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Sandford Police

    Nicholas Angel 

Sgt. Nicholas Angel

Played By: Simon Pegg

"I don't remember a time when I didn't want to be a police officer. Apart from the summer of 1979 when I wanted to be Kermit the Frog."

A dedicated but humourless member of the Metropolitan Police Service sent to the small village of Sandford for making his colleagues look bad by comparison.

  • The Ace: Highly competent, good shot, expert fencer and physically fit. Deconstructed. He's so effective that he's sent to Sandford, and eventually learns not to take himself quite so seriously.
  • Action Hero: Complete with flying through the air whilst firing his gun.
  • Actually Pretty Funny: Ends up bursting out laughing when Danny pretends to stab himself in the eye. And before that, when Danny states he'd make a good Muppet.
  • Animal Motif: Subtle, Nicholas is associated with swans. Nicolas stays at The Swan Hotel and one of his missions involves capturing a swan. Symbolism-wise, a pair of swans are known to be partners for life and the relationship between Nicholas and Danny are on par with a married couple, with their actors comparing it to a gay relationship. It can also be compared to the ugly duckling, a story about an outcast that grows to be a beautiful swan, like how Nicholas starts the movie as an outcast who takes his job too seriously.
  • Awesome McCoolname: The best part is, it isn't even a fake name. He's named for a real life Nick Angel, who was the head of sound design for the film. (As such, there's a bit of Insistent Terminology in play—the character is always referred to as Nicholas and never Nick, partly to keep up the "serious Ace" characterization but mostly to not step on the sound guy's toes.)
  • Broken Ace: An excellent cop but a socially inept man. This varies from the genuinely emotional (his breakup with Janine) to the comically overblown (the entire Met is glad to see him go).
  • By-the-Book Cop: In this own words:
    I had to prove to myself that the law could be proper and righteous and for the good of humankind. It was from that moment that I was destined to be a police officer.
  • The Comically Serious: He's generally rather uptight, stoic and even-toned. This makes his more deadpan comments and lapses in his demeanour all the more funny.
  • Contrasting Sequel Main Character: In-context to the "Blood and Ice Cream Trilogy". Whereas Shaun from Shaun of the Dead is a Loser Protagonist Manchild with Commitment Issues who learns to be more self-reliant in his Coming-of-Age Story, Nicolas is a Born Winner Super Cop that is Married to the Job who learns to rely on others and develops a circle of friends in the process.
  • Cool Horse: Ends up on one during the finale.
  • Cool Shades: Which he picks up immediately before his Roaring Rampage of Revenge. Proper '80s aviator sunglasses too, the kind you aren't allowed to wear if you're not going to kick ass and take names.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Comes out as he's being more open, a way to crack joke while maintaining his serious behaviour.
  • Defrosting Ice King: Danny takes it upon himself to teach him how to 'switch off'.
  • Dented Iron: He has sustained several injuries in the line of duty but the only one explicitly depicted in the film was his suffering a stab wound to the left hand courtesy of a criminal dressed as Father Christmas/Santa Claus. In something of a running gag in the opening scene, his superiors repeatedly ask him “how’s the hand?” to which he responds “still a bit stiff.”
  • Disappointed by the Motive: He initially thought the murders were a part of a grand money-making scheme that allowed Simon Skinner to expand his business. The only part he got right was that Simon Skinner was involved in the crimes, he was part of the Neighborhood Watch who decided to punish all crimes with the death penalty. They did this because Sandford lost the Village of the Year contest 20 years ago and Frank Butterman's wife killed herself afterwards. Nicholas, who has seen everything in London, is completely baffled by this excuse and horrified by their petty ruthlessness.
  • Doesn't Like Guns: Part of what makes him a good police officer is his desire for a peaceful resolution wherever possible. Doesn't mean he won't break out a shotgun and kick some ass when he needs to.
  • Experienced Protagonist: Has been a police officer for well over a decade by the start of the film. He had the highest arrest record of any officer in the Metropolitan Police Service and even served with the elite SCO 19 unit (analogous to SWAT teams in American police departments). He has even been wounded 3 times in the line of duty, his most recent injury being a stab wound to his left hand.
  • Fair Cop: Look at his arse!
  • Fire-Forged Friends: With the Andes, Wainwright in particular.
  • Hero with Bad Publicity: Most of the villagers believe he is neurotic and insanely obsessed with the murders. Of course, it's just an act: they're all in on the murders to begin with! His actual skills as a police constable are recognized, however.
  • I Just Want to Be Badass: Or as he puts it, good at what he does. Which he is, as Danny points out.
  • Impaled Palm: He was stabbed through the hand by Santa Claus... a Santa Claus played by Peter Jackson.
  • Improbable Aiming Skills: He's not only an excellent shot with most types of firearms, but throws a can across a field and hits a running thief.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: From the beginning, Angel is a very cold, emotionless and stoical man who takes his work very seriously. When he meets Danny, he loosens up a bit and learns how to have fun.
  • Kicked Upstairs: His transfer is coupled with a promotion to Sergeant to disguise it as a reward. His attempts to refuse promotion to stay in London are ignored.
  • Lightning Bruiser: He holds the Met record for the hundred yard dash, and is also an excellent fencer. Both of these come into play.
  • Married to the Job: His main flaw. The crux of his Character Development is learning how to "turn off" and have fun.
  • No Sense of Humour: Angel is pretty cold, and doesn't exactly go along with Sandford's deeply middle-class sense of bad sitcom humour. Downplayed in the sense that it's not that he doesn't have a sense of humour at all, and it's all in the context of having just made major changes in his life.
  • Only Sane Man: Nicholas is initially the sole person in Sandford to be suspicious about recent deaths, and the only one in the police service to pay attention to anything suspicious. Everyone else is in denial, stupid or in on the conspiracy. Eventually, Nicolas succeeds at convincing Danny to follow his lead.
  • Precision F-Strike: After he witnesses a rather sudden massacre by the criminal mastermind.
  • Reassigned to Antarctica: How his story begins.
  • Secular Hero: Nicholas may not be a man of God, but he knows right, and he knows wrong, and he has the good grace to know which is which (sic). (His agnosticism is possibly the only detail in the entire movie that isn't fleshed out, though deleted scenes do reveal that he apparently practices Buddhism.)
  • Straight Man: To Danny in particular, but also to the entire village of Sandford.
  • Surrounded by Idiots: How he feels in Sandford. His colleagues aren't total idiots, though, they've just been mildly brainwashed into complacency by Frank.
    Angel: I chased a suspect from the scene! Innocent people don't run!
    Fisher: Maybe it was our old friend the Cactus Thief?
    Thatcher: Oh yeah, he was a prickly customer, weren't he? [everyone laughs]
  • Tranquil Fury: His default mood during the final showdown.
  • Tall Poppy Syndrome: The reason for his promotion and transfer.
  • Walking Armory: When he returns to Sandford to take on the NWA, he's carrying an FN FAL, two shotguns and two pistols that are visible and probably a few more guns as well, given that he essentially empties the evidence room.


    Danny Butterman 

PC Daniel 'Danny' Butterman

Played By: Nick Frost

"Is it true that there is a place in a man's head that, if you shoot it, it will blow up?"

The son of Inspector Frank Butterman, and Nicholas Angel's new partner in Sandford.

  • Action Hero: Well, he wants to be one because he wants to be like the characters from cop movies. His dream is realized in the finale.
  • Big Brother Worship: While Angel isn't his actual brother, it's clear that Danny looks up to him a lot and pays attention to every lesson Angel tries to teach.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: ...he improves. Once he figures out what's actually going on and what needs to be done, The Ace from the Met couldn't ask for a finer partner.
  • Calling the Old Man Out: He points out to Frank he's gone Knight Templar in his efforts to make Sandford a perfect town, and even calls him out on his claims that he is doing it all for Danny's mother, stating that she "would kill herself all over again" if she had lived to see what he has become.
  • Chekhov's Skill: The ketchup sachet trick.
  • Disney Death: Or so it seems, until it's revealed in the epilogue that he survived.
  • Evil All Along: Subverted. Later on, it's shown he was part of the NWA, only to be revealed he was just acting so he could get his friend out of there, and later helps to defeat them without hesitation.
  • The Ditz: He's a born-and-raised resident of Sandford, so it comes with the territory.
  • I Just Want to Be Badass: See Action Hero.
  • Manchild: Danny is a big kid, basically. He's happy-go-lucky, friendly to everyone and doesn't seem to have a bad bone in his body.
  • Missing Mom: His mother killed herself.
  • Nice Guy: While definitely a tad dim, he's obviously well-meaning.
  • Parrot Exposition: Tends toward this in regards to Angel's lessons—he has a shockingly good memory for it, too!
  • Sweet Tooth: Like his father, he has a fondness for ice cream.
  • Taking the Bullet: For Angel; subverted in that he survives.
  • Took a Level in Badass: ...but with some help from Angel...

    Frank Butterman 

Insp. Frank Butterman

Played By: Jim Broadbent

"Far be it from me to stifle your flair, Sgt. Angel, but this isn't London."

Sandford's jovial police chief and Danny's father.

  • Archnemesis Dad: To Danny towards the end of the film.
  • Big Bad Friend: He has a better shot at being the real Big Bad with Skinner as The Dragon, given his level of authority in the town and how he seems to be wearing a unique uniform at the meeting indicating him to be the leader of the NWA.
  • Cool and Unusual Punishment: Punishes his officers (or at least Danny) for poor behaviour by forcing them to treat the rest of the station to dessert foods (implied to be Danny's least favourites).
  • Cool Old Guy: He might seem like a nebbish, lovable old grandpa but he reveals himself to be a highly competent policeman who earned his top-ranking position.
  • Cowboy Cop: In the sense that he sees the village as his protectorate and himself as the sheriff who has carte blanche to go as far as needed to enforce the law. This is foreshadowed when he references himself as a "wild west nut" at the beginning and wears a sheriff costume at the church fête. At the finale he dual wields a pair of Colt 1851 revolvers.
  • Dirty Cop: In the sense that Lawful has violently usurped Good within him.
  • Evil Counterpart:
    • To Nicholas. Both are dedicated to their jobs and obsessed with maintaining order, however unlike Nicholas, Frank is willing to abuse his authority and kill anyone in order to uphold what he views as "justice".
    • Also is one to Danny. Both are socially naive and somewhat incompetent.... too bad that in Frank's case, Frank's simply pretending to be stupid to hide his evil.
  • A Father to His Men: Until they turn on him.
  • Freudian Excuse Is No Excuse: While what happened to Frank is rather sad (losing his wife), Nicholas and Danny point out to him that it's no excuse to murder innocent people.
  • Knight Templar: Bordering on Tautological Templar. To him, Murder Is the Best Solution to keep Sandford the perfect village.
  • Love Makes You Evil: After his wife Irene commits suicide, Frank loses it and starts the conspiracy that drives the plot, all out of love for Irene.
  • The Man Behind the Man: Skinner is initially suspected as the conspiracy mastermind until Frank's involvement and leadership is revealed.
  • Oh, Crap!: During his botched getaway at the end, his face says it all when he finds out about the swan hidden in the back of Angel's police car.
  • Principles Zealot: After his wife killed herself, Frank swore to maintain peace and stability at any cost. He did this by convincing the N.W.A to join him in killing anyone who threatens the peace.
  • Sanity Slippage: His wife committed suicide and he was left to raise Danny by himself. In his grief, Frank rationalised the event as "If Sandford never lost the competition, then she wouldn't have killed herself" and convinced the Neighbourhood Watch Association to join him in making all "crimes" suffer the death penalty. When Nicolas convinces the police to turn against Frank, he insults them all and tries to kill them.
  • Sweet Tooth: Mentions a fondness for ice cream early on, and can be seen digging in to a bowl when Nick returns to Sandford.
  • To Be Lawful or Good: His wife's suicide drove him to choose a twisted version of lawful above all else.
  • Tragic Villain: Frank used to be a lawful police officer. But after Sandford lost the Village of the Year award 20 years prior, and Frank's wife, who spent so long trying to make the village perfect for the adjudicators, committed suicide, Frank and the NWA have strived to "make Sandford great again", even if it means having to kill anyone who gets in their way.
  • Villainous Breakdown: A minor one when the Sandford police turn on him.
    Frank: You're... You're not seriously going to believe this man, are you!? ARE YOU!? HE ISN'T EVEN FROM 'ROUND 'ERE!! YOU INCOMPETENT FLATFOOTS!!
  • Woobie, Destroyer of Worlds: Everything he did was for his dead wife.

    The Andys 

DC Andy Cartwright & DS Andy Wainwright

"You wanna be a big cop in a small town? Fuck off up the model village."

An inseparable pair of detectives of the Sandford police who take an instant dislike to Angel.

  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: As with the rest of the SPF, they're somehow well-versed in riot gear use and tactics.
  • Bash Brothers: They fight together as a team in the finale.
  • Brilliant, but Lazy: They're utterly indifferent to almost every aspect of their jobs and express annoyance any time they have to do actual work but they do prove to be quite good when pushed to it.
  • Cool Shades: Proper Cop 'Shades, though of a lesser caliber than Angel's.
  • The Dividual: The two of them never appear separately in the film and are collectively referred as "the Andys" by other characters most of the time.
  • Fire-Forged Friends: Both of them with Angel, Wainwright in particular.
  • Heel–Face Turn: Downplayed, since they weren't so much "villains" as apathetic, if annoying bystanders, but they do both become a lot more friendly to Angel after the pub shootout.
  • Heterosexual Life-Partners: With each other, of course.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: They warm up to Angel later.
  • Man Children: They behave more like immature, rowdy high school students than police officers.
  • One Steve Limit: Averted. Both of them are partnered together and share the same first name.
    • Additionally while their last names are different they have the same basic origin. A cartwright makes carts and a wainwright makes wagons.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Andy Wainwright had always been rowdy and immature like Andy Cartwright but when Angel reveals the truth about Frank Butterman and Sandford, and Frank becomes unhinged, his response means that this means business.
    Frank: You're not seriously going to believe this man, ARE YOU!? ARE YOU!?!? HE ISN'T EVEN FROM ROUND HERE!
    DS Wainwright: [takes off his sunglasses] Maybe. It's time to give it up, sir.
  • Pornstache: Andy Wainwright. It's noted in commentary that their characterization is "a couple of boys playing cops", and part of that is the proper Cop Mustache.
  • Those Two Guys: They are always seen together.

    Tony Fisher 

Sgt. Tony Fisher

Played By: Kevin Eldon

"Very good. What he said."

A police officer in the Sandford Police Service. He is first met when PC Nicholas Angel arrives in Sandford and is touring the Sandford Police Station. Throughout most of his appearances, he asks Nicholas for advice on what should be done.

  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Let's make one thing clear—Sgt. Fisher is the last person on the force you'd expect to ever describe as a badass of any sort. Then the final battle happens.
  • Captain Obvious: It's plainly clear that his only talent is explaining things, and not very well.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: At first, he's a Jerkass, especially Angel, whom he takes an instant dislike to. Fisher fears that Angel will take his job, possibly because he's aware of how incompetent he truly is. Nevertheless, he eventually warms up to Angel, and willingly follows his orders during the climax fight while he goes after the big boss with Danny.
    Angel: Can you handle this, Sergeant Fisher? We're going to go after the big boss!
    Tony: We're on it, Sergeant!
  • The Strategist: Reveals a talent for riot tactics in the final battle. Turns out, he has two talents.
  • What He Said: He 'asks' Angel what he 'reckons' and then acts like he's agreeing instead of stealing.

    Doris Thatcher 

PC Doris Thatcher

Played By: Olivia Colman

"I could've given you the tour. I've been around the station a few times."

The only female police officer in the Sandford Police Service. She is first met when Sgt. Nicholas Angel arrives in Sandford and is touring the Sandford Police Station. Throughout all of her appearances, she says many sexual innuendos.


    Bob Walker 

PC Bob Walker

Played By: Karl Johnson


The oldest police officer in the Sandford Police Service. He is first met when Nicholas Angel arrives in Sandford and is touring the Sandford Police Station. Throughout all of his appearances, he speaks in an inaudible mumbling sound and always has his dog, Saxon, with him.

  • Dirty Old Man: The only time he utters actual words, they're 'tits' and 'cocks'.
  • Jaded Washout: Seems spectacularly apathetic. One fan explanation is that he remembers what the town used to be like, and/or has some idea of what the NWA has been up to, considering how quick he was to believe Angel's explanation.
  • This Explains So Much: When Angel tells him the truth about Frank and the NWA, he says that he "reckon's he's got something there." as if the final piece to a puzzle finally fell into place for him. (Given how old he is, it's possible he'd been harbouring suspicion for years prior.)
  • The Unintelligible: His accent is so broad it's almost impossible for non-locals to understand him. Danny has to translate for Nicolas's benefit on more than one occasion, until the end. At one point, he's used as a translator for the even more unintelligible Mr. Webley.
  • Those Two Guys: With Saxon.


Sgt. Turner

Played By: Bill Bailey

"Nobody tells me nothin'."

A pair of twins who respectively work the night and day shifts as desk sergeants at the Standford Police Station.

  • Always Identical Twins: Their hair is different though, and they read different genres of books.
  • Locked Out of the Loop: The night shift's sergeant is never told anything, to the extent that he's not present at the finale.



Played By: Sampson

A dog in the Sandford Police Service. He is first met when Nicholas Angel arrives in Sandford and is touring the Sandford Police Station. He is constantly with PC Bob Walker, and is always ordered to patrol areas.

  • Team Pet: Has this vibe, as Sandford is really not the sort of place that can make use of his actual talents.
  • Those Two Guys: With Bob Walker.


Neighborhood Watch Alliance

    As a Group 

  • Creepy Monotone: Particularly when talking about the Greater Good. note 
  • Felony Misdemeanour: They're perfectly willing to murder people for being irritating, just because it might ruin their chance of winning the Village of the Year competition. Or murder them then blow up their house just for being an eyesore.
  • Fun with Acronyms: They are straight outta Sandford.
  • Hanlon's Razor: At first Nicolas assumed they were committing their crimes as part of a scheme to make money off the land in Sandford. In actuality, they wanted to maintain their title of "Village of the Year" by killing anyone who poses a threat to it. Nicolas is just baffled by this underwhelming and petty excuse.
  • In the Hood: They tend to operate in hooded cloaks when murdering people, which helps hide the reveal they're all in on the conspiracy.
  • Murder Is the Best Solution: Ugly house? Being a bad actor? Stealing biscuits? Being extremely irritating? All deserving of murder.

    Simon Skinner 

Simon Skinner

Played By: Timothy Dalton

"I'm Simon Skinner, and I run the local Supermarché. Stop in and see me some time. My discounts are criminal! Catch me later!"

The manager of Sandford's supermarket, Somerfield. He is a member of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance and has won several trophies for fun-running events.

  • Embarrassing Nickname: "Sissy", which comes from him attending ballet classes in his youth.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: Leslie Tiller is his cousin. He even states that he's not happy about killing her.
  • Even Evil Has Standards:
    • He's fine with murder, but running over a swan? That's where he draws the line.
    • Apparently running the supermarket properly is another one of his only morals.
  • Evil Gloating: Downplayed. He just can't help taunting Angel with little hints of his culpability, like playing "Fire" on his car stereo after Merchant's house goes up in flames.
  • Faux Affably Evil: He's a fun-running champion and enjoys a cordial relationship with his staff and customers. Though he's still a remorseless, cold blooded serial-killer with no empathy.
  • Hate Sink: Putting aside his humorous qualities and affable facade, Skinner is a despicable, psychopathic monster who lacks any real sympathetic qualities and revels in gleefully murdering innocent people.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: A subtle one. He slips on a model van sporting the logo of his own supermarket and gets impaled on the spire of a model of the church, which he previously used to kill someone.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: A rare non-fatal case.
  • Lack of Empathy: Never shows any guilt or remorse for the murders he commits.
  • Large Ham: It's clear that Timothy Dalton is having an absolute blast in the role.
  • Not-So-Well-Intentioned Extremist: It's implied that he doesn't care about the greater good for Sanford, and just simply enjoys killing to satisfy his own bloodlust.
  • Obviously Evil: C'mon, how can you not suspect this guy? Subverted when it turns out that Skinner wasn't the one behind all of the killings. Double subverted when it turns out that he wasn't behind all of the killings.
  • Punctuated Pounding: "Get! Out! Of my! Village!"
  • Real Men Wear Pink: He was a ballet dancer in his youth.
  • Red Herring: Subverted; While at first it seemed blatantly obvious Skinner killed all of the victims over some overly complex plan to secure valuable land, he seemingly proves his innocence with a rock-solid alibi. That is until Angel successfully deduces he's just one of many murderers.
  • Sadist: Unlike the other killers in the film, it's implied Skinner seems to take joy in killing his victims, and is not even the least bit ashamed of it.
  • Sharp-Dressed Man: He's usually dressed in a nice suit.
  • Slasher Smile: He doesn't seem able to smile in any other way.
  • Smug Smiler: He's frequently smiling with delight.
  • The Sociopath: He shows no empathy or regret for his killings. And while the other murderous members of the cult believe they're doing the right thing (or so they believe), Skinner seems to be only in it to satisfy his own bloodlust.
  • Villain Respect: He can't help but smile when Nick returns to Sanfurd, alive and armed to the teeth. Then again, maybe he wanted to kill the man personally.
  • Would Hurt a Child: He takes young Aaron A. Aaronson hostage.

    Prof. Tom Weaver 

Prof. Tom Weaver

Played By: Edward Woodward

"You'll find that we run a very tight ship here."

A professor and a citizen of Sandford. He is first met when Nicholas Angel is touring the Sandford Police Station. Tom is the Civilian Liaison for the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.

  • Asshole Victim: You won't be shedding a tear for him when he dies at the end.
  • Casting Gag: Back in 1973 Woodward starred in The Wicker Man where he as a young no-nonsense cop showed up in the quiet village and started to root out a dark mystery.
  • Big Brother Is Watching: Serves as Sandford's surveillance.
  • Dragon Their Feet: He turns up after the NWA have all been arrested, and subsequently he's the only member to be killed.
  • Felony Misdemeanour: He gets really worked up over the Living Statue, and teenagers just hanging around.
  • Hypocrite: Accuses Angel of being a busybody at the end of the movie, even though he's far more of a busybody, using his cameras to spy on everyone in Sandford, and getting worked up over teenagers sitting around.
  • Karmic Death: He's the only member of the NWA who gets killed. And to really hammer it home, he gets blown up by a sea-mine.
  • Not-So-Harmless Villain: Sandford PD completely forgets him and he almost kills Danny.
  • Oh, Crap!: After being pinned down by an active sea mine, his last words are, "Oh God, no."

    Joyce Cooper 

Joyce Cooper

Played By: Billie Whitelaw


The wife of Bernard Cooper; together they run the hotel. She is the first Sandford citizen that Nicholas Angel meets.

  • BFG: She wields one in the climax. It makes her beehive hairdo wobble.note 
  • Death Glare: Shoots Nicholas a truly impressive one when she thinks he's calling her a "hag". But once she realizes he was referring to the crossword, she goes back to her warm smile.
  • Hell Hotel: The hotel is portrayed as a rather creepy place, and her first lines are reminiscent of a horror film. It seems to be eccentricity rather than actual malice. Ultimately, however, deserves this reputation.
  • Hypocrite: Angrily calls Nicholas Angel a "fascist", even though all Nicholas is doing is bringing genuine justice to Sanford, and she's pretty fascist herself.
    • Unless she just said it as the Meaningful Echo, and didn't fully understand what the word meant.
    • She also uses a Second World War German submachinegun during the final battle.
  • Faux Affably Evil: Before the twist she's shown as a perfectly pleasant person. But it was a mask.

    Bernard Cooper 

Major Bernard Cooper

Played By: Eric Mason

Joyce Cooper's husband.

  • Close-Range Combatant: He is the only member of the NWA to attack Nicholas with a melee weapon. His Weapon of Choice is a cavalry sabre.
  • Majorly Awesome: Well, past his prime.
  • The Quiet One: In his first scene, he's asleep. He says nothing throughout the rest of the film until he yells at Nicholas as he attacks him with a sabre, and then mourns his hip once downed.
  • Retired Badass: Judging by his title and that his skill with his sabre seems to be limited only by his age.
  • Senior Sleep Cycle: Spends most of his time dozing off.

    Dr. Hatcher 

Dr. Robin Hatcher

Played By: Stuart Wilson

Sandford's resident doctor. He is first met at the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance meeting.

  • Agony of the Feet: He frequently gets shot in the leg and foot area.
  • Deadly Doctor: Not so deadly.
  • Dr. Jerk: While casually insensitive for most of the film, he is one of the most mocking NWA members during the shooting, enjoying his tirade against Nicholas and Danny.
  • Meaningful Name: His name is Hatcher and he helped with Danny's birth. This comes up later as he tells Danny: "I brought you into this world. I think it's rather fitting that I should be the one to take you out of it."
  • Running Gag: Getting shot in the leg. "He's a doctor, he'll deal with it."

    Rev. Shooter 

Rev. Philip Shooter

Played By: Paul Freeman

The cleric of Sandford, and a member of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance.

  • Badass Preacher: He actually manages to shoot Angel directly and probably would have killed him if not for Angel's bulletproof vest.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Shooter isn't the kindly Reverend he pretends to be.
  • Hypocritical Humour: He's a minister, yet screams a somewhat blasphemous "Jesus Christ!" when Danny shoots him in the shoulder.
  • Meaningful Name: His name is Shooter. He packs two Derringer pistols, held akimbo.
  • Nothing Up My Sleeve: He hides a pistol in each sleeve, and actually manages to get good two shots off at Angel that likely would have killed him if he wasn't wearing his vest.
  • Precision F-Strike: "Fuck off, Grasshopper".
  • Shut Up, Kirk!: When Angel delivers a short speech to Shooter, the good Reverend responds, "Fuck off, Grasshopper!" and shoots him with his previously-concealed pistols.
  • Sinister Minister: Due to being a member of the NWA.

    Michael Armstrong 

Michael 'Lurch' Armstrong

Played By: Rory McCann

The very unintelligent henchman of Simon Skinner who works at Somerfield.

    Greg and Sheree Prosser 

Greg and Sheree Prosser

Played By: Trevor Nichols and Elizabeth Elvin

  • Battle Couple: Not that it does them much good.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Fancy themselves as semi-professional actors, waiting in the wings for their big breaks. Have had a role as an extra and a cadaver between them.
  • The Voiceless: Never talk throughout the film.

    Mr Treacher 

Mr. A. Treacher

Played By: Tim Barlow

Guy walking around in a trench coat.

  • Conspicuous Trenchcoat: Draws Nicholas's eye almost immediately. Why is he wearing such a clunky coat when it's not cold enough to warrant it? Danny laughs at the suggestion he's hiding something beneath it, but later, in vain, tries to revive the topic to resuscitate Nicholas's enthusiasm. Turns out Treacher's hiding a mean gun.
  • Grumpy Old Man: Seems perpetually grouchy. In the final moments of the film, he is the NWA member most visibly angry and indignant at the proceedings.
  • The Voiceless: And rarely discussed by the other characters, making him the most mysterious NWA member.

    Leslie Tiller 

Leslie Tiller

Played By: Anne Reid

Sandford's resident gardener and a member of the Neighbourhood Watch Alliance. Her gardening skills helped put Sandford on the map.

  • Catchphrase: Whenever she mentions any of the deceased persons, she appends "god rest [him / her / the lot of them]".
  • If I Can't Have You...: Non-romantic variant. The NWA didn't want her moving away, since she would take her famous gardening skills with her, so they murdered her.
    Simon Skinner: Cousin Leslie was a terrible shame...but it seems she was set on moving away.
    Tom Weaver: We couldn't have her sharing her green fingers with anyone else.
    Reverend Shooter: Not less those heathens at Buford Abbey!
    Dr. Hatcher: If we can't have one can.
  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: By an NWA member. With her own pruning shears.
  • Meaningful Name: She's a gardener, and her name is Tiller. Hard to get more blatant than that.

    Annette Roper 

Annette Roper

Played By: Patricia Franklin

Runs the shop where Nick and Danny buy Cornettos.

  • Saying Too Much: Annette is responsible for the entire NWA's plot unravelling, by asking Danny if they've made any progress catching those murderers plural instead of murderer single, Nick realizes there has to be more than one murderer and snaps out of his funk.

    Amanda Paver 

Amanda Paver

Played By: Lorraine Hilton

The local primary school's headmistress.

Sandford Citizens

    Tim Messenger 

Tim Messenger

Played By: Adam Buxton

A journalist who often asks Nicholas to be interviewed, with little success.

  • Impaled with Extreme Prejudice: By a piece of a church, which falls on his head and stays embedded in his upper body.
  • Intrepid Reporter: Clearly would like to be this, and so reports on Sandford with considerable zeal.
  • Meaningful Name: A messenger with a message for Angel and/or the town in general.
  • OOC Is Serious Business: Nicholas goes to dismiss him again at the fete, until Tim very seriously expresses his need to relay some extremely important information... that leads to his grisly demise.
  • Rouge Angles of Satin: His grasp of spelling is amazingly awful, especially for a reporter. In fact, he even writes Angel's name as Angle. It's why the NWA kill him.
  • Spanner in the Works: Nick finds out in his articles that he assumes Skinner was involved in a land-buying scheme. While it turns out that's not the reason he was killed, it helps Nick connect Skinner to the murderers.
  • Verbal Tic: "Hi-hi!"
  • Your Head Asplode: A piece of the church roof falls on him, splattering his head.

    Martin Blower 

Martin Blower

Played By: David Threlfall

A respected Solicitor from Sandford. He was playing the leading role of Romeo in the famous play Romeo and Juliet along with Eve Draper.

  • Amoral Attorney: We never see him practice law, but he's perfectly fine with going way over the speed limit.
  • Asshole Victim: Defied. He may be a little smug, but Nick makes it clear that he didn't deserve to be murdered.
  • Bad "Bad Acting": During the Romeo & Juliet production. Except when it comes to kissing Eve Draper. This is ultimately why the NWA kill him.
  • Camp Straight: Blower acts rather effeminate and camp, but he's carrying on an affair with Eve Draper.
  • Cool Car: With which he exceeds the speed limit.
  • Dawson Casting: In-universe, he plays Romeo, who is supposed to be somewhere in his late teens.
  • Jerkass: Basically every irritating motorist rolled up into one.
  • May–December Romance: With Eve Draper.
  • Meaningful Name: He blows a lot of hot air...
  • Large Ham: Especially during the play.
  • Off with His Head!: How he ends up.
  • Slimeball: His attempts at 'charm'. It's a wonder he managed to start an affair with Eve Draper in the first place. Of course, she didn't seem to be one of Sandford's leading lights (in intellect, or perception).

    Eve Draper 

Eve Draper

Played By: Lucy Punch

A city council member from Sandford. She was playing the leading role of Juliet in the famous play Romeo and Juliet along with Martin Blower.

  • Annoying Laugh: The reason she's killed, in addition to being a terrible actress and having an affair with Martin Blower.
  • Bad "Bad Acting": During the Romeo & Juliet production, she's even worse than Martin. The only convincing part of her performance is when she and Martin kiss.
  • The Ditz: Intelligence is not her strong suit.
  • May–December Romance: With Martin Blower. She tends to favour the older gentleman in general.
    Danny: Marcus Carter’s big brother said he’d fingered her up the duck pond.
  • Meaningful Name: Both a reference to Evelyn Draper in Play Misty for Me, and a play on eavesdropper.
  • No Kill Like Overkill: She gets stabbed multiple times and then beheaded'.
  • Off with Her Head!: Along with Blower.



Played By: Alice Lowe

  • Ax-Crazy: During the fight in the super-market, she runs at the police screaming and brandishing a knife.
  • Curb-Stomp Battle: They don't even need to open fire on her. She's simply blindsided and knocked on her ass by Doris with a wet floor sign while she's still charging at the cops.
  • The Dark Chick: For Skinner.
  • Perpetual Frowner: She rarely deviates from her bored gaze.
  • Sexy Secretary: For Skinner. She works part-time as a table dancer at a place called 'Flappers'.

    Arthur Webley 

Arthur Webley

Played By: David Bradley

A farmer in Sandford. Nicholas Angel, Danny Butterman, Bob Walker, and Saxon are called to his house when James Reaper complains that he has been cutting hedges that don't belong to him.

  • Collector of the Strange: He's collected hundreds of guns of all range and sizes, not to mention an old sea mine.
  • Killed Offscreen: Nicholas gives him a citation for owning an entire arsenal of illegal firearms and he turns up later on with the rest of the dead bodies that the NWA has killed.
  • Meaningful Name: Mr. Webley has a massive collection of guns, fitting for someone named after a revolver.
  • More Dakka: So much so, that they have their own theme on the soundtrack. ("Lethal Fuzz", which samples from Lethal Weapon trailers.)
  • Mass "Oh, Crap!": Initiates one with Nicholas and Danny when he seemingly sets off that sea mine.
  • The Unintelligible: They need to bring around the slightly more intelligible Bob Walker to translate for Danny, who translates Bob for Nicholas.

    George Merchant 

George Merchant

Played By: Ron Cook

A successful businessman in Sandford.

  • Big Fancy House: Which everyone hates and why he is killed.
  • Can't Hold His Liquor: Gets incredibly drunk after an "accidental death" in the town, forcing Nick and Danny to take him home, and it helps the NWA make his death look like a drunken attempt at cooking gone wrong.
    • Also, since the victims of the "accidental deaths" are two close friends of his, his overdrinking in the pub could be seen as a result of him drowning his sorrows.
  • Jerkass: Double-parks his big-ass Range Rover in the supermarket car-park without a care in the world, and built a ridiculously ostentatious house.
  • Kill It with Fire: One of the NWA members knock him out and blow up his house with him in it, making it look like an accident.
  • Meaningful Name: He's a rich merchant.
  • Stealth Pun: He got rich through kitchen appliances; he's a fridge magnate (magnet).

    The Swan 

The Swan

Played By: Elvis


A local swan who escapes from 'the castle' and proceeds to evade Sandford Police.

  • Chekhov's Boomerang: It keeps on coming back.
  • Danger Takes a Backseat: In the finale, when it takes down Frank.
  • Evil-Detecting Dog: Swan in this case. It's fine when Nick and Danny put it in the backseat, if a little put out. Butterman is another story; it attacks the man and causes him to crash.
  • The Runaway: It constantly runs away from its human.
  • Running Gag: Its continual evasion of the Sandford Police Department, and the repeated fact that a swan can break a man's arm.
  • Swans A-Swimming: Sandford's resident swan, it's apparently not content with looking graceful in the castle pond.

Metropolitan Police

    The Sergeant 

The Sergeant

Played By: Martin Freeman

A member of the Metropolitan Police Service. He calls Nicholas Angel into his office to inform him of his recent promotion to Sergeant, as well as his transfer.

    The Inspector 

The Inspector

Played By: Steve Coogan

The Inspector at Nicholas Angel's station.

    The Chief Inspector 

Ch. Insp. Kenneth

Played By: Bill Nighy

A Chief Inspector at the Metropolitan Police Service. He is called into the office by the Met Inspector and the Met Sergeant in order to convince Nicholas Angel that he is indeed being transferred.

  • Brutal Honesty: While the Sergeant and Inspector tip-toe around the issue, Kenneth comes right out and tells Nick the reason he's being 'promoted'.
    Chief Inspector: The fact of the matter is, you've been making us all look bad.
  • The Cameo: For regular Wright alumni, Bill Nighy.
  • Da Chief: Likely to be the most senior officer at the station.
  • Jerkass: He's more directly nasty to Angel than the Met Inspector or Sergeant.
  • Only One Name: Out of Angel's three Met bosses, he's the only one named.
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: As he explains to Angel:
    Angel: With respect, Sir, you can't just make people disappear.
    Chief Inspector: Yes, I can. I'm the Chief Inspector.



Played By: Cate Blanchett

A crime scene investigator for the Metropolitan Police Service and Nicholas Angel's ex-girlfriend. When he gets transferred to Sandford, he goes to her to inform her. There, she attempts to connect with Nicholas, but he instead focuses on their job.

  • The Cameo: She's played by an uncredited Cate Blanchett.
  • The Faceless: Due to her mask.
  • Glasses Pull: Parodied with her pulling off her crime scene goggles, which has no effect due to the mask.

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