A list of characters that have appeared within the How It Should Have Ended internet parody series.
Super Café in General
A coffeehouse where superheroes can hang out. Superman and Batman are its regular barflies.
- Early Installment Weirdness: The villains of Tim Burton's and Joel Schumacher's Batman films could be seen sitting at the Café, when the Villain Pub didn't exist.
- Good-Guy Bar: All the superheroes come and hang out there after their movie usually at Batman and Superman's table where they talk shop, where their movie was flawed and so on and so forth.
- Heroes Gone Fishing: Superheroes enjoy a break there after their adventures usually.
- No Fourth Wall: They are ageless, they discuss all their different iterarions and reboot and different versions of the characters appear side-by-side with earlier versions.
- Screw the Rules, I Have Money!: Iron Man invokes this as does Batman, and as do the Avengers who "can't hear you through all our box-office money!".
- Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: Occassionally invoked by Batman and Superman.
- The Café is a public space where anyone can enter but they keep maintaining some kind of arbitrary rules that keep the likes of Super Mario from being considered a superhero and so off their table. Likewise, Green Lantern has never been invited because they didn't like his movie, same reason why Tobey Maguire's Spider-Man, despite hanging out the Café for three years, is kept out but Andrew Garfield-Spider-Man gets an instant-invite.
- Supes and Bats also chuck out Deadpool because he's too foul-mouthed and murderous to be considered a hero, that and Deadpool fires a gun indoors which Supes catches in his palm. Deadpool decides he's too cool for both of them.
- Oddly enough, Magneto is permitted at the Café so far, even though he's guilty of mass murder and is one of the main Big Bads of the X-Men films.
- On the other hand, they actually allows completely unpowered Muggles like Dora Skirth to enter the Café if they had accomplished some exceptional heroic deeds (In her case, calling out directly to the police on Life Foundation's crimes).
- Those Two Guys: Any time we see the Café, it's always the same two-shot of Batman and Superman across the café table. They even appear this way in the Pulp Fiction parody, where it turns out to be the same café Pumpkin and Honey Bunny try to rob at the start of the film. Lampshaded in the Into the Spider-Verse HISHE:Miles: Is that Batman and Superman?
Peter B. Parker: [stage whisper] Yeah, they just sit here all the time and pass judgment on other people's work. It's kinda sad but it's all they've got, so just go along with it. [loud voice] Hey fellas!
Marvel's legendary comic book creator.
- Adam Westing: Stan Lee himself voicing an animated parody of his own movie cameos in How The Amazing Spider-Man Should Have Ended.
- Art Evolution: Due to the show's art style having evolved between 2007 and 2012.
- The Cameo: He appears in the Spider-Man-related episodes.
- The man himself voiced his cameo in How The Amazing Spider-Man Should Have Ended!
- Grumpy Old Man: He is quite grumpy in both of his appearances. The first time is explained in Surrounded by Idiots below. The second time he thinks the Avengers destroyed his library (it was due to the fight between Spider-Man and the Lizard actually) and berates them like a dad would with his kids. Then he complains about Gwen Stacy foreshadowing her death in How The Amazing Spider-Man 2 Should Have EndedGwen Stacy: Some day, we are all going to die. Especially your girlfriends.
Stan Lee: Geez, talk about spoiler alert...
- Parody Assistance: The man himself helped HISHE's team to parody his own cameos.
- Surrounded by Idiots: In How Spider-Man 3 Should Have Ended, as Gwen is about to fall.Captain George Stacy: What's she doing up there?
Stan Lee: She's trying not to fall to her death, you idiot! Why don't you show a little concern? What is it with fathers being completely brainless in this picture?
- Hand Wave: He does one when discussing with Superman and Batman at the Café.Superman: You save planets?
Doctor: All the time, yes.
Superman: My planet exploded, so what's the deal?
Doctor: Ah yes, Krypton. Sorry about that, fixed point in time, I couldn't interfere. Very difficult to explain.
The video game hero who thinks he is a superhero.
- Borrowed Catchphrase: A Catchphrase duel erupts between him and Batman.Batman: I'm Batman!
Mario: I'ma Mario!
Batman: I'm Batman!
Mario: I'ma Mario!
- The Team Wannabe: In the Super Café: Bros Before Marios, he sits at Batman's and Superman's table, pretending to be a superhero just like them. Batman and Superman then go to great lengths explaining him why he is NOT a superhero, but he doesn't want to accept the truth. The Avengers then arrive and tell him to get out of the Café as he's occupying their seat.
- Adaptational Early Appearance: He's yet to appear in person in the Marvel Cinematic Universe, but in the HISHE continuity, he's already active.
- Adaptation Name Change: He's a renamed Adam Warlock.
- Animated Actors: In "Justice League HISHE- The Martha Origin Story," where he's seen in a recording booth.
- Audience Surrogate: Word of God is that he represents an angry, over-the-top DC fanboy.
- Badass Boast: After declaring himself to be a more powerful than Darkseid, Martha gives us:
- Brought to You by the Letter "S": His outfit has a giant "M" emblazoned on his chest. Humorously, next to the "M" is a name tag reading "artha," effectively spelling out "Martha."
- Dimensional Traveler: Hails from the Marvel Cinematic Universe and crossed dimensions to the DC Universe.
- Evil Is Hammy: James is really having fun with this role.
- Fluffy the Terrible: An all-powerful Sovereign meant to be the bane of the Super Cafe is named... Martha?
- Gender-Blender Name: "Martha" may be a female name, but it's attached to a male body.
- Knight of Cerebus: His appearance incites the destruction of the Super Café.
- Meaningful Background Event: He shows up at various points in Super Café segments outside and within crowds.
- Moment Killer: He interrupted Diana and Hal's Ship Tease after the latter swoops in and joins the Justice League.Wonder Woman: Can I call you Steve?
Green Lantern: As you wish.
[Wonder Woman and Green Lantern move closer to each other, about to kiss]
Martha: Excuse me! You're too late! You're all too late!
- Neck Snap: Just like General Zod, he's finished off by one.
- Never Live It Down: Invoked. He's the personification of this for the DC Extended Universe, if you couldn't tell by his name.
- Overly Long Gag: The "Martha" thing really stuck with HISHE's makers.
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: He gives one to the Justice League, criticizing their film and berating them for not doing proper Worldbuilding.Batman: Why the Café?! It was loved by millions!
Martha: It WAS! And you allowed it to be ruined! You thought your mere presence was all it took! MWAHAHAHA! I will destroy it all! If you refuse to world-build, then you don't deserve a world at all!
Villain Pub in General
A pub where villains can hang out. The Joker, Loki and Voldemort are its regular patrons.
- Bad-Guy Bar: A pretty cool one as even Loki admits.
- The Cameo: The Pub wall features portraits of famous bad guys like Norman Bates, Alex de Large and others. Background characters include Hannibal Lecter, the Alien, the Predator and others.
- Celebrity Paradox: Played for Laughs. The Pub is frequented by different incarnations of a villain at the same time or villains who also share the same actor.
- Smaug and Khan appear in the same room talking about Villain Fashion.
- Hannibal Lecter casually mentions that he always liked Odin.
- When the other villains note that they liked The Joker when he sounded like Luke Skywalker, and that he still sounds that way sometimes, Palpatine murmurs that maybe that's the reason why he doesn't always like Joker very much. Zod and Voldemort later say that his Suicide Squad look makes him look like a psychotic version of Jordan from My So-Called Life (who was also played by Jared Leto).
- Curb-Stomp Battle: Batman easily defeats the biggest bunch of the Pub's villainous customers in "The Boss Battle".
- Defictionalization: A later video confirmed that a real-life Villain Pub (albeit, sadly (or gladly) without actual villains) was opened up.
- Dress Code: The Pub has a strict policy about this. One episode talks about Villain-Fashion. When Joker arrives in his Suicide Squad look, Palpatine refuses to serve him without a shirt on.
- Even Evil Has Standards:
- To be a member of the Villain Pub, you have to be evil. That's why Deadpool doesn't qualify, since, even if he is a violent psychopath, by villain standards he's not quite evil enough to enter the Pub.
- There are also standards for brawling in the Villain Pub. Specifically, a "Boss Battles Only" rule that got the Alien and Predator booted out of the place.
- Voldemort complains that zombies, being mindless, shouldn't rate as "villains", so objects to Palpatine's holding "Zombie Night" specials.
- Saving the World will apparently get you kicked out of the Pub no matter how villainous you were before, as the original Suicide Squad finds out.
- Lex Luthor isn't allowed inside because they don't consider him to be a good villain.
- Villains that pulled a HeelFace Turn also not allowed of the Villain Pub as evidence with Variant Loki Variant L1130 within the Into The Loki-verse episode.
- They also have mixed feelings towards The Multiverse as Khan claims that the multiverse coming to the MCU is "a headache about to turn into a migraine" while General Zod doesn't want to see variants of himself that doesn't have his neck snapped by Superman.
- Evil Counterpart: The bar is introduced in "How Thor: The Dark World Should Have Ended", with Zod and The Joker talking to Loki, in contrast to what Superman and Batman always do with the other heroes at the Super Café. After that, Voldemort and Loki become the main villains, while Zod gets Demoted to Extra.
- Equal-Opportunity Evil: Whereas Batman and Superman are quite insistent that only superheroes can sit on their table in the cafe (which is why Mario is not allowed), the Villain Pub is open to villains of all genres.
- Foil: To the Super-Hero Cafe obviously. They both have a similar function of a place where heroes and villains respectively can hang out and talk shop. They also have different standards of exclusivity. The Super-Cafe is a public place open to all but only superheroes and those Batman and Superman like can sit on their table. The Villain Pub is open to all villains, comic-book, sci-fi, fantasy and regular bad guys.
- No Body Left Behind: The Infinity War HISHE ends with Thor accidentally killing almost all of its patrons, with all of them disintegrating.
- Oh, Crap!: While all the villains are celebrating Ultron's victory, they soon realize that his meteor is about to kill them all in a few seconds.
- Shark Pool: The Pub's underwater cellar, which Palpatine names "the Wine Cellar of Doom", has a pool specially built to feed the Jaws shark and a porthole to see him swim around.
- Shout-Out: The Pub's theme tune echoes that of Cheers.
- Theme Tune: Here.
- Villains Out Shopping: The Pub features villains drinking and talking to each other instead of doing their usual evil activities.
The Istari who wanders Middle Earth and helps its people in times of great danger.
- A Simple Plan: It's wise of him to destroy the One Ring as soon as Bilbo finds it... until it becomes impossible for the Company to deal with Smaug because of this.
- Catchphrase: "I have an idea!".
- The Cameo:
- He appears in the Harry Potter HISHE as the new teacher of Defence against the Dark Arts.
- In X-Men Apocalypse HISHE wearing Magneto's helmet and riding a Great Eagle to save Michael Fassbender's Magneto's family from the Polish policemen.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In the The Hobbit: An Unexpected Journey episode.Gandalf: I'm looking for someone to share in an adventure.
Gandalf: Yes. A 48 frames per second 3D adventure.
- Punctuated! For! Emphasis!: To Radagast.Gandalf: YOU! HAVE! BIRD POOP!
Radagast: Why didn't anybody say anything?! So embarrassing...
- Running Gag: He always calls the Great Eagles for help. Even in one of his cameos (X-Men Apocalypse, more specifically).
The Lady of Lórien.
Smeagol / Gollum
The hobbit whose mind and body were disfigured by his obsession for the One Ring.
A species of vicious and cunning killer dinosaurs, who might be even more intelligent than we think.
- Art Evolution: Blue gets her stripe in the proper Jurassic World episode.
- Catchphrase: "Suckers!"
- Evil Is Not a Toy: Nice Job Owen. Do you really think it's a good idea to teach them to jump through hoops when all they want is to eat you?
- Guns Akimbo: With shotguns and assault rifles, of all things.
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall: In the Jurassic World - Raptor Training? short.
- Running Gag: Saying "Suckers!" to the humans while dual-wielding guns.
- Talking Animals: In How Jurassic Park Should Have Ended, the film's protagonists find out the raptors' intelligence evolves so rapidly that they can even use firearms and learn to talk. They continue to talk in How Jurassic World Should Have Ended.
Jurassic World's incontrollable new attraction.
- Affably Evil: He makes some friendly banter to Zach and Grey and then eats them, he also quickly strikes up a friendship with Rexy.
- Art Evolution: In its Early-Bird Cameo in Raptor Training, the I-Rex a white reskin of the Tyrannosaur, since there hadn't been that many clear images of him released at that point to take reference of when HISHE designed him. In Jurassic World he now has the proper design of his film counterpart.
- Catchphrase: "Aw, nuts!" (whenever its escape attempts fail).
- Enemy Rising Behind: It appears right behind Gray and Zach Mitchell as they try to start the old Jurassic Park jeep's engine. It tells them that they will need more than just a new battery, then drags the car away to eat them.
- Failure Is the Only Option: Thanks to Jurassic World's staff being considerably more careful than in the actual film, its attempts to break out of his enclosure repeatedly fail.
- Gender Flip: All dinosaurs bred for the parks are female, and here, Indominus is portrayed as male and voiced by Jon Bailey, aka the "Epic Voice Guy" from Honest Trailers.
- The Only One Allowed to Defeat You: Declares that it's the only one allowed to eat Chris Pratt in Raptor Training.I. rex: No one eats the Pratt-Pratt... except me!
- Talking Animal: Just like the raptors and t-rex, it can talk.
Rexy the Tyrannosaurus rex
Jurassic Park/Jurassic World's old mascot.
- Bash Brothers: Discovers it can talk with the Indominus-rex, and teams up with it to eat Owen, Claire, the kids and presumably more people afterwards.
- Gender Flip: Rexy is a female in the films. It has a male voice in Jurassic World Alternate HISHE.
- Talking Animal: Just like the raptors and I-rex, it can talk.
- Use Your Head: Advises the Indominus to use its head to break the windows to reach Owen, Claire and the kids, and proceeds to do so.
Jurassic World's sea monster.
- Gender Flip: Like Rexy, the Mosasaurus is a female in the films and has a male voice in Jurassic World Alternate HISHE.
- I Just Want to Have Friends: Invites the Indominus rex and Tyrannosaurus rex to swim in its lagoon, seemingly out of loneliness. Unless it's just so it can eat them.
- Talking Animal: Just like the other HISHE versions of Jurassic Park/World's creatures, it can talk.
Jurassic World's main behavioral researcher, and a raptors tamer.
- Breaking the Fourth Wall: In the Jurassic World - Raptor Training? short.Raptor: But I REALLY want to eat your face...
Owen: Ha ha, well, I'm popular now, so that's understandable.
- Characterization Marches On: In Raptor Training he's very upbeat and friendly akin to Star-Lord, but in the proper Jurassic World episode, thanks to the movie having come out, he's more dour and solemn like his film counterpart's characterization.
- Dirty Coward: When Mills and Wheatley lock him and Claire in a cell to be eaten alive by the Indoraptor, he tells said raptor to eat Claire instead of him, and quickly runs away.
- Hyper-Awareness: The character has plenty of it in the actual movie already, but HISHE gives him extra savviness.Claire: OK! She's still in there, we just can't see her for some reason...
Owen: Sounds like camouflage.
I-Rex: Aw nuts...
- Kill Him Already!: As the Indominus Rex starts communicating with the raptors.Barry: Something's wrong, they're communicating...
Owen: Who cares?! Just shoot her! [they open fire] SHOOT HER!
- Took a Level in Cynic: Thanks to Characterization Marches On, as seen above, he comes more into line with his film characterization by Jurassic World.
The park manager of Jurassic World.
- Adaptational Alternate Ending: While she's being chased by Rexy, one of her high heels breaks and she trips on the ground as a result... Rexy then feasts on her.
- Combat Stilettos: HISHE addresses the cons of running in high heels when chased by a T-rex... and she's on the gruesome receiving end of it.Owen: I told her those shoes were ridiculous!
- Didn't Think This Through: In Jurassic World Alternate HISHE, she manages to bring in Rexy as reinforcement against the Indominus (without high heels fail this time around). It sounds like a great idea at first... until Owen points out the Indominus has T-rex DNA as well, and thus both dinosaurs can talk to each other...
Professor Severus Snape
The Potions Master of Hogwarts.
- Captain Obvious:Harry: Professor Snape, you're alive!
Snape: Of course I'm alive, you twit.
Harry: But... how? You died right in front of us!
Snape: Magic, duh!
- Combat Pragmatist: Uses a gun to shoot Voldemort in the head.Snape: [disdainfully] Ah, Muggle weapons...
- Crazy-Prepared:Snape: I'm a Potions Master and a double agent. Obviously I had a backup plan!
- Leaning on the Fourth Wall:Snape: I mean it's a really long story! Like so long if we rode it down it would take at least seven books!
Dumbledore: Or eight movies.
- Set Right What Once Went Wrong: Uses the Time-Turner to go back in time when Dumbledore met Tom Marvolo Riddle at Wool's Orphanage, and kills the latter long before he can become the Dark Lord.
- Genre Blind: All of them, but especially Cato.
- The Mole: It's pretty obvious that Peeta is sabotaging them from the inside. None of them is able to notice.
- Mook Horror Show: When they have to face Slender Man in the Slender Games, they are completely out of their league.
- Only Sane Man: Downplayed with Marvel and Glimmer. Contrary to the way they're sometimes portrayed in Fanon, they are here more intelligent and competent than their companions from District 2, and often state the simple solution. However, they are quick to accept Cato's genre-blind refusals.Marvel: Should we try to chop the tree down? We have axes, swords and stuff... We can probably chop it down.
- Too Dumb to Live: They decide to take a nap, even after seeing a tracker-jacker nest near Katniss.
- Adaptational Intelligence: He's one of the scientists inadvertently responsible for the creation of Sandman in Spider-Man 3, but here he has enough sense to stop and scold his fellow scientist into checking out what changed the silicon mass.
- Breakout Character: From a one-off gag to a fixture in HISHE's content, most often media related to Spider-Man.
- The Bus Came Back: He was only ever in the HISHE for Spider-Man 3, but Official Fan-Submitted Content brought him back as fun Call Backs. HISHE has since then been using him to jokingly point out idiocy in the movies they cover.
- Catchphrase: "Here's a bright idea..."
- Dirty Coward: During the segment in the Spider-Man 2 episode, where Spider-Man's unable to stop the runaway train from crashing, he begins to say his usual catchphrase... right before putting on a jetpack and shouting "every man for himself", and flies away leaving all the passengers on the train to crash, and possibly die.
- Genre Savvy: He's aware enough of the superhero movie genre to know the incoming consequences of some of the dumb choices made by characters, mostly the creation of supervillains due to No OSHA Compliance.
- For Want of a Nail: He's the Nail that convinces people to change their minds about certain decisions that often lead to major catastrophes or supervillain origins.
- Only Sane Man: While people decide to go through with science experiments without checking out the sudden change in variable, people decide to get off work without shutting down or closing sensitive equipment, or almost give technologically advanced sunglasses with access to military-grade weaponry to a hormonal teenager, he's the only one to know all of these are insanely incompetent things to do.
- Phrase Catcher: His suggestions are usually followed by a "Ugh, fine!"
- Smart Ball: A living one whose presence always results in the prevention of a lot of the films' problems.
- Subverted Catchphrase: The only time he doesn't follow his Catchphrase up with any advice that could fix the situation is in the Spider-Man 2 HISHE, where he instead abandons the runaway train using his jetpack.