- Badass Normal: Has no supernatural or extraordinary skills, yet gets along just as fine as the other characters.
- Cool Sword: A rectangular one.
- Knight in Shining Armor: In appearance, if anything.
- Series Mascot: Appears in most promotional material, and in the title screen.
- You Have Researched Breathing: Needs to be upgraded to even use his shield and sword (which he has from the beginning).
Creep A Crow
A living Scary Scarecrow with a watermelon for a head. When fully upgraded, is inmune to cobwebs, can kill every monster on-screen, and can jump over 1-tile holes.
- Dungeon Bypass: Minor example. His passive abilities allow him to ignore cobwebs (which usually stick the player in their place) and jump over 1-tile pits, enabling him to bypass some of the game's traps.
- Scary Scarecrows: Apart from being a scarecrow, his active ability allows him to scare every monster on screen, killing them.
A vampire. When fully upgraded, isn't attacked by bats, can turn into one at will, and can also turn into one twice to escape pits, should he fall in them.
- Classical Movie Vampire: Has the look of one, at least.
- Dungeon Bypass: His abilities revolve around this: Make him inmune to bats, turn into a bat and fly for a couple seconds, skipping over anything that might be in your way, and falling into a pit skips the segment you're in and takes you to the next.
- Our Vampires Are Different
- You Have Researched Breathing: You'd think a vampire would already come with the power of turning into a bat. You'd be wrong.
- Attack Drone: Always has at least one, although they disable traps instead of killing enemies.
- Artificial Limbs: Has a mechanical arm.
- Electronic Eyes: Possibly, though it may also be a...
- High-Class Glass
- Quintessential British Gentleman: His design certainly makes him appear as such.
A man wearing a golden mask. When fully upgraded, attracts coins to himself from 3 tiles away and can break open any onscreen chests.
- Glowing Eyes
- Golem: Described as one in his description.
- Playing with Fire: The entirety of his abilities revolve around this.
- Stuff Blowing Up: When his fire blast hits something, it explodes into a ball of flames.
A redheaded woman in a dress. When fully upgraded, makes falling platforms stay up indefinitely, and can push back the darkness.
- Friend to All Living Things: Her description calls her the "protector of life".
- Glowing Eyes
- Green Thumb: Uses plants to hold up platforms.
- Light 'em Up: Her active ability pushes back the darkness with a light ritual.
- Token Girl: The only female in the character lineup (up until Update 3).
A swashbuckling pirate. When fully upgraded, finds keys to open special chests with, can rescue his parrot (named Gem) to double every coin he gets, and can shoot monsters with a pistol to get more money.
- Badass Normal: Only has a flintlock pistol and a parrot as equipment, being a completely normal human being otherwise.
- Cast from Money: His pistol wastes 15 coins per shot if the bullet doesn't hit any enemy.
- Interchangeable Antimatter Keys: And you somehow use many of them to open a single lock.
- Money Spider: The only character for which this is in effect, as he gains 5 coins when he hits enemies (which can be amplified to 25 if accompanied by Gem).
- Pirate Booty: The locked chests count as this.
- Pirate Parrot: Gem.
An old, bearded man. When fully upgraded, randomly spawns portals from time to time and can stop time for a few seconds.
- Badass Beard
- Dungeon Bypass: The most straightforward example, as his portals warp him ahead for some considerable distance.
- Thinking Up Portals: His passive ability spawns portals from time to time.
- Time Master: Can stop time, and his description states he "solved the mysteries of (space and) time".
- Time Stands Still: His active ability.
Exactly who you'd expect. When fully upgraded, petrifies nearby monsters, isn't targeted by skeleton statues, and can "dodge" her way out of any death.
- Action Commands: Her dodging works like this, allowing her to potentially live forever if your fingers are quick enough.
- Awesome, but Impractical: Can theoretically live forever, but the window of time given to do the required Action Commands is pretty short, and the commands themselves get more complex after each "death".
- Glowing Eyes: Actually justified, as her stare is the source of her petrification power.
- Medusa: Of course.
- Snake People
- Taken for Granite: Obviously, does this to nearby enemies.
A living skeleton. When fully upgraded, can resist four hits of anything other than falling.
- Boring, but Practical: He can revive four times, but lacks any other skills.
- Dem Bones
- Made of Iron: As long as he's got at least one head, he can keep on going.
An electricity powered Robot. When fully upgraded, is inmune to electricity, has a battery life of 25 seconds (which he can recharge by absorbing electricity) and can utilize 15% of said battery to shoot a laser beam.
- Anti-Frustration Features: When playing as him, special, unavoidable electric traps appear every once in a while, which work as a quick battery recharge.
- The Cameo: Originally from one of Nitrome's other mobile games, Platform Panic.
- Cast from Hit Points: His laser is effectively this, as it cuts his battery life by 15% off its total.
- Non-Standard Game Over: If he runs out of battery, the screen will shut down and flash a "no battery" icon in red.