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This is the official character guide for the Adult Swim show Squidbillies, This character list is currently under heavy construction.

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The Cuyler Clan

    In General 
  • Ax-Crazy: They all have their violent episodes.
  • Badass Family: This is usually averted as the Cuylers are Too Dumb to Live. But out of nowhere during the Animation Bump sequence in "Squash B'Gosh" we see them uncharacteristically become hardcore fighters and kick ass during the zombie-gourd-doll-zombie apocalypse. Once the animation quality goes back to normal the Cuylers also go back to being dumb and they get killed by the zombies.
  • Bloody Hilarious: Gorey injuries are prevalent within the show, but the Cuylers, in particular, seem to be a magnet to them.
  • The Chain of Harm: Every member of the Cuyler family tree had suffered from Abusive Parents when they were a child and grew up to be Abusive Parents to their offspring. The Grand Finale directly addresses it, with Rusty learning that in order to break the cycle, he has to leave Early for good. He goes through with it by the end, raising a happy family with Tammy while Early is left all alone to drink his sorrow away.
  • The Chew Toy: All of them, to the point of being Cosmic Playthings.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: As eccentric as they are disgusting.
  • Comic Trio: Early, Granny, and Rusty form one. Early is the dumbass schemer who doesn't think ahead, Granny is the submissive fool who Early usually forces to go along with his plan, while Rusty is usually the only one to try and convince his dad to stop.
  • Depending on the Writer: From their personalities, relationships, how genuinely nice they are, how much they care about each other, how their bodies function, or even their own backstories, nearly everything about them is changed from episode-to-episode due to Negative Continuity. For example, Rusty was originally raised by Lil and Granny while Early was in a state prison, but in another episode Early had raised him his whole life.
  • Doom Magnet: Wherever the Cuylers go, destruction and despair follows.
  • Dysfunctional Family: Early is an Ax-Crazy repeat offender who abuses substances and his family alike, Granny is a racist, nymphomaniacal Scatterbrained Senior, Lil is almost always passed out, and poor Rusty is stuck playing the moral center. Yet, they somehow function as a "family". Notably though, it seems like Early is the catalyst for the dysfunction, as many episodes show the Cuylers can actually be normal (and happy) when he isn't around. In "Tortuga de Mentiras" we see Rusty and Granny are capable of acting like a much happier family, one where they convert their rundown shack of home into an actual house, with Early being absent.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: As time went on most of the Cuylers (except Early) became fairly sympathetic as the show usually painted them as victims to Early's tyrannical physical abuse and emotional manipulation — thus in the Series Finale we see them all escape his grip for good. Rusty runs off to marry Tammi in another city, Granny passes on and her spirit reunites with Gaga Peepap, and Lil (as shown in a previous episode) became mostly sober and is now living with her nice boyfriend.
  • Explosive Breeder: The Appalachian Mud Squids can lay out dozens of eggs at an alarming rate. However the fact that they are a Too Dumb to Live species and that the crows have a hankering for squid eggs means that they are still on the brink of extinction.
  • Greed: When they're not harassing the local folk, they're trying to get out of their Perpetual Poverty in the most scummiest way possible.
  • Half-Witted Hillbilly: They're all incredibly dumb to say the least.
  • Hated by All: It's pretty clear that everyone in Dougal County (sans Sheriff, but even he has limits) see the Cuylers as nothing more than the rubbish found under their shoes.
  • Hayseed Name: All of em!
  • Healing Factor: In "Limbitless" it is revealed that parts of their bodies can grow back to normal in time. This may explain how characters like Granny can suffer intense bodily harm and then appear no worse for wear in the following scene.
  • Hermaphrodite: Granny reveals in ''The Ballad of the Latrine Marine" that Appalachian mud squids are these. They possess both male and female sex organs. Early does not take learning this well, especially when he finds out that he is pregnant and has to empty his egg sac.
    Granny: Vag, balls — we got it alls.
    Granny: You (Rusty) are a man and a woman. And so's your daddy.
  • Hillbilly Horrors: They would be seriously terrifying if they weren't so damn funny.
  • Last of His Kind: The Cuylers are the last degenerate, inbred remnants of the Appalachian mud squids.
  • A Lighter Shade of Black: The Cuylers may be crazy and borderline irredeemibly awful, but Dan Halen is much, much, worse than them.
  • Loser Protagonist: All of them are. Early is a violent alcholic who is unable (and unwilling) to provide for his poverty-ridden clan. Granny is a depraved perpetually ill girl who is constantly near death (not that the family usually cares). Rusty, while genuinely trying to be good, is stuck with his abusive dysfunctional family and working in dead end jobs to provide for his girlfriend and son. Lil is a cold-hearted drug maker/dealer/user who spends many of her days presumably passed out in a pool of her own vomit.
  • Lower-Class Lout: They're your stereotypical white trash rednecks (as squids).
  • Made of Iron: Courtesy of being squids, they can endure all sorts of pain before finally biting the dust.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: Expect the Cuylers to make any bad situation even worse. Prime example: "Squash B'Gosh", where Granny triggers a Gourd Doll Possessed by Restless Confederate Dead Apocalypse.
  • Perpetual Poverty: Almost always broke. Some episodes would have the Cuylers get money through some scheme and then they'd be back to where they were by the next episode. It might be a Justified example, as according to Sheriff, the family would be just above the poverty line if Early wasn't so reckless with their money (ie, blowing Rusty's welfare checks on liquor.)
  • Weirdness Magnet: Many episodes in the show's earlier years had the Cuylers encountering strange and supernatural creatures. Nowadays they're the source of insanity.
  • Tangled Family Tree: Exactly how they are all related is unknown. To quote Granny, on why she hates Ge-Ge-Pap-Pap, "He married me, got me pregnant, then ran off with some floozy had a baby and that baby grew up to be me!" Additionally if Early's story is to be believed Ge-Ge-Pap-Pap is also her brother. All that can be known for certain is Rusty is Early's son and Lil is Early's sister. However, Granny has been stated to be Early's mother, grandmother, great-grandmother or the primordial ancestor of all talking squids. The exact relation is unknown but given the sheer volume of incest practiced by the family the answer might be yes.
  • Too Dumb to Live: When they die, they usually bring it on themselves. Though Rusty is smarter about it than his family members are as far as that goes. In "Granny Hotfoot" Rusty manages to barely avoid getting euthanized while Early and Granny foolishly accept their shots.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: They all used to be pretty bad but after the first few seasons, much of the chaos has been relegated to just Early while the rest of the Cuylers just happen to be around him when it happens.
  • Villain Protagonist: The Cuylers are not what you call good people. They regularly and gleefully commit all sorts of crime and chaos throughout Dougal County and often get into insane adventures. Bar Rusty, who is the most consistently nice and moral-focused member.
  • What Measure Is a Non-Human?: Despite being fully sentient squids capable of living normally in society (if they weren't so reckless), most people treat the Cuylers not as regular people but as wild animals that need to be contained. In "Lipstick on a Squid" they are subjected to experimental cosmetics and drugs that would normally be used on wild animals and in "Granny Hotfoot" they are treated like racing pigs to the point of being confined in little cages.

    Earland Jubal Stonewall "Early" Cuyler

Our main character. An inbred, sexist, sociopathic backwoods squid who's usually drunk to the point of blacking out and has a violent temper ready to go off at the slightest provocation. Early has little regard or care for any of his loved ones and has frequently put them through the wringer just to amuse himself. Save for a few rare moments, it is clear that he does not even love his family, including Rusty, and sees them more as pawns that he can regularly use for his personal gain. He is arguably the "provider" of the family but he usually doesn't do any providing and any money that he does get is spent on booze and alcohol. Early has a rather infamous reputation in town for instigating an inhumane amount of crimes, destroying tons of property, and even killing/murdering countless people under the most petty reasons. When properly motivated he will go to the ends of the Earth to accomplish his goals even if it means hurting innocent lives, his own family, or even himself. Not because he actually cares, but because he is too dumb to realize what is going on. Early can be shockingly dumb at times and most times where he suffers it is of his own idiocy. While he initially got away with many of his atrocities, he would later become the Karmic Butt-Monkey of the Cuylers. Early's impulsive, insane, and moronic actions are the driving force of pretty much every episode in the series.

Voiced by: Unknown Hinson (2004-2019), Tracy Morgan (2021)

  • Abhorrent Admirer: To any female he fancies, but mostly Glenn's Wife. Not surprising considering he constantly stalks the women of Dougal County.
  • Abusive Parents: Shooting Rusty, stabbing him, punching him, throwing a rock at him, ripping one of his teeth out, using his skin on a taxidermy model...yeah.
    • Early himself had an abusive and neglectful father whose idea of playing catch with his son involved BB pellets.
  • The Alcoholic: Big time. He's constantly drunk and lives off of whiskey, moonshine and his own homemade pine cone "party liquor".
    • In "Family Trouble", Early gives a urine sample meant to see if he's Rusty's father, only for the doctor to identify it as "80 proof straight bourbon whiskey".
    • The Season 2 episode "A Sober Sunday" has the Sheriff check Early's blood alcohol levels, which the Sheriff finds to be at unnatural levels.
    Sheriff: 0.63?
    Early: Hey, that's good, ain't it?
    Sheriff: Boy, that's well beyond human limits there.
    Early: For real?
  • And There Was Much Rejoicing: He's typically on the receiving end of this from the townspeople whenever he gets his comeuppance. The biggest example being in "Greener Pastor", where Early vehemently states that he will not leave town despite losing the sumo-wrestling match against the town's new pastor in which the loser is exiled. It then abruptly cuts to Early being tied to stray dog which then humiliatingly drags him away as everyone in town happily rejoices in catharsis.
  • Ass Shove: Has been subjected to this more than once. Whether they be condoms filled with drugs, hot pizzas, or even Granny!
  • Authority in Name Only: Ostensibly, Early's the CEO of Dan Halen Sheetrock International. In truth, his position as CEO is a legal fiction for drawing lawsuits away from Dan Halen, who continues calling all the shots. Early's actual work is a number of blue- and white-collar, sometimes dangerous odd jobs he's tasked with by Dan Halen for little pay.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's one crazy violent hillbilly.
    • In 'Ga-Ga-Ghost', he actually says the only reason he doesn't kill everything in sight is because he wants to go to heaven.
  • Butt-Monkey: He becomes this in many episodes due to his Too Dumb to Live status.
  • The Chew Toy: He suffers a lot of mutilation, especially in the later seasons.
  • Comedic Sociopath: Abusive psycho, yes. But damn if it ain't hilarious.
  • Companion Cube: Early shows more genuine love and empathy towards his treasured gun and truck-boat-truck than his own family.
  • Couch Gag: His hats.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: A combination of being a backwoods idiot, chemical and alcohol consumption of inhuman levels, and about 13 years in prison has left him with a... unique mindset.
  • The Determinator: Early will go through absolutely asinine lengths to achieve his goals and prove his points or opinions no matter how dumb, dangerous, or insane they all are.
  • Didn't Think This Through: His obsession with immediate gratification means that he'll do something even when it comes back to bite him later.
  • The Ditz: He rivals Granny for the title of the most inept member of the Cuyler clan and is frequently shown to be incredibly ignorant of common knowledge.
  • The Dreaded: Kind of. The townsfolk despise Early, but are also somewhat afraid of him as well due to his extremely short temper and homicidal tendencies.
  • Egg-Laying Male: In "Butt Trouble", he and Rusty lay eggs after they drink too much mercury.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Early will go to insane and moronic lengths to protest or support most anything. But marrying a bear to protest gay marriage is too insane even for him. This also leads to the first time in the series that he actually relents on a stance, even saying "gays should be allowed I guess to marry as fit." Granted, that was after a hefty Mutilation Conga that traumatized Early into changing his mind.
    • There are times where even he's disgusted by Granny's extreme sexual drive and behavior.
    • In a surprisingly serious example, even Early was genuinely horrified and freaked out over the events of "Forever Autumn", where Dan Halen's new toxin created horribly mutated people and animals along with tree monsters that committed suicide or slaughtered dozens of people, including children.
  • Evil Is Petty: Tends to hurt or lash out at others over incredibly trivial things, and is shown to be childishly vindictive. He once burned down every home in town just because he got kicked out of the church's volunteer mission for something he is at fault for.
  • Expy: He's basically the character of Unknown Hinson in Cephalopod form.
  • Fate Worse than Death: In the series finale, he's left completely alone after Granny dies and Rusty finally gets the courage to leave the family home. Considering all the things he's done over the course of the show, he certainly deserves it.
  • Freudian Excuse: He's a lunatic, but given he had Gaga Pepap and Granny for parents, its not entirely surprising how he ended up, especially considering the way his father (or grandfather) treated him as a kid. One episode also reveals that as a child, he was faced with constant racism for being a squid.
    • "The Big Gay Throwdown" heavily implies that Early was raped in prison.
  • Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: The finale makes it clear that Early is a product of the Cuyler clan's terrible traditions, his direct upbringing by Granny and Gaga Pepap, and most likely, inbreeding-related mental health issues. It is still made clear that he is the worst person that the Cuyler clan has produced and Rusty needs to abandon him to have a good life with Tammy and Randy.
  • Gun Nut: He has a ton of weapons, but his signature one is his prized 12-gauge shotgun, which he uses for robbery, intimidation and murder.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Dougal County knows full well there's no predicting what will set Early off. Insults, compliments, defying him, not defying him...
  • Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Had a pretty wicked mane before going to jail.
  • Hated by All: While the Cuyler family as a whole get this treatment, the town at least can usually tolerate them when they're behaved. Early in particular though, is reviled by everyone due to his sociopathic nature and rarely gets any patience or understanding from the citizens. In "Tortuga de Mentiras" Granny kills Early with a rifle and the rest of the town is willing to turn a blind eye. In "Greener Pastor" the townspeople take great joy in watching Early get humiliatingly banished from town by getting hogtied to a stray dog. When Early gets stranded in his walled-off house for months in "The Fine 'Ol Situation", the town holds a celebratory parade.
  • Hidden Depths: He’s a pretty skilled guitarist.
  • His Own Worst Enemy: Early frequently suffers his karmic fate through his own stupidity and impulsiveness, rather than someone else having enough of him and enacting revenge.
  • Humiliation Conga: The episode "Dewey Two-ey". Much of the episode is spent with Dewey Jr. making Early's life a complete living hell for him. Though Early is a massive dick and likely deserves most of it.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Let's just say that Early has a rather... strange thought process. Many of his schemes devolve into utter nonsense because he cannot properly understand basic laws of reality.
  • Insufferable Imbecile: Early is seriously lacking in both common sense and empathy. Almost all of his criminal schemes backfire on him in some way.
  • It's All About Me: Early is virtually incapable of caring about anyone except himself and seems to be unable to process the idea that other people have different wants and needs than him. He can destroy property and ruin peoples' lives without remorse but the moment something bad happens to him, he acts extremely melodramatic as if everyone is always against him. In the few cases he shows interest in other people, it is when he is trying to fulfill his own desires.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: You'd be forgiven for thinking this trope doesn't apply to him at all, at first, but every now and then (such as during the Christmas Special) he shows signs that he does love his family, albeit in a really messed up way. This is subverted, double subverted, and then zig-zagged in "Galvin". At first it seems like he only wants Granny back from Galvin because he likes to abuse her all the time. Then, it starts to seem like he genuinely wants his mom back. By the end, Early starts abusing her again by choking her like a stress ball, however they both seem to enjoy this as Rusty then chokes Early followed by Granny choking Rusty.
    • Played straight in the ending of "Blue Lives Battered", when Early reveals that he knows he's a handful, but he really does care about Sheriff, leading to the two of them and Denny crying, hugging, and embracing. And all of it is played 100% straight. Early even cries as he rewatches the footage on his work computer and remarks to Glenn that it's beautiful.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Depending on the Writer. Sometimes deep inside his Jerkass Trigger-Happy personality, you'll find... nothing else. The Series Finale double downs on this and he deservingly ends up as the only character without any sort of happy ending.
  • Karmic Butt-Monkey: As the series progresses, Early goes through a litany of maiming, humiliation, and demeaning deaths. But he deserves it all due to how much of an evil, unsympathetic squid he is.
  • Karma Houdini: Often, he does suffer for what he does occasionally and he has been arrested many, many times, but the sheriff lets him out just as often, this pretty much applies to every criminal in Dougal County.
    • Averted way more often starting in Season 4, while he's still let go pretty easily by the Sherrif, more times than not he suffers from a pretty bloody case of Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Gets this a lot, especially in episodes after season 3, usually in the form of an incredibly bloody injury or flat out death.
    • In the Series Finale, he's hit hard with this. He gets repeatedly beaten with a frying pan by Granny's spirit, has his precious truck stolen by Rusty and is then hit by said truck as Rusty uses it to get him and his family away from Early. By the end - with Granny dead and Rusty, Lil and Sheriff finding lives of their own - Early is left completely alone, drinking his sorrows away with no one to take his anger out on.
  • Laughably Evil: Early is an unlikable asshole, he is still hilarious to watch.
  • Lower-Class Lout: He displays every negative stereotype associated with lower-class white people from the South, being uneducated, short-tempered, bigoted, and frequently engaging in criminal behavior.
  • Malaproper: His speechanating consistafies of addifying extra verbatages on the end of his wordamating.
  • Moral Sociopathy: He is a violent, trigger happy sociopath, but he still goes to church every sunday to praise the lord.
  • Never Learned to Read: He's illiterate due to his lack of education. "School Days, Fool Days' even reveals he doesn't even know what comes after the letter F in the alphabet.
  • No-Holds-Barred Beatdown: He frequently subjects Granny, Sheriff, and anyone who happen to be within arms length of him; whether to get his way or just for fun. It's practically a Running Gag.
  • Not Me This Time: All eyes point to Early being the titular Butt-cutter serial killer, as he is no stranger to murdering random innocents for fun. He's not the killer — it's Dan Halen.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: The show and everyone else may treat Early a pathetic being who can't do anything right. but God help you when you get on his bad side. He will go to Hell and back to accomplish his goals even if it takes him down as well.
  • Only the Leads Get a Happy Ending: Cathartically inverted in Early's case; he was the only character to not have any happy ending in the Series Finale despite being the central character of the show. Rusty and Tammi reconcile and leave Dougal County for good, raising Randy in much better living conditions along with having even more children. Lil has a supportive boyfriend and is getting sober. Granny, despite dying, ultimately finds solace as a ghost and reunites with Gaga Pee Pap; they both bond by wailing Early with a frying pan. Sheriff and Deputy Denny deliberately let Rusty go in spite of stealing Early's truck and they plan on starting a podcast together. Early, on the other hand, has practically every member of the Cuyler clan abandon him and he is left alone to bitterly drown his sorrows away.
  • Pet the Dog: Is actually capable of being nice, however few and far between these moments might last.
    • In the rapture episode, he is sympathetic to the Reverend's plight (despite being the town's only pastor, he was deemed unworthy to go to Heaven) and even lets him in on their apocalypse debauchery.
    • In "Blue Lives Battered", he genuinely says that Sheriff is his best friend and is willing to suffer a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown at Sheriff's hands as comeuppance for doing the same to him.
    • In “Rich Dan, Poor Dan”, he tries to teach a financially broke Dan Halen that you can live a happy life without being rich and powerful and has no ulterior motive in mind. Too bad Dan takes immediate advantage of the Cuyler family.
    • In both "The Inkubator Lives" and "Events By Russell" he easily (and surprisingly) forgives Rusty for beating him up.
    • In "Who Gives a Flip?" Early deciding to give back Sheriff's beloved mask back after discovering how much it meant to him when he stole it. He also does it in secret, not even wanting a reward or trying to bribe him like he tried to before. It was no easy feat either, as he got mauled by his own army of vicious dogs in his quest to return it.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: He's racist, sexist, homophobic, xenophobic, anti-Semitic and is just hateful in general.
  • Psychopathic Manchild: It's clear that Early is very stunted emotionally. He has a short fuse, only cares about his own desires, fails to consider the consequences of his actions, develops grudges over petty slights, and generally acts very irresponsible.
  • The Sociopath: Early has a complete lack of empathy for others, has no regard for the law or the feelings of others, feels no remorse for the pain he inflicts, is emotionally manipulative of his family, loses his temper at the slightest provocation, has poor impulse control and an inability to learn from all the mistakes he makes. He is also a low-functioning example, since he is not very bright and seeks momentary gratification even when it hurts him later down the road.
  • Stupid Evil: Early is not a smart guy, and most of the bad things he does end up biting him in the ass more often than not. And of course, he never learns from his mistakes, repeating those same mistakes again and again without a care in the world.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: He dies very often.
  • Toxic Friend Influence: To Sheriff. Whenever he does consider him his friend, Early usually takes advantage of him and/or pushes him to do various reprehensible acts. Case in point, "Jacksonville Jackass" is pretty much Early's influence turning Sheriff into a drunken mess.
  • Training from Hell: How he teaches Rusty literally anything.
  • Trigger-Happy: His trigger finger is perpetually itchy and has frequently killed numerous innocent people for no reason other than he just can.
  • Villain Protagonist: Pretty much. Early is a vile squid who regularly breaks the law, abuses his friends and family, is impossibly selfish and petty, and barely shows any kindness to make up for it.
  • Would Hit a Girl: He has no reserves about taking his anger out on Lil or Granny.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He hurts Rusty on a daily basis, and at one point, he's shown to be perfectly willing to drown a sack full of his nephews and nieces due to not being able to take care of them.
  • Yandere: For Krystal. He's something of a weird example as he can't stand her (other than for sex) but he also can't stand someone else being with her either.

    Ruby Jean "Granny" Cuyler

Early and Lil's mom (or "grandmom", it's not really clear. Not even she knows anymore). A perverted, senile old squid with a walker. She frequently gets confused and lost over current situations, randomly falls asleep on a dime, and regularly forgets important memories and names of people. Granny is a huge nymphomaniac and has hit on everyone, regardless of their gender or species. That includes her own family. She is likely suffering from almost every illness and problem an old person would get. Not that Early would ever care. Granny is effectively Early's slave and chew toy. She does all of his bidding despite being too old and weak. While overall the most pathetic of the Cuylers, she still has her moments of awfulness and it becomes clear that her influence is a major reason for why her son is the way he is.

Voiced by: Dana Snyder

  • Ascended Extra: Just appeared for 1 scene each, during the pilot episode, but absent in the second episode. Somewhere around the 3rd episode, she came to live with Early, becoming a regular character.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: While her love for Early seems to be tenuous at best, she does genuinely love her grandson Rusty a lot more — even if she's not good at showing it and is usually unable to help him. This is shown greatly in the Series Finale where she incapacitates Early with a frying pan right when he was about to beat Rusty with a shovel and then tells Rusty in her own warped way to get out of the family before the cycle of abuse continues and join Tammi in leaving Dougal County. She even lets him keep her wedding ring to give to Tammi for their marriage.
  • Back from the Dead: Enforced. Whenever Granny dies or is on the verge of death, Squid Jesus does everything in his power to keep her alive. Not out of fondness, but staving off the inevitable of having to deal with her inane, endless ramblings in the afterlife. In one episode, Granny's spirit finally passes on, but Squid Jesus has her soul forcibly taken back to her body.
  • Butt-Monkey: Arguably the biggest one of the Cuyler clan. She is frequently subjected to all sorts of slapstick gorey mayhem, Early loves to maim her as well as usually making her his slave, and has died more times than one can count.
  • The Chew Toy: Early loves abusing all of his "loved ones" but Granny is his favorite. He even admits to seeing her as his personal stress toy.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Of the kooky old lady variety.
  • Compulsive Liar: Even in lucid moments she is perenially full of it. For example, when she was telling the story of the family history. She starts by claiming she was born a slave and that they were actually happy, so happy they had happy contests where they played jump rope with the whips, and she was owned by Rhett Butler (the male lead from Gone With the Wind.) Somehow, it actually goes further downhill from there. Eventually stating General Sherman was Rusty's great-grandfather, asking if they buy that. (They do!)
  • Death Seeker: Many episodes show that she craves her own death. Her virtual fantasy has her committing suicide.
  • Depending on the Writer: She can be just as crazy as Early, but there are also several moments where she holds the Sanity Ball and acts more like a passive Straight Man, albeit one with huge Cloud Cuckoolander tendencies.
  • Dirty Old Woman: Big time. One of the reasons she keeps coming back from the brink of death is because Squid Jesus can't take her advances and then there's that one scene with a passed out Lil (after telling Early off for trying to do the same thing).
  • The Dog Bites Back: Whenever she gets the upper hand over Early, she almost always enacts her revenge. Such as in "Tortuga de Mentiras", where she kills Early with a sniper rifle.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: In the Series Finale, she finally passes on. While initially disappointed with her afterlife, she finds begrudging happiness in reuniting with Gaga Pee Pap' spirit. There's also her getting some sweet payback on Early by whacking him multiple times with a pan.
  • Extreme Doormat: Shoved around constantly by Early and is usually forced to do his bidding.
  • Extreme Omnisexual: Will try to have sex with anything: men, women, her children, animals, non-sentient objects, literal monsters and her dementia-induced hallucinations.
  • Gag Penis: She sometimes likes to pretend that her middle tentacle is a giant penis since it is between the two other tentacles that she dangles. In "One Man Banned" she opens her trenchcoat in front of Leroy as if flashing him with her middle tentacle twirling around.
  • Hidden Depths: She's multilingual, as she is shown speaking Arabic in "America: Why I Love Her" as well as Spanish in "Asses to Ashes, Sluts to Dust".
    • She is apparently a published author, her book "E Is for Equine" making a brief appearance in episode five of season two.
  • Killed Off for Real: After repeatedly dying and coming back to life throughout the series, the final episode has her passing away from old age and this time she stays dead.
  • Loveable Sex Maniac: Averted, she's a Dirty Old Woman, Granny's advances are often treated like that of an Abhorrent Admirer. That doesn't stop her and she has been arrested for public indecency many times and rape at least once.
  • Made of Iron: Granny can take an insane amount of punishment. In "Double Truckin' the Tricky Two" Dan Halen tried to tear her apart by tying her to two trucks that are driving in opposite directions. Granny's body gets stretched several miles but she's no worse for wear.
  • Parental Abandonment: She was abandoned as an infant at the post office in a box labelled "free baby" by her mother, who doesn't even try to apologize or explain her actions.
  • Racist Grandma: Can't stand white people, or as she calls them "Chalkies". She is also deeply homophobic, which is ironic considering she is pansexual.
  • Scatterbrained Senior: Tends to forget what she's talking about in mid-sentence...of course, she likely wasn't making much sense to begin with. Like the time she claimed Jesus appeared to her telling her that it was tax-free weekend, so she got mad, they started yelling and she ripped his throat out and now they need to hide his body.
  • Stronger Than They Look: When push comes to shove, she can easily overpower Early. Too bad she is too senile and weak-willed so it never comes up that much.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Like Early, she often dies. In some cases, she dies and immediately comes back in the next scene as if nothing happened.
  • Together in Death: After dying for good in the series finale, she's reunited with Gaga Pee Pap in Heaven.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: She becomes more unambiguously nice in later episodes.
  • Undignified Death: After going through the entire show enduring all sorts of chaotic and gruesome deaths, how does Granny officially die in the Grand Finale? Her body simply stops working mid sentence of a conversation with Rusty.

    Russell "Rusty" Cuyler

Early's dimwitted, but more well-meaning and kindhearted son. He is the most moral-focused of the Cuylers and is usually the first person to realize that they are doing something wrong; though his gullibility and naivety often made him overlook their atrocities. Rusty wants his father to love him and frequently follows his vile actions in hopes of bonding. But just like with Granny, Early does not truly love Rusty and the latter is regularly abused, maimed, and taken advantage of. However as time went on Rusty became much more mature. He got a girlfriend named Tammi, eventually concieved a son named Macho Man Randy, and had to financially provide for them. These developments shifted Rusty from an easily-influenced "Well Done, Son" Guy to a genuine Only Sane Man who just wants to live a normal life with his loved ones. Nowadays Rusty regularly shows distaste over his father's nasty exploits and often tries to put a stop to them or at least set things right.

Voiced by: Daniel McDevitt

  • Butt-Monkey: Guaranteed to suffer just by being Early’s son.
  • Characterization Marches On: Originally a very childish, naive, "Well Done, Son" Guy, and would often take part in his family's vile misadventures. As the years passed he's wisened up enough to become the Token Good Teammate of the Cuylers, the Only Sane Man and is quick to object to any of their heinous actions. His "Well Done, Son" Guy status seems to teeter between episodes. This is very much due to the show's only story arc where he's raising a family that isn't affected by Negative Continuity.
  • Calling the Old Man Out: Once he became less naive, Rusty is the first to object Early's villainous actions — but Early always disregards him.
    • In "Events by Russell", he is very aware of how chaotic and asshole-ish Early tends to be and wants no part of him in his new party business.
    • In "Who Gives a Flip?", he is genuinely furious at Early when he stole Sheriff's precious mascot mask and was the first to try and get it back.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: He is surprisingly adept at physical combat. He once ambushed and gave a well-deserved No-Holds-Barred Beatdown on Early and Dan Halen. When he and Early duke it out when the latter had ruined his party business, Rusty is the victor and proceeds to rip off his father's throat in a fit of blind rage.
  • Doting Parent: While he has issues finding ways to take care of him properly, Rusty clearly cares for his son Randy. Too bad the Cuylers are such a Doom Magnet that Tammi is usually the one to always take care of Randy far away from the likes of Early and Granny..
  • Dumbass No More: The only character in the show to actually become smarter over the years. In the later seasons he is the only Cuyler member to steadily hold jobs and only loses them when Early and Granny get involved. He occasionally lapses back to his old, naive self now and then, but it is mostly played for a quick gag.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: By the end, he and Tammi leave Dougal County for good and get married, raising a happy family with Randy and having several other children.
  • Egg-Laying Male: In "Butt Trouble", he and Early lay eggs after they drink too much mercury. Though a far later episode in season 11 reveals that he can lay eggs as Appalachian Mud Squids are equipped with both male and female genitals.
  • Good Parents: A bumbling and idiotic one, but unlike Early, he loves his son Randy and tries providing for him. In his own boneheaded way.
  • Half-Human Hybrid: Squid father, human mother.
  • The Heart: Of the Cuylers. Too bad almost no one listens to him.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: The kid has been a Butt-Monkey since he was born.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Though he can be a Jerkass, he genuinely loves his family and often expresses doubt at his family's more morally questionable actions.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Downplayed. He exhibits stereotypical redneck interests and behaviors like Early. However, unlike his father, Rusty isn't as naturally violent and has a better sense of morals.
  • Only Sane Man: Not on a consistent basis, but he's the only one even approaching this in the Cuyler Clan. Given the prominent inbreeding in the Cuyler clan, his being born to a completely unrelated woman is likely why he ended up so well.
  • Overly Long Name: His full name is "Russell Jesse James Kenny the Gambler Rogers Number Three The Intimidator Dale Earnhardt Kenny the Gambler Rogers America's Number One Cuyler".
  • Smarter Than You Look: On his better days he is way more smart than the show leads him to be. In "Dove in an Iron Cage", he almost effortlessly breaks out of prison when he was wrongfully committed and put on death row.
  • Token Good Team Mate: The closest thing to one. While he can be just as cruel as his family he tends to be the one to object to his families more evil acts. Pronounced more in later episodes.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: In the latter half of the show he becomes much more morally aware of his actions and usually tries to be better than the rest of his family.
  • "Well Done, Son" Guy: Most of the time, Early isn't too nice to him and is usually quick to forget him, but Rusty just wants to make him proud, often going out of his way to impress him in everything he does and (unsucessfully) emulate Early's overtly prejudiced and myopic view of the world.
    • This is trope is usually averted once Rusty had started to raise Randy and became aware of what a good father actually is.

    Lilith "Lil" Cuyler

Early's frequently passed out, meth-making (and meth using) sister.

Voiced by: Patricia French

  • A Day in the Limelight: "Green and Sober".
  • Addled Addict: Or, depending the episode, Functional Addict, either way, she smokes so much that her blood is mostly cigarette smoke.
  • The Bus Came Back: Since "Forever Autumn" Lil has been absent from the show. This is later explained in "Ol' Hootie", where it turns out that the events of "Green and Sober" still apply. She is (mostly) sober now and has moved in with her boyfriend in an effort to both better herself and avoid Early.
  • Demoted to Extra: Courtesy of being passed out almost every episode. After she became sober, her diminished role is explained in the final season in which it is revealed she is now sober, moved in with her new boyfriend, and making an active effort in avoiding Early's influence.
  • Out of Focus: Lil' spends most of seasons 2 & 3 face down in her own vomit. It's revealed she's secretly running a pot growing operation in the basement through a hole in the floor.
    • Lil didn't make an appearance in Season 10.
    • In Seasons 11 & 12, she only made one-shot appearances.
  • Really Gets Around: Not as much as Krystal, but she still gets around. In "Green and Sober" alone, she does Ellis (Three times) the guitar player of the band, a man's wife, and a pervert from the Reverends addict group.
  • The Smart Guy: By Cuyler standards, anyway. She's the only one smart enough to know how to run the meth lab. In one episode, her constant state of being passed out is revealed to be a cover for her running a marijuana grow farm run by naked illegal Mexican immigrants in a massive space underneath the Cuyler house, as she communicates with her workers through a hole in the floor.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: She becomes sober in "Green and Sober" and decides to quit making drugs as well. While the episode ends on a comedically banal note of Lil being bored out of her mind during her new normal job, she shows no signs of going back. In "Ol' Hootie" we see that she eventually went fully straight; she got a nice boyfriend, is still trying to be sober, and has moved out.
  • The Voiceless: Has largely become this, if she shows up at all.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: According to Early, "She ain't wore a shirt since 89". What you've been looking at isn't her chin.

    Hezekiah Ray "Ga-Ga-Pee-Pap" Cuyler (AKA: "Twelve Gun" Cuyler)

Early and Lil's freewheeling criminal father and Granny's ex-husband. Apparently raised the both of them before running off to who knows where.

Voiced by: Jesco White

  • Abusive Parents: Watch a few scenes with him, and you immediately see why Early and Lil are the way they are.
  • Back for the Finale: His ghost appears again in the Series Finale, where he reunites with Granny's spirit and eventually reconciles with her.
  • Catchphrase: "I got you again!" and, in his first episode, "Allegedly!"
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Even by Cuyler standards, he's out there.
  • Depraved Bisexual: Though he prefers to keep his incest separate from his homosexual encounters, he would forcibly make out with his grandson Rusty.
    Pee-Pap: Hey now, I said related is fine but it's gotta be a woman! I ain't into boys... as much.
  • Incurable Cough of Death: Got lung cancer from his "Healthy Sticks" and eventually coughed his lungs out of his body.
  • Put on a Bus to Hell: Literally. The last time we ever see him (not counting flashbacks) is when he, as a ghost, goes to Hell, mistakenly believing that he's going to Heaven. He seems to be doing better if the finale is anything to go by.
  • The Stoic: In sharp contrast to his fiery, intense son, Pee-Pap's even keeled and unflappable.

    Dr. Bug 
Voiced by: Todd Barry
A large squid who works as a doctor at the local hospital, Dr. Bug is the abandoned son (the nature his blood relationship to her has been confirmed, but never specified) of Granny Cuyler, but he takes great pains to hide it and to distance himself from the family. Thinking she was on her death bed while hospitalized, Granny tells him that she "never meant to flush him down the toilet" and that he was "always her favorite". Apparently in grudging recognition of this family connection, he then surreptitiously offers to donate his gallbladder to save Granny's life. A similar character named Bug (an acronym for Big Uncle Grandpa) appeared in original pilot scripts.
  • Back for the Finale: Returns briefly in the Series Finale at Granny's funeral.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: After the Season 3 episode "Sharif", he never appeared in the show even again.
  • Long-Lost Relative: He is in fact an abandoned member of the family, he only met the cuyler's a few times like in the episode "Family Trouble"."
  • Recurring Extra: Subverted in later seasons & this was before his disappearance, but he did make it three episodes of Season 2 & in Season 3's "Sharif" as a background character.

    Herschel Walker Cuyler
"Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs Is Hell Don't They", AKA Herschel Walker is the infant son of Lil Cuyler and an unknown man. He is also the nephew and surrogate son of Early Cuyler. Herschel is the brother of a large litter however he did not associate with them, and would rather act like Early, he has never had a proper speaking role and has said the same lines, which is for a strange reason the same yell given off by early.
  • A Day in the Limelight: His debut in "The Good One".
  • Parental Favoritism: Early loved Herschel in his debut episode & considered him to be his favorite of Lil's children.
  • The Cameo: He makes a cameo in "Ga-Ga Ghost" on a missing child picture on a milk carton. He makes another cameo in the Series Finale, where his likeness appears on Early's family tree chart.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: It's currently unknown what happened to Herschel after he left, his cameo in "Ga-Ga Ghost" makes a whole lot of sense.

    Durwood Cuyler

White Sheep of the Cuyler clan. Got a GED, and ran off to the big city, marrying a white woman.

Dougal County Citizens

    In General 
  • Butt-Monkey: Living in Dougal County is not easy as they all become victims to the criminal shenanigans Early is performing and the horrific whims of Dan Halen, or encountering with whatever strange alien/monster/supernatural incidents that the town attracts.
  • Characterization Marches On: They used to be protrayed as your typical dumb, easily-swayed, and violent rednecks. As time went on, they signficantly mellowed out and became mostly normal, albeit dimwitted citizens.
  • Monster Town: In the show's earlier years, Dougal County can be seen as this. As alongside humans, Dougal County is populated with mud squids, giant squids, horrific gigantic monsters, aliens, dancing deep-fried boobies (birds), a timeless embodiement of evil, a snake-man, a tear-drop person, bizarre color-shaped people, and a Clone Army of malformed sheriffs. By the final seasons, much of their anomalous citizens have been phased out of the show in favor of just regular humans.
    Sheriff Sharif

The rather hapless, useless, and frequently killed lawman of Dougal County. He is kind to a fault and has a goofy, sometimes childish demeanor. Sheriff is one of the saner residents in town but is still quite dumb and gullible at times. He is the Only Friend of the Cuylers and the only person in town who makes an effort to socialize with them. His efforts to be nice around them usually ends up with the poor sap getting used and abused by Early. Though Sheriff is too nice and is easy to forgive Early no matter how bad he gets treated by him. He is actually a product of a long line of sheriff clones from Dan Halen's Clone Army, but later episodes have disregarded it.

Voiced by: Charles Napier(Episodes 1-7) Bobby Ellerbee(Episode 8-onwards)

  • Affably Evil: Sheriff is "on the take" with Dan Halen, the evil Corrupt Corporate Executive of the town, and frequently does his evil bidding. Despite that he is still a total Nice Guy and one of the few people in the show to be mostly good.
  • Ascended Extra: He's practically one of the main characters as of now.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: While generally good-natured, he can be pretty mean under the right circumstances, such as threatening Early at gunpoint to learn how to read or tasering the Cuylers for not liking his stand-up comedy.
  • Butt-Monkey: Is frequently bullied, manipulated, used, and injured by the likes of Early and Dan Halen.
  • Clones Are People, Too: Even to Early!
  • Clone Army: Part of one, though it hasn't come up in recent seasons, in favor of developing our singular Sharif more. It is last seen in "The Big Gay Throwdown" back in season 5, afterwards it's never mentioned or directly seen again.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "The Peep", "Vicki", "Jacksonville Jackass", "Sharif", and "Blue Lives Battered.".
  • Dirty Cop: He's on the take for Dan Halen, but considering he's part of Dan Halen's clone army it's to be expected. Not like that stops him from repossessing Dan Halen's home once he runs out of bribe money in "Rich Dan, Poor Dan".
  • The Dog Bites Back: He shoots Dan Halen in the head with a gun for bullying him in high school in the episode "Class of '86".
  • Dumbass Has a Point: He was the only to consider destroying Ol' Hootie's eggs but no one listened to him. The eggs hatch offscreen and the gigantic baby owls wreak unstoppable havoc across town.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: In the Series Finale, he and Denny plan on starting a podcast together and let Rusty and Tammi go after stealing Early's truck so they can live a happier life away from him.
  • Expendable Clone: Frequently killed and replaced by the next Sharif in line. When Sheriff had run off with his new boyfriend in "The Big Gay Throwdown", the Cuylers promptly go to the "Cloning Farm" and get a new Sheriff.
  • Extreme Doormat: Early takes full advantage of the Sheriff's kindness.
  • Friendly Enemy: While probably the only person the Cuylers can consider an actual friend, he has regularly thrown them (mostly Early) in jail for their various wrongdoings. There have even been rare occasions where he had to beat Early into submission before arresting him.
  • Manchild: His general demeanor is very goofy and childish.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: What compelled Dan Halen to clone him for his army?
  • Naked on Arrival: Subverted. The sheriff clones in the clone farm start out naked but grow uniforms as they ripen.
  • Nice Guy: Is a genuine nice fellow who wants the best for everyone and has a high patience with the Cuylers. Unfortunately, his stupidity and Extreme Doormat status causes him to tilt away from this every now and then.
  • No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: He's one of the few people who tries to see the good in the Cuylers and goes out of his way to hang out with, and even support them on a daily basis. Too bad he always suffers because of it. He gets this from his father, who similarly attempted the same and failed. In a weird way, it eventually paid off in the end, as the two remaining Cuyler folk who can still escape the cycle of poverty and abuse (Rusty and Lil) did escape and went off to live better lives, partly due to his influence. He was the one who helped Lil go into sobriety which would eventually lead to her getting a job, a boyfriend, and eventually moving out of the Cuyler's. He let Rusty and Tammi off the hook for stealing Early's treasured truck so they can have a happy life away from crapsack town Dougal County.
  • No-Respect Guy: In spite of being the sheriff of the town, he is the least-respected character in the whole show and gets pushed around by every Jerkass or criminal in the show.
  • Only Friend: Has the misfortune of being one of the very few people Early would consider a friend.
  • Plant Person: The sheriff clones in the "cloning farm" are depicted as growing on corn-like plants.
  • Police Are Useless: Just the way Dan Halen likes it. While Sheriff would try his best to enforce the law, he is so damn gullible and kind that he hardly poses as a threat.
  • Super-Soldier: Parodied. Dan Halen selected the original Sharif as the template for his army because he wanted an army of, in the current Sheriff's own words, "nicotine-addicted super warriors with marginal strength and hypersensitivity to pain".
  • They Killed Kenny Again: He dies frequently, sometimes multiple times an episode.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: Being a Butt-Monkey among a show full of Butt Monkies, his chances of not dying or getting screwed over by anyone is pretty slim. However....
    • In "Mud Dazed and Cornfused", he is spared by the giant corn monster in a plant-based apocalypse because of his corn face tatoo.
    • He gets some sweet revenge on Dan Halen in "Class of '86" after remembering how the cruel lout had bullied him throughout his school years. Of course it is borderline Disproportionate Retribution as his method of revenge was shooting him point-blank to his head, but considering it's Dan Halen, it is still well deserved.
    • After getting brutally beaten up by a drunken Early and then having his beat-up uploaded online for everyone to watch, "Blue Lives Battered" ends with a genuine Friendship Moment between him and Early.
    • The Series Finale also ends with him in a pretty good place. Him and Denny start a podcast together and after the Time Skip we see that Rusty (along with his new family) still keeps good contact with him after all the years, showing that his efforts to save what little left there is of the Cuyler Clan paid off and is acknowledged.
  • Too Dumb to Live: At one point, he had to be reminded not to put something in his mouth. In that same episode, we find out that it wasn't the first time he put something in his mouth to figure out what it was.
    • He also 'invented' the "Hillbilly Hazmat Suit", which consists of making a full-body hooded suit out of trashbags and duct tape. Then placing duct tape over the mouth and nose to avoid breathing in toxic fumes. And THEN duct taping a bag over your head.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: He's probably the only living thing that would consider Early a friend.
  • We Have Reserves: The whole Dougal County police force is made of clones, meaning Sheriffs are easily expendable. Less so in later episodes, which generally depict a single Sharif and Denny as the only officers in the county and the concept of the clone farm being dropped (or at least never acknowledged).

    Deputy Denny
A tiny, malformed Sharif clone, and basically the Sheriff's right hand man. He was originally just as dumb as the regular Sheriff but later episodes show that he is more competent and smart than him. Due to his small stature however he is never treated as such and is often shown even less respect than Sheriff.
Voiced by: Dave Willis

  • Ascended Extra: Like Sharif, he's become a larger, more fleshed-out character in later episodes.
  • Big Damn Heroes: He proves to be a hell of a lot more competent than our regular Sheriff when he rescued Early and Ellis from a Literal Cliffhanger situation when they had crashed their plane into the cliffside.
  • Characterization Marches On: In his first appearance, he's even more half-witted than the regular Sheriff. Following appearances have him alternate between a borderline Hypercompetent Sidekick and a Manchild. Near the end of the series he settled in somewhere inbetween.
  • Covert Pervert: Despite his nice and innocent personality, Sharif had discovered that he's into tentacle porn.
  • Depending on the Writer: He's either the practical Straight Man to Sharif or just as useless as him.
  • The Dog Bites Back: In "Scorn on the 4th of July" he manages to publicly humiliate Early and reveal his stolen valor act after constantly getting shoved around and made fun of by him.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He is deeply disturbed by Early and Granny's vaguely incestous ways.
  • No-Respect Guy: Just like Sheriff he is regularly treated like a nuisance by Early.
  • Number Two: To whatever Sharif clone is currently the Sheriff.
  • Older Than They Look: Due to his small size he is seen as an immature kid by most people even though he's in his forties. It doesn't help that he shares the Sheriff's Manchild tendencies.
  • The Rival: Briefly became this to Rusty when he started dating Tammi.

    Dan Halen

A cold, ruthless, intelligent and despicably evil sasquatch-like creature. He is the CEO of Dan Halen Sheetrock International and practically controls the whole town with his vast wealth. Dan is the smartest man in town (though it's not a high bench to reach) and is an expert at manipulating people for his own gain. He has a penchant of enacting complicated schemes that usually end with a lot of people dying or suffering. He shows no remorse for any bad deeds and even relishes in the misery he causes. Due to his immense power, he can get away with just about any evil thing he wants. Dan Halen rivals Early as the main antagonist of the series.

Voiced by: Todd Hanson

  • 0% Approval Rating: No one likes him. They only respect him due to his immense power. In "Rich Dan, Poor Dan", he immediately becomes a loser who is forced to hang out with the Cuylers when he becomes bankrupt.
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: He claims his junk is retractable.
  • Big Bad: At least when Early isn't.
  • Cephalothorax: He's basically a giant egg-shaped...thing...with a face, limbs, and hair.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: He owns the biggest corporation in Dougal County, and takes full advantage of it.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Various episodes most notably, "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen", "Pile M for Murder", "Taint Misbehavin", & "Rich Dan, Poor Dan".
  • Evil Redhead: Has red hair and has done some seriously deplorable actions throughout the show.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: Has a deep voice and possibly the only character more evil than Early.
  • Expy: Of Mr. Burns with a voice similar to Sideshow Bob's.
  • Faux Affably Evil: He's very well spoken and witty for being such a despicable individual.
  • Fiction 500: He's rich enough to own a lake entirely made of expensive wine.
  • Hate Sink: The most irredeemable character in the whole show bar Early and has little to no sympathetic qualities to justify it.
  • Historical Rap Sheet: He has one stretching back to the dawn of time. This includes killing cavemen and the dinosaurs, led sacrifices during the Aztec era, torturing political prisoners during medieval times, crucifying Jesus, enslaving the Egyptians, spreading the Black Death, being a Nazi leader along Hitler, and participating in the police riot outside the 1968 Democratic convention where he assaulted a man with a chain. Dan Halen's done a lot of evil and he of course, downplays his involvement in all of these, despite extensive documentary evidence that he was VERY involved.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: All of his deaths have been this in some form.
  • The Illuminati: Leads two such cabals, the Serpents in the Round (which has nationwide, if not global, influence) and, assuming Sharif wasn't making the whole story up, the Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet (which is seemingly limited to northern Georgia).
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Has shown cannibalistic qualities from time to time.
  • Karma Houdini: Can avoid almost every punishment due to the amount of power he has over everyone. However...
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Few and far between, but the series has shown that even Dan Halen isn't untouchable.
    • In "Mud Days and Cornfused" he creates a mass-growing corn maze hopes of creating a profitable new business, not even caring that it presumably killed everyone in town. Said corn maze becomes sentient and rips Dan Halen in half by the mouth.
    • In "The Class of '86" Sheriff remembers his repressed memories where Dan Halen had bullied him in high school. Realizing that Dan Halen has been pushing him around his whole life, Sheriff shoots him point blank to his head.
    • In "The Granite Caverns" he is crushed by Lester's Penis (the granite formation) and dies in a cave-in. He even yells "I've received my comeuppance at last!"
    • In "Flight of the Deep Fried Pine Booby", we last see him hogtied inside his burning building.
    • He gets accidentally lit on fire by one of the Sheriff clones in "A Sober Sunday".
    • In "The Inkubator Lives!" he gets beaten up by Rusty.
    • In "Forever Autumn" he is forced to work for the living tree people to the point that he may be even worshipping them. Also the first time he's been shown to EVER be scared of anyone.
    • "Rich Dan, Poor Dan" is an entire episode about Dan Halen being humbled after he becomes bankrupt. Briefly.
    • In "Ol' Hootie", despite being the only one in town with the power to stop the titular giant owl, he lets it continue it's rampage because it meant that the Cuylers would eventually be picked off by it. His inaction led to Ol' Hootie's eggs hatching and he gets taken away by one of them, presumably to be eaten.
  • Manipulative Bastard: This is how he controls Dougal County. For example in "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums," Dan Halen whips everyone into a frenzy by telling them Barack Obama is putting "Fluoride" in the water supply to sterilize the town (despite the fact that Fluoride is there to prevent tooth decay).
  • Naked People Are Funny: Wears no clothes and is Laughably Evil.
  • No Knees: Exemplied literally as one episode shows his struggles with his kneeless anatomy and shows off the one cause he genuinely cares about: Helping people who like him, were born without knees... of which he is the only member of it (the last and only member was an old guy who lost his legs, to which Halen didn't approve as while he wasn't born with knees he WAS born with feet and legs, which he promptly uses to literally kick said man out).
  • Our Demons Are Different: While it's unclear exactly who or what Dan Halen is, all evidence points to him being some kind of hellspawn (immortal, pure evil, associated with Satanic imagery etc.).
  • Out of Focus: While still appearing often, Dan Halen's prominence has been slowly diminishing. In the final season he practically has zero relevancy after the premiere, not even appearing in the Series Finale.
  • Pet the Dog:
    • In "The War on the War of Christmas" he gives in, along with everyone else into Early's commands if it meant that Early wont kill Randy Cuyler via, throwing him off from the top of the building-sized Christmas tree. He was also the first person to grab the Christmas tree when it began to tilt downwards, urging everyone else to do the same. Ironically enough, this is one of the few episodes where Dan Halen dies.
    • In "Forever Autumn" he finally lets Glenn do his Gravy Museum idea.
    • In "One Man Banned" he opens a completely non-malicious dollar store. Sure, the products they sell are far from decent but coming from Dan Halen, it's the closest we get to him being an honest bussinessman. He even happily lets the Cuylers go into his store and only once they overstayed their welcome he harmlessly gives them the boot by using a laser pointer to lure them out.
  • Polite Villains, Rude Heroes: "Hero" may not be the right word to describe Early, but Dan Halen has significantly better social graces, though he's even more of a vile person considering the crimes he's gotten away with.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Only openly one when supporting prejudice stands to give him money though. When he thinks he has more to gain from promoting inclusivity, he will begrudgingly do so.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Is apparently over 20,000 years old, making him the oldest character in the entire show.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The entire city of Chattanooga, Tennessee is his, according to the episodes where he schemes to make Dougal County a better tourist trap.
  • The Sociopath: Unlike Early, who is a low-functioning example, Dan Halen is a straight high-functioning one. He's much more intelligent than Early and can act charming when he wants, but he's still mean and self-centered and will gleefully kill, steal, and ruin people's lives to get what he wants.
  • Time Abyss: He's existed since the beginning of recorded history.
  • Villain Decay: Downplayed. Originally the near unstoppable ruler of Dougal County with fingers in pies worldwide, in recent season the emphasis has been put on him as a Corrupt Corporate Executive who is always trying to find a way to get more money, however scummy it is.

A monstrously fat, monstrously ugly, and monstrously skanky freeloader, who lives in the local junkyard, she is also Rusty's mother in the series, along with the Ex-Wife of Early & Snakeman.
Voiced by: Mary Kraft

  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episode "Krystal, Light"
  • Lazy Bum: So much so, the county declared her a local landmark as "Georgia's first outdoor shut-in".
  • Missing Mom: To Rusty. She left him on Lil's porch in a bucket of chicken when he was a baby. We find out a bit too late that she's this to Tammie.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: How exactly does she move? She's seen as background character or in places other than her junkyard but we never see her move or walk (outside of one episode, when she was married to Dan Halen and she had to be helped in that one time). It is implied that the fire department are the ones who help her move around town.
  • Out of Focus: In the eleventh season of Squidbillies, she only appeared in "The War on The War on Christmas", this is ultimately subverted in Season 12 since she made more appearances.
  • Really Gets Around: In Early's words, she's "Done the Unskinny Bop" with practically every living being in Dougal County...along with Charlie Sheen and all of the members of .38 Special.
  • Recurring Extra: She appears in many episodes & sometimes as a background character.


Early's perpetually uninterested and abused coworker.

Voiced by: Dave Willis

  • Butt-Monkey: He is frequently roped in by Early's shenanigans and is often humiliated by Dan Halen.
  • Catchphrase: "Have a good 'un."
  • Closer to Earth: One of the most regular characters in the show, who also has ties to Jerkass Early and Corrupt Corporate Executive Dan Halen.
  • Depending on the Writer: His personal life frequently shifts. While he is consistently shown to be married Donna, the rest of his life seems to change from episode to episode. In "The Class of '86" he claims that his children died in a fire while in a later episode they appear just fine. In "One Man Banned" it is mentioned that Donna actually divorced him quite some time ago, but given the show, things will likely snap back.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "Trucked Up 2: Glenn's Revenge".
  • Dull Surprise: Even when he's getting his ass whipped.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: Glenn was voiced by Todd Barry in his debut episode, making him sound different from his later appearances who is voiced by Dave Willis & has a much different sounding voice.
  • Everyone Has Standards: He may dislike Early, but even he thought that killing him with a sniper rifle might've been too much. Granny shoots him in the leg in response.
  • The Everyman: Fills this role in a town filled mostly with weirdoes. Played to depressing extremes in "Glenn's Revenge", where we see just how banal and painfully boring his life is outside of Cuyler antics.
  • Not So Above It All: He becomes just a little bit more looser as time went on. In "The Reenactment of the Repulsion of the Siege of Cuyler Mountain", he willingly joined in on the cannonball fight and in "One Man Banned" he became radicalized and went under the alter-ego 'The Banisher'.
  • Outliving One's Offspring: His kids died in a fire. This is retconned in later episodes.
  • Straight Man: When paired with Early, most notably in "Limbitless".
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: According to Early, anyway. What with his frequent lusting after his wife.
  • Vocal Evolution: Had a much higher voice in early episodes, compared to the deep baritone he developed later.

Glenn's wife or Donna and the object of Early's perverse obsession when he's not chasing Krystal

Voiced by: Dana Swanson

  • All There in the Script: Her name being "Donna" doesn't come up very often in the show, but it's there if you look for it.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: In the season 1 finale "Office Politics Trouble", Early calls Glenn's Wife named "Donna" while in the elevator, however in Later episodes she is just called Glenn's Wife.
    • When she was first introduced she was married to a background character, not Glenn, this happened later when Glenn was also introduced, also technically happened in the first couple of seasons of the show.
    • This is later subverted in Later seasons since she is only with Glenn not the background character.
  • Flat Character: Not much is known about her other than the fact that she's Glenn's wife and that she runs a catering business
    • She was a school teacher seen in "Taint Mishavin'" however.
  • Nice Guy: One of the few consistently nice characters in the show.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Downplayed mostly due to the artstyle, but she is noted to be looking "finer than hell" by Early.
  • Ship Tease: There are a few hints that she has an interest in Early. On one occasion even though she tells Glenn that she hates him and that he's just a stalker, she asks Early to call her right as he and Rusty leave the couples property. On another occasion, she sucks a dying Early's toes when asked without much resistance.


A gap-toothed, more sane minded redneck girl, and Rusty's first girlfriend. Also the mother of his son, Macho Man Randy Cuyler.

Voiced by: Elizabeth Cook

  • Beware the Nice Ones: She is usually passive and patient with almost everyone. That being said.. she isn't afraid to pepper spray Early or put a restraining order on him if he goes too far.
  • Closer to Earth: Compared to...damn near everyone else in Dougal County, she's got a level head on her shoulders.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "Muscadine Wine".
  • Immune to Slapstick: Aside from an instance where Early almost killed her, she's usually spared from the gorey slapstick hijinks that everyone else is subjected to.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: While she frequently puts down Rusty's attempts at parenting Randy, she is aware that he means well and occasionally relents when actually does good.

    Macho Man Randy Cuyler
Tammi and Rusty's inbred son. Unlike his father he appears as a normal human baby, which causes several to question if he is really Rusty's child, however, "Ink is Thicker Than Blood, Which is Thicker Than Water", when his diaper is removed he is revealed to possess a set of tentacles along with his other appendages, proving that he is quarter mud-squid. For the most part, Rusty cares for his son and tries to be a good father to him, while Early is antagonistic towards his grandson and treats him in much the same way as he treats Rusty.

Unlucky proprietor of the local convenience store, and frequent victim of robberies from Early.
Voiced by: Pete Smith

  • Butt-Monkey: Robbed almost daily by Early, usually getting his hand blown off before it's over.
  • Character Tic: He's so conditioned from robberies that he frequently talks with his hands held up.
  • Killed Off for Real: When his Voice Actor Pete Smith retired, he was permanently offed in the season 11 premiere.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: His death in "Dove in an iron Cage" is what kickstarts the plot of Rusty being wrongfully imprisoned.

The town reverend. A put upon man of the cloth who is no fan of the Cuylers.
Voiced by: Scott Hilley

  • Butt-Monkey: In spades. A notable example being when the rapture happened, he was one of the few left behind despite his devotion to God while the sign of a strip club was apparently more worthy of ascending than him.
  • Cartoon Creature: He is a blue tear-drop person. Whether he some sort of mammal that happens to look like a tear drop or an actual living drop of water is unknown.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: "Badass" may be extremely exaggerated, but he is one of the very few people who actually outsmarted Dan Halen. In "A Sober Sunday" he is able to completely foil his scheme on rigging a vote that would allow alcohol to be sold on sunday.
  • Black Comedy Rape: Granny once raped him while under the power of her Beast Implants.
  • Depending on the Writer: He's either one of the more sane people in Dougal County or just as stupid as them.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: Moves to another county far away from the Cuylers, one where his church has an actual roof. Given how sadistic this show can be, this is a genuinely happy sendoff for him.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Even the Reverend, who goes strictly by the Bible, thinks Early's idea of marrying a bear to stop gay marriage is absolutely stupid and doesn't hesitate to tell him sarcastically, asking if he's willing to take the bear's paw in holy matrimony... "To prove your point?"
  • Moral Guardians: Whether or not he's holding the Sanity Ball, being a moralistic busybody is a consistent trait of his.
  • Nervous Wreck: Years of dealing with Cuyler shenanigans has taken its toll on him.
  • Put on a Bus: Shipped off permanently following the death of his VA Scott Hilley.

Snakeman is a resident of Dougal County. He is often seen having relations with Krystal or eating other residents, which have included screen characters and minor characters such as the Mexicans. His origins are unknown, but strange creatures are common in Dougal County, Although he never talks, Snakeman is often seen interacting with the other characters through hissing.
  • Demoted to Extra: Snakeman used to be a common character in the series when it started, however in the later seasons he rarely appears at all.
    • This started in Season 5, where he didn't appear any episode, later in Season 6 he started to be demoted to a background character or making one-shot appearances in a couple of episodes.
  • Funny Animal: He is a Snake Person.
  • Snake People: He is a Snake-Man After all.
  • Snakes Are Sinister: Snakeman has done a couple of crimes in Dougal County, for example, he is seen eating people, he was arrested in the pilot episode, he has eaten the town's sheriff a few times, he had a court sentence for eating his kids off-screen in "Stop, Jammer Time", he was locked in prison in the 22-minute episode "Dove In An Iron Cage".

    Billy Morton 
Voiced by: Nick Ingkatanuwat
Billy Morton is a armless and legless young boy who is also the captain the local high school football team. His father gave him two, two-by-four wooden boards as replacement legs, and two tree limbs as arms, Billy seems to be a very Unlucky character & he is mostly killed his appearances.
  • Recurring Extra: Subverted, But he became background character in the third season of the show.
  • Butt-Monkey: Billy has been killed in many episodes due to the lack of arms & Legs.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Some examples include In the pilot "This Show Is Called Squidbillies", where he is killed after being run over by a truck on the road, in "Sharif", Billy's skin is ripped off by Dan Halen's Ice Wind & turned into a Skeleton, he was lighted on fire in "Condition: Demolition!", in "The Okaleechee Dam Jam", he was in his underwear, wanting to swim in a pool, however when he slides down the pool slide, he falls to his doom into an empty pool & it kills him, he is shown drowning in an icy lake in "Snow Daddy".

    The Mexicans 
Voiced by: Various
The Mexicans are a group of Spanish-speaking men from Mexico that appears in many episodes, they are common Background Characters, they usually don't speak, when they do they speak Spanish. They all have identical faces, but different facial hair. Mexicans in some episodes want Jobs, Sometimes the Mexicans have Major Roles like in "The Fine Ol’ Solution", "Need for Weed" & "Jose, Can You? Si!" for example, in the episode "Need for Weed" Lil' has been shown employing several of them (all in the nude) to work in her pot growing operation.
  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episodes The Fine Ol’ Solution", "Need for Weed" & "Jose, Can You? Si!".
  • Ascended Extra: They are some of the most common characters in the series.
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: Whether they be working for Dan Halen in his various enterprises, construction jobs, fulfilling favors for the other residents, or even working at Lil's secret weed farm.

Voiced by: Katie Kneeland
A news reporter who interviewed Dan Halen. When the interview took a turn unfavorable to Halen, she was killed and replaced with a more accommodating clone. She is one of the few number of people shown to have been cloned by Dan Halen along with The Sheriff. She shares the same design as Glenn's Wife (albeit with brown hair).
  • Bullying a Dragon: In the end of her interview she begins to berate Dan Halen for his many crimes despite knowing damn well he can easily kill her... and he does. She is then replaced with a more lenient clone.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Her Debut in "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen".
  • Recurring Extra: She was initially a One-Shot Character used in a single season three episode, but then made many background appearances starting in season nine. She also attends the Reverend's Church.
  • Clone Army: She had a Clone Army at one point, in her debut.
  • Clones Are People, Too: She was cloned by Dan Halen in her debut.
  • Expendable Clone: Similar to the Sheriff, this happened to her as well.
  • Hartman Hips: A key visual difference between her and Donna, aside from the hair.

Owner/bartender of The Jiggle Hut. One of the few people in town not afraid to fight Early.
Voiced by: Dave Willis

  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episodes "Atone Deaf" & "Events by Russell".
  • The Bartender: He is a bartender of The Jiggle Hut, after all, he is rarely seen outside of the bar.

    Doctor A.K.A. Dr. Donald Cock
The town's seemingly only doctor. A bit of an odd duck.
Voiced by: Brendon Small

  • Characterization Marches On: His incompetent, seemingly mentally disabled persona has all but entirely dropped. He is now more of a regular, if rude, doctor.
  • Doctor Jerk: He is a jerk, but considering he is the only doctor in a town populated with Too Dumb to Live idiots, it is a little bit understandable.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: He is similar to a one-shot character named Dr. Jerry from "Family Trouble", with both of them being doctors at the Dougal County Clinic & having the same voice actor, it's possible that Dr. Cock replaced Dr. Jerry after his death.

    Pastor Kyle Nubbins
The town's new church leader, brought in after the Reverend is shipped off.
Voiced by: Jason Isbell

  • Beware the Nice Ones: Is nothing but kind and patient to Early. But when Early steals his guitar, Kyle is not afraid to give Early his just desserts.
  • Good Shepherd: A genuinely nice, non-corrupt guy. Just don't touch his guitar.
  • Nice Guy: He treats everyone, even the squids with nothing but niceness and understanding. He gave Early a lot slack before getting fed up with his bullshit and banishing him out of town by tying him to a stray dog.
  • Not So Above It All: A somewhat justified example. Even he saw clearly wrong the marriage between Granny and Dewey was. He not so subtly nudged Early to end the marriage as he can see just how seethed Early is over seeing his worst enemy marry his mother.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here: He is wise enough to know when to bolt out of a situation or place before it spirals into insanity. This strategy actually makes him one of the few recurring characters to usually avoid the typical Amusing Injuries or non-canonical deaths that happens to everyone else.


    Squid Jesus
A squid version of Jesus, he is a very polite & mannered squid from Heaven.
Voiced by: Fred Armisen

  • Butt-Monkey: Is forced to listen to Granny's constant illogical ramblings.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Disappears completely halfway through the show with no explanation. This is lampshaded in the finale, where Granny can't find him anywhere in the afterlife.
  • Invisible to Normals: He is invisible and unheard to everyone. Granny is the only person to see Squid Jesus as she is in perpetual state of near death. There have been a couple occasions when he made himself visible to others.
  • Nice Guy: While he can be somewhat dissmissive and annoyed at Granny, he doesn't show any personal animosity at her and there are times where he actively assists and treats her well. He has even admitted that he visits her out of his own volition.

    Squid Satan 
A squid version of Satan, he is a very evil giant squid from Hell.
Voiced by: Jim Fortier

  • A Day in the Limelight: In Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is 'Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation'".
  • Deal with the Devil: Rusty made a deal with him in episode 25.
  • Out of Focus: He doesn't appear that much in the series, unlike Squid Jesus.
  • Put on a Bus to Hell: The last time we ever see Squid Satan in the series is when Ga Ga Pee Pap believed he was going to heaven due to mistaking Satan as a "red Jesus", with Squid Satan sending him to Hell instead.

    Patrick Swayze imposter/Leftless Drifter 
A Legless Drifter who claimed to be actor Patrick Swayze. He appears in the episode "Swayze Crazy" helping The Sheriff remodel the local jail when he is introduced to the Cuylers who are big fans of the movie Roadhouse. However, when the real Patrick Swayze comes to town it would be apparent to almost anyone that the drifter is not Patrick Swayze, except Early, Granny, and the Sheriff (Rusty being the only one who realizes the truth). As a result, the drifter (to Rusty's horror) easily kills the real Patrick Swayze (the Sheriff in typical fashion does nothing to stop it) and is last seen as he steals a pizza delivery man's vehicle while shouting "Free Car, asshole!". However, despite all this Early still believes the man to be Patrick Swayze. In "Plumber Bubba", the Legless Drifter appears in the audience of the Plumber Bubba comedy show (hinting at the possibility he has taken up residence in Dougal County possibly due to the ignorance of the local town folk).
  • A Day in the Limelight: His debut in "Swayze Crazy".
  • Recurring Extra: Patrick Swayze made a couple of background character cameos after his debut, they include "Bubba Trubba", "The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma", "Armageddon It On", "The Okaleechee Dam Jam", "The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube", "Anabolic-holic", "God’s Bro", "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums" & finally in "Return of Gaga Pee Pap".
  • Out of Focus: After his cameo in "Return of Gaga Pee Pap", the imposter stopped appearing in the show, as he didn't make many appearances in the new recent seasons.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: He claimed he was the real Patrick Swayze in his debut episode, "Swayze Crazy".