Portrayed by: Lee Pace, Field Cate
- "What makes me different has also brought everyone I love into my life."
A young man who discovered at an early age that he possessed the power to bring back the dead, but only for a minute, or something else in close proximity would die in return. After realizing — through his resurrected mother kissing him goodnight — that a single touch would kill them forever, Ned is shipped off to boarding school by his absentee father, separating him from his childhood sweetheart Chuck.
Some years later, Ned has become a piemaker who makes money on the side by partnering with Emerson Cod, a private investigator, in resurrecting the victims of difficult murders in order to track down their killers. He lives a smooth, if emotionally detached life, until he learns of Chuck's murder and inadvertently lets her live longer than her intended one minute. Along with Emerson, occasionally Olive, and definitely Digby, They Fight Crime!.
- Arbitrary Skepticism: He raises the dead, but doesn't believe in ghosts.
- Blessed with Suck: Bring back the dead, but can't touch his girlfriend or his dog lest they die again for good.
- Butt-Monkey: If something bad happens to a main character, there's about a ninety percent chance it will be Ned.
- Clingy Jealous Guy: A heroic example to Chuck, although it's somewhat justified given Chuck is probably the first person he's openly let into his life in nearly twenty years.
- Cursed with Awesome: Ned can revive the dead with a touch, and has used that power to revive his dog and later his childhood sweetheart, make lots of money investigating murders, and open a thriving bakery by using old, rotted fruit in his pies (since it becomes fresh-off-the-vine as soon as he touches it).
- Dark Secret: The fact that Chuck's father died to balance out the revival of his mother haunts him for a bit, leaving him unable to tell Chuck.
- Devoted to You: An unusual male example, in that Ned is very faithful and loyal to Chuck.
- Friendless Background: As the multiple flashbacks to his school life show, his gift was not very conducive to making friends. Even at the start of the series, his relationships with Emerson and Olive are more business associates than genuine friendship.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Melancholic. He is painfully shy, kind and faithful, reluctant to let other people in his life, and often angsts about his odd resurrection powers.
- Heroes Love Dogs: Has had Digby (a golden retriever) since he was a child, and the first case we're shown him working in-series is to clear the name of a dog that's been framed for murdering its owner.
- I Just Want to Be Normal: To be fair, his powers have made his life a lot worse.
- Indirect Kiss: A necessity when he wants to kiss Chuck.
- Long Lost Sibling: Two of them—his twin half-brothers.
- Mundane Utility: He uses his powers to bring dead fruit back to life for his pies.
- Nice Guy: Kind-hearted and mild-mannered, with everyone's best interests at heart.
- No Good Deed Goes Unpunished: His attempts at simple kindness have a tendency to go wrong.
- No Name Given: Strangely enough he's the only regular character with no last name given.
- Parental Abandonment
- His dad shipped Ned off to boarding school and started a new family with another woman. The only notification that he gave of any of this to Ned was a generic "We've Moved!" postcard. He later abandoned that family, too.
- His mom had an aneurysm. Ned revived her but she died again when she kissed him goodnight.
- Power Incontinence: Ned has no control over his power.
- Ridiculously Average Guy: His powers aside, he's very much unremarkable and seems to prefer it that way.
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Savvy Guy to Chuck's Energetic Girl. She's so much more enthusiastic than Ned that it's hard to describe with words.
- Shrinking Violet: In his own Adorkable way. Even more so when he was a child.
- Single-Target Sexuality: Ned doesn't want anyone but Chuck, much to Olive's dismay.
- Socially Awkward Hero: Ned doesn't really do well with people.
- Sugar-and-Ice Personality: He's very reserved and jumpy towards people he can't; afford to tell everything to, but an absolute sweetheart to those closest to him.
- Tall, Dark, and Handsome: He's 6'4.
- Twitchy Eye: He does this a lot when nervous.
- When He Smiles: A male version. Ned frowns so much that when he does smile, it's pretty amazing.
Charlotte "Chuck" Charles
Portrayed by: Anna Friel, Sammi Hanratty (young)
- "I'd kiss you if it wouldn't kill me."
Ned's childhood sweetheart. Upon the death of her father, who had died to balance out the revival of Ned's mother, she is sent to live with her aunts Lily and Vivian. She and Ned do not meet again until he is called upon to solve her murder on a cruise ship, upon which he accidentally revives her (killing the funeral home owner in return). Despite being legally dead, Chuck manages to reintegrate herself into Ned's life, rekindling their romance along the way, but on one condition — they can't ever touch, or else Chuck dies again forever. Her kind, free-spirited nature provide good faith and cheer to the show's dynamics, something Ned is appreciative of.
- Alliterative Name: Charlotte "Chuck" Charles.
- Attractive Zombie: She is as beautiful as she is when she was alive.
- Back from the Dead: Courtesy of Ned.
- Badass Bookworm: She reads a plot and is capable of defending herself against killers.
- Brainy Brunette: Dark-haired. She can speak several languages, and is multitalented in several fields as well.
- Genki Girl: She's a happy person.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Phlegmatic. Sunny, optimistic, level-headed, and a real sweetheart.
- Has Two Mommies: Raised by her maternal aunts Lily and Vivian.
- Immortality: It's never stated but it is possible that being revived has slowed or either stopped her aging completely as Digby shows no signs of his age.
- Indirect Kiss: Necessary for kissing Ned.
- Informed Judaism: We learn Chuck is Jewish, but we never see her practicing.
- Living Emotional Crutch: To Ned.
- Motor Mouth: Chuck likes talking. A lot.
- Manic Pixie Dream Girl: She fits the bill; she's cute, quirky, mild-mannered and brightens up Ned's life with her real existence.
- Nightmare Fetishist: Suddenly being surrounded by talking dead people (and becoming one yourself...) can do that to you.
- No Hugging, No Kissing: With Ned at first, due to one touch from him killing her instantly, but they find ways around this (such as kissing through plastic wraps and holding hands through body suits).
- Omniglot: Being sheltered her whole life with her aunts led to her discovering a cache of language lesson tapes, which she took to heart.
- Parental Abandonment
- Her dad died to balance out the revival of Ned's mother.
- The woman she thought was her mother died. Her real mother is actually Lily.
- Plucky Girl: Loks for the best in life and takes dying and being resurrected in stride.
- The Pollyanna: Not even dying can bring her down!
- Repetitive Name: Charlotte Charles.
- Revenant Zombie: Technically, she is this.
- Savvy Guy, Energetic Girl: Energetic Girl to Ned's Savvy Guy.
- Separated by the Wall: With Ned.
- The Smart Girl: She's fairly witty and intuitive.
- They Fight Crime!: Aids with Ned's investigations.
- Tomboyish Name: Chuck, although she says that nobody calls her that except Ned anymore.
- Two First Names: Her family surname is traditionally a given name.
- Victim of the Week: The first one, but she didn't stay dead.
Portrayed by: Chi McBride, Steven Wash Jr.
- The truth ain't like puppies, a bunch of them running around, you pick your favorite. One truth and it has come a knockin'.
A private investigator who frequently partners with Ned. Dour and sour, he provides some of the show's more down-to-earth comments. He's also a very avid knitter, using the hobby as a stress relief.
- Bald, Black Leader Guy: Even in childhood flashbacks.
- The Big Guy: Being the tallest member and armed member of the crew.
- Born Detective: His mother was a detective to and he inherited her skills and desire for it.
- Catchphrase: "Oh, HELL no!"
- The Cobbler's Children Have No Shoes: Even without Ned's aid Emerson Cod is a capable investigator. But he still can't find his daughter.
- Deadpan Snarker: As the most down-to-Earth character he can't help but snark at how stupid some situations are.Emerson: Olfactive bomb, why no one use guns anymore?
- Disappeared Dad: Is one himself, but not through any fault of his own.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Choleric. Rather unemotional, sarcastic, often the Team Dad, and his private investigations drive much of the plot.
- Hidden Depths: Started out in art school.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: He's massive at 6"5" and gets a lot of scenes with 4"11" Olive.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He is greedy and blunt on a lot of subjects but he cares about Ned.
- The Lancer: To Ned's Hero.
- Men Don't Cry: Believes in this, although he gets a few shots crying himself. It's less don't cry and more don't cry in public.
- Momma's Boy: Emerson seems to be a bit of a mama's boy when we meet his mother in "Frescorts".
- Money, Dear Boy: In-universe, he'll do anything for a quick buck.
- The Nicknamer: There are sveveral examples, but Chuck's "Dead Girl" moniker comes from him.
- Private Detective: His profession.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He knits.
- Scary Black Man: His height, girth, and baritone voice certainly add to the impression, although he grows friendlier as the show goes on.
- Sesquipedalian Smith: Emerson Cod.
Portrayed by: Kristin Chenoweth, Samantha Bailey, Ellen Sprayberry
- "Wouldn't it just be rock 'n roll if liking someone meant they had to like you back? 'Course that would be a different universe and something else would probably suck."Portrayed by: Kristin Chenoweth
Tiny, adorable Olive is Ned's neighbor, a waitress at the Pie Hole, and unfortunately hopelessly in love with Ned. Despite her initial dislike for Chuck, the latter eventually warms herself to her. At the same time, Olive strikes up a friendship with Chuck's aunts.
- Adorkable: Almost as much as Ned.
- Beware the Nice Ones: She's very sweet until you set her temper off.
- Big Eater: Is a stress eater to the tune of six whole pies in one sitting.
- Clingy Jealous Girl
- The Cutie: She's played by Kristen Chenoweth. This is a given.
- Dogged Nice Guy: To Ned.
- Four-Temperament Ensemble: Sanguine. Olive is bubbly and outgoing, which is a helpful for her profession as a waitress and her befriending suspects in cases.
- Hopeless Suitor: To Ned, at first due to his aversion to social interaction and later on because of his love for Chuck.
- Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: Tiny Girl to both Ned and Emerson's Huge Guy, to the point of Emerson calling her "Itty Bitty."
- I Want My Beloved to Be Happy: Tries to feel this way about Ned and Chuck, eventually.
- Ignored Enamored Underling: To Ned.
- Keeping Secrets Sucks: She gets so fed up with being everybody's Secret Keeper that in the season 2 premiere she has a near-breakdown and goes off to a convent.
- Locked Out of the Loop: She isn't privy to Ned's power, believing Chuck faked her death.
- Lonely Rich Kid: She was raised this way.
- Malaproper: Thought "homeopathic" meant pertaining to homosexuals. She apparently once thought "masturbating" meant chewing. note
- Ms. Fanservice: Frequently wears short dresses with Absolute Cleavage.
- Never My Fault: Not only does she not apologize for being a Stalker with a Crush, Ned actually apologizes to her for rejecting her. Twice.
- The Other Darrin: Two different actresses play her younger self.
- Pint-Sized Powerhouse: The smallest main character, but capable in a life or death fight.
- Secret Keeper: Of a lot of them. First, she discovers that Chuck is really alive, though Olive is under the impression that Chuck faked her death for some reason rather than through the actual, much crazier truth. Next, she discovers that Lily is really Chuck's mother and that she had an affair with Charles Charles, who was Vivian's fiancée at the time. Olive keeps so many of everybody else's that, well see the Keeping Secrets Sucks entry above.
- That Reminds Me of a Song: The Narrator explains that Olive likes to imagine there's an orchestra in her heart and sings in notably emotional moments, most often whenever she's feeling lovesick for Ned. Though it's mostly imaginary, several characters (such as Manuel the janitor) have noticed Olive singing out loud and she's shared a diegetic number with Vivian, so in terms of Musical World Hypotheses, it's a mixture of "All in Their Heads" and "Diegetic."
- You Can Always Tell a Liar: She starts answering questions with questions.
Portrayed by: Ellen Greene, Giselle Gail Gaines
- "Lying to yourself about love never works."
One of Chuck's aunts, who is the softer, kinder one of the two. She and Lily were once the famous synchronized swimming duo Darling Mermaid Darlings.
- All Girls Want Bad Boys: She is more intrigued than disturbed by the fact that Dwight Dixon spent 22 years in prison.
- Although we'll never know for sure (alas!) Charles Charles, her one-time fiance, was a friend of Dwight's and most likely had several deep, dark secrets too.
- Beware the Nice Ones: When she finds out about Lily's infidelity.
- Cool Old Lady: She does her best to be comforting and reassuring to those around her, like Ned and Olive
- Hates Being Touched: One of the social phobias that contribute to her agoraphobia. The one time Ned touches her hand out
- Horrible Judge of Character: Fell in love with super-shady d.bag Dwight Dixon.
- Locked Out of the Loop: Her unawareness that Chuck is alive drives a lot of her arc in the show.
- Parental Substitute: To Chuck.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: Is sweeter, kinder, and quicker to yield than her sister. To drive the point home, "Vivian" means "life" while "Lily" is a flower normally used at funerals.
- That Reminds Me of a Song: Much like Olive, Vivian has more than once burst into song - notable numbers of hers include "Morning Has Broken" and "Birdhouse in Your Soul", the latter of which she shared with Olive on the drive to (appropriately enough) rescue a stray pigeon.
Portrayed by: Swoosie Kurtz,lt)Mackenzie Smith, Avery Stevens
- ''Olive: "Look carefully ladies, this is your future."Lily: "Is it vodka?"Olive: Water.Lily: Hm. As in Russian for vodka?''
The other of Chuck's aunts, who is colder and snarkier than her sister. She and Vivian were once the famous synchronized swimming duo Darling Mermaid Darlings.
- Badass Bystander: Blasts Chuck's assassin with a shotgun, complete with a nice Pre-Mortem One-Liner: "I can hold my breath for a long time."
- Oh. And she would have killed Dwight Dixon, if someone else hadn't gotten to him first.
- Cool Old Lady: An eyepatch wearing, retired athlete who takes down a kilelr.
- Eyepatch of Power: it's her most intimidating feature.
- Lady Drunk: After their career was ruined by an eye injury the truth is that Chuck's and Charles' death really hit her since they were her daughter and lover.
- Locked Out of the Loop: Like her sister, she doesn't know about Ned's powers are that Chuck is alive.
- Luke, I Am Your Father: She is Chuck's real mother.
- Mama Bear: Blows Chuck's killer out of the window with a shotgun it also helps that she really is Chuck's mother.
- Mushroom Samba: This is what leads to her telling Olive that Lily is Chuck's mother.
- Orgasmically Delicious: Whether it's the mood enhancers, the cheese crust, or Ned's mad skillz, nobody reacts to Ned's pies like Lily does.
- Parental Substitute: To Chuck. except not really on the substitute part.
- Perpetual Frowner: She never really smiles.
- Sibling Yin-Yang: More aloof and withdrawn than Vivian. To drive the point home, "Vivian" means "life" while "Lily" is a flower normally used at funerals.
Portrayed by: Orbit/Orion
Ned's beloved childhood golden retriever. When Ned was nine, Digby was run over by an eighteen-wheeler. Ned's sorrow at this led to him discovering his mysterious power. In the present day, Digby still lives with Ned, but is frequently cared for by Olive.
- The Ageless: Hasn't aged since Ned resurrected him during the opening scene of "Pie-lette". He's still alive in the present, well beyond the usual age range for a Golden Retriever, and hasn't aged a day.
- Back from the Dead: Got run over, then brought back.
- Canine Companion: Has been Ned's dog sidekick since childhood.
- Team Pet: To the main cast, who all love him dearly.
- "Mmm-hmmmm."Played by: Sy Richardson
The coroner at the morgue where most of the victims of the week end up. He's more than a little suspicious of Ned and Chuck, and how Emerson keeps bringing them along on investigations.
- Catchphrase: Mmm-hmmmm.
- The Coroner: His profession .
- Deadpan Snarker: He doesn't know nor care why Ned is being brought along and obviously know he is not whatever expert he is posing as at the moment. He just take the bribe and ask questions just to mess with them.
- No Name Given: We never find out his name.
- " If I loved you... Then I would love you in any way I could, and if we could not touch, then I would draw strength from your beauty... And if I went blind, I would fill my soul with the sound of your voice and the contents of your thoughts until the last spark of my love for you lit the shabby darkness of my dying mind..."Played by: Raúl Esparza
A Traveling Salesman who treats his own fear that Earth's atmosphere will get sucked away through various homeopathic remedies. He gives Chuck antidepressants that she bakes into her aunts' pies. He's also in love with Olive.
- Alliterative Name: Alfredo Aldarisio.
- Birds of a Feather: Initially thinks he and Olive are this, see below.
- Chuck Cunningham Syndrome: Initially a love interest for Olive, he eventually fixes the espresso machine for her and attempts to catch her eye to no avail. Later on in the series, he then simply disappears with minimal explanation and the Alfredo/Olive subplot is dropped. Justified, in that Alfredo's last appearance is in an episode where he is Put on a Bus, and Olive realizes she loved him too late.
- One Dialogue, Two Conversations: During their first conversation Olive asks him if he ever felt like "all the oxygen was leaving the room." She was referring to seeing her crush make out with another girl, but he thought she was talking about his own phobia.
- Traveling Salesman: Goes around the area selling his products. [[Reality Ensues: This eventually causes him to leave, right as Olive is starting to return his crush]].
- "Nothing sells books like a little murder and mayhem."Played by: Paul Reubens
Originally introduced in "The Smell of Success," a smell expert who believes fouler smells improve the human condition. He becomes a recurring character after becoming curious about Chuck and Digby's unique smells.
- The Nose Knows: A smell expert so good he can perform Sherlock Scans.
- Rival Turned Evil: Napoleon LeNez paints him as this.
- Secret Chaser: To the main cast.
- Sherlock Scan: Like his rival, can determine a lot about a person through the scents he picks up from them.
- Stalker with a Crush: His behavior towards Chuck can be interpreted as this.
- Played by: Christine Adams
Originally introduced in "Bitches" as a dog breeder and trainer, and is easily the most ruthless and pragmatic of Harold Hundin's wives. She and Emerson develop feelings for each other during the investigation, and she becomes something of a Love Interest for him.
- Aloof Darkhaired Girl: Dark-haired, cold, and very pragmatic.
- Arson, Murder, and Jaywalking: While discussing the poker regulars in "Dim Sum Lose Sum.""Shrimpboy's the gangster in charge of the table and paying off the manager. Anson Chen did eight years in the state pen for armed robbery. Jin Quin is a thug for hire who'll do anything for a few dollars. Louie Lu strangled his mother-in-law, got off on a technicality. Jim is a plumber."
- Evil Brit: Subvertedshe's not the killer, and while much more pragmatic and callous than the other wives, she is definitely not evil.
- Meaningful Name: "Hundin" is German for "female dog."
- Ice Queen: As noted by Emerson, she never shows anyone her cards.
- Odd Name Out: The only one of Harold's four wives to not have a first name that starts with H, breaking the Alliterative Family Theme Naming.
- Scary Black Woman: She comes across as more intimidating than most characters.
- Token Minority Couple: With Emerson.
- Played by: David Arquette
A roommate and client of the frescort Joe, Randy is a socially awkward amateur taxidermist with more than a few similarities to Ned. He appears again as a Love Interest for Olive.
- Birds of a Feather: Randy is essentially Ned without the gift. Ned recognizes this.
- Taxidermy Is Creepy: The reason he doesn't have many friends.
- Unfortunate Names: As he himself points out.
- Played by: Nicholas Khayyat
- Asian and Nerdy: Seems to be a somewhat successful student.
- Braces of Orthodontic Overkill: He has to wear a pretty uncomfotorable looking orthodontic device, which contributes to his unpopularity.
- Foreign Exchange Student: He originally comes from India.
- Only Friend: He and Ned were both largely outcasts and among the only people who'd regularly socialize with each other.
- Plot-Mandated Friendship Failure: He was horrified by the first time he saw Ned's power displayed and ran away, although he later convinced himself that it was his imagination and started hanging out with Ned again.
- What Happened to the Mouse?: He hasn't appeared or been mentioned in the present day despite his friendship with Ned as boys.
- Played By: Daeg French
- Defrosting the Ice Queen: Shows some signs of happiness, and even friendliness helping Ned distribute pies to the rest of the school in his second (and final) episode.
- The Gambler: Runs a roulette wheel where the kids with nowhere to go over the weekend gamble various prized possessions (food, slinky etc.) and is very strict about refusing to let a bet be cancelled once it has been placed.
- Hidden Depths: He's a decent saxophone player.
- Lonely Rich Kid: The rich part is ambiguous, but his parents are off in another country and leave him alone at the school.
- Lonely Together: Hangs out with a bunch of similarly ignored kids who he isn't really friends with (including Ned) over the weekends.
- Long-Haired Pretty Boy: His hair is longer than Chuck's was at their age.
- Perpetual Frowner: He has a somewhat unwelcoming, brooding face.
- Played by: Tina Gloss
Ned's unnamed mother, the first person to be resurrected from his gift at the cost of Chuck's father. She died again upon kissing him goodnight.
- Missing Mom: She died from a brain anuerysm
- Supreme Chef: She was an excellent piemaker; Ned was inspired by her.
- Through His Stomach: According to Dwight Dixon, her piemaking skills went a long way in making Ned's father fall in love with her.
- Unnamed Parent: Her name is not given.
- Played by: Jon Eric Price, George Hamilton
Ned's unnamed father, who left him at boarding school with the promise "I'll be back." He actually moved away to his new family, an unnamed woman and the twins Maurice and Ralston.
- Disappeared Dad: To Ned and the twins.
- Everyone Went to School Together: He, Charles Charles, and Dwight Dixon all served in a squadron of the UN Peacekeeping Force.
- Jerkass: According to Lily and Vivian, he was a jackass who did everyone a favor by moving away.
- Nice Hat: In all appearances of him.
- Unnamed Parent: His name is not given.
Chuck's father, who died when Ned's mother was resurrected for more than one minute.
- Alliterative Name: Doubles as a Repetitive Name.
- Disappeared Dad: To Chuck.
- Flirty Stepsiblings: With Lily and Vivian.
- Repetitive Name: Charles Charles
- Your Cheating Heart: Had an affair with Lily while engaged to Vivian, an affair which produced Chuck.
- Played by: Debra Mooney, Amelia Borella
Emerson's strict, no-nonsense, Caucasian mother, who taught him everything he knew about private investigating.
Maurice and Ralston
- Played by: Alex (Maurice) and Graham (Ralston) Miller, Connor (Maurice) and Keenan (Ralston) Merokvich, Jason (Maurice) and Kristopher (Ralston) Simmons
Ned's twin half-brothers by his Disappeared Dad. They work as stage magicians.
- Always Identical Twins: True to the trope, they look exactly alike.
- Big Brother Worship: To Ned, who finds the whole thing a little unnerving.
- Big Ol' Eyebrows: Chuck points out that it's a trait they share with Ned.
- Bring My Brown Pants: Apparently, Ralston used to always pee himself whenever they'd perform a disappearing trick, due to it reminding him of his father.
- Disappeared Dad: Shared with Ned. He abandoned them, too, and at a Sunday matinee no less.
- Long Lost Sibling: To Ned.
- Stage Magician: They prefer "illusionist."
- Played by: Jonathan Magnum
From "Dummy." An automobile safety specialist at the Dandy Lion Worldwide Industries.
- Dying Declaration of Love / Last Request: Upon his resurrection his last request is for the team to tell Jeanine he loved her.
- Killed to Uphold the Masquerade: He was murdered to keep him from exposing a fatal flaw in the Dandy Lion's design.
- Mistaken for Cheating: By Jeanine, due to his increasingly long hours at work.
- Nice Guy: Apparently, he collected butterflies but always set them free afterwards.
- Office Romance: With Jeanine.
- Screw the Money, I Have Rules!: Refused bribes from Chase to keep quiet about the car's defect and announced he'd go public with it. This led to his murder.
- Victim of the Week: He was one. Indeed the first one of the show - to stay dead that is.
- Played by: Riki Lindhome
From "Dummy." A model for the Dandy Lion SX.
- Big Eater: Seen wolfing down Ned's pies, and demands Emerson's as well. Subverted, though — she's bulimic.
- Genki Girl: As part of the model gig. She's not as upbeat in person, though.
- Office Romance: With Victim of the Week Bernard Slaybeck.
- Corrupt Corporate Executive: He's willing to market a dangerous product.
- Played by: Brad Gunberg
From "Pie-lette" and "The Fun in Funeral." Along with his brother Louis, he runs the Schatz Brothers Funeral Home. He was killed to balance out Ned's revival of Chuck.
- Always Identical Twins: The only physical difference between him and his brother is that Lawrence lacks a mustache.
- Asshole Victim: He stole from the dead.
- Camping a Crapper: Died on the toilet.
- The Face: Of the Schatz Brothers Funeral Home. Louis did all the behind-the-scenes work.
- Fat Bastard: Robbed dead people of their valuable family heirlooms.
- Sibling Team: With Louis.
- Theme Twin Naming / Alphabetical Theme Naming: Lawrence and Louis Schatz.
- Uncanny Family Resemblance: Brad Gunberg plays both twins.
- Played by: Brad Gunberg
From "The Fun in Funeral." Along with his brother Lawrence, he runs the Schatz Brothers Funeral Home.
- Angsty Surviving Twin: Averted. He doesn't seem too perturbed with Lawrence's death, seemingly more occupied with the scandal that broke out about his brother's graverobbing.
- Consummate Liar: Almost everything he tells Ned and Emerson is a complete lie.
- Identical Twin ID Tag: Has a moustache while Lawrence doesn't.
- Sibling Team: With Lawrence.
- Theme Twin Naming / Alphabetical Theme Naming: Lawrence and Louis Schatz.
- Uncanny Family Resemblance: Brad Gunberg plays both twins.
Wilfred Woodruff VI
- Played by: Eddie Shin
From "The Fun in Funeral." A man whose prized family heirloom, a sword dating back to the Civil War, was stolen. He vows revenge upon the Schatz brothers for this.
- Alliterative Name: The sixth, too!
- Chinese Laborer: His ancestor Fambing Woo was this, becoming a decorated hero by putting on a soldier's uniform.
- Fan of the Past: Is very proud of his Confederacy heritage, and is very active in Civil War discussions and the like.
- Sword Fight: With Ned.
Lemuel "Lefty Lem" Weinger
- Played by: Dash Mihok
From "Pigeon." A one-handed criminal who breaks out of prison in search of a hidden treasure his deceased cellmate told him about.
- An Arm and a Leg: Lost his right hand in a paper shredder.
- Dead Person Impersonation: Impersonated the owner of the apartment the plane he hijacked crashed into.
- Generation Xerox: Continued to write to Elsita under the impression that she was Elsa under Jackson's name. Fittingly, he and Elsita fell in love like Jackson and Elsa did.
- Long-Distance Relationship: With Elsita, all along.
From "Pigeon." A homing pigeon that lost its wing and is later nursed to health by Lily and Vivian. Later revealed to belong to Elsita's mother.
- Played by: Jayma Mays
- An Arm and a Leg: Has a wooden leg, which is covered by the long skirt she wears when we meet her. It contains the diamonds Lem was searching for all along.
- Generation Xerox: Continued to write to Lefty Lem under the impression that he was Jackson under Elsa's name. Fittingly, she and Lem fell in love like Jackson and Elsa did.
- Long-Distance Relationship: With Lem, all along.
- Plucky Girl: Seems very spirited when Lefty Lem ties her up.
- Uncanny Family Resemblance: Mother-daughter pair Elsa and Elsita are both played by Jayma Mays.
John Joseph Jacobs
- Played by: Hamish Linklater
From "Girth." A young man who'd been hyped as the best jockey of his age until his tragic death in a horse race Olive participated in.
- Alliterative Name: Three name starting with J.
- Back from the Dead: The "murderer" in "Girth" is claimed to be the ghost of John Joseph Jacobs, out for revenge. It's actually his mother, although John Joseph is still alive, and in fact never died.
- Basement-Dweller: remains in his other's house after faking his death.
- Posthumous Character: He was killed many years ago; his girth was cut and he fell off, trampled to death by his competitors. Or so it seems - though he is not the murderer.
- Played by: Barbara Barrie
From "Girth." John Joseph Jacobs's mother.
- Ashes to Crashes: They're not human ashes.
- Knight Templar Parent: Subtle, but you can see in her conversation with Olive that she holds contempt for the surviving Jock-Off 2000 jockeys. And up to eleven when it turns out she was murdering them all along.
Lucas Shoemaker, Pinky McCoy, and Gordon McSmalls
- Played by: Christopher Neiman, Ralph P. Martin, Carlos Alazraqui
From "Girth." The three other surviving jockeys of the Jock-Off 2000 (Olive being the fourth). Lucas is killed by what he claims is the ghost of John Joseph Jacobs, and the other three survivors meet up to discuss it.
- The Alcoholic: Gordon. Formerly Lucas, although he recently had joined AA.
- The Bartender: Pinky, complete with a gun under the bar.
- Discriminate and Switch: Pinky refuses to serve Emerson — not because he's black, but because he's tall.
- His Name Really Is "Barkeep": Lucas Shoemaker...makes horseshoes.
- Trapped by Gambling Debts: Pinky's motive for cutting John Joseph's girth to rig a race.
- Victim of the Week: Lucas was one. So is Pinky, a little later.
- Played by: Joel McHale
From "Bitches." A famous dog breeder who is poisoned by, he tells Ned before his one minute is over, his wife. Too bad he forgot to mention that he has four.
- Alliterative Name: Both names start with H.
- Alliterative Family: Hillary, Heather, and Hallie Hundin.
- Bitter Almonds: He describes his coffee as tasting such, which is in line with the autopsy of cyanide poisoning.
- Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: After ingesting poisoned coffee, he tripped and stabbed himself on a pointy dog brush several times, which meant he was doomed either way.
- Meaningful Name: "Hundin" is German for "female dog."
- Marry Them All: He had four wives.
Hillary, Heather, and Hallie Hundin
- Played by: Jessica Lundy (Hillary), Lydia Look (Heather), and Jenny Wade (Hallie)
From "Bitches." Harold Hundin's three other wives (the third, Simone, has her own section above). Hillary owns a designer petwear store, Heather is a pet psychologist, while Hallie breeds Labradors as seeing-eye dogs and donates them to the blind.
- Alliterative Family: Four H names.
- Aloof Dark-Haired Girl: From what we see of her, Heather is also cool and emotionally detached. Justified as she's a psychologist.
- Canine Companion: All of them have one, as seen at Harold's funeral. Bubblegum is an amalgam of all their favorite breeds.
- Clingy Jealous Girl: Hillary is... a little unhappy about the polygamy.
- Frame-Up: Hillary frames Hallie for Harold's murder.
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: The fourth and youngest wife, Hallie, has blond hair and donates dogs to the blind. Chuck denies that Hallie could be the murderer because she comes off as that angelic.
- Not So Stoic: Heather starts crying and has to leave the room when she's reminded of her husband.
- Team Pet: Their prized dog, Bubblegum, a Col-a-dor-Russel-a-poo, the "perfect dog," bred from their favorite dogs by Harold. They are all vehemently protective of her and take measures to ensure she won't fall into the wrong hands.
- Played by: Mark Harelik
From "Bitches." A pet store chain owner and friend of Harold.
- Feed the Mole: A variation. Determined to find out which of Harold's wives killed him and Snuppy, Ned revives Snuppy at Harold's funeral. Hillary then has a Freak Out and runs away, pinning her as the killer.
- Red Herring: The wives paint him as Harold's murderer, but that's quickly thrown out the window when he's murdered himself.
- Played by: Sarah Jayne Jensen
- Cruel and Unusual Death: Burned alive by a bomb planted in LeNez's book. She is even interrogated while her corpse is still smoking.
- Doting Grandparent: She was very close with her grandmother and started working for Napoleon because his scenes experiments reminded Anita of her.
- Hero-Worshipper: Was utterly convinced of LeNez's genius.
- Nice Girl: Polite and upbeat.
- Victim of the Week: She was one.
- Played by: Christopher Sieber
From "The Smell of Success." A smell expert who believes that humans should surround themselves with good, positive smells. His book, "The Smell of Success," is poised to become more successful after the attempt on his life.
- Decontamination Chamber: Has one in his office, due to his paranoia.
- Frame-Up: Frames Vibenius for the attack on his life, when he'd been staging assassination attempts on himself the whole time.
- Harmony Versus Discipline: The "Discipline" to Vibenius's Harmony.
- Meaningful Name: "Le nez" literally means "the nose" in French
- The Nose Knows: To Sherlock Scan levels when Ned and Emerson bring him anything for the ivestigaiton.
- Rival Turned Evil: Plants Vibenius as this.
Billy and Dilly Balsam
- Played by: Mike White (Billy), Molly Shannon (Dilly)
From "Bittersweet." A BrotherSister Team who open a taffy and sweets emporium opposite the Pie Hole, seemingly intent on driving them out of business.
- Alliterative Name: Billy Balsam.
- Bad Liar: Billy is not very convincing when he tries to deny that h works at the restaurant he's just been shilling for in a public area.
- BrotherSister Team: They run a restaurant together.
- The Corpse Stops Here: Billy.
- Evil Gloating: Dilly, until the team proves they had no role in Billy's murder.
- Verbal Tic: Dilly deliberately stutters when she's upset.
- Played by: Michael Cornacchia
From "Bittersweet." A burly man who kills the episode's first Victim of the Week when the latter questioned his relationship with a life-sized doll.
- Cargo Ship: In-universe, he's deeply in love with a lifesized doll, Sheila, believing her to be a real woman.
- Conveniently Cellmates: With Ned, upon the latter's arrest.
- Morality Pet: For all her, uh, doll-ness, he notably softens up when Sheila is brought up.
- Taking the Heat: For...Sheila.
- Played by: Steve Hytner
From "Bittersweet." A health inspector whose surprise inspection of the Pie Hole ends up temporarily closing the place.
- Blackmail: To the Balsams; they had bribed him to close the Pie Hole and he was holding this over their heads, resulting in his murder.
- Fingore: Billy bit off his finger when the latter killed him.
- Played by: Colby Paul
From "Corpsicle." A young man whose requests for a heart transplant are continuously denied by Über-Life Life Insurance.
- Cut His Heart Out with a Spoon: Abner threatens a bonobo monkey with cutting its heart out with a butter knife to use for himself. Everyone around him is understandably put off.
- Littlest Cancer Patient: Inversion. Abner is probably the least likable kid with a terminal illness on television.
- Played by: Audrey Wasilewski
From "Corpsicle." A perky agent of the Make-a-Wish Foundation whose only desire this Christmas is to see Abner smile. She's obviously having a hard time with this.
- Batter Up!: She kills people with a baseball bat.
- Pun: Killing people with a baseball bat with "kindness" engraved onto it.
- Stepford Smiler: Tries to keep up a bright face even as she's login through deep emotional torment and frustration.
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: A very loose definition of "well-intentioned," but she really wants to make kids happy. To the point of murdering insurance agents for the sake of one Abner Newsome .
- Played by: Autumn Reeser
From "Bzzzzzzzz!" The potential new face of Betty's Bees, replacing previous Number One Bee-Girl Betty — something that the team suspects is highly connected to her murder.
- Beehive Hairdo: As an employee of a honey-based product company.
- Death by Disfigurement: Stung to death by a swarm of bees. When Ned resurrects her corpse, she's covered in bulbous bee stings from head to toe.
- Happily Married: To Dusty Fitz.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: Described as being as close as sisters with Betty.
- The Lost Lenore: To Dusty.
- Victim of the Week: She was one.
- Played by: Peter Cambor
From "Bzzzzzzzz!" Kentucky's grieving husband, who brings her murder to the team.
- Happily Married: To Kentucky.
- Like Brother and Sister: According to the narrator, he and Betty became this.
- Manly Tears: While grieving over his wife, much to Emerson's dismay.
- Played by: Missi Pyle
From "Bzzzzzzzz!" The founder and president of Betty's Bees before it was taken over by Woolsey Nichols. Kentucky's former employer, with whom she shared a sisterly relationship.
- Beehive Hairdo: Fittingly, as the owner of a honey-based products company.
- Christmas Cake: According to Nichols, her age (37) is the reason for her being phased out in favor of Kentucky.
- Heterosexual Life-Partners: With Kentucky. So much that they were in cahoots to bring Nichols down.
- Played by: French Stewart
From "Bzzzzzzzz!" The new owner of Betty's Bees following his hostile takeover of the company.
- Bee Bee Gun: Spat an encased queen bee at people so that the swarm would follow and kill his victim.
- The Stoic: She's very reserved and deadpan in her manner.
- Played by: Hayley McFarland
From "Circus Circus." "Sweet" Nikki is Georgeann's runaway daughter. Her mother brings her missing person case to Emerson.
- Doom Magnet: People around her keep showing up dead.
- Nice Girl: She's fairly pleasant to the detectives trying to find her.
- The Runaway: Implied to stem from her Mommy Issues.
- Played by: Casey Weiant
From "Circus Circus." Nikki's best friend.
- I'll Never Tell You What I'm Telling You!: Chuck slyly gets more information from Nikki's best friend than the friend had planned on revealing.
- Loose Lips: Although she claims not to have this, Chuck easily gets information out of her with the right bait.
- Played by: Loren Lazarine
From "Circus Circus." The head clown at the Circus of Fun.
- Alliterative Name: Although it's probably a stage name.
Bryce von Deenis
- Played by: Googy Gress
- Butt-Monkey: The stunt the clowns pulled on him seems to have been pretty disgusting, from what we hear. He's more than a little upset about it.
- Unfortunate Names: When you make a limerick out of "von Deenis," you end up with...
PierreFrom "Circus Circus." An acrobat at the circus.
- French Jerk: a snooty, self-centered performer with a noticeable accent.
- Played by: Mo Collins
From "Bad Habits." A nun who'd taken Olive under her wing. She was in charge of the convent's truffle harvest before her death.
- Hot Scientist: Before she became a nun she was a famous mycologist. What attracted her to the convent was their truffles.
- Naughty Nuns: Carried on an affair with Hansel von Getz.
- Victim of the Week: She was one.
Hansel von Getz
- Played by: Graham McTavish
- All Germans Are Nazis: Although Emerson thought to he was an "Angry German," he's actually Swiss (and non-threatening).
Father Eduardo Dedonde
- Played by: Michael Hitchcock
The priest at the convent.
- Nice Guy: Despite being a murder suspect, he seems to be genuinely nice — he is genuinely concerned for Sister Larue's situation, and speaks to Ned a little about his issues.
- Played by: Alexandra Barretto
From "Frescorts." A beautiful woman who comes to Emerson about the death of her best friend Joe.
- Alliterative Name: Two V names
- So Beautiful, It's a Curse: When asked why she would pay for a frescort, she mentions it's because people "can't see past the physical" with her.
- She's Got Legs: As her short dresses are wont to emphasize.
- Victoria's Secret Compartment: Keeps things near her chest.
- Played by: Hayes McArthur, J.R. Nutt
From "Frescorts." CEO of My Best Friend Inc., a frescort company where people are hired to become friends.
- Meaningful Name: He starts up a business related to friendship.
- Humiliation Conga: Suffered one in high school at the hands of the football team.
- Jerk Jock: Claimed to be this in his high school years, but he reformed.
- Paid-for Family: Runs an entire business of paid-for friends.
- Repetitive Name: A variation: his surname is the Latin translation of his first name.
- Played by: Joshua LeBar
From "Frescorts." A "frescort" at My Best Friend Inc., who had been hired by Veronica, Eugene, and Randy.
- Office Romance: With Barb, to the point of wanting to leave the company for her due to the anti-fraternization rules.
- Victim of the Week: He was one.
- Played by: Dana Davis
From "Frescorts." A perky receptionist at My Best Friend Inc.
- Expy: Of Season 1's Jeanine, who was similarly a perky green-clad employee of the company being investigated involved in an Office Romance with the Victim of the Week.
- Office Romance: With Joe.
- Played by: Colton Haynes
From "Frescorts." Supposedly the dorky school mascot of Buddy's high school years. Except not really.
- Big Man on Campus: Mentioned to be this by the narration.
- Jerk Jock: He was quarterback, and joined in humiliating Buddy after the latter caused a crucial defeat.
- Posthumous Character: He's been dead since Buddy's high school years.
- Played by: Ping Wu
From "Dim Sum, Lose Sum." A dim sum chef.
- LostHerInACardGame: How his daughter got engaged.
- Make It Look Like an Accident: His death.
- Meaningful Name: "Bao" means "bun."
- Papa Wolf: Deeply regretted gambling away his daughter's hand in marriage, he begged for a second chance from Shrimpboy and co.
- Translation Convention: Subverted. "Bao chose to respond in English."
- Victim of the Week: He was one.
- Played by: Andrea Lui
From "Dim Sum, Lose Sum." Bao Ting's daughter, a waitress at the restaurant.
- Arranged Marriage: To Rubbie.
- Played by: Ron Yuan
From "Dim Sum, Lose Sum." Head of a gambling ring.
- Ironic Nickname: Shrimpboy for someone who's definitely not a shrimp.
- Played by: Blake Kushi
From "Dim Sum, Lose Sum." Shrimpboy's cousin.