The characters who appear in Chad Vader.
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Empire Market
Management
Chad Vader
Chad Vader
Played by: Aaron Yonda (actor), Matt Sloan (voice)
The protagonist of the series, Darth Vader's less competent, less-famous brother who works as the day shift manager at Empire Market. Sometimes using lines lifted from the Star Wars films, Chad's original main goal is to crush the store's competition and help make it "dominate the food retailing industry". However, this later changes into a desire to become General Manager.
- Affectionate Parody: Of his "brother", Darth Vader.
- Bad Boss: Chad becomes one midway through Season 4 (causing him to start acting a lot more like his famous brother).
- Badass Cape: Subverted; while his long, flowing black cape looks cool and intimidating, Chad's no badass. He also doesn't know how to handle the cape, frequently getting it caught on things and tangled around himself.
- Beneath the Mask: While Chad pretends to be an intimidating badass, he's actually rather insecure and fears that he's "lame". As such, he tries desperately to maintain an image of fear and respect, and clings to every vestige of power and privilege — his job title and position, underlings, girlfriends — at any cost. In Season 4, after he obtains the General Manager title and discovers that his employees still don't respect him, it effects him so badly that he turns into an evil dictator because of it.
- Classical Anti-Hero: While he pretends to be a confident, intimidating, badass warrior, Chad is a cowardly Cloud Cuckoolander who is plagued by self-doubt, a mediocre fighter (at best), and incompetent at just about everything.
- Create Your Own Villain: Chad ended up making Clint his enemy on his first day at Empire Market, after he broke the wall clock (after "punching in") and then blamed Clint for it. However,
Word of God says that Clint probably would have stabbed him in the back later, regardless. - Dark Is Evil: Downplayed; while he can be a Jerkass and a Manipulative Bastard, Chad isn't evil. Played straight in Season 4, after he gives in to the "Dark Soul Half".
- Genius Ditz: Averted; Chad (like his brother) has an aptitude for robotics: he designed, built, and programmed a number of service droids for the store, including cleaning droids, a new laser checkout system, and a rocket-powered shopping cart. However, many of his personal creations are complete failures, and he's totally incompetent when it comes to general mechanics and management (such as that usually needs other people to do the actual work for him).
- Hair-Trigger Temper: Much like his brother, it doesn't take a lot to set Chad off.
- Heroes Love Dogs: Subverted; Chad has a definite soft spot for dogs (as demonstrated multiple times), but he's more of a Classical Anti-Hero than a true hero.
- Improbable Weapon User: While on the job, Chad rarely uses his lightsaber, instead using the Force to turn merchandise and floor displays into projectiles and obstacles.
- Jerk with a Heart of Gold: While Chad is extremely melodramatic, has a single-minded obsession with his job, and can be rude, selfish, and at times downright abusive to his underlings, it's shown that he genuinely cares about his fellow employees (with the exception of Lloyd) and the welfare of Empire Market.
- Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: Midway through Season 4, Chad realizes that his co-workers don't respect him as Day Shift Manager. He immediately decides to give in to the Dark Soul Half, and begins ruling Empire Market like a tyrant.
- Kavorka Man: Chad manages to attract some pretty female co-workers, being a disfigured, rude, socially awkward nutcase who spends all of his time in a black body suit and helmet, ordering everyone around like the crew of an Imperial Star Destroyer.
- Literal-Minded: On his first day on the job, Chad punched the punch clock, breaking the machine.
- Manipulative Bastard: Chad pays Ben the Ghost $50 to tell Jeremy that his destiny is to work for Empire Market forever, and completely ignores the fact that Jeremy's destiny lies at the Michigan Institution of Technology.
- Near-Death Experience: Chad is nearly killed by being electrocuted while trying to fix the store's boiler. After briefly visiting his own personal Nostalgia Heaven (where he meets his childhood self and former pet dog), he's magically revived by Hal.
- No Social Skills: Suffice to say, Chad is really bad at social interactions (due in equal parts to being a rude, demanding hothead and an awkward nerd).
- Psychic Strangle: He occasionally uses Force Choke against Lloyd. Unlike Darth Vader, however, he only uses it to bully and annoy rather than kill him.
- Refusing Paradise: After he gets electrocuted in the final episode while trying to recalibrate the store's furnace, Chad finds himself in an idyllic, sunny autumn field with a happy, non-scarred child version of himself and his childhood dog. As he takes the boy's hand to go play games, seemingly happy and ready to "move on", Hal Thompson begins reviving him. Instantly, he shoves the boy down, exclaims, "I'm not dying! Screw you, kid!" and takes off running. At which point he wakes up back at the store.
- Serious Business: How Chad treats everything related to his job. He sees the grocery retail industry as his war, and Empire Market as his own personal Star Destroyer.
- Shock and Awe: Chad gains the ability to use force lightning in the Season 2 finale while seething with rage at Maggie.
- Small Name, Big Ego: Nobody seems to know who Chad is, besides his co-workers (and his famous brother). However, he acts like all of the customers should know and fear him.
- Surrounded by Idiots: How Chad generally regards those who work under him. And his customers. Basically, everyone who isn't a love interest or his higher-ups.
- Then Let Me Be Evil: In Season 4, after he becomes General Manager, Chad realizes that, thanks to actor Brian Krause (who spills the beans on some of Chad's less-than-proud moments from his early days at the store), his employees don't respect him and see him as an incompetent bully. Subsequently, he decides to give into the "Dark Soul Half" and begins ruling Empire Market like a tyrant. (Fortunately, he comes round at the end.)
- Unusually Uninteresting Sight: Nobody seems surprised or bothered by the sight of a man in black full-body armor, a helmet, and a cape who speaks with a respirator. Especially odd given that the Star Wars franchise exists in-universe.
- Vader Breath: Naturally. In Chad's case, he must wear a helmet with a respirator (given to him by his brother) due to riding his bike into a volcano as a child. If he ever removes the helmet, he will die. (Allegedly.)
- Villain Protagonist: Chad becomes one in the middle of the fourth season (until his Heel Realization in the finale).
- Weaksauce Weakness: If you knock Chad on his back, he's basically helpless, due to his body armor making it impossible for him to get up.
- You Have Failed Me: He attempts this with Tony in the first episode of Season 1, after Tony takes over an hour to complete a task. It fails, however, as Tony points out that Chad said the same thing the last time he "failed" him.
Clint Shermer
Clinton Shermer
Played by: Matt Sloan
Chad's archnemesis, the former Night Shift Manager of Empire Market (and the main antagonist of Season 1). He later returns in Season 3.
- Achilles' Heel: Inverted — according to his father, Clint has "many weaknesses", but only one strength.
- Bad Boss: After Chad quits his job in the first season, Clint — having been promoted to day shift manager in Chad's place — begins abusing his subordinates.
- The Bully: In the first season, he constantly abuses Chad. After he's promoted to day shift manager, he also mistreats those who work under him (including Lloyd, who is supposedly his friend, and Clarissa, who is his girlfriend). He later resumes bullying Chad when he he's re-hired in Season 3.
- Enemy Mine: He and Chad reluctantly join forces at the end of Season 3, in order to prevent the store from being destroyed by Randy's Baby Bombs.
- Fat Bastard: He's the most heavyset character in the series, and the biggest jerkass.
- Freudian Excuse: Getting blamed by Chad for breaking a clock is what turned him into a Jerkass.
- He's Back!: After quitting his job at Empire Market at the end of Season 1, he's suddenly re-hired by Maggie in the middle of Season 3.
- Hidden Depths: Clint has only one strength: he's an expert at defusing explosives (due to his time in a "Bomb Defusing Club"). It comes in handy when Randy rigs the store with Baby Cookie Bombs.
- Jerkass Has a Point: While his intentions are far from pure (he openly admits that he wants to steal Chad's day shift manager position and girlfriend), Clint is right to report Chad to Randy. Chad is rude to the customers, unable to manage or get along with his subordinates, and routinely assaults the other employees, Clint included (as the abrasions on his neck demonstrate). Chad has no business being the day shift manager.
- Like Father, Unlike Son: Champion J. Pepper is shown to be a kind and pleasant man, unlike Clint, who is a bully.
- Put on a Bus: In the first season finale, he quits his job at Empire Market after being defeated by Chad.
- The Bus Came Back: He returns partway through Season 3 after Maggie rehires him, and promptly tries to steal the general manager position from Chad. He's transferred to another store by the end of the season, however.
Randy Morgan
Randall Morgan
Played by: Brad Knight
Chad's boss and the general manager of Empire Market. He is later demoted to Night Shift Manager, then to the store's janitor.
- Ax-Crazy: He gradually becomes this way over Season 2, thanks to Baby Cookie's influence. It comes to a head at the end of the season, with Randy trying to murder Chad with a sword. In the following season, he tries to blow up Empire Market with Baby Cookie bombs.
- Beleaguered Boss: Throughout the first season (and the first two episodes of the second).
- Character Development: Baby Cookie provides him with some. Before he gets Baby Cookie, he can best described as "well-meaning boss who has to deal with the typical frustrations of incompetent employees" (namely, Chad). However, as of the latter part of Season 2 and the entirety of Season 3, thanks to Baby Cookie's influence, he undergoes severe Sanity Slippage until he has pretty much filled the void left by Weird Jimmy (mixed in with a bit more Ax-Crazy then Jimmy had).
- Companion Cube: After meeting Baby Cookie, he immediately becomes fixated on her, eventually stealing her from Hal. Then she starts talking to him and giving him orders.
- First-Name Basis: With the exception of Chad (on a few occasions), everyone refers to him as "Randy". His surname is only revealed in the credits.
- Insistent Terminology: He's unsettled by Chad calling him "Emperor" or "My Master", insisting that he just call him Randy.
- Jumping Off the Slippery Slope: He loses most of his sanity over the duration of Season 2, before jumping completely off the deep end and trying to stab Chad at the end of the Season. In Season 3, he tries to backpedal by tossing out Baby Cookie and going about his work as if nothing happened...only for Baby Cookie to return, and convince him to try to blow up the store.
- Only Sane Man: He fills this role as General Manager during the first season. After he's demoted to Night Shift Manager, however, he quickly begins losing his sanity.
- Put on a Bus: He vanishes at the end of Season 3. It is mentioned that he still works at Empire Market, however, and he appears in flashbacks during Season 4 and briefly in the crowd of employees in the finale...still twitching manically.
- Reasonable Authority Figure: As General Manager of Empire Market.
- Sanity Slippage: Undergoes this over the course of seasons two and three. First, the night shift begins driving him insane. Then Baby Cookie comes into the picture, and he becomes obsessed with her and doing her "bidding".
Maggie McCall
See her folder under Red Leader Foods.
Sales Floor
"Commander" Jeremy Wickstrom
Jeremy Wickstrom
Played by: Paul Guse
An Empire Market employee who idolizes Chad and acts as his "apprentice". He wears the headpiece of an Imperial Ground Officer.
- A Pupil of Mine Until He Turned to Evil: After being Chad Vader's apprentice for a season and a half, Jeremy grows resentful of Chad (assuming that Chad has replaced him with Robbie) and turns against him under Maggie's influence. Maggie begins molding him into General Management material, transforming him into Chad's nemesis. After he fights Chad in a lightsaber battle — which accidentally results in Jimmy's death — he pulls a Heel–Face Turn, and returns to being Chad's apprentice.
- Cool Helmet: The shiny black Imperial Ground Officer helmet he wears as Chad's apprentice.
- The Chosen One: Weird Jimmy (or rather, his ghost) says that Jeremy is "the only one who can stop his plan". "His plan" turns out to be a reference to Randy's plot to blow up Empire Market with six Baby Cookie bombs. When Damien ends up saving the day instead by sacrificing himself to get the last bomb out of the building, he becomes severely depressed and leaves Empire Market on a spirit quest.
- The Ditz: He occasionally comes across as one in the first season, mainly due to his obsession with trying to please Chad.
- Hidden Depths: The first season finale reveals that he possesses Force powers. Subsequent seasons (and non-episodic Chad videos) also show that he has a great deal of initiative and bravery, when he isn't worrying about what Chad will think.
- Hyper-Competent Sidekick: By the start of Season Three, he has become one, proving himself to be smarter, more efficient, and more industrious than his "Master".
- My God, What Have I Done?: He feels guilty about betraying Chad to Maggie and causing Libby to get deported when he sees how torn up Chad is over it.
- Nice Guy: In spite of Jeremy's faults, he's overall friendly and is a loyal friend to Chad most of the time.
- Took a Level in Badass: In Season 1, he follows Chad around like an eager puppy, is bullied by Clint, and cannot stand up for or defend himself. In Season 2, however, he begins to develop his own Force powers, culminating in him summoning a lightsaber to help fight off killer robots. By the season's end, he almost defeats Chad in a lightsaber battle.
- Yes-Man: Acts as one to Chad through most of Season 1.
"Commander" Tony Edwards
Anthony Edwards
Played by: Asa Dereks
An employee in Empire Market who does not like Chad very much. In the early episodes, Chad refers to him as "Commander Edwards," much to Tony's annoyance.
- Deadpan Snarker: He thinks Chad's overly dramatic approach to work is ridiculous waste—- and he lets him know it.
- Fantastically Indifferent: Tony's apathy towards the craziness at Empire Market is all-encompassing.
- Mellow Fellow: He's the only employee at Empire Market who doesn't get tangled up in Chad's zany schemes at some point, mainly because he doesn't care enough to.
- Only in It for the Money: He cares nothing for Chad's plans of "dominating the food retailing industry", wanting only to finish his shift, collect his paycheck, and go home.
- Only Sane Man: After the Sanity Slippage of Randy in Season 2, he takes on this role in Season 3. By then, he's the only one who recognizes that Chad's overly dramatic, grandiose behavior is ridiculous and calls it out as such.
- The Virus: During his trial as General Manager, his bored, disinterested personality seemingly has this effect on the rest of the employees. This results in a day where everything runs smoothly at the store, and nothing strange or exciting happens. Literally.
Lloyd
Lloyd
Played by: Rob Matsushita
An employee who is fond of making sexually suggestive remarks and is a friend of Clint. He works at Empire Market's deli counter.
- All Men Are Perverts: Lloyd can turn any comment into a sex joke ("Did you hear the one about about my balls? They're so big, they need a basket!"), takes pride in sexually harassing female co-workers, and once sent Chad a leather riding crop as a Christmas gift.
- Butt-Monkey: Aside from Clint, nobody at Empire Market likes him, and he routinely gets pushed around by Chad (and later Maggie). He's so disliked that Maggie and Chad actually bond over their mutual hatred of him.
- Chew Toy: He suffers a great deal of physical abuse from Chad, who enjoys Force choking him and pelting him with merchandise (among other things).
- The Friend Nobody Likes: Despite being Chad's whipping boy, Lloyd is often seen hanging out with him and Jeremy the spinoff videos.
Robbie Johnson
Robbie Johnson
Played by: Wolfgang Stein
A young, impressionable Empire Market employee who had worked there for half a day, before he was terminated after following the instructions in Chad's training videos. He returns to the store in Season 3.
- The Alcoholic: After Robbie's chosen as Employees of the Month, he, Chad, and Libby go out to dinner to celebrate. He gets completely drunk for the first time in his life — and enjoys it so much that he decides he wants to be drunk all the time. Sure enough, every time he appears after that, he behaves as if he's drunk and often has a flask in hand.
- The Ditz: He's fired after only half a day of work, due to following Chad's training videos to an obsessive (and dangerous) degree. This includes trying to maim and murder customers for minor infractions, and wearing a gas mask (to follow Chad's advice on maintaining a "serious" appearance). He also annoyed everyone in the store by dancing around with a broom and leaping from the store's shelves.
- He's Back!: After appearing in a retrospective on Chad's "training video fiasco", he is re-hired by Maggie in the second half of Season 2.
- Put on a Bus: Despite bragging to Chad in the season 2 finale that he'll win the general manager position in spite of his drunken state, Robbie isn't seen again after that point. However, he's briefly mentioned by Chad at the beginning of the Season 3 episode "Return of Clint".
- Well-Intentioned Extremist: His over-the-top adherence to Chad's instructions is simply his way of trying to be a good employee and follow the example of a manager he respects and looks up to.
Sean Banditson / The Marshmallow Bandito
Sean Banditson
Played by: Sean Moore
A former customer (and later employee) of Empire Market, who becomes Chad's self-declared arch-nemesis after Chad ends a store sale on marshmallows. His alter-ego is a supervillain called the "Marshmallow Bandito", who appears twice in Season 2 and once in Season 3.
- Berserk Button: Don't insult marshmallows around him, or deprive him of his marshmallows.
- Blatant Lies: While Chad is punishing him by craming marshmallows down his throat, he claims he doesn't even like marshmallows — despite being a marshmallow-themed villain.
- Cheap Costume: His "Marshmallow Bandito" getup consists of ordinary white clothes, a chef's hat, and badly-done white face paint.
- Defeat Equals Friendship: Or at least, Defeat Equals No Longer Arch Enemies, as he takes a job at Empire Market shortly thereafter.
- Disproportionate Retribution: His entire motive is getting revenge against Chad because marshmallows are no longer on sale.
- Edible Ammunition: His signature attack is spitting marshmallows.
- Heel–Face Revolving Door: He starts off as Chad's self-proclaimed arch-nemesis, wanting revenge against him for ending a marshmallow sale. After a beat-down from Chad, he gets a job at Empire Market (to pay his rent). He actually does pretty well for a time, even spending time with Chad outside of work. However, during his "test run" of the Day Shift Manager position, a rude customer ridicules marshmallows in front of him, triggering his rage and causing him to revert back to his villainous persona (and steal Chad's prototype rocket cart).
- Put on a Bus: After being introduced as a major secondary character in Season 2, he's abruptly written off after three episodes. A brief phone conversation with Chad reveals that he was sent to jail due to his antics at Empire Market.
- Sitcom Arch-Nemesis: To Chad.
Cashiers
Clarissa
Clarissa
Played by: Christina LaVicka
A pretty female cashier at Empire Market. She acts as Chad's love interest during Season 1.
- All Love Is Unrequited: She and Chad only have one date before she ditches him for Clint, by which time Chad has already fallen in love with her. She expresses interest in remaining friends with Chad at the end of Season 1, and later mentions being open to a second date. Chad asks for time to think it over, and apparently has moved on by the start of Season 2 (while Clarissa remains interested).
- Brainy Brunette: According to the Force Ghost, she's a very smart, and hot, girl.
- Demoted to Extra: In Season 1, she's a major supporting character and Chad's love interest. From Season 2 onward, however, she only has only a few brief cameos and lines of dialogue.
- Put on a Bus: She vanishes from Empire Market midway through Season 3, and (despite a few brief mentions in the non-episodic videos) never appears again.
- What the Hell, Hero?: After Chad quits his job at Empire Market after a single night shift, spies on her and Clint on their date at a restaurant, gets drunk, and tries to start an argument with Clint, she calls him out on his behavior, and tells him to "[d]o something with your life and stop being so lame".
Lionel
Lionel
Played by: William Bolz
A weird cashier in Empire Market, who always says that customers "save a lot".
- Attention Deficit... Ooh, Shiny!: He has trouble staying on topic, and a tendency to "wander" from his work station.
- Catchphrase: "You save a lot" (and variations thereof).
- Cloud Cuckoolander: He has a number of odd habits and behaviors, including repeating the same slogans over and over, fixating on the merchandise (talking about it incessantly, playing with it), wandering aimlessly from his work station, and letting his pet dog run loose in the store.
Stock Room, Maintenance
Weird Jimmy
Jimmy
Played by: Craig Johnson
The store's insane janitor. He's almost never seen without his favorite tool, Mop.
- Almighty Janitor: Jimmy isn't a total badass, but he has his moments. He's one of the only employees who knows how the store's breaker panel works, the only one who can safely navigate the store's basement, and one of only two people who knows how to recalibrate the boiler. He's also a decent shot with a handgun, knows hand-to-hand combat, and is a talented saxophone player. Also, if the nature of his death is any indication, he might have possessed Force Powers (or been Force Sensitive).
- Ascend to a Higher Plane of Existence: After being accidentally killed by Jeremy, his body vanishes, Jedi-style. His glowing, robe-clad "Force Ghost" later returns to torment Jeremy...and, in Season 4, possess the body of his twin brother, Johnny.
- Backstory: Jimmy tells his to Chad (and by extension, the audience). He was once the day manager at Empire Market; then he was demoted to night manager, which caused him to develop some mental problems and ruined his social life (causing his friends to desert him). Now, being the janitor is all he knows.
- Broomstick Quarterstaff: Uses a mop in combat during "The Basement Strikes Back" and later during season 4.
- Companion Cube: Mop, his favorite cleaning tool. He talks to "her" as if she were alive, often consults and argues with her, and later mourns her death in Season 2. After his accidental death, her "Force ghost" appears to welcome him to the spirit realm.
- Evil Laugh: Subverted; Jimmy has a rather unsettling, creepy giggle, but he's not evil.
- Familial Body Snatcher: He takes over the body of his twin brother, Johnny, so that he can resume his janitorial duties at Empire Market.
- Heroic Sacrifice: He dies being run through with Jeremy's lightsaber, while trying to protect Chad from being stabbed by Randy.
- Hidden Depths: Jimmy might be an insane, creepy janitor, but he knows the layout of Empire Market better than anyone else; in fact, he was once the day manager of the store.
- Looks Like Cesare: He has a pale complexion (due to working at night), messy dark hair, and rings around his eyes.
- Sanity Slippage: He says he underwent this after being demoted to Night Shift Manager. It eventually resulted in a second demotion to Night Custodian.
Damien Nightshade
Damien Nightshade
Played by: Ian Zander
An emo-esque, vampire-like man who was hired by Clint as the new stock boy.
- Affectionate Parody: Of Edward Cullen. Light on the "affectionate".
- Emo: His archetype.
- Heroic Sacrifice: He gives his life to save Empire Market, running into the store parking lot with the last Baby Cookie Bomb in hand.
- Killed Off for Real: Given that he's never seen or heard from again after the Season 3 finale...
- Pretty Boy: Clint hired him specifically to attract more female customers (appealing to the "Teen vampire romance" demographic). It works: the ladies can't take their eyes off him. Maggie included.
Andy Gibson
Andrew Gibson
Played by: Andy Gibson
A handsome young stock boy, who had been working as a dock worker for the last eight years until Chad promoted him.
- Animal Motifs: Horses. He has a general "cowboy" vibe (he's hard-working, plays acoustic guitar, prefers Country music, and wears flannel shirts and cowboy boots), and Chad makes him wear a horse head mask to hide his good looks.
- The Cast Show Off: Andy Gibson is an actual country music singer and songwriter
, and makes good use of his talents during his brief time on the series. - In-Series Nickname: The Empire Market employees call him "Adorable Andy".
- Meaningful Name: His surname is "Gibson", the name of a well-known guitar brand. He is later revealed to be a musician.
- Nice Guy: He seems to be a genuinely pleasant, kind, loyal employee who loves his job.
- Pretty Boy: One reason why everyone loves him.
- Put on a Bus: Chad fires him in his first (and last) episode after he catches him playing the guitar maskeless and singing an unflattering song about him to the other employees. The end of the episode shows that he went on to sign a recording contract...while still wearing his horse mask.
- Remember the New Guy?: Andy has allegedly been working at the store for eight years, and everyone seems to know who he is, even though he's never appeared in Empire Market Before.
Red Leader Foods
Maggie McCall
Margaret McCall
Played by: Karen Moeller
The new owner of Empire Market and the main antagonist of Seasons 2-4. She is the liaison for Red Leader Foods that Mr. Pepper sold Empire Market to.
- Affably Evil: Her malicious deeds are limited to manipulating people and situations around Empire Market, with an Evil Laugh and a smile on her face.
- Bad Boss: She seems to enjoy actively making her employees suffer, waging psychological warfare on them (bullying them, pitting them against each other, prohibiting them from dating), demotes Randy to Night Shift Manager for a mishap that wasn't his fault, and has Libby deported for no reason other than to make Chad miserable (out of revenge for said laser checkout system mishap).
- Big Bad: From Season 2 onwards, more or less.
- Even Evil Has Standards: Sure, Maggie is a complete and utter bitch, but even she finds Lloyd irritating.
- Evil Mentor: Becomes one to Jeremy during Season 2, turning him against Chad and giving him Chad's dream position of General Manager. She later becomes something of one to Chad during Season 4.
- Evil Laugh: Uses one whenever she's thinking or talking about her evil plans.
- Evil Redhead: She's a stand-in for Darth Sidious, and has chin-length auburn hair.
- Karma Houdini: Averted at the end of Season 3, when Champion demotes her to night shift manager for her treachery. Played Straight in the Season 4 finale: after helping Chad to become an evil dictator, and nearly getting the entire store destroyed and everyone inside killed, she simply sneaks out the back of the store in the final episode, mumbling about needing to find a new job.
- Pink Is Feminine: At the start of Season 4, she trades her trademark red blouse for a pink one.
- Red and Black and Evil All Over: She's the liaison for Red Leader Foods, and as the head of Empire Market she always wears a black suit with a red blouse (as a Shout-Out to Emperor Palpatine's Sith robes). After she's demoted to Night Manager at the end of Season 3, she trades her red blouse and black jacket for a pink blouse, symbolizing her loss of authority.
- Sanity Slippage: Averted; while she seems set to undergo this after being demoted to night shift manager (a position known for driving people to insanity), she remains surprisingly serene and sane — and just as malicious as ever.
- Villain: Exit, Stage Left: When her plan to destroy the store is foiled in the Season 4 finale, she quickly flees the store.
Libby
Libby
Played by: Kate Sprecher
Maggie's McCall's assistant from New Zealand, whom Chad begins to fall in love with.
- The Cutie: She's a sweet, innocent, soft-spoken girl who plays no part in Maggie's evil schemes (despite being her personal assistant).
- Gasshole: When she's drunk, she can out-belch Chad!
- Hair of Gold, Heart of Gold: She's the only blonde woman in the cast, and the most kind and good-hearted person by far.
- Put on a Bus: After her date with Chad in "First Kiss", she ends up being deported. (Maggie arranges it as punishment for violating the rule against dating co-workers.)
- The Bus Came Back: She briefly re-appears in Season 4 when Chad has a video call with her, to try to rub his new girlfriend, Michelle, in her face...only for his plan to blow up in his face when Libby introduces him to her husband, Brandon.
Other Characters
Ghost
Ben
Played by: Mike McCafferty
A bathrobe-clad spirit of a man who died in a drunk driving accident. He first appears to council Chad during Season 1 and help him get his life back together, and later makes a minor appearance in Season 4.
- Badass Long Robe: Subverted; it looks like an ordinary brown bathrobe with a hood.
- Homage: To Obi-Wan Kenobi.
- The Mentor
- No Name Given: He's simply referred to as "Ghost" in the series. The Blame Society wiki reveals his name to be Ben.
Hal Thompson
Hal Thompson
Played by: Aaron Yonda
An odd man who searches for bizarre items within the store, often for his "voodoo rituals". He is one of the main characters in two of Blame Society Productions' other series, "Fun Rangers" and "E-Hal".
- Canon Immigrant: Hal Thompson debuted in a different series that was going on simultaneously with "Chad Vader", called "Fun Rangers".
- Companion Cube: Baby Cookie is his. He takes her everywhere with him, treating her as if she were alive and his best friend, until Randy steals her from him in "The New Employee". However, he is able to reacquire her in the episode "Sick Day". The Season 3 finale reveals that despite his claims the the contrary, Baby Cookie does indeed talk to him.
- Crouching Moron, Hidden Badass: Hal Thompson is a complete idiot, but get between him and Baby Cookie...
- The Ditz: "I found the goat's milk." He is also the star of his very own Spinoff series, aptly titled Complete Idiot.
- Genius Ditz: At first, Hal Thomson seems like an idiot, something not helped by his unusual way of speaking, his tendency to constantly ask for things grocery stores are not normally known to have (such as live animals and doll clothes), and his generally odd demeanor. After starring in two other series running with this, he got a third of his own — titled eHow — where he turned out to be "an expert". Some of his...unusual skills later come into play at Empire Market, including pulverizing Randy and rescuing Baby Cookie in Season 3, and saving Chad's life in the Season 4 finale.
- Nerd Glasses: Of the Coke-bottle variety.
Champion J. Pepper
Champion J. Pepper
Played by: Matt Sloan
The original owner of the Empire Market, and Clint's father. He sells the store to Red Leader Foods at the start of Season 2.
- Full-Name Basis: He always refers to himself as Champion J. Pepper, though other characters call him "Champion".
- Genius Ditz: He's said and done some pretty wacky things; but he's still a kind-hearted, well accomplished businessman.
- Identical Grandson: He and Clint (being father and son) are nearly identical in appearance.
- Large Ham: From his bombastic greeting, exaggerated Texas accent, and cornpone euphemisms, to his eccentric Western-style wardrobe.
- Nice Guy: Champion, unlike Clint, is kind-hearted. He states that when he was younger, he had a personality similar to Maggie's, but learned to "think with [his] heart more than [his] head".
- Recognition Failure: He fails to recognize The General Lee in The Dukes Of Vader and confuses it for the "Pride Of Cincinnati."
- Reasonable Authority Figure: As the owner of Empire Market (and during his stint as General Manager).
- Serial Spouse: He says that Clint is the offspring of him and his third wife, indicating that he's been married at least thrice.
- Like a Son to Me: He admits that he likes Chad and sees him as a surrogate son (as stated in "The Improvised Episode"). By contrast, he and Clint aren't very close: they are never shown onscreen at the same time,note and Clint never even mentions Champion once; Champion states Clint is the son of his third wife (with whom he's implied to have a bad relationship), and that there's always been something "not right" about him.
Baby Cookie
Baby Cookie
"Hiiii Randy!"
Played by: Matt Sloan (voice)
A possibly sentient baby doll belonging to Hal Thompson. After being stolen by Randy, she begins encouraging him to do evil things.
- Barbie Doll Anatomy: Well, she is a baby doll.
- Baby-Doll Baby: Both Hal and Randy treat Baby Cookie as if she were alive, behaving protectively towards her and trying to get her food and clothing. It's weird and a bit creepy...and then she starts talking back to Randy.
- Cute and Psycho: She's an adorable baby doll...who happens to be a psychotic, sociopathic murderer.
- Creepy High-Pitched Voice: "Hiiiii, Randy!"
- Domino Mask: Her only item of clothing, besides her socks.
- Evil Doll: She is gradually revealed to be one.
- Living Toy: Possibly. Baby Cookie doesn't move, but she seems to talk to Randy telepathically and have a (very evil) intelligence and personality of her own.
- Psychic Powers: If she actually is alive, she seems to be able to not only communicate telepathically, but instantly instill people with sinister skills and knowledge (such as how to de-bone a chicken or make bombs).
Johnny
Johnny
Played by: Craig Johnson
Weird Jimmy's twin brother, who claims to be a volunteer at the Church of The Holy Jesus Flame (but in actuality was kicked out years ago for stealing from the poor).
- Churchgoing Villain: While he was attending the Church of the Holy Jesus Flame, he stole from the poor. (It isn't stated how exactly he did so, only that he was kicked out of the church for his actions.)
- Death of Personality: Undergoes this after Weird Jimmy's ghost takes complete control of his body.
- Demonic Possession: Shortly after his arrival at Empire Market, Jimmy's Force Ghost possesses his body so that he can resume his duties at Empire Market. Chad initially objects, before realizing that there are basically no downsides.
- Fighting from the Inside: After Weird Jimmy possesses his body, he tries desperately to fight him off and remain in control, to no avail.Johnny: (to Maggie) Could you...please call the nearest church? (growls in pain and exertion) C...c...CLEANUP ON AISLE FIVE!
- Hiding Behind Religion: He uses his supposed Christianity ("I'm a Jesus man!") to hide the fact that he's an opportunistic thief. He also used it as an excuse not to speak to Jimmy, his only living relative, for ten years. (He claims he found Jimmy's atheism and creepiness distasteful — even though, by his own admission, he should have tried to "save" his brother, in the religious sense, years ago.)
- Jerkass Victim: He might be a lying hypocrite who stole from the poor and neglected his own family, but it's hard not to feel sorry for him while he fights in terror as his own brother's ghost takes over his body (and then essentially gets erased when his life is taken over completely).
- Replacement Goldfish: He becomes one for Weird Jimmy.
