Characters / Sluggy Freelance Allies

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Recurring Cast

Sam

Sam Sein

Formerly the cast's neighbor at the apartment complex, now a vampire Walking the Earth. He is the former owner of Kiki and still feels very protective of her. Has a crush on Zoë. Must steer clear of Riff, who tries to stake him whenever he spots him. His last name was shown in the sci-fi adventure, "Get Me A Proctologist".

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• Ambiguously Brown: Though has naturally got a lot paler since becoming a vampire.
• Casanova Wannabe
• Catchphrase: "Sam's Da Man!"
• Distracted by the Sexy: And at the worst possible time
• Eaten Alive: Well, technically undead, but a demon named Agent N'aaaw literally bites his face off and eats most of him, leaving nothing but his head and ribcage. Nevertheless, Sam was able to recover even from that after an extended delay.
• The Fool: More often than not, he always gets out of trouble no worse for wear despite, or often because of, his complete stupidity. The most notable example is when he accidentally led some vampires who were chasing him into a vampire hunters convention.
• Friendly Neighborhood Vampire: He's dedicated himself to "staying good" as a vamp and has saved the crew numerous times. Of course, he'll still gleefully drain non-lethal amounts of blood from hypnotized women and has become a threat to the group when his vampiric hunger overwhelms him.
• Last of His Kind: The last Vorpyr vampire, and by extension, the last of the Lysinda Circle. Though as he's the last he has decided to rename the circle the 'Sam Cirkail Mamajama'. Though he technically turns out to be 3rd to last, as Riff forgot to pull one of the vampires he staked out into the sunlight to finish her off and another was in hiding.
• Lethally Stupid: He has gotten more than a few people killed by his idiocy.
• Mind Manipulation: Though hilariously it works for everything except trying to make women find him attractive.
• Monster Lord: Having impressed her by successfully escaping the designs of all three vampire types, Urja decides to crown him as the new King of Vampires in order to oppose the Strakoi vampires. Though his apparent stupidity ultimately annoys her into keeping him under a tight leash.
• Obfuscating Stupidity: He will often play up his own stupidity to trick people. Once he owed Bun-Bun any favor he asked for and so he acted annoying until the rabbit told him to leave. He took this as the one favor and called it even. Also, Sam can plan ahead somewhat and lie about it to protect his friends.
• Papa Wolf: Don't mess with Kiki. He'll even go after Bun-Bun if he tries to hurt her.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Oh he's a hero, there's no doubt about that, but he will often screw up spectacularly, rending his heroics moot. Despite that he will act like an action hero deserving praise.
• Super Loser: He may have the power of a vampire, but he's still the same sleazy, dim, lovable loser he was in life.
• Third-Person Person: Sam's da man! (Though he doesn't always do this - just when he's trying to charm the ladies.)
• Took a Level in Dumbass: Since becoming a vampire, Sam has gradually become more and more stupid.
• What the Hell, Hero?: Gives a good one to Riff. Twice he saved the man's life and both times Riff tried to kill him afterwards. He excuses it because Riff has been taking good care of Kiki.

Chaz

Chaz

A powerful magic sword from the Never dimension that has the power to kill demons and gods. It was originally owned by Satan, and is currently held by Torg.

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• Black Swords Are Better: It becomes an ominous black when it gets activated by the power of blood.
• Cool Sword: Chaz is a magical talking sword.
• Deadpan Snarker: It tends to be rather sarcastic.
• Immortal Breaker: It can kill almost anything that can be killed, including gods and demons.
• Immune to Fate: The sword exists outside the Web of Fate and can thus kill even those who are protected by it. It also bestows the same quality upon its wielder.
• Made of Indestructium: Not even the Top God, Khronus, can destroy it. Which makes it all the more shocking when Torg somehow manages to bend it in an accident. Nevertheless, even then it fixes itself after exposure to more innocent blood.
• Mundane Utility: A god-killing sword that has found occasional use as a crowbar or cooking utensil. Chaz does not appreciate being used that way and eventually starts encouraging others to kill Torg over it.
• One-Hit Kill: A single scratch is enough to kill even the most powerful beings in the setting, regardless of their defences. The Demon King of the Dimension of Pain is the only entity in the entire story that has ever survived, and even he was permanently crippled.
• Phrase Catcher: Whenever an otherwise Nigh-Invulnerable spiritual being is harmed by Chaz, expect the phrase "What is that blade?" to be uttered.
• Pictorial Speech-Bubble: When it was first used to kill Kron, its speech bubbles consisted of pictures.
• Powered by a Forsaken Child: The sword doesn't consider itself to be either good or evil, but it does require the blood of the innocent to power it. Blood can be donated willingly, but it has almost never been so in practice. It has almost always been taken from the corpses of those already dead, or even by killing them directly.
• Servile Snarker: While it is subservient to Torg, it snidely makes it known that it is increasingly unhappy about that.
• Soul-Cutting Blade: It remains unclear whether it causes Cessation of Existence or just banishes them someplace else, but it is even capable of "killing" entirely spiritual beings.
  Torg: Chaz, what happens to spirits when you "kill" them?
  Chaz: They have no idea.
• Talking Weapon: The sword is sentient, and when its powers are unlocked by the blood, it is able to speak.
• Upgrade Artifact: Even when not powered up by blood, it can enhance its owner's skill in swordplay.

Sasha

Sasha

One of Riff's girlfriends who eagerly dove into the madness that was the cast's lives. Although her stay on the strip was relatively brief (less than two years), she is very much a fan favorite.

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• Arc Number: She was often shown wearing a '3' shirt or drinking out of a '3' mug, and in one of Gwynn's visions in "The Bug, the Witch and the Robot", Riff was shown juggling (or being juggled by) three pins with numbers on. Fans speculated this was something to do with Sasha being one of three possible romantic partners for Riff. Instead, it was eventually revealed that it was foreshadowing that Sasha, or rather Kusari, has three bodies at once.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: She certainly seems very friendly and never gives a complaint, to the point that one man describes her as a saint. But she has actually been working with Hereti-Corp the whole time, spying on her would be friends and lovers for them. Her true personality does not have her acting persona's perpetual smile on her face.
• Commonality Connection: She is a self described tinkerer, which helps her interactions with Riff since she's able to add improvements to his inventions. In truth, she has no engineering skills whatsoever. Bunbun speculates that Hereti Corp's R&D sent her their own modifications to Riff's designs and had her claim the credit to foster a bond. She later confirms this to Riff when trying to win back his trust.
• Conflicting Loyalty: Her loyalties are ultimately to Hereti Corp, but she does seem to feel some regrets towards her would be friends. She finally tells Riff that she really does love him and wants to make amends. Only to betray his trust again by putting a tracer on him. Regardless of her own feelings, she is literally programmed to obey the CEO of Hereti Corp. But when Schlock is out of contact, she manages to use Loophole Abuse to avoid killing Riff.
• Double Reverse Quadruple Agent
• Gadgeteer Genius: With a dash of Wrench Wench, supposedly. Turns out that was just a cover story to get technology out of Riff and send it back to Hereti Corp. Anything she supposedly designed was actually created by Hereti Corp's R&D and sent back to her to reinforce her cover.
• Honey Trap:
  • When Hereti Corp discovered that Riff, who was one of their freelancers at the time, was more valuable than they had previously realized, they sent her to act as his girlfriend and keep a closer tab on him. Where Riff grows apart from most girls, he actually came to believe he loved her, only for her to attempt to assassinate him on Dr. Schlock's orders.
  • She (or rather one of her other bodies) also fakes a relationship with a man named Tommy, even to the point of being married for five years. She leaves him when Hereti Corp successfully out-lobbies the senator Tommy was working for.
• The Mole: Torg was effectively using her to spy on Hereti-Corp for him. Turns out all this time, she had been working for Hereti-Corp and was spying on him.
• Oh, Crap!: These are literally her last words before Oasis slits the throat of her final surviving body. ("Final" in the sense of their current location.)
• Phrase Catcher: "Weird girl, Sasha."
• Put on a Bus: She was introduced around Halloween of 2000 and moved away back in 2002. She returned in 2009, when the main cast of characters wound up with a couple vacant spots.
• The Reveal: She's the subject of at least three: all of the Hereti Corp spy stuff already listed above, that she's been Kusari all along and then the fact that she's a construct like Oasis, except that she simultaneously occupies several identical bodies; it's not clear yet how exactly this last setup works.
• Sixth Ranger: While technically filling in for Riff as The Lancer, she may end up in this role now that everyone has returned.
• Sixth Ranger Traitor: Nope! She's been working for Hereti-Corp all along.
• The Stoic: Almost nothing bothers her.
• Thanatos Gambit: She literally sacrifices herself on Hereti Corp's behalf by confronting Oasis. She inevitably gets herself killed, but successfully plants a Tracking Device on Oasis in the process. Except as noted above under The Reveal, sacrificing one of her bodies isn't really a death at all for her.
• Two Aliases, One Character: She's actually Kusari, an artificial intelligence able to control three Remote Bodies at once.

Bert

Bert

Introduced as Torg's crotch-obsessed artist friend, he later moved into Brie Meighsaton House with the gang. He was badly wounded in the first "KITTEN" storyline and had to have a crotch transplant from a baboon, then was killed in "KITTEN II". However, his ghost remained tied to the house and he remained a character until the ghosts were released at the end of "Kesandru's Well".

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• Catchphrase: "My WORLD is a crotch!"
• Crossdresser: Implied here.
• Flanderisation: In his first appearance he spoke normally and calmly to Torg at first, whereas later on he would be treated as angrily shouting everything.
• Killed Off for Real: Happen both to sluggy prime and to Dimension of lame version.
• La Résistance: His Alternate Universe counterpart from the Dimension of Lame started a food-fighting resistance and spoke with a French accent.
• Mix-and-Match Critters: After his crotch transplant was apparently baboon from the waist down. Riff and Torg caught a glimpse of him naked after the "clothes-eating evil-moths" incident and initially thought he was wearing 'the bottom half of a Wookiee costume' before realising the reality.
• The Thing That Would Not Leave: Variation; at one point he says he's moving out of Brie Meighsaton House and stops paying rent, but as the others note, he doesn't actually stop hanging around the house.
• Unfinished Business: After his death, he comes back as a ghost because he wants Torg to finish his painting. After the painting is completed, so is his unfinished business, freeing him to join the afterlife, right up until he gets caught in a ghost trap.
• Verbal Tic: "Crotch" and "Bah!" His ghost talked almost entirely in these due to some kind of verbal impediment (his actual thoughts are shown as being more erudite). Also using 'knave' as an insult.

Oasis

Oasis

A young woman mind controlled by a Mad Scientist named Dr. Steve Hereti. Has a tendency to come back from the dead and is very much in love with Torg.

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• Anti-Villain/Anti-Hero: Even as a murderous antagonist, she's a pretty sad and pathetic case rather than evil; but when rarely she's a protagonist, she's still pretty murderous.
• Ambiguously Human: Many people think she is a Robot Girl, and Dr. Steve Hereti, one of the few people to know what she truly is, claims that she is an artificial mind he created, designed to obey his orders and made human. Her orders tend to be obeyed rather literally, she once got caught in a recursion with conflicting orders, and her Alternate Self in another world was somehow associated with an artificially intelligent supercomputer. On the other hand, an Orsintos scientist claims that no one made her special but God. Oasis believes herself to be human, and simply brainwashed by some sort of machine. It is ultimately revealed that her bodies are clones, and her mind is an artificial intelligence.
• Artificial Human: Steve claims that she is an artificial mind made human. There is also a special facility which is responsible for creating her bodies, which are younger clones of a spellcaster named Sin'thea La'mort.
• Ax-Crazy: Let's put it this way - when Torg said he loved chocolate ice cream, she proceeded to kill the chocolate ice cream. Much to the surprise and consternation of everyone present.
• Back from the Dead: Many, many times. It's become somewhat of a Running Gag that any arc that features her will see her die once.
• Belated Love Epiphany: Finally free from being brainwashed to love Torg for years, she realizes she actually had some feelings for him outside of brainwashing, just as they say final goodbyes to part ways.
• Berserk Button: Two. Anybody she sees as a rival for Torg's affections, and anyone associated with HeretiCorp
  • "Override B-1!"
• Body Surf: While later disproven, Oasis once speculated that she might be some sort of spirit of vengeance, taking other people's bodies and using Transformation of the Possessed.
• Chronic Villainy: Several of her arcs involve her trying to get some measure of control over herself and even try to become a better person, but invariably either Hereti-Corp's interference, her own incurably insane obsession with Torg, or simply her naturally brutal nature cause her to be unable to.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: Clingy, and violently jealous, as demonstrated by the ice cream incident.
• Creepy Child:
  • I mean, just look at her! When the Orsintos scientists made her too angry, she burned down the building and killed quite a few of them.
  • Her caretaker at an orphanage attempted to put her to bed. Oasis responded by throwing a pencil at her. In a Million to One Chance, it pierced very close to a major artery in such a way that removing it would kill her, resulting in a permanent inconvenience with said pencil always sticking out of her leg. Said caretaker then realized that Oasis could kill her whenever she wanted to and deliberately caused this as a warning.
• Death Seeker: Implies this to one of her victims, telling him that while he is dead, at least he can die.
• Driving Question: What is Oasis? It doesn't drive the entire plot, but it remains one of the story's greatest mysteries.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: She may be an extremely violent, borderline sociopath, but she does care for her dead sensei, Feng, as well as her adoptive mother and sister, the Zalias, who were held hostage by Hereti Corp.
• Freak Out: Her personality and sanity change whenever she is subjected to trauma, such as death, nasty hits to the head, jealousy towards Zoe, and loss of loved ones. The latter two tend to result in insanity.
• Grew Beyond Their Programming: Whatever her true nature is, she is ultimately controlled by some sort of computer. But it would seem Dr. Steve actually intended for her to develop her potential beyond simply obeying his orders and become her own person. Shortly after Schlock reveals that she is actually a Kill Sat, she becomes able to disobey orders given via her control watch.
• Hammerspace: She has an apparently limitless supply of throwing knives. Lampshaded by Bun-bun. She does however need access to her pockets for them to appear.
• Healing Factor: One doctor says she has an incredible immune system and healing factor.
• Honey Trap: One of the tactics she uses when setting up marks she plans to rob to support her adoptive family.
• Immune to Fate: She is outside of the Fate Web and cannot be directly influenced by it, making her pose a serious threat to existence since the Fate Web was created to subtly manipulate events as a safeguard.
• Invisibility: Oasis's true body is an orbital satellite with a "techno-refraction-cloak", rendering her invisible.
• Kick The Son Of A Bitch: Her Override B-1 protocol causes her to instinctively kill every Hereticorp employee in the area, or even anyone who happens to be too close to their logo. A specific example was when she killed Monica, The Mole for the Cult of K'z'k, but only because she got a free hat from a company owned by Hereticorp.
• Kill Sat: Oasis's true form. Her name is actually an acronym for Organically Augmented Stealth Incendiary Satellite.
• Knight of Cerebus: Though not first non-comedic threat the main characters ever faced (she was first introduced in the midst of a slew of recurring storyline introductions, and her intro was still fairly humorous), it is through Oasis that most of the comic's darkest points were introduced (which led into one of the comic's largest Myth Arcs, and her storylines tend to be the grimmer, grounded and serious arcs where the comedy stops - only starting again in earnest once she's gone. It doesn't help that out of all of the other main recurring villains - who tend to be hammy and card carrying - Oasis is the least humorous even in a Black Humor sense, her insanity is played very straight, and she is rarely treated with anything but outright terror by the heroes.
• Loophole Abuse:
  • Override B-1 compels her to kill all Hereti Corp agents whenever she detects their presence. At first, she had few problems with this, since they were bad guys attempting to enslave her. But then Hereti Corp takes ownership of a pizza franchise. After slaughtering multiple franchises, she comes to the horrifying realization that those Hereti Corp employees were probably innocent, not to mention the customers she was killing too. She eventually learns how to retain some consciousness in this state and selectively focus only on the logo, therefore limiting the damage to the Hereti Corp symbol.
  • Deep down, she realizes the truth, but finds it difficult to consciously even question her "love" for Torg and snaps at anyone who suggests it might be part of her brainwashing. Her adoptive sister, Katie, suggests that she might be loopholing around this as well. Oasis denies this, but states that since everyone dies around her, she needs to stay away from him to protect him.
• Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter: Played with. She's the adopted daughter of a Mad Scientist, very beautiful, and in love with the hero, Torg. On the other hand, she only loves him because Steve told her to, which backfires on him when Bun-bun disables his control, making him unable to rescind the order.
• Meat-Sack Robot: Oasis is actually an artificially intelligent Kill Sat that controls a Remote Body created from a clone tank.
• Misplaced Retribution: Hereti-Corp killed her mentor, Feng, under Dr. Schlock's orders. After Hereti-Corp is dissolved, Oasis kills a space shuttle filled with newly unemployed Hereti-Corp minions, who, while former Punch Clock Villains, were not responsible for his death.
• Murder the Hypotenuse: Oasis has this as her default mode of dealing with any and all challengers for Torg's affection. She once tried this with Gwynn under the mistaken impression that Gwynn was Zoë. In the bROKEN arc, sees her finally identifying Zoë correctly... and believing Torg was "mistaken" when he said he didn't love Zoë.
• Naked First Impression: Named one of the books: Game Called On Account of Naked Chick.
• Nominal Hero: In her sanest incarnation yet, she stays in a small town learning to control herself under the tutelage of a sensei. During this time, she plays vigilante - in the sense that she makes anyone who breaks the law around her extremely dead no matter how harmless or deserving of death they actually are. Her sociopathic approach to killing others freaks out her host family, and her sensei even admits that just because she's killing criminals it doesn't make her any better, necessarily - rather that because she knows nothing but how to kill, it's better at least that she learns to direct that towards bad people. This works... somewhat... but ultimately doesn't last - and Bun-bun has a bit of fun deconstructing her fragile "never hurt the innocent" attempts the next time they meet.
• One-Woman Army: With knives alone, she has slaughtered hundreds of Hereti Corp soldiers, despite them being armed with guns and Mini-Mecha.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: She eventually develops a hobby of murdering rich evil sociopaths and stealing their stuff in order to support her adoptive family, the Zalias, since they are on the run from Hereti Corp.
• Playing with Fire: She is a pyrokinetic. Orsinto scientists discovered this painfully after torturing her with their tests. She doesn't seem to be completely aware of her own power and she has no conscious control over it. This fire is implied to have special qualities that are key to Schlock's plans. In truth, she isn't pyrokinetic. She is actually a Kill Sat with a weapon that can generate fires from orbit.
• Power Incontinence: She has almost no control over her pyrokinesis. It becomes much more precise if she receives orders to use it from Dr. Steve's voice through one of her control watches.
• Psychopathic Manchild: She's really messed up in a lot of ways, and these include a lack of maturity and a fondness of violence, the latter even after she decides to be a "hero".
• Remote Body: The true nature of her "immortality". Oasis is actually an artificially intelligent supercomputer, loaded on a satellite and controlling a clone body from a great distance.
• Resurrective Immortality: She is theorized to be one of these. It has yet to be made clear how she keeps showing up again after being shot, impaled, and blown up so many times. It's possible that this is just the result of her Healing Factor, but there is evidence it's not the case. In actuality, Oasis is an AI controlling Remote Bodies. There is a special place called the rebirth facility which creates her new clone bodies. Whenever she dies, a new clone is released from there and she leaves in a daze, not remembering exactly where she came out from.
• Stalker with a Crush: An extremely dangerous example.
• Subspace Ansible: Her "brain" is actually a supercomputer loaded on a satellite. While Hereti Corp doesn't know how it works for sure, they speculate that she communicates with her human clone body via quantum entanglement or portals, leaving the connection both traceless and with enough bandwidth to transmit entire intelligences.
• Super Prototype: In this strip Kusari is confused why Hereti-Corp is so obsessed with retrieving Oasis when Kusari herself is said to have been made as an improved replacement, but Schlock claims there is an unspecified difference that makes Oasis valuable. It's the fact that she's actually a stealth-cloaked satellite which if located and modified correctly could be used to Take Over the World.
• Tomato in the Mirror: People have speculated that Oasis is actually a robot, but Oasis has strenuously denied it. Eventually learning that it's essentially true actually helps her, breaking her free of all mental control.
• Tragic Monster: She never chose to be a violent, murderous, jealous Yandere. Her current condition is a result of years of training, conditioning, and a form of brainwashing that can no longer be altered, changed, or removed. Until she learns her true nature, which again proves to be a trigger allowing her to finally break free.
• Tyke-Bomb
• Wetware Body: She's an A.I. who incarnates into one of a myriad of clone bodies every time she dies.
• Wild Card: She would often swing between being an antagonist and ally of the main cast.
• Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: All she wants is for her one true love to return her love, and until he does, she'll slaughter everything in her path. She knows that she was essentially brainwashed by Steve Hereti into loving Torg, but can't help it anyway. This, coupled with her not knowing exactly what she is, is slowly driving her insane(er).
• Yandere: Then again, how stable could a Robot/Undying Clone trained to be an assassin with a mind-control enforced love be?

ZHOAS

Jane/Zombie Head on a Stick

A cruel zombie who is introduced as one of Gwynn's coworkers.

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• Asshole Victim: After getting reduced to Z.H.O.A.S., she has been subjugated to all sorts of abuse, but needless to say, she probably deserves it.
• Fate Worse than Death: After Gwynn gets revenge against her, her head ultimately falls off her body and she is later found by Torg. Torg attaches her head to a stick and uses her for his usual pranks. She has been subjugated to all sorts of abuse and begged for a Mercy Kill. After a Heel Realization, Torg finally decides they should grant her one.
• I'm a Humanitarian: She had to feed on body parts to regenerate her own.
• Killed Off for Real: Gwynn grants her a Mercy Kill by using a flower demon's Anti-Magic to counter the spells maintaining her undead state.
• Our Zombies Are Different: Her variety of zombie is created through a complex magic ritual and can't spread by bites or anything of that nature. They regenerate whatever they eat, and thus need to eat brains to maintain their intelligence.
• Really 700 Years Old: A benefit of being a zombie.
• X on a Stick: Her main selling point. The many Cloud Cuckoo Landers can immediately think of dozens of "practical" uses for a Zombie Head on a Stick.

Squishydodo

Squishydodo

A Black-Ops Christmas Elf that worked for Bun-bun till the Holiday Wars and thinks he is dead at the moment (due to Bun-bun wanting to lay low.)

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• Batman Gambit: Sets one up with his wife's help to manipulate Bun-bun and company into helping him. He sets up shop in a deserted Indian reservation, knowing that Bun-bun's greed would motivate him into wanting to set up a casino. And wanting to recruit Riff due being the original inventor of the Teleport Gun Hereti Corp uses, he badly screws up building Bun-bun's casino, resulting in Bun-bun allowing Riff over in return for helping build it.
• The Cavalry: Did this in a way that wouldn't raise the suspicions of Alien Santa (Thus giving Bun-bun the tool needed to defeat him.)
• Conflicting Loyalty: Had this during the Holiday Wars, but ultimately decided to side with Bunbun against Santa Claus.
• Dead Guy Junior: His son is named 'Squishybunbunbunbun' in honour of Bun-bun, who he believes to be deceased. Notably even other Christmas Elves think this is a case of Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?.
• Everything Is Racist: Uses this attitude to coerce a government lawyer into giving Bunbun permission to open a casino.
• Happily Married: With Slappyhoho, even having a son. Though it doesn't stop him getting involved in a drunken bet using a spy satellite to look into Hottiehothot's shower.
• Number Two: He starts out as 3rd in command of one company of Black-Ops Elves. After Leaderleadlead and his second are killed by Bunbun, he becomes number 2. After Bunbun is banished to Timeless Space, he once again falls 2nd in command to Thawtypopo, who expands Squishy's spying ideas into a full fledged Google Expy. After Thawtypopo is banished by Hereti Corp, he describes himself as made of this trope since all his previous bosses had bad things happen to them. He later ends up 2nd in command to Torg.
• Rewarded as a Traitor Deserves: He betrays alien Santa to Bunbun and Mrs. Santa asks Bunbun about this trope when Basphomy herself is subjected to it, but in his case it is averted.
• You Are in Command Now: He started out as third in command of a group of Black-Ops Christmas Elves who had abandoned Santa and gone freelance, rapidly rising to the top after Bun-bun threw both his superiors out of the window and Squishydodo decided to cooperate.