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The character sheet for Dr. Crafty.

All spoilers for Seasons 1 and 2 will be unmarked. Read at your own risk.


Main Characters

    Doctor Crafty 
Doctor Crafty
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crafty.png
Click to see him in his youth 
Voiced by: Alex Tansley

The titular Villain Protagonist of the show. Not much is known about his past, except that he failed art college and started his YouTube series so he can Take Over the World...somehow.

  • Absurd Phobia: He's afraid of Blob Monsters because he was scarred for life by Mr. Blobby.
    • And when Merry makes him do art involving Mr. Blobby in the first Patreon episode, Crafty desperately (and repeatedly) tries to end the episode.
    • His fear of Blobby is so bad that even Nurse wearing giant googly eyes is enough to scare him.
  • Alliterative Name: Colin Crafterson.
  • Affably Evil: Frequently zig-zags between this and Faux Affably Evil, but in the end he can be a nice person, in a Jerk with a Heart of Gold kind of way.
  • Badass Longcoat: He sports a long labcoat that reaches to the floor. It also doubles as a Badass Cape for when he decided to get serious against Bakura.
  • Bad Boss: He frequently mistreats the zombies minions, especially taking advantage of the fact they don't know how to go on strike.
  • Bad Liar: In Episode 33, he claimed he had to take a break because a Greninja injured his spleen, but neither Nurse nor Darksilvania bought it, knowing Crafty just wanted to take a nap instead.
  • Berserk Button: Whatever you do, don't mention Banjo-Kazooie: Nuts & Bolts to him.
    • You also shouldn't mention Yu-Gi-Oh! ZEXAL or the Link Monsters system, or he'll go on a rant that will last a while if uninterrupted.
  • Big "WHAT?!": The only reaction Crafty can muster when Merry decides to add conflict to her script by introducing a Love Triangle between Crafty, Nurse and Molly.
  • Brain Bleach: Nurse talking about anatomy drawing classes causes Crafty to recall when he was in art college. He was scarred by the sight of a model taking off his robe... while in the background two apples are positioned next to a banana.
    • In Episode 41, he yells for bleach after witnessing some of the more...animatedly grotesque attempts to render breasts.
  • Camp Straight: One look at the doctor and the word 'flamboyant' comes to mind. Nurse even mentions how she gets Crafty's sexuality confused sometimes thanks to his mannerisms.
  • Cannot Tell Fiction from Reality: Crafty's been playing The Legend of Zelda: Breath of the Wild so much that he frequently daydreams about being in Hyrule.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: He makes it no secret that he's a maniacal genius, even correcting the Pokemon narrator when he accidentally referred to Crafty as a hero.
  • Catchphrase: "Oh, bollocks!", "Confound it!" and "Roll for Dragon!". In the Top 10 Tub episodes, it seems to be "Cut, cut, cut!".
    • Interestingly, in Episode 1, Crafty attempted to choose a catchphrase. He went with "Let's Get Crafty!" (an altered version of which starts most of the episode descriptions), since his original choice, "Watch my show or I'll come to your house and genetically fuse you to your bathtub!", wasn't really marketable.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: He definitely has his moments, like how he needs to read childrens books to tell the difference between a donkey and a rhino.
  • Delayed "Oh, Crap!": It took him nearly a minute to realize Nurse was possessed by Bakura, and even then he doesn't react to it until he's banished to the Shadow Realm.
  • Do Not Call Me "Paul": He briefly had this reaction when Nurse called him Colin, but he quickly collected himself and apologized to her.
  • Driven to Suicide: His younger self tried this by leaping off a cliff. Fortunately, he was saved by Sasha and recovered from this mindset.
  • Emo Teen: What he was in his past. He got better, though.
  • Everyone Has Standards: While he has a preference for women with voluptuous figures, he draws the line at unrealistic Gag Boobs, especially when they're Gainaxing.
  • Evil Brit: To hammer the point home, a British flag appears in the background when Crafty makes a Rousing Speech about the importance of first drafts.
  • Fat and Skinny: The skinny to Nurse's fat.
  • Fainting: Of the Girly Man variety, minus the screaming. He does this after being frightened by the Furry Fandom, only recovering after Nurse tells him someone donated $1000 to his Patreon.
  • Genius Ditz: He's not exactly the sharpest tool in the shed, but when it comes to talking about pop-culture franchises he likes, he's surprisingly quite knowledgable.
  • Given Name Reveal: Colin, as revealed in Episode 35's flashback. His full name was also revealed in Episode 50: Colin Alexander Crafterson.
  • The Glasses Come Off: He took off his goggles before confronting Ring Nurse, helping to signify that he wasn't playing around anymore.
  • Goggles Do Something Unusual: Crafty wears Google Goggles, which lets him search for reference pictures with voice commands. He decides to switch to Bing after leaving Safe Search off once too many.
  • Inelegant Blubbering: Crafty gets this way when brought up about his favorite Digimon, Wizardmon.
  • I Just Want to Have Friends: A Type B version. This was reason he tried to commit suicide in his youth. He eventually made friends with Sasha, and later got some more friends thanks to the show's other hosts.
  • Informed Attribute: With the possible exception of implanting the audience's computers and phones with mind control devices and allegedly grave robbing, Crafty hasn't done anything particularly villainous so far.
    • Ironically, Crafty leaves most of his guest characters in a storage unit, where they need to eat each other to survive. It would knock him right out of this trope if he were actually doing it on purpose.
    • It's also possible he's responsible for the Pokemon narrator getting shot.
    • He was also shown to willingly sacrifice the souls of YouTube commenters without hesitation for the sole purpose of making the show more popular. He only gets out of this because the souls were later returned.
    • He's also entertained the idea of mutating puppies, chemically halting children's development and once attempted to saw off Nurse's hands to create an Ultra-Hand-inspired ARMS character. There's a lot going on in that twisted brain of his.
  • Iron Butt Monkey: Crafty takes a lot of punishment throughout the course of the series, but usually comes out none the worse for wear.
  • It's All About Me: Being the host of the show has given Crafty quite an ego. He claims his opinion is superior to others and won't let others talk about subjects in detail for him just because it's his show.
    • When comparing the images of everyone in swimsuits, he flat-out declares the image of himself to be better than his co-hosts.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While most of Crafty's Pet the Dog moments are quicking followed by him doing something that undermines them or renders them moot, he does genuinely care for his friends. He is genuinely touched by their attempts to make him feel better, and he even apologizes to Nurse for taking advantage of her.
  • Lame Pun Reaction: He usually reacts to bad puns with either a stern glance or by sending something after the person who made the pun.
  • Large Ham: Crafty can get quite into it, especially with his maniacal laughter.
  • Laughably Evil: While it's debatable how evil he really is, there's no denying the shenanigans he causes are hilarious.
  • Lean and Mean: He's pencil-thin, and is a Card-Carrying Villain to boot.
  • Mad Scientist: Naturally.
  • Manchild: Nurse once joked that Crafty was "twenty-nine going on nine". She's not wrong.
  • Megaton Punch: Despite lacking a muscular physique, he’s able to perform an uppercut strong enough to launch people into the stratosphere.
  • Minor Injury Overreaction: He's left overreacting after Mario grazes him with a gunshot wound, tearfully requesting a glow-in-the-dark band-aid for it.
  • Morally Ambiguous Doctorate: His PhD was earned legitimately. Just not by him. And it's in viticulture (the study of grapes) of all things.
  • Never My Fault: He claims he's not responsible for planning a beach vacation or forgetting to bring sunscreen, but of course, he is.
  • Nice to the Waitress: Crafty met Pepper when she was working as a waitress (in a seafood restaurant, no less). He noticed she was miserable working there, so Crafty decided to hire Pepper for her dream job as a chef.
  • Oblivious to Love: Dr. Crafty himself doesn't seem to notice Nurse Worse's clear affections for him most of the time. Sometimes, he is focused on other women of similar fashion of Nurse Worse.
    • When asked about Nurse's attraction on Curious Cat, Crafty responded he had no idea what they were talking about.
  • Oh, Crap!: In Episode 19, he has this reaction to the discovery that the trick-or-treaters dressed up as witches on Halloween aren't actually witches. It's definitely justified in that he apparently used them to "keep the fireplace warm" (read: used them as kindle).
  • Old Flame: To Sasha. Despite them being separated for fifteen years, he still has romantic feelings for her.
  • Only in It for the Money: While initially hesitant to let Merry co-host the first Patreon episode, he later changes his mind when he hears he'll get paid for doing the episode (complete with dollar sign Wingding Eyes for added emphasis).
  • The Pirates Who Don't Do Anything: Despite being a self-proclaimed diabolical scientist, he never does any real schemes, plotting or any supervillain-related activities. He just seems content with doing his webseries.
  • Plot Armor: Episode 38 reveals this is the reason Crafty can take so much pain, although it didn't protect him from being char-broiled by the Divine Beasts' lasers.
  • Pungeon Master: Yes. He loves his puns, he does.
  • Screw the Rules, I Make Them!: Even though he and Nurse tied for the final Death Debate score, he thought he could change it to make himself the winner, just because he's the host.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: He threatened to quit if Nurse did another "Sister Suffrage" joke, even though he couldn't quit because it's his show.
  • Seen It All: He's seen so many weird things throughout the series that the sudden appearance from Team Rocket in Episode 34 doesn't even faze him.
  • Small Name, Big Ego: Even though Nurse admits Crafty's not exactly a household name, he thinks that everyone will soon recognize him aside from just being "that guy who does Linkara's title cards".
  • Sore Loser: He just couldn't accept Yugi was defeated by Sakura in the Death Debate, and claimed himself the winner by default just so he and Nurse wouldn't be tied.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: He claims he doesn't watch Glee, instead saying he watches the commercials in between.
  • Third Eye: One appears right before he finishes off Bakura. This may be a side-effect of his relation with Sasha, but it's currently unknown.
  • Token Evil Teammate: Downplayed as he's not exactly that evil, but he the only member of the cast who's proud of being a self-proclaimed supervillain.
  • Too Dumb to Live: He made several bad ink puns despite knowing full well that Nurse would hurt him for doing so.
  • Took a Level in Badass: Thanks to the combined efforts of Sasha and the co-hosts, he was able to defeat Ring Nurse in a completely one-sided battle.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: Starting with Season 3, he decided not to take advantage of his friends anymore became more openly friendly to them.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: According to Curious Cat, McDonald's.
  • Trauma Button: Played for Laughs. The mere mention of life-drawing class causes him to flashback to seeing the naked model in art college.

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    Nurse Worse 
Nurse Worse
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/nurse_7.png
Voiced by: Megami33

The main co-host of the show. Dr. Crafty hired her as his lab assistant, and she's ironically far more knowledgeable on drawing tips than he is.

  • Action Girl: She has the best fighting ability out of all the characters, as many unfortunate victims would attest to.
  • Affably Evil: Aside from working with Crafty, there's nothing villainous about Nurse, mainly because she could hardly be considered a villain at all.
  • Anguished Declaration of Love: In Episode 51, she softly says to Crafty that she loves him. Crafty didn't catch what she said and asked her to repeat it, but she denied saying anything and proceeds to punch Crafty in the face.
  • Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: She got distracted by the diamonds on Mega-Steelix's body, requiring Crafty and Darksilvania to chase her down and get her back on track.
  • Badass Adorable: She's cute, quirky, and very skilled at hand-to-hand combat.
  • Bathing Beauty: Nurse apparently takes multiple formaldehyde baths a day (since, well, she's a patchwork made of dead body parts and the formaldehyde prevents her from rotting). She has appeared with just a towel on more than once.
  • Berserk Button: Certain things Crafty does — like using his d20 die against her, interrupting her, and calling his Rhino Pokémon a donkey — are enough to make Nurse go ballistic.
    • In an example not related to Crafty, she gets furious when talking about people who draw breasts in an unrealistic way.
  • Big Beautiful Woman: Nurse Worse is quite hefty, but is no less attractive for it, mismatched green skin aside.
    • Her weight is first acknowledged twenty episodes in, as a reason for her not being affected by the freezing cold.
  • Big Eater: According to Crystelle, Nurse devours dozens of double-A batteries on a daily basis.
  • Big Fun: The "Big" part was already a given, and the "Fun" part comes from her bright and cheerful personality.
  • Bi the Way: When Crafty catches Nurse oogling the Gijinka Salazzle he's just drawn, she bluntly answers, "What? She's hot!"
    • Nurse also shows attraction to the Sanderson Sisters despite being oblivious to their malicious intentions.
    • She also finds herself aroused when Messibelle suggests taking Nurse to her room for some "good clean fun".
  • Break the Cutie: Once her Repressed Memories of her mother Mindstein were brought back by Bill Cipher invading her mind, she broke out into terrified tears because of all the terror inflicted on her.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: While she has a crush on Crafty, she's afraid to admit it to the others. Messibelle is the only one who knows Nurse's true feelings to him.
  • Catchphrase: A probable one is "Here's a useful tip!".
  • Cloudcuckoolander's Minder: She constantly has to deal with the antics and delusional grandeur of Crafty.
  • Clingy Jealous Girl: Downplayed and non-romantic example. While she eventually warmed up to Pepper and Messibelle, she was not too pleased with being on the show at first, proclaiming herself to be "best girl".
  • Cute Monster Girl: She's basically an adorable parody of Frankenstein's Monster.
    • She even called out this trope by name in Episode 28, citing it as the reason she's frequently objectified in commissioned artwork.
  • Cuteness Proximity: She reacted this way upon seeing Crafty's Fakémon starters. And while she was initially disappointed with getting the Water-Type, she grew to love it because it was so cute.
  • Demonic Possession: Near the end of the second season, she gets possessed by the Millennium Ring.
  • Fat and Proud: She’s grown more comfortable with her weight thanks to her popularity with fans. Doesn’t stop Crafty from making fat jokes at her expense, though.
  • Fat and Skinny: The fat to Crafty's skinny.
  • Fear of Thunder: She really doesn't like the lightning effects Crafty uses in his episodes. Doubles as an Ironic Fear considering what she uses electricity for...
  • Genius Bruiser: Her brawn is matched by her brains, and she's got plenty of both to spare.
  • Genki Girl: She has her moments, especially whenever she's featured in artwork.
  • G-Rated Drug: Nurse apparently racks up high power bills by applying electricity to her bolts, excusing it as being for "medicinal purpose". Her addiction even got her banned from certain auto-part stores.
    • With Nurse dressing up as Sandy at the end of Episode 21, she is holding a battery in place of a cigarette.
    • In the first Patreon-sponsored episode, Nurse is unable to host the episode due to attending a meeting for "Electroholics Anonymous".
  • Given Name Reveal: Her real name is Greta, though she doesn't recognize it at first.
  • Gratuitous Japanese: She does this in Episode 30 right before JoJo punching Gilgamesh.
  • Has a Type: If her lustful reactions to the Magician of Black Chaos and Crafty convey, her intrest in men seems to fall under the Tall, Dark, and Handsome category.
  • The Heart: Whenever Crafty or the others are feeling terrible, she tries her best to listen to them and take care of them, no matter how hard it is.
  • Hospital Hottie: Nurse Worse has been established as being quite gorgeous both in-universe and in real life.
  • Hyper-Competent Sidekick: She seems far more knowledgeable about the ins and outs of the art process than Crafty is.
  • Hypocrite: On two seperate occassions she physically attacks Crafty for continuously making puns. Then caps it off with a pun of her own.
  • I'll Be in My Bunk: She quotes this line verbatim when Crafty said she could write fan-fiction about him, and again when seeing an image of the Magician of Black Chaos.
  • Imagined Innuendo: Nurse gets aroused when the Sanderson Sisters talk about their desire to "eat" her, unaware that their true intention is they want to consume her soul.
  • It's All My Fault: She considered the events of The Foreshadow Game to be her fault, as she was the one that opened the package the Millennium Ring was in.
  • Jerkass Realization: The events of The Foreshadow Game revealed problems from Crafty's past that she didn't know, and it caused her to see him as more than a whiny manchild. As such, she's apologized for how she treated him in the past, and vows to treat him with more respect and be a better friend.
  • "Just Joking" Justification: Nurse claimed the only way to purchase the alternate armors in Breath of the Wild was to sell Crafty's Nintendo Switch. This made Crafty angry until Nurse told him it was a joke.
  • M.D. Envy: She has a PhD in psychology, but is unsure if she should be called "Doctor Worse" because of it. Crafty shoots down that idea because he doesn't want to pay her a doctor's salary.
  • Meganekko: She wears glasses, and is no less attractive for it.
  • Non-Indicative Name: Despite her name, she seems reasonably competent at her job.
  • Not So Above It All: Despite normally being The Straight Man to Crafty's Cloud Cuckoolander, there are a few moments where it's the other way around. A prime example being when she wanted to use the electric shock machine from episode 41. When Crafty refused to let her have it, she acted like a child who's been denied sweets.
  • Nice Girl: No matter what happens, she'll always make sure to show kindness to her fellow co-hosts.
  • Perverse Sexual Lust: She has a crush on Maleficent.
  • Pint-Sized Powerhouse: While she is the shortest character in the cast, she's also the strongest.
  • Rage Breaking Point: Crafty is constantly annoying or frustrating her, but it takes thirteen episodes for him to prompt her into physically attacking him.
  • Screw This, I'm Outta Here!: The fourth Chara-Cafe shows that when confronted by several Drop-In Characters invading the lab, she just backs away slowly and leaves.
  • Shameless Fanservice Girl: Seeing herself in Not Safe for Work fan-art is a guilty pleasure for her.
  • Silent Treatment: She gave this to Crafty in Episode 29 due to him constantly interrupting Nurse.
  • Stout Strength: Despite Nurse's weight, she frequently works out and knows how to throw a decent JoJo Punch.
  • Talk to the Fist: Whenever Crafty annoys or insults Nurse, her immediate reaction usually involves punching him in the face.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: According to Curious Cat, battery acid.
  • Virgin Power: She's able to summon the Sanderson Sisters by lighting the Black Flame Candle. When Crafty asked if she was a virgin after he failed to light the candle, she embarrassingly responds that it's none of his business.
  • You Are Fat: She’s often insulted this way by Crafty.

Spin-Off Hosts

    Pepper 
Pepper
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/pepper_5.png
Voiced by: Katy Johnson

A humanoid octopus girl who serves as a chef in Crafty's kitchen. She's the co-host of the Season 2 spin-off Crafty's Chara-Cafe.

  • Adorkable: Soft voice? Check. Upbeat personality? Check. Somewhat shy? Check. Cute smile? Check. Yep, she definitely oozes this trope.
  • Ambiguous Situation: She's unsure whether she's more human or octopus, and also doesn't know if she has Zora or Octarian DNA. She might also have the DNA of other sea creatures as well.
  • Apologises a Lot: She tends to get this way when something goes wrong.
  • Asexuality: She states in Episode 8 of Chara-Cafe that she's asexual.
  • Balloon Belly: She inflates like a puffer fish when under threat of injury or stress, as seen in episode 4 of Chara-Cafe.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Her shirt exposes a lot of her belly, with her apron only covering her bellybutton.
  • Berserk Button: Surprisingly, she'll get frustrated if someone refers to anime as a "Japanese cartoon".
  • Big Beautiful Woman: She has a plump, pot-bellied figure and is the fattest girl of the cast, but is still absolutely adorable regardless.
  • Big Eater: She can eat three dozen bags of cheese puffs in under a minute.
  • Bizarre Alien Biology: Like a real octopus, she has a mantle. Instead of containing her vital organs, however, her mantle contains an ink sack and a water tank, the latter of which allows her to live on land.
  • Bring My Brown Pants: She involuntarily inks herself whenever she gets really nervous, something that Nurse finds out when she slips on her ink puddle.
  • Chameleon Camouflage: She can blend into her environment like a real octopus, although her clothes remain unaffected.
  • Chubby Chef: Crafty explained on Curious Cat that this was the reason he knew Pepper would be a good chef, claiming it was "a gut feeling".
  • Cuteness Proximity: In contrast to Messibelle's more sexual reaction to her chibi self, Pepper's reaction to her own chibi was to jump for joy at how cute it is.
  • The Cutie: She's arguably the cutest of Crafty's cast of characters.
  • Does Not Like Spam: The only thing she can't cook is seafood. Considering what she is though, that's perfectly understandable...
  • Don't Look at Me!: She dislikes being in public places because she doesn't want people to stare at her.
  • Establishing Character Moment: The first time we see Pepper in the Update Video, she's hiding herself behind Crafty and acts embarrassed after he introduces her.
  • Fat Girl: She has some aspects of this due to her self-conscious nature.
  • Fish Person: Well, Octopus Person in her case, but still...
  • Gentle Giant: She's the largest character (in terms of both height and weight), and is very sweet.
  • Grew a Spine: Starting with Season 3, her timid nature was toned down while her confidence was boosted. While she still remains soft-spoken, she's far less camera-shy than she used to be and even stood up for herself on a few occasions.
  • Jiggle Physics: Because of her soft skin and all the fluids she retains, her body jiggles whenever she moves.
  • Mundane Utility: She never really uses her ink for defensive purposes. Instead, she uses it as ingredients in her cooking.
  • Nice Girl: Despite her shy demeanor, she treats everyone around her with kindness and respect.
  • The Noseless: She doesn't have a nose, requiring her to taste-test everything she cooks.
  • Not Quite Flight: She can launch herself into the air by coiling her legs and shooting a stream of ink below her.
  • Occidental Otaku: She enjoys watching anime (well, good anime), so much so that she gets frustrated whenever someone compares them to Western cartoons in any way. While she eventually grew to like Western cartoons as well, she personally prefers watching anime instead.
  • Punny Name: Her name definitely fits her profession. The others even made plenty of puns based around her name.
  • Pursue the Dream Job: She was unhappy with her old job as a waitress in a seafood restaurant. Instead, her dream job was to be a chef, something she finally achieved after meeting Crafty.
  • Reluctant Fanservice Girl: She prefers not to wear a swimsuit, thinking it would draw too much attention to herself.
  • Ridiculously Cute Critter: Pepper's pet sea cucumber, Pickles.
  • Serious Business: She takes table manners very seriously.
  • Shrinking Violet: She's rather shy, usually taking a while before appearing on camera.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She stands at over seven feet, making her the tallest of the hosts.
  • Sweet Tooth: She really enjoys eating candy, even taking some of Crafty's after hers was stolen.
  • Team Chef: Crafty hired her so he'd stop having to eat Hot Pockets every night.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: While she prefers to eat any kind of food, she has a particular taste for pasta. Also, her favorite fast food restaurant is Wendy's.
  • The Unintelligible: Pickles is only able to communicate by blowing raspberries, although Pepper seems to understand what he's saying.
  • Victoria's Secret Compartment: The Chara-Cafe intro shows Pepper pulling a cooking ingredient out of her bosom.
  • Wardrobe Malfunction: The main reason she doesn't wear pants is the fact that they tore when she tried them on.

    Messibelle 
Messibelle
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/messible.png
Voiced by: ToxicSoul77

A slime maid who lives and cleans in Crafty's bathroom. She's the co-host of the Season 2 spin-off Crafty's Top Ten Tub.

  • Anything That Moves: When it comes to showing her affection, she certainly doesn't discriminate. In fact, the first Top 10 episode has her drooling over a demoness, a cyclops, and a spider woman, just to name a few examples.
    • Not even Pokémon are safe from her lustful gaze, as seen through her flirting with Tsareena.
    • She does have standards, though, as she reacts with clear disgust to drag queens.
  • Berserk Button: The topic of Stockholm Syndrome. Mention it at your own risk.
  • Broomstick Quarterstaff: She's frequently depicted using a mop as a weapon.
  • Butt-Monkey: Not overtly so, but there are quite a few jokes taken at her expense, such as when she thought she was being replaced with a robot, or when Nurse joked that she sold her to pay for alternate Breath Of The Wild armors and Crafty didn't care. There's also the time when she accidentally hit Nurse with a mop, and she retaliated by punching Messi in the face.
  • Casual Kink: She's not shy about how sexual she is and will often commend something that appeals to her fetishes, even if it squicks out the others.
  • Characterization Marches On: Towards the end of the second season, her sexual tendencies were toned down slighty, putting more emphasis on her energetic personality.
  • Distracted by the Sexy: Almost all the time.
  • The Ditz: She's not exactly the brightest of the hosts, even more so than Crafty.
  • Double Entendre: She tends to drop a lot of innuendos whenever she's aroused by someone.
  • Establishing Character Moment: She's introduced in the Update Video excited to finally be on screen, eventually pressing her face against the camera and teasing the audience.
  • Exotic Eye Designs: Her pupils are shaped like hearts. They even change into broken hearts whenever she's mad or upset.
  • French Maid Outfit: Episode 29 reveals that her outfit helps prevent Crafty from thinking about his worst nightmare when in her presence.
  • Gasshole: She burps when her body is carbonated. She can also belch the lyrics of the Bohemian Rhapsody.
  • Genki Girl: She's very excitable with a bubbly personality.
  • Hartman Hips: Her hips are wider than her shoulders.
  • Ideal Illness Immunity: She's immune to every disease since her slime kills all germs that it encounters.
  • Irony: Most of the mess she cleans up comes from the trail of slime she leaves behind her.
  • I Need a Freaking Drink: Her predicament of being banished to the Shadow Realm with the other co-hosts led to her wanting a beer to drink.
  • Lady Swears-a-Lot: Even though her expletives are censored, she has sweared on the show more than anyone else combined.
  • Lipstick Lesbian: Every character she's flirted with has been female.
  • Lovable Sex Maniac: She always acts horny in every on-screen appearance she makes, but she's kind and helpful around the lab regardless.
  • Married to the Job: She's quite dedicated to her job as a maid, even getting emotional when she thought Crafty was going to replace her.
  • Naked First Impression: Crafty gave Messibelle her maid outfit since she was naked when he first created her.
  • Oblivious to Love: Yes. Seriously. Even someone as love-crazy as Messibelle can't pick up Serena's obvious affection for her!
  • O.O.C. Is Serious Business: While she's normally excitable and perky, she expressed some concern for Nurse Worse after what happened in The Foreshadow Game.
  • Perverse Sexual Lust: She has a special crush on all the Disney Princesses.
  • Polyamory: She wants to get married to as many women as possible.
  • Porn Names: Apparently, her porn nickname is "Sloppy Suzy".
  • Precision F-Strike: Episode 36 features Messibelle calling the Great Mighty Poo "a little shit", only to immediately apologise for swearing since this is (mostly) a family-friendly show.
  • Pungeon Master: She has her moments with making non-sexual puns, such as the time she caused a pun overload around Shovel Knight in the third Top 10 Tub.
  • Rubber Woman: Her slimy body allows her to stretch in any position she wants.
  • Screw Yourself: She lusted for her own chibi drawing in Episode 40, and then attempted to make her own clone with the intent of having sex with herself.
  • Shipper on Deck: She thinks of Dr. Crafty and Nurse Worse as a couple, and has even taken couples counselling courses online should they need it.
  • Signing-Off Catchphrase: "Until next time, goo-bye!"
  • Slime Girl: Notably, her slime is made up of random bathroom chemicals that Crafty accidentally spilled together.
  • Stupid Sexy Flanders: Inverted. While she's usually a strict lesbian, even she couldn't resist the charms of Prince Sidon.
  • The Tease: It's pretty much standard for her to flirt with almost everyone she sees: the audience, the other hosts, the characters in the Top 10 countdowns...
  • Trademark Favorite Food: According to Curious Cat, shampoo.
  • Verbal Tic: She usually replaces the word "good" with "goo".

    Madame Crystelle 
Madame Crystelle
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crystelle.png
Voiced by: Inrezairo

A Fortune Teller who spends her time in the laboratory's closet. She's the host of the Season 3 spin-off Crafty's Questionable Qloset.

  • Adorkable: While she tries to maintain a stoic mystical demeanor, she has plenty of moments where her serious act is broken and she proves to be just as quirky as the other characters. This is especially the case whenever she does an adorable giggle following a pun or a question for her.
  • All-Powerful Bystander: This is discussed for the first question about her. While she is aware of several futures, she can't always tell which one would come true in the current timeline, and the ones she does know about she can't interfere in, lest she disrupt the flow of the timeline.
  • Bald Woman: Justified as her head is a crystal ball, which obviously can't grow hair in the first place.
  • Celestial Body: Her skin is light purple with several stars inside.
  • Chrome Dome Psi: A rare female example, as she's a psychic with no hair.
  • Crystal Ball: A living, sentient example of one.
  • Hartman Hips: They're pretty noticable, especially thanks to the color balance on her skirt that stands out from most of the purple.
  • I Am Very British: She speaks with a refined British accent, which helps convey her elegant and mystical nature.
  • Madame Fortune: It's right there in the name.
  • Magical Barefooter: She's a fortune teller who doesn't wear any shoes.
  • Non-Human Head: A crystal ball head, one that doesn't provide any facial features except her eyes.
  • Purple Is Powerful: Her primary color scheme is purple and she's quite a skilled psychic.
  • Seers: The main thing she uses her psychic powers for are seeing the future.
  • Star-Spangled Spandex: In addition to the stars on her skin, she has some on her cloak as well.
  • Statuesque Stunner: Her official listed height is 6' 4", making her one of the tallest characters on the show. She's third only to Pepper and Sasha in terms of height.

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    Professor Merry 
Professor Merry
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crafty_concoction__heartzmd_9_by_drcrafty_dc5bd49.png
Voiced by: Miss Nightmare

The first guest host to appear on the Patreon-sponsored episodes. She's overjoyed to be in the episode, even bringing her own script for it. Although, Crafty would come to eventually regret this decision...

  • Adorkable: She often gets this way over her dedication to the script she wrote for her friend Molly, though as the episode progresses, she starts to get a little too dedicated to it.
  • Gorgeous Gorgon: She notably has eels for hair, not that it distracts from her good looks at all.
  • I Have My Ways: Her reaction to being asked how she got into Crafty's secret lair. Disgustilda advised her to use a spoon to dig her way in.
  • Made of Iron: Near the end of the episode, she ends up blown skyward by an explosion from her fanfic-writing machine. Despite staying up there for a long time, Molly makes note that she'll be fine when she comes back down.
  • Mad Scientist: Both she and her friend Molly are scientists, and the "Mad" part comes from her obsession for writing fan-fiction.
  • Meganekko
  • Our Mermaids Are Different: Well for starters, she's also part Gorgon.
  • Self-Insert Fic: What Molly reveals Merry's script really is: just a glorified Fan Fic with Molly shoehorned into multiple scenarios.
  • Side-Effects Include...: She decides to list off the side-effects of Evil Laughing... and it goes on for a very, very long time!
  • Transparent Closet: She accidentally makes a Freudian Slip calling Molly her girlfriend, but later backtracks and simply refers to her as just a fellow scientist.

Antagonists

    Doctor Mindstein 
Doctor Mindstein
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/gretas_mother.jpg
Voiced by: Olivia Steele

The mother of Nurse Worse, and the true mastermind behind everything that's happened in the story.

  • '50s Hair: She has a notable bouffant hairstyle that's much larger than her head.
  • Abusive Parent: To Nurse, as she seems to be cutting into Nurse's body while she's still awake, and gets her possessed by sending her the Millennium Ring. Furthermore, flashbacks have shown that punishment for Greta leaving the house without her permission is to stick a syringe in her neck.
  • Big Bad: The Villain Antagonist to Crafty's Villain Protagonist. She's got big plans for Doctor Crafty, and will go through any means necessary to accomplish them.
  • Brain in a Jar: Her brain can be seen through a glass dome on her forehead.
  • By the Lights of Their Eyes: Though she's only been seen in darkness, her eyes are always visible. Even in her shadow.
  • Deal with the Devil: And despite her plans also involving a Physical God, she's the devil of this deal! In this instance, she "convinced" Bill Cipher to work for her and extract an unknown secret from Crafty's mind.
  • Dr. Fakenstein: Between her name, her depiction as an evil scientist, and being the mother of two Frankenstein monsters, Mindstein pretty much fits the bill.
  • Evil Matriarch: She's Nurse Worse's mother and she's bad enough to bend at least two villains from other shows to her will.
  • Faux Affably Evil: She may act all kind and motherly, but don't let her fool you for a second, lest you fall victim to her truly sinister nature.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: Of The Foreshadow Game and "Cartoon Month", being the one who Zorc and Bill Cipher after Crafty and friends in the first place.
  • A Glass of Chianti: She's sometimes depicted holding a glass of a blue cocktail.
  • Hijacking Cthulhu: So far, she managed to get two Eldritch Abominations with immense power to work for her, while suffering no retaliation from them!
  • Icy Blue Eyes: She has pale blue eyes, which is fitting for her cold, sinister personality.
  • Knight of Cerebus: The show's previous villains were either harmless or hilarious. But the instant this lady appeared, she established early on that she means business.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Red to Screw's Blue. While Screw is eerily calm with a monotone pitch in her voice and barely any expressions coming from her face, Mindstein is much perkier and has her face locked in a near-constant smile.
  • Sinister Silhouettes: She has yet to be seen in light. Only her eyes, mouth, brain and the faintest details of her clothes can be seen.
  • Sinister Surveillance: She's been spying on Crafty for quite a long time.
  • Slasher Smile: She must really enjoy her evil schemes as she's prone to this quite often, usually when torturing her victims.
  • Spikes of Villainy: She has spikes on her gloves, boots and sides of her head.
  • Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Considering her Establishing Character Moment involved mutilating her daughter, it's pretty safe to say she's much more vile than all the show's other characters!

    Screw 
Screw
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/ea1a9cfc_b05e_4349_b9d5_8dc76e8a4ef7.jpeg
Voiced by: VanityPride

Nurse Worse's sister, currently living and serving under Dr. Mindstein.

  • Ambiguously Evil: Flashbacks show that she doesn't hate her sister Greta and promised not to tell Mindstein about her leaving the house. Currently, it's unknown if she's serving Mindstein out of fear or if she's obeying her willingly.
  • The Dragon: She's Mindstein's right-hand woman, always accompanying her in her schemes.
  • Emotionless Girl: She almost never raises her voice, and her default facial expression is an dull frown.
  • Evil Counterpart: Of Nurse Worse, as she's also a plump Frankenstein monster in service to a mad scientist, one who's truly evil compared to Crafty.
  • Fat Bitch: She's just as big as her sister, but nowhere near as nice.
  • Given Name Reveal: As revealed in episode 65, Hazel.
  • Meaningful Name: Her name comes from the screw lodged in her head and arms.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The Blue to Mindstein's Red. While Mindstein is much perkier and has her face locked in a near-constant Slasher Smile, Screw is much calmer with a more monotone pitch in her voice and barely any expressions coming from her face.
  • Theme Naming: Her name is Hazel and her sister's name is Greta. Does that sound familiar to you?

    Ring Nurse 
Ring Nurse
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/faf9a32a_271a_4185_a91b_d5f963cb080f.jpeg
Voiced by: Ethan Wright

The form Nurse Worse took on under the control of the Spirit of Yami Bakura. He planned to claim Nurse for his master Dr. Mindstein, sending Crafty, Pepper and Messibelle into the Shadow Realm in the process.

  • Anime Hair: His hair wildly exaggerates Nurse's, making it much longer and spikier.
  • Arc Villain: Of The Foreshadow Game.
  • Artifact of Doom: The Millennium Ring, of course.
  • Badass Longcoat: He retains his black longcoat from the anime.
  • Broke Your Arm Punching Out Cthulhu: While he was in control for most of the duel against Sasha, almost killing her in the process, he didn't count on her helping Crafty and his friends to work together and beat him.
  • Cold Ham: His voice actor mimics Ted Lewis's performance from the 4Kids dub, giving him this effect.
  • Evil Costume Switch: From Nurse's regular outfit to Bakura's clothes from the Dawn of the Duel arc.
  • Fat Bastard: Not the Spirit himself, but the fact that he's taken Nurse's overweight body invokes this trope.
  • Gender Bender: A male spirit inside a female body.
  • The Glasses Come Off: Unlike Nurse, Bakura can see just fine without glasses.
  • The Heavy: While a competent threat on his own, he ultimately serves Mindstein as she was the one who sent him to capture Nurse in the first place.
  • Hoist by His Own Petard: ending Crafty to the Shadow Realm proved to be a huge mistake, as Crafty used the energy of the realm to create a new monster — one fused from one of his El Shaddolls — that ended up being Bakura's undoing.
  • Iconic Outfit: His striped shirt and trenchcoat are carried over from Bakura's home series.
  • Killer Game Master: Naturally, his method of battling Sasha is with a game of Duel Monsters.
  • Marionette Master: His entire deck is filled with Shaddoll archtype cards.
  • Sadist: He loved making Sasha suffer during their duel.
  • Tsurime Eyes: His eyes are much sharper and angular than Nurse's.
  • Vile Villain, Saccharine Show: Needless to say, he's just as evil here as in his own show, but it's compounded by the fact that he actually put everyone's lives in mortal danger.
  • Villainous Breakdown: While normally calm and collected, he started losing his temper once the duel quickly shifted in Crafty's favor.
  • Voices Are Mental: When he's in control, the other characters notice the change in voice.

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Other Characters

    Sasha 
Sasha
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/sasha_6.png
Click to see her human form 
Click to see her in Crafty's body 

Voiced by: Allison Seils

A mysterious woman from Crafty's youth who quickly became one of his closest friends after she saved his life.

  • Adorable Abomination: For a sea creature deity, there are times where she can be surprisingly cute.
  • Adorkable: Her first bit of awkward laughter makes her come across as this.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Her human clothing includes a crop top that shows her stomach.
  • Beware the Nice Ones: She may be kind and loving, but she will stop at nothing to defeat you if you threaten Crafty's life. Bill Cipher learned this the hard way.
  • Blue Is Heroic: She's a darker shade of blue, but unmistakably one of the good guys.
  • Cannot Spit It Out: Due to how long she's been away from Crafty, she couldn't bring herself to see him again in person. She could only bring herself to deliver a letter before leaving the castle.
  • Chekhov's Gunman: She's made several cameos across Seasons One and Two before appearing more regularly.
  • Chekhov's Skill: Her ability to play Duel Monsters was established so she could eventually battle Ring Nurse in the Shadow Realm.
  • Cute Little Fangs: Whenever her mouth does appear in her base form, it's shown to be full of sharp teeth. But thanks to her personality, it's more adorable than disturbing. Played straighter in her human form, with a pair of tiny fangs visible when she speaks.
  • Dark Is Not Evil: Despite her somewhat frightening appearance, she's not malicious at all.
  • Despair Event Horizon: She hits this hard after almost being killed by Ring Nurse, worrying that Crafty and the others would be trapped in the Shadow Realm forever. Fortunately, Crafty helps her recover by facing Bakura himself.
  • The Dreaded: If even Bill Cipher is afraid of her, you just know Sasha qualifies for this trope. Not to mention she also wields a sword that can make a god Deader Than Dead, so that helps too.
  • Eyes Do Not Belong There: She has eyes all over her body which she can summon at will.
  • First-Name Basis: She mainly calls Crafty by his real name, Colin.
  • A Form You Are Comfortable With: The first time she donned her human guise was to make herself more presentable to Crafty's parents.
  • Humanoid Abomination: She's an Infinia, a species of elder gods that have existed since the dawn of time, and creator of relics that can revive, torture, and destroy other gods. While she's the last living of the Infinia, their influence is quite noteworthy amongst other deities.
  • Instant Expert: Her time spent with Crafty allowed her to become an expert at playing Yu-Gi-Oh!. Good thing too, given the events that happen in The Foreshadow Game...
  • Last of Her Kind: Bill believes that the Infinia were totally wiped out before he found her.
  • Laugh of Love: This was the first time she ever experienced laughter, and it, combined with a Luminescent Blush, cemented the moment she fell in love with Crafty.
  • My Greatest Failure: This is the reason she broke up with Crafty in the first place. She was afraid that he would put his life in danger again like the first time they met, except this time she wouldn't be able to save him and she'd feel responsible for what happened. She had to leave Crafty without telling him to prevent this from happening, and she regretted breaking his heart even to this day.
  • My Significance Sense Is Tingling: She was able to detect something terrible happened to Crafty the moment he was pulled into the Shadow Realm.
  • Nice Girl: She's soft-spoken and friendly to Crafty.
  • No Mouth: Zig-Zagged. Her default form has a mouth that appears occasionally, she has one in her human form, and lacks one when she's in control of Crafty's body.
  • Old Flame: To Dr. Crafty. Despite them being separated for fifteen years, she still has romantic feelings for him.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: "Sasha" is a nickname she made up after meeting Crafty's parents. According to her, humans would have to add 400,000 more letters to the alphabet to spell her real name.
  • Perky Goth: She has a goth fashion in her human form, but she's usually very polite and cheerful.
  • Prehensile Hair: Her hair is prehensile and can be whatever length or style she wants.
  • Physical God: She's been described as a goddess by Crafty, and she certainly has the power to back it up.
  • Psychic Block Defense: She's the reason why Bill Cipher cannot get into Crafty's head. He eventually managed to get through her defenses... because she let him get through so she can kill him herself.
  • Rapunzel Hair: Her hair goes down to her feet in both her real form and her human form.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Appropriately for an eldritch monster, she's been alive for thousands of years.
  • Statuesque Stunner: She's about 7 and a half feet tall, and nice looking by the standards of an eldritch being.
  • Symbiotic Possession: Unlike the Millennium Ring's more hostile possession of people, Sasha possessed Crafty's body with the intention of getting him out of danger. And after that, her possession remains in Crafty's mind to protect him from other gods and monsters who threaten to hurt him.
  • Tiny Guy, Huge Girl: Crafty's height of over 6 feet is by no means tiny, but he's still a foot shorter than Sasha.
  • Visual Pun: She's Crafty's love interest and she's an eldritch being. She's Love-Crafty-an.
  • Voluntary Shapeshifter: She's able to take on a more human appearance, albeit with Pointy Ears and blue skin.
  • What Is This Feeling?: Despite living for several millennia, her time spent with Crafty made her experience things she hasn't before, including happiness, sadness and of course, love.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Her human form has dark blue hair.
  • Zettai Ryouiki: She wears thigh-high boots in her human form.

    Crafty's Parents 
Howard and Vinny Crafterson
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/crafty_concoction__colin_s_parents_by_drcrafty_dd27dfg_fullview.png
Howard Voiced by: D. Tyler Fultz
Vinny Voiced by: Kim Gasiciel

Colin Crafterson's mother and father, who were first seen on the show after he invited Sasha to live with them.

  • Amazingly Embarrassing Parents: Both of them acted this way after meeting Sasha, much to Colin's displeasure.
  • Beatnik: Howard just oozes of this trope, mainly thanks to his mustache, shades, sweater and trumpet.
  • Celebrity Resemblance: Apparently, they've been mistaken for Sonny Bono and Cher, so they decided to roll with it and started a tribute band for the duo under the name "Skinny and Hair".
  • Cool Shades: Both of them wear a pair.
  • Good Parents: They were genuinely concerned about Colin's safety, and were more than willing to help Sasha out with her situation.
  • Hartman Hips: Vinny's almost as thin as her husband, with her hips as a notable exception.
  • Hippie Parents: They both met at the Woodstock Music Festival, falling in love during their impromptu performance of Sonny & Cher music.
  • Noodle People: Howard. It's pretty easy to see where Crafty gets his lankiness from.
  • So Proud of You: Their reaction to Colin finally making a friend.
  • Strong Family Resemblance: Both of them have traits that carried over to Crafty, including Howard's physique and nose, and Vinny's long curly hair.
  • Unexplained Accent: While Howard's Cockney accent makes sense for matching Crafty's accent, Vinny speaks with a slight Chicago accent for some reason.

    Disgustilda 
Disgustilda
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/disgustilda.png
Voiced by: Alex Tansley

A recurring character who wants nothing more than to get revenge on Dr. Crafty and Take Over the World... even though she's not a noteworthy threat at all.

  • Affably Evil: Despite (supposedly) being Crafty's archenemy, she's rather polite. She even offers Sasha a place to stay during her visit in Florida.
  • Ambiguously Human: Between her deformed appearance and skin color, it's unknown if she's human or something else entirely.
    • Making things even more confusing is the fact that, according to Crafty's commission rules, she qualifies as a Creature Concoction.
  • Anti-Climax Boss: Played for Laughs in the fifth Top Ten Tub. She was set to be the Final Boss of the episode, following several established fighting game characters, but one punch from Crafty was enough to send her flying.
  • Big Bad Wannabe: She desparately wants to be a true villain, but Crafty always proves to be Eviler Than Thou.
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: As Crystelle puts it, "not all the lights are on in [her mind]."
  • Evil Plan: She claims to have one but never really does.
  • Expy: She made her debut as a parody of Revolta, even down to having a similar name. Eventually, she transitioned away from this to become a more distinct character.
  • Fan Disservice: The Stinger of Episode 40 has her wearing a swimsuit. Cue eye-gouging.
  • Gonky Femme: Despite looking and sounding rather hideous, she nonetheless acts like a typical elderly woman, even taking up hobbies like knitting, bingo, and watching daytime TV.
  • Harmless Villain: So harmless, in fact, that so far she's easily been dispatched by Nurse's pet Blob Monster and Crafty's d20 die-summoned dragons.
  • Meaningful Name: With a name like “Disgustilda”, would you honestly expect her to be beautiful?
  • King Koopa Copy: A huge top-heavy body, a deep voice, spiky armbands, huge clawed hands, and the self-proclamed nemesis of Crafty? She pretty much checks off all the boxes. This is a case of Author Appeal as Alex has established himself to be a Nintendo fanboy, so deliberately using Bowser as a design influence makes sense.
  • Plot-Irrelevant Villain: A parody of the trope, usually appearing when mentioning straight examples like Revolta and Oogie Boogie.
  • Poke the Poodle: Her "plans" usually consist of multiple steps of doing nothing.
  • Spikes of Villainy: She has spike on her clothes, hair and ring.
  • Spiky Hair: Quite literally in this case, as her hairbun resembles a spikeball.

    Zombie Minions 
Zombie Minions
https://static.tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pub/images/zombie_workers.png
From top to bottom: RJ Grid, Whyboy and Nero, ToxicSoul77 and Katy Johnson.
The writers and editors of Crafty's videos. They're zombified versions of Paladin Taim, RJ Grid, Nero and Whyboy of ToonGrin, ToxicSoul77 and Katy Johnson.

  • Amazing Technicolor Population: Katy has pink skin, which is quite an unusual color for the undead.
  • Artificial Limbs: RJ has a metal claw for a left arm.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Katy's shirt exposes her abdomen... or what's left of it, as all that remains of her torso is her spine and pelvis.
  • Butt-Monkey: They get no respect from Crafty.
  • Celebrity Paradox: Katy and ToxicSoul77 are the voices of Pepper and Messibelle, yet they also exist as zombies in-universe.
  • Flesh-Eating Zombie: According to AskFM, the zombies eat some of the fan-art characters Crafty keeps in storage.
  • Glowing Eyelights of Undeath: The ToonGrin zombies have these.
  • Put on a Bus: Paladin Taim was fired and replaced by Katy, so don't expect to see his zombie counterpart anymore.
  • Revenant Zombie: They're intelligent enough to use the software and grammar required to do their jobs.
  • Satellite Character: Their only defining characteristic is that they write and edit the show. They don't have much of a prescence on the show besides that.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Whenever Crafty tries to take advantage of them, they usually respond by spewing several (somehow grammatically-correct) profanities.
  • Suddenly Voiced: After all the cameos the zombies made, Episode 51 finally gives a speaking moment to Nero... though how he can talk when he's missing a jaw is anyone's guess.
  • Who Writes This Crap?!: This is their preferred method of getting back at Crafty: by making him say embarrasing things they write in the script.

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