Old Man Henderson
The man himself. Played by Waffle House Millionaire/Mike, Henderson was his answer to the Killer Game Master who killed his characters over stupid reasons. A crazy, senile old man, Henderson is brought into the story because he's searching for his 40k worth collection of lawn gnomes, which inevitably causes the plot to derail as his actions become more and more violent.
- Car Fu: THE Tanker Truck Incident. With a fueling tanker truck, Henderson killed the possessed detective, leveled the church and wiped out all traces that could trace it back to him. He later rigs his battered '92 Buick Century to explode, killing several shoggoths in the police office.
- Cloudcuckoolander: WHM/Mike created Henderson to be a deliberately insane agent of chaos, and every quote we see from him is full of hilarious insanity.
- Disability Immunity: Due to his schizophrenia and dyslexia, he usually dismisses the Brown Note monsters as hallucinations or ugly poodles, and isn't affected by "reading"/smoking the Necronomicon.
- Disproportionate Retribution: His entire motivation: he suspects the cultists of having stolen his lawn gnomes. Admittedly, it is supposedly 40k worth of lawn gnomes. He actually donated them to a charity, got high and forgot about it.
- Establishing Character Moment: "MUCKLE DAMRED CULTISTS! 'AIR EH NAMBLIES BE KEEPIN' ME WEE MEN!?!?" That's Henderson's first line of dialogue, and it pretty much sums up all you need to know about him.
- Expy: Henderson is The Dude from The Big Lebowski with a lot of the mellow taken out and replaced with pure insanity, though strangely enough WHM had never seen the film.
- Face Death with Dignity: He knows he's going to die when he finds the lawn gnome in his truck before getting to the hockey rink, but he'll be damned if he doesn't make it the best Last Stand he can.
- Hero Killer: He personally killed several of Nowhere's characters, including:
- The Professor, who was gunned down by Henderson for trying to play peacemaker.
- James Fink, who was run over during the Tanker Truck Incident and left to die.
- A mob bodyguard who was killed when he was trapped in a car that was ignited by Henderson.
- Ronald, a used car salesman who was run over by Henderson's BMW.
- A cop who was killed in a housefire Henderson caused to destroy and eldritch beast.
- Patrick, who was a thug supposed to make a HeelFace Turn but was shot by Henderson when he came to threaten him.
- Insanity Immunity: Mr. Henderson was quite loopy to begin with, and despite being in Call of Cthulhu, stayed at roughly the same level of loopiness. This was mostly because his pre-existing schizophrenia and drug habit hardened him against the insanity-causing horrors from the beyond, as he tended to simply dismiss them as hallucinations brought on by either the schizophrenia, the weed, or both.
- It Has Been an Honor: When he finds the lawn gnome in his truck he grins, and tells "Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure." to the others, because he knew he was about to die.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's crazy, rude, and violent, but he does have a nice side. He ends up leaving Jimmy and Kary everything in his will.
- Lonely Funeral: Due to all of his friends save for Jimmy and Kary being dead, they're the only ones at his funeral.
- Mad Bomber: He memorized the Anarchist's Cookbook. Furthermore, he somehow has access to C4 when needed.
- Multiple-Choice Past: His "Backstory of Doom." To quote WHM himself:WHM: "...He had a 320 page backstory that justified EVERYTHING, from his casual knowledge of physics to his ability to speak Portuguese flawlessly. You can just imagine the sort of Shenanigans that character was involved in. The point to having such a long backstory was three-fold. 1) to ensure the GM would never actually read it and 2) Since he would never read it except for in excerpts I pointed out to justify things, I could re-write and change things around completely at random without anyone noticing and MOST IMPORTANTLY 3) Convince everyone that I was serious about this character, and that it wasn't simply the game wrecking bullshit that it was."
- Only One Name: Nobody knows whether Henderson is his first or last name. Not even he does.
- Old Soldier: Though he's younger than he claims, Henderson is in his fifties and a war vet. He goes on to killing hordes of cultists and their creatures.
- Pals with Jesus: Or, his reincarnation is childhood friends with a female reincarnation of Hastur who later regains their powers.
- Person of Mass Destruction: Henderson destroyed countless buildings (including at least two churches, the police station, Will's old bar, the Cthulhu cultist penthouse and the Disciples of the Yellow King's yacht) and caused destruction and mayhem across at least 15 different cultist groups, causing an Enemy Civil War that tore The Masquerade to pieces.
- Politically Incorrect Hero: It's heavily implied that he's not too fond of Mormons.
- Post-Mortem One-Liner:Henderson: I figured out what the nasties are weak against.
Jimmy: What's that Mr. Henderson?
Henderson: Point blank annihilation.
- Renaissance Man: He's very skilled in numerous areas thanks to the Backstory of Doom, and being completely out of his gourd doesn't stop him from using his skills very effectively.
- Sinister Shades: Never takes off his aviators, for any reason. When Patrick broke them, he revealed that he had three spares on him, though another one was broken by the thug.
- The Stoner: He made a blunt out of a page of the Necro-Fucking-Nomicon and got Jimmy to join in.
- Taking You with Me: Rigs a hockey rink to explode, obliterating the cultists' forces and permanently killing Hastur.
- This Looks Like a Job for Aquaman: He started the game with diagnosed schizophrenia and "a pre-existing hatred of religion, cutlery, and books.", which along with his dyslexia and tendency to take hallucinogenic drugs made him practically immune to the SAN loss usually taken by dealing with the eldritch horrors and nightmares.
- Violent Glaswegian: He was portrayed with a thick Scottish accent when he was angry, but he wasn't Scottish himself.
Jimmy the Jock
The teenager member of the party, Jimmy was a local athlete who was curious in finding out why his friends seemed so distant lately.
- Infant Immortality: Though unintended, he and Kary are the only members of the party to survive. Furthermore, he's the only member from the beginning of Henderson's tale to have lived to the end.
- Sole Survivor: He's the last of the group left, and the only character from the beginning of Henderson's tale to have made it to the end.
Detective Albert Johanson
A former cop-turned private detective, Albert Johanson was investigating in a missing persons case linked to a local cult when his path crosses with that of Old Man Henderson.
- Grand Theft Me: His body was used to serve as an avatar for Hastur.
- It Is Pronounced "Tro-PAY": His last name is pronounced Scandinavian style, where the J sounds like a Y (think Björk). WHM is apparently unfamiliar with Scandinavian name pronunciation.
- Private Detective: His business is investigation, which is how he got involved with Old Man Henderson and cultists.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Tries to bail out when he learns that his prospective new client is the man who burned down a church. Doesn't stick, and Henderson joins up with him when he reveals that he knows about the cult.
A former barman whose newly-refurbished pub was destroyed by Old Man Henderson's antics, he joins up after Henderson shifts the blame onto the cultists.
- The Lancer: A no-nonsense former barman who gives no fucks and joins up with Henderson.
- The Straight Man: Plays this role to Henderson and the majority of the craziness caused by all of the eldritch horrors around him.
- You Shall Not Pass!: In the Last Stand he stole a Zamboni to hold off the hordes of zombies, tossing ammunition to Henderson until he was killed. Even after dying, his Zamboni barricade slows the zombies down slightly as they still had to go over it.
Professor FilkinsOne of A Self Called Nowhere's characters, Professor Filkins was a college teacher who found a few stray pages of the Necronomicon and wanted to find out what it was about.
James FinkOne of A Self Called Nowhere's characters. A long-time friend of Detective Albert Johnanson and a former thug for the local mob back when Al was still a cop. When Henderson gets involved, Johanson decides he wants more back-up and calls Jim in.
- Odd Friendship: With Al. Though the two worked against one another in the past and often wrecked each other's plans, they became fast friends.
RonaldOne of A Self Called Nowhere's characters, Ronald was a used car salesman who had just gotten out of a divorce with his wife. She had won all of the possessions and proceeded to kill herself, leaving them to the new church she had devoted herself to: the Disciples of the Yellow King.
Patrick the ThugOne of A Self Called Nowhere's characters. A street-fighting thug, Pat was hired by a man in a yellow robe to kill Henderson.
- Bullying a Dragon: He tried picking on Old Man Henderson after being hired by a man in a yellow robe. It didn't end well for him.
- Defeat Means Friendship: Nowhere thought this was going to happen because a brief fight followed by alliance would make sense with his backstory and his player status. However, WHM doesn't metagame.
- HeelFace Turn: Nowhere's intended course of action was getting in a fight with Henderson and then somehow joining up with him, but Henderson killed him before it could get to that.
Malcolm ReevesOne of A Self Called Nowhere's characters. A former soldier, Mal has just been discharged from the military after his last tour of duty sent him into a nest of monsters. Diagnosed with schizophrenic hallucinations caused by PTSD, he was sent home. There, he overhears Henderson talking about cultists and asks if he can get involved.
Simon BreckenridgeA Self Called Nowhere's last character. A retired British spy with a distinguished career behind him, Simon traveled to America chasing after a cultist who killed his wife one week after retirement.
- Crusading Widower: Chases the cultists to America after they killed his wife.
- Foil: He was created with the sole purpose of being this to Henderson.A Self Called Nowhere: I knew setting out that I would never curb Henderson's madness. I could never hope to match it either. I therefore built Henderson's exact opposite: Competent, sane, cunning. His karmic balance. The Yin to his Yang. His fucking soul mate in plot annihilation.
- Magnificent Bastard: From behind the scenes, he managed to close multiple gaps in security, sleep with most of the attractive ladies in town, and pass all the blame to other people. After retiring, he has enough embezzled funds that he could be tried for treason, and uses the party to his own ends to find the cultists who killed his wife while passing himself off as a secret agent of the crown who came to re-enact a James Bond movie.
- Old Soldier: Simon was 45 years old, just a bit younger than Henderson, and survived more spy missions than many a James-Bond style compatriot.
- Retired Badass: Retired at 45 years old with a distinguished career behind him.
- The Smart Guy: As a retired spy, he has a number of connections he used in his hunt for the cultists, despite his spy network not being in place.
- Tuxedo and Martini: Simon is clearly a homage to James Bond to begin with, but the trope particularly kicks in during the events of the final campaign, when he changes into a tuxedo and refuses to remove it.
- Utility Party Member: Built to be one, with his Spy Fiction back story being used to justify his information gathering skills and connections to get the party what they need.A Self Called Nowhere: When utilized properly, a well made/played support character is a fucking force multiplier for team effectiveness.
KaryJimmy's girlfriend, initially one of the cultists. Switches sides after they try sacrificing her and Jimmy.
- HeelFace Turn: Leaves the cultists after being saved by Henderson and Will.
- Heel Realization: Being "volunteered" to be eaten as a sacrifice to her god made her realize that maybe the cultists weren't all so great after all.
- Infant Immortality: Though unintended, she and Jimmy are the only members of the party to survive.
- Rescue Sex: After being rescued, she and Jimmy have sex in the back of Henderson's car.
- Big Bad: He's one of the Great Old Ones, of course.
- Bunny-Ears Lawyer: She may be in a frail human body, but she's still a god. She regains her power while drunk. Manipulated by Eli, but still.
- Gender Bender: Eeeeeh, downplayed. As a deity, he doesn't actually have a gender, but is generally referred to with male pronouns, and his title is "the King in yellow." Nyarlathotep reincarnates him as a girl. Knowing Nyarlathotep, it's probably some joke that goes over our head.
- Graceful Loser: When Henderson manages to permanently kill him, he's more impressed than anything. It should be noted this epilogue was being done by a different DM after the original did a table flip when Henderson killed him.
- Past-Life Memories: Not memories, but reincarnated Henderson gets her to reclaim her power while drunk.