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Squad 128

    Tropes that apply to entire team 
  • Badass Crew: They're SEMME'S best squadron. Best not to ask what that says about the rest.
  • Ragtag Bunch of Misfits: Their members include a ditz (who's faking it to avoid responsibility), a mind-wipe victim (who is also a ditz), a sociopath, a horndog, a Brit and Sal.
  • Two Girls to a Team: First, it's Joyce and Sal. Then, when Sal leaves, it's Joyce and Dina. Then, it's Joyce and Robin
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    David "Walky" Walkerton 

Wiigii!

  • Attractive Bent-Gender: To near-everyone's disconcertion, and Jason's utter horror, a gender-bent Walky looks exactly like Sal, but with shorter hair.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Walky is normally pretty laid-back and easy going. But when he gets angry, it's terrifying.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: One sip of beer causes Walky to pass out.
  • Catchphrase: Wiigii!
  • Didn't Want an Adventure: He planned to spend New Years 2000 just having a good time. Then he gets dragged into saving the world.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": He hates being called "Walky", preferring Walkerton. Because of a time when he and Joyce were abducted as children, and she called out that name to him when Head Alien tormented her to guilt an escaped Walky.
  • The Drag-Along: In the first arc, he's just the ditzy lab help, and has to be persuaded into help by Joyce.
  • Dude, Where's My Respect?: Even when he tries to be a responsible leader, the other SEMME agents laugh at him.
  • Half-Identical Twins: He's Sal's twin brother.
  • The Hero: He is overall the most important to the plot.
  • Idiot Hero
  • Messianic Archetype: Becomes this after he lets himself be killed by the martians in order to be resurrected in the cheese and save the world.
  • No-Sell: He can't be mind wiped, due to having it happen to him to many times in the past.
  • Obfuscating Stupidity: He acts dumber then he is to avoid responsibility. Joyce eventually tells him to cut it out, and while it does stick, some foolishness remains.
  • Odd Friendship: Seems to strike one up with Mike, somehow. Certainly he survives being Mike's roommate.
  • Red Eyes, Take Warning: His eyes glow red after Dina dies, and he's almost mind wiped.
  • She Cleans Up Nicely: Male version. Walky combing his hair, putting on a sweater, tieing his shoelaces and straightening his posture is something Dina really appreciates.
  • Took a Level in Badass: He takes several, going from the ditzy lab assistant to a full-on badass.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Nachitos (a parody of Doritos).
  • Unstoppable Rage: It's difficult to get past his shell and make him mad, but when you do… run.

    Sal Walters 

Moody, broody Southern-accented gal. Danny's first girlfriend, and enemy of windows.


  • Anti-Hero
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: By the Britjas, resulting in her nearly wiping out SEMME and the Aliens.
  • Broken Bird: Sal was constantly moved about in her childhood, and her mother wasn't remotely loving to her (on at least one occasion striking Sal), to the extent that Sal tried running away. Then Head Alien killed them, and rubbed it in Sal's face. Afterward she joined SEMME, but was forced to kill the man she loved. Then the Britjas got their hooks into her...
  • Can't Hold Her Liquor: Just like her brother. Possibly even less, given Walky remains conscious longer than she did.
  • Deuteragonist: Next to Walky has overall the most bearing on the plot.
  • Dramatic Entrance: She loves this trope. From the word of Willis himself:
    This is how Sal makes an entrance. Maximum damage. Explosions everywhere. Kablooey. She means business.
  • Fangirl: Of Pokémon, though she's not a fan of the Orange Islands arc.
  • Half-Identical Twins: She's Walky's twin sister.
  • Healing Factor: Possessed of one. Which is really convenient for those who want the fact they were drugging her kept hidden, since the needle marks fade away quickly.
  • Jerkass: Early It's Walky Sal. She does manage to mellow out, slightly, but then the brainwashing comes along, and then Linda Walkerton is made Big Boss...
  • Kill the Ones You Love: She shoots Tony dead in the first arc. Just to twist the knife further, the remake shows him breaking out of Head Alien's control just as she fires.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: During "Year Zero", she breaks the Head Alien's mind control device. Which wouldn't be a problem, were it not that it was the only way to turn the mind control off.
  • Not Good with People: Her mess of emotional issues mean Sal isn't too great at opening up to others. Or being around people in general.
  • Peek-a-Bangs: During her "Brainwashed and Crazy" phase.
  • Sanity Slippage: Part of aforementioned brainwashing.
  • Stealth Hi/Bye: She has a habit of disappearing when people aren't looking.
  • Team Mom: Briefly falls into it when trying to teach Joyce about the birds and the bees.
  • There Was a Door: She barely ever uses the door, preferring to enter through the window... or just crashing through the wall.
  • Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Tries to destroy half the continent, in an attempt to kill both the Aliens and the abductees together.

    Joyce Brown 

We are beautiful.

  • Action Girlfriend
  • The Aloner: Her cheerful personality makes her an outsider among most of Squad 128, at first.
  • Attractive Bent-Gender: Robin and Walky certainly thought so, at least.
  • BFG: She wields a massive laser cannon, it has a huge Knockback.
  • Break the Cutie: Being shown porn by the Head Alien sent her into a coma, and once she woke up the revelation of what happened was enough to make her wipe her mind.
  • Character Development: She goes from an unhinged stalker fundamentalist to a more rounded and stable person.
  • Determinator: Joyce is relentless, especially before character development sinks in.
  • The Ditz: Post-mind wipe. Not that she was a paragon of sanity beforehand, though. But when Jason tries telling her Sailor Uranus and Sailor Neptune are lesbians, none of what he's saying sinks in.
  • Fangirl: Going by her Halloween costumes, she's fond of Evangelion, and Avatar: The Last Airbender. She also likes watching Pokémon and Sailor Moon.
  • Good People Have Good Sex: Once she gets over her inhibitions, she and Walky tend to have a lot of difficulty keeping their hands off one another.
  • Happily Married: With Walky, eventually.
  • Innocent Blue Eyes: When the strips started getting colour, Joyce gained an incredibly bright blue set of eyes.
  • Literal Split Personality: Anti-Joyce, representing the parts of Joyce that she tries desperately to repress, set free by the Dup-o-Matic.
  • She Is All Grown Up: Implied by Joe, which he gives as one of the reasons he has difficultly being around her. The art style makes it difficult to tell, though.
  • Small Girl, Big Gun
  • Stalking Is Love: She originally believed this.
  • Stepford Smiler: During the earlier years at SEMME, she represses a lot of anger about her treatment at the hands of everyone else, finally letting loose when captured by the Head Alien.

    Jason Chesterfield 

The only non-abductee member of Squad 128, and a Britain with a questionable past.


  • Badass Longcoat: Starts wearing one after he leaves SEMME, and has to avoid people recognizing him.
  • Badass Normal: He's the one of the few SEMME agents that isn't an abductee.
  • Baleful Polymorph: Briefly, as a result of reality going all screwy.
    Bloody Hell! I've been turned into a fish!
  • Belligerent Sexual Tension: With Sal.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: None of his teammates like Jason very much.
  • Jerkass: Early, pre-character development Jason is... very unlikable. Very.
  • No Social Skills: His idea of consoling a distraught Walky? "Well, good luck." Real helpful there, Jason.
  • Only Sane Man: Of the entire squad.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: Wore a white dinner jacket, trousers and a bow tie for the first part of It's Walky.
  • The Stoic: Jason is in fact sitting on an awful lot of buried angst and suppressed feelings, he just doesn't let it show very often.

    Mike Warner 


  • Everyone Has Standards: Mike is an utter jerkass, but he does look horrified at some events, like Grace's death.
  • Heroic Comedic Sociopath: He remains a protagonist, despite going after puppies with hammers.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Mike actually did care about Dina, and her death shocks and saddens him
    • On a lighter tone, he's fond of Star Wars. Or at least Darth Vader (he admires the ability to choke people which his mind).
    • Get him drunk, and Mike becomes one of the friendliest people around.
    • During the Fans crossover, Mike starts a fight so Dina can get a DNA sample off the other-dimensional visitors.
  • Jerkass: Frequently insults and assaults people.
  • Odd Friendship: Strikes up one with Jason, mostly based around going to bars and getting drunk.
  • Token Evil Teammate: While not wholly evil, he is a jerk.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He once kicked a little girl, right in front of her parents.
  • Your Mom: One of Mike's more favoured insults. Hell, it's his last words as the Martians kill him.
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Indiana University Students

    Danny Wilcox 

    Joe Rosenthal 

Danny's best friend, Joe is a mechanical genius and is obsessed with sex.


  • Beard of Sorrow: He grows one after Rachel goes missing.
  • The Casanova: Oh so much, he manages to sleep with over 2030 women before settling down with Rachel.
  • Expy: By the time of Shortpacked!, he's essentially become Tony Stark.
  • Fanboy: Of Transformers, which he tries to hide during his time in college.
  • Gadgeteer Genius: It's his abductee power, he manages to build a working A.I, multiple giant mechs, and a hover board.
  • Kavorka Man: he's not unattractive but the way he talks to women should have gotten him rejected way more then he is.
  • Out of Focus: After Roomies ends, he disappears for a while, until Sal drags him into SEMME.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: Has a fondness for the Titanic soundtrack.
  • Staring Down Cthulhu: Stares down Sal, who at this point has the power to destroy half the continent. and asks if she's done yet, saying her mask has holes.

    Jennifer "Billie" Billingsworth 

  • Badass Normal: Billie has no superpowers, but a childhood fighting with Walky means she's pretty capable of holding her own in a fight against Sal.
  • Berserk Button: She hates her name. It's why she prefers to be called "Billie".
  • Bi the Way: Had a brief fling with Ruth.
  • Determinator: Her fight with Sal. Billie is, technically, hopelessly outclassed, but she refuses to give up at all, which persuades Sal to just give up and leave.
  • Happily Married: With Danny, as of Joyce & Walky.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Trains for months to be able to take on Sal.
  • Tsundere: Towards Danny.
  • Someone to Remember Him By: Named her second child, Steven, after Beef, one of her childhood friends.

    Mary Bradford 

  • Hate Sink: Is generally considered one of the most disliked characters in the Walkyverse, on account of her rude, haughty, hypocritical nature.
  • Holier Than Thou: Frequently lectures her "friends" about their mistakes, while ignoring her own failings.
  • Jerkass
  • Manipulative Bitch

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    Sarah Clinton 

  • Deadpan Snarker: Given she has to put up with pre-Character Development Joyce, it's no wonder.
  • Flat Character: For a long time, her only real characteristic is hating Joyce.
  • Jerkass: Even after Joyce becomes less unstable, Sarah still holds an irrational grudge against her, and is willing to blame her for the Soggie invasion.
  • Strawman: Her purpose, at least originally, was to be the counterpoint to Willis' fundamentalist ideals without any actual merit to her arguments.

    Howard Lesse 

  • Ascended Fanboy: Played With Howard is a huge sci-fi fan, in the end of It's Walky, he gets to team up with Joe, Danny and Rachel to take out the Martian mothership
  • Chew Toy: Nothing good ever happens to Howard.
  • Hypocrite: He claims he hates Star Trek: Voyager and anyone who watches it. Then he went and tried to kiss Kate Mulgrew...
  • Nerd: Encompasses his entire character. He is pretty much just there to be a nerd.

    Ruth Lesse 

Act with integrity, no regrets!

  • Back for the Finale: She briefly reappears when Walky dies at the Martian's claws.
  • Bi the Way: She was once in a relationship with a boy, but she's also kissed Billie.
  • Big Brother Instinct: She first appears to give Joe some payback for his abuse of Howard, by beating him up.
  • Broken Bird: Thanks to, among other things, her father's cheating on his mother, her boyfriend duping her for sex, and Walky being badly hurt by his abduction, she comes into the story very cynical.
  • Fiery Redhead: Not as fiery as her Dumbing of Age counterpart, but on occasion she has her moments.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Dies after stopping Danny from getting hit by a truck.
  • Improbable Weapon User: She once sent Joe flying by hitting him in the face with an orange. Which was, admittedly, still in her hand.
  • Killed Off for Real: Dies stopping Danny from driving into a truck.

Other Members of SEMME

    Big Boss 

Anthony McHenry, the first Big Boss of SEMME.

    Tony McHenry 


  • Berserk Button: Bringing up his mother (who he was misled into killing by Head Alien's mind games) is a bad idea.
  • Brainwashed: Has this happen to him several times.
  • Came Back Wrong: Head Alien brings him back using Martian tech, but uses his brainwashing to leave him in a state of perpetual rage. He does manage to snap out of it, though.
  • Dying as Yourself: Manages to break free of Head Aliens control long enough to save Jason during the final assault on SEMME
  • Go Out with a Smile: Does this right before his final death.
  • Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: He's got blonde hair, and when not brainwashed, is one of the nicer members of the team.
  • Laser-Guided Amnesia: Mere seconds after learning Walky accidentally killed his dad, he's zapped by the Britjas.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: Briefly, during the gender bender arc, partly because Walky looks a little too much like Sal.

    Linda Walkerton 

Walky and Beef's mother, and a former secret agent herself. Later on becomes the second Big Boss.


  • Identical Grandson: Aside from a few minor differences, such as skin-tone, she isn't too dissimilar from Sal.
  • Parental Abandonment: She gave Sal up for adoption, to draw attention away from Walky.
  • Parental Favoritism: She puts most of her attention onto Walky. Eventually, this causes Beef to turn on SEMME.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: Tries to be one as Big Boss. Actual success rate is... questionable.
  • Retired Badass: She used to be a secret agent, until an unfortunate incident forced her to retire.
  • Spy Catsuit: Wore one during her secret agent days. She even keeps some photos of it.
  • Unwitting Pawn: For the Britjas.

    Steven "Beef" Walkerton 

Grunt.


  • Face–Heel Turn: Betrays SEMME and joins the JFO at the end of the strip.
  • Made of Iron
  • Out of Focus: Despite being Walky's brother, he doesn't appear very often.
  • Super Strength: He's physically the strongest member of SEMME.
  • The Un-Favourite: His parents seem to focus more of their attention on Walky and Sal, which is part of the reason Beef turns traitor.
  • The Unintelligible: He only ever says "Grunt". Walky seems to understand him well-enough despite this.

    Professor Doc 

    Dina Sarazu 

  • Back from the Dead: At the very end of Shortpacked, thanks to a spatial anomaly.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Call dinosaurs "reptiles" near Dina, and you only have yourself to blame.
    • Likewise, dismissing her research as "just science" will set her off.
  • Bi the Way: Hinted at in an April Fool's Day Shortpacked strip, which shows Becky with a hand on Dina's shoulder.
  • Break the Cutie: The man she loves casually dumps her for another girl, she gets into an unhealthy relationship with an abusive man maintained only by severe amounts of alcohol, which doesn't last, and then when Joe arrives Dina finds herself becoming more and more obsolete and isolated. Then the Britjas attack, and Dina accidentally causes her own death in a Heroic Sacrifice, still thinking she was utterly useless.
  • Famous Last Words: "I'm sorry. This was the best I could do."
  • Nice Hat: Which she never takes off, except just before she dies.
  • Official Couple: With Walky.

    Alan Rees 
  • Badass in Distress: Kidnapped by the Head Alien, and held for questioning.
  • Heroic Sacrifice: Dies to remove the Head Alien from the Cheese.
  • The Men in Black: Calls himself this when he first meets Sal.
  • Mobile-Suit Human: He's a member of Head Alien's species acting as a human.
  • Mook–Face Turn: Started off as one of the Aliens. At some point before the series, he left and started working for SEMME.
  • The Smart Guy: Alan knows a lot about what's going on, probably more than anyone else. For example, he somehow knows how the Cheese's systems work.
  • Token Heroic Orc: The only genuinely good Alien.
  • Unexplained Recovery: The first arc of It's Walky has him being blown to pieces. Afterward, he reappears none the worse for wear.

    Squad 48 

A SEMME squad consisting entirely of women. Fit, attractive, sexually active women. Joe gets partnered with them after joining.Their members include: Grace, Mandy, Marcie, Toosie and Guns.


    Hoop 

An unusual SEMME agent


    Daisy 

  • Badass Gay: Walky offhandedly mentions she's gay when Joe joins up. Later on, Joe manages to use this to curry favours with her, promising to mention her to Squad 48.
  • Brainwashed and Crazy: Along with the rest of her squad, save Beef.
  • Heroic BSoD: She spends most of the final battle in one, after being made to kill Grace by the Britja brainwashing.
  • Mauve Shirt: She never gets much in the way of focus, but she is one of the most recurring SEMME agents. Which makes what happens to her more shocking.

    David Willis 

An abductee who keeps showing up through the story in the background. Eventually starts a webcomic called "Shortpants", and becomes rivals with Ethan Siegal.

  • Creator Cameo: He is the writer.
  • Recurring Extra: First he appears as Alex's roommate during Roomies, then an abductee in It's Walky.
  • Self-Deprecation: Shortpacked portrays him as a rampant egotist prone to covering anything he can find in self-advertisement, much to Ethan's annoyance.

Others

    The Cheese 

A mysterious superpowered being who takes no side in the conflict between SEMME and the Aliens


  • Badass Cape
  • Came Back Wrong: After the Britjas murdered him, Linda tried resurrecting him, but due to Dargon's interference, he wound up getting cast back through time into what eventually became the Cheese.
  • Physical God: He can hold people's souls within his eye.
  • Walking Spoiler: Any reveal about what the Cheese is gives away a large part of the finale.
  • Was Once a Man: He was once David Powers, Linda Walkerton's love interest.

    Rachel 

A cashier girl Joe repeatedly makes overtures towards, eventually turns out to be important.

  • Chekhov's Gunman: She initially appears in a runner of Joe being Joe at her. She returns in a big way in the finale.
  • Doppleganger: Some time after It's Walky ends, she gets replaced by an Alien.
  • The Lost Lenore: Becomes one for Joe, despite not being dead. Her disappearance upsets him massively.
  • Missing Mom: For Ultra Car, through Shortpacked.
  • One Steve Limit: There's a second Rachel, who's part of SEMME.
  • Wrench Wench: She and Joe design Ultra Car together, in the space of a few hours.

Aliens

    Head Alien 

I was planning on saying something evil and threatening, but I think my actions speak for themselves.


  • Bad Boss: He will kill minions for ruining the moment, and that's assuming he doesn't sacrifice them to the non-existent mercies of Sal.
  • Beware the Silly Ones: Make no mistake, the Head Alien is a goofball. He just also happens to be a cunning goofball.
  • Big Bad: Remains the most constant threat, if not necessarily always the most dangerous.
  • A God Am I: Declares himself to be God after taking over the Cheese.
  • The Chessmaster: Barely anything happens that Heady hasn't planned for, sooner or later.
  • Evil Is Hammy: Heady is probably the hammiest of characters, but his sheer over-the-top behaviour makes him very entertaining. Like, for example, showing up to taunt Walky in a personalised golf cart.
  • Evil Is Petty
  • In the Back: Courtesy of Sal.

     Monkey Master 


    Giant Mutant Frosted Honey Bun 

    Martians 

Jason's Fathers Organization

    Tropes Applying to the group as a whole 

    Dargon Chesterfield 

  • Archnemesis Dad: He's the father of Jason Chesterfield. However, they don't interact at any point during the story.
  • Evil Brit: Oh, yes.
  • Eyepatch of Power
  • Kick the Dog: He condemns an entire universe to a slow death out of sheer spite.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: Murdered by Penny after a scant few appearances. A flashback gives some more details on what he was like.

    Penny Worthington 

  • Arch-Enemy: Acts as this to Jason.
  • The Dragon: Acts as this to Dargon Chesterfield.
  • Dragon Ascendant:Becomes this after she shoots Dargon Chesterfield.
  • Enfante Terrible: A flashback shows she was always a psychotic maniac, even as a child, grinning madly as Linda Walkerton is brainwashed by the Britjas.
  • Eyepatch of Power: She steals Dargon's when she kills him. It comes in useful when one of her eyes is actually damaged in the final battle.
  • Insistent Terminology: She'd rather the organization's troops not be called "Stormtroopers".
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: Asks if anyone else would "like to be totally retarded" after Walky willingly gets his mind wiped.
  • Psycho Ex-Girlfriend: She and Jason dated during high school (emphasis on the psycho part)

    Britjas 

  • Badass Normal: Have no enhancements of their own, but can take on abductees and win.
  • Enemy Mine: Team up with SEMME to stop the Martians, after Penny and Dargon are dead.
  • Elite Mook: They are much more dangerous and competent then the Head Aliens forces.
  • Evil Brit: They're evil British ninjas.
  • Mook: For the JFO.
  • McNinja: A British variant.

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