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Characters / Survival Of The Fittest V 7101 To 150

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Male Students

    B053: Clayton Barber 
B053: Clayton “Clay” Barber
Designated Weapon: Street Sword: Practical Use of the Long Blade by Phil Elmore
Conclusion: Oh my god! Last time, the mute girl gets the megaphone, and now this? This is too good. Now we just need a deaf kid so we can give them a record player... hang on, does this make me a bad person? - Josh Baines

    B054: Drew Woods 
B054: Drew Woods
Designated Weapon: Tekagi-shuko gloves
Conclusion: A weak will is a drawback that's difficult to overcome even with the right tools, and B054 does not have the right tools. The best he can hope for is that he can live off the land and lay low, but he'll have to face another competitor at some point, and that'll probably be his end. - Christina Stockton

  • Hopeless Suitor: Towards his crush, Declyn.

  • The Heart: A ball of sunshine, making him one for the gardening club, alongside his friend and crush Declyn.

    B055: Nick Ogilvie 
B055: Nicholas "Nick" Domhnall Parkhurst Ogilvie
Designated Weapon: Jagdkommando Tri-Dagger
Conclusion: Hey, my favorite stupid knife. I don't see B055 becoming my favorite stupid boy, but I'm open to surprises. For your next trick, try being halfway competent, and maybe I'll get over the fact that magic tricks are for kids and dumbasses. - Veronica Rai

    B056: Jonah Heartgrave
B056: Jonah Heartgrave
Designated Weapon: Desert Eagle handgun
Conclusion: I like to call guys like this the Meatshield Special. He's going down in defense of some loser, and then said loser is going to have a gun that will probably break their wrist. That's what we call karma. - Shamino Warhen

    B057: Kyle Harrison 
B057: Kyle Harrison
Designated Weapon: Potato launcher + 1 lb. sack of potatoes
Conclusion: This school seems to be evenly divided into sociopaths and bleeding hearts. Unfortunately this boy falls into the latter category, so the weekend Lourvey spent building that weapon is most likely going to have been a waste. - Trent Camden

    B059: Nathan Coleman
B059: Nathan Coleman
Designated Weapon: MTs225 Shotgun
Conclusion: Ooh. Ooooooh. Ooooh no. Oh. Oof. Shit. - Josh Baines

  • The Load: Due to his Down syndrome, Nathan is unable to properly grasp the situation and is a liability to his party.
  • Morality Pet: For Madison Springer. Deconstructed in that their relationship is not at all healthy because of it.


    B060: Thomas "Tom" Swift 
B060: Thomas “Tom” Swift
Designated Weapon: Tactical kama
Conclusion: You're already in a downward spiral. The easy way out's right there. Don't waste our time. - Veronica Rai

    B061: Oliver Lacroix 
B061: Oliver Lacroix
Designated Weapon: Butterfly knife
Conclusion: Between all your vices, I can see you like to live life in the moment, B061. That's good, because with your decison-making skills, you don't have much of that life left to live. - Jim Greynolds

    B062: Jeff Greene 
B062: Jeffrey Albert Greene
Designated Weapon: Riot shield
Conclusion: There's no better attitude adjustment than staring certain death in the face. B062 will need to figure that out, or make good use of that shield; the lone wolf playstyle doesn't work if everyone you might come across already sees you as a potential explosion. - Christina Stockton

    B063: Guillermo "Billy" Trevino
B063: Guillermo "Billy" Trevino
Designated Weapon: Pepper Spray
Conclusion: Another day, another loser whose last words are going to be "Hey, watch this!" - Veronica Rai

    B064: Justin Greene 
B064: Justin Greene
Designated Weapon: J.R. Rizzolo's tire iron
Conclusion: Your weapon is more interesting than you are. Next contestant! - Josie Knight

    B065: Manuel Figueroa 
B065: Manuel Figueroa
Designated Weapon: Shuriken x 5
Conclusion: I've been wracking my brain for over a half hour trying to think of a joke involving Mexicans, baseball, dancing and ninjas. I got nothing. This kid came out of the bargain bin wearing whatever stuck to him, so... I guess we'll just have to see how he does? I'll put him down as my wild card. - Josh Baines

    B066: Blaise d'Aramitz 
B06: Blaise d'Aramitz
Designated Weapon: Bottle of old Jack Daniel's whiskey
Conclusion: You're going to end up just like Bowie. Dead. - Josie Knight

    B067: Ramsey Cortez 
B067: Ramsey Cortez
Designated Weapon: 40 lb. bag of Lucky Charms marshmallows
Conclusion: Follow the rainbow, B067. It's the only chance you've got at stumbling into success. - Shamino Warhen

    B068: Alexander Brooke 
B068: Alexander Brooke
Designated Weapon: Grand Power K100
Conclusion: Thanks for the dog, fucko. - Veronica Rai

    B069: Ron Kiser 
B069: Ronald "Ron" Kiser
Designated Weapon: Fire extinguisher
Conclusion: SIXTY NINE, DUDES! ... Doesn't feel as good as I thought, but still got it out of my system. Ahem, B069 is quick, lasts a long time, and is best in pairs where he can properly reciprocate duties. He just needs to be concerned about the enjoyment of others and not just himself, lest somebody sink their teeth into him. - Dennis Lourvey

    B070: Dane Lennox
B070: Dane Lennox
Designated Weapon: Uzi-Pro
Conclusion: Rich kid with a silver spoon born in his mouth? Yeah, I can see why that would be easy to hate. Now, let's see them try to hate on somebody with a spoon in their mouth and an Uzi in their hands. - Trent Camden

    B071: Sal Bonaventura 
B071: Salvatore “Sal” Bonaventura
Designated Weapon: Non-functional collar (old model, no explosives or electronics)
Conclusion: Oh, what you've got there is one of the old models I worked on. Think that one was 'D4-K' something. Had a weird designation, but I liked calling it the 'Black Waltz 4'. It won't blow up or anything and it's nothing like the latest models, but in the right hands I think it can be put to some good use. Come on, B071... let's get creative. - Dennis Lourvey

    B072: William Dover 
B072: William "Bill" Dover
Designated Weapon: Caffeine Pills
Conclusion: I'm always relieved when we don't waste a good weapon on these dopey Jesus types. Makes me feel like somebody up there is looking out for things... oh wait. - Matt Richards

    B073: Jeremiah Anderson 
B073: Jeremiah Anderson
Designated Weapon: Claw hammer
Conclusion: You have two choices, B073: take the opportunity we've given you to forge the new path you've so desperately been seeking, or die as miserably as you lived. - Tracen Danya

    B074: Theo Walterson 
B074: Theophilus “Theo” Walterson
Designated Weapon: Color Guard rifle
Conclusion: Gardeners have an interesting track record, so I'd say try snapping quickly and keeping things interesting, but man. I just can't get behind a guy named Theophilus as any sort of credible threat. Also the unconvincing fake gun, but man. - Josh Baines

  • The Smart Guy: In the gardening club. This is best shown in the aftermath of Drew's death, where he is able to compose himself and ask some sensible questions while the other surviving club members freak out.

    B075: Arjen Kramer 
B075: Arjen Justus Kramer
Designated Weapon: Flammenschwert
Conclusion: That is a very nice sword. If you spin it around and scream loud enough, people might think you're scary and not stick around long enough to realize you've got no way of using it properly. - Matt Richards

    B076: Abraham “Abe” Watanabe 
B077: Abraham “Abe” Watanabe
Designated Weapon: Replica Freddy Krueger glove
Conclusion: A kid with a reference weapon that Lourvey isn't fighting everyone to get? Sucks to suck, I guess. I've seen the movies though, so don't worry: bad jokes are exactly the way to go. - Veronica Rai

    B078: Thomas Buckley 
B078: Thomas Buckley
Designated Weapon: Vektor SP1
Conclusion: You don't want pity? Good news then coward. There's no pity for you here. You get to put that gun to use and go solve some problems before someone solves you. - Josie Knight

    B079: Colin McCabe 
B079: Colin McCabe
Designated Weapon: 1000-piece puzzle (missing 2 pieces)
Conclusion: Hey guys, I found the last two pieces under the- aw, man... - Donald, our intern

Female Students

    G052: Joanne Coleman 
G052: Joanne Sekai Coleman
Designated Weapon: George Hunter High School mascot costume
Conclusion: Welp, doesn't get any more gender-neutral than THAT, does it? Go Horned Owls! - Matt Richards

    G053: Katelynne Kirkpatrick 
G053: Katelynne Kirkpatrick
Designated Weapon: Cochise High School 2015 yearbook
Conclusion: It's like that one weird horse girl from high school did the fusion dance with Sid from Toy Story, and they've merged for the sole purpose of crafting custom-tailored nightmares. Would you kindly send us the contact info of other members of your 'community' so we can put them on the island also? - Dennis Lourvey

    G054: Valerija Bogdanovic 
G054: Valerija Bogdanovic
Designated Weapon: Pickelhaube helmet
Conclusion: Screw diplomacy, G054. You've got killing in the blood... heck, you even got a tragic backstory to really get that rage going. Use your head (no, literally, ram it right into somebody's gut) and you're a contender. Or drop dead, see if I care. Cyka blat! - Dennis Lourvey

    G055: Tirzah Foss 
G055: Tirzah Foss
Designated Weapon: Wildey .45 (handgun)
Conclusion: You don't need to worry about opening up. With a draw like that, other people will have no problems opening up to you. - Abby Soto

    G056: Dhairyalakshmi "Daria" Bhatia 
G056: Dhairyalakshmi “Daria” Bhatia
Designated Weapon: Pack of instant hand warmers
Conclusion: I don't see this show going for a very long run. Put your acting chops to some good use and play the role of somebody who at least makes it to act 2. - Jim Greynolds

    G057: Catherine Zier 
G057: Catherine Lina Zier
Designated Weapon: Large plastic bag containing 1 live lobster in water
Conclusion: Mr. Pinchy? Where did you go? Pinchy- PINCHY NOOOOOO! - Donald, our intern

    G058: Yuko Hayashibara 
G058: Yuko Hayashibara
Designated Weapon: Nock gun
Conclusion: Athletic? Tough, prideful, aggressive? Holy shit I was right, you ARE Buttercup! Ahem, given your role as the muscle of the Powerpuff Girls (which is totally what we're calling you all now), I see no reason why you can't team up and make it far. Provided you can all get together, that is... if evil finds you when you're alone, your formulaic episode will grind to an abrupt, and deadly, end. - Dennis Lourvey

    G060: Princess McQuillan 
G060: Princess McQuillan Dasinger
Designated Weapon: Vial of Samandarin + vial of antidote
Conclusion: Adapt and overcome, G060. You're versatile and with a good skill set. Manipulate your way into a strong social circle of 'friends' willing to take a bullet for you, obtain a weapon of your own, and you might just stand atop the mountain. Doesn't that sound promising? - Tracen Danya

    G061: Charelle Chernyshyova 
G061: Charelle Faith Chernyshyova
Designated Weapon: Brass knuckles
Conclusion: If you get lucky you'll be able to live long enough to become a meme or you'll just die in a fucking hilarious way. I don't care. - Josie Knight

    G062: Tonya Collins 
G062: Tonya Eudora Collins
Designated Weapon: Machete
Conclusion: There's no extra credit for being a mother, G062. But you do have something to live for that nobody else here does. If your child really matters to you, now is the time to show it. - Abby Soto

    G063: Christina "Renz" Rennes 
G063: Christina Siobhan “Renz” Rennes
Designated Weapon: Parachute knife
Conclusion: Laugh all you want, but 'won't trust murderers' and 'understands how to play the game' are advantages many of you are sorely lacking. If I didn't know better, I'd say G063 was practically studying up to win this whole thing. Gamers do it greatest! - Dennis Lourvey

    G064: Anna "Roxanne" Herbert 
G064: Anna “Roxanne” Christine Herbert
Designated Weapon: Benelli M3
Conclusion: There's just one rule here, and you've got the tools to follow it. So, who do you want to be when you're out from under your parents' thumbs? Figure it out, and don't forget to put on a show. - Jim Greynolds

    G065: Kelly Nguyen 
G065: Kelly Thuy Nguyen
Designated Weapon: Rubber Chicken
Conclusion: Is there some rule I wasn't told about that says all Vietnamese girls in the game have to have a name starting with K? Whatever. I don't see this busybody upholding any legacies. - Veronica Rai

    G066: Nona Hart 
G066: Nona Hart
Designated Weapon: FN P90
Conclusion: As my father once told me, you can't do a thing about where you are — only where you're going. You grow and adapt in order to survive, or you fail to find that drive to succeed, and die like many of your classmates. Which path you go down is determined solely by whether or not you can re-discover your survival instincts, G066. - Tracen Danya

    G067: Kayla Harris
G067: Kayla Harris
Designated Weapon: Steel folding chair

    G068: Adele Jones 
G068: Adele Jones
Designated Weapon: Small shopping cart
Conclusion: What kind of- did our budget run out? Where did we get that? - Veronica Rai

    G069: Shauna Cooke 
G069: Shauna Cooke
Designated Weapon: Pata
Conclusion: If you already crumple like wet tissue paper in the face of day-to-day adversity there's not much more to say here. G069 may ride in the wake of stronger contestants for a while, but she's more likely to be an early out. - Christina Stockton

    G070: Jessica Rennes 
G070: Jessica Marie Rennes
Designated Weapon: Bear Trap
Conclusion: We've got a grand tradition here of siblings turning on each other when the chips are down, and I think Little Miss Sunshine is about to become the next in that long line of casualties. - Veronica Rai

    G071: Sakurako Jackson
G071: Sakurako Adina Jackson
Designated Weapon: Prop knife set (plastic knife w/ collapsible blade + 2 fake blood capsules)
Conclusion: Play to your strengths, and you have a straight shot to at least the midpoint of the game, G071. Get bogged down by your weakness, and you're little more than an excessively cheerful moving target. Don't get eliminated. - Christina Stockton

    G072: Quinn Abert 
G072: Quinn Abert
Designated Weapon: Bullwhip
Conclusion: Look, I could make references to the song all day (and it's stuck in my head, thanks a lot), but it's a lot more constructive to focus on your fiery temperament. Psyche yourself up enough and you're bound to LP LP forward LK HP somebody's block off before they even know what's happening. - Dennis Lourvey

  • Ax-Crazy. Averted. Even though Quinn racks up a very rapid body count, for no real reason other than that she can, she is in full control of herself the entire time.

    G073: Terra Johnson 
G073: Terra Johnson
Designated Weapon: Gas Mask
Conclusion: Hey, don't worry about it, G073. Your video game namesake was ALSO brainwashed by an uncaring god. Don't worry too much about being selfish, by the way... it's the only chance I see of you approaching anything resembling victory. - Dennis Lourvey

    G074: Megan Summers 
G074: Megan Summers
Designated Weapon: ArtCreativity Juggling Balls Set for Beginners (Set of 3)
Conclusion: Much like your weapon, I only see you getting tossed around for a little bit before being unceremoniously dumped into a garbage can. - Trent Camden

    G075: Aditi Sharma  
G072: Aditi Abhijit Sharma
Designated Weapon: Browning Hi Power 9mm
Conclusion: No taste for blood and no love for any pride but your own. You are a wounded lioness, child, and the scavengers are unkind. Bad luck. - Adimabua Lawal

    G076: Garnet Barnes 
G076: Garnet Barnes
Designated Weapon: String of Mardi Gras beads
Conclusion: Life on the island can be a lonely one for the ill-prepared, G076. What to do about that, that's the only thing I can't teach you. We all need to figure out the answer for ourselves. So how are you going to survive? Are you going to sing your song? Our song? - Dennis Lourvey

    G077: Christine “Chris” Bright  
G077: Christine “Chris” Bright
Designated Weapon: Big Mouth Billy Bass (15th Anniversary Edition)
Conclusion: Keep this between us, G077, but that was actually supposed to go out last version for the anniversary. Stupid postal service ran late, so now you have a whole new friend to motivate you! Just think about how lucky you are. - Matt Richards

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