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John "J.D." Dorian

John Michael "J.D." Dorian

The king of Cloud Cuckoo Land.

Played By: Zach Braff

"I don't think people are meant to be by themselves. That's why if you actually find someone you care about, it's important to let go of the little things, even if you can't let go all the way. Because nothing sucks more than feeling all alone, no matter how many people are around."

Simply known as J.D., he is the show's protagonist and resident doctor. The show depicts the problems and fears he has to face in the hospital, accompanied by his Inner Monologue. J.D. may just be the embodiment of a Cloudcuckoolander for his most prominent habit of daydreaming, which almost always ends with a weird comment said out loud which, of course, nobody but him understands. Despite being an enthusiastic, clumsy person with a lot of self-doubt, he is an intelligent good-by-heart doctor, who cares deeply about his patients.

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• Absurd Phobia: In "My Day Off" J.D. and Turk both bring up J.D. being afraid of pennies. This is really only a one-off joke though, as it never comes up again.
• Affectionate Nickname:
  • Carla calls him "Bambi" from time to time because he tends to look a deer in the headlights, when his thoughts are interrupted and when he's brought back to earth after he gets lost in his own imagination. He was initially embarrassed by the name but he warmed up to it. The name was embarrassing on two levels, mainly because of the Disney origin but the name also meant "young girl".
  • His father Sam and his brother Dan call him "Johnny", although in one episode where neither of them appear, he suddenly thinks to himself that he hates that name.
• Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: The smallest thing can cause him to tilt his head up and have a fantasy, no matter how dire the situation is. Elliot and Turk even use it to their benefit on more than one occasion.
• Big Brother Mentor: Sharply contrasted with Dr. Cox's sink-or-swim approach, and also deconstructed in that it is J.D.'s style of teaching that is considered terrible, stemming from his own personal need for everyone to "like" him.
• Bumbling Sidekick: When he's around Dr. Cox.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: However eccentric he becomes (and they really pushed this one in later seasons), he is consistently shown as an excellent doctor, with Cox describing him as one of the best he's ever seen. J.D. is very caring and compassionate and he doesn't give up on his patients, his treatments are good and he never kills a single patient throughout the entire series.^note Patients that die under his care don't die because of J.D., but because of other complications. He eventually gets rated as the #1 doctor of Sacred Heart because of the above. In "My New Coat", where J.D. wears a white coat in order to boost his own ego as a doctor, when J.D.'s treatment of Mr. Blair seemingly causes the latter to lose his sense of smell, it ultimately isn't his fault, but after talking about it with Dr. Cox, J.D. takes the blame anyway so that the patient can feel better.
• Butt-Monkey: He gets most of the physical comedy and gets hurt off-screen, he ends up homeless at the end of Season 4 until Elliot lets him move in with her and then he ends up homeless again for a good part of Season 6. His friends tend to give him little to no respect and he's always mocked for who he is by pretty much everyone. Not to mention he is constantly tormented by the Janitor who goes out of his way to make J.D.'s life miserable just because he can.
• Camp Straight: It wouldn't be completely out of line to presume J.D. is gay after his flanderization. His apparently "gay" relationship with Turk has even been addressed as they both insist they don't feel that way at all, even in song.
• Cannot Tell a Joke: Season 5 is the best example of this. At first he thinks he's funny, but the Janitor reveals to him that his interns are just kissing his ass (Not literally) by pretending his jokes are funny. Once they stopped kissing his ass, there was an awkward silence as he laughed at his own terrible joke.
• Character Development: While his core character traits end up flanderized as time goes on, he does mature as a person during Season 7 and stops grabbing the Jerkass Ball as frequently. He also becomes a better doctor and mentor. Comparing his anxiety in the pilot episode to his mentor role in Season 8 is like night and day.
• Character Tics:: He tilts his head and stares off to the side when he flies into a daydream.
• The Chew Toy: He endures a lot of physical pain for the sake of comedy. Some episodes like "My Last Chance" or "My Buddy's Booty" have him getting hurt and humiliated repeatedly.
• Chick Magnet: Over the course of the series, he got a dozen girlfriends or other women interested in him, not including romantic partners in his past.
• Chronic Hero Syndrome: One of his most consistent traits is that J.D. simply cannot walk away when someone's in trouble. Dr Cox admitted once that the reason why he first took an interest in J.D. was because he actually cares about his patients.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Almost constantly drifting off into daydreams, only to snap out of it with a strange comment. Lampshaded later in the series when we see what it's like for other characters to watch him during these bits, with them often becoming bemused or annoyed at having to wait for him to drift back into reality.
• Cool Teacher: Deconstructed in Season 3 when he acts more like a friend then a mentor, then even further in Season 5 when J.D. ends up showing favoritism towards the worst intern and breaking his own rules and gets called out on it by Dr. Cox, after which J.D. does the right thing. Reconstructed in Season 8 when J.D. is finally mature enough to be a tough but fair mentor and he continually pushes Denise to be an even better doctor but doesn't overstep his boundaries.
• The Cutie: J.D.'s childlike innocence and sensitivity is part of his eccentricity.
• Deadpan Snarker: Mostly in the earlier seasons toward the antics of his friends and the hospital. He tries to be this with Carla, the Janitor and Dr. Cox with mixed results.
• Demoted to Extra: In season 9, along with everyone who isn't Turk or Dr. Cox due to the focus shifting to Med Students.
• Did I Say That Out Loud: He always comes out of a fantasy with some kind of comment that makes whoever he's talking to give him an odd stare. And half of the time when he's narrating, he ends up saying something that only makes sense to him.
• Ditzy Genius: He is an extremely skilled Doctor with a very goofy personality.
• Embarrassing Nickname: He accidentally introduces to Molly as "Johnny", but he actually hates that name. For some reason. His father and brother both call him "Johnny" and he doesn't show any signs of minding it.
• Endearingly Dorky: He's an incredibly friendly and nerdy guy who has fantasies in his head and narrates all the time in his head. It's one of the reasons his patients and friends like him so much because he's so approachable.
• Fatal Flaw: Pride. He's so determined not to be seen as wrong that it backfires on him massively, like when he's too proud to admit that he's never heard of Jiggly Ball to the Janitor.
• Flanderization:
  • J.D. went from a genuine, though quirky person into some kind of extremely feminine super-geek manchild.
  • His desire for Dr Cox's approval. In the early seasons, J.D. wanted his respect and for Cox to act as his mentor but was also aware that Cox was a seriously damaged man and while a very skilled doctor, not someone for J.D. to emulate and he was even willing to call Cox out when he went too far. From about season 5/6, J.D. is completely obsessed with earning Cox's approval and being seen not just as an apprentice but a surrogate son, even as Cox treats him like shit on a regular basis.
• Foolish Sibling, Responsible Sibling: The Responsible to Dan's Foolish.
  • However, in the time between "My New Suit" and "My Inconvenient Truth", their role switched, as J.D. when through extreme Flanderization in season 6 into a Manchild who spends too much time goofing off and is unable to take care of himself, while Dan got his life together, got a new job he's really good at, and has saved enough money that he can afford to spontaneously buy J.D. a new car. Dan calling him out on this (and Carla, Elliot, Ted, Kelso, Cox, and even Turk agreeing with Dan) serves as a much-needed wakeup call to J.D. and he begins to clean up his act.
• Freudian Excuse: It's implied that some of his more feminine traits stem from his lack of strong male role models growing up (his father was a good guy, but a bit immature, and often preoccupied with work), which also goes a long way toward explaining why he's so eager to see Dr. Cox as a surrogate father. It's also implied that his brother Dan's laziness and immaturity strongly influenced his desire to succeed at all costs, since all of his parents' hopes wound up pinned on him.
• Groin Attack: For their first date, he and Kim ride horses without saddles at the beach. While Kim has fun, J.D. is in absolute pain. Thankfully, Kim being a urologist checks on him immediately.
• Happily Married: To Elliot by Season 9, with the two of them expecting their first child.
• Has a Type: J.D.'s romantic interests have a remarkable tendency to be blond, beautiful women with weird personality quirks. Elliot, his first love of the series, might have something to do with establishing that trend.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Turk; they've been friends since college and their friendship is so strong that Carla has said sometimes she's afraid that Turk will leave her for J.D. They're so close that most of the recurring or one shot characters have thought they were a gay couple at least once.
• Hypocrite: J.D.'s other fatal flaw, especially in regards to his brother.
• Innocent Bigot: Whenever J.D. attempts to be Pretty Fly for a White Guy, or does a Black guy impression, it inadvertently, and often, just comes off as really racist.
  J.D.: "He be trippin'."
• Inner Monologue: J.D.'s inner monologue pretty much narrates the entire series, save a few episodes.
• Inner Thoughts, Outsider Puzzlement: J.D.'s tendency to get lost in his thoughts has been noticed by everyone around him, and his tendency to sometimes finish his imagine spots by saying something he was thinking about that nobody else was privy to, or with some sort of reaction inappropriate for the situation, has left many others confused and/or exasperated. This trait was also deconstructed, since it was seen that J.D. becomes so lost in his imagine sports that he loses track of his surroundings, and is quite capable of getting himself into accidents or hurting himself if his friends don't look after him.
• The Intern: During the first season, J.D. was Dr. Cox's Intern and followed him around to learn and apply medical knowledge. At the end of the first season, he became a Resident. By the 8th season, he'd replaced Cox as the attending physician (and replaced Cox as the pain the ass to the Chief of Medicine... who at that point was Cox).
• In Touch with His Feminine Side: Has several effeminate mannerisms, such as keeping a "hug schedule." It's to the extent that Dr. Cox regularly calls him girl names.
• Inferiority Superiority Complex: One of his catch phrases is "I'm a doctor,", and yet half the series he doubts himself or Dr. Cox forces him to doubt himself.
• Irrational Hatred: He loathes his intern, Keith, even before he starts dating Elliot. Keith is an excellent Doctor and nothing but respectful to J.D.
• It Never Gets Any Easier: J.D. wants to care so much about his patients, so it is justified.
• It's All About Me: J.D. can be incredibly egotistical, and is quick to disregard the issues of his friends in favor of his own.
• Jerkass Ball: For a Nice Guy, J.D. can be incredibly petty and self-absorbed.
  • In My Ocardial Infarction, he gets angry at Elliot just because she's better at train-wreck codes than him and tried to teach him how to deal with them. When Elliot reminds him that, for the past three years, J.D. has always been the golden boy while Elliot was the screw-up and now she's finally doing something well, J.D. outright tells her that "You're the one that's supposed to struggle — not me."
  • Towards the end of season 3, he admits his feelings to Elliot, causing her to break up with her current boyfriend Sean in order to come back to J.D....who dumps her after just one episode, because he doesn't actually love her.
  • In My Inconvenient Truth, his brother Dan shows up, having turned his life around since the last time he appeared thanks to some harsh truths from J.D. As a gift to say thanks, he gives J.D. a car - J.D's reply is to smash the windshield in and tell Dan that he's supposed to be the loser in the family (though at least this time, when he gets called out for it, it sparks much needed Character Development).
  • In season 5 he's a jerk to Keith for no apparent reason. He was probably jealous of him for being a good-looking/competent doctor and because he was dating Elliot, even if J.D. had no apparent feelings for her at the moment.
• Jerkass to One: He's normally a kind and open teacher to his interns, but he's an absolute dick to Lonnie and hates Keith at first.
• Keet: As close as a non-anime character can get.
• Kick the Dog: In "My Cabbage" J.D. tries to make Keith work during his grandma's funeral but gives his favorite intern (the titular Cabbage) a day off to see the new King Kong movie. This favoritism does come back to bite him though.
• The Klutz: He gets hurt for physical comedy more than any other character, and sometimes his incidents border on Amusing Injuries. His girlfriend Julie was even more clumsy than he is.
• Laser-Guided Karma: In the first half of season 5, J.D. is incredibly horrible to his intern Keith for no explained reason (though it is noticeably worse after Keith started dating Elliot) while dotting on his favorite intern Cabbage. When J.D. tries a scheme to get Keith suspended that ends up getting Cabbage suspended instead. J.D. tries to wiggle out of it at first, but Cox gives him a wakeup call about how bad of a doctor Cabbage truly is, and J.D. is reluctantly forced to fire him out right.
• Loving a Shadow: In Season 3, he pines after Elliot when she gets a stable boyfriend, and does everything he can to break them up so she can be with him. Once he actually gets Elliot, he realizes he doesn't love her. Danni accurately points out that he has a tendency to idealize women who can't possibly meet his impossible standards.
• Magnetic Hero: Dr. Cox describes him as this because despite all of his flaws, J.D. cares deeply about his patients and his friends and it shows in his work and it draws people in, Dr. Cox included.
• Manchild: Definitely becomes this after his flanderization. He slowly grows out of it after his brother Dan calls him out and a talk with Turk after his son is born.
• Manly Tears: J.D. has cried on several occasions on screen, usually because a patient has died on him and it's hard for him to deal with, but he deals with it anyway.
• Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Feminine Boy to Elliot's Masculine Girl.
• The McCoy: A Lot of the time. He is extremely compassionate and genuinely cares about his patients.
• The Mentor: Becomes this for Denise in Season 8 and does a fairly good job of helping her become a better doctor for her patients.
• Morality Chain: Becomes this to Doctor Cox after he becomes Chief of Medicine after Dr. Kelso tells him that the Chief always needs someone to remind him that the patients come first.
• Mr. Imagination: He narrates to himself and has fantasies at the oddest moments, whether it's because of his narration or because someone's talking to him about something.
• My Sensors Indicate You Want to Tap That: Turk and J.D. can sense whenever the other has hooked up. In fact, they even have a Sex-Gong that they ring to let the other one know, even if they are several miles away.
• Naïve Newcomer: On first coming to Sacred Heart where we get to learn about the things he is learning at the hospital.
• The Nicknamer: He gives all of his interns nicknames. He also really loves receiving nicknames, even insulting ones.
• Not So Above It All: Because of his friendly, lovable personality, he comes off as the most innocent of the main characters, but he's actually quite self absorbed and prone to jerkish moments like everyone else.
• Only Known by Initials: "J.D". He accidentally introduces himself as "Johnny" to Molly once and then when it sticks he berates himself because he hates Johnny. Only his father and brother don't call him "J.D.", although they both call him Johnny.
• Perma-Stubble: During Season 8. He even lampshades it by noting to Elliot how he's grown more mature since they last dated by growing a beard. By the time Season 9 starts, he goes back to being clean-shaven.
• Photographic Memory: His gift to Dr Cox when he was leaving Sacred Heart was a giant book of Every. Single. Rant. that Cox had ever given him over the course of several years, almost all of them off the cuff as well of course.
• Pretty Fly for a White Guy: J.D.'s first onscreen discussion with Turk was about rap music and whether he can say the N word if he's singing along to a song and the word is in the song. He's not allowed to. On several occasions, he's tried to act Black and it doesn't work well.
• Pungeon Master: J.D. makes really awkward puns, mainly from Season 5 onwards.
• Sink or Swim Mentor: He eventually develops into this in Seasons 8 and 9 when he gets his own interns to take care of, something he learned from Cox and directly comments on.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech:
  • Delivers an epic one in Season 2, but is often on the receiving end of them, mostly from Dr. Cox or Carla.
  • Gives an understated but no less devastated one to Kim in "My Urologist", which actually causes her to rethink her stance on staying neutral on everything.
• Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: He's a foil to primarily two characters:
  • The sweet Sensitive Guy to Dr. Cox's tough guy Manly Man.
  • He's very nerdy and In Touch with His Feminine Side, while his best friend Turk comes across as the typical jock who likes basketball (Turk can be geeky and sensitive too, but not nearly as much as J.D.).
  • He's also the Sensitive Guy to Dan's Manly Man.
• Sex God: According to Jordan, Kim and Elliot, he's good at sex. Jordan taunts Perry about how good it was. Kim and Elliot are both in agreement that J.D. is better at sex than Sean, but that Sean is better at foreplay, with Elliot explaining that J.D. takes foreplay too literally. It should be noted that Elliot told Kim that Sean was "good at the sack" when she introduced him to her, which means that while Sean is good in the bed, J.D. is even better. Several of his other girlfriends are also horny to have spontaneous sex with him, such as Jamie Moyer, Neena Broderick and Danni Sullivan (although the latter has a high libido in general), while he never managed to get it far with some of his other girlfriends, e.g. Lisa, Molly or Kylie.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: The Janitor for the entire series (one-sided on the Janitor's part), and briefly Keith in season 5 (one-sided on J.D.'s part).
• Stalker without a Crush: He sometimes brushes up against this in his pursuit of Dr. Cox's attention, for instance he once admitted to infiltrating his Superbowl party by disguising himself as a pizza delivery guy.
• This Loser Is You: J.D. doesn't really suck at life, but he does symbolize problems and fears everyone of us has.
• Took a Level in Dumbass: Over time, he becomes more prone to Idiot Ball and silly antics, especially in season 6 and 7, to the point where he's reduced to being the Plucky Comic Relief even in the serious episode about Laverne's death. This is largely reversed in season 8.
• Tuckerization: Named after Bill Lawrence's college friend Dr. Jonathan Doris, whose experiences as a medical intern partly inspired the show.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: A consistent theme in his relationship with Dr. Cox is that J.D. craves his approval and respect, as J.D sees him as a father figure. Dr. Cox goes out of his way to dissaude this attitude once he realises J.D wants to be like him. Eventually at the end of the series they find a healthy compromise and J.D leaves Sacred Heart knowing he has Dr. Cox's respect as a a doctor and as a person.
• White Sheep: Both his dad Sam and brother Dan had extreme Manchild qualities, but while good people they simply did not aspire to anything and achieved nothing. Dan later confessed to Dr. Cox that everyone knew J.D. would be something great and urged him to take the role of Mentor seriously because J.D. had no one in his family to look up to.
• Wide-Eyed Idealist: Changes rather quickly when confronted with reality.
• Will They or Won't They?: With Elliot. After a while, they do.
• With Friends Like These...: No matter what he does, his friends almost always end up right so he can learn An Aesop. The worst example is "My Perspective" from Season 6. J.D. just found out that the previous episode that Kim miscarried their child and they broke up, he was homeless and he wanted his friends to help him through it like he'd helped them all, but they're all so self-absorbed and he had to "learn" the lesson of not asking for help with his problems.

Elliot Reid

Elliot Reid

Neurotic but sweet.

Played By: Sarah Chalke

Elliot: My therapist thinks my trouble in bed stems from a basic fear of intimacy. But I just think it's just because any type of repetitive motion makes me nauseous. Oh, and since I was a little kid, I've always had nightmares about being crushed.
Carla: That poor shrink.

Elliot is another promising young doctor, who initially showed signs of fear and low self-esteem as an intern, but has later grown to become a confident, yet extremely odd, doctor in the series. She has a tendency to ramble on about her issues as well as stories about her life, but she's extremely intelligent and takes her profession seriously when she must. Due to a fear of commitment, she has a constant on-again-off-again relationship with J.D.

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• Abusive Parents: Her parents were both emotionally and mentally abusive and the source of many of her neuroses. Her dad is dismissive and controlling and cuts ties with her in Season 2 for not following the career path he wanted, and over half of her mother's appearances are belittling Elliot's appearance and self esteem.
• Alcohol-Induced Bisexuality: She has an occasional habit of flirting with other women when drunk.
• All Girls Like Ponies: She's stated her love of ponies and even rode one into work once, though whether it was a flashback or a fantasy was unclear.
• Ambiguously Bi: She mentions being very close to her lesbian room-mate in college.
• Beware the Nice Ones: Never assume that a little girl from Connecticut would never fight dirty.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Elliot is this in most, if not all, of her relationships. While she does come off sweet and a bit dorky, she's a control freak and has a my-way-or-the-highway attitude.
• Baby Don't Got Back: Her "flat butt" is something of a running gag. Subverted, in that several characters (including J.D.) find it to be an attractive feature.
• Blonde Republican Sex Kitten: Elliot is a Republican and when she found out Keith was too, they made out and had sex in a closet.
• Boss's Unfavorite Employee: In the first two seasons she was this to Kelso, who liked to torment her and undermine her self-esteem, and it becomes a plot point in the season 2 finale that he thinks she's not good enough to keep being a doctor. This is averted in later seasons, after she gains more confidence.
• Break the Cutie: Mid season two her dad cut her off financially and she had to fend for herself for the first time in her life. This took a toll on her and life didn't start looking up until about season five when she became an attending.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Despite her various flaws and neuroses, Elliot is a competent doctor who impressed a private practice doctor so much that he gave her a job.
• Butt-Monkey: Even more than J.D. in the early seasons. She was very awkward, always screwing up and Dr. Kelso treated her worse then everyone else except Doug and he made it his mission to try and break her.
• Character Development: In the first two seasons, she was a shy and vulnerable Nervous Wreck who was often Prone to Tears. Starting in season 3, she suddenly becomes a complete foil of what she used to be. Her appearance changes to reflect this from Season 3 onwards.
• The Chew Toy: Elliot trips over and hurts herself a lot, especially from Season 2 onwards. She's the main one besides J.D. that is involved in the physical comedy.
• Control Freak: Not as much as Carla but she has her moments, especially when it comes to her relationships. It's most prominent when it comes to her engagement and wedding in season 6. It becomes a plot point in the episode "My Rabbit".
• Crazy in the Head, Crazy in the Bed: In "My Karma", she worries that her "crazy" will scare off her boyfriend Paul. She spends the episode trying to repress this, but eventually unloads on Paul about all her insecurities and neuroses. Instead of scaring Paul off, he gets turned on and the two begin making out.
• Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: While she's a neurotic mess, Elliot's a skilled doctor and a competent fighter. Apple thieves, after all.
• Cute, but Cacophonic: "STOP FINISHING MY AWESOME JOKES!" (J.D.'s "Oh my god" was a genuine reaction by Zach Braff, who did not expect Sarah to get so shrill).
• Cute Clumsy Girl: She has slipped and fell on several occasions, she gets hurt almost as often as J.D. does.
• Demoted to Extra: In season 9, along with everyone who isn't Turk or Dr. Cox due to the focus shifting to Med Students.
• Ditzy Genius: While she's a smart, well-educated doctor, Dr. Cox calls her "Barbie" because of her "ditzy blonde" tendencies.
• Drama Queen: Self confessed.
• Extreme Doormat: Initially. While she grows out of it after Character Development, she was accused of being a "doormat" by Jordan in the first season episode "My Last Day":
  Elliot: So, I let myself get taken advantage of, sometimes; you know. I mean, big deal - how do you make friends?
  Jordan: Look, I've seen your type before. You're that girl that convinced herself she wanted to lose her virginity at a frat party while another guy was asleep in the room.
  Elliot: Chas really cared for me.
  Jordan: Ah, I know; and I'm sure you have a cool "Jungle Party" t-shirt to prove it. Now, can we please finish this physical? And, I can't pee right now, so you'll have to go for me.
• Finger Poke of Doom: A childhood of harvesting apples gave her enormous finger strength, enough to lay out J.D. with a single poke to the chest.
• Fire-Forged Friends: With Carla. When the series started, they started out on the wrong foot and insult one another a great deal. After the first few episodes, they had a casual friendship and in Season 2, they became much closer friends after bonding over insecurities and they were best friends for the rest of the show.
• Freudian Excuse: It's implied part of her neuroses were due to a swimming coach either raping or molesting her. While explaining she once tried to kill herself, Elliott said it was because her one-piece swimsuit was in the backseat of his car. Feeling she couldn't tell anyone with her mother not even teaching her proper sexual terminology and her father being an overbearing jerk, Elliott became obsessed with Sylvia Plath and Virginia Woolf, deciding to emulate the latter by drowning herself. Fortunately, she realized she couldn't do it and tread water until the local rowing team rescued her.
• Gender-Blender Name:
  • Her father named her "Elliot" because he wanted to have a son, which is odd because she has four brothers. Her desire to please him is part of what leads her to become a doctor (widely seen as a man's profession).
  • In "My Female Trouble", Elliot pretends that Elliot Reid is a man because a patient of hers is prejudiced towards female doctors. At the end, she admits to being Dr. Reid.
• Genki Girl: She was for the most part of the first few seasons highly enthusiastic and quick-talking, tempered with bouts of self doubt. Her enthusiasm was more of a mask. She was very neurotic on the inside, due to bad childhood experience, overbearing parents, etc. She could be considered a Genki Girl later on, the way she pushes her boyfriends about (sometimes literally).
• Girliness Upgrade: Beginning in the third season. This was due in part to Executive Meddling (as NBC wanted a Hotter and Sexier female lead to better attract the coveted young male viewer demographic), although in-universe it's justified as her getting a makeover to gain needed self-confidence.
• Girly Girl with a Tomboy Streak: Because of her privileged upbringing, she's more on the girly side (just look at her room), is occasionally spoiled, obsessed with her wedding since when she was a child, she likes ponies, and in early seasons she was also shy and sensitive. It helps that in season 3 she starts wearing Hotter and Sexier clothes. She is also a surprisingly strong fighter, is proud of her Tomboyish Name, and has no problem being One of the Boys with J.D. and Turk.
• Happily Married: To J.D. by the time of Season 9, with the two of them expecting their first child.
• Hospital Hottie: She's number 12 on the 20 hottest female staff members at Sacred Heart and has the most bra scenes.
• Hypocrite: Elliot is also very intolerant of the personal flaws of other people, yet she constantly brings her personal problems to work. For example, Dr. Kelso lampshades in Season Two that she's barely keeping up with the middle of the pack despite studying just as hard as everyone else, yet she bitches about Dr. Cox not mentoring her while Dr. Cox is still struggling to deal with his own, rather more significant issues of Jordan lying to him about him not being Jack's father. She's also completely willing to dump Molly as her new mentor figure when she realises Molly has awful taste in men, yet Elliot spent the previous season constantly trying to ditch her responsibilities at the hospital to see Sean, or couldn't bring herself to date Paul because she was embarrassed about his job.
• I Knew It!: In universe. She even has a dance for it.
• Important Haircut: Elliot's "new me" has different hair!
• In-Universe Nickname: "Barbie" (to Dr. Cox), and "Blonde Doctor" (to the Janitor).
• Informed Attribute: It's established in a few episodes that she's a Republican (and apparently very proud of it), but her political opinions rarely come up, and she seldom expresses any conservative viewpoints.
• Insistent Terminology: Due to being very uncomfortable with various sexual terms. For starters, she uses "bajingo" instead of "vagina".
• It's All About Me: Elliot is incredibly self absorbed, often making every situation about her or tries to. She's very quick to get pissy when things don't go her way and tries to drag everyone else down with her.
• Jerkass Has a Point: She handles things quite badly with Carla when she chastises her for an error she made and breaks the cardinal hospital rule—Do not piss off the nurses—but she's still right—Carla screwed up and that could have had serious ramifications for the patient.
• Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: Masculine Girl to J.D.'s Feminine Boy. Also to her Extreme Doormat boyfriend Keith in season 5 and 6, which is lampshaded by Kelso.
• Moment Killer: She's this to J.D. at least three times throughout the series. First when J.D and Alex are about to hook up in the on-call room, second and third when J.D. and Kim were home from a concert and about to get intimate, she burst into the apartment and ruined the mood. She's referred to this by name in J.D's fantasy.
• Morality Pet: She's this to the Janitor and the only one that he likes and will move heaven and earth for.
• Motor Mouth: Talks at the speed of light whenever she gets upset/excited. Carla's the only one able to understand what she's saying when she gets like this.
• Ms. Fanservice: Very much so. The writers even claimed they tried to think up ways for Elliot to be in just her bra at least once a season.
• Nervous Wreck: Anxious, fast-talking, low self-esteem (in early seasons), and often a Mood-Swinger.
• Progressively Prettier: She started out as a cute nerdy girl in the first two seasons, but she got a huge makeover at the start of Season 3 that makes her look conventionally more attractive to signify her new boost in confidence. There's even a gag where they show how much she needs to spend to keep her look. After she becomes a private practice doctor, she wears dresses or casual clothes instead of scrubs (with the doctor's gown over her clothes), and her hair becomes notably more styled in the final seasons.
• Prone to Tears: In the early seasons she was very sensitive, emotional, and was often hiding in a closet to cry.
• Stating the Simple Solution: She points out to Turk that if he wants an annoying hypochondriac patient to stop calling him after he gets Turk's number thanks to the Janitor. She points out that Turk can either file a restraining order against him or just simply change his phone number. Turk due to wanting to retain the CALL-TUR(K) number decides the former option
• Tomboyish Name: Elliot's proud of having a mostly 'male' name, to the point that she's annoyed when another member of staff, Veronica, changes her name to 'Ronni' not long after Elliot arrives.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Her behavior in Season 3 where she's dating Sean, then hops into bed with J.D, who is still in love with her, only to go running straight back to Sean when he unexpectedly turns up. The fact she accuses him of not being a good friend to her when he is angry about the way she treated him is the lowest point. It didn't stop there either in the later seasons with how she treated Keith during the short time they were engaged and how she happily abused her power over the interns and got away with it.
• Ungrateful Bitch: Complains in Season 5 that Dr. Cox "has always been a total bastard" to her, ignoring the fact he punches Kelso out for mistreating her, made her and J.D co-chief residents so they would learn to get on and various other Pet the Dog moments. Not to mention, he arguably has been even worse to J.D than Elliot. Cox points out that she's also this to Carla, who endured her prejudiced comments and helped her become the Doctor she is. Also does it in the later seasons too. It reaches the point where she starts saying she got where she is all on her own with no help from anyone.
• Unusual Euphemism: "Frick!" "Bajingo" (meaning "vagina") and "Kaboodle" in one episode for ass. Strangely, an early episode has her say "vagina" with no problem.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: Her dad, though she eventually learns to rely on her own self-respect.
• Will They or Won't They?: With J.D. After a while, they do.

Christopher Turk

Christopher Duncan Turk

Like A Surgeon.

Played By: Donald Faison

"You know, I love how kids of divorce really have the market cornered on family dysfunction. But let me share with you a typical Thanksgiving at the Turk household: It starts with my mother yelling at my sister for yelling at my grandmother who's yelling at the television screen, which happens to be the microwave. And then my militant brother Jabari - formerly Bob - gives my father attitude for using the word black, even though he's referring to the turkey. Which, by the way, only got burnt because instead of turning the oven off, my bi-polar aunt Leslie tried to shove her head in it. But you know what we do? We kiss... and we hug... and we apologize for all the things we said... 'Cause a month later, we gonna get together and do it again at Christmas!"

J.D.'s best friend, whom J.D. has known since they were roommates in college, and Carla's husband. He's a very skilled surgeon but his arrogance sometimes exceeds his talent. His attitude does come across as a typical jock, but he takes his work seriously and is atypical as a surgeon in that he strives to get to know his patients. He loves basketball, video games, using slang, and making sweet love with his wife.

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• Accidental Misnaming: Kelso thinks his name is Turk Turkleton, which is why he calls him Dr. Turkleton all the time. This was revealed after Kelso got really drunk at Turk's wedding.
• Black and Nerdy: He is both a Black nerd (Or "blerd", as he calls it) and one of the show's cooler characters. He actually referred to his cousin as one. One episode had him as a temporary medical resident after breaking his arm and he wore Nerd Glasses to appear nerdier.
• Black Is Bigger in Bed: According to J.D.'s version of the story that's what he heard when he caught his girlfriend Stacy Blue naked with Turk in bed, although Turk insisted that she was referring to his basketball skills instead. Considering that Turk eventually admitted that he has slept with his best friend's girlfriend, he was probably lying about the basketball thing as well, especially since J.D. said that they had no basketball.
• Book Dumb: He was a C student in high school, but managed to get into medical school and eventually makes head surgeon. He explains that by saying that when he realized he wanted to be a surgeon, he got his head in the game.
• But Not Too Foreign: He's 1/8 Japanese.
• Catchphrase: "That's what I'm talkin' about!"
• Character Development:
  • Turk is probably the only character to remain consistent throughout the entire series. His main development was in becoming noticeably more responsible thanks to having to cope with his diabetes, being married to Carla, and becoming a father. He doesn't have nearly the same level of character arc that J.D., Elliot or even Dr. Cox have.
  • He's initially uncomfortable bonding with patients and expressing emotion, preferring a distant and cocky machismo; but over time (thanks in large part to J.D.'s influence) he becomes the surgeon with the best bedside manner in the hospital, and fully comfortable expressing how much he loves his friends.
• Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: Occasionally he's this to J.D. Mostly he just joins in.
• Competition Freak: One of his defining traits, not only when it comes to his career but also other not-so-important activities such as basketball. It's one of the reasons he and Dr. Cox sometimes get along.
• Dented Iron: He gets diagnosed with Type II Diabetes in the fourth season, which shook him up because he has always been very physical and athletic and now has to worry more about his health and diet. He also loses one testicle after his daughter Izzy Groin Attacked him.
• Determinator: One of his defining traits is that when he really wants something (becoming a doctor, marrying Carla, the Chief of Surgery position, etc.) he goes after it with all he's got.
• Embarrassing Middle Name: When the Todd finds out that Turk's middle name is Duncan, J.D. claims it's because Turk's dad loved donuts and he tells J.D. to stop saying that.
• Groin Attack: His baby daughter Izzy accidentally kicks Turk in the balls off-screen, but with the serious consequence of her father losing one testicle because of it. Turk becomes so insecure about his masculinity that he overcompensates for it by acting even more macho than usual during "My Manhood".
• Happy Dance: Comes in several named subcategories as well, to the point that even J.D. can't keep track of them all.
• Henpecked Husband: Carla was always bossing him around even before they get married and it's lampshaded constantly.
• Heterosexual Life-Partners: With J.D., they've been friends since college and their friendship is so strong that Carla has said sometimes she's afraid that Turk will leave her for J.D. They're so close that most of the recurring or one shot characters have thought they were a gay couple at least once. Their bond gets tested a few times, but they always patch things up by the end of the episode. Turk outright says that he cares about J.D's approval and confidence in his abilities and gently lectures him that he needs to grow up.
• Hot-Blooded: He's passionate, determined and one of the hammiest characters.
• Hypocrite: Turk gets very angry after Carla and J.D. confessed to him that they accidentally kissed while drunk the day prior. He wouldn't let go of the issue until J.D. forcibly kisses him to show how it was. By contrast, Turk has lied for years about his one-night stand with J.D.'s college girlfriend Stacy Blue, and he never admitted to it when confronted by J.D. until Private Dancer makes everyone in the room confess.
• I Know Mortal Kombat: Actually Truth in Television. Studies have shown that surgeons who play video games improve their reaction times and dexterity.
• I Shall Taunt You: If Turk wins a bet or an argument, he will dance in your face.
• Large Ham: He has his moments. After beating Carla in an arm wrestling match: "DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET, CARLA, DO YOU SEE WHAT YOU GET WHEN YOU MESS WITH THE WARRIOR!!"
• Last-Name Basis: Everyone except his mother and brother and J.D.'s father call him Turk. Even his best friend and his wife do. But then, that's nobody's business but the Turks'.
• Lovable Jock: The first impression of him from co-workers is that he is a Jerk Jock, which is, of course, wrong.
• A Man Is Always Eager: A plot point in "My Dirty Secret". He's used to having frequent sex, and when Carla decides to wait until their wedding night to have any more, he's not happy.
• Manchild: Has his moments, especially when he's goofing around with J.D. In later seasons Turk mentions to J.D. that he's only this when he's goofing off with J.D, when they're not together he goes back to being a responsible adult, husband and parent.
• Mr. Fanservice: Turk is really fit and is shirtless the most out of the guys outside of Todd.
• My Sensors Indicate You Want to Tap That: Turk and J.D. can sense whenever the other has hooked up. In fact, they even have a Sex-Gong that they ring to let the other one know, even if they are several miles away. He can also tell when J.D. and Elliot have been hooking up by the way they nod at each other and when two male orderlies are getting together just from a look.
• Only Sane Man: When he and J.D. are not being Heterosexual Life-Partners.
• Perma-Stubble: His shaved head has this.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Turk used to take ballet; the other surgeons were a bit surprised at first then give him a pass when he waves this off as agility training for sports but give him crap about it when J.D. says that he not only enjoyed it but also loved wearing the tights.
• Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Manly Man to J.D.'s Sensitive Guy. J.D.is very nerdy and In Touch with His Feminine Side, while Turk comes across as the typical jock who likes basketball (Turk can be geeky and sensitive too, but not nearly as much as J.D.).
• Small Name, Big Ego: At the beginning of the series his confidence outweighed his actual skill, it was humbling to learn that several other surgical interns were actually better than him (such as The Todd). In fact, it was only J.D.'s encouragement to spend more time with his patients that put him good enough to get a Surgical Attending position. But by the end his leadership ability became his greatest asset, nearly everyone in the hospital nominates him to become the new Chief of Surgery.
• The Spock: No matter how often he appears to care about his patients, he'll still say he works better without emotion or attachment.
• Surfer Dude: Probably the first impression one gets from him.
• Testosterone Poisoning: He often acts overly masculine, especially whenever he feels insecure about his masculinity.
• Two-Timing with the Bestie: Turk slept with J.D.'s girlfriend Stacy Blue in college. J.D. caught them red-handed, but Turk insisted that it's not what it looked like and he kept lying about it for years until finally confessing to him...after Stacy's death.

Perry Cox

Percival "Perry" Ulysses Cox

Not your average Mentor Archetype

Played By: John C. McGinley

"Newbie, the only way you could be less productive right now is if you were, in fact, the wall you're leaning against. Of course, THEN you'd be providing some jackass with a wall in which to lean against to reflect on what a jackass he truly is. I know, hear it's a conundrum, but don't you worry about it. I'll work on that upstairs. In the meantime, you could at least pretend to be doing some work, and right about now, even though you don't have your basket, oh, it's just a terrific time for you to skip away, Shirley."

J.D.'s mentor (much to his chagrin) and resident doctor of Sacred Heart. He comes across as a typical Dr. Jerk with a huge ego to match. However, he believes his hard teachings mold interns to competent doctors and he cares more about treating patients that deserve help rather than the budget of the hospital. He has a tendency to rant on about anything that ticks him off even slightly.

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• Abusive Parents: He once states that his father's primary way of showing him affection was intentionally missing when he threw bottles at his head.
• Achilles' Heel: As brilliant as a doctor as he his, he struggles with diagnosing and treating metabolic diseases. The first time he admits this to J.D., he tries to play it off as sarcasm—but when challenging Kevin Casey to answer a rapid-fire series of medical questions, J.D. realizes that it's true after asking him a metabolism-related question.
• Aesop Amnesia: You'd think he'd learn to respect Turk's skills after he performed pre-natal surgery on Cox's daughter, but Turk still has to earn his respect multiple times. Same with J.D. who Cox has had to be reminded numerous times is a genuinely skilled doctor who can work without Cox breathing down his neck.
• Alcoholic Parent: His father was an alcoholic and often took it out on him and his sister. It was so bad that it's difficult for Cox to be around his sister because it reminds him of those experiences.
• The Alcoholic: It's a major part of his character that he does drink a lot. It really comes to the forefront in "My Fallen Idol." Jordan claims that Jack's first full sentence was "Daddy drinks a lot".
• Almighty Janitor: Of doctors. It's noted that he's an absolutely brilliant phsyician who should be in a much better position than he is given his age and brilliance, but he always gets in his own way because he's an absolute cynical jerkass who refuses to play the game. As such, he's "merely" an attending physician at a teaching hospital.
• Armor-Piercing Question:
  • Delivered by J.D. when Cox is talking to Ben at the event.
    "Where do you think we are?"
  • He also managed to deliver one to Jordan in an argument, which rendered her speechless and unable to come up with a proper retaliation. Needless to say, he was overjoyed.
• Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other:
  • With Jordan. Zigzagged as it is stated early on that they both like being mean (to both each other and others). They really care for each other but still hate to admit it and given the personality of both of them, it's not that surprising.
  • He sometimes shows this towards J.D., kinda. Especially the final episode, in which Cox defends J.D. from (set-up) false bad claims shows this.
  • With his sister, too. They spend the entirety of her episode arguing with each other, before he admits the reason for this isn't because of her newfound religion, it's because being around her reminds her of their lousy childhood, but he still loves her and wants her to be part of Jack's life.
• Berserk Button: While most of his anger is just bluster, doctors who don't even try to improve at their weak spots or don't take the work seriously are one of the few things to make him genuinely furious.
• Break the Haughty: Big time, in the episode "My Lunch".
• Broken Ace: When Cox says he's the best, nobody disagrees with him, but he has some huge issues. His abusive childhood drove him to be the best, but left him with a dim view of humanity that only soured further after years of struggling to help his patients in the face of a profit-driven healthcare system. He can also get worse when someone close to him dies.
• Brutal Honesty: The basis of much of his snark.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: This is actually a plot point in that he is too good of a doctor to get fired but he absolutely hates the bureaucracy of the hospital and jumping through hoops to get promotions that would get him anywhere besides a basic staff attending doctor. J.D. is the only person to make him understand that his attitude was getting in his own way and he slowly starts taking on leadership positions that let him make a difference rather than just complain about it.
• Byronic Hero: He's a brilliant doctor and an excellent mentor to J.D., but he's very anti-social, prefers to be miserable, and grew up with an abusive father with a drinking problem he inherited.
• Character Development: He becomes more willing to play by the rules as time goes on, he also stops self-sabotaging himself both personally & professionally for the sake of being seen as a rebel, and he becomes far more patient and less acerbic to those around him, eventually taking his role as a teacher to younger doctors seriously after seeing how it helped J.D. improve. He actually suffers the least amount of Flanderization in the series and manages to grow as a character while keeping his original nature. Reconciling with Jordan and raising Jack mellows him as a parent.
• Character Tics: His habit of touching his nose. John C. McGinley stated that this is an homage to Paul Newman's character in The Sting (which is also a guesture to his castmates to reassure them that while Cox is an asshole, McGinley isn't). He also holds his hands together behind his head whenever he's worried or stressed. This is lampshaded by Carla at one point where - after showing him that he's not reaching his patient - she asks if he wants to put his hands behind his head. He does. He also bumps his shoulder into people (usually J.D) after giving them a dressing-down. J.D once tried to do the same back to him and ended up getting knocked to the floor when Dr. Cox didn't budge.
• Cynical Mentor: He shares this role with Kelso. He's a jaded alcoholic who hates how hard he has to struggle with the system in order to help people, but who still manages to coach young doctors.
• Deadpan Snarker: He gives snarky one-liners when he isn't ranting. It's actually deconstructed as time goes on as his being snarky and belligerent to everyone means that next to no one actually likes him.
• Depending on the Writer: Whether his Dr. Jerk personality extends to patients or they're his Morality Pets.
• Deuteragonist: In the earlier seasons, the show focused on his personal life and explored his issues a great deal as a contrast to J.D's.
• Did Not Get the Girl: Spends the first season pining away for Carla, but respecting her relationship with Turk enough to never make an advance to her. While she herself helps him get over it by the next season, for the rest of the series, a handful of occasional lines and scenes indicate that there are still some lingering feelings on his part.
• Disappointed in You:
  • In "My Dream Job" he is absolutely livid when J.D. and Turk show up to work drunk and tears them a new one.
  • In "My Big Bird" he shows up when J.D., Elliot, Turk, and Carla are celebrating getting off the hook for Mr. Foster's death. Cox reminds them that Mr. Foster had a wife and child he left behind and that even if it was the radiologist's fault, their conduct was still unacceptable as they didn't do anything to help Mr. Foster because they were caught up in their own dumb stuff.
• Distracted by My Own Sexy: He really likes his appearance and one episode explores this, it never becomes a problem though because the right level of ego is important to his success and he knows it.
• Dr. Jerk: He's a fantastic doctor, but he has a short fuse and gives insulting speeches to a lot of his patients and to his fellow staff members.
• Dramatic Irony:
  • It's been established in Season 1 that Dr. Cox is using fraud to cheat the system in order to treat patients who don't have the luxury of the right health insurance and because of that he's at odds with Dr. Kelso who is strictly about abiding the rules and choosing the hospital's finances over individuals. After getting promoted into the position as the Chief of Medicine, Dr. Cox can't trick the system anymore because the board are aware of his frauds, and Cox has to make similar decisions that Dr. Kelso, resulting in J.D. stepping up and playing Dr. Cox's previous role to make the right decisions for the patients.
  • In Season 4's "My First Kill", Dr. Cox tells to the new interns as well as J.D. that every doctor will eventually kill a patient someday, with Cox being the exception that proves the rule because he's that good of a doctor. Throughout the episode, J.D. eventually accepts the idea that he will kill someone, but he just doesn't know when it would happen. During the rest of the series, J.D. has not killed any patient during his career at the Sacred Heart, while Dr. Cox has killed three patients at once because of rabies-infected organ transplants.
• Embarrassing First Name: Percival, which is usually shortened as Perry.
• Embarrassing Last Name: Lampshaded in one episode.
  Carla: You don't like Cox?
  Jordan: Actually, I love Cox.
  The Todd: [appearing from nowhere] Greatest conversation ever.
  Jordan: See, that's the problem.
• Embarrassing Middle Name: His first, middle and last name are all odd in their own way. Percival "Perry" Ulysses Cox.
• Embarrassing Nickname: Sometimes gets "Per-Per" thrown at him, usually from J.D. or Jordan.
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • He may insult you for every little mistake and belittle every conceivable personal flaw you think you've managed to hide to make you feel bad and make him feel better, but if you don't take being a doctor and treating patients seriously he will get mad for real.
    • Conversely, he riles people up with the intention of getting them angry enough to do their job properly and avoid dependence on him. If they genuinely need emotional support he will drop the act long enough so they don't quit altogether.
  • In "My Drama Queen," he reprimands J.D. for thinking that one of his quips had homophobic undertones.
  Cox: I would never compare you to the gays. I like the gays; I like their music, I like their sense of style, I especially like what they've done with Halloween.
  • He calls Dan out on sleeping with J.D's ex when their father died and tells him he's the worst brother ever.
  • He's not above bullying his interns, but unlike Kelso he won't give them a hard time just for getting a question wrong during rounds. It's a teaching hospital, afterall, and better to get a question wrong there and corrected than during actual treatment.
• Fatal Flaw: His abrasive personality. It's been established numerous times that it's stopped him from ascending to a role that would allow him to help make the changes he believes are so desperately needed and it also means that while many respect his skills as a physician, they have very little patience for him on a personal level with even J.D. and Carla losing patience with him on occasion.
• Fitness Nut: He keeps himself in pretty good shape through regular exercise. In one episode Turk, who was naturally athletic through high school and college, found himself gaining weight due to his work schedule. In an effort to slim down for his girlfriend he started exercising with Cox, but found himself unable to work, exercise and have quality time with her, a reality that Cox is forced to admit is a real issue.
• Flanderization: His treatment of J.D. In early seasons he made a few token gestures of appreciation to J.D. for his work, making it clear the Jerkass behavior was to push him to do his best and that he did care underneath and did have some respect for him. From season 6 onwards it becomes very hard to see if he even likes or respects J.D. at all (he gets better in the last two episodes of season 8, "My Chief Concern" and "My Finale").
• Freudian Excuse: For having Abusive Parents, he developed incredibly well, and one may forgive him any Kick the Dog scenes.
• Friendly Enemy:
  • With the Janitor thanks to their mutual dislike of J.D. and Kelso as well as their snarky personalities. However, the Janitor still has a vendetta against doctors and Cox is included.
  • With Dr. Kelso. For two people that can't stand each other, they sure have lunch together or hang out in the break room together a lot. After Kelso retires, he and Cox go from this to just secret friends. Eventually everyone finds out, so now they're just good friends.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: J.D., Jordan and Carla like him (especially J.D.), but Elliot and Turk are not too fond of him most of the time due to his tendency for snarking and insulting his patients and everyone around him, although they respect him as a doctor (and vice versa Dr. Cox can't stand them but reluctantly admits they are good at their jobs) outside of J.D. and Carla (And even they get sick of him) and Jordan (Who got back with him because she was pregnant with Jack). The rest of the staff aren't fond of him and his Day in the Limelight shows that his abrasive snarky attitude pushes everyone away and even the people who do like him can't stand him sometimes. They sure respect him a great deal as a doctor, but they don't like him.
• Friend to All Children: For all his worrying about whether he'll be a good father, he's actually excellent with kids. In the Pilot episode, he acts akin to a Cool Uncle to a young patient and he's a natural at encouraging and showing affection to Jack. This is actually a plot point in one episode, where he'd had great rapport with a little girl with a chronic illness, but now that she was a Sarcastic Teen his old tactics for getting along with her didn't work anymore.
• Gilligan Cut: In "My Life in Four Cameras", when Dr. Cox takes over Dr. Kelso's task of trying to make budget cuts without firing someone, the next cut has a distressed Dr. Cox say that he has to fire someone.
• A God Am I: Look at his character quote. He even admits it.
• Good is Not Nice: He'll save your life if you're a patient and help teach you if you're an intern, but he is very abrasive and has little patience for most people.
• Good Parents: Despite his many flaws, most of the time he's a fantastic father for Jack and if he's not, he works on being a better father.
• Groin Attack: After Turks blurts out that Dr. Cox and Jordan cuddle in bed, Jordan punishes Dr. Cox by having Jack do a "man check"^note hitting him in the nutsack on him. This leaves Dr. Cox laying on the ground in a fetal position.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: He gets the Hair-Trigger Temper when the plot demands it, or otherwise he's just a grump. His temper is a plot point in the episode "My Mirror Image".
• Has a Type: Has a thing for strong women who don't take any of his crap. He prefers them brunette, but is happy to settle for a blonde ball buster.
  Jordan: Let me guess, let me guess - dark haired, domineering, doesn't take any of your crap?
• Hates Everyone Equally: Men, women, children, doctors, nurses, patients, relatives, Cox despises them all, and if his job was not trying to heal people, he'd rather not share oxygen with any of them. Even his relationship with his (kinda) ex-wife is marinated in dysfunction and vitriol, and he had to warm up to genuinely love his son (granted, he thought Jack wasn't his son at first).
• Heroic BSoD: He has a heavy breakdown at the end of "My Lunch" due to three patients dying due to organ transplants from a woman infected with rabies. The third patient hit him the hardest since he wasn't in a desperate state and could have waited a little longer, but all three got their transplants under his direct supervision. The next episode he was mostly just drinking on the couch and only says 20 words total (most of them are in flashbacks) while everyone else tries talking to him. He gets another when his best friend dies and spends the day confusing the hell out of everyone around him as he imagines the shenanigans the man would have gotten up to.
• Hey, You!:
  • Kelso = Bobbo or Bobcat
  • Elliot = Barbie
  • Turk = Gandhi
  • J.D. = Newbie, every girl name in existence (Except for the names of female characters in the show.) He makes an effort to never use a name twice, leading him to be stumped a few times while trying to think up a new one. On at least one occasion he literally called J.D. "Girl's Name". And on one occasion he calls J.D. by the names of famous dogs after some rumors of bestiality.
• Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Outside of "My New God"^note And even then it only applies to his final talk with his sister in the episode's climax, Cox's abusive childhood is Played for Laughs whenever it is mentioned. In "My Lunch", he is shown to compete with a patient for whose father was worse. The patient always wins on account of his father still being alive while Cox's father is dead.
• Hollywood Atheist: He constantly mocks religion and acts like he's superior because he doesn't believe in God. He himself lampshades this on several occasions. Despite this, he often talks directly to God in his rants, including thanking God for having his back even though he technically didn't believe he exists. At one point, he becomes determined to convince Laverne that everything is a coincidence and, typical to Cox, pushes it way too far. Laverne gives an epic Shut Up, Hannibal! speech telling him why she needs there to be a God and a bigger reason behind the things that happen to patients. He softly offers an apology and stops pushing the issue.
• Inferiority Superiority Complex: He has an absolutely massive ego but he's a very emotionally damaged person and believes that if he isn't the best doctor around, he's nothing.
• Insufferable Genius: Is there a moment when he doesn't brag about his skills as a doctor? Let it be granted, because he really is that good.
• Irrational Hatred: He really dislikes Hugh Jackman for some reason.
• Jerkass Has a Point:
  • He frequently lambasts people with harsh but true facts, for instance he lays into Elliot when she wants to ditch a severely ill patient to go on a date by pointing out he's rarely at home, himself, despite having a newborn son and keeps missing out on Jack's first moments, but that doesn't matter - the hospital comes first.
  • He rips into J.D and Turk for showing at the hospital drunk when they were on-call and sends them home in disgust.
  • He's also quite right to call out the gang for how their mistakes could have contributed to the death of a patient and they only escaped being held accountable for it because of pure luck.
  • Cox refusing help take care of J.D. while he is homeless, believes his ex-girlfriend miscarried, and got a DUI after he helped Cox through the worst time of his life is the most heartless moment of Cox's run on the show. That being said, Cox is right to point out that they have spent the last six years dealing with all of J.D. issues because J.D. is a manchild who complains all the time instead of learning how to deal with his own problems.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Despite his attitude and speaking to everyone—coworker and patient alike—with disrespect, Dr. Cox genuinely wants to help people and when he's incapable of doing so it affects him strongly. Also, the finale of season 8 revealed he truly did like J.D. after all, though he admits it when he thinks J.D. isn't around.
• Kindness Button: Despite being an abrasive individual, Dr. Cox does have standards and when he sees someone around him cry (especially if it's because of him), he usually goes out of his way to make them feel better. When he meets Denise, an annoying paramedic who never stops talking, he gives her a "The Reason You Suck" Speech before realising that the son she kepts talking about is Dead All Along, so he softly apologises and brings around his son Jack for her to spend some time with. When he and Dr. Kelso decide to break Molly's indominable cheerfulness, they take pleasure in it until she starts to cry, and Dr. Cox immediately owns up to messing with her on purpose, and when Dr. Kelso publically nearly drives Elliot to tears, Dr. Cox responds by punching him in the face and offering Elliot some encouragement before going home to spend time with his son.
• Knight in Sour Armor: He's a very bitter and miserable guy, but if he's your doctor, he will do everything in his power to save your life.
• Large Ham: He gives very enthusiastic speeches about how amazing he is and makes sure everyone hears them.
• The Last DJ: In some ways he's a deconstruction of this trope: he lives for his job and has far too much integrity to kiss ass and play the games needed to climb ranks in the hospital. That in turn leaves him locked out of any chance to change things, and the more he complains about how the hospital is run or goes outside the rules to help patients, the closer he comes to actually getting fired for good and being unable to help patients at all. It takes a whole range of people trying to give him wake up calls and several opportunities falling into his lap before he realizes that he can get himself into a position of authority and improve certain things without compromising his integrity.
• Last-Name Basis: Usually referred to by his last name. Jordan and Dr Kelso are one of the few to call him "Perry".
• Meaningful Name: He's named after a knight of the Round Table and a famous Greek hero, which is fitting, given J.D.'s idolization of him. "Percival" is particularly meaningful, given his Knight in Sour Armor tendencies, and his commitment to helping patients at any cost.
• Morality Pet: His son Jack, and children in general.
• Mr. Fanservice: And he's very much aware of it. Off camera, McGinley worked quite hard on it and even gave advice to other actors.
• My God, What Have I Done?:
  • He's hit with this hard in "My Lunch", when he accidentally kills three of his patients when they receive organ donations from Jill Tracy, who had rabies.
  • When he repeatedly challenges Laverne's religion, only for her to hit him back with a particularly poignant Shut Up, Hannibal!. He gently apologises and drops the issue.
• Narcissist: Dr. Cox admires himself in every reflecting surfaces.
• Nepotism: Played With. He does ask Jordan for help to get his promotion, but it's generally agreed that he does have the competence for the higher jobs, and the higher-ups believe that he's capable for the job, including Kelso himself.
• The Nicknamer: He gives all of the main cast except for Carla a nickname that he prefers to call them by and rarely ever calls them by their real name, you can actually count on one hand how often Dr.Cox calls them by their real name outside of fantasies.
• No-Respect Guy: His perception. The reality is that almost everyone does respect him as a doctor. They just don't like him on a personal level.
• Not So Above It All: There are a couple of times he indulges in J.D.'s goody antics; he wears the "Welcome Back Cox-er" shirt and begrudgingly admits he read and likes his Dr. Acula screenplay.
• Odd Friendship: After Kelso retires, he and Cox eventually become friends. They bond over the emotional difficulty that accompanies being Chief of Medicine.
• Odd Name Out: Perry is the only one in the Cox-Sullivan family whose name does not start with J, countering his ex-wife Jordan, and their kids Jack and Jennifer.
• Only Sane Man: At times:
  • In "My Big Bird", unlike Kelso, he refuses to let J.D., Elliot, Turk, and Carla for Mr. Foster's death, as their behaver that day would have likely still gotten him killed even if the radiologist hadn't screwed up.
  • In "My Conventional Wisdom", when pressed about why he refuses to accept an invite to Elliot and Keith's wedding, he bluntly asks Elliot if she really wants to marry Keith or if she just wants to be married, even pointing out that she might only be with Keith because he's the only one vaguely her type at the hospital. While he relents, it's only because Jordan forced him to. While everyone for the last three episodes of the season try to assure her that she is only having doubts due to pre-wedding jitters, after an almost kiss with J.D., Elliot realizes that Cox was right and she's not in love with Keith after all, leading to her ending things with him.
• Parental Substitute: To J.D. Supposedly, he hates it. Although from a certain point of view one wonders if he knows he's not the best role model for J.D. and is encouraging him to not see him as one. However, Dan (J.D.'s older brother) confronts Dr. Cox at the end of the episode and pretty much says that despite the tough-guy act, Dr. Cox genuinely enjoys being looked up to by the newbies and being their idol, while also telling him to take that responsibility seriously. Jordan also tells Elliot in the fourth season that it really bothers him that she no longer goes running to him for help as much as she used to. Arguably, he really does enjoy getting to steer people on the right path.
  Cox: (exasperated) "Let’s break down the kid’s support system, shall we? He’s got me, an emotionally crippled narcissist, and he’s got YOU (J.D.'s brother Dan), an emotionally crippled narcissist who’s soaking in a tub of what by now has to be mostly your own urine! […] And I have got to believe that the two of us together, TOGETHER Dan, we can make it at least halfway to one legitimate adult!"
• Perma-Stubble: In season 5, he has facial hair for the majority of the season which turns into a Beard of Sorrow when he has a Heroic BSoD due to him accidentally killing four patients. He shaves it off once J.D. helps him recover and bounce back.
• Pet the Dog: Whenever the heart of gold shows itself, Dr. Cox has one of these moments, mostly with J.D. or Carla.
  • The most notable one is probably from "My Lunch" when he takes J.D. out to lunch when J.D. believes Jill Tracy's death was his fault. During the lunch, Cox tells J.D. that he wasn't responsible Jill's mental wellbeing and that he won't let the guilt from this ruin J.D. like he has seen happen to so many doctors.
• Real Men Wear Pink: Averted most of the time, but he loudly goes on about his fondness of soap operas and celebrity gossip. His mentioning of them are a little too detailed for them to just be a bit.
• Screw the Money, I Have Rules!: The exact reason why he hates Kelso. However, when he's put in Kelso's shoes, Dr. Cox realizes how difficult some of Kelso's decisions are and how really tight the Sacred Heart is on money. For example when Cox has to fire Kenny the new cafeteria boy or when he can't hire more nurses.
• Self-Made Orphan: It is jokingly suggested that Cox may have killed his Abusive Parents in "My Saving Grace".
• Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: Manly Man to J.D.'s Sensitive Guy.
• Sink or Swim Mentor: Mainly justified in this approach; he wants his interns to learn, as quickly as possible, that lives depend on them, and that eventually they must rely on their own skills rather than outside assistance. He does have his limits and will step in when the interns really needs his help (which he decides).
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Hugh Jackman. Also Dr. Kelso, especially in the early seasons.
• So Proud of You:
  • In "My Cake" Cox, along with J.D.'s brother Dan, admit that they are proud of J.D. while trying to comfort him over the death of J.D.'s dad.
  • At the end of "My Best Moment" when everyone is reflecting on how the events of the episode is their new best moment in medicine, Cox talks with a bartender about how impressed he is that J.D. handled everything, indicating that seeing J.D. succeed is now his best moment.
• Sour Outside, Sad Inside: Cox's abrasive and harsh exterior hides a great deal of pain in his life from his failed marriage to Jordan and the abuse he suffered as a child.
• Stepford Snarker: He's incredibly snarky and one of the funniest characters on the show, but as it turns out, he's incredibly broken and miserable and has very little to be happy for and even after he gets back together with Jordan and they start a family, he's still broken.
• Stern Teacher: To the interns, and especially to his med students in season 9.
• Testosterone Poisoning: Is obsessed with "being a man" (working out, watching the game, drinking scotch and beer) and his go-to insults are to imply a lack of masculinity.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: While he was always a jerk, he still cared enough about J.D. that he didn't even wait for J.D. to come to him for support about his dad dying before attempting to help J.D. deal with it. But in Season 6 he suddenly seems to outright hate J.D., mocking him for having a condition where he passes out when he poops and refusing to help J.D. get through a difficult time because he doesn't consider it nearly as important as what he went through in season 5. He gets better, but this is definitely the lowest moment for the character.
• Took a Level in Kindness: He'll never admit it but his time with J.D. does make him a better man, more open to accepting help and better at expressing his emotions in a healthy way, exercising patience and forming bonds with people, allowing him to become a better father to Jack and later his daughter. He even takes his role as a mentor more seriously, becomes a better leader to the hospital and his students after seeing how a willingness to step back and see if his methods are working with J.D. improved things and develops greater patience, even showing Ed immense tolerance and giving him a legitimate chance to show his commitment to being a doctor. It admittedly doesn't work but that was only due to Ed's staggering laziness and refusal to take his work seriously, not Dr Cox's behavior. Overall, Cox is in a much better place at the end of the series and much better to be around.
• Tough Love: This is part of his Sink or Swim Mentor shtick. The results are mixed as many will say it does help them improve as doctors but Cox's attitude and harsh abuse are unnecessarily cruel at times.
• Ultimate Job Security: He's a major Dr. Jerk to the extent that Dr. House may have been Inspired by… him. Except that Dr. Cox has been disciplined. He even got suspended from the hospital in the fifth episode. The only reason he hasn't been fired is his ex-wife is on the hospital's board of directors. Plus he's a damned good doctor. And Kelso admitted that he needs him in order to balance out his own focus on the bottom line on occasions when an uninsured patient really does need care.
• Ungrateful Bastard: His response in Season 6 to J.D. helping him get through his accidental killing of three patients is to mock J.D. for being homeless and having a condition where he passes out. He also shows no sympathy to J.D. for being lied to about his baby being miscarried.
• Verbal Tic: He reeee-hee-hee-hee-hee-ally stretches out words when he's ranting. Also uses "there" as a filler word quite often. He's also The Nicknamer and has one, sometimes variants, for most of the hospital staff.
• Vitriolic Best Buds:
  • Becomes this with Kelso in Season 8, since they have gone from arch enemies to friends.
  • He more or less has this with J.D. and Carla, who he snarks at a great deal and Carla always snarks back and J.D. sometimes snarks back, but when they desperately need him, Cox pulls through for them.
  • More Co-Workers then Best Buds with Turk, but Turk is the only surgeon that Cox respects and trusts and they bond over being fathers and over their mutual interests in sports and being competitive. They insult each other so very very often though.
• Walking Shirtless Scene: He is very physically active and it's mentioned repeatedly how much of an effort he makes compared to other doctors. Thus a good number of episodes have him shirtless, sometimes just in his boxers laying around at home. After Jack is born Jordan even mocks him for it "Yes, we know you love your body. Put a shirt on."
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: J.D. desperately wants his approval, which pisses Cox off a lot. Subverted with his father though, one of the happiest day of Cox's life was when his father died.
• With Friends Like These...: With J.D., he hurls abuse and snarks heaps at him and 99.5% of the time, he never uses his real name. But at the same time, Dr. Cox greatly respects him and considers him to have the potential to be an amazing doctor.
• You Called Me "X"; It Must Be Serious: He has only ever called J.D. by his name ("Johnny" or "J.D.", though he never actually calls him "John Dorian") a handful of times in very personal moments.

Carla Espinosa

Carla Espinosa

Just breathes Team Mom

Played By: Judy Reyes

"Well, you're a surgeon. So, you've got the god-complex, the cockiness, the whole "married to the job" thing. You're cute, but you're very, very aware of it. You have no idea what I'm like, so all of your feelings for me are coming from down there [points at his crotch]. But most of all, I'm looking for the real thing; and you're nothing but a little boy who's not used to being told "no." So there's a bunch of reasons. Pick your favorite."

She's the Spicy Latina who's the resident nurse of Sacred Heart and wife of Turk. Carla molded J.D. and Elliot over the years with her tendency to be there for them, which has resulted in their friendship. She can be rather hotheaded to people and feel like her friends are overwhelming her with her quirks, but she cares about them and it shows.

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• All Women Are Prudes: Zig-Zagged. Later seasons imply she wants sex far less often than Turk does, while earlier seasons imply she had a very active sex life before meeting him, because "I was single, I had needs." Elliot even asks her if "jumping" a patient is unprofessional, to which Carla agrees; when Elliot asks if Carla ever has, she replies "Lots of times."
• Almighty Janitor: Even before she had a position of power as a head nurse, she had considerable sway over goings on at the hospital. Several episodes showed that nurses, despite being lower ranked than doctors and getting less respect from the general public, can make or break a hospital. Because Carla is held in high esteem among her fellow nurses, she had far more power than one would guess, and even Kelso at his worst never tried to pull rank with her and always made sure to curry favor with the nurses.
• Ambiguously Bi:
  • In "My First Step", she expresses interest in her and Turk having a threesome with a pharmaceutical rep played by Heather Locklear. Though she appears embarrassed when Turk actually does ask Locklear's character for a threesome.
  • In "My Private Practice Guy" when Elliot puts on a sexy show for a patient suffering from sexually aroused narcolepsy, Carla says, "Now that's sexy".
  • In "My Cold Shower" she has an Imagine Spot in which she is married to Elliot. When it's over she says "Life would be so much simpler".
  • In "My Saving Grace", Elliot mentions that Carla had a sex dream about the cafeteria lady. When said cafeteria lady comes to her table, Carla acts rather flustered.
• Cannot Tell a Joke: There's an episode where her inability to tell jokes that are funny is one of the central focuses. Note that this doesn't mean she can't be funny: as Cox says, when she's being sarcastic or getting up on her high horse she's hilarious, and has beaten even him in snarkiness. Having to tell a joke with a setup, punchline, and needing good delivery, however, is not one of her skills.
• Clingy Jealous Girl: If Turk so much as looks at another woman, she goes nuts and yells at him.
• Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: To everyone (Turk, J.D., Elliot, Dr. Cox), as to be expected from the Only Sane Woman and Team Mom.
• Control Freak: She's extremely controlling and dominating in her relationships, whether those are sexual/romantic relationships or her friendships with others. This includes a willingness to use sex as a weapon in a romantic relationship.
• Deadpan Snarker: She's the snarkiest character after Dr. Cox, Jordan, and Kelso. It's usually while criticizing J.D., Turk, Elliot or Dr. Cox.
• The Dreaded: Comedic example, but not even the Janitor has the guts to say anything bad about her, despite the fact that he's twice her size, could easily snap her like a twig, and is the the trope namer for Almighty Janitor. (Keep in mind the Janitor once snapped his fingers and a bunch of the custodial staff showed up out of nowhere, grabbed Dr. Cox, then left him Bound and Gagged in the morgue after Cox crossed the Janitor. Despite having that sort of power, he treads lightly around Carla.) Even Kelso from the early seasons, before he was softened up, avoided getting into a direct confrontation with her, especially when it pertained to work matters.
• Dude, Where's My Respect?: She feels the Doctors take the Nursing staff for granted and most of the time she's right and often points it out.
• Fatal Flaw: Pride. Carla is a very proud person and is also certain that she is (almost) always right and has the unique insights that other people need in order to straighten out their lives. This has resulted in her ego backfiring on her on several occasions.
• Fire-Forged Friends: With Elliot. When the series started, they started out on the wrong foot and insult one another a great deal. After the first few episodes, they had a casual friendship and in Season 2, they became much closer friends after bonding over insecurities and they were best friends for the rest of the show.
• Flanderization: Her trait of giving advice got flanderized as time passed. In the early seasons, it was to help struggling interns, residents, or even friends that needed her guidance; in the later seasons, she forcibly gives her opinions whenever she has the chance and once admitted that taking the moral high ground "is like crack for [her]".
• Glowing Eyes of Doom: J.D. has a fantasy of her with them after Janitor calls a new latina nurse a young Carla to get back at her, which serves as a Shout-Out to Mortal Kombat and X-Men.
• Gossipy Hens: With Laverne.
• Gratuitous Spanish: Carla has a tendency to mix English and Spanish together at times.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: She'll go off at someone for their quirks at the drop of a hat for the slightest thing, like J.D. and Turk goofing around in their spare time.
• Hospital Hottie: She managed to get it on with Turk in the first episode and was crushed on by Dr. Cox so she definitely has a hot factor to her.
• Hypocrite: She gets mad at Turk when she finds out he kept Dr Cox's crush on her a secret because he seemed to take Cox seriously as a threat, meaning he doesn't feel secure in their relationship. However, only three episodes later she gets into a bad mood during her shift because she (obviously wrongly) believes Turk is cheating on her with Bonnie. In fact, unlike Carla and Cox who are genuinely friends, Turk and Bonnie honestly couldn't hate each other more.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While very bossy and stubborn (and becomes more of a Control Freak over the time), she's also caring and protective of her friends as well as the interns, sticking up for them when they make mistakes.
• Lysistrata Gambit: At the drop of a hat. Elliot can do this to Turk just by being Carla's friend.
• Loved by All: Best shown when the recurring characters' number in My Musical is all about how much they'll miss her when she plans to leave the job for a year post-partum.
• Mama Bear: So much so that she once admitted that being the mother figure to the rest of the cast was "like crack" to her.
• Morality Pet: The only person Dr. Cox treats with anything resembling respect.
• My Beloved Smother:
  • While supportive and mothering to the new interns, Carla admits she can go overboard, particularly when she senses that they're outgrowing her. Her slowness in recognizing J.D.'s need to stand on his own two feet causes one of their few major spats.
  • Her own mother is also this in her one appearance and they have a somewhat codependant relationship.
• The Nicknamer: Calls J.D. "Bambi" sometimes, mostly in early seasons.
• Oblivious to Love: In season 1 she was oblivious about Dr. Cox's crush on her. In a more comedic example, Ted had a thing for her early on that she didn't pick up on.
• Only Friend: To Dr. Cox, at the hospital. Aside from Ben, she's the only one who he'll call a friend without hesitation.
• Only Sane Woman: The sanest of the principal cast and mostly everyone else who works at the hospital. Nine times out of ten, any problems that arise in their relationship are caused by Turk. On the rare occasion that Carla is the cause of the problem, she'll get her way anyway. For example, an episode where Carla learned that she had to compromise with Turk instead of making all the decisions herself ended with her getting the car she wanted anyway; that's right: in the end, Turk was the one who made the compromise.
• Overshadowed by Awesome: In-universe. For a nurse Carla has a lot of power in the hospital, and this was BEFORE she was head nurse. Lampshaded by J.D.'s monologue after one episode where the only doctors present were himself, Elliot and Turk.
  J.D.: (Inner Monologue while he, Elliot and Turk walk out the hospital) "Tonight we practically ran the hospital. But tomorrow, we'll go back to being the most under-appreciated people here."
  Camera goes past them and focuses on Carla.
  Carla: "Hey guys, wait up."
• Parenting the Husband: When Carla first meets Turk's mom, she's creeped out by how similar they are.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: She tends to hand these out to people somewhat regularly to the point it gives her a rush when she does so. "You know what your problem is?"
• The Reliable One: At the hospital, she's Head Nurse and she has an amazing memory when it comes to the patients and what they've been given. In her personal life, she's more or less the den mother for J.D., Turk, and Elliot. She also keeps Elliot grounded and prevents Elliot's neuroses from screwing up her life.
• Ring on a Necklace: After marrying Turk she can be seen wearing her engagement and wedding rings on a necklace whenever she's at work. This allows her to keep the rings on her but protects them from being damaged or lost when she's performing medical procedures.
• Sitcom Character Archetypes: The Sage. Rarer than Cox, but still apparent.
• Spicy Latina: Get in her way or hurt her friends and she will give you a full dose of her temper.
• Team Mom
  Carla: "You think I enjoy being den mother to all of you!?"
  (Everyone gives her a "Well duh" look)
  Carla: "Okay fine. It's like crack to me."
• Took a Level in Jerkass: In Season 5 onwards she becomes even more of a control freak and even physically, verbally and financially abusive towards Turk to the point that she hits him on several occasions and regularly berates him. Turk even states at one point that she controls his finances.

Bob Kelso

Robert "Bob" Kelso

He may not look like pure evil...

Played By: Ken Jenkins

"Dr. Dorian, do you not realize, that you're nothing more than a large pair of scrubs to me? For God's sake, the only reason I carry this chart around is so I can pretend to remember your damn name!"

The Chief of Staff of Sacred Heart, Kelso is a snide and grumpy old man who allows improper practices and makes strict rules for the sake of the hospital's budget. However, he does show some care to certain people, even if it's extremely rare and his decisions in the hospital aren't always easy to make for him.

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• Zero-Approval Gambit: In "His Story IV", he lets himself be hated because it rallies the staff together AGAINST him, letting them focus on caring for their patients instead of arguing with each other.
• Ambiguously Bi: He's constantly lusting after women, but certain comments hint he's in love with his army buddy Johnny. Though this Johnny may be the only man he'd pine after.
• Asshole Victim: Cox can sucker-punch him in a room filled with both hospital employees and patients and escape legal consequences because no one will admit to seeing it happen.
• Bad Boss: He treats Ted as his punching bag, he treats the Interns like shit and he's just an all around asshole to everyone. Averted with his gardener, who he treats well, to Carla's surprise.
• Being Good Sucks: Kelso is delighted to again be working with his oldest friend, Townsend, who is a very Nice Guy but turns out to be extremely out of date on how to treat patients. When confronted about this, Townsend admits that he just can't keep up with new medical procedures anymore, and Kelso sadly remarks that that means they have a problem. Kelso is later shown erasing Townsend's name from the on-call board, and he is in no mood to talk about it.
• Big Eater: From Season 3 onwards, he's portrayed as having a love of muffins and in later seasons even wins free muffins for life. He also eats several cakes on his own.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He purposefully makes his first impression that of a kind, grandfatherly "safety net" for the interns, a friendly boss to Ted, an attentive doc to patients, and a subservient kissass to board members. However, he's really a bitter, mean man whose main concern is the bottom line.
• Brutal Honesty: When somebody asks for advice (whether personal or professional), he'll give it to them bluntly without sparing their feelings. He also overshares horrific details about his relationship with his family.
• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Underneath his jerkass behavior and (later) goofiness, he's an excellent doctor.
• Character Development: The early seasons largely presented him as a Jerkass that was only interested in money, but gradually he was shown to have far more depth to him.
• Cool Old Guy: At the beginning of the series he was quite the opposite, however he evolves into one after he leaves the hospital, in the last few seasons.
• Cruel to Be Kind: In "My Drug Buddy", he ended up becoming quite friendly with Carla after giving her a ride to work one day and found he liked her, but when he noticed that being friends with her was making the rest of the Nursing Staff isolate Carla, he purposefully goes back to treating her like crap again so she won't lose her friends.
• Cynical Mentor: Shares this role with Cox. He's the other end of the spectrum. He has always been willing to work with the system and uses it to try and do as much good as he can, but it's shown that it still hurts him when he lets people down and that he's very lonely. He's a much happier man when he retires.
• Deadpan Snarker: Primarily with Dr. Cox and Interns when they screw up at rounds.
• Didn't Think This Through: He spends "My Scrubs" both coming down hard on people stealing scrubs and trying to get a friend without insurance treated for a foot condition, but the former means the latter isn't going happen. Kelso is displeased and points out he's always pretended not to notice when patients are treated behind his back, but J.D. and Turk retort that he was fully prepared to fire people over something completely trivial, which means the staff had no reason to think he'd look the other way on more serious matters. Kelso gets the message and backs off on the scrubs so that his friend can get treated.
• Dirty Old Man: He loves Asian prostitutes and he's proud of it.
• The Dreaded: Especially seen when he interacts with the Interns.
• Dr. Jerk: He treats everyone below him pretty badly, especially the Interns and Ted. Hell, he even treats the patients like crap, especially those without insurance!
• Evil Is Petty: Quite literally admitted it once when he ordered a blueberry muffin and then immediately threw it into the trash.
  "Because I can."
• Evil Mentor: He tries to become this to J.D. in "My Two Dads", but J.D. ultimately sides with Cox's patient-based philosophy.
• Flanderization: His goofiness. In later seasons it became his main personality trait.
• From Hero to Mentor: After he retires as Chief of Medicine, he mentors Perry as his eventual replacement.
• The Gadfly: Constantly loves to torment his staff with pranks and embarrassing jokes.
• Genghis Gambit: An odd variant. His solution to the hospital staff spending too much time arguing about the morality of the Second Iraq War, make them all unite in their mutual hatred of him.
• Good All Along: When it comes to patients VS the business of the hospital, Kelso is revealed to be on the side of the patients, looking away when the doctors break the rules to treat them and only acting like the bad guy to keep the board from firing him and putting in somebody who really does only care about the bottom line.
• Grumpy Old Man: Primarily in the earlier seasons, but he had a tendency to complain about a lot of things and he was just plain unpleasant.
• HA HA HA—No: Has a variant of this when J.D. asks him to tell some old stories about the hospital.
  Kelso: (smiles) Well, what the hell. Back in '68 (drops smile) I don't like you. The end.
• Hard Head: According to The Janitor, who was a paid a few bucks to whack him in the head with his mop handle, it just made him angry.
  Janitor: He's got a skull like a mountain goat.
• Hated by All: Everyone at Sacred Heart hates him, to the extent that when Dr. Cox tricks everyone into thinking Kelso is dead in the episode "My Kingdom," their reactions range from indifference to joy; resident Butt-Monkey Ted openly cheers and dances around in celebration. Subverted after his retirement, where everyone at the hospital greets him like a beloved grandpa when he comes around the hospital Coffee Bucks everyday.
• Hates Everyone Equally: Even moreso than Cox. The difference being that while Cox hates people, Kelso has gone so far beyond hatred he just doesn't give a crap who he annoys or hurts anymore. Or at least acts like he doesn't.
• Hidden Depths:
  • In "My Tuscaloosa Heart" it's revealed that he used to be a musician and write love songs. This is made especially poignant when it's revealed that Bunny, the woman he wrote about, is the wife who now hates him.
  • According to his actor, the primary example of this was in his final moments with Nurse Roberts. He tells her goodbye and gives her a tender kiss on the lips.
• Hidden Heart of Gold:
  • Kelso is intially portrayed as a Jerk with a Heart of Jerk, and his heart of gold is only slowly and sporadically revealed. The staff first suspect that he may not be a complete jerk when they realized his gardener, who has worked for him for over 20 years, actually seems to like him. It is eventually revealed in his Day in the Limelight episode that he intentionally takes on the role of the Jerkass to unite the staff. When he temporarily drops it, the entire staff is torn apart, nearly killing a patient who he cares deeply about. After his retirement, he's still hanging around the hospital, guiding his successors and generally being slightly less of a gigantic prick now that he no longer has to be Chief of Medicine.
  • One of the running gags in the earlier seasons was that Kelso would ditch work to go on some extravagant vacation while the hospital staff was floundering. His conversation with his old friend Townsie shows that those trips were likely for medical seminars to keep himself up to date with the latest medical procedures (which have a tendency to rapidly become obsolete). Considering how often he's shown to be a match for Cox and how often he stumps the interns with questions, he really is keeping pace despite being much older while still working as Chief of Medicine. In contrast, said old friend still uses woefully, almost lethally outdated techniques, and serves as an example of someone who did slack off and isn't up to date. Kelso is devastated by the revelation that his friend has to be removed from rotation.
  • Kelso is aware that some of his doctors, mainly Dr. Cox, use fraud to get patients with no insurance the treatment they deserve, and while he will punish them if he ever finds out, he also has admitted that he did turn a blind eye in the past and he seems to indirectly encourage his doctors to do that behind his back.
• Hilariously Abusive Childhood: His father left the family when he was a child and stole his bike to do it (while spelling out to him that he was only able to leave because of said bike, as the family car was owned by his wife), leaving him with a phobia of bikes in the present.
  Kelso: Why did you leave me, daddy? [runs over bikes with his car]
• Insistent Terminology: Refers to Turk and Carla as "Mr. and Mrs. Turkleton". Even when Turk points out that isn't his last name.
  Turk: "Sir, you do know my last name isn't Turkleton?"
  Kelso: "Not yet, Turkleton. Not yet."
• It Amused Me: When he switches a cup of decaf for regular that Turk was going to give to Carla, he remarks as he leaves "What a fun day."
• Jerkass: He cheats on his wife and keeps her doped up on anti-depressants, openly makes fun off his gay son (mainly for his horrible taste in men and terrible life choices, rather than him being gay), and treats his staff like crap.
• Jerkass Has a Point:
  • While Dr. Kelso is generally depicted as a ruthless, heartless bastard, it is sometimes noted that he does have hard decisions to make between demonstrating humanity towards the doctors and the patients versus the overall welfare of the hospital as a whole. J.D once notes that while he'll never like or respect Kelso, he also wouldn't want to have to make these decisions himself.
  • Even in early seasons, he'd occasionally have a moment where he bluntly told somebody a harsh truth.
• Kick the Dog: Pretty much all the time, especially when he appears with Ted to the point that while everyone else tries to save Kelso's job Ted is absolutely elated when he retires.
• Laser-Guided Karma: Even if, especially in the later seasons, it's been established that he had to be a Jerkass for a reason, treating your staff like crap will not be Easily Forgiven (and most of them weren't that close to him to begin with to have realized the necessary facade). At the end of the Season 8 episode "My Cuz", when Dr. Kelso is discharged from the hospital following an illness and realizing that he missed being a doctor, he tries to greet some doctors walking past him, but is completely ignored by them.
• Last-Name Basis: Usually referred to by his last name. Averted in Season 8, when he goes from mean Dr. Kelso to Bob, the guy who eats muffins at the Coffee Bucks.
• Lonely at the Top: Heavily implied to be the case for him. Everyone in the hospital fears and/or hates him because he's rude, callous, and constantly makes unpopular decisions that hurt or discomfort hospital staff and patients alike. But as he often reiterates, the hospital is underfunded, and if he ran things the way J.D. would, people would walk all over him and they'd shut down in an hour. A massive organization with countless moving parts like a hospital will also inevitably create friction amongst different staff and departments, slowing down productivity, so he puts on that mean bastard facade to get everyone united in their hatred against him. Because of this, he has no real friends, and the people he's closest to are the people who hate him the most, Ted and Dr Cox.
• Manipulative Bastard: He's very good at playing people to get what he wants and it's revealed in Season 6 that he manipulates everyone to hate him so they stay united.
• Manly Tears: After his beloved dog Baxter dies, Kelso spends the entire next day in his office crying and having Carla answer his door for him. He swears he has delt with it emotionally, but he cries silently the whole day none the less.
• Mean Boss: He's a full blown jerkass who abuses Ted, constantly harassed and belittled Elliot in the earlier seasons and has no respect for anyone who works for him (except for his gardener).
• Mentor Archetype: In late season 7 and throughout season 8, after retiring he is able to drop the "mean bureaucrat" facade and tap into his years of experience as Chief of Medicine and as a doctor in general to guide the characters. In particular, he helps Dr. Cox with understanding the responsibilities that come with being Chief of Medicine and teaches J.D. that he needed to be what Dr. Cox was to him, a thankless Morality Chain.
• Morality Pet: His son Harrison is seemingly the only person in the world Kelso truly loves. While earlier seasons first implied that he was disappointed in Harrison for being gay and didn't care much for him, Kelso is actually only disappointed in Harrison's taste in men and in fact Harrison is what brings out Kelso's softer side (see Papa Wolf and Pet the Dog). He even admitted in "My Chief Concern" that he thinks about moving up Seattle to be closer to Harrison all the time.
• Necessarily Evil: Crosses over with Zero-Approval Gambit and Mean Boss. As the Chief of Medicine, Kelso has to do what's best for the hospital, even if that means some patients end up dying as a result of his decisions (though in practice he is quite happy to look the other way when the staff treats those patients in spite of this).
• Not So Above It All:
  • Dr Kelso berates everyone for dressing up for Halloween in "My Big Brother", only for The Stinger to reveal he was the one causing mischief around the hospital in a Gorilla costume.
  • In "My Kingdom", he claims to be utterly unbothered by the fact that everyone in the hospital hates him, but when Cox plays a prank that results in everyone believing he's dead, he's shown to be genuinely wounded when he comes back to learn that everyone's reaction to this news was either apathy at best or outright joy at worst.
• O.O.C. Is Serious Business: The typical Bob Kelso is acerbic, cranky, and belligerent. When he shows sadness or solemnity, it's probably his true character.
• Odd Friendship: He and Cox strike one up after Kelso retires, lampshaded by Cox. He was always determined to be a good doctor and help as many people as possible, but took a different approach to it than Cox did, and they bond over the emotional difficulty that comes with being Chief of Medicine.
• Papa Wolf: Lapses into Hypocritical Heartwarming, but while Kelso complains repeatedly about his son Harrison, only he is allowed to; when he and Dr. Cox are offhandedly making fun of their sons, Dr. Cox makes a joke about Dr. Kelso's son, who retaliates by forcing Dr. Cox work with Ted all afternoon. Cox is baffled by this until Jordan explains:
  Perry: We were sitting around, making fun of each other's kids—
  Jordan: No, you made fun of your kid, he made fun of his kid, then you made fun of his kid. You never make fun of somebody else's kid.
  • Later seasons also show that his disappointment with his son comes from his son's terrible choices in both partners and jobs.
  Kelso: "I swear, you could line up a hundred gay men and Harrison would pick out the attention-starved, bi-polar, ex-con every time."
• Parental Abandonment: His father left him and family when he was a child, using a bicycle. As such he hates bicycles.
• Pet the Dog:
  • "My Porcelain God" reveals that he is actually nice to his gardener, who likes Kelso enough that he has worked for him for twenty years. After the gardener recovers from being in the hospital, Kelso treats him and his whole family to ice cream at Dairy Queen.
  • In "My Screw Up", he spends much of the episode loudly declaiming that he doesn't care about anyone else's problems, but at the end of the episode, he shares a personal anecdote and wisdom with Carla, who was struggling about whether or not to force Turk to remove his mole.
  • In "My Best Moment" he bonds with Mr. Milligan's son Tylar and allows Mr. Milligan to have his spleen surgery despite not having any insurance.
  • "My Jiggly Ball" has a rather tragic example. Just after Dr. Cox and J.D. get Mr. Morrison into a drug trial that can save his life, Kelso boots him out of in favor of a rich man with the same illness. When Cox confronts him however, Kelso reveals that, rather than take the rich man's money for any selfish reason, he is using the money to reopen the prenatal unit (which he announced had to be closed at the start of the episode). While he doesn't let the others see it, he was devastated that he had to let Mr. Morrison die but did so for all the underprivileged pregnant women that could be helped because of it.
  • In "My Fallen Idol", when Dr. Cox is in a depression spiral after the events of "My Lunch", Kelso tells Cox that he actually does appreciate Cox keeping him in line and telling him when he has gone too far. Kelso even goes so far as to admit that he and the hospital need Cox.
  • In "My Hard Labor" Kelso gently comforts Harrison when the latter calls while devastated that his boyfriend stole and sold Harrison's car for drug money.
  • In "My Dumb Luck", Kelso spends most of the day telling the intern Boon all about his time at Sacred Heart, especially about the downsides, when Boon goes to clock in for his shift, he turns back and asks if he is goes to hate working there over the next few years. Kelso warmly tells him he is going to love it.
  • Also, in "My Dumb Luck", when Kelso quits his job, he makes sure to stop and sincerely tell Ted "Thanks for everything". Ted is audibly touched despite having celebrated Kelso leaving earlier in the episode.
  • In "My Happy Place", when he mistakenly believes J.D. and Elliot are dating again, he tells them it's nice they got back together. When they begin talking about getting back together and fret about what other people will think, Kelso tells them not to care about what the others think and to do what makes them happy. They take his advice and get back together.
  • In "My Finale" he gives J.D. a proper farewell, shaking his hand and wishing him a good life.
• Plausible Deniability: In later seasons it's shown that he is fully aware that his staff often treat patients behind his back even if they are ordered not to (such as if they are terminal, don't have insurance etc.) and he pretty much lets them off with it, or publicly punishes them while privately being happy they did it. As Chief of Medicine it's his job to run the hospital like a business and Sacred Heart is often shown having financial problems on top of that, but as long as he makes a show of being ruthlessly tight-fisted he doesn't have to answer awkward questions if patients are treated "under his nose" to the Board of Directors.
• Put on a Bus: Subverted twice. When he's forced into retirement in season 7 he seemingly leaves the hospital for good, however season 8 keeps him as a regular by having him hang around the hospital coffee shop all day. At the end of season 8 he decides to leave Sacred Heart to become a doctor again else where, even taking his favorite chair from the coffee shop with him. Then come season 9 there's a Time Skip and he takes a teaching job at the new hospital after his wife dies.
• Race Fetish: For Asian women, to the point of having an Asian Babymama.
• Sad Clown: It's made clear several times that a lot of his jokes and cruelty are a façade to mask the fact that he hates how many people he can't help and that his wife is very ill.
• Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!
  "Write this down, Perry. I'm old, and I honestly don't care what people think about anything I do." (farts) "That was me, folks!"
• Shipper on Deck: During "My Happy Place", he admits that it's nice to see J.D. and Elliot dating again, even though they were officially still in a platonic friendship at this point. Him pointing out that the two basically do everything that a couple does except have sex prompts the two to have a serious conversation about whether or not they should get back together. When they admit to each other that they're scared of moving forward, partially out of fear of what others would say about them, Kelso interjects that they should just do what makes them happy. It proves to be enough to inspire them to reignite their relationship.
• Sitcom Archnemesis: To Cox, especially in the early seasons.
• The Spock: His primary role. He is all too willing to coldly sacrifice individual patients for the good of the hospital. However, its been shown that he really doesn't enjoy it and he gets moments that bring him closer to being The Kirk.
• Straw Misogynist: Often shows a sexist streak; on one occasion, he chose Turk to go to Mexico on Doctors Without Borders instead of his rival Bonnie Chang simply because Bonnie was a woman.
• Token Evil Teammate: Compared to the other main characters and most people who work at the hospital, he's by far the most cruel and malicious (closely followed by the Janitor...Depending on the Writer).
• Took a Level in Kindness:
  • Sort of. He's always a Jerkass, but in early seasons he was more of a heartless bastard with nearly no redeeming qualities, while in later seasons he lets out a few hints of warmness and Hidden Heart of Gold every now and again. It was stated outright that he had to be the bad guy as the Chief of Medicine, otherwise the hospital wouldn't function.
  • Really kicks in after he stops being Chief of Medicine. Without all the responsibility he actually becomes a friend and guide to Dr. Cox, supports J.D. and Elliot's relationship, and is even (kind of) nicer to Ted. He's still got a lot of his jerkish qualities but he's still a lot better.
• Trademark Favorite Food: He loves his muffins.
• Tragic Bigot: In "My Five Stages" it's revealed that he's apparently this toward... bicycles. More specifically, to anybody who associates with them.
  Kelso's Father: Son, Daddy's got to move on. And I just want you to know that since the car is in your mother's name, I wouldn't be able to leave the family forever if it weren't for your bike.
• Vitriolic Best Buds: Becomes this with Dr. Cox in Season 8, since they have gone from arch-enemies to friends.

The Janitor

"The Janitor"

He sees all, he knows all, and he is watching you.

Played By: Neil Flynn

"You seem unhappy. I like that."

The Almighty Janitor who has a dislike of doctors, especially J.D. When he's not tormenting J.D. at every chance he gets, he tells zany stories (which are mostly lies) to the staff and helps out Elliot when he can. He's also insane.

---

• Abusive Parents: The most consistent trait about the Janitor's past is that his upbringing was not a pleasant one. These abusive incidents are revealed either in the janitor's own thoughts, such as being forced to eat on the floor, or out loud when there is no one around to fool, like his parents sticking him in a cat carrier, which proves they really happened.
• Adam Westing: One alternate character interpretation is that the Janitor is in fact Neil Flynn, hence explaining why he appeared in The Fugitive playing Neil Flynn's role. Of course for this to work, Neil Flynn would have had to fallen down on his luck and been forced into becoming a hospital janitor which is inline with other examples of Adam Westing.
• Almighty Janitor: The Janitor is so devious, underhanded and omniscient it borders on a superpower.
• Berserk Button:
  • Being called stupid.
  • Almost anything J.D. says or does, apparently.
• Blatant Lies: All the time. A large part of his character is that he makes up wild and outlandish stories about his life that are always far-fetched and, more often than not, outright contradict each other to the point that, unless it's part of a flash back he had or talks about it with no one else around, he probably made it up. J.D. calls him out on this in "My Bright Idea" when he attempted to spin a story about being romantically involved with President Jimmy Carter's daughter Amy.
• Breakout Character: The reason he appears after the pilot episode is because he was such a big hit and he started interacting with the other characters because of his popularity.
• The Bully: To J.D. for the entire series. He goes out of his way to harass and make J.D.'s life harder just because he can.
• Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: In-universe example. In the Season 9 premiere, Turk states that the Janitor didn't know J.D. was leaving the hospital for good. Upon being informed of this, the Janitor just disappeared and no one knows where he went. Doubles as a Call-Back to the show's first season, where he was originally supposed to be a figment of J.D.'s imagination.
• Cloudcuckoolander: Increasingly so. He often comes up with the craziest stories (mostly lies). Among other things, he has his own squirrel army. He also doesn't believe in the moon, he thinks it's just the back of the sun.
• Consummate Liar: Is very good at telling lies and stories; even those he's duped before tend to fall for his tricks again and again.
• Deadpan Snarker: He tends to be very snarky in his making J.D. miserable or in response to things J.D. says. This dialogue from the second episode:
  J.D.: How's it going?
  Janitor: I'm 37 years old, and I'm a janitor; how do you think it's going?
  J.D.: Now, there is nothing wrong with being a janitor.
  Janitor: Really? Thank you. You...you've turned my life around. I'm gonna have to go tell my janitor wife and all our janitor kids that life is worth living; and that comes straight from our hero, Dr. Whoozitz.... Dr. Nothin'.
• Death Glare: To J.D. for not helping him move (Actually breaking into an Asian couple's apartment and robbing them) and to Carla for not giving him what he wanted.
• Depending on the Writer: Is The Janitor extremely dedicated and proud of how clean he keeps the hospital, or is he a lazy psychopath who pulls pranks on the staff all day, drinks on the clock, and never cleans as "a lesson"? For that matter, does he really hate J.D. and single him out, or is he a Jerk with a Heart of Gold who just enjoys messing with everybody for fun's sake?
• Disproportionate Retribution: A big fan of this. Especially to J.D.
  J.D.: "Oh, it looks like I did something wrong. I guess this means you'll decapitate me for it, right?"
• The Dreaded: It's been shown twice he can make whole crowds do whatever he wants, just out of fear.
• Earn Your Happy Ending: "His Story III." The Janitor feels like he doesn't make a difference in the hospital, but then a paralyzed patient he spent the episode talking to thanks him for treating him as a person and not as an object.
• Easily Forgiven: Despite all of the horrible things he's done to J.D., some of which could have permanently injured or killed him, he parts with J.D. on good terms.
• Enemy Mine: He and J.D. worked together to help Ted get a girl though this alliance ended when Ted got the girl.
• Everyone Calls Him "Barkeep": Even his Hospital ID lists his name as "The Janitor".
• Everyone Has Standards:
  • Even The Janitor has enough of a heart not to hassle J.D. after his dad died.
  • He's an avid hunter and is very proud of his kills, but he'd never intentionally harm a pet. (As seen when he spends a whole episode caring for a fish J.D. handed him and is actually ashamed when he drops the bowl on accident)
• Evil Is Petty: While more of a Jerkass than actually evil, the Janitor went out of his way to screw with J.D. and make his life miserable for eight years simply because J.D. accidentally lodged a penny in the door.
• Flanderization:
  • While he gets more screen time and Character Development over the years (he was barely a Satellite Character in season 1), he goes from a mysterious strange janitor guy to a literally insane and sociopathic character. Played for Laughs obviously.
  • His early pranks on J.D. were mostly harmless. In later seasons many of his pranks are physically dangerous or even potentially fatal. This reflects on how he was originally supposed to be a figment of J.D.'s imagination, so he couldn't do much more than tease, before more opportunities to torture J.D. opened up after becoming a more physical presence.
• Friendly Enemy:
  • With Dr. Cox. They're bar buddies and they're the only ones they can speak to on an equal level about hating people.
  • Strange example with Dr. Kelso; after J.D., Kelso is the doctor the Janitor feuds with the most, but apparently they're friends whenever they work the night-shift.
• The Friend Nobody Likes: When J.D. tries to convince the others to attend Janitor's wedding, he says “I know the Janitor isn't exactly a friend to us, but he is a part of our family. A horrible, horrible part”.
• Groin Attack:
  • In "My Own Personal Jesus", when a little girl is walking by, the friendly Janitor asks her what she wants for Christmas, but she nonchalantly hits him in the crotch for some reason. This is also the first time another person other than J.D. interacted with the Janitor.
  • In "My Extra Mile", Carla elbows the Janitor in the groin, but she hurts her elbow instead because the Janitor is wearing protection. The height difference between the two makes it easy for Carla to him there with her elbow.
  Carla: Ow! What are you wearing, a cup?
  Janitor: Well, people try to hit me there more than you'd think.
• Hair-Trigger Temper: Everything J.D. says to him is taken in the most insulting way possible.
• Heroic Comedic Sociopath: He does make a small difference, but for the most part he goes out of his way to piss off and make everyone's life miserable except for Elliot (Who is his Morality Pet) and Carla (Who he fears).
• Hidden Depths: When Carla finally manages to gather the whole hospital staff for a group photo, Janitor ruins it with a strategically angled mirror. Turns out he didn't do it For the Evulz, he did it because nobody asked him to be part of the picture and it hurt his feelings.
• Hopeless Suitor: To Elliot. He develops a crush on her because she's apparently the only one who treats him with respect, but it's clear that she doesn't feel the same way.
• Horrible Judge of Character: As evidenced by who he allows into his "Brain Trust", The Janitor isn't very good at picking who he chooses to listen to:
  • Troy, the cafeteria worker, is not only more unhinged than The Janitor, but is less than half as smart as he is, to the point he mispronounces basic words.
  • Randall, the little person who becomes another janitor, seems reasonable for the most part, but considering he apparently often suggests arson as the solution to The Janitor's problems, you'd think The Janitor would stop listening to him.
  • The Todd is very obviously a poor choice given that he is at best a Genius Ditz. Even The Janitor admits Todd annoys him.
  • While Doug is better than the two people who replaced him, he is also only a Genius Ditz at best as he is the second worst doctor in the entire show (with only Cabbage being worse) and is just very weird in general.
  • Lloyd the Delivery Guy is a burnout drug addict who is barely keeping it together. Even after Lloyd admits to having tried to fake his death due to being thousands of dollars in det, The Janitor only gives Doug the spot back until Lloyd is back on his feet.
  • Jimmy the Overly Touchy Orderly, as the name implies, is so over the top handsy that The Janitor asking him to keep his hands to himself during meetings renders him worthless.
• Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: With Carla when they interact, though he does loom over a lot of the other female interns as well.
• I Just Want to Have Friends: Type B... more or less. He told Elliot that she was the only person on the hospital staff that treated him as a person. Neil Flynn also theorized that the Janitor's pranks were a very odd way of showing overtures of friendship to J.D.
• Insistent Terminology: It's not a jumpsuit, it's a shirt and pants!
• I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: He pines for "Blonde Doctor" and even makes a couple of attempts to win her over romantically, but he never shows any jealousy or tries to sabatogue her when she dates other guys. Not even when she dates J.D., his nemesis. In fact, when she was engaged to Keith, the Janitor's immediate response was to earnestly seek the perfect wedding gift.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Every so often he raises a valid point for his vendettas against people.
  • He is right to call out J.D on pining over Elliot and how pathetic it is near the end of Season 3.
  • He's also right to be pissed at Turk for covering the hospital walls in handprints.
• Jerkass to One: While he's not above tormenting other people, J.D. is always his favorite target. He pranks him almost every time he interacts with him.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Though we see the Jerk aspect 99.9% of the time because of how much he tortures the staff, he genuinely likes Elliot and will do his best to help her out. He's also quite fond of and supportive of Ted.
• Karma Houdini: He can do almost everything just because he's "the Janitor" and he (almost) always comes out on top.
• Karma Houdini Warranty: He gets his comeuppance in "My Own Personal Hell" and "My Perspective", probably the only episodes where the Janitor's pranks on J.D. backfire and J.D. finally gets the last laugh on him. Similarly, in "My Cake" he tries to gaslight Kelso into thinking he has Alzheimer's with a crane, and ends up stuck on a bench suspended in the air for a weekend.
• Karmic Trickster: He sees himself as one, putting the high-and-mighty doctors in their place after they slight him. Whether he's right or going too far depends on the person and situation. Most of his pranks on J.D. are the latter, while in his feud with Kelso it's normally the former.
• Lack of Empathy: Again, towards J.D. He IS capable of empathy- in one episode, he spends it talking with a bedridden person who requires a computer to speak to keep him company. He often sticks up for Elliot or "Blonde Doctor."
  • He does cut J.D. slack on occasion. He chose to be cordial when J.D. was coping with his father dying, admitted that he was an actor in The Fugitive after J.D. gives him a particularly scathing "The Reason You Suck" Speech, and stood up for J.D. on a particularly difficult roadtrip to see Kim's ultrasound, though he was suffering a concussion during that last bit.
• The Nicknamer: He nicknamed J.D. "Scooter", Turk "Black Doctor" and Elliot "Blonde Doctor" and almost never uses their real names.
• No Name Given: Lampshaded and obviously played for laughs. In the season 8 finale, the Janitor apparently reveals his name to J.D., but as soon as J.D. leaves, someone else walks by and calls the Janitor by a different name. The writers say the name given to J.D., Glen Matthews, is his actual name. Also at Turk and Carla's wedding it appears he actually did give his name to Danni, who says Hey Glenn while Ted and Doug fight about which of them she is referring to, having both made out with her recently and competing over who she is giving more attention to. Then again, the show's creators have occasionally said (probably joking) that they don't know any more about The Janitor than the viewers do, that he just showed up on the set one day and everyone was too afraid of him to tell him to leave.
• Not So Above It All: While normally immune to insults and the like, he will become genuinely sad when told he doesn't make a difference.
• Odd Friendship:
  • His "Brain Trust" buddies: Ted, Todd, and Doug, of all people.
  • He and Carla whenever Carla finds herself in a zany, farcical situation and needs help.
• Pet the Dog:
  • Has some moments of this with Elliot and Ted. With the latter, for a while he's the only person that actually makes an effort to be nice to him.
  • His goodbye words to Laverne as she's dying.
  • When J.D.'s dad dies, he actually doesn't bother him out of respect, merely glancing at him and letting things drop.
  • In "My Clown", he's actually seen in the Children's Ward entertaining some kids. Of course, that also involves shoving J.D over, but it's still rather cute.
• The Prankster: To J.D., given that his primary role in the series is to screw with J.D. and make his life hell. He also screws with the rest of the main cast, but not as much.
• Promotion to Opening Titles: Subverted slightly. He gets promoted to the main cast in Season 2 and, simultaneously, the theme for the first few episodes was expanded, allowing the Janitor to be present in them. However, a few episodes into the season, the intro was shortened back to its original length/style, meaning that he was no longer featured in them despite remaining a main cast member throughout the show's run.
• Satellite Character: In the first season he only exists to be J.D.'s tormentor and never really interacts with anyone else. This changes starting in season 2, when he becomes a main character and has regular interactions with the rest of the cast, although he still torments J.D. at every chance he gets.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: When Turk informs him J.D. doesn't work at Sacred Heart anymore, he drops his mop and walks out of the hospital, never to be seen again.
• Secret Test of Character: Informs J.D. in the finale that the reason for all his pranks are because J.D. failed one in the Pilot. Turns out the penny in the door fell out of J.D.'s pocket accidentally and the Janitor saw it happen, but punished J.D. because he kept lying about it.
  Janitor: It was a test of character. You failed. And you lost out on a wonderful friendship.
• Sitcom Arch-Nemesis:
  • Declared a prank war on J.D., ever since the first episode when J.D. accidentally lodged a penny in the door.
  • To Kelso, when he's not bothering J.D. In these situations, the Janitor comes off as the sympathetic party, as Kelso more often than not actually did something to deserve it.
• Skewed Priorities: The most important part of his job, to him, is keeping his floors clean. This is an important job for a janitor, sure; but not at the expense of restrooms, trash, and keeping a sterile environment for patients.
• Small Name, Big Ego: Lampshaded in one episode when Carla flat out tells him he has delusions of grandeur. Deconstructed in "His Story III", which explains he acts this way because otherwise he doesn't feel important.
• Suddenly Bilingual: One episode shows that the Janitor is fluent in American Sign Language, but he never fully reveals how or why he learned it and it never comes up again.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: When it comes to how he treats J.D. At first it's just harmless pranks and some minor harrassment, or payback for J.D. being a jerk to him first. As the seasons went on, his actions escalated to kidnapping, abandoning J.D. in the wild on his own and several forms of assault that could have proven fatal. And he does this without remorse and it's Played for Laughs.
• Troll: He really seems to love messing with J.D.
• Ultimate Job Security: He never does his work, and is constantly pulling pranks or messing with people in other ways, to the extent that he trapped J.D. in a water tower for an entire day and got off totally scot-free. Of course, it turns out that the main reason for his security is because Dr. Kelso openly doesn't care what the hospital employees did as long as the money rolled in and he got to enjoy the perks of his job. Upon Kelso's retirement, he's replaced by Dr. Maddox, who actually acts like an administrator, having the Janitor fired on the spot when she sees him trip J.D. in the hallway.
• The Unfettered: He'll do just about anything to make J.D.'s life difficult. Case in point: in the season 4 finale, he goes so far as to take a bite out of his own laxative-filled pie in order to trick J.D. into thinking it's safe, ending with the two sitting side-by-side in the crapper:
  J.D.: Who would do this to themselves?!
  Janitor: Totally worth it.
• Working-Class Hero: He's regarded as one by the other custodians and support staff.
• Yank the Dog's Chain: In one episode, J.D suggests they don't always have to fight and could be friends. The Janitor sarcastically asks J.D if he wants to go to a baseball game, and after J.D storms off, the Janitor reveals he'd actually bought tickets.
• You Never Asked: When he reveals his real name (Glenn Matthews) to J.D. during the finale, he points out J.D. never actually asked what his name was in 8 years at the hospital.