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    Big Lez 

Leslie "Lez" Mackerel

"What the fuck?"

The protagonist. An aggressive, bad-tempered, bitter old man living in Brown Town, Australia. It is revealed towards the end of season one that he is an alien from Kingdom Cum and has been building a spaceship to return to the planet from which he was banished to confront his father.

  • Abusive Parents: To Quentin.
  • Arch-Enemy: to Norton Sparkles.
  • Arch Nemesis Dad: A major plot point is his mission to confront his father, until he learns that his home planet has been destroyed.
  • Ax-Crazy: When he finally gets the chance to fight King Larrinox one-on-one, Lez goes absolutely fucking ballistic and brutalises Larrinox like a screaming savage.
    • Lez seems to grow increasingly unhinged as the series progresses while he stews his hatred for Norton and his father; his disturbingly graphic descriptions of what he would do to Norton tend to make people weary of him.
  • Bad Ass Grandpa: At his age he qualifies.
  • Berserk Button: He has three: Norton, kids and bubbleheads.
  • Broken Aesop: A version of Sassy that Lez meets within his own subconscious attempts to teach Lez that his desire to kill Norton is wrong, and that karma will bite him if he does a bad thing like that. Lez, in his stubborn refusal to let go of his hatred for Norton, just takes it as a message that he can escape karmic punishment if he engineers a situation in which he kills Norton in self-defence.
  • The Bully: Alongside Donny, Lez gives Clarence the most shit.
  • Cain and Abel: His rivalry with Norton.
  • Catchphrase: "What the fuck", "fuck off Quintin", "Mmmmmmm!"
  • Deadpan Snarker: He usually has some dry or blunt comment for any zany situation.
  • Death Glare: Usually directed at either Norton, Clarence or his father.
  • Embarrassing First Name: He doesn’t seem to think so: “Leslie is a sick cunt name.”
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: It's subtle, but although Lez seems to care very little for Quintin he does not like the idea of him moving in with Norton and not continuing the Mackerel name. By the fourth season however, his love for Quintin has truly grown and his disappearance is enough to make him go into full Papa Wolf mode and start the main arc of the season.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Played for Laughs. While in the middle of another rant about how much he hates Norton, Donny mentions how Lez’s vitriol could be construed as homophobia against Norton. Lez quickly backpeddles, making it clear he doesn’t care about Norton’s sexuality... only to immediately go back to calling him a gay cunt.
  • Expy: In many ways, Lez is one to Vegeta from Dragon Ball. Both of them are exiled alien princes from destroyed planets, both are extremely selfish and proud, and both initially hate life on Earth until they come to appreciate it. Some of Jarrad White’s initial sketches of Lez during high school even had Lez (and Norton) wearing Saiyan armour, which can be briefly seen in a flashback to when they both arrived in Australia. Lez even obtains a Super Saiyan-like Ass Pull transformation, complete with golden hair and increased musculature, during his fight against King Larrinox at the end of the series.
  • Fat Bastard: Lez is fat, lazy and petty.
  • Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Or close to zero soul.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: The Choleric.
  • The Hero Dies: Played With. Lez sacrifices his life by nuking Larrinox’s floating island fortress with himself still on it and is lauded as a hero by his friends afterwards, but none of them know that the true reason he did it: he knew his selfish and destructive nature would get the better of him if he lived to become king, and for that reason he knew he had to die.
  • Human Aliens: Lez is a Kingdom Cumian, an alien species indistinguishable from a human externally but much, much more durable than any human would ever dream of being. There are only several known left alive by the start of the series, Lez's family comprising the majority of which.
  • Hypocritical Humor: He denies the existence of Bigfoot despite being best friends with a group of sasquatches.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: It's buried deep down, but Lez has some good in him. Despite usually being a horrible person and hedonistic as all shit, he's determined to save the world from the Choomahs and slowly grows kinder towards Quintin, culminating in wasting no time to save his adopted son when he is kidnapped.
  • Jerkass Woobie: On the rare occasion that Lez inspires any sympathy, it will usually be due to all the terrible things that happen to him.
  • Kick the Dog: After Norton’s death, Clarence has taken his place as Lez’s main target for abuse even though Clarence has directly or indirectly saved Lez’s life numerous times. When Lez tries to infiltrate a cop-infested Browntown, he shoots Clarence for no reason and then blows up his house with Norton’s UFO, knowingly staring at a crippled Clarence as he does it.
  • Killed Off for Real: Lez dies in the finale of the series, “Choomah Island 3: Denouement”.
  • Made of Iron: Lez has gone through a number of horrendous injuries that would kill most people or more accurately, most humans with minimal long-lasting effects.
  • Noodle Incident: Norton refers on more than one occasion to the innocent puppies Lez killed. It is strongly implied that he is lying, but knowing Lez's violent nature, there is a chance that the incident was real.
  • Parental Neglect: He was going to do this to Quintin until he realised that taking in an orphaned baby had financial advantages.
  • Pet the Dog: Eventually ends up getting Quintin an Xbox after all the shit he puts him through...except for any games, of course. As the series progresses, Lez starts treating him better and wastes no time setting off to rescue him. He also gives exactly one half-hearted compliment to Clarence, albeit behind his back.
  • Prince Incognito: He and Norton are the exiled princes of Kingdom Cum.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: Lez is prone to murdering people, enjoys inflicting grievous violence like a kid playing with toys, routinely gets into petty fights with his neighbor and brother that involve structural and scatalogical vandalism... and he has a massive mechanical playset situated in his basement.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Wears a bright pink shirt and baby-blue shorts but still projects an "angry neighbourhood dad" image.
  • Royals Who Actually Do Something: Although considering his Lower-Class Lout attitude, you certainly wouldn't expect him to be a prince.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Norton, his brother and co-crown prince of Kingdom Cum.
  • Skewed Priorities: Larrinox kidnaps Quintin, which pisses Lez off pretty badly, but that doesn't compare to the unforgivable crime of stealing Lez's entire Glendoll collection (including the massive Glenworld basement installation).
  • So Proud of You: After Quintin gets stoned with the sasquatches, he finally admits that he's on the path of becoming a true Mackerel.
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Would be the villain of any other show.
  • Villain Protagonist: Lez is pretty much no better than Norton and he knows it, but he at least cares about his friends and disagrees with all of Norton’s nefarious scheming.


Sassy the Sasquatch

"What you talkin' a-beet, you fuckin' druggo?"

Lez's neighbor and closest friend. He is constantly stoned on countless different drugs, and has a laid-back, friendly personality. He is often the cause of conflicts due to the messes he gets Lez into, usually due to tricking him or other characters into consuming drugs with near-fatal or even fatal side effects. He is the leader of a group of Sasquatches who frequent the Volcano Bong on the outskirts of Brown Town.

  • A Dog Named "Dog"
  • Beyond the Impossible: His ability to acquire drugs wherever he goes (even a desert island!), to consume large amounts of them and to know everyone in the world while being utterly vague all the time.
  • Break Out Character: He is by far the show's most popular character.
  • Catchphrase: He has three: "Whatdyatalkinabeet", "You fuckin' druggo" and "What's going on, mate?"
    • He also has a childish giggle, "Hee-hee."
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: He is constantly stoned, which causes him to register very little of what people are saying and often forget where he is or what he is doing.
  • Cold Turkeys Are Everywhere: He is literally unable to go even a few minutes without drugs.
  • Extreme Omnivore
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: The Phlegmatic.
  • Funny Animal
  • Gargle Blaster: His trippa-snippa, one of the many strange foods he has cooked up and filled with drugs and petrol for his business, "Sassy Foods".
  • Hidden Depths: He knows everyone, as this is a sasquatch ability. He is even shown to be texting Obama at one point, and he’s also familiar with Taipan Pete. He and the other sasquatches also seem to be able to predict the future and casually travel between dimensions.
  • Hypocritical Humor: He calls everyone else "druggos" when he in fact takes more drugs than all of them put together.
  • Insistent Terminology: He insisters that popcorn is pronounced "Popcoin", that the gold guy in Star Wars is R2-D2 and that the little pieces in chess are called "Prawns."
  • Jerkass: He is a much friendlier and pleasanter character than Lez, but he often joins in the mockery of Clarence and tricks people into buying drugs which will almost certainly kill them.
  • Mind Screw: He tends to induce these in Lez with his wraps and cocktails, much to Lez's discomfort.
  • Mushroom Samba: Sassy often sees a vision of a blue caterpillar offering him apple juice and macaroni cheese.
  • The Stoner
  • Token Evil Teammate: While none of the main characters barring Clarence are remotely good people, and Sassy is one of the more outwardly friendly ones at that, Sassy has had some seriously shifty moments throughout the series that call his true allegiances into question.
    • There’s the fact that he carelessly sells lethal drug combos to ordinary humans. He also routinely drugs up his friends, usually by spiking their food and drinks with no warning or consent, purely for his own entertainment. Even a simple glass of water handed to you by Sassy would probably be enough to kill you or at least black you out for a whole night.
    • He has casually hung out with Norton and Cecil in the past, which Lez understandably takes as a personal betrayal when he finds out.
    • When it seems as though he and Donny will be trapped in an acid trip forever while Lez and the others are most in need of their help, Sassy gives a rather sinister laugh.
  • With Friends Like These...: He is the only person who seems to treat Clarence like a friend, but he is cruel to him along with the other characters. He also gets Lez into life-threatening situations often with his vagueness and laid-back attitude to drugs, visits to dangerous islands and other escapades.


Clarence/Dr. C

"Oh, hoovin' schmovin!"

A potato-headed postman, he is hated by all of the other characters, but nonetheless perceives them as his friends. He speaks in a slow, breathless voice and is usually met with a "Fuck off, Clarence" from Lez. In the third season it is revealed that he was an alien scientist who accidentally transformed himself and created the Choomahs in the process through a failed experiment.

  • A Day in the Limelight: There is an extra-long episode in Season Three completely devoted to his life story. Which is impressive for an ascended extra. Not only that, it's the only episode so far where the other characters show the slightest bit of compassion to him (Lez and Donny refer to him as a nice guy).
  • Ascended Extra
  • Butt-Monkey
  • Cassandra Truth: He knows more about the Choomah outbreak than anyone else and holds the secret to their existence, but nobody will listen to him.
  • Catchphrase: "Awwww no", "Oh lord please help me no", "Friendssss!", "Hoovin' Schmovin!"
  • Cerebus Syndrome: How he gradually becomes more and more of a tragic character.
  • Cosmic Plaything: The universe has been brutally abusing Clarence for centuries.
  • Foreshadowing: There is a reason why he is able to calm the Choomahs in the second season finale.
  • Doom Magnet: The creators of the show literally describe Clarence as being a magnet for misbegotten hatred; whenever something bad happens in the universe and no one is there to take the blame, that hatred floats away and instead gets given to Clarence. Poor guy.
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: The Melancholic.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: In "Choomah Island 2", he takes to the core of the titular island when it is revealed to be a kaiju-esque choomah and sets off a bomb to kill it. For some unexplained reason, Lez finds him regrowing in his yard and unearths him several episodes later.
  • Hidden Depths: He is easily the most intelligent character, a thing for which he receives no acknowledgment, and the accidental creator of the choomahs.
  • Human Alien: Just like Lez and Norton, he was an upper-class native of Kingdom Cum banished to Earth.
  • Made of Iron: The abuse and injuries he suffers are horrendous even by the show's standards, and he somehow manages to recover every time. Even nuking himself won't take him down for good.
  • Nice Guy: He is quite literally the only character to be entirely good and routinely nice to everybody else, and will sacrifice his money and even his life if necessary to save the world or to “feed the orphans”/“save the orangutans”. Of course, no one is willing to acknowledge it except for fellow Butt-Monkey Scruffy.
  • No Respect Guy: Nobody likes Clarence, regardless of what good he does for others.
    • Although when Clarence finally lashes back out against Donny after years of abuse in the series finale, Donny admits Clarence has earned his respect.
  • Noodle Incident: We never find out how he survived after Lez and his friends left him to die at the hands of the Choomahs, quite simply because Lez wasn't interested. It was an early hint towards him being immortal.
  • Planimal: Clarence has weird, dull olive skin and a head shaped like a potato that earns him a lot of mockery, and has been shown to have some floral biology. After his death, he is resurrected by literally growing like a potato in Lez's yard and having one of his fingers sprout into a small, kush-like plant.
  • Tin Man: The backstory in Season 3 reveals that he used to be a scientist on Kingdom Cum before he was transformed by an experiment, during which time he was quite cold, emotionally suppressed and ungrateful for all the love he got from the people around him until he became the way he is today.
  • Walking Spoiler: From Potadahead onwards, Clarence suddenly becomes extremely relevant to the plot.
  • Was Once a Man: In the same experiment that ended up creating the choomahs, Clarence was mutated into the potato-headed freak everyone knows him as and was banished to Earth.
  • The Woobie


Donny the Dealer

"Mate, I'm Donny the Dealer, give us forty-eight hours."

Another sasquatch whose beard and bald head make him resemble an old man, he is green in color and runs a small pawnshop where he specializes in conning people out of their money and selling drugs. He is known for his rasping chuckle.

  • Ascended Extra: Originally appearing as a minor supporting character only seen alongside the other sasquatches, Donny quickly grew in prominence throughout the series until he became just as significant as Sassy. He‘s officially a main character from Season 3 onwards.
  • Borrowed Catchphrase: He does Sassy's "whadaytalkinabeet" at a couple points.
  • The Bully: He’s pretty abusive in his treatment of his only employee/shitkicker, Clarence, as he forces him to do all sorts of menial tasks while berating him all the while. He occasionally kidnaps Clarence and uses him as a living target for his shooting range at the Lantana Bush, but while Clarence’s insane Healing Factor makes any injury he sustains trivial, Donny always conveniently ignores Clarence’s objections that he actually does feel pain whenever he’s shot.
    • As shown in a flashback, Donny was originally kind to Clarence and helped him get back on his feet, but Donny has clearly been taking advantage of Clarence’s Extreme Doormat personality for years since.
  • Decomposite Character: Donny was originally an early concept design of Sassy, but Jarrad and the guys liked his design so much that they made him a separate character from Sassy.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: It took quite a while for Donny to reach his current characterisation — the earlier seasons pretty much had him have a different voice and personality per episode (for a while he had a nerdy lateral lisp for some reason).
  • Extreme Omnivore: Almost as much so as Sassy.
  • Funny Animal: Although he exhibits so many human qualities it's hard to view him as one.
  • Jack-of-All-Trades: Donny is a merchant of a wide variety or products at his pawn-shop, including medication, weed, assorted narcotics, weapons, bongs, electric guitars and a device called the Stealthy Fucker.
  • Jerkass: Not as much as Lez, but enough to qualify.
  • The Stoner: Like Sassy, he frequents the Volcano Bong.
  • Those Two Guys: With Wayne-O. Less so after Season 3 as he now interacts with the rest of the cast much more.


Quintin Mackerel

"Holy shit, dad!"

Lez's son whom he found as a baby on his doorstep. Lez would have abandoned the child if it hadn't been for the financial benefits of taking him in. Quintin is subjected to and exasperated by a lot of the mental shit that goes on around Brown Town. He spent most of his childhood wanting an Xbox, which Lez eventually got him, although the problems didn't end there.

  • Abusive Parents: Lez seems to care very little for Quintin's well-being, and even after he grows to truly care about him he still treats him like shit most of the time.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Not at all surprising given how he's stuck in the middle of the bunch of nutjobs that fill the entirety of Brown Town.
  • Heartwarming Orphan: When he learns he was adopted.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Lez basically forces Quintin to live in near-squalor because of his stubborn frugalness.
  • Only Sane Man: Quintin wants nothing to do with the crazy horseshit that plagues his hometown and is miles more responsible than his father (and most of the characters in the show) will ever be. After Lez's death, Quintin has apparently been self-sustaining for around two years and he's barely even a teenager at this point.
  • Parental Substitute: He sees Norton as this for a while, until he realizes that he actually prefers Lez.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: Finally earns his father's respect when he is caught smoking weed with the sasquatches.

    Mike Nolan 

Mike Nolan

"Fuck me sideways, he fucking got right in there didn't he?"

Also known as "Noelsie", he is an engineer friend of Lez who went missing for some time on Choomah Island, but later aided in the battles that followed. Mike is also the star of the prequel, The Mike Nolan Show.

  • The Ace
  • A Day in the Limelight: He has his own episode devoted to his campaign video in "Yeah, Nah, Mate", which later got expanded into a whole spin-off series.
  • Ascended Extra: Originally a minor character, Mike Nolan's popularity quickly got him promoted to being one of Lez's True Companions.
  • Ax-Crazy: He gets out of a DUI inspection by basically bullying the cop into submission.
  • Badass Normal: Despite being only human, he seems to be just as dangerous as any Kingdom Cumian. He even has the privilege of being the only human member of the Secret Sasquatch Society because he’s just that skitz.
  • Berserk Button: Cops. So much so that he has a tattoo that reads “Fuck Cops” across his chest.
  • Breakout Character: Went on to star of his own spin-off series.
  • Catchphrase: "I'll tell you that much", "Yeah, nah, mate".
  • Guttural Growler: Has a ridiculously deep, gravelly voice, and it tends to drop several octaves further whenever he’s genuinely pissed off.
  • Hypocritical Humour: One of his main grievances against the Australian police is their use of guns, yet Nolan is probably the biggest gun-nut of all the main cast.
  • Jack-of-All-Trades: He is an engineer, but also has political aspirations, works in postage and as a construction driver, is good at deadpan stand-up comedy, is a skilled gambler, bricklayer, bus-stop builder, lollipop man, roadside construction, maintenance at theme parks, council worker and can kill things.
  • Rated M for Manly: The stereotypical Australian ideal of a hard-working, no-nonsense man's man.
  • Smoking Is Cool: He constantly smokes to re-enforce his tough guy status, and refuses to exhale for fear of missing out on some of the smoke.
  • Tattooed Crook: Proudly wears a giant tattoo that reads "FUCK COPS" across his chest, and he regularly transports Class-A narcotics across the Pacific.
  • Tempting Fate: A flashback set before the first "Choomah Island" special sees him joking to Donny about taking a flight to Thailand for a "rip-start". Donny comments that he hopes Noelsie doesn’t crash-land and find himself stranded on some fuckin’ weird island, and they both laugh it off... Yeah, about that...



"Oh ye, ye, ya fucked it... ya fucked it."

A character indistinguishable from Donnie apart from being grey instead of green and using a walking stick.

  • A Day in the Limelight: “Plac-Key” gives him his first individual scenes away from the rest of the sasquatches, and shows him to be wise and insightful but also quite intimidating and mysterious.
  • Funny Animal: Of the sasquatch variety.
  • Sir Swearsalot: Less aggressively so than Owly, but Wayne-O does use a lightly-spoken “fuck” or “fucken” as a filler for every other sentence.
  • The Stoner
  • Those Two Guys: With Donnie.



"I'm a fucking owl, for fuck's sakes!"

An incredible bad-tempered owl who hangs out with the Sasquatches and resents getting caught up in their adventures.

  • A Dog Named "Dog"
  • Commuting on a Bus: Owly is mostly absent from Season 4 as he’s off migrating and finding mates in the Canary Islands, though we hear him have a phone conversation with Donny. He makes a surprise comeback at the end of the final episode.
  • Funny Animal
  • The Load: As an owl with no opposable fingers and therefore incapable of wielding a gun, he admits that he’s totally useless in a firefight, but he comes along to Choomah Island anyway for shits and giggles.
  • Sir Swearsalot: He seems to punctuate every second word with "fuck."
  • Team Pet: Owly is one for the sasquatches.
  • The Napoleon



"Uhhh, I miss my shoes..."

A wooly white sasquatch who often feels like the others gang up on him, mostly due to him always having to be the one who fills up the Volcano Bong.

  • Blinding Bangs: Perhaps his most noticeable feature.
  • Butt-Monkey: Less so than Clarence, but he is the butt monkey of the sasquatch group.
  • Catchphrase: “D’aaawwww... Dunno what’s goin’ on.”
  • Funny Animal
  • Ignored Expert: Chances are if the other sasquatches say something ridiculously untrue, Scruffy’s gonna try to call them out on it only to get shot down.
  • Know-Nothing Know-It-All: Scruffy likes to think he’s more rationally-minded than the other sasquatches, but his rambling monologues about science and conspiracy theories rarely make any actual sense.
  • The Stoner

    Warning Guy 

Ellis Warnington

"Everyone, out of the water! There be a fucking shark!"

A hardcore Scotsman with a talent for killing dangerous shit.

  • Animal Nemesis: The Kraken.
  • Ax-Crazy: What else can you call someone whose first reaction to a shark attack is to dive into the water and stab it to death?
  • Bash Brothers: More like Bash Cousins, but he and Sergio make a formidable duo whenever they’re seen together.
  • Berserk Button: He really hates sharks, and dangerous sea creatures in general.
  • Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": In this case, everyone calls him "Warning guy."
  • Human Aliens: He’s secretly a Kingdom Cumian like Lez and possesses even greater superpowers which explains his extreme feats of badassery throughout the series.
  • Killed Off for Real: The Kraken finally catches up to him in the Season 4 finale, though it is possible that he survived the attack...
  • Meaningful Name: His surname sounds like his nickname, which comes from him showing up to deliver warnings or help out in battle.
  • Violent Glaswegian

    Sergio Warnington 

Sergio Warnington

"As you may not know, I'm a big game hunter."

A man Lez meets in prison who holds valuable information about the Choomahs.

  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He is the only person to befriend Clarence, but implies that he is only doing it to gather information.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Sergio can be seen doing 360-no-scopes (jumping and spinning around with a sniper rifle like a first-person shooter game player) in the middle of a skirmish with the Choomahs.
  • Face of a Thug: He's a lot more friendly than his usual facial expressions imply.
  • Great White Hunter: His main motivation for fighting the Choomah infestations is simply for the thrill of the hunt.
  • Human Aliens: As his cousin Ellis is a Kingdom Cumian, it can be deduced that Sergio is at least partly alien himself, but this has never been confirmed.
  • Put on a Bus: Sergio went for a short bus ride for the duration of Season 3 before being brought back in "Choomah Island 2", but since then he has never been seen or mentioned.
  • The Stoner: Mainly in "Choomah Island 2", where he talks non-stop about drugs and threatens to jeopardise the entire mission by deciding to smoke a strong hash noodle before piloting the plane carrying the group to the island.



Norton Sparckles

"You fucking coward."

Lez's neighbor and nemesis. The two have been at war for years, with their fights ranging from extreme physical fights which neither of them can win due to both of their superhuman strength, shitting in each other's mailboxes and destroying each other's property.

  • Ambiguously Gay: Lez often accuses Norton of being gay, as he likes flowers and pink cakes and things like that.
  • Arch-Enemy: To Lez, of course.
  • Berserk Button: "You destroyed my flowers. I sawr it."
  • Butt-Monkey
  • Cain and Abel: It is revealed in season one that he and Lez are brothers who are at war because they were both banished from Kingdom Cum after fighting to inherit the planet. After decades of on and off fights, Lez finally kills him in "Choomah Island 2".
  • Four-Temperament Ensemble: The Sanguine.
  • Human Aliens: He and Lez are revealed to be this, hence their superhuman strength.
  • Killed Off for Real: Apparently so, as of Choomah Island 2.
  • Made of Iron: Just like Lez, he routinely survives injuries that no living thing ever should. This can be attributed to being a Kingdom Cumian.
  • Nice Guy: Although the lengths he goes to to get back at Lez are pretty extreme, he genuinely cares about Quintin and is a much nicer person than Lez.
  • Parental Substitute: He becomes this to Quentin for a while when the boy gets sick of Lez's cruelty. Quentin eventually ditches him as he becomes bored by Norton and resolves that Lez is just cooler.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: He may be a hell of a lot nicer than Lez, but when it comes to immature vengeance against his brother, he's just as bad as him.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Has a girlish haircut and dresses quite effeminately, but he can throw down against his equally gaudy brother when he needs to.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Lez.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: Norton dies a shockingly brutal death at Lez's hands involving being shot in the torso multiple times, shoved off a cliff and impaled on a rock, and eventually sinking into the ocean. Purely in self-defence on Lez’s part, of course.
  • Viewer Gender Confusion: Surprisingly, he caused this with some viewers in early episodes.



Savage yellow creatures that slightly resemble Homer Simpson. The Choomahs are the most recurring enemies in the series and create destruction wherever they go.

  • Bizarre Alien Biology: Choomahs are described as being like an organic viral infection that spawn and multiply rapidly, which is why they’re so dangerous. They can also survive in the vacuum of space.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Believe it or not, but they do collectively turn over a new leaf at the very end of the series after evolving enough to understand the wrongness of their actions. They bid farewell to their creator Clarence and fly off to the stars in search of a new planet to peacefully colonise.
  • Made of Plasticine: While deadly in numbers, individual Choomahs are easily gored, brutalised and blown apart by the main characters in hilariously over-the-top ways. Even one of Sassy's drug-laced Trippa Snippas can cause a Choomah's head to messily erupt.
  • Screaming Warrior: The Choomahs are instantly recognisable for their extremely loud battle cries.
  • The Virus


Cecil the Sasquatch

"I'm the bad guy. That's what we do. We fuck shit up! Usually in a city."

A gorilla-like sasquatch who rules Choomah Island and the entire race of Choomahs, or "yellow things." He is responsible for launching an attack on Brown Town, being party to the destruction of Kingdom Cum and making numerous attempts on the lives of Lez and co. It is revealed that he has been chosen to be next in line by Lez's father after Lez and Norton disappointed him.

  • Bullying a Dragon: Dismisses Warning Guy as “nothing but a fuckin’ fisherman”, but quickly regrets those words when Ellis reveals his true heritage...
  • Card-Carrying Villain
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Gets the absolute snot beaten out of him by a powered-up Warning Guy and then shot through the shoulder by Sergio. Warning Guy finishes the deal by sneaking up behind him and cutting his throat wide open with a fish knife.
  • Embarrassing First Name: Lez is quick to point out what a lame name Cecil has for an arch-villain.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Bumblebrutus was a close friend, and this is one of the main reasons Cecil has sworn to destroy Lez.
  • For the Evulz: He makes it quite clearly that he has no other purpose for attacking everyone.
  • Go-Karting with Bowser: Perhaps because he is a Saquatch, the other sasquatches seem to hang out with him and have definitely been to the island before. Norton also knows him through Larrinox.
  • Killer Gorilla
  • Running Gag: He’s always getting mistaken for King Kong.

    King Larrinox 

King Larrinox

"It's my kingdom, not yours! Now get the fuck away from my ship, you fat fucker!"

The father of Lez and Norton and the ruler of Kingdom Cum. Physically, he resembles Thor.

  • Arch Nemesis Dad: If Lez’s grudge against Norton seemed disturbingly intense, the amount of seething hatred he bears towards his father is practically volcanic in comparison. After Larrinox finds out that Lez killed Norton, the sentiment becomes well and truly mutual.
  • Beard of Evil
  • Bigger Bad: He is in league with Cecil and destroyed his own planet so as to take over Earth and make Cecil his true heir.
  • Fiery Redhead: Unlike his sons.
  • Human Aliens
  • I Have No Son!: He disowns both of his sons for their drunken escapades and the destruction they caused. To Lez's anger, though, it appears that Norton seems to be at least partly in cahoots with him still.
  • No Indoor Voice
  • Outliving One's Offspring: Lez is the one to reveal his murder of Norton to their father, who is unable to believe it at first.
  • Violent Glaswegian: He has a Scottish accent.

    The Policeman of Browntown 

The Policeman of Browntown

"Save your breath, you feathered fuck."

An extremely corrupt and violent cop that Lez briefly befriends. He has many identical doppelgängers around Browntown.

  • Ax-Crazy
  • Cool Shades: He is never seen without them.
  • Dirty Cop: He helps Lez vandalize Norton's house and guns down people that annoy him.
  • Jack-of-All-Trades: At least in the security/law enforcement business. He is seen to arrest people, guard prisoners, do interrogations and bounce at a night-club.
  • Jerkass
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: One of the cops dishes out a horrendous one to Clarence during a raid on Browntown, and each time Clarence makes a bad joke at his own expense the cop only continues to punch him harder and faster.
  • Robotic Reveal: Lez finds out in Norton’s house that all of the policemen are identical android soldiers created by King Larrinox. Their exact purpose on Earth is left unexplained, though it can be inferred that they were designed to serve Larrinox and Glen’s regime for when they take over Earth as they become an overtly antagonistic force after Lez discovers their true nature.

    Bumble Brutus 

Bumble Brutus

"My name is Bumble Brutus!"

An extremely powerful Choomah who resembles a giant, muscular bee. He is the best friend of Cecil.




”Awwwww, they bit off my hands!”

A seemingly immortal bystander who constantly finds himself injured by Choomahs, but he survives every attack no matter how severe.

  • Chekhov's Gunman: Appears in a helicopter to save Nolan and the sasquatches from the exploding Choomah Island. How he got the chopper and why he would go to the effort to save some strangers is never questioned.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: It’s apparent that years of surviving wounds no person should ever be able to recover from has badly affected his mental processes, as his only dialogue consists entirely of random non-sequiturs, bizarre malapropisms and bouts of agonising screaming.
  • Meaningful Name: His name is a reversal of “undead”.

    Charles Charlington 

Charles Charlington

An elderly, sophisticated narrator who appears in the second season.


Sassy (Lez’s Subconscious)

”What’s the first thing you do every morning? You wake up.”

When Lez gets lost in the woods of Choomah Island, he smokes Sassy’s special doob and encounters a serene, angelic incarnation of Sassy within his mindscape.

  • Medium Awareness: While all the characters can break the 4th wall, this Sassy shows Lez the Microsoft Paint interface in which the show is drawn and animated, allowing Lez to see outside the box for the first time and take control of his destiny.
  • Thou Shalt Not Kill: Attempts to teach Lez that killing Norton would not bring him true happiness and that karma would just come back to bite him if he did. He’s clearly disappointed when Lez keeps insisting that the only way he can be happy is if he’s in a world without Norton. The real Sassy even shares the sentiment when he finds out Lez did the deed.
  • Wise Tree: “Wise Sasquatch Who Smokes Tree” would probably be more accurate. This Sassy is much wiser and more moral than his physical counterpart, and gives Lez spiritual advice on how to achieve enlightenment.

    Crazy Steve 

Crazy Steve

”Ffffucken Noelsieeeee, how ya goin’ cunt?”

A reputable old friend of Mike Nolan’s who works in construction. Has so far only appeared in Mike Nolan-centred episodes.

  • Ascended Extra: Has an expanded role in "Mike Nolan's Long Weekend" thanks to the popularity stemming from his One-Scene Wonder in the first season.
  • Cool Old Guy: Rivals his ‘apprentice’ Noelsie in terms of sheer coolness, and is apparently a Living Legend around Brown Town.
  • Helium Speech: Has a rather nasally, high-pitched voice for a man of his age and stature, which Noelsie actually points out as sounding like a cockatiel.
  • The Obi-Wan: He is one to Noelsie, as he taught him his carefree philosophy and all the skills he knows.
  • Rated M for Manly: Same as Nolan.
  • The Stoner: He’s retired from that lifestyle mostly, but it only takes some mild goading from Noelsie to convince him to start chugging a bong and coke on camera.

    Taipan Pete 

Taipan Pete

”I’ve been waiting for you...”

A mysterious bearded fella Lez encounters while wandering the deserts in Season 4. Lez narrates the story of the season to him while they both wait for a train to North Queensland.

  • Identical Stranger: Bears a strong resemblance to Mike Nolan’s mate Crazy Steve, leading many to mistakenly conclude that the two were one and the same.
  • Kid from the Future: Taipan Pete is all but stated to be Quintin from an alternate future timeline in which Lez became king after killing Larrinox and wrought havoc upon the Earth. Pete can apparently only communicate to the "real" timeline through drug-induced hallucinations, as Sassy and Donny both know of him.
  • Mysterious Stranger: The question of his true identity and significance is central to Season 4’s plot.



”Yis, it was quite intense, actually.”

A socially awkward white-furred Sasquatch from New Zealand and a member of the Secret Sasquatch Society. He travels across oceans on only a small rowing board.

  • Chekhov's Gunman: That skiff of his comes in handy when he arrives just in time to rescue Mike Nolan and Quintin when they’re stranded in the middle of the ocean following the destruction of King Larrinox’s island base.
  • Strange-Syntax Speaker: Speaks in an oddly hesitant, restrained manner, which isn’t helped by his incredibly thick Kiwi accent.
  • Only Sane Man: Kizza seems to be one of the only named sasquatches that isn’t a drug-addled Cloud Cuckoo Lander, though he still seems to go on many wild offscreen adventures.

    The Devil 

The Devil

The actual Satan. He’s a member of the Secret Sasquatch Society despite not being a sasquatch, and is a surprisingly laidback dude.

  • Hellfire: Makes a grand entrance to the sasquatch party in an intimidating column of roaring fire, only for it to quickly dissipate to reveal a friendly-looking red guy in a yellow shirt.
  • Satan is Good: He mocks the vilified way he’s presented in “all those Bible books” as he’s actually a friendly, chilled out guy. He even lends Lez some black camo gear for his mission to save Quintin.
  • The Stoner: “Mate, they don’t call it the Devil’s Lettuce for nothin’.”



A timid ginger-haired sasquatch who drives the freight train that gets Lez and the crew to North Queensland.

  • Badass Beard: Inverted. While he has an impressive beard, he’s actually a bit of a coward and doesn’t do anything active in the story beyond getting the Boys to North Queensland. Sassy still holds him in pretty high regard though and really wanted him to come along.
  • My Species Doth Protest Too Much: He’s not a fan of the dangerous adventures and hard drug abuse that the other sasquatches routinely get up to, and would rather just get on with his job.
  • Only Sane Man: The sanest sasquatch character we’ve seen so far.
  • Refusal of the Call: Sassy tries to goad him into joining them on their skitz mission to kill Larrinox, but Scotty awkwardly rebukes him several times and spends the episode chatting with Wayne-O in the train.



A mysterious background figure who owns a toy manufacturing company that sells dolls in his likeness called Glendolls, which Lez avidly collects. He was present on Kingdom Cum when Dr. C first created the Choomahs.

  • Bigger Bad: Glen is the true mastermind behind the events of the series and has been using Larrinox and the other villains for his own ends. However, Larrinox is still the biggest personal threat to Lez when all’s said and done.
  • Broken Pedestal: For Lez, who idolised Glen and his action figures, the reveal that Glen has been working with Larrinox the whole time hits him hard.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: A total corporate sleaze (if the recorded lines his action figures speak when squeezed are any indication) and a would-be conqueror of Earth alongside King Larrinox.
  • The Dog Was the Mastermind: Glen, an extremely minor background character, is eventually revealed to be working with King Larrinox. He also funded the experiments that first created the Choomahs and caused Clarence’s subsequent exile into space.
  • Human Aliens


The protagonist of a future, as-of-yet untitled series that will be set in the Big Lez universe. Nigel is a prominent landowner in Brown Town and provides protection for the sasquatches and all the other freaky inhabitants of the neighbourhood.


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