Characters / Orange Is The New Black Staff

Beware of spoilers. Only spoilers from the current season (7) are whited out.

M.C.C.

Jack

Jack Pearson

Played By: Michael Bryan French

The CEO of MCC.

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• Corrupt Corporate Executive: Jack isn't exactly corrupt, but he's most certainly callous and amoral.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He's a callous bastard, sure, but he does love his son in his own somewhat horrible way.
• Even Evil Has Standards: He fires a woman on the spot for an antisemitic joke, though he lets a poorly-used "Jewish question" statement from his son slide (partly because it was a honest mistake on Danny's part and partly because he admitted it was a poor choice of words).
• Greater-Scope Villain: Litchfield is just one of many facilities his company (mis)manages, and he doesn't take an active role in running it, but as head of the company he's ultimate responsible for the cost-cutting, neglect, and abuse that drive the show's main conflict from Season 3 onward.
• Insane Troll Logic: He seems to at least partially believe that Sophia's placement in SHU is actually protective custody.
• Oh, Crap!: His reaction when Crystal Burset and Danny confront him with evidence of Sophia's mistreatment.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: He's transparently sexist.
• White Anglo-Saxon Protestant: Of the stereotypical snobbish, pretentious and out-of-touch variety. He makes Piper's mother look down-to-earth in comparison.

Danny

Danny Pearson

Played By: Mike Birbiglia

The Director of Human Activities in the prison, which held most of the same responsibilities as the warden before MCC took over the prison. Pearson received the job due to his father's senior position at MCC and as a result had no real experience or qualifications for his job. One of his first acts was to force Caputo to rush the new hires on the job with inadequate training as a cost-saving measure.

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• Bunny-Ears Lawyer: Subverted. When first introduced he dresses and talks very casually, and often acts like a space cadet. If the viewer guessed he's secretly brilliant since he has a high corporate job despite his unprofessional demeanor, they're wrong; it's later revealed that he's really an unqualified dumbass who has no idea what he's doing, and only got his job through his father.
• Dumbass Has a Point: He's not the sharpest tool in the shed, but he's not wrong in pointing out that "long term priority" is a contradiction and that it's wrong for Sophia to be in SHU.
  • He has a very negative opinion of Linda, which he made clear to Caputo before he'd really caught on to the kind of person she really was.
• Heel–Face Turn: When he returns in Season 4, he's become a vocal critic of his father's company.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's roundly very disinterested and condescending, even when attempting to be nice in his passive-aggressive Bill Lumbergh way. However it's gradually made more and more apparent that he doesn't enjoy being a corporate tool and his condescension is more due to frustration than anything else, culminating in him quitting his job out of anger as a combination of his father's placating behavior and reluctance to let Sophia out of SHU.
• Screw This, I'm Out of Here!: Fed up with his father's callous behavior, he quits at the end of Season 3.
• "Well Done, Son" Guy: He'd quite like to please his father.

Linda

Linda Ferguson

Played By: Beth Dover

An MCC employee that works in purchasing.

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• Alpha Bitch: Revealed to have been one in her sorority in college.
• Ambiguously Bi: Starts an affair with Big Boo of all people. It's initially just to get Boo to protect her, but she seems pretty responsive when the two have sex.
• Ascended Extra: Linda had a single cameo in Season 3 that gave no indication that she'd become important later.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Linda is a sexy, genial woman but she cares nothing for the prisoners she's meant to care about.
  • Her backstory reveals her to have been this in her sorority days too, since she abandoned her heavily intoxicated "pisster" buddy to freeze to death out in the snow because she didn't want to miss the party inside, cried Crocodile Tears and lied to the police about being the last person to see Meggs before her death, then took over as the new Queen B of the sorority house a few days later.
• Crocodile Tears: In her backstory she got off being held liable for her sorority sister's death by lying about her neglect while crying big fake tears at the cop, while the rest of the sorority grieved for real in the background.
• A Day in the Limelight: "Pissters" in Season 5.
• Disproportionate Retribution: When Crystal Burset goes to Caputo's house to complain about Sophia's treatment, she pulls a gun on her.
• The Dragon: as of Season 6 she's promoted to Senior VP, making her MCC's chief minion.
• Fish out of Water: She spends Season 5 posing as a Litchfield inmate. She's completely out of her depths.
• Going Native: During her disguise as an inmate she gets really into her counterfeiter character. She also gets up close with the women's abysmal living conditions, though there is yet to find out if she'll get a chance to improve anything.
• Has a Type: Has a thing for Kavorka Man/ and women in suits.
• Hate Sink: Even with the shows Grey-and-Grey Morality she's possibly the least sympathetic character.

• Ignored Epiphany: Notes the awful conditions of Litchfield Minimum while she's trapped inside during the riot. Still manages to come out of it as an even worse person tha she was before.
• In-Series Nickname: Danny calls her "Linda the Sea Witch."
• Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: Season 5 offers occasional hints that she might be gaining some shreds of empathy or humility, but in Season 6 she goes back to remorselessly exploiting the inmates for profit as if she'd learned nothing from her experience during the riot.

• Karma Houdini: Despite arguably being the Greater-Scope Villain of the later seasons thanks to all the policy decisions she makes in the name of saving money and increasing MCC's profits, in the series finale she faces no consequences whatsoever for any of it, other than having to deal with the PR headache caused by Pennsatucky's death.
• Lack of Empathy: She gets bored and annoyed whenever Caputo tries to talk about the suffering and human rights violations inflicted on his inmates. She also tends to make her relationship with Caputo more about her, and when he denies her sex, she pours salt into the sauce that he's making. Late in season 4 it's revealed that she's literally never been inside a prison before, because she didn't see why it would be important.
  • Her backstory also reveals in Season 5 that she quickly brushed off the death of her sorority leader Meggs (that she directly caused) and admonished the other girls for not looking perky enough a few days later because they were, you know, grieving over their friend's death.

• Laser-Guided Karma: Big Boo makes sure she has a miserable time after finding out who she really is. Not only does she get everyone in the cafeteria to throw their disgusting lunches (that Linda was responsible for) at her, she also makes sure that the SWAT officer doesn't believe her when she says she's MCC.
• Pointy-Haired Boss: Becomes one to Figueroa in Season 6.
• Playing the Victim Card: While pretending to be a prisoner during the riot she's clearly loving it at first and has a lot of fun torturing Caputo and the guards. Then when things start to go south for her goes running to Caputo begging him to save her, he does not. Then when it's all over she uses her "trauma" to blackmail MCC into giving her a promotion which she then uses to make Caputo and Figueroa's lives miserable.
• Professional Butt-Kisser: Has a talent for finding the head bitch in any given situation (Meggs in her sorority days, the one with the gun in Litchfield) and suck up to her until she's in a position to get what she wants.

Josh

Josh

Played By: John Palladino

An MCC employee responsible for the PR after Poussey's death.

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• Corrupt Corporate Executive: He's only interested in what said about Poussey's death and Bayley's responsibility is good for MCC and what's not, not what's actually the truth. Although he's just doing his job.
• Pretty Boy: Described as this a few times and with a good reason.
• So Beautiful, It's a Curse: In season 5 half of the prison is lusting after him, with a few weak "benefits", like Angie deciding to let him win the Lichfield Idol despite his performance being the weakest one, and a load of wrong kind of interest, like several inmates constantly considering raping him.

Administrative Staff

Fig

Natalie "Fig" Figueroa

"Do what you have to do, or you're the one who gets fucked in the ass."

Played By: Alysia Reiner

"Why is it so hard for you people to understand? You're like babies. "Where's my present?" "Pay attention to me", "Give me things", " "Fix the heat", "Build a gym". I'm not your goddamn mommy. Grow up!"

At the start of the show, Figueroa is the corrupt prison assistant warden, ranking just below the never-seen warden. Figueroa claims to be a women's advocate for the prisoners but is generally unconcerned with them and refuses to get involved in their problems. Arrogant and condescending, she puts on a tough facade to disguise her own insecurities and somewhat fragile personality.

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• Aggressive Negotiations: Is sent to represent the governor in the Litchfield Riot negotiations. Initially she takes a firm but even handed approach to the negotiations (at least, when she's not getting into personal arguments with Caputo), but when it emerges that Humphrey was shot she threatens to terminate the negotiations on the spot and send in the riot squad unless the shooter is handed over immediately.
• Animal Motifs: Not on her, but she is compared to a giraffe by Black Cindy.
• The Chessmaster
• Corrupt Corporate Executive: of the rarer government variety.
  • Not only is she embezzling money from Litchfield's budget on herself to buy luxury purses and cars, but she seems to be actively suppressing any information about the various scandals going on in the prison from leaking out and leading to a larger investigation, probably to avoid being audited.
  • She has Tricia's body cremated immediately after being discovered even though her death was from drug overdose rather than hanging.
  • Has Pornstache merely suspended with pay after being caught in the act having sex with an inmate.
  • Strongly tries to dissuade Bennett from filing a report after discovering drugs being smuggled into the prison.
• Desk Jockey: Caputo accuses her of being this, and he's right. She turns up for one day to let the inmates know they can see her whenever they want, then promptly disappears. She doesn't give a damn about a single one of them and doesn't interact with them, as such she has some of the least amount of screen time of all the other staff members.
• Establishing Character Moment: Fig is introduced showing a video to the new inmates about all the "exciting activities" taking place at Litchfield, like classes and yoga. She also tells them that she's "a true advocate for women" and is free anytime for them. She then takes her very large and expensive-looking purse and leaves, brushing off Daya's question.
• Everyone Has Standards: As bad as she is, Fig is disgusted by the treatment of illegals in season 7 and how the ICE members involved don't care in the least about their plight. It reaches its height when she sees a pair of young children being put into a hearing on whether or not they stay in the U.S. when they clearly have no idea what is happening.
  ICE Agent: An illegal is an illegal, even if they're a mini.
  Fig: And a piece of shit is a piece of shit even when he's full grown.
• Faux Affably Evil: Oh boy, does she know how to turn on the charm.
• Formerly Fat: Revealed in season 6. Courtney Cox was pulled onstage at a concert instead of her, because Fig was too fat.
  Not for long after that. The BS incident made me stop diddling with bulimia and get serious about my anorexia.
• Good Adultery, Bad Adultery: Figueroa finds out that her husband is cheating on her with a dude. She feels hurt and eventually has a more sympathetic casual affair with Caputo.
• Hidden Depths: Despite her corruption and the horrible way she treats the inmates, Fig is shown to have an unhappy life married to a husband who doesn't want to sleep with her, secretly hoping for a baby, struggling with bulimia, and tirelessly enduring fundraising parties where people disrespect her.
• Hidden Heart of Gold:
  • Implied. In Season 6 Caputo asks her to show her true self when going out with him, and she takes a level in kindness, suggesting her general Jerkass attitude is a front she puts up in order to look tougher.
  • Goes out of her way to secure a detainee an abortion in Season 7, eventually sneaking the woman a pill to do the job.
    • It's worth noting that it's heavily implied that in order to get the abortion pills, she gave up her own chance to have a baby.
• Humiliation Conga: The Season 2 finale punishes Fig for her misdeeds from earlier in the series. After catching her husband cheating on her with a male staffer, Fig is found by Caputo crying in her office. After briefly comforting her, Caputo reveals (with a thickly stacked folder in hand) that he has knowledge of her previous embezzlements and plans to tell on her to the warden. In an effort to dissuade him, Fig gives him a blowjob. However, she then finds out that he had given the information to the warden already, and Caputo subsequently takes her job.
• I Did What I Had to Do: Her corrupt practices and embezzlement directly harm the inmates, which she doesn't seem to care one whit about. She rationalizes this behavior as a way to fund her husband's state senate campaign, telling herself that he will fix the various issues with due process that lead to people getting sent to prison in the first place. And if you can keep people out of the system in the future, who the hell cares about the people that are already being screwed? How much she actually believes this is up to debate, of course.
• I Reject Your Reality: She relates she was in the audience for Bruce Springsteen when he was filming the "Dancing in the Dark" music video and had Springsteen pulled her, rather than Courteney Cox, on stage, Fig would have become a famous actress. Fig doesn't seem to grasp Cox wasn't chosen at random, but specifically cast for the video.
• Iron Lady: Fig is stone-cold, but she perceives herself as needing to be to handle the demands of her job.
• Jerkass Has a Point: When she leaves and Caputo, who's criticized her and warred with her, takes her job she questions how good he will be when faced with the prison issues she's been dealing with.
• Karma Houdini: While she is finally fired for embezzling in the Season 2 Finale, her theft is still kept under wraps, with her reputation and her husband's election undamaged. The Warden even writes a (public) heartfelt letter expressing regret that she has to go and commending her for her good work at Litchfield. Caputo then spends the next season thanklessly trying to save the prison from being closed thanks to her embezzling, with everyone missing her and blaming him for the mess she made. Caputo lampshades this by asking, "How do you keep getting away with shit?"
• Lean and Mean: She's very skinny and quite vicious when she needs to be.
• Magic Skirt: In one scene, she's sitting on a desk, talking to someone, in a rather short skirt. It's digitally drawn over, likely for the actresses's modesty.
• Show Some Leg: Her supporting tactic during negotiations with males.
• Smug Snake: When she's not trying to charm someone, she oozes condescension.
• Surrounded by Idiots: The demands of her job include dealing with the guards being repulsive and Caputo being inept as much as anything.
• Took a Level in Kindness: In Season 6 she starts dating Caputo and he manages to bring out a better side of her.

Litchfield Guards

Bell

Wanda Bell

Played By: Catherine Curtin

A prison guard, Bell is gruff and displays a general apathy to others. Nonetheless, she tends to be the most professional of the guards and takes her work seriously, especially the occasional visits from the Scared Straight program. During these visits, she displays a much deeper insight into individual inmates' histories and personalities than the other guards.

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• The Baroness: Initially comes off as one of the Rosa Klebb variety, though we eventually learn that she's actually straight and not as nasty as initial impressions would suggest.
• Deadpan Snarker: Bell has a very dry sense of humor.
• The Guards Must Be Crazy: She get it on with O'Neill from time to time meaning they both get Distracted by the Sexy.
• Hidden Depths: Wanda has a very sweet relationship with Scott O'Neil, which is adorable even when they bicker with each other. She also loves kids.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She's pretty jaded and grumpy, but isn't openly sadistic like Mendez and is a good person at heart. She has lots of humanizing moments, particularly with her boyfriend Scott and their loving relationship. She also allows Morello and her new husband to consummate their marriage, despite conjugal visits being banned in federal prison. And when Caputo sells out to MCC she looks deeply disappointed rather than angry, suggesting that she genuinely respected him.
• My Biological Clock Is Ticking: Discussed and Averted. When taking Pennsitucky out to buy party decorations, she reveals to the other female CO that she wants kids one day. When asked if she should be worried about her age, she reveals that several women in her family (including her mother) successfully gave birth in their 50's and 60's, so she's "got time." She shows up in season five quite pregnant. She was not kidding.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: Wanda isn't the nicest woman in the world, but she's basically a decent person and can be reasoned with.

O'Neill

Scott O'Neill

Played By: Joel Marsh Garland

An overweight and generally good-natured prison guard in a relationship with Wanda Bell. He is frequently shown eating, despite claiming to be on different fad diets.

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• Affectionate Nickname: Bell occasionally calls him "panda."
• Ascended Extra: He steadily increases in appearances until we see details of his home life.
• Berserk Button: Mentioning 'red velvet' to him is a bad idea. It's one of the few things besides Catholicism that really upsets him.
• Big Fun: He's a big guy and easily the nicest guard in Litchfield.
• Gentle Giant: He's tall and heavyset and a very sweet person, to the point that even inmates like him.
• Happily Married: To Wanda and expecting their first child in Season 5.
• Hidden Depths: O'Neill shares a very tender scene with Wanda Bell in which they discuss their relationship. He also wrote 300 words on Civil War memorabilia and is a decent banjolele player. It's also revealed that he resents Catholicism not just because he was punished an unfair amount of times during his Catholic schooling, but also that his family's Catholicism trapped his parents in an unhappy marriage which caused him to suffer. He also expresses disgust about a Catholic belief in the original sin.
• Hypocritical Humor: Criticizes red velvet popularity for being a "fad," yet most of his appearances in the first two seasons involved him being on a new fad diet.
• Irony: He's a nice guy to the prison inmates but is shown to be a customer from hell toward retail workers (particularly the guy at the donut shop), while Bell is tough on the prison inmates but is nicer toward retail workers.
• Nice Guy: He's easily the nicest and most humane of all the guards, to the extent that the inmates generally consider him a favorite.
• Noodle Incident: When ordered to distract the nuns in the Season 2 finale, O'Neill implies through conversation that he'd suffered a fair amount of punishment from his superiors in Catholic school.
• Running Gag: He's always on some kind of new diet plan. This is gradually phased out.
• Serious Business: Red velvet is a stupid fad and everyone knows it! The only thing that makes it taste good is the cream cheese frosting, "which is meant to be put on carrot cake like God intended."
• Token Good Teammate: Of the guards, he's the nicest and therefore one of the more popular guards among the inmates.

Bennett

John Bennett

Played By: Matt McGorry

A prison guard and former soldier who is in a secret relationship with Daya.

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• Artificial Limbs: Has a prosthetic leg below his left knee.
• Beware the Nice Ones: John is generally a nice guy, but he has a tendency to abuse his authority when he gets stressed or upset.
• Disappeared Dad: He leaves Daya and his job without an explanation, abandoning their child in the process, after meeting the dysfunctional relatives who would raise it.
• Dirty Coward: Despite all his sweet moments and kindly nature, at the end of the day he amounts to an impulsive coward. Every act of bravery is at the repeated urging of someone else.
• Foil: To Piscatella's guards in Season 4. Like the new guards, he's a veteran turned CO. Unlike the new guards, his experience as a veteran is treated in a much more nuanced way.
• Hidden Heart of Gold: Like Susan, Bennett acts rather abrasively towards inmates as part of his job. However, his interactions with Daya are genuinely sweet.
• Ignored Confession: At Daya's urging, he tells Caputo he's the father of Daya's child after it was assumed to be Pornstache. Caputo refuses to take action because he doesn't want a scandal immediately after he assumes Fig's job.
• I Want to Be a Real Man: His issues with feeling emasculated tend to have bad consequences for the black inmates, as he takes it out on them when he has a Freak Out.
• New Meat: He's pretty new to the prison, with Pornstache showing him the ropes in much of the first season. A Season 3 flashback shows him being new meat in Afghanistan, including an epic chew-out by a Drill Sergeant Nasty.
• Noble Bigot with a Badge: Downplayed, but he expressed incredulous horror at Pornstache even considering having sex with Sophia. (And the issue was very pointedly not with consent or losing his job; issues Bennett later runs into in his own relationship with Daya.) His Kick the Dog moments tend to be directed at the black inmates. This is not discussed or explored, but is a fairly consistent pattern.
• Phony Veteran: Zig-zagged. He did serve in Afghanistan, but his prosthetic leg is not a war wound. He lost it in a dirty hot tub in Orlando.
• Put on a Bus: Abandons Daya, their unborn child, and Litchfield altogether relatively early in Season 3 after he becomes overwhelmed by the mess he's gotten into. Daya is bitter about his abandonment. In Season 5, she draws a mocking mural of him.
• Screw This, I'm Outta Here: After having dinner with Cesar and Daya's extended 'family', Bennett heads for the hills without even giving notice at his job.

Maxwell

Eliqua Maxwell

Played By: Lolita Foster

A female prison guard, she is most often assigned to watch the gate to the prison, allowing approved vendors to deliver goods. While at the gate, she often spends her time reading science fiction books.

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• Berserk Button: She does not like it when black inmates call her "sister."
• Deadpan Snarker: In the S3 premiere when Wanda expresses her contemplation about motherhood.
  "You got a time machine?"
• Everyone Has Standards: She was actually baffled by Wanda's suggestion of giving Jimmy more time of her sentence considering Jimmy's 100 years old.
• Meta Guy: She's quite amused and entertained by the Piper/Larry/Alex Love Triangle, and derails Pornstache's search for contraband in the vegetable truck.
  Sounds like a horror movie, doesn't it? The Vegetable People? Like a giant celery serial killer, carrying a machete, or broccoli lightin' shit up with a flame-thrower. "Who's a smoothie, now, bitches?" [Pornstache has already left] ... Asshole. Shit's funny.
• Nice Girl: Not as nice as O'Neill or Fischer due to her stern nature, but she's one of the few staff members who will casually converse with the inmates. In S 2 E 6, she and Piper chat for a bit, and in the S3 premiere, with Pennsatucky, where she even takes the latter's racist comment "Only African Americans smoke crack" with stride.

Donaldson

Wade Donaldson

Played By: Brendan Burke

A somewhat cranky and curmudgeonly guard who is perpetually worn-out by the antics of the inmates that he has to deal with. Nevertheless, he is surprisingly compassionate and good at dealing with difficult situations - on one occasion, he manages to help Daya recover from a panic attack almost immediately after discovering that she is having one, despite Bennett having spent ages trying to calm her.

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• Ascended Extra: He becomes more prominent throughout the progression of Season 2. His main role seemed to be to rounding up the numbers when the more prominent guards are just one guy short of completing a scene's needs. In Season 3, he grows in prominence.
• Gag Penis: Maybe. Suzanne cites him as the inspiration for Admiral Rodcocker, but she might have just said it to get the obsessive fans of her erotic fiction off her back.
• Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He orders a pregnant Daya to do 20 jumping jacks when she's hyperventilating over the close-quarters the inmates have to live in during a rain storm. Initially it seems like one of the most left-field and sadistic Kick the Dog moments in the series, but it turns out it's actually good advice that eases her claustrophobia.
• What the Hell, Hero?: He gives one to Caputo in Season 4.

Ford

Charles Ford

Played By: Germar Terrell Gardner

One of the guards, he often escorts Morello and Rosa to Rosa's chemo appointments.

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• Ascended Extra: Ford becomes much more prominent in Season 3, acting as a particularly visible voice for the guards.
• Informed Attractiveness: Some of the inmates and O'Neill consider him to be a very beautiful man.
• Reasonable Authority Figure: He's an even-tempered, competent man who does his job well.
• Stupid Sexy Flanders: O'Neill has a very poorly concealed man-crush on him.

Luschek

Joel Luschek

"It's Luschek. Like in 'loose check'."

Played By: Matt Peters

The sarcastic, uncaring and barely competent young prison guard who runs the electrical shop. He displays blatant racism, and generally doesn't care what the women in the shop do as long as they leave him alone, though he develops a friendship with Nichols. His method of teaching repairs tends to consist of handing his inmates a printed manual for the broken appliance and giving them a few minutes to read before sending them off.

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• The Alcoholic: It's strongly implied that him coming into work drunk is a frequent occurrence. He also spikes his drinks within Litchfield.
  You gotta show up high your first day. That way, they think that's who ya are.
• The Atoner:
  • In Season 4 he commits himself to getting Nicky out of the Max.
  • After being indirectly responsible for Pennsatucky's death in Season 7, he takes the heat for Gloria's being caught with a cellphone, costing him his job, but saving her from getting another five years added onto her sentence.
• Black Comedy Rape:
  • Judy King blackmails him into sleeping with her after she helps him to retrieve Nicky from Max.
  • He gets aroused when scared and he catches the eye of Zirconia who proceeds to molest him when he's a hostage. He seems to enjoy it to a certain degree.
• Brilliant, but Lazy: He's not stupid but has no work ethic and is committed to doing as little as possible.
• Card-Carrying Villain: He seems entirely aware of what a horrid person he is and doesn't seem troubled in the least about it.
• Deadpan Snarker: He has a very sardonic, cruel sense of humor.
• Dirty Coward: During the mass exodus of prisoners in the season 3 finale he sees it and just hides, letting it happen.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Bad as he is, Luschek's laziness also means he never goes out of his way to punish or hurt inmates and he never shows any overtly sadistic or cruel tendencies, leaving others alone as long as they return the favor. He also seems unnerved by the casual cruelty and abusive behavior of Piscatella's men.
• Fat Bastard: Not fat exactly, but certainly tubby. He's also an idiotic jerk.
• Incompatible Orientation: It's implied he had a crush on Nicky.
• Jerkass: He's a lazy racist who treats other people like a genuine inconvenience.
• Jerkass Has a Point: Despite many people hating him for it, in reality Luschek wasn't that much out of line with turning Nicky in. He didn't bust her for owning drugs at the first place, agreed to help her (though not because of a good heart) to get rid of them and even forgave her after she told him they were stolen. It was after she lied to him the second time and seriously endangered him by stashing a pack of heroin in his desk, when he finally snapped at her for being untrustworthy and threw her under the bus.
• Kavorka Man: Not ugly but also not much to look at in terms of appearance and a lazy, sarcastic jerk who seems to take pride in being as awful as possible. Yet he's managed to have sexual encounters with a few fairly attractive women over the course of the series.
• Laughably Evil: Less laughable and less evil than Mendez, but he does provide some black humor.
• A Lighter Shade of Grey: He's not particularly cruel, won't go further than some obnoxious remarks against the prisoners and actually will hang out with some of them in a rather friendly manner.
• The Load: Not only does he contribute nothing, he actually causes problems. He's lazy in general, working the bare minimum he can get away with.
• Meaningful Name: As noted above, his name is pronounced "loose check" which is a good insight into his lazy personality and habit of doing as little as possible.
• Mr. Fixit: Although at no point is he ever actually shown to successfully fix anything, unless you count him managing to swap out a printer's toner cartridge in the Season 4 premiere. Nicky lampshades that when she shows him how the inmates are lighting their contraband cigarettes with a battery and a gum wrapper — he asks how it works, and her response is an incredulous "You're head of electrical." Weirdly, it's shown in Season 6 that he does know enough about programming to create an app to do the draft for Fantasy Inmate, suggesting he might have skills when it comes to computers, just not any other kind of electrical device.
• Odd Friendship: With Judy King.
• Pet the Dog: His attempt to comfort Gloria, when she's imprisoned with him, in season 5. Later he does the same in season 6 when she's put into the SHU, though she isn't having it that time.
• Punch-Clock Villain: Luschek's main goal is to sit at the back of his shop and do as little work as possible with as little interaction with inmates as possible. He's a jerk but he won't go out of his way to hurt anyone as long as they leave him alone.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: He makes no attempt to hide his prejudices and flaunts them in front of the inmates.
• The Slacker: He's committed to doing as little as possible, at work and in general.
• Slouch of Villainy: This is Luschek's default mode of sitting. He constantly looks like he's trying to melt into whatever chair he's sitting in.
• Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Played with in the show's final two episodes; his forgetting to get Pennsatucky extra time for her GED exam sends her into a downward spiral that results in her suffering an accidental drug overdose, if not being outright Driven to Suicide. However, this has the indirect result of preventing the death of Taystee, who did intend to commit suicide until she stumbled across Pennsatucky's body; Taystee subsequently rediscovers her will to live after finding that the girls she tutored — Pennsatucky included — all passed their exams, and with Judy King's help she subsequently sets up a foundation to provide loans to help paroled prisoners re-establish their lives in the outside world.
• What Does She See in Him?: Why he had a chance with a girl like Fischer is a mystery.
• With This Herring: While he almost never succeeds in fixing anything, half of the time this is because budget cuts mean he simply doesn't have what he needs to carry out the job. Just to name one instance, his attempt to lead some inmates in getting a gas generator working during a storm-induced blackout fails due to the slight matter of the prison not having any gas.

Pornstache

George "Pornstache" Mendez

"This shit, that shit, blue shit, bat shit, it doesn't matter what you do. It's the doing that makes you dirty."

Played By: Pablo Schreiber

"They think I'm so tall my feelings don't get hurt."

A corrupt, perverted and seemingly psychopathic prison guard who frequently abuses his authority. He seems to be the most ruthless of all the COs, and is seen sexually assaulting and humiliating the inmates at every opportunity. His personality can be both laughably exaggerated as well as frightening.

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• Accidental Pun: Upon being asked whether homosexuals have appropriated mustaches as a gay symbol, Pornstache denies this, insisting that they're "for fucking men!"
• The Aggressive Drug Dealer: He's not ready to just let his little side business dry up.
• As the Good Book Says...: He quotes Proverbs when Trisha is further stuck in his drug running schemes. Unlike most examples of this trope, Pornstache is definitely not religious or saintly.
  "The borrower is slave to the lender. That's from Proverbs, right there. Saw it on a bumper sticker."
• Beard of Sorrow: Season 5 has him with one of these since getting out of prison on probation.
• Beauty Inversion: Without the spiky hair and creepy black mustache, clean-shaven Pablo Schreiber in reality looks like he could make the cover for GQ magazine; fans of Mendez are repeatedly amazed at how little Schreiber resembles his on-screen character in real life.[1]
• Because You Were Nice to Me: Immediately falls for Daya, because she was the first person who expressed interest in just talking to him. Although his behavior makes it very obvious, why nobody else ever bothers.

• The Bad Guys Do All The Dirty Work: His dressing-down of the judgmental, God-bothering Pennsatucky in Season 1.
• Can't Get Away with Nuthin':
  • Maybe having sex with an inmate is not 'nuthin', but Mendez has thus far groped prisoners, threatened one of them with rape, and it's implied he's occasionally blackmailed them into giving him sexual favors (implied with Tricia and tried this with Sophia) — and we talk here only about his sexual-related abuse. And yet he gets punished for the only act he committed with honest intentions and during which he was the party being used. Karma is a bitch.
  • He harassed and was a jerk to nearly everybody around him, but ended being screwed over by the only two people he generally loved and cared for.
• Dirty Cop: Mendez has been smuggling drugs into the prison for a while.
• Even Bad Men Love Their Mamas: Pornstache may be a misogynistic asshole but he loves his mother dearly, and she loves him in turn despite his flaws.
• Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He's desperately in love with Daya, and wants to do everything for (what he thinks is) their child. His last ever scene in the series has him playing with the daughter she gives birth to happily.
• Even Evil Has Standards: Given how eagerly he abuses his power and authority, it says a lot when even he believes that Healy throwing Piper into the SHU for dancing with Alex in a somewhat provocative manner was uncalled for.
  Caputo: I don't know what the hell she's doing in Seg in the first place. Christ, even Mendez said it was uncalled for and that guy lives to throw people in the box!
• Evil Is Bigger: He's easily the tallest character on the show, standing at a whopping 6'5.
• Foil: His actions provide contrast to the ones of other people who were put in a similar positions.
  • To Bennett, most noticeably. Mendez is a criminal and a monumental jerk who enjoys abusing his power and harassing the prisoners, while Bennett is a personable, all-around nice guy. However when faced with the information they impregnated a prisoner (the same woman, no less), Mendez owns it loudly and proudly, jumps to take responsibility right away, not even minding being sent away to prison for it; while Bennett is wishy-washy about it, tries to avoid the trouble as much as possible until someone else presses him enough, and ends up bailing on Daya. Also, Mendez despite his villainy is sincerely loyal to his "friend" Bennett, while Bennett, albeit reluctantly, agrees to make the unsuspecting Mendez the scapegoat for his own actions.
  • To Coates, though the two never meet. Mendez owns being a sadistic asshole towards the prisoners, while Coates has a meek personality and seemed like a nice guy who would treat the prisoners like people. Mendez has once even made a prisoner drive away from prison and threatened her with rape — but turned out to be bluffing. Coates, in contrast, does to Pennsatucky exactly what Mendez wouldn't do to Morello, all while convincing himself that she asked for it and he isn't doing anything wrong.
• Girl on Girl Is Hot: This is why he isn't bothered by Alex and Piper's raunchy dancing in "Fucksgiving."
• Hypocritical Humor: Complains that women see him as sex object and not as a human being with feelings ... after treating the inmates as objects to play with to his enjoyment.
• Ignored Confession/I Reject Your Reality: After being told that Daya's baby isn't his, he ignores the confession and insists that the baby is his, because his love for Daya and the child have become his Living Emotional Crutch in prison.
  • As of Season 5, he still considers the child to be his and is moved to tears when he finds out the child survived.
• Jerkass: Pornstache is the most hated guard in the entire prison due to his sadistic tendencies, corruption and needless cruelty. He becomes something of a Jerkass Woobie when he reveals how lonely he is, and when he reappears in prison in Season 3, he looks very rough and breaks down while talking to his mother.
• Large Ham: He loves hamming it up; special mention goes for when he tears apart Piper and Miss Claudette's cube while humming 'In the Hall of the Mountain King'.
• Laser-Guided Karma: He's a sadistic, tyrannical, sexually abusive guard who makes the inmates' time much harder than it has to be. Toward the end of Season 2, he's hauled off to prison and his brief appearance in Season 3 indicates that his stay has been hell as well.
• Laughably Evil: His over-the-top villainy and general asshole behavior is sometimes played for laughs and always has a very theatrical flavor.
• Momma's Boy: He absolutely adores his mother, reverting to a childlike state when around her.
• Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: According to the Canadian-born Pablo Schreiber his character George Mendez is a Texas native; an idea he came up with himself to further distinguish him from the other characters. Mendez's Texan accent is heavy at certain points, lighter at other points and sometimes disappears altogether.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: Zig-zagged. Despite being sexist, some of his views are more progressive than Bennett's; when the latter is shocked that Mendez is interested in having sex with Burset, Mendez casually tells him that he's a man of the present, not of the past. Although he may just be bisexual, as he claims anyone who used to own a dick "knows what it wants."
• Pornstache: His namesake.
• Put on a Bus: At the end of Season 1, he's suspended for having sex with Daya. Fig hires him back a little over midway through Season 2, but he's sent off again a few episodes later when the staff finds out she's pregnant. After that he appears a couple times more, but only for single scenes.
• Soft-Spoken Sadist: Considering how much of a ridiculously asshole Large Ham he usually is, it's pretty creepy when he acts like this while trying to intimidate Morello into telling him about Red's smuggling contraband.
• Tall, Dark, and Handsome: He's very tall, dark-haired and handsome even if his questionable fashion choices and obnoxious personality undermine his looks.
• Trans Chaser: He is interested in having sex with transgender inmate Sophia.
• Villainous Crush: He has one on Daya, who he becomes downright obsessed with.

Fischer

Susan Fischer

Played By: Lauren Lapkus

A rookie prison guard, hired onto the prison staff during Piper's time at Litchfield. Fischer used to bag groceries at the store where Piper and Larry shopped, and recalls how Piper used to be a difficult customer. However she is friendly toward Piper, informing her that she does not think any less of her for being in prison, since the only difference between them is that Fischer didn't get caught making mistakes. Piper appreciates her kind words and convinces her to reopen the prison track. She displays a perpetually naïve and cheerful demeanor, which endears some (especially Caputo) and irritates others. She struggles to come across as authoritative and strict, and her attempts to appear tough do not appear to intimidate any of the inmates at the slightest, who on occasion, even admonish Susan in return.

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• Can't Get Away with Nuthin': She is the only guard who doesn't want to be rude or stern to the inmates, but is pressured to. In the first season she tries twice: one try results in ruining an emotional moment Yoga and Janae were having, and leaving her guilty, the second in the despairing Miss Claudette trying to strangle her.
• Hidden Heart of Gold: Pushed into dehumanizing the inmates by Caputo due to her kindness towards them. Unfortunately, she picked the wrong day to play rough with Miss Claudette.
• Minion with an F in Evil: Not that the guards are evil for the most part, but she seems too nice to be an effective guard.
• Naïve Newcomer: In the prison; she hasn't had the opportunity to become strict or apathetic like the other guards.
• Nice Girl: She's a genuinely sweet and thoughtful young woman.
• Oblivious to Love: She never seems to pick up on Caputo's crush on her. In Season 2, when he offers to get her off of work to come watch his band play on Valentine's Day, she misinterprets it as a group invitation and brings along some of the prison staff with her. Subverted in Season 7, when it turns out that she really did know all along that Caputo had feelings for her, and only held off on telling him she wasn't interested because she thought she'd get fired.
• Put on a Bus: Midway through Season 2, she tries to stand up to Caputo, pointing out that the more stringent policies he'd been enforcing could have harmful effects on the inmates. Caputo, frustrated at the abuse he'd been taking from his superiors and possibly spurned by Fischer's ignorance to his feelings, ends up firing her. In Season 7 she returns, taking down Caputo in the process after coming forward about his sexual harassment while working at Litchfield.
• Shrinking Violet: Fischer is too nervous and uncertain to impose any kind of authority in the prison.
• Too Good for This Sinful Earth: A nonlethal example. She's one of few guards that try to get along with the inmates and steps up against Caputo's crackdown, silently urged on by the other guards who abandon her when she's fired. Afterwards, Nicky spells it out for her: she's a compassionate, intelligent (and beautiful) woman with her life ahead of her and she should be grateful for being kicked out since prison would drag her down over the years until she's as jaded as everyone else.

M.C.C.-Hired Guards

Gerber

CO Baxter "Gerber" Bayley

Played By: Alan Aisenberg

One of the new COs hired after MCC took over the prison. He is nicknamed "Gerber" by Alex upon first seeing him due to his young age.

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• Black Comedy: His Bungled Suicide following Poussey's death by drinking dog hair dye that turns out to be non-toxic.
• Break the Cutie: Due to his poor training, Bayley accidentally kills Poussey while trying to handle a violent outbreak of Suzanne's.
• Bungled Suicide: Attempts to kill himself by drinking hair dye for dogs. His mother later informs him said dye is non-toxic.
• The Cutie: He is adorable, to the point where Caputo tries to have him out of the prison before it corrupts him.
• Disproportionate Retribution: As a result of improper training and being a jittery fellow anyway, he goes way overboard when an inmate makes a complaint. He promptly pepper sprays two inmates, Donaldson and himself.
• Foil: To Poussey. Both were arrested as teenagers for marijuana possession, though Bailey got a stern lecture and some trolling from the cops, while Poussey was incarcerated. They also cross paths briefly in Poussey's flashback episode. The fact that they ended up as an inmate and guard respectively has more to do with privilege and circumstance rather than their individual actions.
• Ignored Confession: His attempts to surrender to law enforcement after Poussey's death are met with dismissal.
  • To be fair, he confessed to a local sheriff (who lacks any jurisdiction, the prison being Federal property.) while drunk. The guy couldn't arrest him even if he believed Gerger's story.
• Karma Houdini: The variant of when a character is this trope whether they like or not. He shares the inmates' belief that he deserves to be punished and imprisoned for Poussey's death. All throughout Season 5 he tries in vain to receive some form of punishment, from drunkenly turning himself over to the cops, spectacularly failing to kill himself and even being unable to receive a beating or criminal charges from Poussey's father. His freedom seems to be his own hell.
• Manchild: Despite being 21, he's very immature and seems to think like he is in junior high school rather than act like a legal, functional adult.
• Must Make Amends: Desperately tries to do this for his Accidental Murder of Poussey, but absolutely no one takes him seriously for it.
• My God, What Have I Done?: His accidental killing of Poussey hits him very hard. He tries to turn himself in during Season 5.
• New Meat: He's one of the new COs brought in by MCC. His youth results in the inmates nicknaming him 'Gerber'.
• Nice Guy: He is one of the nicest members of the prison guards as he never intentionally tries to mistreat the prisoners.

Coates

CO Charlie "Donuts" Coates

Played By: James McMenamin

One of the new correctional officers hired after MCC lowers the prison's employment standards. Previously working at a donuts store frequented by O'Neill and Bell, he comes to the prison and becomes friends with Tiffany after being introduced to her for a van errand.

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• The Atoner: In season 4 after the realization that he raped Tiffany, he tries to earn her forgiveness through apologizing to her which even included making a statement that if he could go back in time he would not have raped her and treated her the way he did before it happened. Also after he starts treating the other prisoners with more kindness and starts caring more about their needs and is against how the new guards treat them.
• Asshole Victim: Unknowingly for him, he was very close to being one — and not figuratively — when Boo decided to avenge Pennsatucky by raping him with a broomstick, but they didn't go through it.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: He seem like a nice dorky guy, until he rapes Tiffany, but subverted in that he didn't intentionally mean to rape her and is horrified at what he done.
• Characterization Marches On: Originally he seemed like he was a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing and was really a They Look Just Like Everyone Else!, irredeemable rapist. Later seasons seem to go out of their way to humanize him and make him one of the more reasonable guards by giving him Everyone Has Standards moments to the other guards' sadism and have him apologize to Tiffany as seen below.
• Dirty Coward: While the other guards at least try to resist the inmates and restore order during the riot, he hides in the ceiling. When he gets his hand on a gun, he uses it to save himself without a thought for the hostages.
• Easily Forgiven: He apologizes to Tiffany and claims he didn't think he raped her and because of this she eventually forgives him. Boo points out how ridiculous it is for her to forgive him for rape and refuses to be her friend for awhile as a result. Though justified in that as Tiffany explains later she has to live around him while she is in prison and that she forgave him for herself because she didn't want to carry the grief from what he did to her around with her, her whole life.
• Everyone Has Standards: A rapist as he is, he is still horrified by the new guards' treatment of the prisoners and repulsed by Luscheck's casual asshole'ism.
• Forgiven, but Not Forgotten: Boo eventually accepts that Tiffany has forgiven him and that she will tolerate him for her sake, but when she encounters him at the showers she slaps him and tells him that if he ever hurts Tiffany again she will kill him.
• Hate Sink: He seemed like a nice guy and got along with Pennsatucky until he raped her, but subverted in season 4 when it is revealed that he didn't know he raped her and generally assumed it was consensual because before it happened they were attracted to each other and he later tries to atone for what he did to her by apologizing and he also tries to treat the other prisoners with respect and calls out the new guards on their treatment of them.
• Karmic Rape: Subverted. Pennsatucky and Big Boo plan to drug him and rape him with a broom handle. Subverted when Pennsatucky changes her mind—she's been raped, and she's not going to do that to someone else.
• Karma Houdini: Downplayed. He is drugged by Pennsatucky and Big Boo once, but neither have the stomach to rape him with the broom, instead making for excellent Black Comedy as they argue about who should do the deed.
• Knight of Cerebus: His arrival in season 3 and eventual rape of Pennsatucky is the first sign of the damage that M.C.C.'s hiring practices will do to Litchfield, and paves the way for even worse guards in season 4.
• A Lighter Shade of Black: What he starts looking like when Piscatella's pack arrives in Season 4.
• My God, What Have I Done?: Coates doesn't seem to realize that what he did to Pennsatucky was rape; when she spells it out for him, he's confused and horrified. When Luschek acts negligently towards Murphy, he becomes furious and rants about how they're meant to look after the inmates.]]
• Obliviously Evil: He was convinced that he didn't rape Doggett, since he said "I love you" during the act.
• Questionable Consent: The reveal in season 4 that he didn't think that what he did to Tiffany was rape and has been walking around thinking it was just sex. Though some Retcon might be involved...
• Rape as Drama: He perpetrates that against Pennsatucky in the van.
• Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: The reason he stick out among the Laughably Evil or Sympathetic Murderer kind of folk as the true and irredeemable villain. Though in season 4 it is revealed that he thought it was consensual sex and is horrified at himself when he finds out otherwise.
• This Is Unforgivable!: Boo temporarily stops talking to Tiffany because she forgave him for raping her citing that you don't forgive someone for raping you just because they apologized.

Sikowitz

CO Erin Sikowitz

Played By: Eden Malyn

One of the new COs at the prison, she is first seen participating in sexual harassment and self-defense training with the other new hires.

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• What Happened to the Mouse?: She stops showing up sometime in Season 4.

Piscatella's Guards

Piscatella

Capt. Desmond "Desi" Piscatella

Played By: Brad William Henke

A guard that previously worked in Max. Piscatella responded when the other guards from Litchfield walked out, and his performance impressed Caputo enough to get him appointed as the new captain of the guards. Piscatella is shown to be very strict with his methods, and becomes very unpopular with the inmates.

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• Arch-Enemy: He grows to share a special enmity with Red.
• The Beard: Piscatella mentions that he brought one to his senior prom when he makes it clear to Chapman that flirting with him won't get her anything, since he's actually gay.
• Beard of Evil: He has a thick beard and he isn't particularly sympathetic. He shaves it off in season 5 so the prisoners can't grab onto it.
• Big Bad: Of Season 4, as the captain of a new group of sadistic guards. Season 5 sees his role minimized for a few episodes before he comes back in a big way as the most dangerous antagonist seen so far in the series.
• Black-and-White Morality: He sees all veterans and COs as good, and all criminals as bad. This becomes a problem when his unscrupulous underlings steadily increase their abuses against inmates yet he refuses to stop them because, hey, the inmates are criminals. Therefore they automatically deserve whatever his COs do to them. Even when Humps forces two inmates to fight and one gets beat up so bad she's sent to Medical, and Poussay is killed.
• Boom, Headshot!: After Red lets him leave peacefully, he is accidentally shot in the face by an over-eager riot guard.
• Brown Note: He's fond of using a bullhorn to gain attention. The inmates and staff alike quickly grow to dread it.
• Compensating for Something: The inmates speculate that it's usually the short men who act like they have something to prove, yet Piscatella is as tall as a building. They then giggle that he must have a Teeny Weenie. When Red discovers that he is homosexual, she pays him back for his unlawful interrogation of her by asking if a big military man like him has such a huge chip on his shoulder because of Camp Gay stereotypes.
• Cure Your Gays: His mother sent him to pray-the-gay-away camps when he was a kid. Naturally, it didn't take, and he used this as evidence that "people don't change".
• Even Evil Has Standards: Piscatella might be harsh and ill-tempered, but he's a professional through-and-through who lacks his colleagues' sadistic or neglectful tendencies. When Lolly is having a freak-out, he's outraged by the other guards merely looking on and laughing. This comes to an abrupt end after a dead guard is discovered and he goes on the warpath.
• Establishing Character Moment: His introduction establishes him very thoroughly: he barges into Litchfield dressed in full riot gear, takes merciless control of the situation and makes sure everyone knows he's a deadly serious, and physically imposing, professional.
• A Father to His Men: A rare negative example. He cares a lot about the people under his command, but since most of them are horrible people and he does practically nothing to prevent them from mistreating the inmates, he comes across as very unsympathetic.
• Freudian Excuse: While it's not treated in any way as an actual excuse for his monstrous treatment of the inmates, Piscatella does have a reason for his hatred of prisoners. It's revealed that during his past in a men's federal prison a pack of inmates attacked and raped his lover. He however ignores that his lover was an inmate as well.
• Gayngst: Understated, but still present. It is implied as part of the reason why he's such as hardass is due to constantly being derided and underestimated due to his homosexuality. He was sent to a "pray the gay away" camp when he was a boy and then later his prisoner lover was beaten and raped due to being gay and being in a relationship with him.
• He-Man Woman Hater: Piscatella very much dislikes women, at one point saying that they don't respond to authority the way men do so it's necessary to make an example out of them to remind them who's in charge. An interesting example as, since Piscatella is gay, he doesn't view women as sexual objects. Rather, he seems to believe that they're just inherently bad and need to be put in line.
• Heel–Face Door-Slam: He gets shot in the head with a pepper bullet right when it seems like he'll finally try to do the right thing by the inmates.
• In-Series Nickname: The inmates call him "the bearded giant" and "ogre man."
• Jerkass: It's not very prevalent due to his professionalism, but he is an example. It shows during the end of the season when he blatantly mistreats Red because of personal dislike and tries to spin a web of lies to protect the guard who killed Poussey and shows absolutely no remorse for it.
• Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: He's hardly a Nice Guy, but he doesn't seem overly nasty at first. He comes across as someone who believes fully in the job and has a no-nonsense approach, has a Pet the Dog moment or two and shows some deference before Caputo. He even gets a funny moment when he tries an 'ice-breaker' with new guards, but does so in his usual stern, humorless style. When the body of a guard is found, however, it all goes out the window. He tortures inmates, protects his psychotic underlings from retribution, practically usurps Caputo and indirectly causes the death of an inmate. In Season 5, this develops into a full blown, psychopathic and sadistic plot to get revenge on Red. He goes completely off the deep-end, turning into a crazed psychopath who stalks into Litchfield with the aim of torture and murder.
• Karmic Death: His accidental death at the hands of a poorly trained riot cop mirrors Poussey's accidental killing by Bayley.
• Large and in Charge: Piscatella is intimidatingly large, which contributes to his authority.
• Manly Gay: If he hadn't straight out admitted it to Piper, nobody would have guessed, as he's a big, burly hard ass. He is a bit more Camp Gay during his off hours. He drinks frilly cocktails, drives a purple PT Cruiser, and dresses a bit more campy, along with his past table decorations for the county fair (though he's unembarrassed when Red tries to goad him for it).
• Moral Myopia: According to Piscatella, the crimes inmates committed give guards free licence to abuse them. He sees no nuance or bigger picture in why inmates may have gotten in trouble legally, and doesn't believe they can be redeemed. Though when he himself abuses and murders people, it's perfectly okay. He also takes an "all inmates are scum" approach, despite the fact that he's in love with an inmate, who is "different". It's not revealed what this inmate's crime was, but it's implied that Piscatella's love/lust for him is the reason for his sympathy.
• Noodle Incident: Caputo uncovered the reason why Piscatella no longer works at the men's facility where he was before, but all we learn is that it involved something that Piscatella would really not like to be made public. It is revealed he murdered an inmate by burning him to death at the men's prison he worked at previously.
• Pay Evil unto Evil: He believes he's doing this while torturing Lichfield inmates. His flashback episode reveals he'd once murdered an inmate for assaulting his lover).
• Real Men Wear Pink: He's really into table decorating and has even won contests. When Red tries to use it against him, he has no shame or embarrassment about it whatsoever.
• "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives one to Caputo.
  "All due respect, sir, my men and I apprehended the murderer last night while you were, I don't know, sleeping? Jerking off MCC? Who cares? I know it's been a while since you took the uniform off, but surely you remember what it's like to be on the ground in here, or maybe your fancy suit affects your memory? Enough is enough. You hired me to do a job, and now you're gonna let me do it. My way. Oh, and the next time you want to interact with my men, make sure it's to thank them for their tireless work instead of threatening them."
• Tyrant Takes the Helm: As the newest guard, he takes command very quickly and takes no shit from anyone. He proves a force to be reckoned with. This is never more apparent than when Caputo tries to suspend Humphrey and Piscatella makes it terrifyingly clear who's really in charge. You half expect Piscatella to put on his hand on Caputo's shoulder and ask him if he feels in charge.
• Villains Out Shopping: Season 5 reveals that in his spare time, the dreaded, misogynistic, sociopathic captain of the guards is also a blue-ribbon winning table decorator.

McCullough

CO Artesian McCullough

Played By: Emily Tarver

• Accomplice by Inaction:
  • She is clearly disgusted by her colleagues' behavior, yet she chooses to look the other way most of the time and grudgingly acknowledges solidarity with them.
  • She's treated accordingly in season 5 when she ends up a hostage: she isn't a victim of any individual payback, since nobody hates her personally, but isn't spared from any collective retribution as well - and she gets her Shameful Strip by Maritza and Flaca as well.
  • This is later explained by flashbacks to her time in the army: when she tried to hold a squad mate accountable for sexual assaulting her, all it did was turn her squad against her, and then she had to go into combat knowing that the guys she was supposed to trust to watch her back all hated her guts.
• Ambiguously Bi: Downplayed in Season 7, when she starts making moves on Alex during their smuggling option. Instead of suddenly revealing that she's actually been attracted to women all along, however, she's quite nervous and awkward about it at first, and it takes her a while to be comfortable making out with her.
• Break the Cutie: It's easy to cheer the inmates on as they harass Dixon, but watching poor McCullough cry when locked in the latrine or be subjected to strip searches puts the inmates' actions in more of a gray area.
• Buxom Beauty Standard: She has a large bust, it turns out, which was previously concealed by her uniform. Maritza and Flaca are both complimentary to her about this once they see.
• Embarrassing First Name: Despite her first name actually being Artesian, her uniform indicates her first initial to be "B.", suggesting that she herself isn't too keen on her real first name.
• Females Are More Innocent: A single female within Piscatella's group and a single member of it who isn't an asshole.
• Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: She's a blonde and a Token Good Teammate.
• Hidden Buxom: The uniform really hides how big her chest is until she's stripped down in Season 5.
• Ms. Fanservice: She spends most of season 5 in nothing but her bra and panties, and she's pretty easy on the eyes. In-universe as well; when she is first forced to strip Flaca and Maritza are highly complimentary of her body, especially her breasts.
• Only Sane Man: In Season 5 she's the most calm and rational of the hostages.
• One of the Boys: Subverted, she is a military veteran who is working with men for most of her life, but one of her problems is her struggling with being "one of the guys". She has tried to be one in a flashback, but failed.
• Preppy Name: Her first name is revealed to be Artesian (or the name she goes by anyway, since her uniform's nametag has the initial B first).
• Rape as Backstory: We see that in her past as a Marine, one of her squad mates had sexually assaulted her. Once she reported this, all the rest of the squad believed him over her, causing her not to help after they come under fire.
• Self-Harm: After the riot one of the ways she copes with her depression is by putting out cigarettes on her own legs.
• Shell-Shocked Veteran: Sort of. She wasn't traumatized by her time in the military, but after the riot she shows clear signs of depression and PTSD. However, given that we see McCullough suffered sexual assault by another soldier, then wasn't believed by anyone else from her squad, this might have brought up past trauma.
• The Smurfette Principle: The most prominent, if not only, female CO brought on to Piscatella's team. Lampshaded by herself when she tries to connect with Maritza.
• Surrounded by Idiots: She seems to feel this way, particularly when dealing with Luscheck getting boners while a hostage and Warren's games.
• Token Good Teammate: She's easily the kindest of the new guards brought in, even forming a bond with Maritza (though when she (incorrectly) starts suspecting that Humphrey might be raping Maritza, McCullough decides to look the other way). Also when she tells the inmates that she cares about their lives "so much" she comes across as genuine.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: In season 7, she makes Alex work for her, hits on her even if she is in a Happily Married relationship, and after being rejected she insists on Alex's transfer to a prison in Ohio.
• Victoria's Secret Compartment: She hides a phone and charger in her bra when smuggling them.

Dixon

CO Lee Dixon

Portrayed By: Mike Houston

• Asshole Victim: Quite literally in season 5. When the inmates decide to get back at the guards for the unnecessary strip searches, Dixon is their first choice.
• Bait the Dog: He tries to make Bayley feel better about the accidental death of Poussay while driving him home. Unfortunately, Dixon is so twisted that he ends up revealing the true depth of his evil by relating stories about the atrocities he committed in Afghanistan.
• Beard of Evil: Dixon has a thick beard and he's truly evil.
• Fat Bastard: He's overweight, and an utter jackass.
• Foil: To McCullough, he was a Jerkass, Small Name, Big Ego, Fat Bastard prison guard who took great pleasure in abusing prisoners and before that a Sociopathic Soldier who used the war as an excuse to commit horrific atrocities. Whereas McCullough was a good soldier and prison guard who was friendly to the prisoners and was herself abused sexually by her fellow soldiers, ignored by higher-ups and eventually tortured by the prisoners she tried to be friends with. The difference is this experience caused Dixon to re-evaluate how he treated people and become a much more compassionate guard who attempted to form genuine friendships with prisoners and was able to achieve mutual forgiveness with Gloria by talking things through calmly, whereas McCullough became jaded by the torture and bacame more cold and unsympathetic, if not outright abusive to the prisoners as a result.
• Formerly Fit: He was in the military and was in excellent shape back then but has since become very overweight. Truth in television as many military veterans struggle to stay in shape after leaving and many become overweight or even obese in civilian life.
• Jerkass: Dixon is a loud, boorish bully on a power trip with more than a few sexist and racist tendencies.
• Jerkass Has a Point: For everything he is - that being a rapist, a murderer, a sadist and a war criminal among others - Dixon is right when he points out that the inmates don't want the hostages to learn any lesson, but just have fun torturing them.
• Jive Turkey: He claims to be able to relate with the black inmates because he comes from Memphis. When put into action, though, he comes across more like this.
• Kick the Dog: He was a Jerkass from the start, but stomping on Taystee's watch that Caputo got for her just for asking when Suzanne will be back from interrogation was just heartless.
• Manchild: He tends to act like an overgrown cliched fraternity brother.
• Meaningful Name: Dixon is a dick.
• Obliviously Evil: He thinks that after committing several repulsive crimes while in the war he is still a good guy.
• Small Name, Big Ego:
  • When he molests an inmate and she threatens to report him.
  Dixon: Officer Dixon answers only to Officer Dixon!
  Another guard: ...Don't we all answer to Piscatella?
  • How the riot reaches him in season 5:
  Dixon: I'm in charge here!
  Gilligan Cut
  Cue Dixon being tied with a TV cable and matresses, led to imprisonment by several least scary of the inmates, including the Weeping Woman.
• Sociopathic Soldier: Eventually it's revealed that he's not just some regular jackass guard; he's a monster who butchered innocent people in Afghanistan.
• Took a Level in Kindness: Almost to the point of Characterization Marches On. In Season 6 he's become a purely comic relief character and a quite friendly guy, hanging out with Pennsatucky and Coates instead of turning them in and even defending them when they're Mistaken for Gay. The riot experience changed him to such an extent that he almost seems a different character. In season 7, he even says Pennsatucky was his friend and joins Suzanne when she sings a tribute song to her.
• Rape Is a Special Kind of Evil: He reveals to Bayley that while in Afghanistan, he "had sex" with a young girl in a village, and then shot her afterwards because he figured her parents would kill her for being Defiled Forever anyway.
• Would Hurt a Child: He reveals rather casually to Bayley that while in Afghanistan, he made a young child juggle live grenades and after they exploded, he killed the child.

Humphrey

CO Thomas "Humps" Humphrey

Portrayed By: Michael Torpey

One of the new correctional officers hired under MCC's veterans program. A sadistic, mean-spirited bully, he enjoys playing pranks on and otherwise causing trouble with the inmates.

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• Ain't Too Proud to Beg: He completely breaks down when things turn against him and begs Daya to spare him, It doesn't work.
• And I Must Scream: After suffering a stroke, he's left aware but completely paralyzed, unable even to speak, and at the mercy of the inmates.
• Asshole Victim: Daya ends up shooting him in the thigh, after which he's treated by Sophia and the prison nurse, and left in medical between Suzanne and Kukudio's beds. Later Kukudio blows air bubbles into his IV, which gives him a stroke. The lack of care from the inmates he once tortured soon leads to his death, not that any of the inmates care.
• Ax-Crazy: Beneath his polite facade lurks a truly depraved and unstable mind.
• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Seems to be the most normal of the guards at first and no worse than the other abrasive CO's but is eventually revealed as the worst of the lot by a country mile.
• Commonality Connection: Subverted. He tries to appeal to Daya by talking about her childhood and speaking to her in Spanish, resulting in her shooting him in the leg while exclaiming, "I don't fucking speak Spanish".
• Cruel and Unusual Death: He gets an agonizingly drawn out demise, being shot in the leg and later suffering a fatal stroke due to poor care from the inmates after multiple episodes in horrible pain. Not that the bastard didn't deserve every second of it.
• Cunning Linguist: He speaks fluent Spanish, but hides it to eavesdrop on the Hispanic inmates more easily. When held at gunpoint by Daya, he tries to appeal to her humanity by telling her about his childhood in Spanish. To which she answers "I don't fucking speak Spanish!" and shoots him in the leg.
• Dirty Coward: He's a big man when dealing with prisoners who can't defend themselves, but when he thinks he might be in danger himself? He smuggles a gun in, something even his fellow psychotic guards don't think of doing, and later shamelessly begs for mercy when Daya gets her hand on it.
• Faux Affably Evil: He's often smiling and cheery but it does nothing to mask his horrific cruelty.
• Friendship Moment: A really dark variation of the trope. The only moment in the series where he shows a fraction of respect and humanity towards the inmates is when he's doped out of his mind and bonds with Suzanne and Kukudio (two people he's wronged) by discussing imaginative and sadistic methods of torturing someone.
• Hate Sink: He serves as this for the inmates. It takes a seriously despicable piece of shit to make the Neo-Nazis work with the black inmates to get rid of him.
• Hidden Depths: He tries to exploit the trope by speaking to Daya in fluent Spanish about his childhood. She takes it very poorly.
• Hoist by Their Own Petard: He smuggles a gun to allegedly "protect himself" into prison at the start of the final episode, and is on the receiving end of its barrel at the end of it by a very pissed off Daya. Later, when drugged out of his mind, he inadvertently encourages Kukudio to kill him.
• Karmic Death: His death is largely a result of his own violent actions coming back on him and it's fitting that such a horrifying sadist gets such a drawn out and painful demise.
• Kick the Dog: Forcing Maritza to swallow a baby mouse at gun point solely out of sadistic cruelty certainly qualifies.
• Lack of Empathy: His response to Suzanne beating Maureen half to death is that he won 20 bucks on the outcome. Oh, and it was a fight he instigated.
• Not-So-Harmless Villain: He's just another face in the line-up of new guards at first, and doesn't stand out in any way. He's not a Bitch in Sheep's Clothing, as he makes no effort to be nice and is very much in the same league as the likes of Dixon. Humphrey reveals his true colors as a horrible sadist later on.
• Oh, Crap!: He most certainly does not look too pleased to be staring down the barrel of his own gun, held by Daya, and surrounded by a prison full of pissed-off inmates at that.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: He appears to be racist, homophobic and transphobic, referring to Suzanne s an "ape" and later remarking casually that "lezzies" go to hell and calling Sophia a horrible transphobic slur. Presumably the openly gay Piscatella doesn't know about Humphrey's beliefs.
• Sadist: He's a vicious animal whose only joy in life comes from harming others, be it something minor and petty or something life-destroying and awful. He's also revealed to have an obsessive interest in historical forms of torture.
• Schlubby, Scummy Security Guard: "Humps" is a vicious prison guard who forces two inmates into a fight, leading to one of their deaths.
• Sociopathic Soldier: He's a military veteran like the rest of Piscatella's guards, and God knows what he got up to during his career considering the kind of person he is. Misogynist Healy, semi-delusional rapist Coates, unhinged power tripper Pornstache, complete asshole Luschek, even sociopathic drug baroness Vee... not a one of them has a patch on Thomas Humphrey when it comes to being an out-and-out monster. Even the other guards agree that he's a complete psychopath who creeps everyone else out. It becomes increasingly clear that if Humphrey wasn't a CO, he'd probably be out there doing some horrific crimes.
• They Look Just Like Everyone Else!: He probably stands out the least of the COs before he reveals his true colors, and one inmate describes him as "the one who looks like a mailman".
• Too Dumb to Live: Or too much of a Jerkass to live; when he's offered medical attention by Sophia, he calls her a "fire tranny" and is an asshole. Granted wanting to be released and see a medical professional is reasonable, but being a bigoted jerk to the only person with medical training and sympathy is outrageous.
• Villains Want Mercy: He devolves into an undignified wreck begging for mercy when Daya turns his own gun on him. He doesn't get it.

Stratman

CO B. Stratman

Played By: Evan Arthur Hall

Another correctional officer hired under MCC's veterans program.

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• Asshole Victim: Fittingly, he gets it the worst after Humphrey and Dixon after the riot starts, spending most of the time in the port-a-potty and then being kidnapped, threatened with mutilation and finally forced to give a fingerjob to Leanne. Considering he's been one of the guards molesting inmates before...
• Carpet of Virility: He sports a hairy chest, which he flaunts during his stiptease to the great approval of the prisoners.
• Faux Affably Evil: He's superficially more reasonable than the other guards, but when it comes down to it, he's still pretty monstrous.
• Lack of Empathy: A standard quality for members of Piscatella's group; Stratman doesn't see the inmates as people.
• Mr. Fanservice: In-universe and out alike, once we get to see him performing a strip-tease for the inmates.
• Never My Fault: Knowingly lets Humphrey into the prison with a gun. Blames Dixon later on, despite being culpable.
• Shy Bladder: Has a bad case of this when he's unable to go pee in front of the other officers and the inmates are taking a lot of glee out of his suffering.
• The Vamp: A Rare Male Example. Stratman uses his sexuality to get ahead when he ends up being a hostage in season 5. He performs what appears to be a very practiced striptease, but ends up getting no credit for it because he favored Leanne rather than Angie, who had the gun.

Blake

CO R. Blake

Played By: Nick Dillenburg

Another correctional officer hired under MCC's veterans program.

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• The Ditz: He's probably the dimmest of Piscatella's guards, much to Stratman's frustration.
• Fair Cop: Or rather, Fair CO, but Blake is a rather attractive man to the point where several of the inmates are eager to be frisked by him.
• Nice Guy: Probably the nicest and most moral out of the guards. Due to his dim nature, it's possible he just doesn't know how to be cruel.
• White Sheep: In general, Blake seems to be the least callous and/or sadistic of the guards featured so far.
  • Season 5 reveals he's a Mormon.
  • He's also the first Max guard to express discomfort with the Fantasy Inmate game.

Other Staff

Rogers

Berdie Rogers

Played By: Marsha Stephanie Blake

The new prison counselor. She takes a different approach than Healy in counseling troubled inmates and starts a drama class. She tells Alex that she wants to make a difference in the prison system, which Alex considers noble but futile.

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• Deadpan Snarker: As is made clear in her initial verbal joust with Caputo.
• Establishing Character Moment: Her first appearance is with Caputo, in which it's outright stated that she's smart, well-qualified and down-to-earth.
• Good Is Not Dumb: Nice Girl thought she may be, she is smart enough not to get tricked or taken advantage of by the prisoners (unlike pretty much every other new staff member in the series), and quickly figures out it was Healy who got her suspended because he's a vindictive Green-Eyed Monster.
• Nice Girl: She gets along well with everyone she meets, even being fairly polite towards Healy before he starts to antagonize her too much.
• Twofer Token Minority: Healy accuses her of thinking she would be better than him at his job because she is black and a woman.

Dimaguiba

Igme Dimaguiba

Played By: Alan R Rodriguez

The prison nurse.

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• Dr. Jerk: Shows no interest in helping anyone.
• Obstructive Bureaucrat: He just follows the chart.

Adarsh

Adarsh

Played By: Gerrard Lobo

Another prison nurse.

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• Actual Pacifist: Doesn't cause harm to anyone, whether they're staff or inmates, and actively tries to stay away from the riot.
• Beauty Equals Goodness: One of the kindest members of staff at Litchfield in season five, and also one of the most attractive.
• Blue Is Heroic: Adarsh wears blue scrubs and is the only member of the medical staff to stay behind during the riot to look after his patients.
• Distressed Dude: Is briefly held captive by the meth heads and forced to perform surgery on Leanne's finger.
• Hospital Hottie: His good looks are explicitly mentioned.
• Nice Guy: Kind and compassionate towards any who needs his help, and even expresses concern for Sophia when she decides to head back out into the riot.
• Only Sane Man: One of the few voices of reason during the riot, he even warns Sophia about suddenly stepping out of the shadows as a 'tall black person'.
• What Happened to the Mouse?: Adarsh survives the riot but we don't find out what happens to him.

Max Staff

Ginger

CO Virginia "Ginger" Copeland

Played by: Shawna Hamic

A CO who is heavily invested in Fantasy Inmate.

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• Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: To inmates' faces she's one of the least cruel guards and will even dispense friendly self-help advice, but she shows total disregard for their safety when trying to win Fantasy Inmate points, even going so far as trying to engineer fights between them.
• Gosh Dang It to Heck!: She avoids swearing and uses substitutes like "What the freight train?" By Season 7, she starts averting this after attending the Tony Robbins seminar, swearing like a sailor.
• I Just Want to Be Special: She really drank the motivational guru Kool-Aid, frequently quotes from self-help books and dreams of using her Fantasy Inmate winnings to attend a Tony Robbins seminar.

Alvarez

CO Alvarez

Played by: Nicholas Webber

A CO and self-proclaimed commissioner of Fantasy Inmate.

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• No-Respect Guy: The other CO's don't particularly care for him and appear to ignore him.

Ward

CO Tamika Ward

Played by: Susan Heyward

A CO who has a history with Taystee.

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• It's All About Me: Her reaction to Taystee- who is an old friend of hers- speaking out against the Police Brutality of daily beatings she and some other inmates have faced? Anger that Taystee has “betrayed” her by speaking poorly of Tamika’s coworkers. Thankfully, she eventually changes her mind and supports Taystee.
• The Load: When she and Taystee worked together at Stork Burger, Tamika was a lazy screw-up who depended on Taystee to cover for her.
• Rank Up: Promoted to Warden in Season 7...and then gets fired.
• We Used to Be Friends: She and Taystee were close when they worked together at a fast food restaurant, but their current positions keep them on less friendly terms. This gradually reverses itself over the course of Season 7 after she's promoted to warden and takes Taystee on as an assistant, to the point where after she gets fired, she and Taystee promise to stay in touch.

Stefanovic

CO Stefanovic

Played by Josh Segarra

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• Abhorrent Admirer: Hits on McCullough, who is clearly repulsed by him.
• Manchild: His first scenes involve him repeatedly interrupting interrogations by federal agents so he can get snacks from the break room, and he seems baffled that they would treat their job as more important than his weightlifting gains.

Hellman

CO Hellman

Played by: Greg Vrotsos

One of the more corrupt CO's at Max

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• Dirty Cop: He's the go-to CO for any kind of illegal or underhanded operation at Max.
• Establishing Character Moment: He baits Taystee into coming closer just so he can beat her for no good reason.
• Karma Houdini: He suffers no consequences for his drug-smuggling and abuse of inmates, and he even gets promoted to warden. Somewhat subverted in that, as history has shown with Fig, Caputo, and Tamika, he will only inherit Litchfield’s mountain of problems and he will most likely be miserable.
• Klingon Promotion: A completely unintentional example happens in the series finale, when he stashes drugs inside the bodies of the chickens housed at Max, with said drugs being unwittingly revealed when Suzanne releases all the chickens. This costs Ward her job as the warden, and Hellman is subsequently promoted to replace her.
• Meaningful Name: Hellman surely helps to make Max a living hell for the inmates.
• Politically Incorrect Villain: He refers to two Pan-Asian inmates as Mulan and Jasmine.

Hopper

Rick Hopper

Played by: Hunter Emery

Captain of the Maximum security facility of Litchfield Penitentiary.

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• Ascended Extra: Gets a bigger role in season 6 and 7, thanks to his relationship with Aleida.
• Belligerent Sexual Tension: In season 6 with Aleida, often fighting and then making out or having sex.
• Extreme Doormat: Aleida has no problem manipulating and bossing him around like a puppy.
• Horrible Judge of Character: Falls hard for Aleida and is even willing to take care of her family, oblivious of how much she uses and manipulates him.
• Laser-Guided Karma: He's eventually fired after being caught fooling around with Aleida in prison.
• Took a Level in Jerkass: Was a relatively decent guy and better than most guards, until Aleida involved him in the drug scheme.

ICE

Litvack

Carlos Litvack

Played by: Adam Lindo

Head of the ICE detention center where Blanca is held.

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• Berserk Button: See Embarrassing Nickname
• Embarrassing Nickname: “Clitvack” (like “a vacuum for your clit”)
• Hate Sink: He is just a relentless asshole to everyone, be it the detainees or others working in the Litchfield prison system.
• Jerkass: Maybe the only person in the whole show who is worse than Hellman.
• Lack of Empathy: As far as he's concerned, the fact that detainees entered the country illegally means they don't deserve any mercy or compassion, not even if they're kids who had no say in it.
• Hypocrite:
  • He's visibly of Hispanic descent and has a multi-ethnic name that clearly isn't Western European-derived, yet he's awfully racist, and especially mean to the many Hispanic detainees. Even if he was born in the US, it's more than likely his parents or grandparents fought to immigrate, yet he has no sympathy for those also trying to do this.
  • After Fig mentions one of the detainees is trying to get an abortion, he asks if there’s no regard for human life there.
• Would Hurt a Child: He has no issue detaining and treating kids the way he does adults and isn't any more sympathetic to them.