The Cast as a Whole
- Author Avatar: Simon Hanselmann has said he sees some of himself in all of the characters, particularly Megg.
- Depraved Bisexual: Just about every adult character in the cast is a bona fide libertine. Werewolf Jones' takes this trope to an extreme that would fluster De Sade.
- Jerkass: Every character is vain and obnoxious to some degree, but this is especially true of Werewolf Jones. Mike and Booger come across as less abrasive, but even they have their moments.
- The Stoner: The titular trio and Werewolf Jones take this trope to its logical extreme, to the point where they're perpetually high and spend what little money they have on more weed. They're arguably deconstructions of the stoner archetype, as the reason they consume so much weed is because of their constant mental anguish.
- Unsympathetic Comedy Protagonist: Megg and Owl are both difficult to like for a variety of reasons.
- Vague Age: Most of the cast are implied to be in their 30's but few precise dates are given.
- With Friends Like These...: All the characters are constantly at each other's throats. They're all bristling with hostility towards Owl in particular (and vice versa).
- Would Hurt a Child: Werewolf Jones is horribly neglectful towards his kids. All his friends are indifferent to this, except for Owl, who occasionally voices concern for their well-being.
A manically depressed witch as well as the first of the three titular characters. She typically acts as the protagonist in a given strip.
Megg's live-in boyfriend. He's apathetic to the bizarre things that happen around him.
- Dumb Jock: Was the captain of the track team in high school and isn't portrayed as being terribly bright.
- It's All About Me: Hanselmann explicitly describes Mogg as being "cold" and having "boundary issues" with Megg.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: It's demonstrated at multiple points that Megg isn't happy with her and Mogg's lifestyle. Mogg is aware of this but chooses not to make any changes to help her. He's content with their mediocre existence and would prefer not to rock the boat.
- At the end of Megahex, Owl cites the way he's been treated as the reason he's moving out. When Mogg apologizes, the word "sorry" is in quotes, implying he doesn't feel remorse for the many bad things he's done.
- Lack of Empathy: As mentioned above, he's indifferent to the suffering of his friends, even that of his girlfriend Megg. He treats her extreme, debilitating depression as an inconvenience to be suppressed with weed and booze.
- Lazy Bum: He and Megg together only pay 20 percent of the rent.
- Manchild: Mogg still has the personality of a lazy, arrogant teenager even though he's in his 30's. A flashback strip shows that he hasn't changed one iota since high school. As mentioned above, he's unemployed and chooses to mooch off of Owl.
- Tall Poppy Syndrome: He makes sure none of his friends do better than him.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Mogg has zero gratitude towards Megg and Owl even after all they've done for him over the years.
Megg and Mogg's perpetually anxious flatmate. He's more grounded in reality than the rest of the cast, although that's not saying much. Owl also acts as the primary POV character besides Megg.
- The Alcoholic: Owl has a drinking problem and feels deeply ashamed of it. Fearful of his behavior when drunk, he goes to AA meetings in order to stay sober. Megg and Mogg push him off the wagon as a prank.
- Butt-Monkey: Owl can never catch a break. Arguably a deconstruction of the trope, as much of the treatment Owl receives from his "friends" is outright abuse.
- The Dog Bites Back: At the end of Megahex, Owl moves out, leaving Megg and Mogg to fend for themselves. This sends them into a panic as they've been freeloading at his expense for years. Considering they're both unemployed and only pay a meager portion of the rent, their prospects don't look good.
- Dogged Nice Guy: Owl has harbored a crush on Megg since they were in high school. He tries to make advances from time to time in spite of her clear lack of interest. At the end of Megahex, Owl looks into Megg's eyes and declares that he's over her.
- Extreme Doormat: Although he tries to maintain a semblance of order in his and his flatmates' lives, he's too weak-willed and neurotic to make much of a difference.
- Functional Addict: Unlike his flatmates, he's able to hold down a job in spite of his voracious consumption of weed and booze. Megg and Mogg are able to have some structure in their lives thanks to Owl's marginal stability. He eventually wises up and cuts them loose.
- Insufferable Genius: Even if he's conceited and not that much better than they are, his criticisms of his flatmates are usually correct.
- Kavorka Man: In spite of his dorky, unappealing personality and rampant substance abuse, Owl is constantly having sex. However, it's not portrayed as something admirable, as he never forms any meaningful relationships and he's contracted numerous venereal diseases.
- Only Sane Man: A deconstruction of the usual variant. Owl is objectively more functional than Megg or Mogg. However, that's only by the standards of their peer group. He's still a sex-crazed alcoholic with some serious emotional problems. It's implied the reason he tolerates Megg and Mogg's abuse is so he can lord his functionality over them and feel superior.
- Small Name, Big Ego: He thinks he's a lot more sophisticated and smart than he really is because he's marginally more productive than his friends.
- Took a Level in Badass: After years of abuse and ridicule, Owl leaves his friends for good at the end of Megahex.
- He finally fights back physically when Werewolf Jones sexually assaults him after his friends decide to not help him.
A mentally unstable werewolf. He frequently hangs around with the main trio (usually against their will
- Abusive Parents: Besides being openly contemptuous of Jaxon, Jones is constantly roping his boys into his get-rich-quick schemes. This ranges from sending the boys out to panhandle, starting Diesel off on a career in "camming" (IE, performing sex acts on a webstream), taking sexually suggestive photos of them as part of a scheme to get back at Owl, ram raiding retail outlets, and forcing them to make felt hats for his Etsy shop. That's to say nothing of their atrocious living conditions and their diet, which is implied to be nothing but sugary breakfast cereal and energy drinks. Tellingly, Jones threatening to crack Jaxon's neck for making noise while he's on the phone is one of his more benign moments.
- We never see Jones' ex-wife, but she presumably isn't a good parent either. Considering Werewolf Jones won custody of the kids over her, she must be even more of a mess than he is.
- Addled Addict: Much of his erratic, disruptive behavior can be attributed to his abuse of powerful narotics. Predictably, this frequently leads to trouble. A couple stripsnote imply he routinely uses the harder opioids.
- Ambiguous Disorder: It's shown in no uncertain terms that Jones is severely mentally ill, but the precise nature of his affliction is never specified. It could be that he suffers from Borderline personality disorder, given his irrational, all-consuming thirst for emotional validation (or any kind of attention period) from others. This would also be consistent with his unstable sense of self, his substance abuse issues, and his tremendous fear of his friends abandoning him.
- Ax-Crazy: Werewolf Jones is not the picture of mental health, to put it lightly. His easy-going demeanor evaporates into ferocious, unhinged anger the moment anyone challenges him.
- Depraved Bisexual: Sex-crazed to the point that even his friends find him repulsive.
- Faux Affably Evil: His cheerful, cavalier demeanor throws his unpleasant qualities into sharper relief.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Although they find his antics amusing, it's implied that none of Jones' friends truly like him. The only reason he remains in their lives is that he supplies them with weed, they've known each other since high school, and their inability to get rid of him for good. It's ironic because in his own way, Jones is the only member of the group who values their friendship.
- Heroic Comedic Sociopath: Although his antics are funny to read about, Jones is not someone you would ever want in your life.
- Jerk with a Heart of Jerk: A flashback to high school shows that Jones has always been an aggressive, lecherous scumbag.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: In the most bizarre, twisted way you could imagine, Jones genuinely loves his friends. At the best of times, Megg, Mogg, and Owl merely tolerate one another. But Jones relishes their companionship even though he's constantly abusing them and subjecting them to his obnoxious behavior, all of which stems from his well-placed fear that they'll abandon him.
- The Millstone: Jones is a complete liability to his friends. Almost all their problems are made worse by his mere presence when he isn't actively creating new ones. Many a strip features Jones landing the group in deep trouble as a result of his crass, idiotic actions.
- Obliviously Evil: Werewolf Jones doesn't seem to realize that his actions upset the people around him.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Contrary to what his name would suggest, Jones doesn't seem to have a human form, to the point where it'd appear he's just a wolf-man all the time. Subverted at the end of "Worst Behavior," where he reverts to being a human while going through withdrawal in a jail cell. It's implied he's only a Werewolf when he's inebriated in some way.
- Really Gets Around: He mentions having sex with a lot of people, and has also made it with Owl, and likely Megg and Booger.
- Stepford Smiler: Jones' ridiculous antics do little to disguise the fact that he's dead inside.
- Toxic Friend Influence: Jones often pushes his friends to indulge in their worst behavior.
A boogeyman as well as a long-time friend of Megg's. He's an avid cross-dresser.
A laid-back warlock. He sporadically accompanies the group on their misadventures.
Diesel and Jaxon
The young sons of Werewolf Jones.
- Generation Xerox: They take after their father in more ways then one, unfortunately.
- Gonk: They're a lot uglier and more gross-looking than the rest of the cast, due to their dirty, disheveled appearances. In one strip set in the future, we see that Jaxon as grown-up just looks like his dad but more clean-cut.
- Hidden Depths: It's suggested at numerous points that they lash out because they're desperate for their dad's love and attention.
- Jaxon is a fan of of R. Crumb of all people, and is deeply upset after learning about his suspect sexual conduct from the 70's.
- Our Werewolves Are Different: Like their father, they're constantly in wolf-form due to being hopped up on sugar.
- Those Two Guys
- The Unfavorite: Although neither are treated particularly well to begin with, Werewolf Jones considers Jaxon the more disappointing of the two.
- Troubling Unchildlike Behavior: They are frequently seen cussing, doing drugs, and acting out in violent ways.
- Wild Child: They sometimes act like this, presumably due to their father's parenting (or lack thereof).