Andrew Nicholas Lightfoot
A twenty-two year old Biology major senior at the University of South Florida, a descendant of an extremely old and wealthy family from eastern West Virginia by way of Tidewater. More or less The Leader of the cast, as he has many roles: older brother and guardian of Stephen, boyfriend and protector of Cody, best friend and surrogate brother to Bligh.
- Agent Scully: A firm believer in science, logic, and reason...whose beliefs are turned on their head when he sees what Bligh has become.
- City Mouse: To Bligh's Country Mouse after he moved to Tampa and became more cosmopolitan.
- Friend to Bugs: Fascinated by moths since he was boy, he now has a entomology concentration to his Biology degree, and although he studies insects generally, his special fondness is still for moths.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: Although he does have his Jerkass moments.
- The Professor: He retains most of the information he reads, making him know a little about many things science-related.
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Bligh is constantly telling him to tone down the science jargon he slips into as he explains how and why their bodies are changing.
Bligh Edward Lynch
Twenty-three year old former star quarterback for the high school football team, grandson of the venerated "Pappy" Lynch and Andrew's near-constant companion and best friend from back in Tempest. Confident and proud, he is nonetheless prone to getting his feelings hurt: his Despair Event Horizon at Pappy's death some weeks before the start of the first novel is what sets the rest of the events in motion.
- American Accents: Of the Appalachian variety.
- Badass Beard: A dense chinstrap/Abraham Lincoln style inherited from his grandfather.
- Carpet of Virility: A very delicious Type 1.
- Country Mouse: To Andrew's City Mouse.
- Good Ol' Boy: In both style and substance: he repeatedly becomes outraged at how much Andrew spends on designer clothes after moving to Tampa.
- Grease Monkey: His ability to tune and fix any automobile is such that people are amazed at how good he is. He turns this into a career after he moves to Tampa.
- Hot Blooded Sideburns: the hottest.
- Icy Blue Eyes: Also inherited from his grandfather as a marker of being a descendant of the Dogfolk. They are described as "the color of polar ice-water."
- Long Hair Is Feminine: Subverted. Hard.
- Mr. Fanservice: And how.
- Never Bareheaded: This is partially of his own volition because he loves his Baltimore Ravens cap just that much, but after his transformation, it became a necessity.
- Noiseless Walker: Actually a skill he learned when his grandfather taught him to hunt, it's something he can't really turn off, leading to a few funny scenes where he freaks people out by inadvertently sneaking up on them.
- Preacher's Kid: Or rather grandkid. Although he lost his faith in Christianity (but still deeply convinced of the spiritual and supernatural), he never wanted to disappoint the man who raised him as his own son.
- Raven Hair, Ivory Skin: His skin is naturally paler than Andrew's or Cody's, and his hair is described as being the color of coal.
- Scarily Competent Tracker: Partially part of his natural talents but owing much to the skills his grandfather taught him as a hunter.
- Tall, Dark, and Handsome: As if the entries above didn't give you any indication.
- The Quarterback: Was previously this in high school, and had a promising athletic career, before he really, really screwed up the state championship and lost the game.
- Walking Shirtless Scene: Something he's apparently done since he was a pre-teen. He did it so much that Stephen, who would tag along with some of Andrew and Bligh's adventures, started doing it too.
Dakota "Cody" Jacob Tyree
Nineteen year old, formerly homeless Florida native who Andrew met by complete chance one day almost exactly a year before the start of the first novel at a gas station when his car broke down. Gentle and kind-hearted, he works as hard as he can for Andrew, who he contends did little less than saved his life.
- Bishōnen: He's a cutie, alright.
- Dark and Troubled Past: From the time his mother died until he met Andrew, it was one thing right after the other.
- Farm Boy: Grew up on a strawberry farm in Plant City, Florida, and learned how to care for fruits and other crops from his parents.
- Gosh Dang It to Heck!: The worst things he ever says are basically those three exact words, the reason for which is rooted in his childhood: when he was a boy, his mother urged him not to swear, and as a promise to her, he still never does, even as an adult.
- The Nicknamer: Gives everyone he meets a new name, as a way of bonding with them, as it becomes clear Cody isn't his real name.
- The Pollyanna: Despite (or perhaps because of) the horrific stuff before he met Andrew, and the additionally horrific stuff that happens to him during the novel.
- Sour Supporter: Especially in the first novel, he has to constantly settle things when Bligh and Andrew get too heated with one another, but he only calls them on their bullshit because he genuinely cares for them and their well-being.
- Street Smart: He's shown to be very clever and picks up on things easily, as well as having firsthand knowledge of how the seedier side of Tampa operates.
Stephen Archibald Lightfoot
Andrew's eighteen year old brother who spent most of his life cooped up indoors due to epilepsy and asthma. Although brilliantly smart, he suffers from extremely low self-esteem being a scrawny shadow of his brother. Despite his merrily and sometimes inventively cruel personality, he fiercely loves both Andrew and Bligh, who basically raised him.
- The Alcoholic: Lives in a near-perpetual state of intoxication or at least being buzzed. This is how he wrecked his dad's Mercedes, in fact.
- Annoying Younger Sibling: To Andrew, in spades.
- Big Brother Attraction: A flashback takes us to the day when Andrew moved from Tempest, and Stephen planted a kiss on his cheek before he departed. This is the first tip to the reader that Stephen feels this way.
- Friendless Background: A big aspect of his personality is to glom on to people who are nice to him, because he was mercilessly bullied as a child, partially because...
- Lonely Rich Kid: ...he was this for all of his life.
- Mr. Vice Guy: Is nearly constantly drunk, high, stoned, or on something, makes a sport of throwing Starbucks back at baristas that make his or Cody's drink wrong, and once made a car salesman buy him lunch and take him to a movie before he bought a Cadillac from him. He does this to deal with his own existential self-hatred.
Gustavus "Gus" "Pappy" Simeon Lynch
Bligh's grandfather, a grand old man who ran moonshine in his younger days before being forced to join the Army to clean up his Hellraising behavior. During the Korean War (see below) he experienced a religious awakening, preaching the Bible across a huge stretch of Appalachia and the South. Raised Bligh after his parents' death, and Andrew with the conspicuous absence of Archibald Lightfoot's own parenting.
- Badass Beard: An Abe Lincoln, mentioned as being having become salt and pepper with age.
- Badass Preacher: An expert shot, a Korean War hero, and an keen survivalist.
- Been There, Shaped History: His best friend and comrade was the war hero Ralph E. Pomeroy — he was present for Pomeroy's Heroic Sacrifice, and the whole ordeal made him turn to God and seek a more religiously-centered life.
- Hot Blooded Sideburns: Like his grandson. Usually cool, serene, and fun, but boy, never try to hurt someone he loves...
- Icy Blue Eyes: A trait of all firstborn Lynch men which marks them as descendants of the nearly-extinct Dogfolk.
- Parental Substitute: For Bligh, whose parents died when he was a child in a car crash.
- Real Men Love Jesus: A grand old man and retired soldier who eagerly preaches the Good News.
- Retired Badass: Left behind a career in the military to preach the Word of the Lord in his home region.
Archibald Alexander "Archie" Lightfoot
Andrew and Stephen's father, and the present head of the Lightfoot dynasty. Known to have been a handsome, fun-loving rake in his youth, time, failure, regret — and furtive knowledge of The Masquerade of the novel's universe — have left him a deeply unhappy shell of a man.
- Old Money: Several centuries' worth!
- The Patriarch: For the Lightfoot Dynasty, a surname and legacy that is nearly four-hundred years old.
- Privilege Makes You Evil: There were other factors too — arguably it's a family trait — but yes.
- The Scrooge: Obsessed with making money, more often than not at the expense of others.
- Socialite: Like his wife, used to be one, but the events of "Upriver" (in What A Horrible Night To Have A Curse) and the death of his best friend, Junior Lynch, Bligh's dad put him off the social scene forever.
Andrew's ex-girlfriend who, despite his obvious infatuation with his best friend, Bligh decided to stick around until she finally had enough. As a character, she serves to remind the audience people get hurt when people who are meant to be together fall in love. She stars in the short story "Thy Foot Shall Not Stumble" from the Before Time After collection.
- Go-Getter Girl: Was a theatre star and a cheerleader in high school, now heading down to UNC to follow her ambition of being a congresswoman.