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Discworld Characters (Canonical)

In this fic, established canonical characters are written as closely to their canonical personalities as possible. For a full listing of tropes associated with these characters, please go to the associated character sheets for Discworld novels. Here, it will be kept strictly laconic.

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Discworld Characters (Ascended Extras)

Minor characters in the Discworld, or else very marginal characters referenced once or twice in Canon who may only have had the smallest speaking parts, or else none at all. Expanded by the author and fleshed out.

  • André Loudweather
    • Seen in Maskerade Despite being an important supporting character, his surname was never revealed. Here, he is given the family name "Loudweather" (say it out loud)and outed as a Straight Gay.
  • Johanna Smith-Rhodes
A tough cookie from the Howondalandian Veldt who was invited to join the Guild of Assassins after conducting an inhumation with seriously extreme prejudice in a border war at Home. An Asset to the Guild.
  • from Howondaland
  • from White Howondaland
  • Girly Bruiser
  • Greeneyed Redhead
  • Heel–Face Turn: she began as an Expy of a typical Afrikaaner, a white "South African", with some illiberal ideas concerning the status and worth of non-white people. Ten years in Ankh-Morpork have changed her to the point where she treats black people as equals and has black friends; she is now, very guardedly, something of a dissident against apartheid. Vetinari quietly encourages this. He may have some long-term goal in mind.
  • Impressive Pyrotechnics: She teaches this skill to senior student Assassins. Indeed, this is the essential skill that brought her to Guild attention in the first place.
That dem' gel is too fond of blowing things up, if you ask me! - an un-named Lord, possibly Ronald Rust.
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  • The Right Honourable Miss Alice Band
An [[Assassin]] and Stealth Archaeologist. Daughter of a Bishop and one who does not take fools gladly. Teaches at the Assassins' Guild School.
  • Preacher's Kid: she had a spiky and argumentative relationship with the Church of Blind Io and her bishop father. Her godfather and adoptive uncle is Chief Priest Hughnon Ridcully.
  • Straight Gay: She's a lesbian, but she doesn't act in the slightest stereotypical.
  • Transparent Closet: She does try to keep things about her sexuality on the quiet, but pretty much everyone either knows or suspects.
  • Igor, a Rogi
  • Jocasta Wiggs
A recently graduated Assassin who is thought of well by her former teachers, but suffers a degree of self-doubt and can't quite get it that people she had to call "sir" "ma'am" or "Miss" during her education now see her as a professional equal.
  • Emmanuelle Lapoignard Les Deux-Epées
A Quirmian Assassin, specialising in Swords and Bladed weapons. she is also strikingly attractive, possibly her most fearsome weapon of all.
  • Celebrity Paradox: Holtack finds her reminiscent of a whole list of classy French film actresses, including Catherine Deneuve, Jeanne Moreau, Annie Girardot, and Bardot herself. This is oddly intoxicating.
  • Belle de Jour: referenced.
  • Hot Teacher: most male pupils, and a goodly minority of female ones, are acutely aware of this. She also offers to teach Philip Holtack the use of swords. She stresses that she does not normally take private pupils, but is willing to make an exception in such an intriguing case.
  • Estrella Partleigh
Mainstay of the Campaign For Equal Heights

Discworld Characters (OC's)

Original characters devised by the author from his own Pratchett-guided imagination. Some of whom have taken on a very real life of their own.

  • Joan Sanderson-Reeves
The oldest person ever to qualify as a Licenced Assassin, after a very profitable career as an unlicenced practitioner. Her rise in the Guild has been meteoric. The Schoolteacher From Hell that we all remember.
  • The Dragon: nobody dares cross or contradict her, from the youngest school pupil to some very senior Assassins.
  • Grande Dame:
  • Klingon Promotion: it has occured to her that she is one of two or three, at most four, Assassins who could feasibly succeed Lord Downey as Guild Master. Downey is nervous; he knows she is a far better poisoner than he is. And she knows this makes him nervous. It amuses her.
  • You Are in Command Now; Downey leaves her in charge of the Guild while he is called to conference with Vetinari, and stranded at the palace by civil unrest. She is an extremely effective Acting Guild Mistress.
A junior graduate Assassin and Woman In Black.
  • Heidi Van Kruger
A junior graduate Assassin. She is finding reasons to stay in Ankh-Morpork, rather than to return Home where it is strongly hinted the Staadt wants her to repay her tuition fees by joining the secret police. some things are too unpleasant and nasty even for Assassins.
  • Ruth N'Kweze
A junior graduate Assassin. A Princess of the Royal House. (But as her father was over twenty wives and over a hundred children, this is hardly exclusive.)
  • Joe-le-Tahksi
A "MOKO" whose job involves moving people and things, often legally.
  • Melting Pot: a Morporkian of Klatchian Origin, Joe has a degree of Immigrant Patriotism and loves it in Ankh-Morpork. But he'd still define himself as Klatchian, if asked.
  • Olga Romanoff
A member of the nobility from Further Zlobenia, who chose to run away from home and study Witchcraft with the most potent babushkas on the Disc. Trained by the Lancre witches, she developed a specialist interest in broomsticks and flight technomancy. She became an Air Policewoman, a Witch Police Constable, in Sam Vimes' City Watch. As witches come with their own broomsticks, a great saving, Vimes snapped her up.
  • Russia: Her native country is of course Roundworld's Russia, turned Up to Eleven. She can get quite imperious and commanding - a Grande Dame in embryonic form - as befits a Romanoff.
  • Cluster F-Bomb: her language can get rather salty when under pressure and presents a Bilingual Bonus to anyone who understands a little Russian. Govno is the least of it.
  • Wrench Wench - her ability with broomsticks.

"Roundworld" Characters

Insofar as the author is aware, almost wholly fictional characters of his own devising. Although some are portmanteaus reflecting aspects of real people he was pleased to know at odd moments during his ongoing earthly existence.

  • Captain Alice Band
A woman soldier in the British Army. Daughter of a Bishop and Adjutant to the Welsh. Peeved that women are second-class soldiers (they were in 1985) who are not allowed in the front lines or to do any of the really exciting stuff. When on leave in London she stays with her friend Denise Holtack, but discreetly.
  • Preacher's Kid: her episcopal father is deeply concerned for her but unlike his opposite on the Discworld, is quietly accepting of her lifestyle choices.
  • Straight Gay: Like her Discworld counterpart, she's a completely unobtrusive lesbian.

  • Corporal Rafael Greenberg
An extremely capable NCO mysteriously rotated out of SpecialForces and posted back to a regular infantry unit, without explanation. Holtack is glad to have him but [[Useful Notes/Israel]] wonders why the SAS sacked him.
  • Denise Holtack
Philip's right-on politicised sister who works in her dream job as a costume designer for television. She is a close friend of Captain Alice Band, a fact which effectively prevents Alice from strangling Philip, despite regular provocation.
  • Philip Holtack
The Author Avatar around whom the action happens. A combination of shrewd ability and an obtuse inability to see the patently bleeding obvious. A junior officer, but accumulating enough practical experience to move on from being a typical Rupert. He is just enough of a dick not to be a Marty Stu.
  • "Boy" Hughes
The New Meat in Seven Platoon, a cheerful youth from Flintshire.
  • Gerard Francis McElroy
A member of a different sort of Army, who is not a nice guy to know. Slipped over to the Discworld in the same accident that brought the Welsh there.
  • "Head-Butt" Powell
A rogue from the Valleys who decided soldiering beat steelworking hands-down and offered more scope for cheerful villainy. In eleven years service he has risen to the rank of Fusilier. (private soldier).
  • Hans "Boer" Ruijterman
A Southern African career soldier with a little Welsh ancestry. If you call his native country "Zimbabwe" and not "Rhodesia" he might get irritated.
  • J.J. "47" Williams
  • Sergeant Dafydd Williams
  • Captain Tim Endion-Williams
A shrewd, capable and offensively cheerful Company Commander, from a family who own most of rural Denbighshire and the opposite of an Upper-Class Twit.
  • Colonel John Otway-Williams
''The Colonel. It is hinted that despite his generally mild exterior and his other life as a father and family man with a Hormone-Addled Teenager, he is capable of being Colonel Badass when the circumstances call for it.

Cameo Appearances By

Fictional characters from other notable Works, and occassional topical references to real people.

Other

Miscellaneous personages.

A mysterious bag-lady who gets around a bit and is good at evading notice, or, if noticed, evading capture.Called into being partly out of the wreckage of the Shopping Mall Parasite (see Reaper Man) and an idea that leaked over from Roundworld dark imagining.
  • The Ankh-Morpork Unidentified Flying Object Research Association
A bunch of delusional fools, the Discworldian equivalent of a Saucer Cult, who insist that The Kite was an alien spaceship that will some day return, rather than a da Quirm vessel that was torn apart as "salvage" by their fellow Ankh-Morporkians.

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