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This is the official character guide for the Adult Swim show Squidbillies, This character list is currently under heavy construction.

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The Cuyler Clan

    In General 
  • 0% Approval Rating: It's pretty clear that everyone in Dougal County (sans Sheriff, but even he has limits) see the Cuylers as nothing more than the rubbish found under their shoes.
  • Ax-Crazy: They all have their violent episodes.
  • Bloody Hilarious: Gorey injuries are prevalent within the show, but the Cuylers, in particular, seem to be a magnet to them.
  • The Chew Toy: All of them, to the point of being Cosmic Playthings.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: As eccentric as they are disgusting.
  • Depending on the Writer: From their personalities, relationships, how genuinely nice they are, how much they care about each other, how their bodies function, or even their own backstories, nearly everything about them is changed from episode-to-episode due to Negative Continuity. For example, Rusty was originally raised by Lil and Granny while Early was in a state prison, but that is dropped in later episodes.
  • Dysfunctional Family: Early is an Ax-Crazy repeat offender who abuses substances and his family alike, Granny is a racist, nymphomaniacal Scatterbrained Senior, Lil is almost always passed out, and poor Rusty is stuck playing the moral center. Yet, they somehow function as a "family". Notably though, it seems like Early is the catalyst for the dysfunction, as many episodes show the Cuylers can actually be normal (and happy) when he isn't around.
  • Greed: When they're not harassing the local folk, they're trying to get out of their Perpetual Poverty in the most scummiest way possible.
  • Hayseed Name: All of em!
  • Hermaphrodite: As revealed in ''The Ballad of the Latrine Marine", Appalachian mud squids are these. Early does not take learning this well.
  • Hillbilly Horrors: They would be seriously terrifying if they weren't so damn funny.
  • Last of His Kind: The Cuylers are the last degenerate, inbred remnants of the Appalachian mud squids.
  • A Lighter Shade of Black: The Cuylers may be crazy and borderline irredeemibly awful, but Dan Halen is much, much, worse than them.
  • Made of Iron: Courtesy of being squids, they can endure all sorts of pain before finally biting the dust.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Expect the Cuylers to make any bad situation even worse. Prime example: "Squash B'Gosh", where Granny triggers a Gourd Doll Possessed by Restless Confederate Dead Apocalypse.
  • Perpetual Poverty: Almost always broke. Some episodes would have the Cuylers get money through some scheme and then they'd be back to where they were by the next episode.
  • Weirdness Magnet: Many episodes in the show's earlier years had the Cuylers encountering strange and supernatural creatures. Nowadays they're the source of insanity.
  • Too Dumb to Live: When they die, they usually bring it on themselves. Though Rusty is smarter about it than his family members are as far as that goes.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: They all used to be pretty bad but after the first few seasons, much of the chaos has been relegated to just Early.
  • Villain Protagonist: The Cuylers are not what you call good people. They regularly and gleefully commit all sorts of crime and chaos throughout Dougal County and often get into insane adventures. Bar Rusty, who is the most consistently nice and moral-focused member.

    Earland Jubal Stonewall "Early" Cuyler

Our main character. An inbred backwoods squid who's usually drunk to the point of blacking out and has a violent temper ready to go off at the slightest provocation.

Voiced by: Unknown Hinson

  • Abhorrent Admirer: To any female he fancies, but mostly Glenn's Wife.
  • Abusive Parents: Shooting Rusty, stabbing him, punching him, throwing a rock at him, ripping one of his teeth out, using his skin on a taxidermy model...yeah.
  • The Alcoholic: Big time. The Season 2 episode "A Sober Sunday" has the Sheriff check Early's blood alcohol levels, which the Sheriff finds to be at unnatural levels.
    Sheriff: 0.63?
    Early: Hey, that's good, ain't it?
    Sheriff: Boy, that's well beyond human limits there.
    Early: For real?
  • Authority in Name Only: Ostensibly, Early's the CEO of Dan Halen Sheetrock International. In truth, his position as CEO is a legal fiction for drawing lawsuits away from Dan Halen, who continues calling all the shots. Early's actual work is a number of blue- and white-collar, sometimes dangerous odd jobs he's tasked with by Dan Halen for little pay.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's one crazy violent hillbilly.
  • Butt-Monkey: He becomes this in many episodes due to his Too Dumb to Live status.
  • The Chew Toy: He suffers a lot of mutilation, especially in the later seasons.
  • Comedic Sociopath: Abusive psycho, yes. But damn if it ain't hilarious.
  • Couch Gag: His hats.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: A combination of being a backwoods idiot, chemical and alcohol consumption of inhuman levels, and about 13 years in prison has left him with a...unique mindset.
  • The Ditz: Rivals Granny on who’s the most inept Cuyler member.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Early will go to insane and moronic lengths to protest or support most anything. But marrying a bear to protest gay marriage is too insane even for him. This also leads to the first time in the series that he actually relents on a stance, even saying "gays should be allowed I guess to marry as fit." Even the Reverend, who goes strictly by the Bible, thinks the whole marrying a bear idea to stop gay marriage is absolutely stupid and doesn't hesitate to tell him sarcastically, asking if he's willing to take the bear's paw in holy matrimony... "To prove your point?"
  • Evil Is Petty: Tends to hurt or lash out at others over incredibly trivial things, and is shown to be childishly vindictive.
  • Freudian Excuse: Given the way his father (or grandfather) treated him as a kid, its not entirely surprising how he ended up.
  • Expy: He's basically the character of Unknown Hinson in Cephalopod form.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Dougal County knows full well there's no predicting what will set Early off. Insults, compliments, defying him, not defying him...
  • Hair Today, Gone Tomorrow: Had a pretty wicked mane before going to jail.
  • Hidden Depths: He’s a pretty skilled guitarist.
  • Humiliation Conga: The episode "Dewey Two-ey". Much of the episode is spent with Dewey Jr. making Early's life a complete living hell for him. Though Early is a massive dick and likely deserves most of it.
  • Jerkass: Oh, big time. And that's putting it VERY mildly.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: You'd be forgiven for thinking this trope doesn't apply to him at all, at first, but every now and then (such as during the Christmas Special) he shows signs that he does love his family, albeit in a really messed up way. This is subverted, double subverted, and then zig-zagged in "Galvin". At first it seems like he only wants Granny back from Galvin because he likes to abuse her all the time. Then, it starts to seem like he genuinely wants his mom back. By the end, Early starts abusing her again by choking her like a stress ball, however they both seem to enjoy this as Rusty then chokes Early followed by Granny choking Rusty.
    • Played straight in the ending of "Blue Lives Battered", when Early reveals that he knows he's a handful, but he really does care about Sheriff, leading to the two of them and Denny crying, hugging, and embracing. And all of it is played 100% straight. Early even cries as he rewatches the footage on his work computer and remarks to Glenn that it's beautiful.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Depending on the Writer. Sometimes deep inside his Jerkass Trigger Happy personality, you'll find... nothing else.
  • Karma Houdini: Often, he does suffer for what he does occasionally and he has been arrested many, many times, but the sheriff lets him out just as often, this pretty much applies to every criminal in Dougal County.
    • Averted way more often starting in Season 4, while he's still let go pretty easily by the Sherrif, more times than not he suffers from a pretty bloody case of Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Knife Nut: His usual weapon of choice, when not sporting his shotgun.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Gets this a lot, especially in episodes after season 4, usually in the form of an incredibly bloody injury or flat out death.
  • Laughably Evil: Early is an unlikable asshole, he is still hilarious to watch.
  • Malaproper: His speechanating consistafies of addifying extra verbatages on the end of his wordamating.
  • Moral Sociopathy: He is a violent, trigger happy sociopath, but he still goes to church every sunday to praise the lord.
  • Nice Hat: A seemingly endless collection of them.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: The show and everyone else may treat Early a pathetic being who can't do anything right but god help you when you get on his bad side.
  • Pet the Dog: Is actually capable of being nice, however few and far between these moments might last.
    • In "Blue Lives Battered", he genuinely says that Sheriff is his best friend.
    • In “Rich Dan, Poor Dan”, he tries to teach a financially broke Dan Halen that you can live a happy life without being rich and powerful and has no ulterior motive in mind. Too bad Dan takes immediate advantage of the Cuyler family.
  • Sawn-Off Shotgun: His Weapon of Choice.
  • The Sociopath: Early has a complete lack of empathy for others, has no regard for the law, feels no remorse for the pain he inflicts, and has an inability to learn from all the mistakes he makes. He is also a low functioning example, since he is not bright and does bad things even when it affects him directly.
  • Stupid Evil: Early is not a smart guy, and he most of the bad things he does end up biting him in the ass more often than not. And of course, he never learns from his mistakes, repeating those same mistakes again and again without a care in the world.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: He dies very often.
  • Toxic Friend Influence: To Sheriff. Whenever he does consider him his friend, Early usually takes advantage of him and/or pushes him to do various reprehensible acts. Case in point, "Jacksonville Jackass" is pretty much Early's influence turning Sheriff into a drunken mess.
  • Trigger Happy: His trigger finger is perpetually itchy.
  • Villain Protagonist: Pretty much.
  • Yandere: For Krystal. He's something of a weird example as he can't stand her (other than for sex) but he also can't stand someone else being with her either.

    Ruby Jean "Granny" Cuyler

Early and Lil's mom (or "grandmom", it's not really clear). A perverted, senile old squid with a walker.

Voiced by: Dana Snyder

  • Ascended Extra: Just appeared for 1 scene each, during the pilot episode, but absent in the second episode. Somewhere around the 3rd episode, she came to live with Early, becoming a regular character.
  • Absentee Actor: In several episodes most notably in "Take This Job & Love It" & "Vicki".
  • Butt-Monkey: If Rusty isn't incurring Early's wrath, she is.
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Of the kooky old lady variety.
  • Death Seeker: Many episodes show that she craves her own death. Her virtual fantasy has her committing suicide.
  • Depending on the Writer: She can be just as crazy as Early but there are also several moments where she holds the Sanity Ball and acts more like a passive Straight Man, albiet one with huge Cloud Cuckoolander tendencies.
  • Dirty Old Woman: Big time. One of the reasons she keeps coming back from the brink of death is because Squid Jesus can't take her advances and then there's that one scene with a passed out Lil (after telling Early off for trying to do the same thing).
  • The Dog Bites Back: Whenever she gets the upperhand over Early, she almost always enacts her revenge. Such as in "Tortuga de Mentiras", where she kills Early with a sniper rifle.
  • Extreme Doormat: Shoved around constantly by Early and is usually forced to do his bidding.
  • Ill Girl: She's perpetually on the brink of death with one thing or another.
  • Racist Grandma: Can't stand white people, or as she calls them "Chalkies".
  • Scatterbrained Senior: Tends to forget what she's talking about in mid-sentence...of course, she likely wasn't making much sense to begin with.
  • Stronger Than They Look: When push comes to shove, she can easily overpower Early.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Like Early, she often dies. In some cases, she dies and immediately comes back in the next scene as if nothing happened.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: She becomes more unambiguously nice in later episodes.

    Russell "Rusty" Cuyler

Early's dimwitted, but more well-meaning and kindhearted son.

Voiced by: Daniel McDevitt

  • Absentee Actor: Aside from the intro, Rusty doesn't appear in "Class Of '86" or "Vicki".
  • Butt-Monkey: Guaranteed to suffer just by being Early’s son.
  • Characterization Marches On: Originally a very childish, naive, "Well Done, Son!" Guy, and would often take part in his family's vile misadventures. Nowadays he's wisened up enough to become the Token Good Teammate of the Cuylers, the Only Sane Man and is quick to object to any of their heinous actions. His "Well Done, Son!" Guy status seems to teeter between episodes. This is very much due to the show's only story arc where he's raising a family that isn't affected by Negative Continuity.
  • Calling the Old Man Out: In "Events by Russell", he is very aware of how chaotic and asshole-ish Early tends to be and wants no part of him in his new party business.
  • Good Parents: A bumbling and idiotic one, but unlike Early, he loves his son Randy and tries providing for him. In his own boneheaded way.
  • Half-Human Hybrid: Squid father, human mother.
  • The Heart: Of the Cuylers. Too bad almost no one listens to him.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: The kid has been a Butt-Monkey since he was born.
  • Jerkass: Given his upbringing, it's no surprise that he has moments of cruelty. In one episode, he threatened Granny with a knife. In another episode, he rolled a limbless Early down the street until Early threw up from motion sickness.
    • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Has his moments. He genuine loves his family and often expresses doubt at his families more morally questionable actions.
  • Only Sane Man: Not on a consistent basis, but he's the only one even approaching this trope on the show.
  • Overly Long Name: His full name is "Russell Jesse James Kenny the Gambler Rogers Number Three The Intimidator Dale Earnhardt Kenny the Gambler Rogers America's Number One Cuyler".
  • Smarter Than You Look: On his better days he is way more smart than the show leads him to be. In "Dove in an Iron Cage", he almost effortlessly breaks out of prison when he was wrongfully committed and put on death row.
  • Token Good Team Mate: The closest thing to one. While he can be just as cruel as his family he tends to be the one to object to his families more evil acts. Pronounced more in later episodes.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: Most of the time, Early isn't too nice to him and is usually quick to forget him but Rusty just wants to make him proud.

    Lil Cuyler

Early's frequently passed out, meth-making (and meth using) sister.

Voiced by: Patricia French

  • A Day in the Limelight: "Green and Sober".
  • Addled Addict: Or, depending the episode, Functional Addict, either way, she smokes so much that her blood is mostly cigarette smoke.
  • Demoted to Extra: Courtesy of being passed out almost every episode.
  • Guttural Growler: If you ever needed a clue that she smokes besides her cigarette in her tentacle, it would be her low gravelly raspy voice.
  • Out of Focus: Lil' spends most of seasons 2 & 3 face down in her own vomit. It's revealed she's secretly running a pot growing operation in the basement through a hole in the floor.
    • Lil didn't make an appearance in Season 10.
    • In Seasons 11 & 12, she only made one-shot appearances.
  • Really Gets Around: Not as much as Krystal, but she still gets around. In "Green and Sober" alone, she does Ellis (Three times) the guitar player of the band, a man's wife, and a pervert from the Reverends addict group.
  • The Smart Guy: By Cuyler standards, anyway. She's the only one smart enough to know how to run the meth lab. In one episode, her constant state of being passed out is revealed to be a cover for her running a marijuana grow farm run by naked illegal Mexican immigrants in a massive space underneath the Cuyler house, as she communicates with her workers through a hole in the floor.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: Finally becomes sober in "Green and Sober"
  • The Voiceless: Has largely become this, if she shows up at all.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: According to Early, "She ain't wore a shirt since 89". What you've been looking at isn't her chin.

    Hezekiah Ray "Ga-Ga-Pee-Pap" Cuyler (AKA: "Twelve Gun" Cuyler)

Early and Lil's freewheeling, criminal father. Apparently raised the both of them before running off to who knows where.

Voiced by: Jesco White

  • Abusive Parents: Watch a few scenes with him, and you immediately see why Early and Lil are the way they are.
  • Catchphrase: "I got you again!" and, in his first episode, "Allegedly!"
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Even by Cuyler standards.
  • Incurable Cough of Death: Got lung cancer from his "Healthy Sticks".
  • Put on a Bus to Hell: Literally. The last time we ever see him (not counting flashbacks) is when he, as a ghost, goes to Hell, mistakenly believing that he's going to Heaven.
  • Would Hurt a Child: One episode implies that he's a child molester and probably would have done the same to Rusty, if Early didn't remind him that Rusty is related.

    Dr. Bug 
Voiced by: Todd Barry
A large squid who works as a doctor at the local hospital, Dr. Bug is the abandoned son (the nature his blood relationship to her has been confirmed, but never specified) of Granny Cuyler, but he takes great pains to hide it and to distance himself from the family. Thinking she was on her death bed while hospitalized, Granny tells him that she "never meant to flush him down the toilet" and that he was "always her favorite". Apparently in grudging recognition of this family connection, he then surreptitiously offers to donate his gallbladder to save Granny's life. A similar character named Bug (an acronym for Big Uncle Grandpa) appeared in original pilot scripts.
  • Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: After the Season 3 episode "Sharif", he never appeared in the show even again.
  • Long-Lost Relative: He is in fact an abandoned member of the family, he only met the cuyler's a few times like in the episode "Family Trouble"."
  • Recurring Extra: Subverted in later seasons & this was before his disappearance, but he did make it three episodes of Season 2 & in Season 3's "Sharif" as a background character.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: Dr. Bug's current fate remains unknown as he doesn't appear anymore.

    Herschel Walker Cuyler
"Herschel Walker Cuyler Them Dawgs Is Hell Don't They", AKA Herschel Walker is the infant son of Lil Cuyler and an unknown man. He is also the nephew and surrogate son of Early Cuyler. Herschel is the brother of a large litter however he did not associate with them, and would rather act like Early, he has never had a proper speaking role and has said the same lines, which is for a strange reason the same yell given off by early.
  • A Day in the Limelight: His debut in "The Good One".
  • Parental Favoritism: Early loved Herschel in his debut episode & considered him to be his favorite of Lil's children.
  • The Cameo: He makes a cameo in "Ga-Ga Ghost" on a missing child picture on a milk carton.
  • What Happened to the Mouse?: It's currently unknown what happened to Herschel after he left, his cameo in "Ga-Ga Ghost" makes a whole lot of sense.

    Durwood Cuyler

White Sheep of the Cuyler clan. Got a GED, and ran off to the big city, marrying a white woman.


Dougal County Citizens


The rather hapless, useless, and frequently killed lawman of Dougal County.

Voiced by: Charles Napier(Episodes 1-7) Bobby Ellerbee(Episode 8-onwards)

  • Ascended Extra: He's practically one of the main characters as of now.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: While generally good-natured, he can be pretty mean under the right circumstances, such as threatening Early at gunpoint to learn how to read or tasering the Cuylers for not liking his stand-up comedy.
  • Butt-Monkey: Is frequently bullied and injured by the likes of Early and Dan Halen.
  • Clones Are People, Too: Even to Early!
  • Clone Army: Part of one, though it hasn't come up in recent seasons, in favor of developing Sharif more.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "The Peep", "Vicki", "Jacksonville Jackass", "Sharif", and "Blue Lives Battered.".
  • Dirty Cop: He's on the take for Dan Halen, but considering he's part of Dan Halen's clone army it's to be expected. Not like that stops him from repossessing Dan Halen's home once he runs out of bribe money in "Rich Dan, Poor Dan".
    • When he chases out a crowd of employees out of Dan Halen's office, he hopes that he himself can be paid with more of the usual "dirty money" in their off-the-books arrangement; asking for it forces Dan Halen to admit that his money problems are serious and founded in an actual lack of money.
  • The Dog Bites Back: He shoots Dan Halen in the head with a gun for bullying him in high school in the episode "Class of '86".
  • Expendable Clone: Frequently killed and replaced by the next Sharif in line.
  • Extreme Doormat: Early takes full advantage of the Sheriff's kindness.
  • Manchild: His general demeanor is very goofy and childish.
  • Minion with an F in Evil: What compelled Dan Halen to clone him for his army?
  • Nice Guy: Is a genuine nice fellow who wants the best for everyone and has a high patience with the Cuylers. Unfortunately, his stupidity and Extreme Doormat status causes him to tilt away from this every now and then.
  • No Respect Guy: Likely the least-respected character in the whole show.
  • Police Are Useless: Just the way Dan Halen likes it.
  • Super Soldier: Parodied. Dan Halen selected the original Sharif as the template for his army because he wanted an army of, in the current Sheriff's own words, "nicotine-addicted super warriors with marginal strength and hypersensitivity to pain".
  • They Killed Kenny Again: He dies at least once an episode, sometimes more.
  • Throw the Dog a Bone: Being a Butt-Monkey among a show full of Butt Monkies, his chances of not dying or getting screwed over by anyone is pretty slim. However....
    • In "Mud Dazed and Cornfused", he is spared by the giant corn monster in a plant-based apocalypse because of his corn face tatoo.
    • After getting brutally beaten up by a drunken Early and then having his beat-up uploaded online for everyone to watch, "Blue Lives Battered" ends with a genuine Friendship Moment between him and Early.
  • Too Dumb to Live: At one point, him (or one of the clones) had to be reminded not to put something in his mouth. In that same episode, we find out that it wasn't the first time he put something in his mouth to figure out what it was.
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: He's probably the only living thing that would consider Early a friend.
  • We Have Reserves: The whole Dougal County police force is made of clones, meaning Sheriffs are easily expendable. Less so in later episodes, which generally depict a single Sharif and Denny as the only officers in the county.

    Deputy Denny
A tiny, malformed Sheriff clone, and basically the Sheriff's right hand man.
Voiced by: Dave Willis

    Dan Halen

CEO of Dan Halen Sheetrock International. An evil little bugger, who can get away with just about any evil thing he wants.

Voiced by: Todd Hanson

  • 0% Approval Rating: No one likes him. They only respect him due to his immense power. In "Rich Dan, Poor Dan", he immediately becomes a loser who is forced to hang out with the Cuylers when he becomes bankrupt.
  • Barbie Doll Anatomy: He claims his junk is retractable.
  • Barefoot Cartoon ... Whatever It Is He's Supposed To Be
  • Big Bad: At least when Early isn't.
  • Cephalothorax: He's basically a giant egg-shaped...thing...with a face, limbs, and hair.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: He owns the biggest corporation in Dougal County, and takes full advantage of it.
  • A Day in the Limelight: Various episodes most notably, "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen", "Pile M for Murder", "Taint Misbehavin", & "Rich Dan, Poor Dan".
  • Evil Redhead: Has red hair and has done some seriously deplorable actions throughout the show.
  • Evil Sounds Deep: Has a deep voice and possibly the only character more evil than Early.
  • Expy: Of Mr. Burns with a voice similar to Sideshow Bob's.
  • Faux Affably Evil: He's very well spoken and witty for being such a despicable individual.
  • Hate Sink: The most irredeemable character in the whole show bar Early and has little to no sympathetic qualities to justify it.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: All of his deaths have been this in some form.
  • The Illuminati: Leads two such cabals, the Serpents in the Round (which has nationwide, if not global, influence) and, assuming Sharif wasn't making the whole story up, the Knights of the Noble Order of the Mystic Turquoise Goblet (which is seemingly limited to northern Georgia).
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Has shown cannibalistic qualities from time to time.
  • Karma Houdini: Can avoid almost every punishment due to the amount of power he has over everyone. However...
  • Laser-Guided Karma: You can count the times he's got what he deserves on one hand. He even lampshades in one episode where died because of his scam that he declared "I've received my comeuppance at last!"
    • In the episodes: "Mud Days and Confused", "Class of '86", and "Granite Caverns", he suffers a Karmic Death.
    • In "The Inkubator Lives!" he gets beaten up by Rusty.
    • In "Forever Autumn" he is forced to work for the living tree people to the point that he may be even worshipping them. Also the first time he's been shown to EVER be scared of anyone.
    • "Rich Dan, Poor Dan" is an entire episode about Dan Halen being humbled after he becomes bankrupt. Briefly.
  • Naked People Are Funny: Wears no clothes and is Laughably Evil.
  • No Knees: Exemplied literally as one episode shows his struggles with his kneeless anatomy and shows off the one cause he genuinely cares about: Helping people who like him, were born without knees... of which he is the only member of it (the last and only member was an old guy who lost his legs, to which Halen didn't approve as while he wasn't born with knees he WAS born with feet and legs, which he promptly uses to literally kick said man out).
  • Our Demons Are Different: While it's unclear exactly who or what Dan Halen is, all evidence points to him being some kind of hellspawn. (Immortal, pure evil, associated with Satanic imagery)
  • Out of Focus: While still appearing often, Dan Halen's prominence has been slowly diminishing.
  • Pet the Dog:
  • Polite Villains, Rude Heroes: "Hero" may not be the right word to describe Early, but Dan Halen has significantly better social graces.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Only openly one when supporting prejudice stands to give him money. When he thinks he has more to gain from promoting inclusivity, he will begrudgingly do so.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Dan Halen is really over 20,000 years old, he is the oldest character in the entire show.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The entire city of Chattanooga, Tennessee is his, according to the episodes where he schemes to make Dougal County a better tourist trap.
  • The Sociopath: Unlike Early, who is a low-functioning example, Dan Halen is a straight high-functioning one.
  • Time Abyss: He's existed since the beginning of recorded history.
  • Villain Decay: Downplayed. Originally the near unstoppable ruler of Dougal County with fingers in pies worldwide, in recent season the emphasis has been put on him as a Corrupt Corporate Executive who is always trying to find a way to get more money, however scummy it is.

A monstrously fat, monstrously ugly, and monstrously skanky freeloader, who lives in the local junkyard, she is also Rusty's mother in the series, along with the Ex-Wife of Early & Snakeman.
Voiced by: Mary Kraft

  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episode "Krystal, Light"
  • Does Not Like Shoes: Not like she could find any that fit anyway.
  • Lazy Bum: So much so, the county declared her a local landmark.
  • Missing Mom: To Rusty. She left him on Lil's porch in a bucket of chicken when he was a baby. We find out a bit too late that she's this to Tammie.
  • Offscreen Teleportation: How exactly does she move? She's seen as background character or in places other than her junkyard but we never see her move or walk (outside of one episode, when she was married to Dan Halen and she had to be helped in that one time).
  • Out of Focus: In the eleventh season of Squidbillies, she only appeared in "The War on The War on Christmas", this is ultimately subverted in Season 12 since she made more appearances.
  • Really Gets Around: In Early's words, she's "Done the Unskinny Bop" with practically every living being in Dougal County...and Charlie Sheen.
  • Recurring Extra: She appears in many episodes & sometimes as a background character.


Early's perpetually uninterested and abused coworker.

Voiced by: Dave Willis

    Glenn's Wife / Donna
Glenn's wife or Donna and the object of Early's perverse obsession when he's not chasing Krystal

Voiced by: Dana Swanson

  • All There in the Script: Her name being "Donna" doesn't come up very often in the show, but it's there if you look for it.
  • Early Installment Weirdness: In the season 1 finale "Office Politics Trouble", Early calls Glenn's Wife named "Donna" while in the elevator, however in Later episodes she is just called Glenn's Wife.
    • When she was first introduced she was married to a background character, not Glenn, this happened later when Glenn was also introduced, also technically happened in the first couple of seasons of the show.
    • This is later subverted in Later seasons since she is only with Glenn not the background character.
  • Flat Character: Not much is known about her other than the fact that she's Glenn's wife and that she runs a catering business
    • She was a school teacher seen in "Taint Mishavin'" however.
  • Nice Guy: One of the few consistently nice characters in the show.
  • Informed Attractiveness: Downplayed mostly due to the artstyle, but she is noted to be looking "finer than hell" by Early.
  • Ship Tease: There are a few hints that she has an interest in Early. On one occasion even though she tells Glenn that she hates him and that he's just a stalker, she asks Early to call her right as he and Rusty leave the couples property. On another occasion, she sucks a dying Early's toes when asked without much resistance.


A gap-toothed, more sane minded redneck girl, and Rusty's first girlfriend. Also the mother of his son, Macho Man Randy Cuyler.

Voiced by: Elizabeth Cook

  • Beware the Nice Ones: She is usually passive and patient with almost everyone. That being said.. she isn't afraid to pepper spray Early or put a restraining order on him if he goes too far.
  • Closer to Earth: Compared to...damn near everyone else in Dougal County, she's got a level head on her shoulders.
  • A Day in the Limelight: "Muscadine Wine".
  • Incest Is Relative: Finds out a little late that she and Rusty share the same mother.
    • Possibly implied by she and her dad sleeping in the same bed. If they did more than just sleeping in there, it's not stated.

    Macho Man Randy Cuyler
Tammi and Rusty's inbred son. Unlike his father he appears as a normal human baby, which causes several to question if he is really Rusty's child, however, "Ink is Thicker Than Blood, Which is Thicker Than Water", when his diaper is removed he is revealed to possess a set of tentacles along with his other appendages, proving that he is quarter mud-squid. For the most part, Rusty cares for his son and tries to be a good father to him, while Early is antagonistic towards his grandson and treats him in much the same way as he treats Rusty.

Unlucky proprietor of the local convenience store, and frequent victim of robberies from Early.
Voiced by: Pete Smith

  • Butt-Monkey: Robbed almost daily by Early, usually getting his hand blown off before it's over.
  • Character Tic: He's so conditioned from robberies, that he frequently talks with his hands held up.
  • Killed Off for Real: When his Voice Actor Pete Smith retired, he was permanently offed in the season 11 premiere.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: His death in "Dove in an iron Cage" is what kickstarts the plot of Rusty being wrongfully imprisoned.

The town reverend. A put upon man of the cloth who is no fan of the Cuylers.
Voiced by: Scott Hilley

  • Black Comedy Rape: Granny once raped him while under the power of her Beast Implants.
  • Depending on the Writer: He's either one of the more sane people in Dougal County or just as stupid as them.
  • Earn Your Happy Ending: Moves to another county, far away from the Cuylers. One where his church has an actual roof. Given how sadistic this show can be, this is a genuinely happy sendoff for him.
  • Moral Guardians: Whether or not he's holding the Sanity Ball, being a moralistic busybody is a consistent trait of his.
  • Nervous Wreck: Years of dealing with Cuyler shenanigans has taken its toll on him.
  • Put on a Bus: Shipped off permanently following the death of VA Scott Hilley.

Snakeman is a resident of Dougal County. He is often seen having relations with Krystal or eating other residents, which have included screen characters and minor characters such as the Mexicans. His origins are unknown, but strange creatures are common in Dougal County, Although he never talks, Snakeman is often seen interacting with the other characters through hissing.
  • Demoted to Extra: Snakeman used to be a common character in the series when it started, however in the later seasons he rarely appears at all.
    • This started in Season 5, where he didn't appear any episode, later in Season 6 he started to be demoted to a background character or making one-shot appearances in a couple of episodes.
  • Funny Animal: He is a Snake Person.
  • Snake People: He is a Snake-Man After all.
  • Snakes Are Sinister: Snakeman has done a couple of crimes in Dougal County, for example, he is seen eating people, he was arrested in the pilot episode, he has eaten the town's sheriff a few times, he had a court sentence for eating his kids off-screen in "Stop, Jammer Time", he was locked in prison in the 22-minute episode "Dove In An Iron Cage".

    Billy Morton 
Voiced by: Nick Ingkatanuwat
Billy Morton is a armless and legless young boy who is also the captain the local high school football team. His father gave him two, two-by-four wooden boards as replacement legs, and two tree limbs as arms, Billy seems to be a very Unlucky character & he is mostly killed his appearances.
  • Recurring Extra: Subverted, But he became background character in the third season of the show.
  • Butt-Monkey: Billy has been killed in many episodes due to the lack of arms & Legs.
  • They Killed Kenny Again: Some examples include In the pilot "This Show Is Called Squidbillies", where he is killed after being run over by a truck on the road, in "Sharif", Billy's skin is ripped off by Dan Halen's Ice Wind & turned into a Skeleton, he was lighted on fire in "Condition: Demolition!", in "The Okaleechee Dam Jam", he was in his underwear, wanting to swim in a pool, however when he slides down the pool slide, he falls to his doom into an empty pool & it kills him, he is shown drowning in an icy lake in "Snow Daddy".

    The Mexicans 
Voiced by: Various
The Mexicans are a group of Spanish-speaking men from Mexico that appears in many episodes, they are common Background Characters, they usually don't speak, when they do they speak Spanish. They all have identical faces, but different facial hair. Mexicans in some episodes want Jobs, Sometimes the Mexicans have Major Roles like in "The Fine Ol’ Solution", "Need for Weed" & "Jose, Can You? Si!" for example, in the episode "Need for Weed" Lil' has been shown employing several of them (all in the nude) to work in her pot growing operation.
  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episodes The Fine Ol’ Solution", "Need for Weed" & "Jose, Can You? Si!".
  • Ascended Extra: They are some of the most common characters in the series.

Voiced by: Katie Kneeland
A news reporter who interviewed Dan Halen. When the interview took a turn unfavorable to Halen, she was killed and replaced with a more accommodating clone. She is one of the few number of people shown to have been cloned by Dan Halen along with The Sheriff. She shares the same design as Glenn's Wife (albeit with brown hair).
  • A Day in the Limelight: Her Debut in "Gimmicky Magazine Show Spoof Parody About Dan Halen".
  • Recurring Extra: She makes many background appearances in later appearances, she also attends the Reverend's Church.
  • Clone Army: She had a Clone Army at one point, in her debut.
  • Clones Are People, Too: She was cloned by Dan Halen in her debut.
  • Expendable Clone: Similar to the Sheriff, this happened to her as well.
  • Hartman Hips: A key visual difference between her and Donna, aside from the hair.

Owner/bartender of The Jiggle Hut. One of the few people in town not afraid to fight Early.
Voiced by: Dave Willis

  • A Day in the Limelight: In the episodes "Atone Deaf" & "Events by Russell".
  • The Bartender: He is a bartender of The Jiggle Hut, after all, he is rarely seen outside of the bar.
  • Kick the Son of a Bitch: Ellis is one of the only townspeople not scared to kick Early's ass when he misbehaves in his bar.

    Doctor A.K.A. Dr. Donald Cock
The town's seemingly only doctor. A bit of an odd duck.
Voiced by: Brendon Small

  • Characterization Marches On: His incompetent, seemingly mentally disabled persona has all but entirely dropped.
  • Doctor Jerk: He is a jerk, considering he is the only doctor in Dougal County.
  • Suspiciously Similar Substitute: He is similar to a one-shot character named Dr. Jerry from "Family Trouble", with both of them being doctors at the Dougal County Clinic & having the same voice actor, it's possible that Dr. Cock replaced Dr. Jerry after his death.

    Pastor Kyle Nubbins
The town's new church leader, brought in after the Reverend is shipped off.
Voiced by: Jason Isbell

  • Beware the Nice Ones: Is nothing but kind and patient to Early. But when Early steals his guitar, Kyle is not afraid to give Early his just desserts.
  • Good Shepherd: A genuinely nice, non-corrupt guy. Just don't touch his guitar.


    Squid Jesus
A squid version of Jesus, he is a very polite & mannered squid from Heaven.
Voiced by: Fred Armisen

    Squid Satan 
A squid version of Satan, he is a very evil giant squid from Hell.
Voiced by: Jim Fortier

  • A Day in the Limelight: In Mephistopheles Traveled Below to a Southern State Whose Motto Is 'Wisdom, Justice, and Moderation'".
  • Deal with the Devil: Rusty made a deal with him in episode 25.
  • Out of Focus: He doesn't appear that much in the series, unlike Squid Jesus.
  • Put on a Bus to Hell: This is the last time we ever see Squid Satan in the series, as Ga Ga Pee Pap has mistaken he was going to heaven thanks to Satan (Mistaken as a Red Jesus), but Squid Satan sents him to Hell instead.

    Patrick Swayze imposter/Leftless Drifter 
A Legless Drifter who claimed to be actor Patrick Swayze. He appears in the episode "Swayze Crazy" helping The Sheriff remodel the local jail when he is introduced to the Cuylers who are big fans of the movie Roadhouse. However, when the real Patrick Swayze comes to town it would be apparent to almost anyone that the drifter is not Patrick Swayze, except Early, Granny, and the Sheriff (Rusty being the only one who realizes the truth). As a result, the drifter (to Rusty's horror) easily kills the real Patrick Swayze (the Sheriff in typical fashion does nothing to stop it) and is last seen as he steals a pizza delivery man's vehicle while shouting "Free Car, asshole!". However, despite all this Early still believes the man to be Patrick Swayze. In "Plumber Bubba", the Legless Drifter appears in the audience of the Plumber Bubba comedy show (hinting at the possibility he has taken up residence in Dougal County possibly due to the ignorance of the local town folk).
  • A Day in the Limelight: His debut in "Swayze Crazy".
  • Recurring Extra: Patrick Swayze made a couple of background character cameos after his debut, they include "Bubba Trubba", "The Appalachian Mud Squid: Darwin's Dilemma", "Armageddon It On", "The Okaleechee Dam Jam", "The Liar, the Bitch and the Bored Rube", "Anabolic-holic", "God’s Bro", "Young, Dumb and Full of Gums" & finally in "Return of Gaga Pee Pap".
  • Out of Focus: After his cameo in "Return of Gaga Pee Pap", the imposter stopped appearing in the show, as he didn't make many appearances in the new recent seasons.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: He claimed he was the real Patrick Swayze in his debut episode, "Swayze Crazy".


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