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Station Personnel

The Announcer

Played by: Brendan “Beej” Dery
He announces the intro and outro of each episode of Qwerpline.
Tropes associated with the Announcer:
  • Catchphrase: "You're listening to Qwerpline, here on QWRP FM!"
  • "Help! Help! Trapped in Title Factory!": One episode has the announcer held hostage at work by Joan until he can come up with a sponsor, eventually putting 'Joan' as the episode sponsor so he can leave.
  • Sublime Rhyme: With a few exceptions (see below), the sponsors that he announces are tongue twisters of this nature.
  • Subverted Rhyme Every Occasion:
    • "The Lougheed Tough Slough Plough." ("Dig a trough through your borough in no time at all with the Lougheed Tough Slough Plough! It does a thorough job!")
    • Additionally, the slogan(s) he gives each sponsor also rhymes with the sponsor name in most cases, except for the Concise Device whose slogan is just "It works!" at the beginning and "It still works!" at the end.

Graham "Big G-Money"

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px_g_money1_4.png
Played by: Graham Stark
The primary host of Qwerpline, generally acts as a Straight Man to the antics of the rest of the crew.
Tropes associated with Graham:
  • Berserk Button: Richter not doing his job. Edith notes that Graham has a vein that throbs on his forehead whenever he's talking to Richter.
    Graham: "Thank You Richter" is what I say at the end of a segment... to be polite...
    Edith: I admire how often you can say that when you clearly don't mean it.
  • Catchphrase:
    • Opens every episode with the phrase "Big G-Money here with A-Train - how ya doin', Alex?"
    • "Bring the kids", usually towards the end of an episode after announcing some local event. Generally that event is not suitable for children, which prompts some reaction from Alex.
  • Dumbass DJ: Inverted, if anything Graham is the sanest, most knowledgeable and reasonable person in town.
  • Not So Above It All: Despite usually being the most straightforward of the cast (Even more so than Alex), Graham gets really passionate about discussion involving parcel shipping services and the tracking information on online stores. To the point where Richter bringing this up as his reason (this week) he's not doing this job immediately makes Graham abandon any attempt to get traffic info to immediately join in on Richter's ranting. Alex gets more and more bewildered by this.
  • Oh, Crap!: Get those. Like the time where Richter claims he can do someone else's job blindfolded - which makes Graham immediately realize Richter has to be piloting his helicopter blindfolded. There's also the time he realizes the Prank Patrol's prank at the tree-lighting ceremony is about to kill several people.
  • Only Sane Man: Along with Alex.
  • Straight Man: From asking A-Train how he is each morning to introducing Derek or Richter to desperately trying to interview Nsburg inhabitants through the phone, Big G-Money spends most of his time setting up other people's jokes.

Aldersm'n Alex "A-Train"

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px_alex1.png
Played by: Alex Steacy
Graham's co-host on Qwerpline.
Tropes associated with Alex:
  • Angrish: After finally successfully renaming Lake Indianname and being forced to attend the ceremony, while wearing incredibly constricting ceremonial neckwear, he learns at the ceremony that he'd taken a wrong turn and just renamed a completely different body of water. His speech becomes an unintelligible storm of curses bleeped out by Gus.
  • Berserk Button:
    • Referring to Lake Anesh by its old name of "Lake Indianname" after Alex had it renamed.
    • The Secret Pipesmen's Light Rail project.
    • Derek and Richter in general. Especially the two's inability to do their jobs.
    • Getting re-elected against his will as Aldersm'n.
  • The Chains of Commanding: Alex really does not like being Aldersm'n of Therpston County. He gets annoyed whenever Graham calls him "Your Honor" (something Graham is legally bound to do).
    Alex: By the power imposed upon me by Therpston County...
  • Cluster F-Bomb: After learning that he hadn't actually renamed Lake Indianname and had instead renamed a completely different body of water. Not that you can hear him over Gus at the soundboard.
  • Dark Horse Victory: After he casually criticizes all of the candidates in a local election on-air for trying to fix things that aren't broke he gets voted into the office. He wasn't even running. He was then forced to take the position, even though he didn't want it.
  • Deadpan Snarker: His primary role is comment and snark upon what Graham or the station reporter / interviewees / guests / callers are saying. Graham is the one who asks questions, delivers news and announcements.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: When Alex learns that Richter is actually giving traffic updates... for his online stream, Alex walks off to Michael's Closet (which Michael uses a home inside the studio) to grab a bottle of 90 proof liquor.
    Graham: Alex you are crushing that bottle.
    Alex: Don't talk to me. I'm on the fast track to "not giving a shit".
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: A rare positive example. When Von Spront and Crinklestouf try to get him to award one of them the patent to a death ray/remote pie-heating laser, he realizes how disastrous either option would be and puts the issue through as much red tape as possible to keep either of them from getting it.
    • In a less positive (although not entirely negative) example, he acts as this to the Secret Pipesmen's attempts to set up a light rail. He doesn't seem to have anything against a light rail, but they only start lobbying him for permission after trying to kick him out of office.
  • Only Sane Man: Slightly less sane than Graham but still saner than the rest of the characters.
  • Permanent Elected Official: In the first episode of season 3, it turns out Alex abdicated as Aldersm'n, only to be re-elected in a landslide victory (against his own will) at 86% of the vote with 138% participation (They counted raccoons and allowed out of town visitors to vote). Based on him being the first Aldersm'n to win re-election and Richard Therpston having been Aldersm'n for 50 years, it's safe to assume the position permanent unless the Aldersm'n dies or abdicates.
  • Precision F-Strike: Prone to those with some of the more insane correspondents.
    "For fuck's sake Richter!"
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: Something of a Running Gag since he became the Therpston County Aldersm'n.
    Graham: I don't think that's legal.
    Alex: Aldersm'n!
    Graham: ...okay.
    • Even before he became Aldersm'n, he wasn't paying municipal property taxes.
  • Stealth Insult: Prone to those towards people he doesn't like.
  • Universally Beloved Leader: Much to his despair, the (non pipesmen) people of Nsburg absolutely adore him as Aldersm'n. To the point that when he failed to rename Lake Indianname to Lake Anesh (accidently renaming the wrong body of water), they got together and renamed the actual Lake to Lake Anesh 2.

Derek

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px_derek1.png
Played by: Brendan “Beej” Dery
The station's summer intern. Serves as an on-site reporter conducting interviews on local news items.
Tropes associated with Derek:
  • Ambiguously Jewish: According to Graham and Alex he attends synagogue, but given his personality it's unclear whether or not he knows what that means.
  • Ascended Extra: Derek was only intended to be a bit character for the first episode. The cast loved him so much he became essentially the third main character.
  • Catchphrase: "I'm Nineteen!"
  • Chick Magnet: Derek is surprisingly adept at picking up dates - to Alex, Graham, and Edith's surprise. It's implied he's something of a Brainless Beauty; in the first example he was running and the crew commented on his good cardio, while in the second the girl calls him "surprisingly cut".
    • When Derek catches a cold, his newfound deep voice causes him to receive all sort of attention. Him complimenting a barista's hair causes her to turn red and almost faint. Kelsey, the girl he's been flirting with, is now inviting herself to his house to spend more time with him.
    • He's almost driven to tears in relief when he meets Beatrice Landstraad and she doesn't find him attractive and make a pass at him. Beatrice then yells at the listeners to stop sexually harassing him.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Among other things he tries to interview a beaver, brings dead raccoon to the recycling center, thinks seitan refers to Satan, and forgets that he's Jewish, not Christian.
  • Comic-Book Time: Derek is always 19, no matter how many years he's been working at the station. He's also always the summer intern, despite the season.
  • Determinator: As much as he screws up his field pieces, he's completely set on doing whatever he thinks his job is. Sometimes this makes the problem worse.
    Derek: You sent me here to get the story, Alex! The only way to get the story is to live the story! And I'm not dead yet!
    Alex: No story from you is worth more than a thousand dollars!*
  • Ensemble Dark Horse: In-universe the hosts are astonished to learn that while they don't like him, he has a significant fanbase amongst their listeners who got upset when he missed an episode.
    Graham: Give us back our intern! People are... startingly upset.
  • Even the Guys Want Him: When Derek catches a cold, his newfound deep voice (and already good looks) cause one of his fellow players at Friday Night Pog to start sweating when Derek accidentally brushes against his hand mid play. The player's girlfriend gave Derek a dirty eye over the incident.
  • Hidden Depths:
    • Despite his general lack of any common sense, Derek will sometimes show deep knowledge about very specific trivia, like Qing Dynasty Taiwan, plutonium production, or the history of Malta.
    Derek: For a place called 'Formosa Palace' it's a really loose interpretation of what it was like during the Qing Dynasty...note 
    • Derek interviews a despondent Alex who has moved on a barge on Lake Anesh to avoid working as Aldersm'n. When Alex says he'll do anything anything to get out of his interview, Derek replies "What about your job?". Alex is impressed by how Derek maneuvered him.
  • Insistent Terminology: He's nineteen and therefore not a "boy".
  • Insult Misfire: Derek will sometimes inadvertently do this to Alex' Stealth Insult. Though is almost always is a result of not understanding the insult rather than wit on Derek's part.
  • Literal-Minded: Derek is prone to this. Alot. For example, when an interviewee mentions how he built this place "with his own two hands", Derek asks him how he drove in all the nails without any hammers.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Is always referred to as the station's summer intern despite the summer ending.
  • Oblivious to Love: Kaylee is pretty much throwing herself at him when she appears and whenever she's mentioned. Derek doesn't seem to realize it, even after they went on a date (thanks to a miscommunication he thought she just wanted to see a town council session and went with her because his press pass gave them access).
  • Older Than They Look: A Running Gag is that he's frequently mistaken for a little boy, despite being 19.
    • Inverted in episode 8, the High School president calls him "old man" prompting Derek to reply "I'm Nineteen!" which makes the student reply "Exactly!".
  • Only One Name: He's only ever called Derek or by his position (Summer Intern). During the Aldrsm'n debate, Edit refers to him formally "Mr. Derek". Even his father is only ever referred by his relationship to Derek and not his last name.
  • Something Only They Would Say: When Derek's voice changes, Alex asks a bunch of question to determine he's Derek or not. Note that Derek fails to answer any of the questions and that in turn proves it's actually Derek.
    Alex: "Tell me what Gus' new tattoo say?"
    Derek: "I don't know, I can't read Japanese."
    Alex: "Oooh, Okay, Possible Derek. How many nipples does Michael O'Leary have?"
    Michael: "The answer, gentle listener, may surprise you."
    Derek: "Oh come on! Everybody knows that! He won the contest!"
    Alex: "Okay... How about this: What does the poster in the recording studio say?"
    Derek: "That's a dirty trick! You know I can't say those 8 words on radio!"
    Alex: "AAAAAH! IT'S DEREK!"
  • Stealth Insult: On occasion, and to great effect considering his demeanor. Although he might just be unaware that what he's saying could be read as an insult.
    Ralph: Hello, I'm Ralph, I'm a member of the secret pipesmen and a member of the Nsburg geological society.
    Richard: And I'm Richard Therpston III, as you know damn well you sniveling little cur!
    Derek: Thank you Ralph and Dick.
  • Phrase Catcher: "He's Nineteen!"
  • Pintsize Powerhouse: Apparently small enough to be mistaken for a child but nonetheless "surprisingly cut". One interviewee once referred to him as "small yet muscular boy". It's mentioned in the second season that he does crossfit and drags tractor tires. In season 3 he crushes a pipe for a pneumatic system and bends one of the metal funicular doors, both times barehanded.
  • The Rival: Season 2 introduces Beatrice Landstraad of Raster Heights Academy, who openly campaigns for Derek's spot as QWRP summer intern, at one point showing up at one of Derek's assignments so she can show him up at his own job. She also has aspirations to become Alex's rival, outright stating that she hopes to work with and someday replace him both as radio host and Aldersm'n. Derek's mostly just confused by the whole thing.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: He's convinced that he's a feared hard-hitting reporter who asks gotcha questions. The only person to ever actually be intimidated by him was the time he interviewed himself.
  • Vetinari Job Security: Seems to benefit from this. Once he chides a guest saying they must following the interview format or "They will fire [him]". Alex replied:
    Alex: (muttering) What that we could...
  • "Well Done, Son" Guy: Inverted. It's somewhat implied Derek's dad utterly disappointed by how idiotic Derek is, but Derek is completely blind to that fact, and is prone to quoting his dad no matter how poorly it reflects on him.
    Derek: My dad doesn't like it when I buy Calendars too early in the year. He says it leads to "Bad Planning".
    Graham: Was he by chance glaring at you when he said "Bad Planning"?
    Derek: Nah he just sort of looks off into the distance. Like he's sad.

Richter Hammockslam

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px_richter_hammockslam1.png
Played by: Ian Horner
The station's traffic reporter onboard the QWRP traffic qwopter.
Tropes associated with Richter:
  • Cloudcuckoolander: Like Derek, Richter is peculiar. Unlike Derek, his peculiarities are mostly in his completely avoiding actually giving a traffic report and his utter contempt for people on the ground.
  • A God Am I: On the annual "Car-Free Day" in downtowns Nsburg, Richter (ignoring what day it is due to not reading his emails), flies his chopper to do his job for once, and assumes the lack of cars means everyone's been raptured & the pedestrians are scavengers, and he inside the chopper is like a god to this town, who should be "rightfully his".
    • Graham once segues to Richter by saying "speaking of a man in the sky who judges you".
  • Comically Missing the Point: Richter does this all the time. One instance involves Richter having stowed himself in a cargo drone going to Dubai. It's pointed out that Richter's added weight might mean the plane will run out of fuel. Richter tells the cast "Abdul from the UAE Air traffic" is what's patching him through to QWRP. When asked why Abdul is doing this, Richter shrugs it off as "A dying man's last wish." Not understanding that Abdul was referring to him, Richter adds "My condolences to Abdul's widow and his family."
  • Insane Troll Logic: Prone to this, often as deliberate trolling, so he doesn't have to do his job.
    Graham: You don't just get to make up your own no-fly zones.
    Richter: I'm the one in the helicopter, you're the one with the microphone.
    Graham: Richter you also have a microphone.
    Richter: Game, set and match Richter. Back to you Graham.
    • Exemplified when Graham argues that Richter selling himself as 'traffic reporter extraordinaire' may be grounds for false advertising.
    Richter: Graham, have you ever heard me give a good traffic report?
    Graham: I'd argue you'd have to actually give a traffic report for it to be good.
    Richter: Then what are your qualifications to judge on the quality of my traffic reports? QED!
  • Improbable Piloting Skills: Say what you will about Richter's insanity, the man has to be a gifted pilot as he has piloted his helicopter without crashing it:
    • While hovering 3 feet off the ground on the highway.
    • While hanging outside the helicopter, and reaching through the windows for the controls.
    • While blindfolded.
    • While drunk.
    • While it's full of dogs (Which he was throwing out the windows).
    • While streaming.
    • While brewing craft beers.
    • He's also taught a young girl to pilot the helicopter.
    • He's successfully landed the copter in the middle of a busy beer festival, through the open roof, landing atop the 1:1 reproduction of the town hall (complete with helipad) while having locked himself out of the controls and while drunk. This earned him a bunch of applauds from all present. Turns out Richter programmed the copter to land automatically using gyro stabilization when it ran out of fuel.
  • It's All About Me: Richter does only what Richter wants - most of the time he fails to actually deliver traffic reports, and the few times he does, he did so because it's convenient for him (to avoid having to fly over the corn maze, and as part of his election campaign). Otherwise everything Richter does is motivated by his own self-interest and his own entertainment. He also considers the sky to be his, and will shoot at drones for invading "his domain".
  • Jerkass: Richter has mostly disdain for pretty-much everyone else in the town.
  • Kid Sidekick: A young girl called Joy occasionally joins him in the helicopter and helps with whatever randomness Richter has decided to do today. It should be noted that Joy was originally someone Richter kidnapped because it was Take Your Daughter To Work Day and Richter doesn't have any kids of his own.
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: While he's always the traffic reporter, Richter is always working on new side gigs to line his wallets. Running a pet shop, brewing craft beers, running a live stream, sports reporter (it wasn't a job he was given by the radio), delivery service, passenger service / human trafficking investigation and Fortune Teller. Note that he runs all of these businesses from the copter. Graham suspects that at this point traffic reporting is technically his side gig.
    Graham: Wait, what are we doing that isn't traffic today?
  • No Indoor Voice: Has to shout to be heard over the noise of the helicopter (or fan boat), but continues to shout even when he's broadcasting from a hang glider.
  • Noodle Incident: Whatever he did to cause the Nsburg Court System to have "The Hammockslam Defense" on record (and declared unusable) is this. Given the context it's brought up, it apparently involved a lot of substance use.
  • Oh, Crap!: Is a routine cause of them, usually because of his Improbable Piloting Skills.
  • Running Gag: Richter never delivers a traffic report, unless it gets him out of doing something he doesn't want to do or he can use it to his own profit as part of some side venture (Running for office, trying to become a streaming media sensations). This becomes a running joke in episode 20, where Graham replies to Richard Therpston asking him "You know what traffic in this city is like?" with "You'd be surprised how little I know about traffic." and later asking Richter what is it they are talking about that "isn't traffic". The QWERPLINE office has a betting pool regarding how long Richter can go without giving traffic advice (Edith's bet is 4 months, because she's an optimist). The Secret Pipesmen install a pneumatic system for deliveries across the city because the mail cannot be trusted because no one in town knows what traffic conditions are like.
  • Too Dumb to Live: In one episode, he flies the traffic helicopter over a motordrome while blindfolded (because he asserts he can do Chet's job blindfolded - turns out he can't as he can't see the race). In another, he hovers 3 feet over the highway causing a giant traffic jam. In yet another, he takes up craft brewing... quite literally: He brews alcoholic beverages (and drinks them) inside his helicopter, while it's flying, with Joy piloting.
    • Season 2 continues this trend, including locking out the controls (so he wouldn't fly drunk) while at three thousand feet (because he was worried the copter would be stolen), and then suspending a car under his used military surplus cargo chopper by a single cable.
  • Troll: Unlike Derek whose... misadventures can be blamed on his stupidity, it's often implied that Richter is perfectly aware of what he's doing and just doing it on purpose to annoy or out of boredom or out of a desire for a quick buck.
    Richter: (Richter is dropping 1000 eggs from his Helicopter) Anyway, I can't hear you (Graham) over the sound of these eggs dropping!
    Alex: HE RESPONDED TO YOU. HE CAN CLEARLY HEAR US. HE'S DOING THIS ON PURPOSE!
    Richter: No Alex, it's just the kind of camaraderie that forms after working together for a lifetime.
    Alex: You've worked here for 4 years and every day has been an indescribable pain.
    Richter: Indescribable like the sight of these eggs plummeting towards the ground!
    • Alex later admits that knowing Richter's been doing his stuff on purpose all along is sort of liberating.
  • Vetinari Job Security: Probably even more so than even Derek. Derek at least tries to do his job, mostly failing through incompetence. Richter avoids doing his job on purpose, and uses station property for his various schemes and side gigs. Furthermore he claims his contract forces Graham to give him 2 minutes of air time twice per day meaning Graham can't just hang up on him to cut him short.

Edith Slump

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/300px_edithslump1.png
Played by: Kathleen De Vere
The station's arts and culture reporter. Also the Harvest Festival Princess.
Tropes associated with Edith:
  • Always Second Best: She can only ever be second place in the Harvest Festival Queen contest (And thus is Harvest Festival Princess) because the number 1 position, Harvest Festival Queen, is a hereditary monarchy. It's mentioned she might get it if the current Queen fails to produce heirs.
  • Comically Missing the Point: When filling in for the sports reporter she dryly reads of the match-ups and results, skipping through all the commentary notes. The entire segment became "Team A played and lost, team B played and lost, team C played and lost...".
  • The Comically Serious
  • Deadpan Snarker: Especially towards Alex.
  • Flat Joy: Edith is, at least on paper, a very happy person with a very fulfilled life. You'd just not notice based on her tone of voice.
  • Geeky Turn-On: Listening to a poet read his work has her nearly throwing herself at him (which confuses the hell out of him). Alex complains that the window to the interview room is actually fogging up.
  • Little "No": Always gives this when Graham asks her if there's anything else going on in the arts.
  • Reflexive Response: When she ends up doing the sports segment rather than the arts, she says "Welcome to the sporting arts".
  • The Stoic: She speaks in a droning, emotionless monotone.
    • In episode 7 she gets put in charge of moderating the debate for a local election. She's the only one with the patience to deal with the 67 insane candidates for 9 days without snapping.
    • She actually seems to have a more active social life than anyone else on the crew, oddly enough. Plus she was clearly charismatic enough to win Harvest Princess.
    • She maintains her monotone even as she's encouraging her nephew to kill his competitors during a sporting event.
    Rowan. Rowan. Grab the spear with both hands and thrust with all your hate.
  • That Makes Me Feel Angry: She frequently mentions experiencing intense emotions of one kind or another, but her tone never changes.
  • They Call Me MISTER Tibbs!: She informs Justice Zeff that it's "Princess Slump to you".

Chet Buntsman

Played by: Ian Horner
The station's initial sports reporter.
Tropes associated with Chet:
  • The Heckler: During the town hall debate, when Edith announces the next person to talk is Coach McFeels, Chet heckles her from the gallery- it's implied he's done so every time McFeels' was speaking.
    Edith: Up next we have local coach Melissa McFeels.
    Chet: EAT A DICK SANDWICH MCFEELS!
    Edith: Security, can we have Mr. Buntsman removed from the gallery... again.
    Chet: (audibly being dragged out) People need to know the truth! The truth about what shit heel McFeels is. Get your hands off me!
  • Out of Focus: Due to the high turnover rate of sports reporters he quickly drops out of the show.
  • The Rival: He led the Nsburg Talcum Puffs to victory in the last championship, but he was sacked as coach due to being too sensitive (and spending most games crying). He's since had it in for the new Coach, McFeels.

Sadie Casperson

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
The station's weather reporter.
Tropes associated with Sadie:
  • Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Despite her quirks and often unusual weather forecasts, she actually understands meteorology. The fact that her forecasts are often barely useful is presumably more a symptom of Nsburg rather than Sadie herself.
    • At one point she explains that her forecasts consisting of a full week of the same weather with one day's exception is due to a nearby mountain range creating incredibly consistent climate from week to week.
  • Casual Danger Dialogue: She gives out a tornado warning in a completely non-plussed manner, and refuses to give details as she treats it as a minor thing.
  • Characterization Marches On: She initially just uses more vaguely Christian-themed interjections than usual, but by a few appearances later the religious overtones are played up considerably.
    • After an extended absence she returns with an obsession with traveling that didn't exist in earlier appearances.
  • Comically Missing the Point: Jewelsburg has a vegan district, so Sadie adds 'Vega' to her list of future vacation destinations.
  • Department of Redundancy Department: The weather in Nsburg seems to always be identical for every day in a particular week, but Sadie tends to still go through the days of the week one at a time, finding a different synonym for each day.
  • Running Gag: In every appearance after her absence she's just returned from vacation.
  • Token Religious Teammate: Believes that the heavy rains represent divine retribution for Nsburg. Not for anything specific mind you, just in general.
    • She's also known for her long religious expletives.
      Sadie: "Sweet Baby Jesus and Joseph and Mary!"
      Graham: "Oh, The whole family is here."
    • She also attended a sleepover at the Vatican, something that is apparently allowed but "only if you're very pious!"
    • She seems to believe everyone is Christian. Upon giving a weather report after a trip to India, she says farewell with "Jesus be with ya, or as they say in India, Jesus be with ya, but in one of their local languages."
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: Originally she had the same accent as everyone else in the studio. In episode 19 she returned from a long absence with a new accent that drifts somewhere between Fargo and a Sarah Palin imitation, ooh golly.

Gus

The station's technical expert.
Tropes associated with Gus:
  • Evil Has a Bad Sense of Humour: While not necessarily 'evil' per se, Gus is kind of a Jerkass and he tends to play comedy noises at the worst times, like during a discussion of the sacred holiday of Yo Mamma's Day, or right after the death of Aldersm'n Richard Therpston.
  • He Who Must Not Be Heard: We never actually hear him say anything, just Graham and Alex reacting to things that he's done. Unless he is the Announcer (see above). He seems to communicate entirely in soundboard effects.
  • Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: Seems to enjoy causing problems for Graham and Alex.
    • He's the one who keeps putting through calls to the station, forcing Graham and Alex to talk to various residents of Nsburg without any sort of preparation.
    • Turns out he's Lorna Schlitzwhistle's cousin and keeps giving her the station phone number, so she can keep calling Alex and Graham, no matter how the number gets changed.
  • Sound-Effect Bleep: He's responsible for these starting in season 2.

Michael O'Leary

Played by: Brendan “Beej” Dery
The station's third Sports reporter, now promoted to business reporter.
Tropes associated with Mike:
  • Character Development: In his first appearance he was practically a straight expy of Perd from Parks and Recreation. In later appearances he developed his own set of quirks.
  • Hollywood Healing: He somehow survived his exposure to the highly radioactive substance that Darren von Spront brought with him into the studio, seemingly completely unharmed.
  • One-Steve Limit: Averted - there's another Michael O'Leary in Nsburg, no relation.
  • Running Gag: He tends to overly describe things, which Alex dislikes, and Michael keeps having to remind Alex that radio listeners cannot see what's going on in the studio.
  • Triple Nipple: Implied to have more than 2 nipples. He mentions that the answer to "How many nipple does Michael O'Leary have?" may surprise the listener. Derek mentions that Michael's number of nipples won him "the contest".
  • Supreme Chef: Michael makes some sous-vide cooking with dry-aged meats in his free time. While living in the studio closet formerly occupied by Muriel.
    • One non-canon Desert Bus episode implies his cooking skills grant him a lot of visitors. That morning alone he'd had Richter over for breakfast and Graham over for brunch.
  • The Stoner: O'Leary is always very calm and laid back, and speaks kind of slowly and hazily. He's also totally cool with living in a closet in the studio. The guy's probably got to be on something.
  • Verbal Tic: Michael over-enunciates all his words.

Muriel

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
An old woman kept around in the studio to settle disputes between the co-hosts for some reason.
Tropes associated with Muriel:
  • Black Comedy: She was kept locked in a closet in the recording studio. Incidentally, after she left, the closet went to Mike O'Leary. Apparently it's actually just a really small apartment.
  • Put on a Bus: After the events of the Nsburg Deed Lottery, Muriel ended up living in a fancy house outside of town.
  • The Un-Favourite: She was the only mother whom nobody remembered to do anything for on Yo Momma's Day.

Joan

https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/screen_shot_2019_10_27_at_110353_pm.png
Only known photo.
The station manager of QWRP. While not heard, has gone from being mentioned off-handedly in season one to a presence in the studio and show during season two.
Tropes associated with Joan:
  • Berserk Button:
    • Generally speaking, all Joan seems to care about is making sure the radio station keeps operating and sticking to its schedule, which she enforces with a red light. She only takes action when something poses a threat to QWRP's continued functionality, such as Derek using up their budget in the escape field.
    • Hosting a pirate radio station on the QWRP frequency would also seem to be this; instead of just shutting down DJ Whitebeard's signal, she actively pursues him on foot and by Qwopter.
  • Determinator: Shades of this. When a pirate radio tries to hijack QWRP's radio signal, Joan heads out and pursues the fleeing car by foot. Alex outright compares her to the T-1000. When the car escapes, she takes the Qwopter with Joy piloting to pursue. She also at one point locks the announcer in the recording booth until he records a new sponsor message.
  • The Faceless: In the sole artwork we have of her, from the ad spots in "Nsburg Stock Exchange", she's depicted as this.
  • The Ghost: In the first season, where she's mentioned off-hand no more than a couple of times.
  • The Voiceless: In season two, where she's apparently present in studio and reacting to the antics of her employees despite not being heard in any way, shape or form.
  • Not So Above It All: Despite arguably being the sanest member of the QWRP staff, Joan remains proof that "sane" is a relative term with this lot. Her activities have included:
    • Being willing to drive through the fence of Farmer Bumper's escape field to retrieve Derek (arguably because Bumper charged by the hour and Derek was putting it on station accounts)
    • Calling the National Guard on Richter for locking himself out of the Qwopter's controls (on purpose) while at three thousand feet (so the Qwopter wouldn't be stolen), followed by attempting to blame said call on Jimmy Jams Afternoon Jams and the Prank Patrol when the Richter situation ends without incident.
    • Pursuing DJ Whitebeard for hijacking QWRP's frequency for his broadcast, first on foot and later by air via the Qwopter (with Joy piloting; Richter was piloting something else that week).
    • Locking the announcer in the recording booth until he finished his advertisement spots.
  • Only Sane Man: Of the staff of QWRP FM, above even Graham and Alex. Naturally, this makes her a...
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: In the sense that she lets everyone get away with a surprising amount of shenanigans without interfering. When she does interefere, or feels, shall we say, slighted by outside parties, you get the list of examples under Not So Above It All.
  • Scary Shiny Glasses: The sole detail breaking up her shadow-induced case of The Faceless are these.

Montgomery Kone

'''Played by: Brendan “Beej” Dery
QWRP's now most consistent sports reporter and one-time sideball player.
Tropes associated with Montgomery:
  • Hidden Depths: He has an interest in the history of flight (particularly Nsburg's famous air disasters) and has a pilot's license, although he seems to mix up planes and helicopters.
  • Put Me In, Coach!: He's always dreamt of being drafted into a sideball game and thinks of it as the start of his sports career. This is despite the fact that the drafting process is completely random.
  • The Voiceless: In his first 'appearance'. Montgomery is drafted into the sideball game he's covering and hands Derek his phone, so despite Derek having the day off he ends up covering sports anyway. He speaks in later appearances.

Recurring Nsburg Residents

Officer Steve

Played by: Ian Horner
A member of the Nsburg Police Department
Tropes associated with Officer Steve:
  • Loophole Abuse: Warns people that they are about to break the parking time limit... So they should drive out and back in to reset their timer.
  • Obstructive Bureaucrat: After the case of the missing potholes he has too much time on his hands and starts strictly enforcing minor infractions just for something to do.
  • Oddly Small Organization / Always on Duty: He seems to be the only officer of Nsburg PD, at least the only one who does anything. That said, he thinks Graham and Alex are also officers in the first episode, so there are presumably a few others.

Lorna Schlitzwhistle

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
Local hippy and bee keeper concerned about the effects of the WeeFees (WiFi). She is Gus's cousin and as a brief stint as the station's business reporter when Michael is off sick, before eventually getting hired as the station's Health Correspondent.
Tropes associated with Lorna
  • Cloudcuckoolander: The woman believes Wi-Fi is some kind of toxic substance made out of demons.
  • Granola Girl: Who uses healing crystals to try and heal her bees from the effect of the WeeFees demons, and uses dreamcatchers to try and block WeeFee signals.
  • Malicious Misnaming: She constantly misnamed Graham and Alex, calling the former Grant, Gort or Gruntle, and calling Alex Alec, Allan or Albert. Even when she joins the station and they are her co-worker. She clearly can get everyone else's names correct so it's clearly done on purpose because they do not like her.
  • Nepotism: Gus keeps putting her through because she's his cousin. Whether this is as a favor to her or to torment Graham and Alex is unclear.
  • New-Age Retro Hippie: She likes healing crystals and dreamcatchers, and considering the way she talks it's entirely possible she spends most of her time stoned.
  • Shameless Self-Promoter: She's constantly plugging in her dream catchers, crystals, and Etsy store.
  • Right for the Wrong Reasons: Lorna thinks homoeopathic medicine is hooey because it dilutes the whacky alternative medicine (Bee Venom) she does believe in
  • Single-Issue Wonk: Her obsession with fighting the WeeFees and the supernatural.
  • Unfortunate Names: Graham refuses to call her by her last name, which Alex calls him out on as it's too familiar a tone to use with a caller.

Coach Melissa McFeels

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
The coach of the Nsburg Talcum Puffs and the Literal Tigers.
Tropes associated with Melissa
  • Genki Girl
  • Meaningful Name: She's called McFeels and basically all her dialogue about encouraging people to do their best and feel good about it. She even elicits an emotional reaction from Edith Slump!
    McFeels: Good job Edith! You're really giving it 110%. Such a team player!
    Edith: (In her usual monotone) It's the first time anyone told me that. I am overcome with emotions.
  • Misplaced Kindergarten Teacher: When running for alderman she gives her campaign speeches as if she was giving her teams a pep talk, saying that everyone should pitch in and give 110%.
  • Early-Installment Weirdness: In the first episode, where she's only mentioned and not seen, Chet Buntsman seems to be under the impression that Coach McFeels is a man.
  • The Rival: To Chet Buntsman

Kendra Tiltington

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
Director of the Nsburg Recycling Centre.
Tropes associated with Kendra:
  • Angrish: Descends into incoherent ranting when she learns that, in order to dump their non-recyclable rubbish at her recycling centre, the Nsburg residents have been driving past the actual rubbish dump.
  • Meaningful Name: The LoadingReadyRun crew are quite fond of "tilting" as a slang term for losing one's temper, so it makes sense that Kendra Tiltington would be constantly infuriated by the stupid recycling habits of the Nsburg townsfolk.
  • Paper-Thin Disguise: Her identity as the "Masked Raccoon". She mimics Sandra Brentmoore's voice, then tries to mimic Rosemary Saltsmith when unmasked, but as she obsesses over Nsburg's trash and mentions working "near the recycling center". Sandra immediately realizes who it is. For added fun all three characters are voiced by Kathleen so she's playing someone trying to mimic the made up voice of another of her characters. Her identity is so obvious that Derek of all people figured it out - just everyone doesn't listen to him so no one noticed.
  • Only Sane Woman: Kendra is the only person in town who understands that live raccoons and buckets of razor blades do not count as recyclable items.
    • Since she intially doesn't know about the Nsburg dump, it's possible this is because she's from out of town.

Richard Therpston III

Played by: Alex Steacy
Grandson of the late Aldersm'n Richard Therpston, and member of the Secret Pipesmen.
Tropes associated with Richard Therpston III:
  • Evil Brit: Speaks like an English aristocrat, and is a total Jerkass who wants to rule the county.
  • Jerkass: Richard hates everyone and shows it.
  • Single-Issue Wonk: All he cares about is the Pipesmen's light rail train project.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Nobody actually seems to care about the fact he's the grandson of the previous Aldersm'n except for Richard himself.
  • Unexplained Accent: From his voice you'd think he was a bitter old Englishman, but he's actually a Therpston county resident in his early twenties.

The jam crone

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
An immigrant who makes and sells jam (and aspic).
Tropes associated with the jam crone:
  • Foreign Queasine: Makes her jam according to "old country recipe". The blackberry jam, for example, is made out of ash (blackberry ash, but still). Her aspic also contains ash as a major ingredient. The peach jam is made out of centipedes (although oddly enough it's the only one that tastes like what the name says).
  • Funny Foreigner: Much hilarity ensues from her "old country" traditions. She refuses to name her country of origin, and some of the "old country recipes" are from different "old countries".
  • No Name Given: When Graham tried to prompt her as to what her name was, she simply answered that her name was hers. Unless "Mine" is actually her name.
  • Non-Indicative Name: None of her jams actually contain the ingredient they are named after.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: Speaks with a kind of generically Slavic voice. Directly asking her where she's from doesn't help.
    The jam crone: "Old country!"
    Graham: "Which old country?!"
    The jam crone: "Mine!"

The Dogeman

A mythological creature said to haunt the outskirts of Nsburg. Only appears in the non-canon episodes done during Desert Bus for Hope.
Tropes associated with the Dogeman:
  • Brick Joke: The live Qwerpline during Desert Bus 2017 is meant to have an interview with the Dogeman, but he never shows up. An hour and a half after Qwerpline's over the Dogeman rushes into shot in full costume holding a clock. When the crew tells him he's late, he realizes he's holding the clock upside down and dejectedly walks off.
  • Cannibalism Superpower: Steals the powers of that which he consumes. Eating Richter allows him to fly the QWRP traffic qwopter.
  • Cryptid Episode: Only appears in the non-canon Desert Bus episodes, although he's mentioned as a fictional character in one of the canon ones.
  • Speak of the Devil: According to legend saying his name three times causes him to appear.
  • Wolf Man: A humanoid with a dog's head.

Joy

Played by: Kathleen De Vere
A young girl who was visiting the studio on "Bring your child to work" day, whom Richter kidnapped and took along his helicopter. The two get along and she looks to him as a father figure.
Tropes associated with Joy:
  • Disappeared Dad: She lives only with her mother. She regards Richter as her dad, and she only mentions her biological father in the context of mother dodging the question of where he is.
  • Hypercompetent Sidekick: She can pilot a helicopter and give accurate traffic reports (Richter himself usually can only give the former). Alex opines that if she survives until 19, they'll hire her as intern. As of late season 2 she manages to earn her pilot's license.
  • Merit Badges for Everything: She's part of the Nsburg Girl Guides and decides to use her time with Richter to practice for her aviation merit badge.
  • Parental Substitute: She regards Richter as her father.

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