This comic has lots of characters... But don't worry! There are a number of distinct "themes", so most of the characters are restricted to just one theme... Most of the time...
- Back from the Dead: Considering how inept Deaths are, this is common.
Themes which debuted in the comic's first year (2003)
David Morgan-Mar
The creator of the comic himself has his own theme, usually revolving around working on the comic, his everyday life, and later, being on the run from Death.
- Author Avatar: He is David Morgan-Mar, though the comic transcripts always refer to him as "Me" even when this makes no grammatical sense.
- Game Master: Early-Installment Weirdness featured him as the Game Master of every theme. This quickly faded away from every theme except Fantasy and Space, and eventually them as well.
- Grandfather Paradox: Once went back in time to murder his past self, resulting in a Reality-Breaking Paradox when he later refused to do so.
- Medium Blending: The "Me" theme is told through photographs of David himself, rather than the standard photographs of LEGO figures used through most of the themes.
An RPG campaign that is a big spoof on The Lord of the Rings and Dungeons & Dragons. The game system used for the campaign is intentionally inconsistent. One of two themes in the comic told primarily through gaming miniatures rather than LEGO figures.
Lambert
The group's merchant. Highly protective of his money.- Big Eater: While hobbits count "second breakfast" among their multiple daily meals, Lambert also indulges in second supper.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: He's the originator of the hobbit puns that show up every hundred strips or so.
Alvissa
The group's elf and bard. Also the Only Sane Man of the group.- All There in the Manual: The fact that she's a bard went entirely unmentioned in the original run of the comic; in strip #4298, 17 years into the comic, Mordekai is surprised to learn she's not a cleric.
Mordekai
The group's thief. But never call him that.
- Insistent Terminology: He's a Lovable Rogue not a thief!
- Kleptomaniac Hero: He steals from everyone they meet.
- Lovable Rogue: Insisted being called that instead of thief.
Kyros
The group's wizard. A pyromaniac wizard that frequently kills off his teammates.
- The Friend Nobody Likes: To the point that none of his companions mourned him when he got pulled into the abyss by a Balrog.
- Kill It with Fire: His usual response to problems is to apply fireballs until they are no longer problems.
- Last of His Kind: His character biography mentions he's the last survivor of an unknown civilization.
- Pyromaniac: Fire magic is basically the only kind of magic he knows, but he's damn good at it and loves to use it.
- When All You Have Is a Hammer…: How did he kill a Balrog? More fire!
Draak
A lizardman hired by Lambert to help with the group (and protect his money from Mordekai).
- Badass Bookworm: He's the smartest guy in the group.
- Eloquent in My Native Tongue: He can speak only in monosyllables in English, but, in his native tongue, he speaks very eloquently.
- Genius Bruiser: He's a great big lizard man who's highly intelligent.
- Hulk Speak: He speaks in this sort of simplistic grammar, plus never uses any word that has more than one syllable.
- Race-Name Basis: Due to the rule of writing his dialogue (that he only speaks in monosyllables), he cannot pronounce the names of any of his teammates. Therefore, Alvissa is "elf", Dwalin is "dwarf", Kyros is "mage", and Mordekai is "rogue". Lambert, however, he calls Bert.
- Smarter Than You Look: His brutish appearance and limited grasp of English belie a deep understanding of scientific concepts.
Dwalin
Your old stereotypical dwarf with Scottish accent. Got persuaded to join the group by Kyros.
- Our Dwarves Are All the Same: Unashamedly, he is an axe-wielding, alcohol-drinking, thick-bearded Scotsman who lives in an underground kingdom and has a grudge against elves.
- Sixth Ranger: He debuts and joins the party much later in the story than the other five.
A spoof of The Crocodile Hunter.
Steve
A herpetologist who loves getting up close and personal to dangerous reptiles—and then wrestling them! Has wrestled crocodiles, snakes, a shark, and Cthulhu.
- Did You Just Punch Out Cthulhu?: Literally — he's wrestled down Cthulhu several times. He's also wrestled to death the Death of Being Wrestled to Death by Steve. Yes, this gets the Paradox Department involved.
- Nightmare Fuel Station Attendant: He finds dangerous things fascinating.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: The author vehemently (jokingly) denies that he is in any way inspired by Steve Irwin.
- Only One Name: He's only ever called "Steve", even when it would make far more sense for a last name to be mentioned, as part of No Celebrities Were Harmed above.
- Wrestler in All of Us: Wrestling is his preferred method of combat, to the point that there's a Death specifically for people that he's wrestled to death.
Terry
Steve's wife and voice of reason.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: As with Steve, the author denies any connection between her and Terri Irwin; notably, they spell their first names differently.
Cthulhu
"Mighty Cthulhu is one of the Great Old Ones, an Elder God who lies in eternal deathless sleep in the sunken nightmare city of R'lyeh. Even being aware of his very existence is enough to push strong men to the brink of insanity. Not that that would ever stop Steve."-Irregular webcomics character description
- Mix-and-Match Critter: How the author made his LEGO Cthulhu: his body is a theropod dinosaur, its head replaced with a giant octopus, and his "wings" are made of the sails on the backs of other LEGO dinosaurs.
- Revenge: He wants revenge against Steve for killing him several times.
Charity Collector Guy
A guy who regularly volunteers to collect money for a variety of unusual charitable organizations. Even volunteers as a subsitute Death briefly. Also an expert in origami and astrophysics.
- Almighty Janitor: His aforementioned unusual combination of expertises make him very helpful in one of the latest attempts to reboot history.
- Incredibly Lame Pun: A lot of his appearances have this as the punch line.
Jane Goodall
A cryptozoologist turned primate researcher and reluctant ally to Steve. She's in touch with the Yeti.
- Deadpan Snarker: Very often. Especially when confronted by Steve.
- Knight in Sour Armor: She protects the world from paranormal threats and grumbles about it the whole time.
- No Celebrities Were Harmed: Averted; unlike Steve and Terry, there's no Implausible Deniability that she's based on the real Jane Goodall. One strip sees Morgan-Mar receiving a (fake) phone call from Goodall criticizing the comic, while in another, an opportunity he had to meet her for real produced a strip in which she recognizes and slaps him.
- Prim and Proper Bun: Made from a blob of blu-tack.
Serron
A sparrial, a cat-like alien, and the one who does most of the actual 'merchanting' on the ship. He's very greedy and has a penchant for bad ideas. Has the same player as Kyros.
- Cat Folk: He is a sparrial, an alien resembling a humanoid feline.
Paris
The ship's pilot. Was dead for a while. Has the same player as Alvissa.
- Death is Cheap: Constantly subverted. She could come back via cloning, but her crewmates keep accidentally screwing up her chances. She eventually comes back as a ghost, and then is brought back to life when the universe is destroyed and then recreated.
- Gender-Blender Name: In the campaign the Space theme was based on, Paris's player intended her to be male (and named after Paris of Troy), but everyone else assumed her to be female, and the player went with it.
- Mistaken for Undead: Inverted; she is a ghost but, due to the sci-fi setting, often mistaken for a holographic projection. Her character bio even expresses annoyance at the fanbase for having themselves made this mistake during the story arc in which the ship's power went out.
- Our Ghosts Are Different: As a ghost, she was partially transparent, insubstantial, and glowed in the dark. She could interface with the ship's controls to pilot it.
- Token Human: She's the only human in the otherwise alien crew of the Legacy.
Iki Piki
The ship's scientist and diplomat, a fungoid alien called a pachekki. Has the same player as Mordekai.
- Bizarre Alien Biology: His species' reproduction involves budding and spores. And the GURPS species he's based on is even weirder. It involves gender-bending every few days.
Spanners
The Legacy's engineer, a mantis-like alien of unknown origin. Has the same player as Lambert.
- Meaningful Name: He's an engineer named after a kind of wrench.
Quercus
A tree alien that Spanners has hired as his assistant.
- Meaningful Name: Quercus is the genus containing the various species of oak tree.
- Plant Aliens: He belongs to a species of tree beings from the planet Fagalia that apparently reproduces the regular plant way, through flowers and seeds.
This theme is mainly a spoof of Indiana Jones.
The Jones family
Montana "Monty" Jones
The main character of this theme. An Archaeology professor who constantly needs to fight against the Nazis to take control of powerful artifacts that the Nazis will use to conquer the world. Hates wurst.
- Embarrassing First Name: His birth name was North Dakota Jones Junior. He prefers Montana.
Prof. North Dakota Jones
Monty's father. Obsessed with the Holy Grail.
Minnesota Jones
North Dakota's father, thus Monty's grandfather. Was presumably lost after he went on dinosaur chasing.- Overly Long Name: His title? The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, JP, FRS
The Nazis
- Mad Libs Catch Phrase: Nazi science sneers at [thing to be sneered at]! Sometimes the science part is changed too.
Colonel Haken
Monty's archnemesis. Hitler-brain-in-a-jar's primary lackey when it comes to gathering powerful artifacts.
- Even Evil Has Standards: He may be a Nazi, but he enlisted to collect various Artifacts of Doom and is completely disgusted by genocide.
- Light Is Not Good: His uniform is light tan, while his alternate-universe good counterpart has a black uniform.
- The Millstone: When he was petrified, Hitler took over Europe easily.
- Obviously Evil: Let's see... Dueling Scar, Hook Hand, stereotypical "bad-guy" mustache, and a Nazi to boot.
Erwin
Haken's main lackey. Is not really as committed to the Nazi principle as others, thus is a bit more reasonable.
Hitler's Brain
Hitler's Brain in a Jar. Need I say more? Anyway, he died in the Reichstag fire and his brain was put on life support by Adam Savage to win a bet with Death. Plans to take control of powerful artifacts and take over the world.
- Dark Lord on Life Support: Hitler was burnt at the Reichstag fire and is a Brain in a Jar.
- Ghostapo: He's obsessed with occult.
- Real Life Writes the Plot: Part of the reason that he's a Brain in a Jar is because Lego, for obvious reasons, does not make Hitler minifigs.
- Stupid Jetpack Hitler: Complete with multiple clones of his own brain.
Others
Sallah
The Jones family's Arabic friend who will always come to their rescue.
- Big Damn Heroes: Want to be rescued? Bet on him! Once inverted though.
Ginny Smith
A US archaeology expert who defected to the Soviets. Can and will backstab everyone.
- Overly Long Name: Her full name is Valentina Irina Ranevskaya Galina Ivana Natalya Iriyushka Anastasia Sonyechka Marinochka Ineslenka Tatyana Hvorostovskaya.
The Allosaurus
A dinosaur that shows up in several themes. It's eventually elected President of the United States.
- Animal Athlete Loophole: Applied to politics. Strictly speaking, the U.S. Constitution doesn't specify that the president must be human.
- Breakout Character: "The Allosaurus" is easily the most popular option in Irregular Webcomics polls when available.
- I'm a Humanitarian: Ate his entire Cabinet at one point.
- Our Presidents Are Different: Difficult to characterize, but "President Dinosaur" isn't on the list to begin with.
- The Unintelligible: "RAAARRRHH!!!"
The Martians
The last three Martians who still plan to conquer Earth, but pretty inept at it.
- Last of His Kind: As they casually reveal to Ishmael at one point, they are the only three Martians remaining.
The Man in Black
The shadowy government operative who denies everything out of natural.
- Extra-Strength Masquerade: He denies that there are aliens when he talks to the Martians. Or worse, says there's no afterlife when he's in one.
Ishmael
An ordinary university student who got himself tangled into the Martian mess quite often.
- Ordinary High-School Student: Well, ordinary college student, but still.
Giuseppe
Owner of a local pizza place where Ishmael works.
- Death by Irony: Narrowly averted. Claimed to be descendant of Allesandro Volta when rewiring his pizzeria. Guess what happens next.
Nigerian Finance Minister
The beleaguered finance minister of Nigeria. Often tries to use e-mail to implore foreigners to help transfer money, with little success.
- 419 Scam: What people think he's doing when he sends them e-mails, despite being entirely sincere. Ironically, he himself falls victim to a guy claiming to be the king of Nigeria, despite Nigeria having been a republic since its independence.
- Beleaguered Bureaucrat: Nobody helps this guy do his job.
- Cassandra Truth: Nobody he sends his e-mails to actually believes that he's not a scammer.
- Sincerity Mode: The heart of all his gags- he's what would happen if those scam e-mails really were from the Nigerian government.
Adventures in the Death Department, located in the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Responsible for most of the comic's Crossover elements, as they appear whenever a character dies. Characters don't often stay dead, due to the organization's incompetence.
- No Indoor Voice: Every death (except Charon) speaks in ALL CAPS when talks to mortals.
- Odd Job Gods: Most of them watch over a very specific (and often very unlikely) aspect of death.
Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs
Probably the main character of Death theme. Has really bad luck on the job. Has been the Death Of Being Sat On By A Giant Frog, Fate Worse Than Death, Death Of Being Stared At Angrily By A Giant Frog, and Death Of Being Run Through The Spleen With A Toothpick.
- Butt-Monkey: Gets who get job shuffling the most?
- Reassignment Backfire: He could lead the Deaths' Strike without being drawn to do his job because at that point, he had been demoted to Fate Worse Than Death, and as such was no longer a Death. The Head Death ends up breaking the strike by rehiring him as Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs.
- Sinister Scythe: He uses one, made by cutting one blade off a lego pickax.
Death of Choking On A Giant Frog
Fireballs's competitor, since he wanted to be Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs, but otherwise friendly to each other. Apparently he originally died when an aide of his shoved a giant frog down his throat.
- Those Wacky Nazis: He is heavily implied to have been Hitler in life. The comic's revival reveals this to have been just that, an implication, when he mentions that in life he was an elf from a fantasy world.
Head Death
The boss. He is in charge of the Deaths' positions, and will demote and promote the lesser Deaths based on their performance. Really hates the Paradox Department.
- Bad Boss: He seems to go out of his way to screw over Fireballs.
- Purple Is Powerful: He wears a purple cloak.
Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve
The Death responsible for collecting people who've been wrestled to death by Steve. Wears a cowboy hat and a green cloak.- Butt-Monkey: He's been killed twice by Steve.
- Death by Irony: He gets wrestled to death by Steve, twice.
Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals
The Death responsible for collecting people who died by mercury inhalation. He doesn't get much work nowadays, although he gets to collect the Mythbusters (they get sent back, however). He speaks in a cockney accent, and wears a top hat because "the class system's dead".- Wild Mass Guessing: Is Lewis Carroll from Scientific Revolution. Maybe.
- Yank the Dog's Chain: He finally gets to collect the Mythbusters, but they get sent back to the land of the living.
Charon
The Ferryman of the Underworld, but there is no indication of how does he fit into the organization.
- Public Domain Character: From Greek mythology.
Themes which debuted afterward
James Stud (0x0a)
- Casanova Wannabe: Unlike Bond, he really fails with women.
Marcus
A Roman senator.
- Consummate Liar: He pinpoints this as the number one skill needed to be a senator.
Julius
An aspiring Roman senator. Cousin to one Gaius Julius.