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A character sheet for Guidestuck. Spoilers below.

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Protagonists

     Becquerel Harley/calling Cujo 
"I'd kill for anybody to hang around with. And I really wish I had somebody to tell me how fast I'm growing up? Because half of the time I can't even remember what day it is."

The first character introduced: a human Expy of the Homestuck character Becquerel. He has lived all his life on a remote island in the Pacific, with only his dog Jade for company.

Sburb classifies him as the Knight of Rage.

His typing quirk is bright green, and lacks grammar.

  • Book Dumb: Justified trope; he had no one to teach him English before Jaspers befriended him.
  • Fatal Flaw: Wrath, as his title indicates. It makes him even more difficult to communicate with.
  • First Snow: Experiences this upon being deposited in the Land Of Sleds And Mailboxes. Jadepuppysprite thoughtfully brings him a coat.
  • Heroic BSoD / Tranquil Fury: When Jade is accidentally killed by Jaspers.
    "You killed her because you weren't listening to me. You listen to me now, or I swear to God you'll regret ever meeting me."
  • Heroes Love Dogs: Adores Jade and plasters his walls with dog and wolf posters.
  • Mundane Luxury: It takes so long to get things posted to his house that simply receiving mail is cause for celebration.
  • No Social Skills: Feels overwhelmed by Cal's eagerness to talk, and relies on Jaspers to help him with Cal and Quinn.
    • Jaspers attributes Bec's grumpiness to his awkwardness around people.
  • Secretly Wealthy: He is simply so rich, and so removed from society, that it simply does not occur to him how important money is to 90% of humanity- so the subject never comes up. Upon connecting to Bec, Jaspers is shocked to see the Harley estate.
  • The Nicknamer: Refers to Cal as 'Pinocchio' and Jaspers by various cat-themed epithets.

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     Jaspers Lalonde/acinonyx Anonymous 
"I don’t need him to tell me I’m an adult. I already know that. If he can’t come to grips with it, that’s his problem. Not mine."

The second character introduced; a human Expy of the Homestuck character Jaspers. He lives with his father in a mansion.

Sburb classifies him as the Prince of Doom.

  • Be Careful What You Wish For: A recurring theme in Jaspers' narration is his desire to be treated as an adult and (he thinks) truly respected. Sburb is exactly the kind of game designed to smash this hubris to bits.
  • Condescending Compassion: A rare heroic example. He does care for his friends, but almost never treats them as equals.
  • Dirty Coward: AP accuses Jaspers of being this because he never told Bec the truth.
  • Don't You Dare Pity Me!: Rejects his father's love because he equates it with being treated like a child. It takes some prodding from Bec before he realizes that he can have both independence and a healthy parental relationship.
  • Fatal Flaw: Pride. He frequently dismisses others as silly or incompetent.
  • Good Feels Good: Initially befriended Bec to assuage his own guilt over bullying him, but later came to genuinely value his friendship with him.
    • While hugging Mapledad, he realizes that showing affection for his father doesn't make him any less mature.
    ...It feels pretty GOOD to be nice to your Dad.
  • Shipper on Deck: Supports Bec/Cal, much to the former's annoyance.
  • Spoiled Brat: Indirectly.

     Quinn Egbert/based Fabio 

The third character introduced; a human Expy of a harlequin doll in Homestuck.

Sburb classifies her as the Maid of Heart.

  • Birds of a Feather: Bonds with Cal over their shared love of roleplaying and attraction to other members of the group.
  • Covert Pervert:
    There's nothing quite like a STEAMY PAPERBACK NOVEL or SHORT EROTIC ONE-SHOT, and while your mother thinks your enjoyment of such things doesn't extend much farther than DAY-GLO BLOODSUCKERS who sparkle in the sunlight, your AMAZON.COM, DEVIANTART, and FANFICTION.NET ACCOUNTS would be INCREDIBLY REVEALING if she happened across them.
  • Gosh Dang It to Heck!: Never uses swear words, except to imply them in abbreviations.
    "I don't need to cuss to sound tough!"
  • Only Sane Man: Is the most well adjusted of the protagonists.
  • Sadistic Choice: Makes one after Acialu tells her about Sburb's true nature. She can abandon the game and leave Jaspers to die, or play it and endanger herself. Obviously, she chooses the latter.
  • Shipper on Deck: Supports Cal/Bec.
  • Smitten Teenage Girl: To Jaspers, who reciprocates.
    ...so the SULTRY PRINCE of your CHILDLIKE, IDEALISTIC INFATUATION is safe from prying eyes at last...
  • The Chick: Her hobbies and room décor are rather traditionally feminine.
  • The Heart: She is the only character everyone in the group likes, and strongly devoted to helping them through their emotional travails. Dardan explicitly points out that they need her in their lives.

     Cal Strider/pinocchios Vices 

The fourth character introduced; a human Expy of Lil Cal in Homestuck. He note  lives with Liv in an apartment.

Sburb classifies him as the Bard of Light.

  • Abhorrent Admirer: Is unceasingly and stubbornly enthusiastic when talking to Bec. This is mostly why Bec feels uncomfortable around him.
  • Ambiguous Gender: While he prefers to be referred to as male, Word of God says that his birth gender is intentionally unclear.
  • Birds of a Feather: Bonds with Quinn over their shared love of roleplaying and attraction to other members of the group.
  • Gold Tooth: As in canon. Unlike most examples of the trope, he is poor.
  • Hypocritical Humor: Considers Squarewave's unwanted advances annoying, yet he's every bit as guilty of unwanted advances himself (toward Bec). Played for Laughs, of course.
  • Keet: Easily excitable.
  • Shipper on Deck: Supports Quinn/Jaspers.
  • Stepford Smiler: Projects a happy front when talking with Bec, likely to encourage their friendship. In conversations with the other characters, he is far more depressed.
  • Lonely Doll Girl: Is bullied at school, and constantly struggles with maintaining his online friendships. After an especially bad argument with Jaspers, he comments that he's going to go 'hang out with [his] bros'.
  • Love Hurts: Is acutely aware that Bec doesn't return his feelings, or even like him all that much.
    Cal: I just want to like me, even a little bit...
    Jaspers He does. I swear, he does. It really shouldn't be so important to you, though.
    Cal: You don't know what it's like...He's always liked you...And BF...
  • Mood-Swinger: His emotions are changeable and highly intense. This is exemplified in his first pesterlog, where he switches from fear to anger to sadness in the space of five lines.

Sprites

     Jade/Jadepuppysprite 

A puppy Bec adopted after finding her injured on his island. She was accidentally killed by Jaspers and brought back to life through the prototyping process.

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     Rose 

Jaspers' cat.

     John 

Quinn's favorite doll.

     Dave 

Cal's least favorite puppet.

Supporting Characters

     auxiliary Protocol 

"How do you even know what's going on? Who are you?"
"I'm the person who's going to save your sorry ass."

A mysterious figure who is familiar with both the kids and lusii. He has benevolent intentions, but is contemptuous of every character he's messaged so far.

According to Word of God, he (?) has played Sburb, but his title and aspect are currently unknown.

  • Dark Shepherd: Bullies and manipulates people in order to save the timeline.

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The Lusii

The Lusii share their class with the canon trolls.

     Aurthour Zahhak / broken Caballus 
"Please, Lady Serket. You know as well as I do that this is morally wrong."

One of Quinn's patrons, an indigo-blood, and Equius' lusus. Matesprits with Wyvern.

Sburb classifies him as the Heir of Hope.

  • Artificial Limbs: Because of an accident he refuses to talk about, his abdomen and two of his original legs were replaced with these.
  • Forced into Evil: Stheno forced him to upload Sburb onto Jaspers' computer, threatening to kill Wyvern if he didn't.
  • Hypocrite: Considers the other lusii irresponsible for letting their respective trolls die...but his is also dead.
  • Jumped at the Call: When a calf, he was chosen to become an emissary to the empress, a job he eagerly anticipated.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero!: Was partially responsible for creating Sgrub.
    • The Atoner: And is now trying his utmost to prevent it from killing the humans.
  • Our Centaurs Are Different: Is the only lusus (so far) to have four legs.
  • Still Wearing the Old Colors: Specifically, his coat, even though the high rank it signified is now irrelevant. note 
    You still wear your STANDARD REGALIA every day, some would say like an IDIOT...

     Stheno / gorgons Temptation 
"Here's an idea, Zahhak. Do it, or I'll kill her. I'll kill her slowly. And I'll make you watch while I suck out her insides and eat her fucking heart."

One of Bec's patrons, a cerulean-blood, and Vriska's lusus.

Sburb classifies her as the Thief of Blood.

  • Big Bad: Shaping up to be a, if not the, major villain. She forces the kids into playing Sburb and brainwashes the other lusii into helping her.
  • Meaningful Name: Stheno was one of the mythological gorgons (as alluded to by the character's tag). Her name means: 'The forceful', because she had a higher body count than those of the other gorgons combined.

     Ocerus / poseidons Coronation / Otto 

"I'm just looking out for myself. Somebody's got to."

One of Quinn's patrons, a violet-blood, and Eridan's lusus.

Sburb classifies him as the Prince of Void.

  • Love Hurts: He knows that his attraction to Quinn is unreciprocated, and calls it 'unnatural'.

     Falkor / ceaseless Dreams / Faustus 
"I know what I'm doing. Saving the universe from its own fuckups. I can deal with being lonely if I'm ushering in the gods."

One of Quinn's patrons, a purple-blood, and Gamzee's lusus.

Sburb classifies him as the Bard of Mind.

     Cappra / archaeological Grifter 

"This is a serious matter, you will soon see. But you should enjoy yourself in the meantime."

One of Jaspers' patrons, a burgundy-blood, and Aradia's lusus.

Sburb classifies her as the Maid of Breath.

     Gl’bgolyb 
"What did I say about BEHAVING!?"

One of Jaspers' patrons, a fuchsia-blood, and Feferi's lusus.

Sburb classifies her as the Witch of Doom.

     Wyvern / twisted Acquittal 

"You don't understand! I've been trying for so long to create a branch where you survive. But you never listen to me! If you would only listen..."

One of Bec's patrons, a teal-blood, and Terezi's lusus. Matesprits with Aurthour.

Sburb classifies her as the Seer of Time.

  • Adaptational Badass: By virtue of being an egg in canon.
  • Heroic BSoD: Has a bad one when she fails to save their doomed timeline.
    You try to be TA, but you can't. You're not quite ready for that yet, and frankly, she's not either.
    Let's be someone else instead, okay?
    ...Please?
  • Leitmotif: W4RN1NG.
  • Meaningful Name: A wyvern is a type of dragon.
  • Official Couple: With Aurthour.
  • Seers: As the Seer of Time, she knew that Sburb was going to ruin both her and Bec's timelines and tried to warn Bec. He didn't listen, however and now the timeline is doomed.

     Pounce / felicitous Stalking 

"You and I just seem to...hmm. Be fated to know one another."

One of Jaspers' patrons, an olive-blood, and Nepeta's lusus.

Sburb classifies her as the Rogue of Rage.

     Dardan / crusty Attitude 

One of Bec's patrons, a red-blood, and Karkat's lusus.

Sburb classifies him as the Knight of Light.

  • Hero-Worshipper: Calls Quinn "Your majesty".
  • Large Ham: Greets Quinn with eloquent terminology from her roleplaying with Ocerus. He ends every sentence with a exclamation mark, and types entirely in all caps.

     Acialu 

One of Cal's patrons, a jade-blood, and Kanaya's lusus.

Sburb classifies her as the Sylph of Life.

  • Informed Conversation: Has a short chat with Quinn, in which (as can be inferred from Quinn's reaction) Acialu tells her the true nature of Sburb, and that Quinn's friends and family are all going to die. However, because Aurthour is the viewpoint character then, we don't see it.
  • Winged Humanoid: By virtue of being part-moth.

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