Played by Grimmjack
The eponymous protagonist of the series. A guild member of mysterious origin, Goblin Slayer lives for one simple thing: killing GAAWBLINS
- Adaptational Intelligence: In some respects, he's far more intelligent than Anime!Goblin Slayer as he has more in depth knowledge about some things beyond goblins like weapon expertise and aspects of other classes like barbarians.
- He knows more about magic and supernatural phenomena than Anime!Goblin slayer and references not only spells but the tiers that they belong to.
Goblin Slayer: I mean yeah we could have. But were you holding out on a fourth tier neutralize poison spell? You got your god on speed-dial girlie?!
- Know the skills and abilities of other job classes and is able to comment on them intelligently.
Goblin Slayer: (To rookie warrior) Sounds like a classic case of warrior's madness. That's a powerful weapon in a Berserker's toolkit. You ever thought about becoming a barbarian?
- He seems to have a pretty decent understanding of biology too.
Goblin Slayer: While being asphyxiated by a garrote wire, blood flow to the brain and oxygen flow to the lungs is halted. Adrenaline kicks in as a last resort. Your body is dying and it knows it.
- Adaptational Jerkass: He is much more socially aggressive than his canon counterpart. Canon Goblin Slayer could be kind of cold and aloof, but he also had a heart that was visible pretty easily. The abridged version of Goblin Slayer is full-on Ax-Crazy, always shouts, and is much more openly abrasive about things he doesn't like.
- Adaptational Villainy: Goblin Slayer takes far more pleasure in the slaughter of Goblins, with seemingly no motivation beyond just plain hating them. He also doesn't seem to care who just killed in the cross-fire, such as a village he burned down along with a nest of Goblins. However, due to Character Development, it's shown in the fourth episode that his reason for hating goblins is very similar to Canon!Goblin Slayer.
- Ambiguous Disorder: For some reason, Goblin Slayer goes from reserved and soft-spoken to vicious and maniacal depending on whether or not his helmet is on. Also, he seems to have traits of PTSD, as reliving his more traumatic memories causes him to fly into an anxiety-induced mania.
- As mentioned under Obfuscating Insanity below, Goblin Slayer's Ax-Crazy, goblin-obsessed, Blood Knight personality may be a coping mechanism that allows him to focus all of his hatred and rage onto the goblins that took everything from him.
- Ass Shove: Goblin Slayer keeps his potions in the one place Goblins wouldn't look: his ass. When High Elf Archer kicked him down the hill in Episode 5, the bottles broke and killed him, requiring a second resurrection spell.
- Ax-Crazy: One look at his behavior is enough to tell you just how much he loves killing Goblins. This is somewhat lampshaded, as Goblin Slayer refers to it as "Warrior Madness".
- Blood Knight: He loves killing goblins. And just about anything else, but mostly goblins.
- Calling Your Attacks: He loves calling out his attacks, no matter how mundane they are.
- Cloud Cuckoolander: He is a lunatic who talks to his table, rants almost exclusively about Goblins, and acts like a petulant child when he is forced to take a day off from Goblin slaying due to having died against the Goblin Champion (he was resurrected by Sword Maiden).
- Dark and Troubled Past: As revealed in the fourth episode, Goblin Slayer's motive for hunting down goblins is almost exactly like his canon counterpart: the goblins killed his family and destroyed his village.
Burglar: The goblins took your family! The goblins took your world! How will you make them pay? What will you take from THEM?
Goblin Slayer: Everything.
- Genius Ditz: Inept at anything not related to goblins. A genius related to anything that has to do with goblins.
- Hot-Blooded: Highlighted in the very first episode, more specifically his speech at the end while he's prepping to kill goblin children.
: I wish I was innocent like you, but I'm not.
I'm full of rage, and beans
, SPIRIT, PRIDE, AND HEART, AND SOUL, AND RAGE, AND BEANS! SPICY BEANS
! The only good goblin's a dead goblin, now LET'S MAKE THESE GOBLINS GOOD!!!
- I Resemble That Remark!:
- Jerkass Has a Point: In Episode 5, he rips into Sword Maiden, calling her pathetic and selfish for calling on him for help when she could have used her dire crocodile familiar to kill the goblins. And if he's here helping Sword Maiden, then someone else is in trouble, without his help. Goblin Slayer ends up bringing her to tears, but Sword Maiden knows that he's right.
Goblin Slayer: If I'm not out there killing goblins, some innocent girl might suffer the same fate as you... Or worse. People might die because you lured us here, Sword Maiden. For your own selfish reasons.
- Multi-Melee Master: Even more so than Anime!Goblin Slayer. He is well versed in weapons and the effects of using said weapons, particularly in how damaging and lethal they can be.
Goblin Slayer: "With a thickness of a club it should be able to cause blunt force trauma to its GAWBLIN-like target. Resulting in concussions, broken bones and muscular damage. It requires nearly no maintenance and every end of it is operational. Meaning that even if it breaks you'll still be able to use it compared to your run of the mill sword. Overall, pretty good and cheap."
- Obfuscating Insanity: Episode 5 reveals that Goblin Slayer is surprisingly much more mature and noble than he lets on, and only acts like a murderous psycho for the sake of appearances and to cope with the trauma of his past.
- Person of Mass Destruction: Stated and implied multiple times by comments from characters about and to Goblin Slayer about his prefered methods of goblin slaying being irresponsible and a massive danger to the people around him and the area he's in on Goblin Slayer's part for him it being both intentionally and incidentally needlessly destructive.
Well, I could take the goblins out easier but some
people think that fire, water, poison, beer, and cheese
are completely irresponsible and cause unfathomable destruction on those around me! Elf Archer: Some
people think that because it's TRUE!!
- "The Reason You Suck" Speech: When Sword Maiden still has the nerve to ask him to stay in Water Town with her after she lied to him and the party, he tears into her with a speech that's enough to drive her to tears. With none of his usual sass or sociopathy.
Goblin Slayer: ...Hm. Pathetic. A waste of my time. You can turn into a cult-slaying kaiju monstrosity, and you ask for MY help? I do my job for the love of killing goblins, sure. But that's not the only reason. I do it because somewhere out there, a nameless village no one will remember might get burned to the ground if someone doesn't step in and kill some filthy goblins before they attack. So that a family with a name no one will remember gets to see another day with their loved ones. You have unlimited resources. You could have asked ANYONE in the world for help. You have the God of Justice on speed dial, and you're trying to guilt trip ME into living with you? If I'm not out there killing goblins, some innocent girl might suffer the same fate as you... Or worse. People might die because you lured us here, Sword Maiden. For your own selfish reasons. I can't believe Priestess looks up to you.
- Roaring Rampage of Revenge: Somehow even moreso than Anime!Goblin Slayer. He won't stop until the entire Goblin race is eradicated, and he couldn't care less about who gets hurt in the crossfire.
- Single-Issue Wonk: If it's not related to killing GAAAWWWBLINS!! then he isn't interested. Priestess only talks him into getting new armor and taking a day off by telling him that it'll be good for killing goblins.
- When he first met High Elf Archer, Lizard Priest, and Dwarf Shaman, Goblin Slayer repeatedly blacked out and dreamed about slaying Goblins because they didn't immediately talk about Goblins. Dwarf Shaman had to speak in his "language" (repeatedly saying the word 'goblin') to keep his attention and him awake.
- Split Personality: When not wearing his helmet, his personality is like that of his stoic canon counterpart. When the helmet is back on, it's back to the usual Ax-Crazy GS.
- Talkative Loon: He's clearly crazy, and he never shuts up about GAAWBLINS!!! and how he wants to kill them.
- You Are Better Than You Think You Are: Somehow both Parodied and Played for Drama. When he tries to tell Priestess that she's far more resourceful and determined than she thinks she is, he accidentally makes himself relive his horrible memories.
Played by ChiChi
High Elf Archer
Played by Joeykat
- Can't Argue with Elves: Unlike Canon!High Elf, whose abrasiveness is only really due to aggressive youth, Abridged!High Elf genuinely holds the stereotypical "I'm better than you" attitude of elves.
- Can't Hold His Liquor: Somehow worse at taking alcohol than Canon!High Elf.
- I Just Want to Be Badass: High Elf would love nothing more than to go on the cool, badass adventures she always dreamt about going and be praised as a hero. Since she's in a party with Goblin Slayer, that may never happen but damn if she won't try.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: She's rude, crass, has a classic case of the Can't Argue with Elves mentality, and gets into petty squabbles with Dwarf Shaman. However, she genuinely cares about helping others and admits that the work Goblin Slayer does is more important than she could possibly realize.
- Vitriolic Best Buds: With Dwarf Shaman. When it looks like they're about to be overwhelmed by Goblins in episode 4, she admits in the most Tsundere way possible that she's enjoyed adventuring with him.
Played by Coffinjockey
Played by EoD
Played by Robert Aaron Parnell
- Glory Hound: He's more concerned with looking cool than doing a job according to Witch.
- Idiot Hero: Not the smartest Adventurer around.
Played by KatastrofreeVA
- The Power of Hate: Learned how to make a "magic squirrel" out of spite towards Goblin Slayer.
- Verbal Ticked: Her trademark slow pausing speech is revealed to be an act.
- We Used to Be Friends: Episodes 2 and 5 give some hints of her being previously associated with Goblin Slayer (Being his companion) but something broke the team.
- The Berserker: Is revealed to have Warrior's Madness, which Goblin Slayer comments is a powerful tool for Barbarians
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: He's terrified of bugs. Too bad a giant cockroach ate his sword.
Played by Laikachi
- Brainwashed and Crazy: Inverted with her Familiar Linda, the dire crocodile. It's revealed in episode 5 that she was controlling the crocodile the party encountered, going after them only in an attempt to scare them before going after the group of goblins. However, the sight of the goblins causes her to Freak Out and pass out, which breaks her hold on the crocodile and allows her to go berserk.
- Cannot Tell a Joke: Is fond of her "Sword Maiden Jokes" which really amount to her denying being Sword Maiden and saying she can't read a map. That and [[spoiler:pretending to sic Linda on the party for a laugh.
- Deus ex Machina: Goblin Slayer angrily mentions that, as a priestess of her experience, she has direct access to one.
- Freak Out: Even when controlling her monstrous familiar, the sight of goblins causes her to panic.
- Secretly Selfish: Sword Maiden has been not-so-subtly trying to drive a wedge between Priestess and Goblin Slayer because she wants Goblin Slayer for herself. Goblin Slayer is anything but happy about her bringing him and the others to Water Town for selfish reasons when she could have called on literally anyone else to do the job of killing the goblins in the sewers, particularly since several of his companions very nearly suffered the same ugly fate she herself suffered or worse, as he spells out in his "Reason You Suck" Speech to her.
- Sewer Gator: Linda, her familiar.
- The Stoic: Much of her time onscreen has her speaking in a calm, motherly voice. Even in the few times she was annoyed her voice remained constantly collected.
- Not So Stoic: That is until episode 5. After Goblin Slayer lays into her as mentioned above, she breaks out into a very much desperate plea to get him to stay, and breaks down crying when it fails and he leaves. Also, in a flashback showing her familiar attacking the group of goblins, it's revealed that the sight of the goblins drove her into a panic to the point of falling unconscious.
- Dare to Be Badass: What the audience has heard of him so far amounts to this.
- Drill Sergeant Nasty: Just like in canon he motivates Goblin Slayer by throwing his family's death in his face and screaming at him to do something about it.
TITAN STORM! (A.K.A. Greenhorn Team)
- Idiot Hero: Warrior is the self-styled leader of Titan Storm. He considers Wizard, or "Magic Girl" as he calls her, the "weak link" on the sole basis of not being able to pull a rabbit out of her hat, was the one who came up with the name of the team and even has a theme song. He even has a sword he calls "Endbringer" which he relies upon for navigation in the goblins' cave, which promptly gets the team lost. When Endbringer fails him (due to being too long to swing in the cave's narrow tunnels), Warrior promptly gets "Akame Ga Killed".
- Too Dumb to Live: Like in canon, they were ill-prepared and didn't come up with a proper strategy for clearing out a goblin nest other than "go in and kill them all". Needless to say, mistakes were made.
Played by Coffinjockey