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Characters / The Grand Battle

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Season One

    The Grand Battle 

The Director

The dude that started this Grand Battle. He doesn't seem to have any specific form, only appearing as a vaguely man-shaped cloud of smoke in a suit. He ordered eight Gentlemen to grab a guy and enter them into this thing.

Lutherion Maw

An insane necromancer who died in a fire but managed to come back as a zombie. He created the Wightmaw Arm which is basically a bunch of souls pressed down into the shape of a bunch of bone splinters which were then merged with his arm. He's also afraid of the color red.


The daughter of a dragon lord. She fights using ethereal energy that doesn't particularly gives any noticeable damage unless she has channeled it long enough. She is a dragon but spent almost all of her time in human form.

  • Weredragon: A dragon who preferred to spend time in human form. Did very little draconic, until about three rounds after the original character had died.


The ghost of a fallen warrior who did nothing special in life, really. Boastful and prideful despite having nothing to boast about.

  • Fake Ultimate Hero: He died trying to take credit for a kill. Never underestimate Lutherion.


A rather robotic woman who looks like a young teenager. She has a magitek armband.

Eximo Pulvis

An undead vacuum cleaner. Very much robotic and obsessed with the job of cleaning. Later, he learns to love.

Nathan Finley

Just a regular kid. His father was a demon hunter who sealed demons into weapons. Nathan's weapon is one of those. In the middle of the battle, he made a deal with the demon in the knife and thus went insane.

Emily Trenwye

An old cleric type person. She is pretty much racist against demons, though really, she does have good reason.

Aeon Ferrous

Another regular guy. He has a neat adaptive tool. Also a fast thinker.


    The Grand Battle II 

The Observer

Pretty much copied The Director in an attempt to out-do him. Is pretty average except his face only has one eye on it. That's it. He's a mouthless cyclops (but can still talk somehow). He selected his own contestants. Rather eccentric and likes saying things with an exclamation point at the end! Because of boredom and because he was suggested to do so, he started up Season Two.

Galus Lee Matthews

Part human part alien (Urisian to be exact). The only things that give away his alien heritage are his orange eyes. Traveled around a lot in space.

Samuel Therion

A 'Karmist,' that is, he can sense and manipulate one's karma by use of a certain channel; in his case, death. Samuel can kill something and use the energy in the 'potential life' to do some cool stuff. He's kind of a bastard.

Maxwell Deakin

Possibly the most normal contestant. He's a bit of an eccentric and very smart. Every round, he pretty much sits and overthinks things and babbles a lot. He has a rapier but has never really used it. Somehow, he's still survived.

  • Unfazed Everyman
    • He's thrust into a battle to the death involving a sentient pile of boxes, a space marine, and a being from the edge of the universe, to name a few. His highest priority?

Professor Armidillo Reccxer

Also eccentric and rather cheerful. He made the Cane of Materialistic Improbability, which allows him to change the mass and composition of any object, including himself. Even when forced to battle for his life, he continuously wrote in his journal. How does he find time to do that?


A Schrotgolem. Basically, it's a spirit that possesses a lot of junk. It looks like a bunch of boxes that just move around on their own.

  • Ax-Crazy: Or at least, seems to be. At first.
  • Combat Pragmatist: Shown most effectively in its scuffle with Samuel in the Labyrinth Field. And most lethally when he simply strangles Maxwell with his own shirt.
  • Determinator: More noticeably (and callously) as the battle reaches its climax.


A magician who can materialize almost anything except weapons because of his mask. He's quite the coward.


A being made out of what looks like part of the night sky. Was intended to be genderless but somehow came out a 'she'.

The Sunset

A worn-out suit of power armor. A 'Balancer,' he was one of many who made sure that nobody gained enough power to overthrow order. He had a limited power source.

    Battle Royale 

The Composer

An imposing woman with grey skin and white eyes. She wears a nice blue kimono and is quite the control freak. She takes grand battles very very seriously. Because she thought having The Eccentric run The Delicious Engagement was a travesty and spat on the honor of grand battles, she took over and renamed it Battle Royal Season Two.

Xeno Photon

Apparently a samurai from Feudal Japan who rose to the position of Daimyo. He wields a soul saber and a kitsune mask. The Soul Saber can only be wielded by one who is pure neutral and sucks the soul right out of anybody it cuts who is also pure neutral. The more inclined towards good or evil a person is, the more hits to the soul they take. The kitsune mask is of the kitsune god and he is unable to take it off or he'll turn into a kitsune or something. He was put into a deep sleep by one of his enemies and awoke in a futuristic society and became a high-ranking general of a space station somehow.

  • Gratuitous Japanese: Dude was a semi-immortal samurai who got his curse in feudal Japan, which turns him into a kitsune. Or something.
  • True Neutral: ...Apparently.


A 'Fang layonin,' a species that can transform into wolves. He can turn into a half or a full wolf. He can channel his energy into weapons to strengthen or lengthen them. He was a war hero.

Gadget Solune

A 'Chib,' which are essentially really small people. He also has a cybernetic eye and arm. Gadget has the power to give anything a soul. He's a rather nice guy with a robot buddy.

Mike Shaun

A rather insane dude with a sort of psychokinesis. He has these sort of invisible arms coming out of his back (vectors) that are incredibly strong.


A ninja. He was an orphan. He was also dead all along.


An 'Eclipse,' a race of shadow people that wear masks to differentiate among themselves. He fights using shadows. He used to be a bodyguard.

Itzal Argi

A rather mysterious bloke who is always wearing a red cloak. Nobody knows what he is or if he even is a 'he'. He used to be a popular magician, his specialty being illusions. He can also shapeshift.

Whit O'Donal

An extremely lucky guy. He has a gun given to him by his Creator.

    Pitched Combat 

The Organizer

An incredibly plain man. He tends to take on the appearance of those around him, though with a lilac motif. He mentions being older than at least most of the other Grandmasters.


A superhero with a hat-related motif (and you thought spiders and bats were ridiculous). He was adopted by a rich family but ran away when his adopted family and his real family started fighting and became HATMAN! He has the ability of hammerspace and is British. He has a verbal tic, mate, but oddly enough, it didn't really materialize in the battle.

  • Morph Weapon: He found one in the ruins of a cottage in the middle of a haunted forest (somehow). It could turn from a gun into a sword seemingly quite randomly and for some reason bats flew out of it. It ended up killing him.

Jordan Smith

A coward and a pyrokinetic, which are two words that don't seem to go together, but there you have it. Doesn't have any friends and was bullied a bit in school until he accidentally set one of them on fire.

Eemp, Right, and Rong

Eemp is around three feet in height and is a straw doll. Its arms are two dragons, Right and Rong. The right arm is Right. The left arm is Rong. Right is a red Chinese dragon who is the smarter of the trio (though that's not saying much). He likes pondering more than fighting but is rather cunning and often does some scheming. Sometimes he makes stupid puns. Rong is a blue European dragon who is very fond of burning things. She tends to flip out and shout. Eemp doesn't do anything besides walk because he is only a straw doll. The trio was a result of a kingdom's wizard and they were immediately employed as a war machine.


A Violet rank clone and devoted follower of Friend Computer! She has telekinesis (that she never actually used). She's extremely, worryingly, insufferably happy.

  • Cloning Gambit: Considering she's a Paranoia character, this actually worked. Until her transportalizer broke.

Alex Corendal

A knight who has an elemental sword that is quite complex.

Cpt. Vasily Rurikovich

A pirate who is charismatic and quite a good speaker. He has a nice accent.

A Nameless Manikin

A human-sized wooden mannequin. It can grow mouths on any part of its body to eat things so that it can thus turn into these things. It usually doesn't have eyes and sees 'life' instead.

  • Extreme Omnivore: From trees to mutated rabbit flesh to glass to the psychological representation of Joe Peacock...


A girl that actually holds four people inside her: Lainey, Yume, Niko and Lissa. Each has their own personality.

    Intense Struggle 

The Monitor

Is actually a very advanced robot. As many robots do, he relies more on numbers, data, and careful thought. He is of the opinion that every other Grandmaster is careless with their contestants. Started Intense Struggle Season Two to gather more data.

Larus Mutabilis

A grey-skinned guy who could turn to smoke.

Aegis Cupris

A guy from the same canon as Aeon who has transforming gauntlets. He's rather boisterous and loud and very strong.

Sister Clara Jungfrau

An undead cleric. She is a Necropolitan, meaning she willingly went through a ritual to become undead. She has a variety of spells at hand. She's also pretty nice.


An experiment whose whole life was a secret laboratory. He had the ability to shapeshift into any animal. He also has a knife that shapeshifts with him into something. It depends on what form he takes. He's rather shy.


A Twilight Sprite. She looks like a little girl.


A water-being that could shapeshift. He was hired by the Monitor to incite violence among the contestants.


A pyrokinetic. He has an evil side or something I think.


A man-made nymph that was made to unconditionally love whoever she laid eyes on. She's a little crazy.

    The Battle Majestic 

The Executive

Because of the many grand battles going on, he created this one to have an excuse not to constantly catch up with the others and promptly put the responsibility of running a battle on two subordinates, Sruix and Talis.


A wolf. That can talk.


Actually two chaos gods from different universes accidentally merged; Vex and Magog. Magog takes form as one arm and tends to make whoever touches him go crazy. Vex is a pretty nice guy and rather clever. He has to be nice if he doesn't want Magog to destroy everything everywhere.


A plant thing. He caries seven pods of World Trees or something and desires to plant them. The World Trees tend to grow quite big.

Steven Taylor

A guy with sentient gloves or something. One creates, the other destroys.

Jacob Helix

The coolest bearded swordsman ever.

Alexander Striensand

Pyrokinetic and pyromaniac.

Blitz Wykerr

He does stuff with lightning I dunno. He is a nice guy, but his father isn't. His father is sort of possessing him.

John Swift

A humanoid. The only real non-human thing about him is that he has no fingers. He does stuff with ice.


    Epic Clash 

The Overseer

Runs Epic Clash with The Chronicler. The Overseer is rather confident and young-looking with an unnerving grin.


A crazy guy with a fishbowl for a head. He wears a cape from which he pulls out the oddest things. Like Moon Shoes.

  • Bag of Holding: His cape is full of hammerspace. And hilarious objects.

Mr. Nothing

He's a reaper or something I dunno.

James Raven

A guy I dunno

Thomas Packston

Actually made up of four people: Eric, Greg, Bern and Walt. They each have their own personalities and control over a certain element.

Michelle Davis

A survivor of a Zombie Apocalypse.

Emilio Nahaz

A knight or something I dunno.

Special Agent Coy Spender

A special agent or something I dunno. He has a special invisible ATM machine that dispenses coins that pretty much defies the laws of physics.


A ghost girl or something I dunno.

    The Savage Brawl 

The Cultivator

Messy, disorganized and spacey. The Cultivator searched tediously for all her contestants. She is well-known for having an interest in pretty much everything and being at least somewhat knowledgeable in a variety of topics. She's also well-known behind her back as The Dabbler as nothing has managed to keep her attention for very long. She has had many, many names in the past and her own little pocket universe contains the detritus of her previous interests, or possibly just some junk she keeps for whatever reason.


A guy who made a deal with the devil. He has this knife that's super hot. Which is a little of an understatement I guess.

Hand of Silver

A cyborg guy who managed to become a galactic overlord or something. Pretty much all cyborg except for his brain.


An ancient ooze which is actually an ancient avatar god of entropy and stuff. It won the war against life then started destroying its own armies and was working on destroying itself. It can weaken magic and make people crazy.


A god of death. He uses blood to draw runes on himself that lets him transform. Usually once he died, he could just inhabit another body, but the Cultivator fixed that. He didn't like it very much.

  • Retired Monster: At first he's this, then people piss him off and he goes back to being a regular monster.

Dr. Anarchy

A mad scientist. Very insane. Very sciency.

Konka Rar

A cyborg lich conquerer guy. He can do magic stuff and cyborg stuff.


A giant meatball. Can make minions out of himself and holds a virus that eventually turns things into food. He has great big noodly appendages.

Diego Red

A serial killer who used his powers of air manipulation to make an air drill thing around his finger and stick it in people's ears.

Season Two

    The Grand Battle (Season 2) 

Arkal of the Silver Anvil

A disgruntled old guy who's fairly strong, has a nice beard, and can make neat weapons.

Jennifer Tull

She has royal blood and is pretty much good at a lot of things. And can get away with a lot of things too.


A shapeshifter or something I dunno


He's a guy made out of a tough mineral that has been through this battle hundreds of times before and is very assured that he will win.

Maxwell and Sikarius

A dead guy and his parasite. Sik can sort of force him to sort of shapeshift.

The Ovoid

A part of a fourth dimensional being. It is inscrutable as it is ovoid.

  • True Neutral: If only because nobody knows what the hell it's thinking. Or planning. If it even can.


A Rillian. A black-skinned humanoid. He has a scythe.


A sort of ghostly guy that has a circular chessboard. He likes strategising. He also has a knife.

    Inexorable Altercation 

The Wordsmith

A Grandmaster who died 7000 years previously. He wrote out the details of the battle which is now being enacted by his cult following.

Annaliese Nibbs

The worst witch in the world.

  • Born Unlucky
  • Comedic Hero: "Succeeds" is a relative term here, but she's not dead yet.
  • Shapeshifting: The only real magical talent Annaliese could be said to possess is the ability to turn into a... hummingbird.



Felix Atrum

An over-the-top villain who can manipulate gravity or something I dunno.


A guy I dunno

Loran Twight

Some other guy I dunno

OTTO and O'rlyath

A draconic robot who shares his metallic body with a deity.


The other other guy I dunno

Will Haven

A guy stuck in a time loop.


    The Battle Royale (Season 2) 

Geoff Wilson

A gray-skinned guy who is impervious to magic. He's detective-y.

Jeremy Brackett

A guy who can make doors lead to another door, no matter if it's locked or something.

  • Portal Network: Jeremy's power gives him access to something like this. Essentially, he can make any sort of door turn into a Cool Gate.


A black humanoid thing that is very squishy and considers himself a 'thing' rather than a person. He talks to inanimate objects. When he falls asleep, his dream leaks into the real world.

  • Companion Cube: The Photographer can talk to inanimate objects. They talk back to him. Everybody else just hears a one-sided conversation.

Sereno Dementis

A guy who has this shadow thing that stares at him a lot.


An angel who hates ridiculous things, and is of course surrounded by them.


A gargoyle with a silly name.

Timothy Swhales

A guy that can talk to his pantheon via torc and attempt to gain boons but more often than not fails.

Wardell Paraswon

A guy that can whip out any book in the universe.


A kid who can turn intangible. He's easily spooked. He wears metal shoes to keep from falling through the earth. He never made it to the actual battle.

  • New Meat: Not intended from the start, but when his writer took over the running of this Battle, he sure died like one.
  • Intangible Man

    The Gradual Massacre 

The Controller

A complete sadist. An extreme sadist. Like, so unbelievably sadistic, you don't even know.

Acacia Skammer

A corrupt botanist. She's deaf because otherwise she wouldn't be able to use that sonic boomer collar thing.


A guy who lived in a post-apocalyptic world brought about by space worms. He has one on his head that lets him materialize whatever he can think of but it eats his memories in return. Because of his sister, he tries not to use it so much.

  • Disaster Scavengers: Algernon displays a serious packrat personality in Round 1. Considering that Round 2 is a museum filled to the brim with torture devices and pain and suffering, it's understandable that he hasn't picked up anything since.
    • However, he doesn't hesitate to pick up the junk that Pluck materializes for him.
  • Equivalent Exchange: Algernon's parasitic head-worm can summon anything he wants, but in exchange he has to discard his own memories.
  • Head Pet: Uh... Close enough.
  • Human Notepad: In case he accidentally forgets something important. Like, for instance, that he's in a fight to the death.
  • Neutral Good

Holly Tallbirch

An elf who can turn emotions into items and vice versa. She likes screwing with people's minds.

Lucas Maxl & Co.

An insane guy who is possessed by a few demons: Lust, Wrath, Greed and Envy.


A whole swarm of Ouroborites, which are mutant bugs that are creepy and scary.


A werewolf who can make whatever what someone's thinking of real. He can't see what they're thinking of though, so it's sort of a crapshoot sometimes. He has his own ideas what 'good' is.

Sir Arnold Scarlet

An immortal knight who used to be part of the Round Table. In the present, he became a cop. Right now, he's probably wishing he were dead.


A part of an eldritch abomination fused to a person. He's pretty ruthless.

The Countess

A clockwork-putty-spider-woman thing. She's almost as sadistic as The Controller. She was hired by him to move the battle along if necessary.

    Intense Struggle (Season 2) 


A death-robot. Deathbot.


A dragonfly-bug-princess person who wanted the throne but was beaten to it by her sister. She has a few anger issues.


Actually a video game avatar. She hasn't yet realized it's not a game.

Lillian Finch

A cute little girl with a Kindred Spirit that is rather fond of her.

Lloyd Conrad

A protagonist from a book who found a way to escape from it and started wreaking havoc in other books. He was ripped out of a book by The Monitor.

Marcus White

A really strong guy who's not dumb.

Reudic Otsaceae

A psychic floating plant.


A bird woman with the ability to see the future. She has become sort of a vigilante.

    The Phenomenal Fracas 

The Prestidigitator

Another one of the older grandmasters, he prefers more show and razzle dazzle in his battles. He has a strong sense of tradition.

Eureka Finch

A woman who has the ability to control cloth. She is on the run from two major organizations, a government one and an underground one, and is a little paranoid.

La Aguja del Dolor and High Priest Muriego

An evil death god pincushion and his high priest. Muriego has his Mouth Stitched Shut and seems to almost have no mind of his own. La Aguja has some mind manipulation powers.


A trashcan. With teeth.


A scientist with a bunch of potions and questionable liquids that can do almost anything.

Ripper Blackmask

A sky pirate that can turn happiness (in the form of objects) into power.


A crazy black lizard snake teeth thing. At least he's not a mindless monster.


A desert guy who can control sand and dust.


A ghost made out of fireflies. She's not the brightest contestant there, but then again, fireflies. She believes all the other contestants are part of the Council of Elders that had her killed.

    The Fatal Conflict 

The Redeemer

Formally known as Zaire before he killed The Redeemer (otherwise known as Death) and took on his role. He was about to mess with the laws of death (and thus mess with the grand battles themselves) before The Prestidigitator stopped him and convinced him to make his own grand battle.

Bellona Achillia

A gladiatrix. She died because someone was a sore loser. She was actually born of a god.

Luron Timerius

Some other dead guy I dunno

Doctor Kaja Lorrden

An undead scientist.

Zachariah Shaw

There are actually two Zachs. One is his ghost, the other is his zombie.

Laura Scourge

A punk-rock demon albino girl. With brown hair. And a super guitar thing.


A music spirit thing. Made up of entirely music and colors and taste and stuff.

Kargrek Strongarm

A barbarian dude.

Scott Williams

A man who, because of an experimental medical treatment, randomly jumps forward or backward in time whenever his heart rate goes up.

    The Great Belligerency 

The Executor

He isolates himself from others, living alone in the void between universes, maintaining it to make it easier for others to pass through, an action for which he is derided. He sets up The Great Belligerency because he is bored.

Cole Aran

A scientist that boasted human's obvious superiority over insects. Anansi took offense and made it so that without bugs, he wouldn't even be able to walk.


A mysterious girl of mysterious mysteriousness. Amy may or may not be her real name.

Phil Girnham

Space marine dude.


A dead goddess, sort of. She created a world and then destroyed it. Her followers haunt her.

Spirit of Fairy Tales

Or 'Soft'. She's a little violent and has a skewed vision of justice.


An extreme environmentalist.

Vandrel Reinhardt

Tyrant guy or something I dunno.


The god of balance.

Season Three

    The Grand Battle (Season 3) 

The Fool

Used to be one of the Gentlemen in the original Grand Battle. He did it because he was totally bored. Which, oddly enough, seems to be a common reason with making these things.

Dr. Tengeri Nyoka

A Leviath who is also a scientist who is also a cyborg. She has some sort of telekinesis thing going on that allows her to carry around a bubble of water with her always so that she won't, oh you know, die or something.

Murdoch Miles

A Varalica, which here, translates to a glowy human thing. Used to be a (human) magician, with the slight-of-hand and all, but wanted more power and got it from the Broken Lady. All he had to do was kill loads of people, which he now regrets.

Benjamin Jetsam

'Jetsam' sort of describes him well. Sort of. A being that doesn't really have a form any longer and is kept alive by some guy or something. This guy also forces him to randomly teleport to a bunch of different universes and worlds and crap. He really has been stripped to his essence and only takes form as whatever happens to live there, being made up of whatever happens to be nearby.

Tor Kajan

A Telpori-Hal, which is a humanoid (usually) alien that is quite like a phoenix. Meaning that every once in a while he combusts and comes out of the fire a new person. He doesn't exactly like humans.

Saint Scofflaw

An eeeeeeevil genius intent on TAKING OVER THE WORLD! He claims to hear law as music and is so disillusioned with the current law that he aims to compose an entirely new one. One that sounds good.


A Deinonychus (this species is actually real though it is doubtful that dinosaurs can actually talk) shaman. He's feathery and stuff.

Velobo Calidad (aka 2106062)

A Plazmuth. He's a green cube thing genetically engineered for the entertainment of others. He's supposed to go out in a death arena and die in some entertaining way, but instead he came out intelligent and managed to put a stop to all this death course nonsense. For at least a few seconds.

TinTen Naamxe and Huebert Henderson

An odd coupling of a beefy, strong human and a fragile, smarter, squid thing. (Meipi, to be specific.) One makes weapons, the other uses them in a possibly destructive way. Together, they are actually two people, though they just count as one contestant.

  • Brains and Brawn: Tin Ten's the brains, Huebert the brawn.
  • Dumb Muscle: Cheerfully subverted by Huebert himself, who occasionally jokes about his own modest intellect.
  • Genius Bruiser:If taken as a gestalt entity (not to be confused with a Gestalt entity)
  • Great White Hunter: Huebert spent most of his life doing this, and Tin Ten dabbles (being more of a Pretty Good Salmon Hunter)
  • Homeless Hero: The pair spend several years previous to their entry into the battle flying through space, fighting an evil duchess.
  • The Gunslinger: Both of the Vaporizer variety. Huebert's favorite BFG in particular.
  • Neutral Good: Well, Huebert is. Tin Ten's more Lawful Good.
  • Science Hero: And an Action Hero too.
  • World's Strongest Man: Huebert lives in a time where cybernetics and genetic engineering are common, spent most of his life living in the wild, and has a super-genius scientist from the most technologically-advanced planet in the sector for a best friend. Dude's got guns.

    The Spectacular Exhibition 

The Counselor

A Grandmaster chick who thinks that Grand Battles will help contestants get over their issues. This is insane and stupid.

Crepitans Bloodbark

A large walking tree with spikes and who is also a dark magician shaman sort of thing. His problem is that he is uppity and has a superiority complex or something.

Chaotic Evil: Like you wouldn't believe.The Cynic: An especially brutal take on the archetype

Norman Randall Pollet

Religious dude who has family issues. His brother's ghost may or may not be haunting him.


A sort of cyborg person woman who got run over by a train? Some mad scientist dude fixed her up and then some and I can't think of anything funny here.

Brooklyn Taylor





Big strong tough guy raawr. He has this strong wolf skin pelt thing that is impenetrable perhaps. He possibly hypnotizes people with his manly charms.


A-A-R-D-V-A-R-K. With light-based powers. At its strongest it does that thing like what happens in that Indiana Jones movie that I never watched Ark of the Covenant, I think?

Gepetto Morti

Puppeteer accompanied by puppets. Puppets are creepy, especially when alive. He controls souls or something like that.

    The Relentless Slaughter 

The Tormentor

A big meanie.


A-R-M-A-D-I-L-L-O. Of the Saturday morning cartoon variety. Oddly enough, wears pants but no shirt, which is sort of the opposite of how most cartoon characters are dressed.


This diseased guy, part of some weird bacteria colony called the Oracle. He's a scout. But also infected. Also happy. But doesn't like doctors.

Samael Corson

Demon who is forced into human form. Because of some other demon's mistake, he has to reincarnate over and over. He may or may not follow Hinduism. Or Buddhism. Also, he has fruit powers. Also powers that are supposed to be related to Greed but not really.


Big bad alien with a possible inferiority complex. Follows some weird caste system where the most important and powerful one in society is considered God-Emperor. So many weapons. So much religion.

Dorin, Shik'skara, and guests

A sacrifice sort of gone wrong because it was interrupted. Dorin has some guardian thing and also is now a doorway for gods and stuff. This may be painful.

Lieutenant Matthew Zimmer

Magical lucky alchemist soldier guy?

Martin Holden

Android dude with memory issues. Has penguins on his boxers.


Big spider storyteller thing. All about remembering stories. But is also a spider, which is scary.

    Petty Squabble 

The Charlatan

Is he smiling behind his mask? I dunno. It makes him look so friendly. He's apparently not that good at being nosy.

The Broderburgs

A family in an RV. They have a baby. Family drama will probably ensue during a battle to the death. "Dad, you don't understand, I love him!"

John Smith

Is that his real name? Nobody knows! Probably not. What kind of name is John Smith? Highly suspect. His power is exploding or something. He doesn't want to.

Yanis Carnea

A goddess of doorknobs and locks. She's very creative with her domain. Also, long-ass fingernails. This is highly important.

Gamehost 6

Gamehost. Six doesn't refer to the number of gamehosts there's been. Maybe not, anyways. It's his head. His head is six. Sided. Dice. He's a robot with a dice-head. Six. Six-sided. That's what he is.

Parsley Krose

A demon-hunter who attacks with bread by turning things into bread and thinks he's on some sort of hallucinogen or demon-high or something. Demons.

Nancy Little

A 20s police secretary. Flappers? Flappers are cool. She's not a flapper. She's very lucky. She has a typewriter. This is extremely important.


A robot who serves as an envoy because that's his name. The council orders him around and thinks he should do this. No, he should do this. Well come on guys, he can't do both things. Agree or something.

Ashley Hayden

Ashley is not a boy's name. Good thing he's half-girl. Part-girl? Mentally-partly-girl. He's both genders, okay.

    The Glorious Championship 

The Hedonist

A powerful genie. Not exactly "all there".

Gabe Farrell

Used to work as a janitor for a research facility, but in an accident ended up contaminated with a chemical that allows him to turn his hand into any power tool.
  • Shapeshifter Weapon
  • Unwitting Pawn: Is essentially a ping-pong ball going back and forth between The Convolution and Etiyr. Currently, he's on Etiyr's side of the table.
  • Robo Ship: with Etiyr. It's weird. invoked

"Lucky" VII

A planet-sized spaceship designed to escape the Big Crunch. Contains one-tenth of its home universe. Has been shrunk down to the size of a beach ball for fairness.

Cailean Lachlan/Gaurinn

Cailean is a soldier "blessed" by the Goddess of Mercy, meaning that any pain he inflicts on someone else goes right back to him. Gaurinn is a bio-engineered Not Quite A Centipede who can store and release electricity at will, but is pretty fragile. They fight crime are sewn together by The Tormentor. Later Cailean becomes a time-challenged zombie, or something. He's much happier about this than you'd think.
  • Blessed with Suck - Oh, Cailean.
  • Body Horror: Cail's arm and spine get ripped out and replaced with a giant sentient insect, who didn't exactly enjoy the process either. They're coping with it remarkably well. Once Cailean gets zombified this becomes an all-over thing.
  • Deadpan Snarker - Gaurinn
  • Only Sane Man - Gaurinn often seems to play this role.
  • Shock and Awe - Gaurinn

Elimine Fraze

A trombone player/adventurer with psychic powers and a cat made of shadows.

Quantos Xodarap

A time-traveling cyborg guy.


A robot thing that generates electromagnetic fields to manipulate pieces of metal. Its core, and most important piece, is a red sphere at the center.

The Convolution

A collection of ideas that influence cultural patterns, which take the form of a purple badge thing.


A demon sealed in a typewriter, who communicates by... typing. The longer someone spends near him, the more they fall under his thrall.

    The Vivacious Deadlock 

The Spectator

An extradimensional artiste with a penchant for Body Horror; her canvas is the flesh, and (rather more literally), her tower is eyeballs. She started her battle so it could serve as her muse. Has a nebulous but friendly relationship with the Tormentor and a sassy one with her assistant.

Sir Cedric, son of Sigmund

Sir Cedric is the Grand-Battle-Specific trope of the Bearded Swordsman, played totally straight and self-aware. He is a big, buff Norseman with a flaming sword and a bit of a complex from living so long in the shadow of his father. Could probably seduce your pants off.


Merrifield is a genetic abomination arising from some questionable organ-cloning practices. She can control her own body, and anyone else's, with unnatural precision. Will probably end up forcing everyone around her to give birth and/or spontaneously combust.

Dr. Melissa Harmon

A hard-nosed career scientist whose work with alternate dimensions was reaching fruition just as she was stolen away to fight a bunch of other people from alternate dimensions. Won "Most Likely to Have a Thematically Appropriate Escape Attempt GBs 2011".


A shadowy being with a large gear protruding from his back. Klendel is manipulative, anarchistic, and likes long walks on the beach after a hard day of collapsing mighty empires. Was never known as Pickbot. Ever.

Ivan Norst

Ivan is a hybrid of the human and Autian species; he has powerful tremorsense but poor vision, and is whip-smart both strategically and mathematically. Can control magnetic fields a bit.


Nalzaki is actually Razaran, Nalyg, and Kanpeki, three dragonlike creatures who were fused together to rule their world as the Ninth Kryesan. They can shapeshift their limbs with high precision and possess a bit of telepathy. A real one-character argument.

Cascala bint Ondun al-Bellizhi

Cascala is nearly unique among battlers in that she had advance knowledge of the Grand Battle she was entered in before it happened; the magical empire of Bellizhi was warned in a vision that one of their own would be in such a battle, and it spent Cascala's whole life preparing her for it. She is a powerful water mage who specializes in weather manipulation. Takes things very seriously.

  • Ice Queen: With real potential to become a more literal one.
  • Lawful Neutral
  • Making a Splash
  • Messianic Archetype: Surprising, considering her first act in the battle was to drown a man in his friend's blood, but Cascala is simply doing what has to be done to save her people.
  • Person of Mass Destruction: There's a reason a woman who was groomed to be the ultimate magical weapon chose something as innocuous-sounding as "weather" as her primary study. It makes sense when you stop thinking "partly cloudy" and start thinking "hurricane".

Empress Phere

A paranoid monarch with a literally all-seeing eye, Phere is a competent wizard and a ruthless despot. She uses her Hollow eye to spy on who- and whatever she pleases. Not very polite.

    The Wretched Rite 

Barabbas Poe

Not the Grandmaster of this battle, per se, he's still its guiding force; he's some kind of immortal human or something, and he uses The Wordsmith's writings to lead him to the calamitous event to come. He's very mysterious and knowledgeable and et-cetera. Could probably be called stodgy.

The Unborn

The actual Grandmaster of this battle, The Unborn seems to have been unknowingly created by the collective meddling and carelessness of the other Grandmasters. Since it was born of the ritual of Grand Battling, that's what it intends to do. Apparently the way its battle goes will have Dire Consequences™ for the multiverse.

Nempelio Poran kala-Sun

Nempelio is a mouse and also a bard. And also he can fly. Pretty typical "boasting false hero" backstory and personality. He can make illusions and has a tiny harp!

Vera Hawthorne (and Alice Mason too)

Vera (and Alice) come from a race that can read fate. They were fated to be enemies, and Alice was to die at Vera's hand. When Vera got abducted into this battle, fate got pissed off and sent Alice too. Vera has pretty competent combat abilities; Alice is lame and sucks.

Olivia Reindana

Olivia was a scientist on an expedition to the Amazon; she ended up parasitized by a semi-sentient plant, and has been gradually going crazy and gaining superpowers.

Fiorella Gucci

Fiorella is the current Anthropomorphic Personification of Human High Fashion. She is very catty and fashionable, and she is way prettier than you.

Malus mancinella

M. mancinella (or Emmy-M as it goes by when spinning) is a very confused young nature spirit inhabiting an acidic apple tree. It usually takes the shape of a woody panther and has fruitikinesis.


Alluvion is the spirit of a small river, brought into existence by the collective belief of the marine life that inhabited said river. It has some water powers and is rather uncultured.

Adelaide Margaret Sheats

Adelaide is a rusalka, which is like a freaky zombie but soggier. She can teleport between water sources and likes to eat people.

Taelia Omanguard and The Omen

Taelia is a young woman, trained to fight but inexperienced in actual combat. She was supposed to guard the prison of an ineffable evil called The Omen, but was tricked and The Omen is now contained in her.

    The Fearsome Encounter 

The Apprentice

Grandmaster of the battle and apprentice of the Controller. Kinda smug and self-assured. Possibly not really that competent.

Augustus and Azungrada

One is a pirate-priest, one is a snake with a name that sounds like cheese. Together they fight heathen crime!

Cepra Samedi

A spider woman with a purple hand that can turn people into silver and also she's an assassin or something


Giant leech scientist WITH A PASSION FOR SCIENCE.


IT'S A BOOK. You read it. It doesn't run on electricity because it's a book, jackass. Also there's a person inside it.

Mr. Saturday

Some guy who's dead and something about the Wild West, maybe, like that one time in Back to the Future III.


A type of government that is run by birds and they don't decide on anything also the politicians are all crooks and not politicians at all.

Pope Triumphian



A werewolf or something.

The Viscount

Not an actual character.


    The Grand Bachelorette 

Shirley Blackwing

The Director's daughter, and the one for whose affection everyone was to compete for. The fact that she's an anthropomorphic fruit bat has not turned off anybody.

  • The Cameo: A number of other Grand Battle spinoffs have taken place in her home of Blackwing Manor at the same time, so this is pretty much inevitable.
  • Katanas Are Just Better: Her weapon of choice is a stainless-steel katana named Silverbolt.
  • Only Sane Man: She seems to be the only person aware of how utterly ridiculous the typical Grand Whatever lineup is.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: According to her official bio (open "The Girl"), she's allergic to flower pollen, lactose-intolerant, and afflicted with Super Drowning Skills; however, none of these have been used against her... yet.



John Sexlington

(For The Sunset's profile, scroll up to Grand Battle II)

Aaron Smith and Ryan Jones

    The Grand Heist 

The Larcerner



Lethe Avibus

  • The Generic Guy: So much that nobody would recognize her even if she stole from them.

Jack Faldwell

Owen Biss Johnathan


Alfred JTS Nicholas D. "Beat" Shackles

Theresa Wren

Marsha Milligan

    The Grand Tweet 

The Abrupt

Al Langford


Aquarius Solum


Doctor Moira Lain


William Dryfe


    The Great Machine 

The Mechanic

Dr. Lucifer Merikh

Joseph Radd




The Creator/Michael

Tom Williams


Lenzo Emerson

    The Grand Scheme 

The Agent

DJ Ə-itas

Xion of Landfall


Drake Applecore


Sleparst Besierwan


Dukan Eliam

Alicia Devonshire

    The Extreme Error 

The Computer/The Glitch


Ollie the Octopus


"Aunt Jenny"


Alex Bolica


Norman Depluma/Quan

    Mini-Grand 5103 






    The Grand Brawl 

Alex Starr

  • Our Angels Are Different: Alex killed a member of a cult with supernatural powers called Angels, which gave him his power.
  • Bishōnen: He's described as a boy band member, and he's... well... an angel.


A member of a mexican order of Mages who specialize in sealing animal souls into their bodies. He's very lazy, to the point of almost napping in the middle of the Grand Brawl.
  • One-Winged Angel: He has the ability to fuse every one of his wolf souls into his body, making him a wolfman of great power. This, however, has a very short time period in which it can be used, due to it being so power-consuming.
  • Our Werewolves Are Different: Again, his full fusion form.
  • Revolvers Are Just Better: His preferred weapon for his wolf souls.
  • Gratuitous Spanish: All of his attack moves are named in (poorly translated) Spanish.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Loves his naps, but he's also fairly smart and prepared - he grabs a fire extinguisher early on to combat fire-users.


  • What Kind of Lame Power Is Heart, Anyway?: In a game where supernatural powers and being ultra-powerful beings is the norm, Samuel's... a snake with a cool top hat.
  • Hammerspace: His hat acts like this, which is his only 'odd' power.
  • Jerkass: Pretty much, or at least his description says so. He may evolve later on.
  • Nice Hat: His lovely top hat.
  • Badass Normal: No real powers beyond his hat and being a snake. And yet he was judged powerful enough to join the Grand Brawl by his Gentleman.


Quinn Fierhart

  • Mummy: Originally, he was this, and still is, but got rid of the majority of the bandages.
  • The Undead: One of the nicer members.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: Not to the extent of Sandolio's inherent laziness, but he's rather sleepy. Still, he has a pretty good analytical mind, and is far more cautious and thoughtful than people like Dagg.
  • Really 700 Years Old: He's much older than sixteen.
  • Whip It Good: Can use bandages as whips.


  • Dark Is Not Evil: Played straight. He uses darkness and has a dark theme, but he's not evil, even if a bit vicious.
  • Leeroy Jenkins: He's not one for strategy. Not at all.
  • Honor Before Reason: He refuses Sandolio's offer of alliance because of the wolf souls sealed in him.

Venox Dasroq

Katherine Luna


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