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The Falcone (McDougal) Family

    James "Jimmy" Falcone 
Voiced by: Tony Nappo

The series protagonist and patriarch of the Falcone family. An Italian-American New York mafia capo for the Gambini crime family who was forced to go into witness protection after killing his boss and ratting out his former associates to the FBI. Now he lives in Regina, Saskatchewan as a suburban father and cubicle drone for the Regina Tourism Office, but even living life as an ordinary Canadian family man won't change his old mobster attitude.


  • Assassination Attempt: It is, for this reason, Jimmy decided to go to the FBI as the Gambini crew were looking to kill him for killing the Don, and didn't care if his family got in the way.
  • Can't Stay Normal: All Jimmy ever knows is how to run a crime family and operate as a mafia capo, he's miserable in Canada because he can no longer use his crime skills to get ahead in life.
  • Cigar Chomper: Is almost always seen with a cigar in his mouth.
  • Damn, It Feels Good to Be a Gangster!: Would still be living the life if Don Gambini hadn't decided to whack Cheech. Or if he just let Cheech be whacked, which, in all honesty, wouldn't have been the worst thing in the world.
  • Deadpan Snarker: He has his moments.
    • From the opening scene in "Oracle of Vagina", while talking to the family's Consigliere behind the gate in a safe house in the army base:
      Consigliere: Look, Jimmy. I've always liked you. In fact, I went to the mat for you to help your family. Help me help you. [pulls out a knife].
      Jimmy: Wow. When does the guy who doesn't like me get here?
    • From "The McFrugals" after Jimmy quit is job:
      Cheech: So, did Toby give you your job back?
      Jimmy: Yeah, Cheech. My first day back and he gave me the day off.
    • From "Sex on Ice" when McCool helps Jimmy hide his identity as an ice sculptor:
      McCool: All right, but you'll need a fake name. We'll call you... "Jinksy".
      Jimmy: [beat] What, "Asshole" was already taken?
  • Disappeared Dad: His father disappeared when he was 13, and it was widely believed he had been murdered by a rival mob. The Broadfather reveals that she was a closeted transexual who didn't want to risk humiliating her family if she was ever exposed, and left them to become a woman.
  • Formerly Fit: Was in pretty good shape until Cookie revealed her first pregnancy, at which point he gained more weight than she did.
  • Happily Married: To Cookie, most of the time. Compared to other marriages in adult sitcoms, they're top-tier.
  • Hidden Depths: After meeting his transgender father again, Jimmy reveals that he doesn't care one bit that his father is now a woman, his anger and resentment is due to the abandonment, nothing else. Considering how extremely conservative the Italian mob is, that's saying a lot.
    Jimmy: Nah, that's his friggin' business. Besides, what am I gonna do, change him back?
  • I Hate Past Me: Used to be a friendless virgin who loved musicals as a teenager. He briefly relapses after finding out that the woman he lost his virginity to, an experience that gave him the confidence to mature, was a hooker his father hired. Cheech threatens to blow his brains out if he starts singing again.
  • Papa Wolf: For all his kids, but especially Theresa, anyone who so much as looks at her the wrong way is in for a brutal beating at the very least. Completely justified, as she is underage and older men are less than subtle when it comes to attraction towards her. It is even revealed that the Don making lewd comments about her is what really caused Jimmy to throw him out the window.
  • Seduction-Proof Marriage: Jimmy has continually proven himself to be a loyal husband to Cookie, and has never cheated on her, despite what she previously thought. When he is hit on yet again by a Russian dancer he has been working with, he immediately stops her and retaliates that he's married.
  • Soul-Crushing Desk Job: As part of his witness protection identity, Jimmy works a mind-numbing desk job for Reginas Board of Tourism. Understandably, he hates every second.
  • The Stool Pigeon: Referred by this in the series itself, Jimmy is ashamed of ratting out the mob and is constantly told, especially by Gina, of how much of a no-good snitch he is.
  • Thrill Seeker: The thrill and danger of mob life is one of the things he misses most.

    Cookie Falcone 

Jimmy's irritable mob wife. She's a former stripper who met Jimmy while he was whacking someone at the strip club she worked at, but now lives as an ordinary suburban mom of three kids. A devout Catholic, she is perpetually dissatisfied with her new life as a Canadian housewife and misses the good old days when the family lived in the comfort and luxury provided by Jimmy's gangster job.


  • Balloon Belly: Briefly ends up with one in the 4th episode of Season 1 as Cookie raids Gina's confiscated candy. She still looks gorgeous despite the big belly.
  • Boob-Based Gag: Her huge breasts are often a source of gags, such as in "Cookie's Ovary Actin'" where her cleavage is able to swallow Jimmy's entire head. Another episode reveals she got a breast reduction surgery so they were even bigger at some point.
  • Buxom Beauty Standard: Her huge bust is the main reason why everyone's head over heels for her.
  • Even the Girls Want Her: Several women have put the moves on Cookie. One even kissed her, and had an orgasm while being touched by her.
  • Feminine Mother, Tomboyish Daughter: Her and Gina. She’s a feminine stripper-turned-housewife who loves shopping, cooking, and the performing arts, while Gina is a violent schoolyard bully who loves gangster movies and often threatens people with weapons when she doesn’t get her way.
  • Feminine Women Can Cook: Appropriately for someone named "Cookie", she's shown to be a pretty good cook, which ends up landing her a job as the head chef at a restaurant in "You Only Try Haggis Once".
  • Graceful Ladies Like Purple: Wears a purple pantsuit, and lived a life of luxury as a mob wife before being relocated.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Is naturally one by default thanks to her huge breasts and butt and being a former stripper, Cookie even puts her own daughter Theresa to shame, who's already one herself.
  • Only Known By Her Nickname: She's said that "Cookie" is just a nickname she gave herself when she started stripping, but we don't know what her real name is. This is later retconned later, when she says her real name is Cookie.
  • Phony Psychic: Becomes one of these after domestic boredom drives her to start a business at Jimmy's suggestion. Ironically, she's actually a believer in fortune-telling, having worked for a (probably also fake) psychic in Atlantic City as a teenager. She actually starts to believe she is a true psychic when her predictions come true (really the result of her family's manipulations to make her feel good about herself).
  • Small Town Boredom: Hates Regina even more than Jimmy does, as she's stuck inside the house all day, has virtually no social life, and can't even enjoy shopping or clubbing since Regina is such a small town.
  • Stage Mom: To Theresa while trying to get her into a talent show, and Gina, when trying to force her into the girl scouts.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: Though to be fair, they didn't start out this way, Jimmy just gained a lot of weight when Cookie first got pregnant.

    Uncle Cheech Falcone 
Voiced by: Chuck Shamata

Jimmy's uncle and best friend. He is a perverted, dimwitted alcoholic who gets into all sorts of dumb antics (usually as a result of Jimmy dragging him into his schemes). In fact, his stupidity is the whole reason the Falcone family is living in Canada under witness protection, as he was spilling Gambini crime family secrets that threatened to get him whacked. Because of this, most of the family doesn't like him, and even Jimmy has very limited patience for him.


  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: A lifetime of alcoholism and brain damage hasn't done him any favors.
  • Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: There's no doubt that he's a complete moron whose loose lips forced the family to go into witness protection. However, as the old saying goes "Beware of an old man in a profession where men usually die young". In "Havana Kill Castro", Cheech was with one other gang member when the two accidentally broke into a rival gang's nightclub. Cheech not only survived the fight, he was the only one unharmed during the entire gunfight. The fight was so famous, it was called the "Jimmy's Trip to Aruba Massacre".
  • Dirty Old Man: He bangs a lot of women and he actually killed the mayor when he was doing it with her.
    Cheech: "She died doing what she loved. Screwing the people!"
  • Malaproper: He commonly says one thing but means something else.
  • Nice Job Breaking It, Hero: The whole series wouldn’t have happened if he had kept his mouth shut about mob secrets.
  • Old Soldier: He's been in organized crime long before Jimmy was even born, and is still shown to be quite capable of holding his own in a fight.
  • Parental Substitute: Since Jimmy's dad left him at a young age, he's this for Jimmy (probably the main reason why Jimmy tolerates him).
  • Phony Veteran: Becomes one of these after he discovers that his cover identity had served in the Canadian Armed Forces during World War 2, and exploits it for cheap booze at the Veterans Hall.
  • Too Dumb to Live: Cheech nearly gets himself killed in almost every episode because of something stupid he did.

    Theresa Falcone 

The oldest child of the Falcone family at 17 years old. Ditzy, promiscuous, and lustful, she is the stereotypical super-attractive popular high school girl that every hormone-addled teenage boy wants a piece of. She shamelessly uses her gorgeous appearance to gain the favor of (and into bed with) every attractive guy she encounters.


  • All Women Love Shoes: "Effin' Neighbors, Eh?" has Gina offhandedly mention that she has attacked other women to get shoes that are on sale. She then shows a video of Theresa doing exactly this, head-slamming a bunch of girls against the wall to get the shoes.
  • Bare Midriffs Are Feminine: She wears a crop top as her default outfit.
  • Brainless Beauty: Theresa to a T. She even struggles to say basic words, like 'fraud' (which her 6-year-old sister can pronounce just fine). Her stunning beauty lets her get away with everything despite her lack of smarts.
  • Bratty Teenage Daughter: She acts like she doesn't get to do what she wants, even though she pretty much has it all. She even says "I hate you" to her parents multiple times when things don't go her way.
  • Gag Lips: She has the biggest and plumpest lips out of any of her family members, befitting her "boy-crazy popular girl" characterization.
  • Hormone-Addled Teenager: She's extremely boy-crazy (heck, she admits in the first episode that if a boy asked her to do something, she would do it), dresses in skimpy outfits, and "Vagina's Got Talent" reveals that she writes her own songs- which are all about sex. She even becomes a stripper much like her mom as part of her father's stripper business in "Horny Bastard", much to her father's horror in order to gain responsibility.
  • Lovable Alpha Bitch: Despite some typical bratty personality traits, it's clear she loves her family, like when she and Gina rip off the government and, for a time, the siblings become successful business owners. She also doesn't go out of her way to bully others (much).
  • Mafia Princess: She's the daughter of a mafia capo, and is as much of a Spoiled Brat as that entails.
  • Ms. Fanservice: She knows she's attractive and isn't ashamed to flaunt it. You can tell she definitely takes after Cookie's looks in terms of assets and personality. And like her mom Cookie, Theresa also ends up becoming a stripper like her very briefly.
  • Proud Beauty: She's sexy and she knows it. Like mother, like daughter indeed.
  • Really Gets Around: Much to her mother's horror. She's shown with countless men across the series, usually those trying to escape from her room to avoid her dad. This is exaggerated to the point that, after her father unknowingly crushes the boy hiding under her bed, she immediately calls up another to tell him that she is free tonight.
  • Screw the Rules, I'm Beautiful!: Invokes this many times to get away with everything from theft, fraud, and outright assault. She appears shocked the few times things don't go her way.
  • Teens Love Shopping: She mentions numerous times that she loves shopping, and usually asks for at least $500 to do it.
  • Vibrant Orange: Wears orange clothes, reflecting her perky and ditzy personality.

    Peter "Petey" Falcone 
Voiced by: Danny Smith

The only son and middle child of the Falcone family at 14 years old. He is a straight-A student, an eco-friendly activist, a pacifist, a strong believer in social justice, and a total nerd. Although seen as a total loser by his criminal family, he quite enjoys life in the Great White North and has adapted to it much better than any of them.


  • Badass Bookworm: Honestly, he has his moments. Sometimes accidentally, other times intentionally enough to confirm that he fits in after all.
  • The Chew Toy: Is constantly humiliated or wounded in some way by virtually everyone in town, including his own family. He always gets better, though.
  • Cool Big Bro: To Gina, who surprisingly admires him deeply in return. Half of the time. Particularly during the first season.
  • Granola Girl: A very rare male example, he's very aware and concerned about a host of social and environmental causes. In fact, in the first episode, he gets angry when people make a mockery of various social issues, leading to a brief but successful boxing career. When it comes to food, he is a vegetarian by choice, although he does genuinely have certain food sensitivities and allergies.
  • Homework Slave: Also serving as an Establishing Character Moment as his bullies threaten Petey to do this, yet he continues to refuse (even after they beat him up) because it is 'cheating'
  • Insufferable Genius: He’s the smartest of the family and often expects others to know as much as he does; he can be preachy at times.
  • Nervous Wreck: Can be rather excitable, neurotic, has Exhausted Eye Bags, and sweats profusely during his turn in debate club.
  • Nice Guy: A gentle, loving boy who usually averts the average Hypocrite trope, Petey wants everyone to live in peace and harmony. He may not fit in with his family or agree with their values, but he loves and respects them all the same.
  • Sibling Yin-Yang: Between Petey and Theresa. One is a popular bombshell and the other a socially awkward 'geeky nerd'; it's not hard to tell whose who.
  • Teen Genius: Has built robots, apps that detect how many calories are in food by scanning them, and even created a universe in a shoebox. Jimmy knows Petey might not be a fit for the family business but is confident that his son's brain will make him wealthy regardless.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Let’s just say he has a pretty weak stomach, no thanks to his 'gluten sensitivity'.

    Gina Falcone 
Voiced by: Linda Kash

The youngest daughter of the Falcone family. Although she's only 6 years old, she has fully embraced her father and uncle's gangster lifestyle, engaging in all the classic criminal activities from racketeering to whacking problem people to smuggling illegal substances. She also has the mean, ill-tempered, and violent attitude to go with it.


  • Adorably Precocious Child: Zig-Zagged; many adults don't take her seriously and call her 'cute' for acting mature (and this certainly doesn't last for long); yet at other times she is shown to be more innocent, more in line with an actual child.
  • Affection-Hating Kid: Finds kissing gross and, despite her seeming maturity, doesn't actually know where babies come from.
  • Ax-Crazy: Has plenty of this throughout the series. Two notable examples being her crazed demeanour when 'tenderising' meat as well as her mass-slaughter during a bank robbery when she was just a baby.
    "They moved."
  • The Baby of the Bunch: The youngest Falcone family member.
  • Balloon Belly: Ends up sporting a big one as part of the main plot point of "Layin, Some Pipeline" (Season 3, Episode 14) when Cookie and Theresa force feeds Gina every single candy bar in an effort to ban unhealthy vending machine snacks to prove to the town of Regina how unhealthy the snacks are to kids, before she gets too fat and ending up a size of a ball where it's gotten to the point she has to be carried via a crane. She uses said big belly to belly slam Theresa and later on a rival Fine Scout Girl's mom when she attempts to stop them.
  • Barbaric Bully: At school, she regularly beats up and gives wedgies to her classmates.
  • Big Eater: Forces herself to become this as part of the plot of "Layin, Some Pipeline" in order to ban unhealthy vending machines in Regina, Gina ends up very fat and round by the end of the episode.
  • Big Ol' Eyebrows: She has very big eyebrows.
  • Birds of a Feather: With Carmine; they are both Ax-Crazy children of mobsters who, as soon as they meet, take over the camp they are at and extort the others.
  • Blood Knight: Treats a No-Holds-Barred Beatdown like it's a game of tag.
  • Cover Innocent Eyes and Ears: Cookie does this to her when the parody of Say Yes to the Dress turns out to be a porno.
  • Cute and Psycho: In the beginning at least she had more innocent traits befitting a 7-year-old, with many adults not taking her seriously and calling her 'cute'. As the trope implies, this didn't last long.
  • Daddy's Girl: Jimmy is so proud of her criminal mind, and she looked up to him before he ratted out his fellow gang members.
  • Deadpan Snarker: She's the snarkiest member of the family.
  • Enfant Terrible: Demonstrates extremely unnerving behaviour bordering on psychotic for much of the series, fitting for a Gangsta's daughter.
  • Early Personality Signs: Flashbacks show her aggressive nature is very much innate, from having to wear a restraining mask matching that of Hannibal Lecter to somehow murdering an entire bank crowd.
  • Feminine Mother, Tomboyish Daughter: Her and her mother Cookie. While Cookie is a feminine stripper-turned-housewife who loves shopping, cooking, and the performing arts, Gina is a violent schoolyard bully who loves gangster movies and often threatens people with weapons when she doesn’t get her way.
  • Fiery Redhead: She's the most violent and temperamental member of the cast, and she has red hair.
  • Flanderization: She gradually loses her innocent traits and slowly morphs into a violent Enfant Terrible who disrespects even Jimmy, who is shown to be afraid of her.
  • Free-Range Children: Strolls around town causing havoc and even mentioning a 'side-business' she attends to frequently.
  • Girlish Pigtails: Wears these permanently.
  • Like Parent, Like Child: She takes after her father a bit too much.
  • Little Miss Badass: Very, very proficient in fighting in spite of her young age.
  • Little Miss Con Artist: Her off-screen pursuits heavily imply this, as well as when she and Theresa scammed the town with a 'ghost-removal' business.
  • Mature Younger Sibling: At least compared to Theresa; she can actually enunciate properly and knows clever crime tactics.
  • Pink Means Feminine: Her winter clothes are pink, as is the interior of her bedroom. Due to her personality, it overlaps with Psycho Pink.
  • Puppy Love: With Carmine, justified as they both have the mentalities of middle-aged mobsters. (Despite this, neither know what 'making out' is).
  • Tomboy with a Girly Streak: Despite her very rambunctious nature, she always wears a skirt and has been shown to enjoy watching Say Yes to the Dress with Theresa.
  • Troubling Unchildlike Behaviour: Is very much Daddy's Girl when it comes to all things crime.
  • Youthful Freckles: She's the only member of the Falcone family with freckles.

Saskatchewan Residents

    Special Agent Strait McCool 
Voiced by: Ted Atherton

A Royal Canadian Mounted Police officer assigned to oversee the Falcone family's life in Regina under witness protection. Unlike the Falcones, he is an upright citizen and a proud Canadian who always walks on the straight and narrow. As you may have guessed, this lovable goody-two-shoes is always looking out for Jimmy and Uncle Cheech, especially when he has to keep their latest scheme from blowing their cover or getting them into even more trouble than usual. He's almost always accompanied by his mount, a horse named... Horse.


  • The Ace: Intelligent, handsome, skilled in everything from crime solving to hunting to crafts, athletic, a huge hit with women, and well-endowed. In fact, his sole flaw is his horrible gambling problem, which he struggles with to this day.
  • By-the-Book Cop: He's willing to bend the rules in some cases, but for the most part, he's a strict officer of the law.
  • Captain Ersatz: He is a parody of the Canadian Mountie Dudley Do-Right from Rocky and Bullwinkle in the segment "Dudley Do-Right and the Mounties", right down to his voice and a horse named Horse.
  • Character Catchphrase: His catchphrase seems to be "For Canada, where..." ending by mentioning something relating to one of the plots of an episode.
  • Gag Penis: He even fought for the right not to have to wear underpants because of it.
  • Pink Is Erotic: After procuring a large gambling debt, he poses nude in a magazine with a large star covering his genitals. The magazine he stars in is colored pink and when Jimmy opens the book, it unfolds to show his full nudity (much to the intimidation of Jimmy and excitement of Cookie).
  • Precision F-Strike: While there is plenty of swearing in the series itself, McCool hardly ever does so, making it more notable when he swears in front of Carmine and throws a lamp at him.
    Carmine: "Hey, you're not Cheech!"
    McCool: "No shit, you little monster!"
  • What the Hell, Hero?: Is absolutely furious with Jimmy after Jimmy gets him fired and ostracized by the whole community due to a misunderstanding making Jimmy think he slept with Theresa, even after Jimmy found out the truth and got everything cleared up. It wasn't the consequences that bothered him as much as Jimmy still not trusting him after all this time and thinking he'd do something like that.

    Horse 

McCool's loyal stead, a horse named Horse. Seemingly has been with McCool since childhood and stuck with him through thick and thin. At times he acts more human than horse, and can have an... interesting relationship with his mountie.


    Richard Wheatthin 
Voiced by: Alan Thicke, Jonathon Wilson

A local billionare and inventor who crosses paths with the Falcone's/McDougal's and screws them over continually.


  • Gadgeteer Genius: Invents robots of himself and jet packs, among other things. Petey looks up to him as a role model and wants to join his company.

The Old Life

    Don Gambini 
Voiced by: ?

The mob boss of the Gambini crime family Jimmy kills, setting the series events in motion. Despite being dead before the series begins, some of his personality, as well as what really led to Jimmy pushing him out the window, can be seen through the show's cold opens.


  • Asshole Victim: He was the mob boss of the Gambini crime family and Jimmy killed him in a fit of anger after Don Gambini made a sexual remark about Theresa. The crime family even admits that although they still have to punish Jimmy for killing the don, they respect him for killing a high-ranked mobster like Gambini. The only person who is affected by is death is his son, Carlos, who wanted to avenge him.
  • Death by Irony: He orders a hit on Cheech Falcone for revealing mob secrets, only for Gambini to be killed by Jimmy for unwisely revealing his lust for Theresa.
  • Death by Origin Story: Jimmy killed Gambini in a fit of anger after the latter had unwisely made a sexual remark about Theresa, Jimmy's eldest daughter. After realizing what he'd done, Jimmy is forced to go into witness protection in exchange for betraying the mob to the feds.
  • Dirty Old Man: He made a sexual remark about Theresa, who was either 16 or 17 at the time.
  • The Don: In both name and title.
    Cheech: "If he wanted, he could call himself Don Don. Which I would do, I mean, how cool would that be?"
  • Hot Guy, Ugly Wife: Don Gambini and his wife. Don Gambini was a well-built middle-aged man, while his wife looked like a hairy-armed Lumberjack in a dress.
  • Juggling Loaded Guns: Don Gambini gets 'jumpy' when he drinks too much. Exaggerated when he kills nearly everyone at his surprise party, only just missing his wife when the gun jams. Doesn't stop him from trying to shoot her though.
  • Karmic Death: What really drove Jimmy to kill Don Gambini, in the end, was the latter making a sexual comment on Jimmy's 16-year-old daughter. And he is the boss of an underground criminal organization, of course...
  • Lethal Klutz: Described as such by Jimmy, and shown where Jimmy goes to call off the hit on Cheech. In the span of 10 seconds, he nearly gets eaten by a lion and electrocuted twice.
  • The Other Darrin: It's assumed that in the few appearances Don Gambini makes, his voice actor changes. His voice goes from a nasally tone to a deeper, gruffer voice later.
  • Plot-Triggering Death: It was his murder by Jimmy that sets off the entire plot of the series.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: He's only shown in the opening jokes and in the intro to the show, yet he is the entire reason why the Falcones had to go into Witness Protection.
  • We Hardly Knew Ye: The only information available about him is through the various intros to the show and his own son who desired vengeance over his father's death.

    Carlo 'Carmine' Gambini 
Voiced by: Willem Wennekers
The son of Don Gambini, he is seeking to avenge his father's death by killing Jimmy Falcone (or the next best option, Cheech). However, things don't go quite according to plan.
  • Ax-Crazy: As the son of a Don, what do you expect? Also serves to emphasise his Birds of a Feather with Gina.
  • Birds of a Feather: With Gina. Two psychos who get along just swell!
  • Creepy Child: Apparently he has the same 'psychotic spark' in his eye as his father.
  • Enfant Terrible
  • Free-Range Children: To the extent he can take a cab all the way from Brooklyn to Saskatchewan with no reference to his mother.
  • It's Personal: In true mob fashion, he seeks revenge against the Falcones for the murder of his father.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: 'Carmine' could have easily been his actual name and he is only ever referred to as such in the series, with no mention of another name. Despite this, according to official sources his name is actually 'Carlo'.
  • Rugged Scar: Has a noticeable yet unexplained scar above his eye to highlight his danger.
  • You Killed My Father: His motive for tracking down the Falcones.

    Sally Manero 
Voiced by: ?

Used to be Sal Falcone, Jimmy's father who we meet in 'The Broadfather', who is revealed to have undergone gender reassignment surgery and is living a new life as Sally Manero. Jimmy is not so bothered by this as his father's abandonment of him as a child.


  • Daddy Had a Good Reason for Abandoning You: Sally justifies her previous abandonment of Jimmy by bringing up the valid point that the mob would have knocked the Falcone's out of the family had they found out about her sex change, and Jimmy never would have gotten anywhere.
  • Disappeared Dad: To Jimmy, who spends her starring episode mad at his father for this reason.
  • Trans Tribulations: Transitioning ultimately left Sally to abandon her family for their own sake, to keep them in the mob business. To many's surprise, the episode does not make any crass jokes on Jimmy's father becoming a woman, and has in fact been praised for handling the topic very tactfully. The central conflict is instead focused on Jimmy's abandonment as a child.
  • Sobriquet Sex Switch: 'Sal' became 'Sally'.


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