- Voiced by: Chris Alex
- "Probably because I'm a dangerous sociopath with a long history of violence. I don't understand how you keep forgetting that."
One of the two titular llamas, Carl is a vicious murderer, who doesn't take any of his crimes seriously.
- Affably Evil: Despite his murderous tendencies, he is genuinely kind towards Paul and values their friendship. Some of his crimes are even intended as favors for Paul.
- Alas, Poor Villain: After learning he accidentally killed Paul during his 15-year rampage, he goes up to a bridge, has an imaginary conversation with Paul, and jumps to his death with tears streaming down his face.
- Animalistic Abomination: Paul did mention him "unhinging his jaw like a snake" and that it was horrible in one episode. Given what we see him do on a regular, he teeters on this, however, it he looks mostly like a fairly normal llama for the most part.
- Attention Whore: Its implied in several episodes that Carl does the things he does for Pauls attention. In episode 3, Paul says he isnt even shocked anymore and that killing people has become the norm for Carl, to which Carl responds by saying he will have to try harder next time. In episode 4, Carl surprises Paul with the gigantic explosion of their city and a bunch of faces tied to balloons floating down (a major step up from what he normally does). In episode 5, Paul has an underwhelming reaction to the crack in space time that collects millions of baby hands and explains that after the incident with the nuke and the faces happened he wasnt really affected anymore, to which Carl is exasperated. Finally, in episode 8, it appears Carl is getting desperate in his attempts to horrify Paul after he leaves him. Such examples include him sending Paul a bleeding and screaming apology piano, framing him as the leader of a Russian opium cartel by wearing a Paul mask he made of him, mentioning how he filled the house with swans and burned it down after Paul left him, and arranging for a swan piano to drop into Pauls new apartment when he chooses to ignore him. When said swan piano drops into the apartment, Carl gets a satisfied reaction to Paul yelling at him for it (complete with a joyful youre welcome!)
- Big Bad: Every bad thing that happens in the series is, in every way, his fault.
- Card-Carrying Villain: See the above quote. Also, when Paul tells him his meat dragon looks terrifying, Carl responds with "Thank you".
- Driven to Suicide: At the very end of the series, he kills himself in grief over accidentally killing Paul during his rampage.
- Even Evil Has Loved Ones: He really did care for Paul and was horrified and saddened to learn he accidentally killed him.
- For the Evulz: While some of his victims did something to piss him off, he mostly just kills random people for no real reason (though its implied he does it for attention).
- Inexplicably Horrifying: It's never actually explained how Carl is capable of the various things he does, most of which should be impossible anatomically, logistically, or through the simple laws of physics. The impossibility of some of Carl's actions is occasionally touched upon - Paul comments on how bizarre it was that he was able to unhinge his jaw enough to swallow a person whole and how unlikely it was that he was able to acquire & set off a nuke - while Carl himself, attempting to bait Paul, questions how he was able to tear open a hole in space-time through which to steal baby hands, though by that point Paul has resigned himself to not knowing "how or why" Carl does anything.
- Laughably Evil: The whole series revolves around him being this.Paul: What is wrong with you, Carl?
Carl: Well I kill people, and I eat hands, that's... that's two things.
- Mad Artist: Often describes his atrocities as works of art.
- My God, What Have I Done?: He breaks down in tears and jumps off a bridge after finding Paul's skeleton, dead thanks to Carl's massacre of the entire world.
- Never My Fault: He will find any excuse to blame his actions on something else, including society, the government, and phantoms, even if it's blatantly obvious he did it.
- Nice Hat: His green chulo.
- Omnicidal Maniac: He started the series killing one person, and ended it by killing himself after turning the earth into a lifeless, bloody wasteland. He might not have escalated quite to this level if Paul had stayed with him (though he'd still killed many, many, many people by that point), but all bets were off once he was alone and the Sanity Slippage began to set in.
- Poke the Poodle: Surprising, considering it's Carl. However, taking into account that it was the ad for the iOS game, "Llamas with Hats: Cruise Catastrophe", this is probably non-canon.The Narrator: Buy [the game] today, or Carl will sneak into your home and leave a delightful muffin basket on your dresser.Carl: All of them are bran.
- Politically Incorrect Villain: "Whitey's gotta pay. And the payment is baby hands".
- Sanity Slippage: After Paul leaves in Episode 6, he becomes increasingly mentally unhinged as the series progresses.
- Serial Killer: It's hard to tell exactly how many people he did kill or what type he is but it would be suffice enough to say he's this.
- The Sociopath: As he admitted himself in the above quote.
- Soft-Spoken Sadist: He's comically nonchalant about killing people, though his voice gets a bit louder after he destroys all other life on Earth.In that case, I should probably mention I've been filling our luggage with orphan meat.
- Swallowed Whole: Did this to a hotel bartender while on a vacation with Paul.Paul: It was horrifying! Your mouth unhinged like a snake!
- Troll: Denies blatantly obvious things such as the fact that he stabbed a man to death or tracked mud into the house. It's unclear if he's this trope or if his later acknowledgements of his horrendous crimes are brief moments of lucidity in a troubled mind.
- Villainous BSoD: Goes through a major one in the final episode when he finds out he accidentally killed Paul.
- Villain Protagonist: While he's one of the protagonists of the series, he's also a violent sociopath and a serial killer.
- Would Hurt a Child: Carl allegedly headbutted children off the side of the cruise ship in episode 2. Episode 3 has it implied that he killed orphans to use their meat to build a "meat dragon". And of course, there were bound to be children in the city he nuked in episode 4. By episode 5, Carl steals the hands of millions of babies. By episode 6, he has built a conveyor belt to carry ground-up orphan meat through the house, and he's finished the aforementioned meat dragon. To top it all off, he ends up destroying all life on earth in episode 11.Carl: It's not a meat grinder, it's an orphan-stomper.
- Voiced by: Jason Steele
Paul is Carl's roommate, who is constantly shocked by Carl's increasingly violent crimes.
- Conditioned to Accept Horror: By episode 5, he's gotten used to or, at least, slightly less annoyed with Carl's antics.
- Dude Looks Like a Lady: Most viewers pre-episode 3 mistook him for a woman thanks to his androgynous voice and flowered hat. Even his own roommate thought he was a woman!
- Late-Arrival Spoiler: His name was meant to be a surprise in Episode 3, but it's common knowledge now.
- Killed Offscreen: Carl inadvertently kills him sometime during 15-year rampage between Episodes 10 and 11.
- Morality Chain: As it turns out, he's the only thing that keeps Carl relatively (very, very relatively) subdued in his crimes. Left to his own devices Carl eventually ends up murdering everyone on the planet.
- Nice Hat: His sunhat with a flower.
- Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: Decides to leave in Episode 6, driving Carl's ensuing Sanity Slippage.
- Straight Man: He's the guy who Carl bounces off of, reacting with horror to his roommate's latest atrocity.
- Unwitting Instigator of Doom: Had no way to know how insane Carl would be driven in his absence, and the consequences that this would have.
The Paul Mask
- Voiced by: Jason Steele
A mask Carl made to replace Paul after the latter left in Episode 6. As of Episode 9, Carl begins hallucinating that the mask actually is Paul.
- Chekhov's Gun/Chekhov's Gunman: Introduced for comedy in Episodes 7 and 8, but became much more important when it supposedly became sentient in Episode 9.
- Voice of the Legion: His voice is slightly warped and something of a low pitch echo.
- Flanderization: In-universe. He yells "Caaaarrrllll" far, far more than the real Paul ever did. He even invokes this in Carl, turning him from a cheerful serial killer to a bloodthirsty Omnicidal Maniac.
- Greater-Scope Villain: Of episode 9 onwards, as Carl's evil acts from that point on are done at its command.
- Knight of Cerebus: Carl was a villain, but a hilarious one whose many evil acts were played for laughs. The Paul mask, however, finds no pleasure in killing but orders him to do it anyway, shifting the series from a Black Comedy to a Tragic Comedy.
- Red Eyes, Take Warning: When he begins to talk in Episode 9, his eyes start glowing red.
- Walking Spoiler: The fact that Carl begins hallucinating the mask being sentient.