the main four on their adventures for multiple episodes in a row.
  • Yoko Oh No: Will and Jay see her as this. The lads get annoyed that he spends more time with her than them. Jay even has a sound effect for whenever Simon talks about her.
    Jay: Beepity-beep-beep!

Characters Introduced in the First Movie

     Mr. MacKenzie 

Mr. MacKenzie

Played by Anthony Head

  • Abusive Parents: He's distant and openly mocking toward his only child.
  • Deadpan Snarker: He shares Will's dry sense of humor, though since he directs all of his snarking toward Will, his son, during his one major scene, it only serves to make him seem like a massive prick.
  • Dirty Old Man: He's at least 50 and married to a woman only a few years older than Will.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Once he finds out Will has a girlfriend, he cries tears of joy, hinting that maybe he does love Will in his own aloof way.
    • "Will's Birthday" reveals that he was the one out of him and Will's mum who kept track of how old their son was; without him, Polly got his age off by a year.
  • The Ghost: In the series, he's often mentioned but never appears. He finally shows up in the flesh at the beginning of the first movie.
  • Jerkass: The first we see of him, he's treating his own son Will like a joyless chore and rubbing his social awkwardness in his face.
  • Kavorka Man: He's a sour-faced middle-aged man married to a beautiful woman nearly the same age as his son, while his ex-wife is also noted in-universe to be absolutely gorgeous. It probably helps that he's rich.
  • No Name Given: The only reason we know his last name is because we know Will's full name; he himself is only ever referred to as "Will's Dad".
  • Rich Bitch: He's wealthy, but also aloof and mocking toward his son and was unfaithful to his ex-wife while they were married.
  • Your Cheating Heart: "He shagged the work experience girl and then left us"


Sit down, specs.
Played by Laura Haddock

  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Gone without a mention in the sequel. A deleted scene briefly reveals that her relationship with Will didn't go much farther than what we saw in the first movie.
  • False Soulmate: She and Will seem to get together at the end of the first movie, but he's single again by the start of the second.
  • Friends with Benefits: Offers to be this for Will after dumping Nikos. It's implied in the sequel that this was as far as it went.
  • The Gentleman or the Scoundrel: Will being the gentleman and Nikos being the scoundrel.
  • Give Geeks a Chance: While she has trouble admitting it (mostly due to already seeing someone at first), she likes Will enough to give him a fair chance.
  • Love Epiphany: After her breakup with Nikos and a night's sleep, she comes to the conclusion that she is attracted to Will.
  • Offscreen Breakup: She dumped Will between the two movies.
  • Opposites Attract: Sexually confident and easy going, compared to the repressed, socially awkward Will.
  • Pair the Smart Ones: Both her and Will are fairly smart.
  • Second Love: To Will after Charlotte, except he manages some sort of relationship with her.
  • Uptight Loves Wild: Alison has no problem being sexy around Will, who tries to keep things platonic despite his obvious feelings.


You went out with a girl called Carli? You should have said.
Played by Tamla Kari

  • All Love Is Unrequited: Played straight regarding Lucy's feelings for Simon. Averted at the film's climax.
  • Betty and Veronica: The Betty to Carli's Veronica.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: The first movie portrays her as a friendly and caring person. But in the sequel, she's quickly revealed to be an obsessive yandere and a bitch who destroys Simon's possesions out of paranoia that he's losing interest in her. And then, at the end of the film, it's revealed that she lost interest in Simon for someone else.
  • Brooding Boy, Gentle Girl: With Simon, who still hasn't moved on from Carli.
  • Devoted to You: Would do anything for Simon, despite only having just met him. She's later revealed to be insanely clingy
  • Downtime Downgrade: Gradually over the course of the sequel
  • Evil All Along: The sequel reveals she isn't the sweet and friendly girl we thought she was in the firts film.
  • False Soulmate: After the first movie sets her up as Simon's perfect match, the sequel reveals her to be a harpy.
  • Hollywood Kiss: With Simon...who immediately ruins the moment by saying "I think I've shit myself".
  • I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Gives Simon her boat party ticket so he can take one last chance on Carli.
  • Love Cannot Overcome: Her relationship with Simon fizzles out over the course of the sequel
  • Second Love: To Simon after Carli and Tara. They're even living together in the second movie, where she has easy access to his possessions.
  • Smitten Teenage Girl: She falls for Simon fairly quickly upon meeting him, even if he's completely fixated on Carli. Too much so by the sequel, as she becomes psychotically obsessed with controlling him.
  • Unrequited Tragic Maiden: She's attracted to Simon from the outset, but he spends the majority of their interactions going on about Carli.
  • Yandere: She gets seriously psychotic in the second movie, destroying Simon's possessions and deleting friends from his Facebook account.


You're trouble, aren't you?
Played by Lydia Rose Bewley

  • Amicable Exes: Unlike Lucy, she and Jay part on quite pleasant terms in the second movie.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: In spite of Jay hoping not to get stuck with her, he is secretly attracted to her and the pair of them eventually get together. She has no angst about her appearance, even coming up with better insults for herself than James manages.
  • False Soulmate: She ends up breaking up with Jay between the first movie and the sequel and, despite his best efforts, does not get back together with him.
  • Lonely Together: Jane and Jay are the only characters who aren't in love triangles.
  • NiceGirl: Probably one of the most cheerful, friendly people in the entire series.
  • Offscreen Breakup: Dumps Jay between the movies and moves to Australia, which is why Jay goes there in the first place.
  • Playing Hard to Get: After realising that Jay doesn't want to be seen with her.
  • Second Love: To Jay, after Chloe.
  • Sugar-and-Ice Personality: Gives Jay the cold shoulder after getting spurned one too many times.


I've got ethics.
Played by Jessica Knappett

  • Beta Couple: Her relationship with Neil isn't given nearly as much screen-time as the others.
  • Birds of a Feather: Is basically a clone of Neil.
  • Brainless Beauty: Neil manages to outsmart her.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Doesn't get so much as a mention in the sequel.
  • Distaff Counterpart: Looks and acts like a female version of Neil.
  • Hopeless Suitor: Knows that Neil already has a girlfriend.
  • Offscreen Breakup: Like Alison and Jane, she split with Neil between the movies. Neil isn't too bothered.
  • Pair the Spares: She and Neil pair up after the rest of the lads hook up with the rest of her group. Though, she has to threaten Richard's parents to do so.
  • The Silent Bob: Doesn't get a chance to speak until she confronts Richard's parents at the boat party, thinking that Richard's mother is making a move on Neil.
  • Unrequited Tragic Maiden: It turns out that she's aware of her status as Neil's holiday fling in the place of his girlfriend Nicole, despite falling in love with him.



Played by Theo James

  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: Provided they don't have poo on their noses.
  • Jerkass: The main things he does in the movie is running over Simon's leg with a scooter (pretending it was an accident), conning Simon out of his clothes to humiliate him, threatening Jay (who was just trying to make friends with him) to beat him up, insulting Jane for being fat, and forcing Jay to give him a note so that he can sniff cocaine.
  • Jerk Jock: Threatens to beat Jay up for supposedly liking a gay bar.



Played by Theo Barklem-Biggs
Can I borrow 20 quid?

  • Alone Among the Couples: He's wandering around the resort on his own and ends up calling his parents when being alone causes him to have a breakdown.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Doesn't seem quite all there. Neil looks savvy next to him.
  • Straw Loser: He's got no friends, has to beg for money and ends up calling his parents to come to Malia and take him home.

Characters Introduced in the Second Movie

     Katie Evans 

Katie Evans

Played by Emily Berrington

  • All Girls Want Bad Boys: In spite of the fact that Ben is a complete asshole, she can't help but be physically attracted to him.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: A case could be made for this, as she's stringing Will along while carrying on with Ben in an on/off relationship, despite the fact that she despises him.
  • Character Tics: She likes to give Will friendly punches in the shoulder.
  • Genki Girl: She's highly energetic and gets even moreso with alcohol.
  • Hypocrite: She's constantly acting enlightened and in touch with spirituality yet repeatedly hooks up with Ben despite finding him repellant, demonstrating that she's clearly more governed by her baser urges than she wants others to think.
  • No Sense of Personal Space: Gets up close to Will a lot and is always jumping on people, touching them, hugging, etc.
  • The Tease: She is constantly kissing Will, even though she has a thing going on with Ben.
  • Remember the New Guy?: She was at school with Will before he transferred to Rudge Park. She doesn't quite count as a New Old Flame, as they were never together, but Will does mention that she was his first love.
  • Who Wears Short Shorts?: She constantly wears hot pants, when she isn't outright stripped down to just a bikini.

     Ben Thornton-Wild 

Ben Thornton-Wild

Played by: Freddie Stroma

  • Bourgeois Bohemian: Will identifies Ben as a trust fund baby who is probably travelling on his parents' dime but is an utter hypocrite in his views on wealth.
  • Hipster: He's got the whole anti-mainstream thing going for him, especially during his Establishing Character Moment when he thinks that having medical supplies on a tough trek is too touristy.
  • Jerkass: He berates Will for simply trying to introduce himself. Katie doesn't even like him, but can't help but be attracted to him. He's not even an in-your-face Jerk Jock lout so much as more of a university snob.
  • Mr. Fanservice: He shows off his ripped physique for much of the film.
  • Pretty Fly for a White Guy: His dreadlocks. Will calls him out on being white and blond, noting that dreadlocks make him look pretentious.
  • Romantic False Lead: Subverted. He has all the makings of this, but Katie chooses him over Will after he calls them out.
  • Villainy-Free Villain: Doesn't do anything bad, but his rivalry with Will coupled with his arrogance makes it impossible to like him.

     Uncle Bryan 

Uncle Bryan

Played by: David Field

  • Jerkass: Just like his cousin Terry, he makes fun of Jay in front of his friends.
  • The Millstone: He twists Simon's attempt at breaking up with Lucy into a marriage proposal.
  • Racist Grandpa: Uncle Bryan mentions that it's shame that Jay's dad doesn't want to move to Australia because "We could do with some white immigration for a change".

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