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El Superbeasto
- Voiced by: Tom Papa
- Adaptational Wimp: His comic incarnation managed to easily best Krongar in a very fast rematch. His animated version never gets a chance to, but fights a different humongous enemy in the film's third act.
- All Men Are Perverts: 98% of the time he's focused on wanting to have sex with attractive women.
- Cool Car: Drives really rad heavily-customized red convertible. It has many accessories including but not limited to, a huge engine, tail fins, flame decals, and a grill that looks like a snarling monster's maw.
- Cool Mask: His bllue and yellow luchador mask that he hasn't taken off since he was an infant.
- Combat Haircomb: The theme song intro sequence shows him using a comb to decapitate a weird clown zombie thing. Which he was formely using to comb some non-existant hair.
- Doorstop Baby: He was taken in by Suzi X's family when he was just an infant in a basket left at their front door.
- Everyone Has Standards: Incest is a line he will not cross, even if his sister isn't biologically related to him.
- Extreme Omnisexual: He has no qualms with having sex with absolutely anything that classifies as female and has the holes. Be it monsters, zombies and even the actual dead.
- Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The brutish and sex-obsessed Foolish adoptive brother to Suzi's Responsible sister.
- Gag Penis: While reasonably well-endowed, he stuffs his pet cat/sidekick Luke St. Luke into his pants to make the bulge in them look even larger.
- Happily Adopted: Despite his eccentricities, he's decently happy with his family and cherishes his sister.
- Heroic Build: Although a couple of Gross-Up Close-Up scenes reveal that his personal hygiene is rather poor.
- Heroic Second Wind: The deleted scenes of his movie show him getting briefly knocked out by Dr. Satan's sewer monster only to rouse himself back into action to save El Gato.
- Improbable Weapon User: Dildos, plastic combs, ceiling fans, another man's scrotum, his own scrotum, and etc. if it even has the chance of being used to hurt somebody he will find a way to do it.
- No-Sell: For whatever reason, he is neither infected nor turned into stone during his fight with a werewolf and a gorgon despite having been bitten by the former and stared at directly by the latter.
- Pet the Dog: When given the opportunity to escape Dr. Satan's dungeon by himself, Beasto takes time to rescue his fellow prisoner El Gato sans any ulterior motive.
- Retired Badass: He is a former wrestler.
- Sanity Ball: Grasps it near the end of the movie when he finds out someone just happened to be carrying a book that had all the info needed to stop Dr. Satan the entire time and finds it ridiculous it wasn't mentioned sooner.
- Small Name, Big Ego: He thinks he's the best hero there is, but is often making a mess of things.
- Unknown Rival: To Frankie Muniz, who somehow keeps snagging the TV and movie roles that Beasto is aiming for.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: A lot of humor is derived from how self-centered and rude he is.
- Waking Non Sequitur: Happens when Suzi is rousing him from unconsiousness:Suzi X: Wake up, Beasto! You're Earth's only hope!El Superbeasto: Caramels are chewy.
- Would Hit a Girl: The film opens with him killing two female monsters he was shooting a porno with when they attempt to assassinate him.
Suzi-X
- Voiced by: Sheri Moon Zombie
- Action Girl: She fights monsters.
- Anti-Hero: The monsters she fights are evil, but she tends to be unrelenting in the level of violence she's willing to use against them.
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: Avoided. Her nipples are clearly shown a few times.
- Eyepatch of Power: She wears an eyepatch for an unknown reason and has had it since she was a little girl. Even Lampshaded by the singers in her theme song.
- Ms. Fanservice: She's very gorgeous and gets several nude scenes.
- Guns Akimbo: Her primary means of attack is dual-fisting automatics.
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath: She really enjoys inflicting violence on monsters.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Heroic sociopath she may be, she's never rude or condescending to Murray and views him as invaluable help even if she doesn't realize he's in love with her.
- Oblivious to Love: Murray is hopelessly in love with her, but she seems to view their relationship as Just Friends.
- Origin Story: Parodied. Her decision to become a vigilante involved a sexist guidance councillor, winning a wet t-shirt contest, and watching Taxi Driver.
- Stripperiffic: She is first seen wearing a very revealing costume.
- Spy Catsuit: Partway through the film, she changes into a form-fitting bodysuit.
- Vapor Wear: She even admits not wearing panties.
Murray the Robot
- Voiced by Brian Posehn
- Adaptational Nice Guy: Like Otto, he was much more brutish and sarcastic in the comics.
- Do-Anything Robot: He can turn into different vehicles and he also has several weapons built into him.
- Gag Penis: He has a telescoping robot dick which is also a cannon. And a merry-go-round.
- Sex Bot: He's perpetually horny and hopelessly in love with Suzi.
Dr. Satan/Steve Wachowski
- Voiced by Paul Giamatti
- Abhorrent Admirer: He's been an unwanted suitor to Suzi ever since high school.
- Camp Straight: He has some flamboyant tendencies, but he's clearly shown to be into women and has married 22 times before the events of the film.
- Caught with Your Pants Down: Otto walks in on him while he's masturbating.
- Dreadful Musician: Back in high school, he wrote a love song to Suzi-X called "Lick My Love Muffin."
- Eats Babies: Shortly after gaining demonic superpowers, he breaks into a delivery room and eats a newborn baby.
- Epic Fail: His attempt to give an unconscious Beasto an atomic wedgie is an utter wash.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Otto the Gorilla are rather close.
- Kick the Dog: In addition to the above-mentioned baby eating, he crushes a box of kittens under his heel during his demon-powered rampage.
- That Man Is Dead: He had his name legally changed to "Dr. Satan" and insists that "Steve Wachowski is no more!"
Velvet Von Black
- Voiced by Rosario Dawson
- Adaptation Dye-Job: Was brown-haired in the comics.
- Brainless Beauty: Is a total knock-out, but doesn’t seem to understand what “coherent” means, thinking it was an insult when Otto tells her to remain coherent and throwing it back at him.
- Ms. Fanservice: She is practically naked or topless throughout most of the film.
- Gasshole: She farts a few times and refuses to apologize for it.
- Gold Digger: Marries Dr. Satan for his money.
- Hammerspace: She keeps a pack of cigarettes and a lighter in her cleavage.
- Hartman Hips: She has big hips.
- Interspecies Romance: Has sex with Otto the Gorilla at the end.
- Jerkass: Very obnoxious and foul mouthed.
- Lady Swears-a-Lot: Virtually every line she says is laced with profanity.
- My Girl Is a Slut: A lot of men like her for how lecherous she can be.
- Pretty Fly for a White Guy: She's lily-white, and talks like a Jive Turkey.
- Stripperiffic: Her job was a stripper after all, so of course she'd wear revealing clothes.
- The Von Trope Family: Her surname is Von Black
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: She can somehow hid a cigarette and a zippo lighter in her breasts, she's even flexible enough to have her own breasts put the cigarette on her mouth and light the cigarette with the lighter.
- Vocal Dissonance: She's got pale skin with black hair and looks gothic, but she speaks with a heavy Ebonics/Valley Girl accent.
Otto the Gorilla
- Voiced by Tom Kenny
- Adaptational Nice Guy: In the comics, he was a perverted thug. His movie counterpart might still kidnap people and beat them up, but he's rather nice about it.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: He and Dr. Satan act like close friends.
- Hypercompetent Sidekick: Thanks to his head-bolt, he's highly intelligent in addition to his natural strength and agility.
- Mistreatment-Induced Betrayal: Dr. Satan's increasingly shabby treatment of Velvet and himself eventually causes Otto to turn on him.
- Non-Human Sidekick: He's a gorilla who also happens to be Dr. Satan's lackey.
- Servile Snarker: Gets in a few pretty good asides at Dr. Satan's expense.
- Slap-Slap-Kiss: Develops this sort of Relationship with Velvet Von Black.
- Wicked Cultured: He enjoys watching BBC documentaries and is an accomplished sculptor and chef.
