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Characters / Semiautomagic Inc.

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The Task Force & White Council

     The Task Force 

Solomon Byron

Wizard philosopher specializing in alchemy and professor at OSU, frequently the Only Sane Man. Likes his coffee black and his beefs roasted. Came into his power as a wizard by accepting a bargain with the Morrigan and immediately trying to weasel out of it.

Fiona P. Quirk

Hipster fae barista, snatched from her creche as a babe and raised in the Autumn Court of Faerie, runs Magic Beans, big fan of Dippin' Dots. Recently began a long-time relationship with Piroa Dalma.

Rowan Dravulavic Drift

Half-faerie bounty hunter, last prince of the Spring Court and bearded malcontent. Dislikes authority, might have a boyfriend, kind of bad at knowing how gambling works.
     The White Council 

Salvador Hernandez

Solmon's Boss, High Warden of the Northwest, responsible for all White Council Wardens under his command operating in the city. Big dude, no hair, much beard, light/radiation powers.

Piroa Dalma

Sometimes called Pirogi Dalai Lama, head arcanogeographer and magiphysicist at the WC; magics are based on movement, momentum and physics, dangerously competent in ASL, secretly hilarious. Recently began a long-time relationship with Fiona P. Quirk.

Wake Wagner

Blood Knight Lite, sometimes called Punchy McHuge, enjoys a good bowl every Wednesday at his customary lane in the Laneportlandia Bowl-Hole & Nacho Laboratory, wields Moses Maimonides and Gary, the Dustup Cousins, a pair of ancestral, enchanted knuckledusters. Currently in therapy. Also currently King of the Mole-Men, surface-groom to a mole-wife and father of two mole-children.

Orion Bailey

Actually in charge of the WC's daily activities and organization.

Delilah Oddwater

Bureacromancer and paper-magus

Karen In Accounting

Just a delight, loves piggy figurines and other porcine decor, will not let you leave without a tupperware of butterscotch brownies, sworn blood-foe of Johnny Vampire, current cochair of the Procyonidae And Wyldfae Society along with Diane.

Desmond Yonwood

Head arcanoscientician of the WC, responsible for such magimarvels as the Go-There Circle and the Speakeasy. Has had a checkered past with illegal magics, and is stated to have a history with Piroa and Wake.

Landportlandians 2015

     The Brothers Dave 
At least seven siblings, all called Dave, who occupy varying levels of prestige and influence in the magical community.Besides the Daves listed here, an additional pair of Daves, Mother Dave and Forgotten Dave, have been speculated upon but have yet to be conclusively proven.

Magic Dave

The Dave that makes with the magic.

Nameless Dave

The Dave who sacrificed his name—and so his clan— for an unknown compensation. Occasionally sends cryptic postcards, never from the same place twice, rarely in the same language twice.

Non-Magic Dave

Software engineer for Intertechtrodecorp who makes financial programs, has absolutely no desire to be a part of the weirdness most of his brothers get up to, but nonetheless has a habit of acquiring information he really shouldn't have. Keeper of the Orange Julius Tokens.

Risky Dave

actually entirely trustworthy; earned his name because there is no risk so great he won't take it to help someone in need and so often finds himself in trouble but for very noble reasons. The most Lawful Dave.!Sketchy DaveYour source on the street for less than legitimately obtained information and extremely erratic if generally benign behavior. Super gross. Employs Diane as a secretary, assistant, bail bondsman and all-around Judy to his Dr. McNinja.

Stand-Up Dave

Honestly just the Michael Jordan of being a sonofabitch; earned his name because if someone needs help he will stand up and leave. Not actually a BAD person, but not capable of withstanding the psychic pressure of anyone depending on him for literally anything. Okay actually a pretty bad person, sells backpack bathtub gin to tenth graders out back the GameStop and treats with visibly impaired high school coaches looking to procure chemically unstable booze for his football team. Unwittingly aided The Huntress in framing Coach Hendergast for an astounding array of truly serious crimes, not that he would've cared if he'd known. God, that guy is the worst.

Traitorous Dave (*achtpoo*)


     The Landportlandian League of Jewish Draculas 

A coven of ethnically, nationally, and/or religiously Jewish vampires who operate out of the B'Nai Dracula Synagogue.

Johnny Vampire

Accountant extraordinaire, resides in the Dark Womb of Accountancy, blood-foes with Karen In Accounting, inexplicably best friends with Rowan and eventual slayer of the Chanukabra.

Mrs. Vampire

Johnny's beloved mother, makes a hell of a food despite being dead and not eating, somehow has Solomon's phone number.

Rabbi Vampire (No Relation)

Rabbi of the B'nai Dracula Synagogue for the last seven thousand years. May or may not be hilarious.
     Other Landportlandians 


Just a hard-working, independent raccoon who don't need no man, but is still employed by one because that degree in Library Science isn't gonna pay for itself. Cochair of the Procyonidae And Wyldfae Society with Karen In Accounting.

Xavier Tangleforth V

Last scion of a once-prestigious house and curator of the Landportlandian Museum of Weird History. Has spent his life and his family's fortune bringing knowledge of the world's weird history to the public, accruing no small amount of fairly dangerous, semi-forbidden lore and artifacts along the way. Super into Rowan and kinda sorta maybe dating him by the end of Season 1.

     The Chirurgeons 
A mysterious group operating out of St. Skinner's Barre & Grylle & Hospytol, and implied to have been there for a very, very long time. They present a truly horrifying True Neutral option between angels and demons; they aren't evil exactly, as much as they have a Blue and Orange Morality that revolves around the fact that they feed off of pain and suffering, physical, mental, spiritual, emotional or otherwise. As a result they have become very, very good at keeping people alive, even when their patients have other ideas. Dr. Bismark’s brother is implied to have been in their keeping for many years, and at the end of Season 1 she offers herself to them in exchange for their help at the Battle of Landportlandia. Her fate is unknown.They are, through unknown means, the source of the city and perhaps the country's entire supply of Three Eye.

The Administrator

Little is known, and that's the way we like it.

The Reverend Stitch

A bald, androgynous figure who wears an old fashioned medical coat, rubber smock, long, tapering gloves and a surgical mask that appears to have been sewn over its mouth. Incredibly upsetting but fairly reasonable and willing to make a deal if you've got something it wants. If it asks you how you're feeling say you feel great.

The Court of Mists & The Knights of Mist

     The Court of Mists 

Oberon, the Lord of Mists

A sinister, otherworldly entity with designs on Landportlandia. Ultimately revealed to have been trying to harness the energy of the city to find his and Titania's dead son Damh still alive somewhere in time.
     The Knights of Mist 


An ethereal being seemingly made of malicious wind, was born after the Faerie Court Civil War when Titania and Mab attempted to create the first faerie soul in hopes of resurrecting Damh, who was consort to Mab and son of Titania and Oberon. It failed, and created an intelligence too hideous and insane even for the faeries.

Theodore Preson VIth

Rich boy who was suffocating under the weight of his family history and father's expectations; was approached by Altozephyr and offered the chance to become a Vassal and serve the Lord of Mists, and the freedom to choose his own life in exchange for protecting a reliquary of power. Was given a ring, with which he manipulated the minds of his parents and teachers into letting him do whatever he wanted. Ultimately wiped his own mind rather than be taken in by the Task Force.

The Huntress

An ancient deity of the hunt and wild places of the world whose influence and spirit shrank as modernization destroyed her places of power. Impersonated and framed Coach Hendergast, getting him arrested and ultimately killed in a prison riot before he could stand trial.

Sirnef, the Grey Wolf

The Huntress' true companion and big ol' doggenfüs.

anuary Oleander

Middle school music teacher at Clackamas Middle School. Her music program was about to be shut down for good in favor of giving more funding to the football team, when she was approached by The Huntress, who offered her a Vassalage and the chance to save her program in exchange for protecting a reliquary of the Huntress' and the Lord of Mist's power. She accepted, and Coach Hendergast was framed for a frankly pretty impressive array of crimes, the football program was shut down entirely and January's music program was given all the funding and proceeded to flourish. Was found dead in her home after the Task Force destroyed the reliquary.

Mother Harvest

An ancient fertility and harvest goddess who, like the Huntress, saw a marked decrease in her power base with Landportlandia's industrialization. Disguised herself as Cybelle, Joel Heck's assistant.

Joel Heck

Foreman of a long-standing granite quarry just outside urban Landportlandia that had fallen on hard times and was, unbeknownst to his many employees, about to shut down entirely when he was approached by Mother Harvest, who offered him new life for his business and a Vassalage in exchange for guarding her reliquary. When he accepted, she abducted the entire local chapter of the Foundation For Diabetic, Dyslexic Child Refugees With Chronic Italianism, and shortly thereafter Joel and his crew found a new seam of granite that was of absolutely unprecedented quality and in seemingly inexhaustible supply. He disappeared after the Task Force confronted him.

The Wee Free Men

     The Wee Free Men 
A loose confederation of, as one might imagine, wee faeries who request Fiona's protection from what turns out to be Oberon and his Court of Mists.


Coleader of the Wee Free Men. Excitable but practical and levelheaded. By faerie standards, anyway. Cochair with Diane of the Procyonidae And Wildfae Society.


Coleader and First Captainant of the Wee Free Men. Much more easily riled than his partner. Heart in the right place. Somewhere.

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