The Hills (and Other relatives) | The Hills' Neighbors | Strickland Propane | Other Characters
John Redcorn III
Victor Aaron ("The Order of the Straight Arrow")
Jonathan Joss (all other appearances)
A Native American masseur, one time rock musician, and biological father of Joseph.
- Aesop Amnesia: In Season 4, the affair ends when Nancy starts falling back in love with Dale and when John Redcorn feels guilty about betraying Dale's trust when he's only ever been a good friend (and helped John Redcorn get documents that would eventually help him reclaim his peoples' land). In Season 11, he seems to have forgotten about all this and is eager to rekindle things with Nancy.
- Berserk Button: Do not imply a sexual attraction to Nancy in front of him as Hank found out in "Sug Night".
- Character Development: John Redcorn started out as a double-barreled running gag: one about his affair with Nancy, the other about his mystical Indian side. As the show went along (especially after "Nancy's Boys") he became a fairly well-rounded character, with interests and hobbies (Indian rights, his musical career) outside of womanizing. Some of his later appearances don't even reference Nancy or Joseph.
- Dreadful Musician: Played with; John Redcorn's music is pretty terrible when he tries to do hard rock with his band Big Mountain Fudgecake. To his own surprise, though, he turns out to be pretty good when he switches to playing acoustic and re-writes the lyrics from attempting to be as "metal" as possible. By the end of the show he winds up being a very successful children's entertainer.
- Everyone Has Standards: John Redcorn may be a womanizer but he won't sleep with the wives or relatives of his friends. He tells Hank as much in "Peggy's Headache." Also, after Dale proves his friendship by helping him with a lawsuit, John Redcorn decides to break up with Nancy.
- Full-Name Basis: He is never referred to as just John. It is always John Redcorn, even by his lover, Nancy.
- Heel Realization: Early in the series he thinks Dale is an annoying idiot and shamelessly sleeps with his wife, but once he discovers their shared hatred of the government they quickly become friends and he realizes his affair with Nancy is wrong.
- In "Arrow Head", he tells Hank that it's wrong to take something that isn't yours from someone else (referring to a Native American artifact Hank found in his lawn). Nancy then calls him back in to continue their affair. John Redcorn embarrassingly returns the artifact to Hank and tells him "just food for thought" and goes back into his house.
- Various episodes would have him show similar disgust over something relatively minor while he himself is engaged in an affair. Once after catching Hank walking out of the pornography section of a video store he and Nancy shook their heads in disapproval while on their way to go have sex.
- John Redcorn is very protective and affectionate toward Nancy and hates the idea of her being hit on by other men even though, again, he's not her husband. He also slept behind her back multiple times while they were together, even fathering another child around Joseph's age.
- In "Spin the Choice," John Redcorn is shown to be very resentful of the fact Dale has "stolen" Joseph from him. Never mind the fact that his decade-and-a-half-long affair with Nancy is the only reason that "his" son is being raised by another man.
- Ink-Suit Actor: It's rumored that he was modeled after Victor Aaron (the original voice actor who died before he can record any later episodes).
- Laser-Guided Karma: John Redcorn is paying for the fourteen years he slept with Nancy by watching his biological son be raised by Dale. He makes mention about loathing having to watch his son raised by an idiot, although Dale is actually an incredibly loving father even if he's a conspiracy freak. By the time the affair with Nancy ended though, it's pretty clear that even though John Redcorn is the biological father, Joseph is Dale's son regardless, and saying anything now wouldn't change that.
- Magical Native American: In the first season, every time he spoke, a gust of wind would dramatically blow through his hair. Even when indoors. Later, it's shown that he's mostly taking advantage of this to pick up women.
- Mr. Fanservice: Both in and out of universe. He's one of the only attractive adult male characters.
- Mistaken for Gay: Dale thinks he's gay, which explains why he never suspected that John Redcorn slept with Nancy. (The other reason is that he trusts Nancy and John Redcorn completely, and doesn't believe for a moment that his wife and friend would betray his trust.)
- Odd Friendship:
- With Dale. After "Nancy's Boys" they're on good terms, though Redcorn's still annoyed by Dale's weirder actions.
- John Redcorn has an oddly fond relationship with Bobby that's seen briefly whenever they're together. If nothing else he seems to appreciate the positive influence Bobby has on Joseph.
- Pet the Dog:
- While largely portrayed as unsympathetic during the first three seasons, he is one of the first people to try and stop Leanne from assaulting Peggy in Season 2.
- While still having an (unrepentant) affair with another man's wife for over a decade, John Redcorn still tries to be something of a father to Joseph, and ultimately accepts it's better not to tell him the truth, since Dale (for all his flaws) is a better father.
- In "The Witches of East Arlen," he learns of Bobby's "warlock" friends making him drink dog blood for a ceremony. His first instinct is to drive over to Hank's place and help him find Bobby.
- Really Gets Around: Admits as much to Hank in Season 3. Nancy finds out about this in Season 12 and, even though their affair has long been over, doesn't take it well.
- Ungrateful Bastard: Defied. After Dale offers to help him get some of his tribe's land returned to him, he ends his affair with Nancy realizing that it would be awful way to repay a man he considers to be a friend. Although in later seasons, he is shown wanting to having the affair back.
Milton Farnsworth "M.F." Thatherton
Burt Reynolds ("The Company Man")
Toby Huss (all other appearances)
Former Strickland Propane employee, now Buck's business opponent and mortal enemy.
- Badass Mustache: A classic horseshoe-style moustache to really tie the whole cowboy theme together.
- Corrupt Hick: Maybe even more than Buck.
- Evil Counterpart: He is Strickland's according to Hank. In reality, they're Not So Different. His business, Thatherton Fuels, is a better example being an evil counterpart to Strickland Propane as they rely heavily cutting corners and gimmicky marketing tactics towards gaining sales compared to Strickland Propane's focus on quality customer service.
- Meaningful Name: In "The Company Man", Hank assumes that M.F. stands for "Mother Fucker", when Thatherton interrupts Hank and tells his potential client that it stands for "My Friend." Word of God says that it actually stands for Milton Farnsworth.
- Nice Hat: Never seen without his cowboy hat.
- Not So Different: With his rival and former employer, Buck.
- The Rival: With Buck and, to a lesser extent, Hank.
- Say My Name: Hank will utter "Thatherton!" when he appears, narrowing his eyes at him angrily.
Wealthy Laotian businessman, and object of Kahn's borderline worship.
- The Ace: He's a rich, successful business owner.
- Affably Evil: He's polite and charming, but he's always the main antagonist in his appearances. He might not be so bad if he wasn't such a greedy, self-centered jerk.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Although this could apply to his whole family.
- Catchphrase "Super nice!"
- Even Evil Has Standards: His and Cindy's dealings with Cozy Kitchen, which managed to track them down when they tried to hide on their private villa on an island.
- Evil Counterpart:
- His family seems to exist as one for Kahn, Minh, and Connie. The three of them are obviously more Americanized by contrasting their accents, and they're much more successful then Kahn's family. Yet they seem to lack any actual morals. Chane is an egotistical spoiled wannabe whereas Connie is an intelligent Plucky Girl who wants to be a regular kid.
- Ted is also even more judgemental, snobby, and self-absorbed than Kahn, but hides it under an overly-polite facade whereas Kahn is openly a jerk but has a Hidden Heart of Gold.
- Hate Sink: While not overtly malicious, he is a cold, pompous hypocrite and any time he and his family appear, it's usually to make the Souphanousinphones look sympathetic.
- Hypocrite: Once guilt-tripped Kahn into thinking he's betrayed his heritage, yet converted from Buddhism to Protestant Christianity because it's "good for business." He justifies his materialist lifestyle by telling Kahn, "I own all of these things, but they don't own me." Also in "Trans-fascism", he gets trans-fats banned from Arlen and then gladly patronizes the illegal food truck operated by Buck. When Hank asks about this, Ted smugly says that he has the discipline to handle it.
- It's Cuban: He smokes Cohibas and once offered Hank one. Hank told him it was Cuban, broke it, and stomped on it. Ted feigned ignorance.
- Karma Houdini: Ted usually gets out of any punishment any time he does something wrong, save for a moment in "Trans-fascism", when both he and Kahn are beaten up by Rooster's crew for going to the Sugarfoot's lunch truck.
- Rail Enthusiast: Has a room with a model train layout in his house.
- Straw Hypocrite: He does not live up to any of the standards he holds everybody else in the world to. He rarely gets called on it, but when he does, he always has an excuse ready.
- Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Balding, skinny and not terribly attractive. Cindy, on the other hand, is definitely pretty.
Ted and Cindy's teenaged son, an overachieving, insufferable jerkass who enjoys tormenting Bobby and pursuing the decidedly uninterested Connie.
- Abhorrent Admirer: To Connie, who considers him "a boring know-at-all who talks about himself and cheats at miniature golf." Not helped by Kahn and Minh constantly pushing Chane on her.
- Always Someone Better: Connie is this for him. He (as well as Connie's parents) try to impress her with his achievements only for Connie to rebut that she's excelled better than Chane in the same fields. Examples being Kahn telling Connie that Chane is a second chair oboe and won second place in the science fair. Connie reminds him that she's first chair violin and won first prize in that same science fair.
- The Bully: To Bobby.
- The Casanova: He's very popular with the girls at school except for the one that he likes.
- Dirty Coward: If you notice, he never so much as touches Bobby again after the events of "Bobby Goes Nuts". He still spouts insults at him, though.
- Go-Karting with Bowser: Generally portrayed as a rival to Bobby but they occasionally team up like when Bobby joined his track team or the quiz bowl team. It's made clear that he's not happy about it, however.
- I Love You Because I Can't Control You: Heavily implied that the main reason he has any interest in Connie is because she can't stand him.
- Inconsistent Coloring: His hair color often switches between black and brown across multiple episodes.
- Insufferable Genius: He's actually a pretty smart guy, though he tends to overrate his intellectual abilities. Connie enjoys needling him about it.Connie: Why would a lama come back as a third oboe?Chane: Second, Connie!Connie: Any woodwind!
- It's All About Me: He's even more self-centered than his father, probably because Ted and Kahn are around to enable his bad behavior.
- Jerk Jock: He's on the track team. That said, the only time he shows Bobby any respect is when the latter joins the team and the coach uses Bobby as a "stick" to motivate his teammates.
- Karma Houdini: Like his dad, Chane generally gets away with his obnoxious behavior. "Bobby Goes Nuts" being a noteworthy exception.
- Laser-Guided Karma: In "Bobby Goes Nuts" and "Bobby on Track", where he gets kicked in the groin/insulted by his own track team after getting outshined, respectively. Bobby's responsible for both.
- Not Good with Rejection: His typical response to Connie's rejection is mocking (or, in a few episodes, physically attacking) Bobby.
- Real Men Wear Pink: He collects stuffed animals according to Connie.
- The Rival: To Bobby.
- Token Minority Couple: Seeks to be this with Connie. Parodied in that a big factor in pushing this are Connie's parents, who are unashamedly racist and Chane is one of the only Laotians in Arlen that's Connie's age.
Principal Carl Moss
The world-weary principal of Tom Landry Middle School.
- The Alcoholic: A functional alcoholic, but an alcoholic nonetheless.
- Apathetic Teacher: The Principal version. He's mostly trying to get by doing as little work as possible while swiping whatever bonus he could. He couldn't care less about the students' performance if he tried, unless it involves him nearly losing his job.
- Corrupt Hick: Downplayed; he's in the principal game for himself and avoids conflict at any cost, but he's more shady than immoral.
- Deadpan Snarker: Years in the education system will do that to you.
- Dirty Coward: Once fakes a heart attack to avoid casting the deciding vote at a PTA meeting.
- Evil Counterpart: Not evil per se, but a closer look shows him to be an inversion of Hank. Unlike him, Carl has a leading position for a job, is afraid to handle confrontations, and generally favors any sort of personal gain over ethic.
- Fat Slob: When your personal habits gross out Bill...
- Honest John's Dealership: Many of Carl's ideas to raise money for the schools
- Jaded Washout: He was once as confident and competent as Hank, but years of compromising and getting kicked around by the school board and the PTA have really gotten to him.
- Kavorka Man: Somehow manages to hook up with a former Playmate in "Bill Gathers Moss."
- Laser-Guided Karma: After years of cutting corners and doing the bare minimum, he gets suspended after pretending his low scoring students are learning disabled to get the schools test scores up.
- Noodle Incident: Whenever confronted by Hank over something school related, he'll mention one. Like the time he wore a Coonskin Cap through all of seventh grade, or nearly got fired by the school board for growing a ponytail.
- Took a Level in Jerkass: At first, Carl's just a hapless, beaten-down bureaucrat. Later on, he becomes more frequently associated with morally shady activities. Like placing students with middling grades in a remedial class to boost test scores ("No Bobby Left Behind"), or helping run a counterfeit clothing ring and selling the merchandise at school ("Bill Gathers Moss").
A fat bully with a weird haircut, and seemingly perpetual stuffy nose.
- The Bully: Constantly picks on Bobby.
- Creepy Child: Implied. As his teacher remarked, "The Clark Peters I know likes to burn things."
- Evil Counterpart: Clark is pretty much a fatter, meaner version of Bobby.
- Fat Bastard: He's an overweight bully.
- Those Two Bad Guys: With Dooley.
- Verbal Tic: Has a weird, unattractive habit of deeply inhaling just before speaking.
The monosyllabic bad kid at Tom Landry Middle School.
- The Bully: The most consistent one, right next to Clark.
- Captain Obvious: His entire speech pattern consists of this. He gets it from his mother.
- Creepy Monotone: He also has a very deep voice for a kid in middle school.
- Everyone Has Standards: He mistook Joseph for being gay for Bobby and simply said his alleged confession of love "took courage". He may be a bully and a jerkass but he's certainly not homophobic.
- Expy: Of Butt-head, at least vocally.
- Last-Name Basis: Most people call him by his last name, including his teachers. And his own father.
- The Quiet One: He never says more than one or two words at a time. When he's feeling particularly wordy, he'll offer the odd 4-word sentence.
- Those Two Bad Guys: With Clark.
A local whackjob. According to Dale, he fried his brain while staring at the sun once.
- Ambiguous Disorder: His childish manner of speaking and total lack of social graces suggest that he has some form of mental disability.
- Bad Boss: Puts Bobby's life in danger by trying to make him cross a racetrack during a car race to bring him a soda.
- The Bully: Whoever has the misfortune of working for him better be prepared to deal with scut jobs and verbal abuse.
- Catchphrase: "I'm Da Boss!"
- The Ditz: Even before the alleged sun incident. As Dale notes, he probably wasn't very smart to do that in the first place.
- Evil Gloating: When an enraged Hank comes after him, Jimmy mocks him from behind the fence. Cue Hank kicking it open, and giving Jimmy a Literal Ass-Kicking.
- Fat Idiot: In the literal sense of the word "idiot" (an adult with the mental faculties of a child).
- Hair-Trigger Temper: The man will explode at damn near anything.
- Insufferable Imbecile: According to Dale Gribble, Jimmy came down with a mental condition from staring at the sun for too long, though he couldn't have been too smart to do such a thing in the first place, making it a "chicken and egg" thing. Nonetheless, he's none too bright, but he's also mean and aggressive due to his mental state. When he was Bobby's boss during a NASCAR race, he forced Bobby to run across a race track to retrieve something during the race. Hank, who had been telling Bobby to be a good Yes-Man earlier, immediately kicked Jimmy's ass. In another episode, because Hank guilt-talked him into doing so, Bobby's boss of the job of the week (for-hire dog poop-scooper) hired Wichard to fake being a bully to teach Bobby that, even if highly lucrative, it was hardly the dream job he thought it was... well, the idea was that Witchard was going to fake bully the poor guy, because what he actually did was beat the living hell out of him alongside a few other hooligans, toss him into a port-a-potty, and send him rolling down a hill.
- Jerkass: The man has not a single redeeming quality about him.
- Mad Artist: He makes beer can art. He even refuses money for his beer can art, because he can't make beer can art out of money.
- Manchild: He talks and acts just like an infant. It's implied that he actually is mentally handicapped.
- No Indoor Voice: The man's indoor voice was apparently fried with his brains.
- Tempting Fate: "Nyaa, you can't get me, you can't get me." Followed quickly by an Oh, Crap! when Hank kicks the fence down.
- Perpetual Frowner: The rare times he does smile are...not pleasant.
- Pointy-Haired Boss: The kids working under him at the racetrack despise him. And with good reason.
- Recurring Extra: Usually appears once or twice a season, but rarely gets much screen time.
- Too Dumb to Live: He baked his brain staring at the sun, and made the serious error of putting Bobby in danger in front of his dad.
Peggy's boss at Sizemore Realty.
- Affably Evil: He rarely drops that smarmy smile, but he's definitely not a nice man.
- Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: On the surface, he's a generous and respectable businessman. In reality, he's a narcissistic, petty, vindictive old cheat.
- Hidden Depths: Is a passionate actor, as evidenced in "Six Characters in Search of a House".
- It's All About Me: Makes it very clear to Peggy that he's more important than any of his employees.
- Manipulative Bastard: His first episode involves getting Peggy fired from the Arlen Bystander, apparently so that he can hire her as a real estate agent. This is one of many examples.
Dale's friend, a vaguely criminal character who helps Dale with some of his shadier activities.
- Battle Butler: For Dale, though he's really more of a freelancer that Dale hires exclusively.
- Comic-Book Fantasy Casting: He resembles Danny Trejo, who would voice Enrique in the show's later years. (contrary to popular belief, Trejo never actually voiced Octavio.)
- Cool Old Guy: Has a large tattoo of Rob Zombie on his chest (as opposed to Danny Trejo's tattoo of a beautiful senorita).
- Villainy-Free Villain: Deliberately invoked. He looks and acts like a tough criminal, but never does anything more serious than minor fraud (like making Hank smash his fender with a crowbar). In "Redcorn Gambles With His Future," he even seems shocked when he thinks Dale wants him to kill a magician so John Redcorn can perform in his place.
Spokesman for the Mega-Lo-Mart, frequently seen around Heimlich Country.
- Adam Westing: He evidently has anger management problems. He whacked the teacher upside the head with his fugelhorn just for spelling his name wrong.
- As Himself: Started out as Mega-Lo-Mart's spokesman, before apparently relocating to Arlen permanently.
- Badass Beard: Much like the real thing, he's some pretty impressive facial hair.
- Berserk Button: Either spelling his name wrong or calling him a chick. Possibly the reason why he was in an anger management class.
- Nice Hat: His black fedora.
Luanne's boyfriend and, much to Hank's displeasure, Hank's superior as department manager at Mega-Lo-Mart.
- The Artifact: Remains in the opening credits long after he dies.
- The Atoner: His spirit visits Luanne and helps her deal with her grief and get into community college to make up for being such a jerk to her in life.
- Bastard Boyfriend: Was certainly emotionally abusive. He treated Luanne like crap through most of the relationship. His idea of a gift were CDs he didn't want anymore. When Luanne needed money, he was holding on to what he had so he could buy a trampoline. Another trampoline. Made even worse was because he had $100 more than what she was asking for.
- Catchphrase: "Hey."
- Character Death: The sole casualty of the Mega-Lo-Mart explosion.
- The Ditz: It's vaguely implied that it's because he's getting high all of the time, but he's probably just an idiot.
- Faking the Dead: Dale thought he faked his own death in order to cash in on a Mega Lo Mart insurance policy and wouldn't drop it until he opened the coffin at the funeral.
- Jerkass: He treats Luanne like a nuisance and is crass and rude to everyone else.
- Karmic Death: Killed in an explosion after he refuses to listen to Hank's warnings about propane safety.
- Last Disrespects: Between Luanne protesting the Irish occupation, Kahn being the only other person willing to speak on his behalf, and Dale throwing up in his casket, Buckley didn't exactly have a great sendoff.
- Last-Name Basis: His first name is "Mark".
- Lazy Bum: He somehow became the assistant manager of Mega-Lo-Mart's Propane Department, despite spending all of his time goofing off. When he actually does do some work, he botches it horribly and causes the whole Mega-Lo-Mart to explode, killing himself in the process.
- Too Dumb to Live: Literally. the propane tank he's improperly carrying leaks and causes an explosion that kills him.
- Ambiguously Gay: His daughter is clearly an adopted Asian and it is implied in "Strangeness on a Train" that he and Peggy's coworker are on a date. However, he also says "We decided to leave the wives at home tonight" and (jokingly?) makes passes at Peggy in "The Powderpuff Boys", rubbing her shoulders and making a joke about someone bringing a sleeping bag for multiple people at an activity. However when Peggy called out that a person should be gay openly, he seems genuinely interested to find out who this person is and unaware Peggy is referring to him.
- Camp Gay/Camp Straight: His sexual orientation is a mystery, but his level of camp is anything but subtle.
- Have I Mentioned I Am Heterosexual Today?: If indeed he is gay, his behavior in "The Powderpuff Boys" falls squarely into this category.
A government employee originally from Los Angeles who has appeared as both a social worker and a legal advisor for civil rights cases. He has attempted to get Bobby taken away from Hank, falsely believing Hank to be an abusive father, and also enforce an ill-advised policy that would force Strickland Propane to accept drug addiction as a disability. He is probably the closest thing King of the Hill has to a recurring villain.
- The Alleged Expert: One of many, many people who get on Hank's nerves because they do their assigned work without an ounce of common sense.
- Hypocrite: He claims that people like Hank, who would abuse the Americans with Disabilities Act make him sick yet he himself is abusing the Act undoubtedly to get back at Hank.
- Jerkass Has a Point / Right for the Wrong Reasons: In the episode "Junkie Business", he busts Hank for discriminating against his employees, which in reality just meant keeping Hank from firing a clearly-unreliable drug addict. Though the same episode showed that Hank did practice discriminatory hiring; he attempted to avoid hiring a Non-Christian employee (and tried to ask applicants their religious beliefs, despite the illegality of it), and wound up passing on a highly-qualified applicant simply because she was a woman.
- Nerd: He fits the stereotype, being a pale, twiggy, bespectacled bookworm.
- Obstructive Bureaucrat: He pretty much exists to make Hank's life difficult. The worst part is that he's not even good at his job(s); he just seems to like being a nuisance.
- Pet the Dog: He's present at Luanne's wedding and seems to be happy for her.
- Smug Snake: Anthony's condescending and invasive attitude has caused Hank to lose his temper with him on multiple occasions.
- Unwanted Assistance: He does seem mostly well-intentioned in wanting to help disadvantaged people, but he's unable to recognize whether those he's helping actually need (or want) his assistance. For instance, when Bobby gets a black eye from softball, he assumes Hank did it and never bothered to check with Bobby's coach.
One of Peggy's coworkers at the Arlen Bystander, a crusty, one-eyed veteran reporter with a sarcastic sense of humor. He appears a few times after Peggy leaves the Bystander.
- The Alcoholic: By his own admission. It doesn't seem to affect his character much.
- Bi the Way: In his first appearance, he mentions frequenting prostitutes and seems to be a womanizer. In "Strangers on a Train" though, it's hinted that he's dating Camp Gay PJ Finster.
- Deadpan Snarker: Sardonic comments are like a second language for him.
- Eyepatch of Power: He got it from brain tumor surgery.
- Gallows Humor: Jokes about losing his eye when the editor threw a story back in his face.
- Intrepid Reporter: A subversion, as it's implied he steals most of his stories from coworkers.
- The Rival: To Peggy in a few episodes, namely "Smoking and the Bandit."
- Sesquipedalian Loquaciousness: He has a vocabulary Peggy can only dream of. Probably comes from years of inventing headlines.
Reverend Karen Stroup
Mary Tyler Moore ("Revenge of the Lutefisk")
Ashley Gardner (all other appearances)
The pastor of Arlen First Methodist Church, who is originally from St. Paul, Minnesota.
- All Love Is Unrequited: Has a long-standing crush on Bill. They eventually date in "Passion of the Dautrieve," but it doesn't work out.
- Beware the Nice Ones: Judging from her breakup with Bill:Peggy: "I always pictured her as a crier, not a screamer."
- Comically Missing the Point: Has a tendency towards this.
- A Day in the Limelight: "Revenge of the Lutefisk" and "Passion of the Dautrieve" save her from Recurring Extra status.
- Death Glare: Gives one to Bill after their breakup.
- Fiery Redhead: Has curly, auburn hair and is a screamer.
- Forgiveness: Being a woman of God, it's pretty much part of her job. Even after Cotton's openly sexist statements about her and allegedly burning down the church (he admits it was an accident and was really taking the fall for Bobby), she forgives him and doesn't press charges.
- Glurge Addict: Loves snow babies, which irritates Bill.
- Grand Romantic Gesture: Gives up her job to date Bill, which backfires spectacularly.
- It's All About Me: Her sermons tend to vocalize problems she's having in her personal life.
- Minnesota Nice: Moved from Minnesota to Texas and is one of the few genuinely nice people in Arlen.
- Moral Guardians: A subversion. Whenever Hank brings somebody to her expecting to be this, he finds to his dismay that she's far more liberal than he thought. She openly discusses sexuality and relationships ("Luanne Virgin 2.0"), and even encourages Bobby's flirtation with Buddhism ("Won't You Pimai Neighbor?"). In other episodes, she adamantly denounces sexism ("Revenge of the Lutefisk") and Hank for his alleged racism ("Racist Dawg").
- Sexy Priest: To Bill, at least.
- Totally Radical: On a few occasions. See her cringe-worthy attempts to seem "with it" in "Reborn to Be Wild."
A recurring character in later seasons, an Arlen police officer noted for his laziness and corruption.
- Dirty Cop: He openly takes bribes from Buck in "Trans-Fascism" and is mentioned as tampering with evidence is one episode.
- Ink-Suit Actor: Looks like Fred Willard.
- Jaded Washout: Says Principal Moss: "Officer Brown may be a disgraced cop who tampered with evidence, but this here used to be a man." Officer Brown doesn't disagree.
- Knight Templar: He's eager to see "action," even when there's none to be had. He once tries to shoot Ladybird during a thunderstorm, after she's been reported as a dangerous dog). He's also a bit too enthusiastic in helping Bobby track down truant Clark Peters and Dooley, though in fairness he's been Reassigned to Antarctica and hasn't done real police work in a while.
- Police are Useless: When he's not corrupt, he's this, responding lackadaisically to serious threats. "New Cowboy on the Block" takes this Up to Eleven, as he's too impressed with Willie Lane's Super Bowl ring to stop him from harassing Hank and Co.Hank: Why would I tip a car over on my own lawn!?!Officer Brown: I don't know... it puzzles me.
- Reassigned to Antarctica: In one episode, he's demoted to policing Tom Landry Middle School.