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Arthur "Art" Mathews

"Damn. CTRL-Z. Damn! Pens need an ‘undo’ function!"
  • Accidental Pervert: Is actually this about 90% of the time.
  • Adorkable
  • Adult Fear: Of Rebecca.
  • All Men Are Perverts: Not as much or as loudly as Pip, though.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows
  • Butt-Monkey
  • Child Hater: Has a rather comical rivalry with the local kids. Downplayed but somewhat justified as they often pick on him specifically and seem to have somehow acquired military training and weapons, such as tear gas.
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  • Cool Bike: The squirrels improved his moped, so he could get safely to work on the frozen roads. They gave it multible legs making it similar to a large legged Robot. Naturally, Art is very thankful for it.
  • Deadpan Snarker
  • Death Glare: Arthur's on the receiving end of one from both Kat and Hilary (mostly from Kat), justified since he jokingly suggested them to work together to make money and was a bit perverted.
  • Grumpy Bear: Rather ill-tempered, but still an OK guy.
  • Only Sane Man: When he's not succumbing to Not So Above It All tendencies.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: His actual name is Arthur Mathews, but most people just call him Art.
  • Shipper on Deck: Averted on multiple occasions:
    • Art talked Pip out of beginning a relationsship with Fern whom the penguin had met in an online game. His reasons were justified though, since the odds weren’t in Pip’s favor that Fern actually was as attractive as her in-game avatar and was more likely to be someone like Pip himself, a guy as well. Art was wrong.
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    • He doesn’t support Pips’ relationship with Hilary either, which is justified. Initially, he was supportive of it, but then Hilary broke Pips’ heart.
  • Team Dad: Downplayed and mixed with Cloudcuckoolander's Minder, Art acts like a father figure as he’s in charge of telling the Squirrelgirls about morals, not eating everything in the house and what the denizens can do (specifically keeping their creepy butts in the basement). When he discovered that the Squirrels had kept King Liam cleaning up the basement for years, Art was relieved since “How deceiving someone into permanent servitude is wrong, is a much easier subject” as opposed to telling them about relationships.
  • Terrified of Germs: Played with. The second Pip starts sneezing, Art dons a hazmat suit.
    Pip has the plague, I refuse to get it this year.
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  • Token Human
  • Walking Techbane: Technology explodes in his presence.
  • Wardrobe Wound: Nonchalantly inflicted by Kat's claws, as an excuse to go shopping. "You're paying for that!"

Kathleen "Kat" Vance

Kat: "Ooo-kaay, So, I bought myself a Platypus"

Phillip "Pip" McGraw

  • Adventures In Coma Land: Locks himself in a fridge during a power outage and does a quest from Fallout 4. The arc concludes with Art giving him CPR.
  • All Men Are Perverts: So much so that he apparently has hidden cameras in the house for when the sexual tension between Art and Kat finally reaches its breaking point.
  • A Date with Rosie Palms: Much to his roommates’ chagrin, he frequently does this, and leaves his porn collection to be found after wards. He once commented that a terabyte of porn would only get him through a week.
  • Amicable Exes: Even after all Hilary did, Pip is still willing to sell things to her on a regular basis, he justifies it, claiming she’s “a good customer”.
  • Break the Cutie: What Hilary did to him.
  • Butt-Monkey
  • Crazy Survivalist: Possibly a result of his reclusive nature and his obsession with Fallout. When the Coronavirus panic began and people began stocking up on toilet paper, Pip was way ahead of them.
  • Comedic Sociopath: Often cowardly while at home, but he sticks up for his friends during the battles in later arcs.
  • Cosplay: Pip have a passion for this and have no reservations about who he cosplays (like Catwoman).
  • Dirty Coward: When the pair was confronted by Jack, Pip fled instantly, leaving Scarlet to fend for herself and locked the door behind him.
  • Everything's Better with Penguins
  • Furry Reminder: Pip has one of these when Kat is chastising him for not wanting to feed Leonard. He points out that his natural paternal instincts do make him want to feed Leonard, but he's fighting it because birds feed their young by regurgitating food into their mouths. Pip has another reminder when it comes up that he has to "double flush" when he poops because "birds can't chew".
  • Greed: Pip has been called an “arch-capitalist” and he repeatedly proves that the title is rightfully earned. There’s nothing that penguin won’t sell online, case in point: One of the first things he tried to do with Scarlet was to sell her to a guy named Eurin. The only reason the sale went through was because Kat got involved. This trait sometimes leads into UnwittingInstigatorOfDoom territory, such as when he sold an ensorcelled closet or a button that allegedly kills people when pushed (the latter for free).
  • Hidden Depths: During his time with Hilary he revealed in his sleep that he was legitimately happy to be dating her not just because of her looks, but because Hilary seemingly shared his interests and wanted to spend time with him. The very same comic where he admits this also had him drugged and saying it in his sleep while Hilary went off to have sex with her actual boyfriend.
  • Jerkass
  • Nerd: Big time! Be it video games (especially Lorecraft), movies or comics, Pip is into it on an almost religious level. He considers his comic collection to be so vast, that it can act as a counterweight to a destabilized building!
  • Opaque Nerd Glasses: Massive lenses that completely hide his eyes.
  • Pity Sex: From Hilary. Well, partly.
  • Sarcasm-Blind: One time when he asks Art if the latter has a huge sum of money to cover his eBuy purchase, Art nonchalantly says he has tons under his bed, and Pip tore Art's mattress to find out:
    Pip: I see naught but lint and springs...
    Art: Sarcasm, Pip, sarcasm!
  • Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: When bad things to happen to him, it's usually the result of karma for him being an asshole. Except for what Hilary did to him.


"Ok, something happened, but I’m mostly positive it wasn’t bad"
  • Accidental Pervert: Together with her sisters, they design of the Candycane 2.0, completely oblivious to it's heavy resemblance to something else.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: Iz shiny!
  • Big Eater: Scarlett have repeatedly been shown to eat absurd amounts of food, such as her own weight in Christmas confectionary or everything in the fridge, which is normal for her. She never gains an extra pound for it though, as lampshaded by Kat below.
    Kat: "Where the hell do you put all that stuff, anyway?"
  • Did Not Think This Through: Her inability to focus sometimes channels into her not considering the long term ramifications of her actions, like how the inventions and modifications she creates may backfire.
  • Dreadful Musician: Kat and Art have. Once Pip even sent her to sing to Kat as a prank, while she was hungover.
  • Eating the Eye Candy: She and her sisters really like to watch King Liam clean the basement.
  • Gone Horribly Right: 'Fixing' the gun replica from the comics convention.
  • Hive Mind: With her sisters. Their connection is the reason why Scarlet is such a ditz early on.
  • Innocent Fanservice Girl: Though she's not so innocent that she doesn't appreciate a gender flipped version of this trope.
  • The Leader: Despite sharing a hive mind with her sisters, Scarlet sometimes has to direct the other three due to being more aware of the outside world, her time away from them helping her become an individual, and because she's not agoraphobic.
  • L33t L1ng0: Her name is spelled 5C4RL37.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: She's left in tears while hiding after Kat is kidnapped in her place, exclaiming to Art and Pip how she "Messed up again."
  • Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: Originally a once-in-a-while gag to show off her Hidden Depths. It turns out to be an aspect of the squirrel hivemind she belongs to.

Violet, Amber and Jade

  • Breast Expansion: They advise against eating anything with Muto juice in it, since one of them temporarily grew enormous breasts after having it tested on them.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: When it comes to King Liam the girls get a little territorial.
    Kat: Look at the way they're looking at him… Aaaaand the way they look at ME when I look at him.
  • Colourful Theme Naming: With Scarlet.
  • Gadgeteer Genius
  • Hikikomori: Due to OZBASIC making them agoraphobic.
  • Hive Mind
  • Idiot Hair: Amber's ahoge.
  • L33t L1ng0: Their names as spelled are V10L37, 4M83R, and J4D3.
  • Mad Scientists
  • Out of Focus: Even after they find a work-around for their fear of open spaces, they're rarely featured.
  • Satellite Character: They're practically never seen apart. Justified: their minds work better when they're within (telepathic? radio?) range of each other.
  • Speak in Unison: They do this when their Hive Mind intelligence is at its zenith, since they are thinking on the exact same wavelengths and thus reach the same conclusions.
  • Weaksauce Weakness: Severe agoraphobia, forced upon them to keep them from running away like Scarlet did. They also have to stay close to each other or end up half-wits until they rejoin the hive.


Vanity Thorn



  • Adorable Evil Minions: While following Jack.
  • Dark Is Not Evil
  • The Engineer: They might be a bunch of oddballs, but they also fill several slots in this trope, they’ve even built a functional fleet of TIE-Fighters! Just because they watched a marathon!
  • Fanboy: They love their soap operas and Star Wars (especially Stormtroopers).
  • Heel–Face Turn: Like ants, they have to have a master. Kat and Art don't want to be that master (and they really don't want Pip or Scarlet to be that master).
  • Living Shadow
  • Miming the Cues: The Denizens try to mime what a multilimbed headless horror is to Kat. It fails spectacularly.
    Kat (to the denizens): Um, ears, wrestling, rolling around… Sumo Rabbit Orgy?
  • Mundane Utility: What they're used for.
  • Our Ghosts Are Different: Evolved from the shadow of a hanged man.
  • Super Toughness: Downplayed, those little guys are surprisingly durable. Kat and Art tried several things to get them to leave, all in vain: vacuuming doesn’t work, emptying a can of bug spray only get three of them stoned and the denizens microwave themselves for fun.
  • Too Spicy For Yogsothoth: Downplayed, one denizen got caught and eaten by a bird of prey, which almost immediately vomited it back up.
  • The Voiceless: An impediment which they don’t seem to be aware of themselves, as one denizen tried to phone home after getting lost only for Art, who took the call, to not be able to hear anything.


Hilary Locke

"Correction: You know The Hilary!"
  • Alpha Bitch: She was this in school with Kat and continues to act like one as an adult.
  • Attention Whore: Pretty much her motivation for 99% of everything she does. In fact, the reason she hates Kat is because they both had the same Pink Pony lunch box as little girls, and Hilary was afraid that Kat would take attention and popularity away from her because of it.
  • Bait-and-Switch Boss: Initially it looks like she took over Narni-Narni-Nar-Nar after Pip sold her the wardrobe with the portal. Turns out it was actually Ms. B.
  • Battle Strip: Subverted, after being split into three distinct clones, one of the clones needs to be tackled and subdued by another, but the other clone decides that means ripping clothing and removing the pants too.
  • Bleached Underpants: Her early career in... films... is an Old Shame.
  • Brains and Bondage: Downplayed, Hillary isn’t implied to be overtly educated, but she has the brains to manipulate others to rise in the hierarchy. Her sex-life with Pip is full of bondage, such as using him as a footstool, hanging him up with a gag in his mouth or using a riding crop on him.
  • Break the Haughty: Losing her job.
  • Dark Secret: She's done porn under the stage name "Gabrielle Goodtime." Pip has the videos and gives Art photos as blackmail to make Hilary stop abusing him while she was a client of his studio.
  • Defrosting Ice Queen: Subverted. Her seeming affection to Pip was just a ruse and she's still just as horrible as before.
  • Disproportionate Retribution: Why does she hate Kat so much? She had the same Pink Pony lunchbox as Hilary when they were both kids.
  • The Dragon: Ms. B makes Hilary her Dragon, literally.
  • Evil Redhead: Colorations depict her with red hair.
  • Fake Boobs: Heavily implied and it appears that Hilary doesn't want people to know.
  • Fallen-on-Hard-Times Job: Much to her chagrin, Hilary is forced to take a job in a second-hand store after she lost her job.
  • Hair-Raising Hare: She may be attractive, but she revels in the misery of others.
  • Hate Sink: Every appearance she made showed her doing nothing but antagonizing Kat, and then later Art just because he's friends with Kat. It seemed that losing her job and all her equally slimy friends abandoning her was the karmic wake-up call she needed to be a better person, but then it turned out she was just as horrible as ever. She tricked Pip into thinking they were in a relationship by sleeping with him once, then used him to cover her shifts at the thrift store so she could sleep her way back to a high paying job. Oh, to be especially cruel, she gave Kat her store keys so she could bring them to Pip and let her be the one to tell Pip the truth just to make Kat uncomfortable.
  • It's All About Me: She hates Kat because Kat had the exact same lunchbox when they were kids and Hilary couldn't stand the idea the lunchbox didn't make her special.
  • Kissing Cousins: That’s what she told Pip anyway. Naturally, Kat is squicked out.
  • Literal Split Personality: After Kat split her from the squirrelgirls, Hillary has been divided in a number of clones, which possess different aspects of the main ones’ personality, one is slutty (immediately offering to show her breasts for money) while another is vengeful (threatens bodily harm on the squirrels for what they’ve done). And finally there's a third clone, which is apologetic and readily apologizes for everything she's ever done to anyone (Kat in particular) and tearfully admits to having been a bitch.
  • Manipulative Bitch: Puts on a sob story act to make Pip feel bad for her, cemented with sleeping with him, to get him to cover her hours at the thrift store. She also drugs him and makes him believe they're still having sex while it allows her to bring her actual boyfriend over and sleep with him while Pip's mumbling about how happy he is to be with Hilary.
  • Pyromaniac: One of her clones has this in spades, threatening others with burning down their house.
  • Sadist: She takes sick enjoyment in making Kat be the one to tell Pip the truth about their "Relationship."
  • Sex for Solace: Averted.
  • Slut-Shaming: Kat frequently calls her "Bitch" and "Slut," and the narrative is geared towards portraying her as a bad person for using sex to get what she wants.
  • Slasher Smile: Gives one in the last panel of this page when giving Kat her work keys to give to Pip.
  • Teacher's Pet: Miss Strinpit favored her over Kat, giving Hilary rather simple questions and then following up by forcing Kat to answer ones so complicated and overly advanced they flustered the poor girl (to which Strinpit would then give her detention for "Not listening.")

Mr. Jackson


  • Ms. Fanservice: To the point that Mr. Jackson once orders her to undress in camera to boost site viewing.


Mr. Thumbless

  • Expy: Of Mr. Tumbness.
  • Squick: In-universe, he literally has no thumbs, but carries the severed digits around and even tosses them at the flying gorilla guards.
    Thumbless: Oh, these aren't my thumbs.

Ms. B

  • Evil Is Petty: Many of the nasty things she does is driven by her petty desire to wear specific fashion. When first seen, she brings forth an Endless Winter to Narni-Narni-Nar-Nar just so that she can be Pretty in Mink. In her second appearance, she repays Hilary's fashion advices by turning the latter into her dragon steed. Then when Liam restores the realm to normal, she is furious because the scorched wasteland complimented her new outfit.
  • The Fashionista: She loves wearing fashionable threads, and she will do everything to justify her wearing said fashion. Her love of fashion also becomes her downfall: Art's boot design distracts her enough for Kat to smack her head, and she panics when her dragon nearly scorches her boots collection.
  • Meaningful Name: The pun is pretty transparent.
  • Mistaken Identity: Kat (and probably the audience) mistake her for Hilary in her second appearance due to her Cool Helmet having a bunny ear like shape.
  • Expy: Of the White Witch of Narnia.
  • Squick: The power of the sun didn't quite repair her face correctly. She got better.
  • Took a Level in Badass: In her second appearance.

King Liam

"I am King Liam, Keeper of the Balance, Wielder of the Summer Light, Warden of Winter, Washer of Dishes, Reaper of Dust and He who smites stains"
  • Expy: of Aslan.
  • Naked People Are Funny: A few of the comedies about him stem from his lack of outfit.
  • Furry Reminder: He hunted a red dot from a laser pen, subverted as Liam claims he thought it was a sprite.
  • The Good King: Certainly seems to have the attitude.
  • I Have Many Names: King Liam have several titles, not all of which are as glamourous as he makes them out to be, see character quote.
  • Mr. Fanservice: King Liam is handsome, built like a brick house, and is ALWAYS naked.
  • Walking Shirtless Scene: Comes with being naked for ALL your on-panel time.

Rebecca Mace

  • Cargo Ship: With Vanessa...
  • I Call It "Vera": ...Who is her personal dressmaker dummy.
  • Companion Cube: In a lesbian relationship with a mannequin.
  • The Dreaded: To Art and Pip. Justified as she found where they lived and hammered at their door until the police took her away. Years later, Art can still hear the sounds he made at night.
  • This Is Unforgivable!: She's still... sore about what Art and Pip did to Vanessa.
    (Upon seeing Art again after presumably a very long time) MURDERER!
  • Your Makeup Is Running: To show how messed up she became after losing 'Vanessa', she's seen with her eyeshadow smeared all around her eyes.

Roger and Jessica Lapin


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