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Feebles Actors

     Heidi the Hippo
Make way for the star!
portrayed by: Danny Mulheron (suit), Mark Hadlow (voice)

A fat, pink hippopotamus who is the star of The Feebles' Variety Hour.

Although she views herself as Bletch's girlfriend, she is completely unaware of the shallow disgust he has for her.

  • Ate His Gun: What she attempts to do after hanging herself gets her nowhere. Samantha's taunting gets her to change her plans...for the worse.
  • Big Eater: How she got as fat as she is. She's even worse when she's depressed.
  • Bungled Suicide: After Bletch finally dumps her, she tries to kill herself in two different ways, but fails both times—first, she tries to hang herself, only for the noose to snap under her weight. Then, she tries to shoot herself, only for Samantha to taunt her, prompting her to open fire on Samantha instead and go on a killing spree.
  • The Dog Bites Back: She takes so much shit from Bletch, Samantha and Trevor throughout the movie that it comes to no surprise that she ultimately snaps and vents her anger on the three when she gets the chance. A pity that everyone else gets caught up in the carnage.
  • Drowning My Sorrows: With cake, of course!
  • Expy: Quite easily comparable to Miss Piggy, being a pink primadonna that has issues with her weight. And much like her inspiration, she reacts violently whenever she snaps.
  • Fan Disservice: Her in lingerie. Blech! Then, she undoes her bra...
  • Graceful Loser: When Arthur tells her he has to turn her in to the police for her massacre, she is already prepared to face it with dignity and asks to perform her big number one last time.
  • Huggy, Huggy Hippos: Subverted. Her stage persona (known as "our very own Venus, the gorgeous hunk of hippohood") is one, and to an extent it's genuine. But she also has a violent streak that on occasion makes her even more dangerous than the real deal, as foreshadowed by her bar act as a teen.
  • Interspecies Romance: With Bletch.
  • I Was Quite a Looker: She was once very slim and considered attractive by Bletch. As shown in the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue, after ten years of penitentiary confinement and rehabilitation, she is once again slim and attractive.
  • Leitmotif: Has an instrumental version of "The Garden of Love" as one.
  • The Mentally Disturbed: Suffers from depression and an eating disorder, which escalates to suicidal depression after Samantha pushes her further. Once she's taunted one time too many, this culminates in a blind, homicidal rage that sends her on a rampage which kills much of the show's cast and staff.
  • My God, What Have I Done?: Right after she kills Bletch, Heidi snaps out of her current state and realizes she just murdered several innocents, as a result she doesn't puts any resistance to her arrest nor does anything against Arthur calling the cops on her, instead just singing her song while awaiting her punishment..
  • Pink Girl, Blue Boy: The pink to Bletch's blue.
  • Woman Scorned: Once she discovers that Bletch was not only cheating on her, but also was about to kick her off the show once it got picked up by a network, she went mad and murderous.

     Sidney the Elephant
"It's not mine, Sandy! You know it's not!"
Voiced by: Mark Wright

A blue elephant with depression issues who is trying to dodge a paternity suit filed against him. On the show, he acts as an animal trainer.

  • The Eeyore: Rarely shows any emotion beyond sadness and depression.
  • Fat Bastard: Subverted. He is a whiny elephant who refuses to admit Seymour is his son, but he was more than willing to save his son at the cost of his own knees.
  • Honorable Elephant: Played with. While he does have issues, he’s not nearly as bad as some of the other Feebles- just compare him to Bletch and Trevor, for example. He also runs into the range of machine gun fire to save his son, and he's one of the few Feebles to survive the film.
  • Who's Your Daddy?: The main part of Sidney's story within the movie is him dealing with a paternity suit. He continually claims that baby Seymour is not his son, pointing out that Sandy's slept with half of the cast — even though the kid has the legs of a chicken and the upper torso of an elephant.

     Harry the Hare
Voiced by: Ross Jolly

A white hare and the MC for the 'Fabulous Feebles Variety Hour' who is addicted to sex and ends up catching an STD for it.

  • Butt-Monkey: After being diagnosed with 'The Big One'. He gets more and more sick, and T.W. Fly exploits his misery in order to get a journalistic scoop.
  • Hope Spot: When it turns out that he doesn't have 'The Big One', it seems like he's going to live, only to get blasted to bits by Heidi.
  • Instant Illness: Among the film's very worst offenders of gross-outs. As Harry rapidly falls victim to disease, he turns into a revolting sight. First, he gets rashes and sores, then his tongue becomes swollen and veiny to the point of turning blue-green, his nose seeps with mucus, his fur starts to look soiled and blemished, he develops bile-filled boils that he tries to pop away before going onstage and ends up splattering the vanity mirrors in the dressing room with pus, and when he very weakly emerges from his carrot to greet the audience, he immediately projectile vomits all over the stage, singers, and props, horrifying everyone and sending the already beleaguered Sebastian into a tailspin.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: An affable enough guy who just happens to really love sex. It bites him in the ass when doctors say he has 'The Big One'.

     Robert the Hedgehog
Pardon me, I'm new here.
Voiced by: Mark Hadlow

A newcomer to the Feebles troupe, Robert is a young, British hedgehog who soon starts a relationship with Lucille.

  • Ascended Fanboy: He loves the Feebles so much, he decided to join them.
  • Babies Ever After: With Lucille.
  • Doing It for the Art: In-Universe. He doesn't care about the money. It's an honor just to work with the Feebles.
  • Drugs Are Bad: He does not think it's right to abuse your body in such a way. In fact, he hates drugs so much, that he actually dumps Lucille when he finds her drinking. He gets back with her, though.
  • Elmuh Fudd Syndwome: Replaces his "R's" with "W's". Trevor and Sebastian mock him for it.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Most of the Feebles aren't exactly nice to him. The only characters to treat him with any respect are Lucille, Arthur and Wynyard. Not that the hedgehog shows that many signs of resentment for it.
  • Love at First Sight: Falls for Lucille the instant he lays eyes on her.
  • Naïve Newcomer: He's pretty shy.
  • Nice Guy: Is tied with Arthur for the nicest male in the film.
  • Official Couple: With Lucille, in the end.
  • Serenade Your Lover: At the suggestion of Arthur. And it works!

     Lucille the Poodle
Easily the best female in the movie.
Voiced by: Donna Akersten

A white poodle who is a member of the Feebles Chorus. She begins dating Robert and even gets engaged with him. Unfortunately, Trevor has other plans...

  • Beauty Equals Goodness: She is the only female character who is not designed to look repulsive, and as such is the nicest of them.
  • Break the Cutie: Trevor breaks her relationship with Robert by drugging and molesting her, tricking Robert into thinking she's having an affair. She tries to tell Robert the truth, but he ignores her and walks away, leaving the poor dog to sob at her loss. Thankfully, Robert has a change of heart in the end.
  • Damsel in Distress: Comes very close to getting gunned down by Heidi.
  • Dog Stereotype: Subverted. While she is female like most fictional poodles, she is not the snobbish, Rich Bitch Psycho Poodle that you'd probably expect. And that's pretty telling, given the nature of this film.
  • Dude Magnet: Downplayed. Only two male characters show any interest in her. There's Nice Guy hedgehog Robert, her boyfriend and eventual husband, and then there's Jerkass Hate Sink rat Trevor.
  • Nice Gal: The only female with no negative characteristics. Aside from the occasional drinking, of course.
  • Screaming Woman: Twice: First when Heidi swings in with a machine-gun, and again when Robert falls out of sight after hitting Trevor.

     Samantha the Pussy
Bad kitty!
Voiced by: Donna Akersten

Bletch's mistress, with whom he is cheating on Heidi. She and Heidi end up becoming rivals.

  • Asshole Victim: She's the first victim of Heidi's massacre, but considering all she's done to Heidi throughout the movie without shedding a tear, it's safe to say she won't be missed.
  • Betty and Veronica: The Veronica to Heidi's Betty. Doesn't really matter, though, since Bletch has already chosen Veronica and is only humoring Heidi until he sees fit to kick her out.
  • Bullying a Dragon: She taunts and insults Heidi just as the latter is about to kill herself... with a machine gun! No points for guessing what happens right after.
  • Cats Are Mean: Rude, sassy, and abhorrent, she is.
  • Chubby Chaser: She certainly seems turned on by Bletch.
  • Dark Mistress: She is Bletch's secret girlfriend, with whom he has been cheating on Heidi.
  • Fan Disservice: Her sex scenes with Bletch are... not very appealing.
  • Hate Sink: Like Bletch and Trevor she spends all her screentime being a selfish, unlikable and depraved person who isn't portrayed in a favorable light in any way.
  • Huge Guy, Tiny Girl: With Bletch. Pretty much a given since she's a cat and he's a walrus.
  • The Immodest Orgasm: She makes high-pitched squeaking sounds while having sex with Bletch.
  • Interspecies Romance: With Bletch a walrus.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: She only appears in five scenes, but in four of them, she has a huge impact:
    • Her first scene shows that Bletch is cheating on Heidi with her.
    • Her second scene has her insult Heidi and reveal the affair, causing Heidi to go into depression and think about the good ol' days.
    • Her fourth scene has Heidi discover the affair, sending her into a depressed frenzy where she refuses to perform.
    • Her fifth and final scene has her mock Heidi as the hippo is about to shoot herself. This inspires Heidi to kill Samantha- and everyone else -instead!
  • Stupid Evil: Compared to Bletch who tries and stay on Heidi's good graces long enough for his show to be picked up so only then he fires her, Samantha acts unpleasant to Heidi all the time and needlessly reveals Bletch's cheating to spite the hippo which complicates Bletch's plans big time. It gets worse when she finds Heidi about to shoot herself with a machine gun and has the bright idea of taunting her about it. She gets turned into swiss cheese for her stupidity.
  • Too Dumb to Live: What did she think was going to happen, mocking somebody attempting suicide while holding a machine gun?
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: If she hadn't made fun of a suicidal Heidi, a lot of people would still be alive, herself and her lover included. And she would've had the stardom she wanted, too.

     Dennis the Aardvark
Voiced by: Ross Jolly

An aardvark who is a member of the Feebles' chorus. Offstage, however, he is a disgusting, panty-sniffing pervert. Trevor the rat tries to use Dennis in his new porno opposite Madame Bovine, but discovers he has a very small penis, and has to be sexually aroused through his sniffing panties.

  • Covert Pervert: Averted. Everyone knows who he is and what he does.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Gets his nose melted off by the line of borax he takes a hit of.
  • Fan Disservice: His sex scene with Daisy.
  • The Friend Nobody Likes: Nobody seems fond of him, so it should come as no surprise when he is never mentioned again after his death.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: Bletch tests some drugs on him, and the aardvark ends up dead as a result.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: Inverted. He speaks with a high-pitched voice, but after he snorts the borax he has a lower-pitched scream.
  • Teeny Weenie: Trevor tries to recruit him in an impromptu production, only to discover he has a micropenis.

     Abi the Contortionist
He will never frown!
Voiced by: Ross Jolly

An Indian contortionist whose most recent act results in him getting his head stuck up his ass.

  • Ambiguously Human: Possibly. He's portrayed as a puppet, like the animal characters, instead of a live-action human, so what he's supposed to be in-universe isn't entirely clear.
  • Ass Shove: End up with his head shoved up his rectum.
  • Lions and Tigers and Humans... Oh, My!: A human in an otherwise animal-filled cast. However, like the animal characters, he is a puppet.
  • Rubber Man: Comes with the territory of being a contortionist.
  • Token Human: A lot of people think there aren't any humans in the film. Not true. However, Abi is still a puppet.
  • Worldbuilding: Humans exist in this universe.
  • Yank the Dog's Chain: Finally - and quite literally - pulls his head out of his ass, only for a few errant bullets from Heidi's gun to knock his bed of nails off a high shelf and right on top of him.

     Wynyard the Frog 
A knife-throwing frog that happens to be addicted to heroin and was in the Vietnam War.
That's a big needle!
Voiced by: Brian Sergent

  • Addled Addict: Practically a poster child for this trope. His drug problem has only gotten worse since he left Vietnam.
  • Dirty Coward: Left his commanding officer (and best friend) to die at the hands of the Viet Cong.
  • Drugs Are Bad: They've really done a number on him.
  • Expy: His voice and manner of speaking are patterned after Reverend Jim Ignatowski, a character with a similar drug problem.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: During the live show, he loses his grip on one of his throwing knives. It flies up in the air and goes right through his skull, killing him.
  • Knife-Throwing Act: He has a terrible case of the shakes and is prone to hallucinations, which can be literally fatal for his assistants. And himself, as demonstrated during the live show.
  • Shell-Shocked Veteran: He is still traumatized from his experience in Vietnam. His hallucination of Robert being a Vietnamese soldier drives him to nearly kill Robert during the live show and ultimately leads to his own death.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: He's such an unsteady hand that he kills his assistant during rehearsal. And later, himself.

Feebles Staff

     Sebastian the Fox
"We've got no alternative but to reinstate my song!"
Voiced by: Stuart Devenie

A flamboyant fox in charge of organizing the show.

  • A Lighter Shade of Grey: He's not the best person but he's nowhere near as horrible as Bletch or Trevor or F.W. Fly.
  • Camp Gay: Not outright confirmed, but he has many of the mannerisms, and his big number is titled "Sodomy".
  • Dirty Coward: He survives Heidi's rampage by ducking into Harry's carrot. After the massacre, he becomes famous for a autobiography that paints him as the hero of the catastrophe.
  • Eye Scream: He is seen in the "Where Are They Now?" Epilogue with an eyepatch, implying he lost an eye trying to escape.
  • Jerkass: He's short-tempered, impatient and rude to the cast, though much of this is from the stress of getting ready for the live transmission of the show and having to deal with various screwups on the part of the performers, including Wynyard accidentally killing his assistant, Abi putting himself out of action and Sidney no longer having any animals to train.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: While he's very harsh on the cast members, he is right that Robert is showboating and ruining the opera and Heidi has been eating far too much, including gateau which she is contractually not supposed to eat at a certain point before a performance.
  • Large Ham: His big musical number.
  • Lifesaving Misfortune: Heidi's massacre likely ends up saving his life, even if he does lose an eye; Trevor and Bletch probably would have killed him otherwise for including his musical number in the show.
  • The Napoleon: His huge ego is an inversion to his considerably short height.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Is convinced he's the one thing holding the whole show together.

     Arthur the Worm
A worm you won't find disgusting.
Voiced by: Peter Vere-Jones

An elderly worm who serves as one of the show's stage managers. He is one of the very few nice and genuinely friendly characters in the film.

  • Cool Old Guy: He sounds and acts like an elderly man, and is very friendly.
  • Everyone Has Standards: As friendly as he is, even he has to admit that F.W. Fly is a real Jerkass.
  • Nice Guy: While Robert and Lucille are equally friendly, Arthur is notable in that he's one of the few members of the production staff to not be a total prick. But given that he's in the company of people like Bletch, Trevor and Sebastian, it's easy to see him as the white sheep of the bunch.
  • Ridiculously Cute Critter: Would you expect to find a worm so enticing?
  • Shipper on Deck: His biggest role is successfully helping the shy Robert to win the love of his crush, Lucille.
  • Smoking Is Cool: The closest thing to "bad" about him, and it isn't even that much. He seems to favor cigars, though he reveals he hasn't smoked since he was 21.
  • Unwitting Instigator of Doom: He's one of the few characters in this movie who kills anyone completely by accident. Namely, he loses control of a barrel which ends up running over and crushing Sidney's pets.

Bletch's Gang

     Bletch the Walrus
"This is a family show, for Christ's sake!"
Voiced by: Peter Vere-Jones

A dark-blue walrus who serves as the main antagonist of the film. He is the show's manager and is also the leader of a small, drug dealing mob.

Bletch met Heidi many years ago at a night club. Enticed by her voice, he offered to manage her, eventually becoming her boyfriend. However, once Heidi grew older and fatter, Bletch decided he was not attracted to her anymore. The only reason he even puts up with her is anymore because she's the main attraction!

  • Affably Evil: Despite his coarse actions throughout the film, he does have three moments that suggest this. For example, his love for Heidi, though gone, was quite endearing. Although, whether or not he actually did love her is is open to interpretation. He treats Arthur the Worm with respect and offers him a seat on the balcony during the premiere. And despite being a drug dealer and a murderer, even he has to draw the line at Sebastian's highly inappropriate musical number, telling the fox, with good reason, that the network striking a deal with the Feebles would never allow such a song to be performed on their show.
  • Aerith and Bob: His name is somewhat out of place compared to the other characters, as it's not a real name. It's possible it's a nickname (or a shortened version of a longer name, like "Bletchley"), but the film doesn't elaborate on what the case is.
  • Amazing Technicolor Wildlife: A blue walrus? They're a thing in this universe, apparently. However, there are times where he may seem gray.
  • Asshole Victim: It's pretty hard to feel sorry for him when Heidi blows his brains out.
  • Bad Boss: Seems unfazed when Barry dies.
  • Behind the Black: How he walks. He always stands with his tail flat on the ground, and he walks surprisingly fluently, almost human-like. We only get to see him walk from the waist up, however.
  • Big Bad: His cruelty, corruption and evil schemes drive the plot and despite Heidi becoming a bigger threat than him once she goes down the path of murderous rage, he still proves to be worse than her.
  • Cool Car: No crime lord is complete without their own limo!
  • Dark Is Evil: He's quite sinister-looking.
  • Death by Irony: First character of the cast to kill somebody, last casualty of Heidi's rampage. And it's caused by one of his own guns, no less!
  • Depraved Kids' Show Host: In spades! While many other characters could certainly qualify, Bletch takes the cake. When he's not working as the producer and manager at the theatre, he's dealing drugs and cheating on his girlfriend. He's also willing to kill people at even the slightest provocation.
  • Dirty Old Man: Heidi was only 16 when Bletch met and seduced her into working for him.
  • The Don: The chief of a drug mob. Trevor and Barry both refer to him as "boss."
  • Easily Forgiven: All he has to do is say "I love you" to make Heidi stop bawling. So much so that it (almost) saves his life in the end.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: As bad as Bletch is, he seems pretty horrified when Harry becomes so ridden by his disease that he vomits all over the stage and when Wynyard ends up killing himself during the live show, and both he and Trevor are disgusted when Sebastian decides to do his "Sodomy" number.
  • Evil Eyebrows: He almost always has a rather angry look on his face.
  • Evil Versus Evil: Him and his gang against Mr. Big and his gang. Bletch comes out on top, of course.
  • Fat Bastard: About as fat as Heidi, and is without a doubt the worst man a woman could ask for.
  • Furry Reminder: He's a walrus, and in one scene, he remorselessly devours a guppy auditioning for a part in the troupe.
  • Gold-Colored Superiority: Downplayed. The shirt for his tuxedo is gold in color.
  • Gonk: Bletch's ugliness emphasizes his villainy.
  • Greed: He'll do anything for money; drug deals, porn flicks, manipulating Heidi. As long as it puts cash on his desk, he's all game for it.
  • Half-Dressed Cartoon Animal: Justified. As a walrus, he has no legs, just a tail. Therefore, he can only wear the top half of his suit.
  • Hate Sink: Bletch's treatment of Heidi is nothing short of atrocious and earns him this status.
  • Hypocrite: He dumps Heidi for her weight, despite being rather heavy himself.
  • Idiot Ball: He's smart enough to test the drugs he's given, but not smart enough to run away from Heidi, even when she's on the ground and he's in a balcony!
  • Interspecies Romance: With Heidi, and later Samantha.
  • Large and in Charge: The tallest member of his gang and the leader as well. He's also the manager of the theatre.
  • The Leader: Of a Terrible Trio of mobsters.
  • Man of Wealth and Taste: Except for the golf scene, he is always wearing a suit of sorts.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Annoyed by a singing fish? Eat him. Find out someone wrote a nasty newspaper article about one of your employees? Tear off his wings and flush him down the toilet. Worried your TV deal is down in the shit thanks to a Prima Donna Director? Order your right-hand man to kill him.
  • Obviously Evil: It's hard to look at him and not see a villain.
  • Oh, Crap!:
    • His reaction when he sees the Giant Spider.
    • He gets a bigger one when he realizes that Sebastian will perform his raunchy number after all.
    • And most of all he full on panics when Heidi commences her murderous rampage.
  • Pantsless Males, Fully-Dressed Females: As stated above, he does not wear pants. However, both of his love interests- Heidi and Samantha -wear full dresses with shoes.
  • Pet the Dog: As mentioned in Affably Evil, he treats Arthur nicely as well as having some relatively sincere friendliness with Trevor and Samantha.
  • Pink Girl, Blue Boy: Blue to Heidi's pink.
  • Pragmatic Villainy: He does not want Heidi to find out he's cheating on her despite hating her greatly and wanting to kick her off as soon as possible since she's too big of a star in The Feeble Variety Hour for him to remove her without warning, sadly his mistress Samantha isn't as intelligent.
  • Serious Business: He takes the show he works on very seriously, to the point where he is willing to sadistically murder people just to protect it, both outsiders and his own staff.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: "Shit" seems to be his favorite word.
  • The Sociopath: High functioning enough to manage a successful variety show, yet still a murderous, cold-blooded Jerkass Bad Boss who treats his longtime, devoted girlfriend like crap and planning to dump and kick her out of the show once she is no longer needed.
  • Tailfin Walking: Averted. Unlike most anthropomorphic walruses, his tail is long. While his walking is quite human and is always seen from the waist up, we can assume he gets around by either slithering or inching.
  • Terrible Trio: With Trevor and Barry as the three of the most evil characters of the movie and the most prominent.
  • Too Dumb to Live: When Heidi comes in guns blazing, he has several chances to escape but would rather stay behind and distract her to try and get her killed by Trevor. Then even when she calms down he still tries and get a last go at her, getting killed for his recklessness.
  • Ungrateful Bastard: So, Heidi helped you fulfill your goal to get a TV show picked up? Well, nothing left to do but fire the old girl, huh?
  • Vanity License Plate: On the front and the back! It says "BLETCH1."
  • Villainous Friendship: With Trevor and to a lesser extent Barry. While he leaves Barry to die without hesitation, Trevor does at least remain loyal to the end to him and he trusts him with killing Heidi while her guard is down.
  • Villain Protagonist: Much of the film is dedicated to him and his drug business. In fact, at the film's one-hour mark, some may even see him as a Spotlight Stealing Character.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: When the Giant Spider tries to kill him, he exclaims, "I hate arachnids!"
  • Wily Walrus: Bletch is a sadistic walrus who runs a drug mob and abuses his girlfriend.
  • You Have Outlived Your Usefulness: A non-lethal variant: after Heidi's performance earns the Feebles a syndicated series, Bletch decides he doesn't need her anymore and no longer has to keep her on the show. So he both dumps and fires her! At the same time! Unsurprisingly, this ends up being a major contributing factor to Heidi's attempted suicide and subsequent rampage.

     Trevor the Rat
"You may be "Wobert" to your friends, but you're fly shit to me! Piss off!"
Voiced by: Brian Sergent

A gray rat who acts as Bletch's right-hand man.

  • The Dragon: To Bletch.
  • Hate Sink: A foul, scummy bastard clearly designed to be seen as unpleasant.
  • Jerkass: And in a movie full of violent and depraved characters, it says quite a lot about Trevor's character when one of his defining personality tics is just how much of a jackass he is. Even Bletch shows more honorable qualities than he does.
  • Kick the Dog: Mistreats Heidi, Robert, Lucille, and Arthur.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: His actions towards Lucille infuriate Robert, so the hedgehog decides to teach Trevor a lesson in the climax by knocking him over, allowing Heidi the chance to turn the little bastard into chunky salsa.
  • Ludicrous Gibs: Gets blown into meaty chunks by Heidi moments after Robert knocks him over.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: His voice is very much based on Peter Lorre.
  • The Sociopath: Just like Bletch, this slimy vermin doesn't care about others unless they benefit him in some way. He's just far worse at hiding his true colors.
  • Villainous Crush: On Lucille.
  • Villainous Friendship: With Bletch. Unlike most everyone else Trevor and his boss get along quite well. Their shared sadism might be why.
  • You Dirty Rat!: The living embodiment of this trope! He murders people, deals drugs, shoots pornos, and even tries to rape one of his boss's own employees! Robert even calls him a dirty rat!

     Barry the Bulldog
Voiced by: Mark Hadlow

A bulldog who works for Bletch.

  • The Brute: To Bletch.
  • Bully Bulldog: A thuggish, menacing bodyguard bulldog who can rip your arms off in seconds.
  • Evil Brit: Of the thuggish variety, complete with a Cockney accent.
  • Fangs Are Evil: Pretty much a given.
  • Hidden Depths: For a tattooed brute like himself, he sure can sing!
  • Off with His Head!: He gets killed by the Giant Spider this way.
  • Sacrificial Lamb: He gets little character development and is eventually killed by a giant spider. Bletch and Trevor make no attempt to rescue him, and act as if he never even existed afterwards.
  • Singing Voice Dissonance: He has a good operatic voice when he's singing. When he's talking, he speaks crudely.
  • Villainous Cheekbones: As is common for a bulldog.
  • Villainous Friendship: With Bletch. Although it's none too deep a bond given that Bletch completely disregards him after abandoning Barry to be eaten by the giant spider.

Mr. Big's Gang

     Mr. Big the Whale
Voiced by: Ross Jolly

A whale who serves as a drug supplier to Bletch. Like Bletch, he is the leader of a mob, albeit a considerably larger one.

  • Artistic License – Biology: He looks more like a dinosaur than a whale. His teeth also don't look right.
  • Ass Shove: Inverted. Bletch and Trevor kill him by driving through his insides and tearing out of his anus, ripping a hole in his tail. Word of God confirms that the whale dies from this.
  • The Don: Like Bletch, he is the leader of a drug mob.
  • Evil Laugh: Delivers one as he attempts to kill Bletch and Trevor.
  • Final Boss: The last baddie Bletch has to deal with during his journey with Trevor.
  • The Ghost: Subverted when he shows up during the docks scene.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: He tries to kill Bletch and Trevor by eating them, but they drive out of his anus and end up killing him.
  • Informed Species: Word of God says he's a whale, but he doesn't look like one. He's obviously some sort of big sea creature, but his sharp teeth and scaly-looking skin don't seem particularly whale-like.
  • Irony: His last words to Bletch and Trevor are "Kiss your ass goodbye!" Moments later, he dies by having his own ass ripped out by Bletch's car.
  • Large and in Charge: A whale who leads a drug mob of his own. Word of God says he was the biggest puppet in the film, at 20 feet long.
  • Large Ham: Has a deep, booming voice due to his size.
  • Meaningful Name: He's a whale. Enough said.
  • Scary Teeth: Comes with the Artistic License.

     Cedric the Warthog
Voiced by: Stuart Devenie

Mr. Big's right-hand man. He sells Bletch drugs and is also the leader of his own gang of crabs.

  • Benevolent Boss: Implied. While he isn't so nice to Louie, he does get along with a crab in one scene, and even seems royally pissed off when said crab is run over by Bletch and Co.
  • The Dragon: To Mr. Big.
  • Dropped a Bridge on Him: His death consists of Barry stabbing him in the chest. That's it.
  • Hidden Depths: He actually enjoys golf and shows interest in joining the local club.
  • Messy Pig: A warthog who deals drugs and mentions killing and dry-humping somebody.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot
  • Verbal Tic: He seems quite fond of the word "bastard." It's even one of his dying words!
  • Violent Glaswegian: An explicitly Scottish, thuggish drug dealer.

     Louie the Dog
"It's 100% pure, uncut!"
Voiced by: Mark Wright

Cedric's agent who sells Bletch borax, telling him it's cocaine.

     The Crabs
Attack Its Weak Point for massive damage!
Voiced by: Mark Wright

A gang of crabs who work for Cedric.

     The Spider
Going somewhere?
Voiced by: Brian Sergent

A huge spider who is, from the looks of it, helping Cedric load some crates of drugs onto a ship.


     F.W. Fly
What's the scoop?
Voiced by: Brian Sergent

A fly working as a paparazzo that writes all kinds of stories of the Feebles cast.

  • Asshole Victim: See Laser-Guided Karma.
  • Big Creepy-Crawlies: He's about the size of a football.
  • Coldblooded Torture: On the receiving end of this, courtesy of Bletch. He gets his wings pulled out while being grilled for information before being flushed down the toilet.
  • Cruel and Unusual Death: Gets his wings pulled out by Bletch, then is flushed away in the toilet to drown in the sewer system.
  • Fly Crazy: Annoying, invasive, disgusting, and an overall pest. Just like real flies!
  • Jerkass: Tellingly, even Arthur thinks so.
  • Jerkass Has a Point: Whilst he's a muckraking papparazo, he is completely correct - and sincere - in warning Robert that a gig with the Feebles is not all that it's cracked up to be.
  • Kick the Dog: Constantly torments Harry while he is severely ill.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: As soon as Bletch finds out about F.W.'s latest story, the not-so-little bug goes bye-bye. Painfully.
  • Leitmotif: Has one being "Psycho" Strings.
  • Only One Name: The only character to avert this trope. His first initials and surname are both known.
  • Pet the Dog: Yes, he's a muckraking paparazzo, but he does take Robert to Arthur and sincerely warns him that he will soon learn that a gig with the Feebles is not all that it's cracked up to be.
  • Species Surname: His last name is "Fly."
  • Stealth Pun: He writes stories that (according to Arthur) contain lies and carries a yellow notebook. He's a yellow journalist. He's also both a muckraker with a taste for eating, well, muck, and gets much of his information from being a literal fly on the wall.
  • Talking Animal: He's really just an oversized fly.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: Being a fly, he likes to eat shit. This is exactly as appealing as it sounds...

"Is something the matter, Mr. Bletch?"
Voiced by: Mark Wright

A small fish who tries to audition for the Feebles. It... doesn't go well.

     Dr. Quack the Duck
"I'll send ya my bill."
Voiced by: Brian Sergent

A duck doctor who examines Harry.

     Madame Bovine and the Masked Masochist 
Voiced by: Stuart Devenie (Madame Bovine) and Mark Wright (The Masked Masochist)

A cow and a weta respectively, who are actors in Trevor's porn films

     Tribble-like Creatures
"It took me six months to train that lot!"
Small tribble-like creatures that Sidney trained for his upcoming act... they get crushed by a barrel thanks to Arthur's clumsiness.
  • Body Horror: They end up becoming crushed, bloody meat thanks to an out-of-control barrel.
  • Cartoon Creature: Unlike the other animal characters, they don't seem to be based off any real type of animals.
  • Expy: Of the tribbles from Star Trek: The Original Series.
  • No Name Given: They aren't named or referred to as anything. Fans refer to them as "Tribble-like creatures".
  • The Speechless: The creatures don't speak, they instead make cooing and squeaking sounds.
  • Sidekick Creature Nuisance: They get up to mischief when left unattended and bother Sidney to no end.
  • Squashed Flat: They are flattened by an out-of-control barrel as soon as Sidney kicks them out of his room.
  • There Is No Kill Like Overkill: All of the creatures are flattened by a barrel and then have their corpses digested by Trevor.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Instead of thinking to jump out of the way, the creatures head straight into the rolling barrel. Justified, as they are unknown, tiny animals.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: They manage to survive for seventeen and a half minutes in the movie before being killed in the only scene where they are prominent.