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This comic has lots of characters... But don't worry! There are a number of distinct "themes", so most of the characters are restricted to just one theme... Most of the time...


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Themes which debuted in the comic's first year (2003)

    Me 

David Morgan-Mar

The creator of the comic himself has his own theme, usually revolving around working on the comic, his everyday life, and later, being on the run from Death.


  • Author Avatar: He is David Morgan-Mar, though the comic transcripts always refer to him as "Me" even when this makes no grammatical sense.
  • Game Master: Early-Installment Weirdness featured him as the Game Master of every theme. This quickly faded away from every theme except Fantasy and Space, and eventually them as well.
  • Grandfather Paradox: Once went back in time to murder his past self, resulting in a Reality-Breaking Paradox when he later refused to do so.
  • Medium Blending: The "Me" theme is told through photographs of David himself, rather than the standard photographs of LEGO figures used through most of the themes.

    Fantasy 

An RPG campaign that is a big spoof on The Lord of the Rings and Dungeons & Dragons. The game system used for the campaign is intentionally inconsistent. One of two themes in the comic told primarily through gaming miniatures rather than LEGO figures.

Lambert

The group's merchant. Highly protective of his money.
  • Big Eater: While hobbits count "second breakfast" among their multiple daily meals, Lambert also indulges in second supper.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: He's the originator of the hobbit puns that show up every hundred strips or so.

Alvissa

The group's elf and bard. Also the Only Sane Man of the group.
  • All There in the Manual: The fact that she's a bard went entirely unmentioned in the original run of the comic; in strip #4298, 17 years into the comic, Mordekai is surprised to learn she's not a cleric.

Mordekai

The group's thief. But never call him that.


Kyros

The group's wizard. A pyromaniac wizard that frequently kills off his teammates.


  • The Friend Nobody Likes: To the point that none of his companions mourned him when he got pulled into the abyss by a Balrog.
  • Kill It with Fire: His usual response to problems is to apply fireballs until they are no longer problems.
  • Last of His Kind: His character biography mentions he's the last survivor of an unknown civilization.
  • Pyromaniac: Fire magic is basically the only kind of magic he knows, but he's damn good at it and loves to use it.
  • When All You Have Is a Hammer…: How did he kill a Balrog? More fire!

Draak

A lizardman hired by Lambert to help with the group (and protect his money from Mordekai).


  • Badass Bookworm: He's the smartest guy in the group.
  • Eloquent in My Native Tongue: He can speak only in monosyllables in English, but, in his native tongue, he speaks very eloquently.
  • Genius Bruiser: He's a great big lizard man who's highly intelligent.
  • Hulk Speak: He speaks in this sort of simplistic grammar, plus never uses any word that has more than one syllable.
  • Race-Name Basis: Due to the rule of writing his dialogue (that he only speaks in monosyllables), he cannot pronounce the names of any of his teammates. Therefore, Alvissa is "elf", Dwalin is "dwarf", Kyros is "mage", and Mordekai is "rogue". Lambert, however, he calls Bert.
  • Smarter Than You Look: His brutish appearance and limited grasp of English belie a deep understanding of scientific concepts.

Dwalin

Your old stereotypical dwarf with Scottish accent. Got persuaded to join the group by Kyros.


  • Our Dwarves Are All the Same: Unashamedly, he is an axe-wielding, alcohol-drinking, thick-bearded Scotsman who lives in an underground kingdom and has a grudge against elves.
  • Sixth Ranger: He debuts and joins the party much later in the story than the other five.

    Steve and Terry 

A spoof of The Crocodile Hunter.

Steve

A herpetologist who loves getting up close and personal to dangerous reptiles—and then wrestling them! Has wrestled crocodiles, snakes, a shark, and Cthulhu.


Terry

Steve's wife and voice of reason.


  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: As with Steve, the author denies any connection between her and Terri Irwin; notably, they spell their first names differently.

Cthulhu

"Mighty Cthulhu is one of the Great Old Ones, an Elder God who lies in eternal deathless sleep in the sunken nightmare city of R'lyeh. Even being aware of his very existence is enough to push strong men to the brink of insanity. Not that that would ever stop Steve."-Irregular webcomics character description


  • Mix-and-Match Critter: How the author made his LEGO Cthulhu: his body is a theropod dinosaur, its head replaced with a giant octopus, and his "wings" are made of the sails on the backs of other LEGO dinosaurs.
  • Revenge: He wants revenge against Steve for killing him several times.

Charity Collector Guy

"Hi, I'm campaigning for greater community awareness of trigonometry."

A guy who regularly volunteers to collect money for a variety of unusual charitable organizations. Even volunteers as a subsitute Death briefly. Also an expert in origami and astrophysics.


  • Almighty Janitor: His aforementioned unusual combination of expertises make him very helpful in one of the latest attempts to reboot history.
  • Incredibly Lame Pun: A lot of his appearances have this as the punch line.

Jane Goodall

A cryptozoologist turned primate researcher and reluctant ally to Steve. She's in touch with the Yeti.


  • Deadpan Snarker: Very often. Especially when confronted by Steve.
  • Knight in Sour Armor: She protects the world from paranormal threats and grumbles about it the whole time.
  • No Celebrities Were Harmed: Averted; unlike Steve and Terry, there's no Implausible Deniability that she's based on the real Jane Goodall. One strip sees Morgan-Mar receiving a (fake) phone call from Goodall criticizing the comic, while in another, an opportunity he had to meet her for real produced a strip in which she recognizes and slaps him.
  • Prim and Proper Bun: Made from a blob of blu-tack.

    Space 
A sci-fi theme; the campaign-themed Early-Installment Weirdness of the comic presented it as a campaign featuring the same four players as the Fantasy theme. A story about a group of interstellar merchants on the Legacy. Even more so than the Fantasy theme, most of the story is told via gaming miniatures, although LEGO figures pop up occasionally, especially when the heroes are trapped in cyberspace.

Serron

A sparrial, a cat-like alien, and the one who does most of the actual 'merchanting' on the ship. He's very greedy and has a penchant for bad ideas. Has the same player as Kyros.


  • Cat Folk: He is a sparrial, an alien resembling a humanoid feline.

Paris

The ship's pilot. Was dead for a while. Has the same player as Alvissa.


  • Death is Cheap: Constantly subverted. She could come back via cloning, but her crewmates keep accidentally screwing up her chances. She eventually comes back as a ghost, and then is brought back to life when the universe is destroyed and then recreated.
  • Gender-Blender Name: In the campaign the Space theme was based on, Paris's player intended her to be male (and named after Paris of Troy), but everyone else assumed her to be female, and the player went with it.
  • Mistaken for Undead: Inverted; she is a ghost but, due to the sci-fi setting, often mistaken for a holographic projection. Her character bio even expresses annoyance at the fanbase for having themselves made this mistake during the story arc in which the ship's power went out.
  • Our Ghosts Are Different: As a ghost, she was partially transparent, insubstantial, and glowed in the dark. She could interface with the ship's controls to pilot it.
  • Token Human: She's the only human in the otherwise alien crew of the Legacy.

Iki Piki

The ship's scientist and diplomat, a fungoid alien called a pachekki. Has the same player as Mordekai.


  • Bizarre Alien Biology: His species' reproduction involves budding and spores. And the GURPS species he's based on is even weirder. It involves gender-bending every few days.

Spanners

The Legacy's engineer, a mantis-like alien of unknown origin. Has the same player as Lambert.


Quercus

A tree alien that Spanners has hired as his assistant.


  • Meaningful Name: Quercus is the genus containing the various species of oak tree.
  • Plant Aliens: He belongs to a species of tree beings from the planet Fagalia that apparently reproduces the regular plant way, through flowers and seeds.

    Cliffhangers 

This theme is mainly a spoof of Indiana Jones.

The Jones family

Montana "Monty" Jones

The main character of this theme. An Archaeology professor who constantly needs to fight against the Nazis to take control of powerful artifacts that the Nazis will use to conquer the world. Hates wurst.


Prof. North Dakota Jones

Monty's father. Obsessed with the Holy Grail.

Minnesota Jones

North Dakota's father, thus Monty's grandfather. Was presumably lost after he went on dinosaur chasing.
  • Overly Long Name: His title? The Honourable Herr Schliemannian Chair Professor Doktor Doktor Jones, CBE, DCM, JP, FRS

The Nazis

  • Mad Libs Catch Phrase: Nazi science sneers at [thing to be sneered at]! Sometimes the science part is changed too.

Colonel Haken

Monty's archnemesis. Hitler-brain-in-a-jar's primary lackey when it comes to gathering powerful artifacts.


Erwin

Haken's main lackey. Is not really as committed to the Nazi principle as others, thus is a bit more reasonable.

Hitler's Brain

Hitler's Brain in a Jar. Need I say more? Anyway, he died in the Reichstag fire and his brain was put on life support by Adam Savage to win a bet with Death. Plans to take control of powerful artifacts and take over the world.


Others

Sallah

The Jones family's Arabic friend who will always come to their rescue.


Ginny Smith

A US archaeology expert who defected to the Soviets. Can and will backstab everyone.


  • Overly Long Name: Her full name is Valentina Irina Ranevskaya Galina Ivana Natalya Iriyushka Anastasia Sonyechka Marinochka Ineslenka Tatyana Hvorostovskaya.

    Miscellaneous 
For strips that don't fit into any of the existing themes; most commonly, those featuring the Allosaurus outside the context of him menacing the heroes of any theme in particular. References to the Allosaurus's presidency are the best indication that most of the themes take place in a single universe: Me, Steve and Terry, Mythbusters, Martians, Nigerian Finance Minister, Shakespeare, and Mythbusters all being set in modern times, while Cliffhangers, Pirates, Imperial Rome, and Scientific Revolution are set in that world's past.

The Allosaurus

A dinosaur that shows up in several themes. It's eventually elected President of the United States.


    Star Wars 
A spin-off of the Space theme, this theme features various tiny vignettes set in the Star Wars universe.

    Supers 
The rarest theme, due to featuring actual comic-book art rather than photographs of David Morgan-Mar's various toys. This story tells of the League of Good Guys, four ridiculously-themed superheroes, and their battle against the Axis of Antagonists, a quartet of slightly-less-ridiculous supervillains.

    Martians 
A story of The War of the Worlds-style Martians and their attempts to conquer Earth with the help of college student Ishmael Herman.

The Martians

The last three Martians who still plan to conquer Earth, but pretty inept at it.


  • Last of His Kind: As they casually reveal to Ishmael at one point, they are the only three Martians remaining.

The Man in Black

The shadowy government operative who denies everything out of natural.


  • Extra-Strength Masquerade: He denies that there are aliens when he talks to the Martians. Or worse, says there's no afterlife when he's in one.

Ishmael

An ordinary university student who got himself tangled into the Martian mess quite often.


Giuseppe

Owner of a local pizza place where Ishmael works.


  • Death by Irony: Narrowly averted. Claimed to be descendant of Allesandro Volta when rewiring his pizzeria. Guess what happens next.

    Pirates 
A tale of 16th-century pirates in the Caribbean. In addition to lifting some plots directly from Pirates of the Caribbean, Talk Like a Pirate is a strong theme in the story as well.

    Harry Potter 
Like the Star Wars theme, small vignettes set in the Harry Potter universe. Once the Shakespeare theme debuted, this theme was generally relegated to being the subject of Will's fanfiction.

    Nigerian Finance Minister 
A spoof on the 419 Scam, focusing on the actual guy in charge of the Nigerian treasury, with legitimate requests that never work out because they look almost exactly like the classic scam.

Nigerian Finance Minister

The beleaguered finance minister of Nigeria. Often tries to use e-mail to implore foreigners to help transfer money, with little success.


  • 419 Scam: What people think he's doing when he sends them e-mails, despite being entirely sincere. Ironically, he himself falls victim to a guy claiming to be the king of Nigeria, despite Nigeria having been a republic since its independence.
  • Beleaguered Bureaucrat: Nobody helps this guy do his job.
  • Cassandra Truth: Nobody he sends his e-mails to actually believes that he's not a scammer.
  • Sincerity Mode: The heart of all his gags- he's what would happen if those scam e-mails really were from the Nigerian government.

    Death 

Adventures in the Death Department, located in the Infinite Featureless Plane of Death. Responsible for most of the comic's Crossover elements, as they appear whenever a character dies. Characters don't often stay dead, due to the organization's incompetence.


  • No Indoor Voice: Every death (except Charon) speaks in ALL CAPS when talks to mortals.
  • Odd Job Gods: Most of them watch over a very specific (and often very unlikely) aspect of death.

Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs

Probably the main character of Death theme. Has really bad luck on the job. Has been the Death Of Being Sat On By A Giant Frog, Fate Worse Than Death, Death Of Being Stared At Angrily By A Giant Frog, and Death Of Being Run Through The Spleen With A Toothpick.


  • Reassignment Backfire: He could lead the Deaths' Strike without being drawn to do his job because at that point, he had been demoted to Fate Worse Than Death, and as such was no longer a Death. The Head Death ends up breaking the strike by rehiring him as Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs.
  • Sinister Scythe: He uses one, made by cutting one blade off a lego pickax.

Death of Choking On A Giant Frog

Fireballs's competitor, since he wanted to be Death of Insanely Overpowered Fireballs, but otherwise friendly to each other. Apparently he originally died when an aide of his shoved a giant frog down his throat.


  • Those Wacky Nazis: He is heavily implied to have been Hitler in life. The comic's revival reveals this to have been just that, an implication, when he mentions that in life he was an elf from a fantasy world.

Head Death

The boss. He is in charge of the Deaths' positions, and will demote and promote the lesser Deaths based on their performance. Really hates the Paradox Department.


  • Bad Boss: He seems to go out of his way to screw over Fireballs.

Death of Being Wrestled To Death By Steve

The Death responsible for collecting people who've been wrestled to death by Steve. Wears a cowboy hat and a green cloak.

Death of Inhaling Hatmaking Chemicals

The Death responsible for collecting people who died by mercury inhalation. He doesn't get much work nowadays, although he gets to collect the Mythbusters (they get sent back, however). He speaks in a cockney accent, and wears a top hat because "the class system's dead".

Charon

The Ferryman of the Underworld, but there is no indication of how does he fit into the organization.


    Shakespeare 
The story of William Shakespeare. Initially presented as a timeline in which he was born precisely 400 years later than he actually was, it eventually came to light that he truly was born in the late 1500s, but before he became anything close to a famous writer, he was caught in a time warp that left him stranded 400 years in his own future. Regardless of how it came to be, Shakespeare now lives in Australia, where he works a Soul-Crushing Desk Job and writes Harry Potter fanfiction.

Themes which debuted afterward

    Espionage 
Debuting in 2004, a spoof on James Bond, reenacting the Bond films in chronological order. Due to the theme's unpopularity — so much so that it was the only theme completely excluded from the 2009 story arc in which the entire multiverse was destroyed — currently only halfway through the second Bond film.

James Stud (0x0a)

    Imperial Rome 
A short-lived theme, debuting in 2005, about life in the Roman Empire.

Marcus

A Roman senator.


  • Consummate Liar: He pinpoints this as the number one skill needed to be a senator.

Julius

An aspiring Roman senator. Cousin to one Gaius Julius.

    Mythbusters 
Also debuting in 2005, the adventures of the MythBusters (but spelled with a lowercase "b"). They have a liking for explosives and very often die in the pursuit of their mythbusting, but keep a running tally of what myths they've confirmed and busted.

    Scientific Revolution 
Debuting in 2008, the Scientific Revolution theme was never very prominent, but its assemblage of the greatest scientific minds in all of history were crucial to the plot of the comic's final story arc before it ended in 2011.

    Annotations 
An assortment of in-depth educational annotations replaced the comic when it was on hiatus from 2011 to 2015.

    Stranger Things 
Premiering in 2019, to date the only theme to debut after the comic's 2015 revival, the Stranger Things theme started out reenacting the first season of the series, but promised to go Off the Rails — and so it has, with the Party now exploring a real-world recreation of the Tomb of Horrors.

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