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Paradise Police Department

    Kevin Crawford 
Voiced by: David Herman
A delightfully air-headed, and terribly destructive 18-year-old boy, who aspires to be a cop, just like his dad. Unfortunately, because of his tendency to screw up, lose focus, make mistakes, and shoot people in the testicles, his father doesn't trust him to handle his life-long dream.
  • Bad Job, Worse Uniform: Because Randall doesn't give him any true responsibility, he's assigns Kevin to really stupid, lower-tier cop jobs. For instance, in the first episode, he made him a crossing guard, wearing a flashy uniform, that even he admitted was stupid.
    Kevin: I failed you, dad. I should hand in my badge, ... and my crossing guard uniform.
    Randall: Kevin! Why the hell would I want those!?
    • In "Ass on the Line", Kevin got a job, teaching a school of children about sexual predators, while wearing a giant dog costume, with Xs of red tape on his genitalia.
  • Butt-Monkey: On account of his stupidity, he gets himself severely injured a lot.
  • Cannot Talk to Women: In "Karla", he proved to be a really shitty boyfriend, taking his date to an abortion-themed demolition derby, where she was barfed and pissed on by a bunch of loud, obnoxious hillbillies.
  • Dumb Blonde: A rare male example.
  • Establishing Character Moment: The first scene of the pilot is notable for him shooting his father in the testicles with a gun. This lets us know that Kevin is a clumsy, dumbfuck, who, although totally on accident, gives his father Hell, when trying to do good.
  • Expy: Of Steve Williams, even sharing the same voice actor.
  • Fat Idiot: Maybe not as fat as Dusty or even his Brickleberry counterpart Steve, but he's definitely stupid. He couldn't even come up with a fake-name for his ragtag team of cops (Handicop, Prop Cop, the conjoined twins) other than "The Policecees" when being grilled by Lady Gertrude who doesn't want cops on her circus.
  • George Jetson Job Security: If it weren't for nepotism, Kevin would have been fired for his trigger-happy gunfire incident in the video store in the first episode.
  • The Gift: May be a shitty cop, but he graduated college with an "A" in metal shop.
  • Hidden Depths: While an idiot, Kevin attempts to do actual police work to find the kingpin behind argyle meth. This leads to said kingpin planning on having him killed for getting too close.
  • Humble Goal: To be a cop, just like his dad.
  • Loser Protagonist: Kevin is a nervous wreck, an 18-year-old virgin, and has not a lick of confidence.
  • Manchild: He's 18 years old, and still acts the way he did when he was 5.
  • The Millstone: Whenever he tries to help out the police squad, he usually just makes things worse.
  • Oops... I Did It Again: The sole reason Randall didn't want him to be a cop was because of him shooting him in the testicles. That kind of irresponsible gun use happened again, first day on the job, when he shot up an entire video store.
  • Rage Breaking Point: Doesn't seem to have one.
    Kevin: That's it, Stanley! Making me suck your dick was really close to crossing the line.
  • Shouting Shooter: While shooting, he always screams ... in terror.

    Chief Randall Crawford 
Voiced by: Tom Kenny
The screaming, gaudy commander and chief of Paradise P.D. and the father of Kevin. Ever since losing his testicles, he's been a miserable, downtrodden mess, making up for his broken manhood, by barking out orders at his employees and smothering himself in testosterone patches.
  • Arch-Enemy: Dean Hancock from rival police station, Diamond City PD.
  • Bad Boss: He tries to get rid of Hopson all the time. Bullet's also complained Randall never pays him.
  • Berserk Button: Just about anything going less than perfectly, will make Randall snap and start screaming profanities left and right, thinking that it will make things better.
  • Broken Bird: Ever since he was shot in the testicles and was dumped by his wife, Randall has been "shitting rainbows", as he sarcastically put it. You can really tell how much this damaged him, as he was such a happy-go-lucky guy, before the incident, compared to the fat, depressing old man he is now.
  • Butt-Monkey: He's the show's residential Chew Toy. Seeing that Kevin ruined his life by shooting his testicles, costing Randall his marriage to Karen and forcing him to take testosterone patches to avoid growing enormous man-boobs. Though Kevin helps Randall get back with Karen again in episode 9.
  • Conspiracy Theorist: In "Ass on the Line", we learn that he's a flat-earther.
  • Dark Secret: Has many.
    • In his youth, he was the greatest D&D player of all.
    • During the night he stood up Kevin's mother and got drunk, he became a stripper called Morning Sausage and is terribly ashamed of it.
  • Drill Sergeant Nasty: Screams and yells at everybody.
  • Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Really hates Dean Hancock for marrying and fucking his mother.
  • Expy: Of Woody Johnson , even sharing the same voice actor.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: Part of the reason his wife divorced him is because he was a total sexist.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He is a stubborn and sexist asshole but at the end of the day he is a police chief wanting to protect his city and does genuinely love and care about his son.
  • Men Are Tough: Has to use testosterone patches to keep up with this.
  • New Old Flame: He and his wife got back together and started fucking non-stop.
  • No Respect Guy: In "Karla", he sold a pocket watch, which was given to him by his deceased grandfather on his deathbed. Why did he need the money? For drugs.
  • Only in It for the Money: In ""Dungeons & Dragnet". Randall arrested everybody in Paradise, who played Dungeons & Dragons, because the church thought it was Satanic. Not that he agreed with the church, he just heard there was a big stack of reward money in it for him, if he rid the city of that game.
  • Recovered Addict: Became a heroin addict in "Karla" after he ate some fried chicken spiked with that drug by Dusty, and went through a long, painful recovery, in getting back to normal.
  • Sanity Slippage: In "Ass on the Line", he went completely crazy, when focusing on finding out who "The Mole" was.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Screams and curses like a madman, whenever he gets mad.
  • Testosterone Poisoning: Put on waaaay to many testosterone patches in "Welcome to Paradise", and hulked out, turning into a gigantic, devilish, car-crushing monster.
  • Working with the Ex: Has to put up with his ex-wife on occasion.

    Gerald Fitzgerald 
Voiced by: Cedric Yarborough
A wise-cracking black guy, who has a deep appreciation for Japanese culture, but no respect for any of his co-workers.

    Dusty Marlowe 
Voiced by: Dana Snyder
An overly obese oaf weighing at 560 lb, with the iron-will of a paranoid hairless cat. Fittingly enough, he is a lonely old virgin, who's only interaction with pussy is his massive collection of pet cats in his apartment room.
  • Acrofatic: Doesn't let his fatness hold him back, from beating up criminals.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: Dusty really kicked some ass in his fight with Santa Claus, stabbing him to death with a candy cane that he sharpened into a knife shape after sucking on it.
  • Big Beautiful Man: As far as Gina is concerned, but then we see she's not alone; Joe Biden and a cat named Mr. Meowgi also tried bidding on an Internet auction for who gets to screw Dusty.
  • Big Eater: Eats tons of food, making him so fat.
  • Big Fun: He's a fat guy who's always cheerful and friendly.
  • Bulletproof Human Shield: Because he's so fat, his coworkers use him like a bulletproof wall.
  • Crazy Cat Lady: Rare male example; he spends more money on his dozens of cats, than on himself.
  • Dude Looks Like a Lady: In episode 10, after getting framed for dealing meth and killing Terry Two-Toes, the security guards put him in a women's prison because they couldn't find his penis due to how fat he is.
  • The Ditz: He's gullible and easy to fool.
  • Fat Idiot: He's dumb as a brick, and weighs 560 pounds (when he's not eating).
  • Frame-Up: Gets arrested at the end of season one under charges of being the Kingpin, despite having just defeated the boss' right hand man: Santa Claus.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Talks like this, instead of actually cussing. This came to an end, however, when he killed Santa Claus and unleashed every profanity in the book unto him.
  • Hypocrite: In episode 4, he gets angry over the pricing of the heroin needed to make his famous fried chicken recipe and calls it criminal even though he's charging $300 for 2 pieces of chicken.
  • Manchild: Acts like a child on Christmas, asking for a choo-choo train from a mall santa.
    Dusty: Hi, Santy Claus! (giggles) I know you're not the real Santy. But you report to the real Santy.
  • Nice Guy: Dusty is the most innocent and childlike member of the force and probably the nicest character in the series as well.

    Gina Jabowski 
Voiced by: Sarah Chalke
The short-tempered, quick to aggression female cop. Although she's excellent in combat, she always takes things too far in terms of violence, making her an unstable, and somewhat rogue member of the team.
  • Action Girl: The sole female of the team, and also the most competent member. She busts more criminals than anyone else, and does so in a kickass, violent way as well.
  • Berserk Button: Whenever someone breaks a law, even if it's a misdemeanor like using 2 coupons at once or getting free sodas with a cup for only water. Gina also does not like being touched or flirted with by men who aren't Dusty.
  • Black and White Insanity: If you so much as forget to use a turn signal, the best you could hope for is that Gina only horribly maims you. You break any law whatsoever and Gina will exert Police Brutality on you.
  • Blood Knight: Lives and breathes off of stopping criminals from living and breathing.
  • Boobs of Steel: Well endowed, and absolutely vicious.
  • Chubby Chaser: Is in love with Dusty Marlow, and constantly tries to rape him.
  • Comical Overreacting: "I promise not to overreact to every little — DID THAT CUNT JUST PUT SPRITE IN A WATER CUP?!!!"
  • The Dreaded: The criminals of Paradise treat the police in general as a joke, but they live in fear of Gina.
  • Dumb Blonde: She's done a lot of stupid things like pointing guns at Terry Two-Toes without checking to see if her guns are loaded, forgoing making Dusty a suspect in the "El Chefe" cocaine drug trade even though he perfectly matched the witness's sketch drawing, mixing up Bumfuque with an African warlord's home village which was really a redneck town next to Paradise, licked Dusty's anus giving her a parasite and getting her hospitalized.
  • The Friends Who Never Hang: Gina has never interacted with Hopson on screen.
  • Hello, Nurse!: A lot of men are in love with her, but Dusty's not one of them. In episode 6, a comic store owner asks her to put on a Princess Leia slave bikini, which she was embarrassed to do but agreed to do so if she gets paid $100. She's also been harassed by a Stephen Hawking knock-off who kept asking her for sex.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Her father was a criminal who while trying to escape the police on a speedboat, without even the slightest bit of hesitation, used her to block a bullet, then tossed her into the water telling his wife they'll make another one to replace her. Though to be fair it wasn't because she was his least favourite child, he was just a Dirty Coward who would (and does) rather force his kids to take a bullet for him.
  • One-Man Army: She is able to keep the town in order without (or even despite) her fellow officers.
  • Only Sane Woman: More like Only Sane Officer. Ironically, as somehow who's unstable, she is only one who is capable of doing her job compared to completely incompetent Paradise PD. This is because Kevin's stupid, Randall's conflicted with his hormone issues, Hopson's too old and unbalanced, Bullet's a junkie, Gerald's cowardly and Dusty cares more about eating than doing his job. Her status of being this gets taken Up to Eleven in "Parent Trap" where she is the only one to realize that Dusty is eating sandwiches covered in mucus and semen by the Native American cooks.
  • Pint-Sized Powerhouse: In spite of her slim figure, she can pin 560-pound Dusty to the ground as shown in "Parent Trap" and even took down a bear with a chainsaw in "Meet the Jabowskis".
  • Rabid Cop: She is loud and ferocious and cracks down on criminals as soon as she gets the chance.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: She takes pride in being incredibly dangerous and violent.
  • Ultimate Job Security: She's a textbook case for police brutality and a sexual harassment lawsuit waiting to happen, but she's also the only officer on the force who isn't a total moron.
  • Workaholic: She absolutely loves hunting down criminals so that she can beat them up senselessly.
  • Yandere: To Dusty.

    Stanley Hopson 
Voiced by: Dana Snyder
A wrinkled, senile old man, who refuses to retire, despite having Alzheimer's, dementia, amnesia, and every other old man disease in the book. Occasionally makes outdated racist comments and rambles about his previous homosexual experiences with male celebrities from the 1950's-1960's.

Voiced by: Kyle Kinane
The drug-obsessed German Shepherd who takes advantage of every chance he gets to smoke or snort some crack, coke, meth, weed, heroin, tobacco, inhalants, or anything else that could get him high. If that's not enough, he's also an alcoholic, and a crazed sex maniac.
  • The Alcoholic: Drugs aren't the only thing he's addicted to.
  • Bestiality Is Depraved: Dated and fucked a human being in "Dungeons & Dragnet".
  • Cloud Cuckoolander: Due to his drug addiction and alcoholism, he's always too drunk to give a shit, during most crime cases.
  • Expy: Of Malloy.
  • Fantastic Racism: In "Ass on the Line", Bullet was offended, when Kevin wore a dog costume, saying that it was the canine equivalent of blackface.
  • Functional Addict: He does a TON of drugs, yet he’s still on the force and acts normal most of the time.
  • Furry Reminder: Bullet pestered Randall to buy him an expensive doghouse in "Karla". To shut him up, Randall taunted Bullet with a chew toy, which Bullet couldn't resist fetching like a stereotypical canine.
  • The Hedonist: Bullet wants to do drugs and have sex, and that's pretty much the extent of his interests.
  • Heroic Dog: A police dog who stops drug-dealers...when he's not doing drugs himself.
  • Hollywood Atheist: An an Atheist, Bullet conforms to the stereotypes of being a hateful, spiteful dick, who lives without morals and occasionally trashes the bible. Though he's still not as bad as Malloy was.
  • Jerkass: Bullet states he's always so sullen and mostly looking out for himself because he was taken away from his mother and sold off as a Christmas present when he was a puppy.
  • Kavorka Man: Beyond being a mangy mutt, he's also a drug addict, with his life in the dump. Yet, he managed to bag a beautiful church girl in "Dungeons & Dragnet".
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Bullet had his first and last moment, when he killed all his friends with argyle meth. This shook him so terribly, he gave up drugs completely, before having a spiritual encounter with his dead friend, saying that everything was alright. This was the only time you'll ever see Bullet care about doing anything wrong.
  • Token Non-Human: The dog of the team.


    Mayor Karen Crawford 
Voiced by: Grey Griffin
The mayor of Paradise, Kevin's mother and Randall's ex-wife.
  • Amicable Exes: With Randall, but only in later episodes. It's quite the reverse in earlier episodes.
  • Damsel in Distress: In the first episode, "Welcome to Paradise", she was captured by Terry Two-Toes and Paradise P.D. had to save her.
    • This is also the role she served when she and Randall first met. Karen and her boyfriend were in a burning building and Randall saved her. Karen was the only survivor, so ... yeah.
  • Fiery Redhead: She's a spunky redhead.
  • Good Parents: In complete contrast to Randall, Karen serves as a picture-perfect parent to Kevin. Sure, she's had a few hiccups in episodes such as "Karla 3000" and "Parent Trap", but she's always redeemed herself in the end.
  • Mama Bear: To Kevin, as emphasized in "Karla 3000".
  • Noodle Incident: There's a number of stories about moments in Karen and Randall's marriage that made the former want to divorce the latter.
    Karen: Can't be any worse than our third honeymoon.
    Randall: Oh, for the last time, Karen, there's nothing non-romantic about taking you to see a Mexican donkey sex show.
    Karen: Well, I didn't know I was gunna be in it!
  • Only Sane Man: Both in the family and the show as a whole.
    • Actually, she kind of broke this in "Black & Blue", when she arrested Fitz (an armed police officer) for accidentally shooting himself (an innocent minority), as she deemed it to be a hate crime.
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: In "Karla 3000", she re-allocated $1.2 million intended for the town's school for blind children to a police Lamborghini controlled by a sentient A.I. program for her son to look cool while driving it.
  • They Really Do Love Each Other: Starting with "Parent Trap", Karen and Randall reconciled after being hatefully divorced all these years.
  • Ultimate Authority Mayor: She has the power to do whatever she pleases and she often goes crazy with her power, if it means she gets to spite her ex-husband with it.
  • Who's Laughing Now?: Randall laughed at Karen for thinking she could become mayor. Of course, as we all know, Karen did become mayor and a great one at that, showing Randall who's boss both metaphorically and literally.

    Robbie and Delbert 
Voiced by: Waco O'Guin and Roger Black
Two rednecks who are always shown committing various crimes. They work for the Argyle Meth kingpin.
  • An Arm and a Leg: Delbert gets his hand hacked off by the Kingpin's goons in episode 9 as punishment for failing to spot the cops (led by Kevin) from arresting nearly the entire drug trade gang.
  • Brother–Sister Incest: Delbert wants to screw his really, really hairy sister. Eww.
  • The Ditz: They stupidly give out any vital information Paradise PD can use if they're asked at least two questions for the answer. The first question, they refuse to talk. The second question, they're valuable mines of knowledge!
  • The Dragon: To the Argyle Meth trade's kingpin.
  • Expy: Of Bobby and Bodean, with both pairs sharing the same voice actors and speech patterns.
  • Jerkass: Especially Robbie. They both happen to commit crime for no reason other than cause it's fun. They even took over the Paradise PD police station and gave Randall a painful makeover like rings and tattoos.

    Hobo Cop 
Voiced by:
A stereotypical hobo, who lives under the highway and rummages through garbage.
  • #1 Dime: Betty.
  • Bumbling Sidekick: To Fitz.
  • The Chew Toy: Randall sent him to investigate a possibly explosive package, not wanting himself for anyone important to rick being blown up.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Hobo Cop seems to have a typical "hobo mental illness", expressed by his nonsensical rambling.
  • Dumpster Dive: Wouldn't be a hobo if he didn't shop this way.
  • Hidden Depths: He's actually really good at staring danger in the face and capturing criminals. Fitz even admires his courage.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: His real name was never revealed, so he's just known as "Hobo Cop".
  • The Pig Pen: One of his most prominent traits is that he's filthy, stinky, disgusting, and covered in trash.
    Fitz: Here's my gift to you. It's a bottle of Purell. Take a bath in this shit.
  • Punny Name: His name is a pun on "Robo Cop".
  • Salt and Pepper: The salt to Fitz's pepper.
  • Tagalong Kid: Although he's not an official main character or even an official member of the police force, he still occasionally serves as an honorary eighth member of the team.

    Dr. Fudlicker 
The doctor of Paradise Hospital.
  • Ambiguously Brown: In "Parent Trap", he said that he was black but he bleached his skin, so he could get accepted into Trump University. It is unknown if this was true or if he just said this to avoid getting scalped by Dusty.
  • Back-Alley Doctor: Dr. Fudlicker is somewhat of a shitty doctor.
  • Expy: Of Dr. Kuzniak.

    Preacher Paul 
The priest at Paradise Pentecostal Church.
  • Alliterative Name: Preacher Paul.
  • Boomerang Bigot: Hates gay people and adoptions, despite the fact that he is literally married to a man, of whom he adopted two kids with.
    • Not to mention, even he doesn't believe in Christianity.
    (Satan rises from a portal to Hell in the middle of the church)
    Preacher Paul: Holy fucking shit! You mean to tell me that this shit's actually real!?
  • High Priest: Preacher Paul is a holy man held in high regard in Paradise.
  • Hypocrite: He and his husband do not approve of their son being gay.
  • Insane Troll Logic: Preacher Paul just has no idea what he's talking about, sometimes. He banned Disney because he believed it was a pornographic website.
  • Like Father, Like Son: Like Father, Like Daughter, in this case. Her daughter, Chastity, is just as devout of a Christian as he is, blindly following everything the bible says and ignoring any sense of observation or reason.
  • Religious Stereotype: Preacher Paul is characterized as a bible-thumping, bigoted, homophobic Christian, who believes in everything his religion says, no matter how admittedly stupid and untruthful it may be.
  • Sinister Minister: Despite preaching love and goodness for your fellow brothers, he led an angry mob in killing a homosexual in "Ass on the Line" and he stabbed someone in the eye with a cross in "Black & Blue".
  • Turbulent Priest: In "Dungeons & Dragnet", Preacher Paul refused to give the police force any reward money, despite their high power and their previous work. He said that he would not give them any reward money until they rid Paradise of every Dungeons & Dragons game in the city.

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