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Characters / Brandon Rogers

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Brandon's world is populated by a wide range of insane horrible people, so here they are.

Characters played by Brandon Rogers:

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"Try me, bitch!"
An old man in need of a pharmacist, grandfather to the POV character of Timmy.
  • Butt-Monkey: Tends to go through a lot of abuse, primarily courtesy of his borderline senility and grandson, Timmy.
  • Catchphrase: "I am a real grandpa!"
  • Cloud Cuckoo Lander: Justified, due to being senile.
  • Costume Evolution: Started off with a green sweater, then got his yellow sweater vest, and later, grey hair.
  • Dirty Old Man: Not toward any specific person, but he frequently expresses sexual interests and is rather vulgar.
  • Large Ham: Whenever he's in public.
  • Official Couple: With Donna.
  • Older Than They Look: Just look at the picture. Due to being played by a young man and because of the general Stylistic Suck of the videos, he barely even looks like a senior citizen. Later episodes give him grey-dyed hair to help with the effect.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Donna reveals his name is George, but since real conversations are rare in Brandon's videos, and the titles refer to him as Grandpa, the viewers aren't likely to think of him as "George".
  • Racist Grandpa: Demonstrates wide cultural insensitivity despite mentioning being an immigrant.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The quiet, apathetic Blue to his daughter Cathy's loud, emotional Red.
  • Retired Badass: He used to be a wrestler. And Blame.
  • Scatterbrained Senior: He's prone to losing track of where he is. In A Day at the Park he's been locked in the family car for days, and in A Day at the Beach, he's at the beach not because he wants to be, but because he's lost. Takes a more literal turn since he was shot in the head by Evil!Elmer when he was still Blame.
  • Ship Tease: Seems to have one with Donna. By "Blame The Hero", they're a couple and live together.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: Grandpa can be quite foul-mouthed.
  • The Vietnam Vet: After Timmy shoves a long piece of candy into his mouth, Grandpa congratulates him on triggering a "Vietnam flashback".
  • Wham Shot: "Blame The Hero" ends with Blame's tattoo appearing underneath Grandpa's sleeve, showing that the Blame that stayed in the 1940s is actually Grandpa.
  • What the Hell Is That Accent?: Lampshaded, since he mentions being an immigrant but not where from, and "A Day at the Park Reacts to A Day at the Park" subtitles him with "From the south? Blackish voice at least".

"I'm a mom making a difference!"
The mother of Timmy, and Grandpa's daughter. Her real name is Cathy.
  • Abusive Parent: At best she's neglectful towards her three children, particularly her baby, and she's incredibly neurotic about motherhood.
  • Caffeine Bullet Time: In A Day with Mom, she drinks a cup of coffee and gets a rush from it that prompts her to repeat her daily routine twice.
    • Subverted in that it's revealed at the end that what she calls a "cup of coffee" is in reality a syringe full of some sort of narcotic. This is even foreshadowed when she first finds the coffee cup and it has a syringe painted on it.
  • The Chew Toy: Is often the victim of hilarious slapstick, most of the time at the hands of her children.
  • Costume Evolution: The pink in her outfit and makeup has become progressively more garish. Dorian even says he feels like he's contracting diabetes just looking at it, which becomes Hypocritical Humor when we see his house.
  • Crazy Homeless People: In A Day With Mom, it's implied she's actually one of these and her family/home life is just a drug hallucination. This has since been dropped.
  • Lady Swears-a-Lot: She's vulgar and swears more than she breathes, even in front of her kids.
  • Mama Bear: As dangerous as she is, she does care for Timmy... at least, when he's telling the story.
    • It may not all be a fantasy for Timmy, since "Halloween Therapy" shows that Cathy did try to protect Timmy from the possessed puppet.
  • Nervous Wreck: Boy, and HOW.
  • No Indoor Voice: She is often prone to yelling.
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: Her name is Cathy, but it's only been used once by Donna.
  • Parental Favoritism: In Concerned Mother, she says she has no favorite children, but she does have a least favorite, which is the baby.
  • Pink Is Feminine: Her outfit is so pink she looks like a highlighter.
  • Red Oni, Blue Oni: The loud, emotional Red to her father George's quiet, apathetic Blue.
  • Sitcom Archnemesis: She and Helen hate each other's guts, had a Cat Fight in "A Day At The Park" and said they would fight each other again any day.

Welcome to Mashy Mart, thank you for bringing your fucking kids.
An employee.
  • And I Must Scream: Every iteration of Elmer has his heart painfully ripped out shortly after birth to fuel Bryce's immortality, causing them to lose the ability to feel emotion. The real Elmer has been forcibly kept as a baby for 40 years in order for Bryce to produce clones.
  • Ax-Crazy: In "Blame The Hero".
  • Brain Uploading: In Blame the Hero, Elmer demonstrates the ability to upload his consciousness into a phone and other Elmers.
  • Child Hater: Nearly always says that he hates kids whenever he appears, though unlike Helen he doesn't really lash out at them.
  • Cold-Blooded Torture: Once he gets his hands on Bryce, he uses Brandon Rogers' notebook to torture her to death and resurrects her each time.
  • Costume Evolution: His blonde hair was initially a bright yellow and definitely a wig. The more videos passed, the more his haircut changed into a bob cut and the blonde in his hair became more natural.
  • Creepy Monotone: While his monotone voice is usually comedic, it's played definitely straight in "Blame The Hero".
  • Deadpan Snarker: Even when he's not being sarcastic, the deadpan is here.
    Helen: Elmer, you're on thin ice, young man.
    Elmer: At least I can stand on ice, you fat shit.
  • The Dog Bites Back: Unfortunately for Bryce.
  • Face–Heel Turn:In "Blame the Hero", where he reveals himself to be the True Final Boss as he plans to create his own apocalypse of Elmers after Blame prevents the previous apocalypse performed by Bobby.
    • Though in the end, it's deconstructed. Since the Tattoo Parlor Elmer clone died in the past and thus never came back in the present to cause the apocalypse in the future, the timeline got back to normal. Result, Blame never came to warn his younger self and the Tattoo Parlor Elmer never found the time machine, and didn't pull his Face–Heel Turn.
  • Foreshadowing: Earlier in Blame the Hero, he says his name is of German and English origin. Come Ep. 6, and he reveals to have been working with Hitler.
  • Hero Killer: He kills Blame in the final episode of "Blame The Hero". Or so it seems.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's sarcastic and cynical but the least immoral or crass of Brandon's characters. Until Ep. 5 of "Blame The Hero". Though once the timeline gets arranged, the Elmer from the tattoo shop never became evil.
  • Manipulative Bastard: In "Blame The Hero", he manipulates Blame from the beginning to allow Elmer to enact his own apocalypse to turn the whole world into Elmers.
  • Megane: He wears glasses in "Blame The Hero".
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: Subverted. He appears to be the character used whenever a worker is called for, but they're actually all different Elmers.
  • Older Than They Look: The original Elmer looks nothing more than a year old during the events of Stuff and Sam, but was born about 40 years prior and prevented from aging by Bryce.
  • Only Sane Man: He's the only one of Brandon's characters who isn't deranged personality-wise. His backstory more than makes up for it. Subverted in "Blame The Hero" where he's the real antagonist.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: He swears more in "Blame The Hero" than in previous appearances.
  • The Stoic: Elmer doesn't exactly use anything but an apathetic tone when talking. He is physically incapable of emotion.
  • Walking Spoiler: "Stuff & Sam" suddenly makes him a hell of a lot more important to the universe's lore when his origins are revealed. This is further extended upon in "Blame the Hero" where he becomes the True Final Boss.
  • When He Smiles: The end of "Stuff and Sam" shows him genuinely smiling as he talks about his "uncle Sam".

"Jesus is my helmet."
An overly upbeat and flamboyant man that makes inspirational videos and hosts a TV show.
  • Armored Closet Gay: Sam swears he is heterosexual and is outright homophobic, despite exhibiting just about every Camp Gay behavior. It's implied he's homophobic because he has trouble accepting his sexuality.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Donna and Sam constantly bicker and insult each other, but they greatly care about one another. Donna even stabs Bryce when she is about to harm Sam.
  • Boomerang Bigot: Loathes homosexuals, but follows every stereotype, with many implications that he's in a deep Transparent Closet.
  • Breakout Character: He even gets his own show, "Stuff & Sam".
  • Brutal Honesty: An Innocently Insensitive variant.
  • Bus Crash: In the second episode of "Blame The Hero", he died in his sleep after eating bad eggs. Thankfully, considering that he appeared later, he's still alive after the events of "Blame The Hero", likely due to the timeline repair.
  • Camp Straight: Highly effeminate and prissy like a stereotypical gay man, but constantly claims to be straight otherwise.
  • Dumb Blond: Has his moments (like when he tries to grill hamburgers in a microwave). Subverted as Sam is not a natural blond; he dyed his brown hair blonde because after Donna loses her memory and forgets about her blonde son, he dyes his hair blonde to see her smile again.
  • Everyone Has Standards: Say whatever you want about Sam's flagrant bigotry, but he firmly believes "no means no", chases away Jimmy the pedophile when he gets too close to the young Timmy, and decks Jürgen when he thinks he's also a rapist.
  • Hates Being Touched: He kicks Jürgen's ass when he touches Sam (granted, Sam thought he was a rapist).
  • Heartwarming Orphan: He was an orphan as a young pre-teen, and he was a well-behaved child loved by the foster system.
  • Hidden Depths: Despite his ignorant nature (such as believing a microwave could successfully grill a hamburger) Sam is shown to be quite knowledgeable about real estate when he accidentally knocks out the realtor of an open house he and Donna go to (purely for the free snacks). When a prospective buyer stops in to look and eventually buys the house, Sam masquerades as the realtor and is aware of what closing costs are and informs the buyer that he'll have to take up any objections to it with escrow.
  • Innocently Insensitive: Even though Sam is one of the nicest of Brandon Rogers' characters, Sam doesn't seem to realize how bigoted he is and sometimes his words are quite...cruel, when he doesn't say them with vicious intent.
  • Intergenerational Friendship: Sam states he's "30 years young", and lives with his roommate and best friend Donna, who's a senior.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Sam can be mean to Donna, and sometimes sexist and homophobic, but in the end, he has his heart in the right place and tries to make people's lives better.
  • Keet: There's not a thing that doesn't make Sam peppy and excited.
  • Large Ham: In an overly cheerful and flamboyant way.
  • Lethally Stupid: This aspect of his personality and its effects are what "Stuff & Sam" is all about.
  • Manchild: Sam is innocent-minded and excited like a young child.
  • Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: The flamboyant, prissy Feminine Boy to Donna's feisty and crass Masculine Girl.
  • Meaningful Name: Sam means "name of God", and Sam is openly Christian.
  • Mistaken for Gay: Lampshaded many times and parodied; Sam swears he's not gay even if he acts like the typical Camp Gay guy. Obviously, nobody believes him.
  • Nice Guy: Zig-zagged. While not bad-natured and normally sweet, Sam has his moments of outspoken bigotry.
  • Papa Wolf: Grows to be this over the real Elmer, a.k.a Donna's newborn son that's been kept as a baby by Bryce for 40 years in order to clone him and use the clone's hearts for herself.
  • The Pollyanna: Despite his troubling experiences after meeting and being adopted by Donna that quite messed him up, Sam still grew up to be a cheerful, optimistic individual.
  • Transparent Closet: So much heavily implied that it's just funny.
  • Sex Is Evil: He makes cringeworthy music videos to teach kids and espouses that "only bad people have sex" in one about puberty. On the whole, Sam seems averse to sex (at least with a woman—he prefers adoption to having a baby "the gross way") and likely puts some of his own insecurities into the morals he teaches.
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: Sam was relatively innocent and legitimately nicer up until shortly before meeting and being adopted by Donna in his late teens, where upon a short but harsh series of disturbing events left him for the worse.

    Jürgen Klausvonschwitz
"I may not have eyesight, but I have vision!"

A fashion designer who cannot see, making him essentially useless.

  • Blind Mistake: He tends to make judgments about the environment around him that are completely off the mark, owing to his being blind.
    • He's always wrong about colors. One example is him holding a garment that's yellow and thinking it's purple (because it feels purple to him).
    • He has a Caucasian girlfriend who he thinks is black. The girlfriend is happy to keep the illusion going.
    • He wants to wear Jimmy Rustler's shirt because it feels good, but of course he doesn't know it's written with a court-ordered warning that the wearer preys on kids. Jimmy is all too happy to give him the shirt.
    • His subordinates rarely correct him and take advantage of this sometimes, either to make fun of him or simply because it benefits them. For instance, Jurgen demands that they don't use their phones during work and tries to confiscate them by having them put away on a platter, but they just throw candy bars onto the tray, knowing he won't tell the difference.
  • Eccentric Artist: He thinks he can "feel" colors and often goes to odd lengths to get inspiration, like camping on an urban park, getting naked and imitating the sounds of birds.
  • Everyone Has Standards: When he meets his male employee’s “girlfriend-” who is frequently either mistaken for or lampshaded as being a man in drag— Jurgen sincerely apologizes for all the gay jokes he had made before.
  • Eye Scream: He stabs his eyes with scissors in A Day at the Beach.
  • Fashion Designer: His profession, which he's very passionate and artistic about, even though his blindness limits him more than he thinks.
  • Ooh, Me Accent's Slipping: Played for Laughs in "Beauty is Blind" when Jurgen trips and is "in so much pain, he lost his accent".
  • Status Quo Is God: In A Day at the Beach, thanks to time travel, his eyesight is restored. Then he stabs his eyes out with scissors after seeing Darlene and Kathleen make out.
  • Those Wacky Nazis: He's the subject of a few jokes of this nature in "A Day at the Park", like setting up a campsite to concentrate on his artistic vision and calling it a "concentration camp".

    Bryce Tankthrust, the CEO
"I had my heart surgically removed with my ovaries last july."

The CEO of a big company. She is a corrupt and maddened woman that mistreats all of her subordinates.

  • Abusive Precursor: Every Elmer in the Brandon Rogers EU was created by her so that she could harvest their hearts and use them for slave-labor. She is also not above just killing them when they fail her or if she needs to vent her anger on someone.
  • Ain't Too Proud to Beg: She begs Elmer to have mercy on her as he tortures her. As Elmer points out, he's only showing her the mercy she showed to all the Elmers she cloned to rip their hearts for herself.
  • Alas, Poor Villain: A surprising display seen in the third episode of "Blame the Hero".
  • Alpha Bitch: She was one in her youth. Though her kindness towards Bobby shows she was more of a Lovable Alpha Bitch. She loses the "lovable" side after her disturbing romantic gesture causes Bobby to reject her.
  • And I Must Scream: The original Elmer clone enacts his vengeance upon Bryce by resurrecting her with Brandon's book, inflicting the same crippling injuries that she gave him and making her helpless and completely immortal to prolong her suffering.
  • Artistic License – Biology: It goes without saying that without a heart, Bryce wouldn't even be alive, yet she's perfectly fine with a heartless chest when she's ripping her own heart as a child and having heart transplants from the Elmers.
  • Asshole Victim: See above.
  • Ax-Crazy: Murders her ex-boyfriends/husbands who try to leave her and is overall a bloody thirsty psychopath.
  • Bad Boss: She is evil, manipulative and corrupt. She even fake hires people just to make them work for free, and even denies them off days.
  • Bare Your Midriff: Her trademark red suit does this.
  • Beauty Is Bad: A woman who gets a lot of (unfortunate) admirers, and is outright rotten to the core.
  • Big Bad: Of "Stuff and Sam".
  • Black Widow: "CEO Hates Valentines" reveals she has been killing her own boyfriends whenever they break up with her.
  • Bling-Bling-BANG!: Owns a golden gun which is her main sidearm.
  • Brainy Brunette: She has auburn hair and is a goddamn mastermind.
  • Cloudcuckoolander: In her first appearance at least, she is prone to strange behaviors, including working out at a playground, randomly chasing a squirrel and responding to accidentally dropping her cell phone in a glass of water by asking her assistant if she sounds like a mermaid.
  • Comedic Sociopathy: Although she's clearly psychotic, she's still damn hilarious.
  • Corrupt Corporate Executive: This character's whole point. She's a powerful but heartless CEO (literally) who treats her employees and clients like trash. And of course, there's the whole "harvesting hearts from clones of a baby to attain immortality" thing.
  • Creepy Child: She became this after ripping her heart out of her chest.
  • Cute and Psycho: As a child, when she tore out her heart and committed her first murder.
  • Dark Action Girl: She knows how to wield a gun.
  • Evil Redhead: She's a natural redhead.
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: She couldn't bring herself to kill Bobby until she turned into the worst version of herself.
  • Even Evil Has Standards:
    • Though it was before her Sanity Slippage, as a child, Bryce was totally against bullying and stood up for Bobby.
    • Even she seems to be disgusted with Jimmy Rustler being a pedophile and threatens to call his parole officer if he doesn't put on his court-mandated T-shirt warning people that he's a predator during their company picnic.
  • Faux Affably Evil: She puts on a cheesy bright demeanor, but it's horribly fake and she has no real morals.
  • Fiery Redhead: Exaggerated. As a child, she killed Bobby's dad when Bobby broke her heart.
  • Greater-Scope Villain: In the original timeline, she is the reason for Bobby Worst's Start of Darkness and she is the source of all of the Elmers that populate their world, the oldest of which would going on to become the Overarching Villain of "Blame the Hero."
  • Humanoid Abomination: Has transcended humanity and became an almost completely immortal being that begins to look like a monster if the current human heart fueling her is running on dry. She is still mortal, however, which she gets to experience over and over at Elmer's hands.
  • Knight of Cerebus: She is one of the first serious villains in Brandon Roger's videos who isn't Affably Evil.
  • Lack of Empathy: She didn't become head of the company by being a good person.
  • Laughably Evil: She may be the most evil character in Rogers' universe, but she's also still a Rogers character.
  • Meaningful Name: Bryce means "force", and Bryce Tankthrust is definitely a woman with an iron fist who's not afraid to use force to get to her ends.
  • Obliquely Obfuscated Occupation:
    • We never actually know what Bryce's company does. We get details on ways she saves money (usually at the expense of her employees) and how she accumulates investors, but the finer details are never openly given.
    • In "Sam & Stuff", she runs a private adoption agency, but really that's just a cover for a clone-manufacturing facility that creates Elmers for slave-labor and organ-farming.
  • Only Friend: As a child, she was Bobby's only friend.
  • Perpetual Smiler: Of the Slasher Smile variety.
  • Pet the Dog: She stood up for Bobby when he was being bullied, and seemed to genuinely love him.
  • Politically Incorrect Villain: She whines about having a Chinese Uber driver and goes out of her way to tell a gay boy that it doesn't get better.
  • President Evil: At least until losing the re-election anyway.
  • Puppy Love: With Bobby when they were kids. Too bad it went horribly wrong...
  • Really Gets Around: Her "servicings".
  • Redemption Equals Death: In "Blame The Hero" she commits a Heroic Sacrifice by distracting Bobby in order to let Blame go back in time.
  • Red Is Violent: A psychotic woman who is usually seen wearing a red suit and skirt.
  • Rich Bitch: She's an Entitled Bitch with a Kill the Poor opinion towards her own employees and snobby contempt for the world around her.
  • Sanity Slippage: In grade school, after her heart literally shattered, she became the cold, ruthless sociopathic woman she is today.
  • Serious Business: In "Blame The Hero", Bryce is kept in captivity by Elmer and is kept alive for "a specific purpose". She initially refuses to help Blame go retrieve the time machine, but the instant Elmer tells her Bobby is back, she breaks out of her chains and jumps at the call.
    Bryce: Out of my fucking way!
  • Slasher Smile: Her default expression.
  • Sleeping Their Way to the Top: Offhandedly mentions achieving her role by doing so.
  • The Sociopath: Enjoys tormenting and killing people for her own amusement.
  • Trademark Favorite Food: During her time as President, she seemed to have developed an addiction to Diet Coke.
  • Trumplica: She's a filthy rich, cutthroat businesswoman who at one point becomes the president of the USA.
  • Unholy Matrimony: With Bobby in the end of "Blame The Hero".
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: "Sweet" is a big word, considering Bryce was an Alpha Bitch in elementary school, but she still had morals and defended Bobby when he was bullied. After her heart broke (literally), she became the bloodthirsty madwoman she is today.
  • Villainous Friendship: In the new timeline after the events of "Blame the Hero", she has one with Bobby Worst. They even work together in a False Flag Operation as a gambit to her her the Presidency.
  • We Used to Be Friends: "Blame The Hero" reveals that Bryce and Bobby Worst, known at the time as Eric were friends and had a Puppy Love romance. Unfortunately, the next day, Bryce gave him her heart (literally), prompting Bobby to understandably vomit on her heart, which caused her to drop it and shatter on the ground. Now heartless (again, literally) and with the kids and Coach Best laughing at her, she killed Bobby's dad in fury and Bobby got blamed for the murder, which made Bobby swear revenge against Bryce.
  • Woman Scorned:
  • Yandere: "CEO Hates Valentines" implies this by how she kills the men who leave her (or at least try to).

    Dorian Ditsen
"Move, I'm gay!"

An employee of the office Bryce runs. He makes a point of being very gay and thinks this makes him superior.

  • Alliterative Name: Dorian Ditsen.
  • Aloof Big Brother: To Damian, who he disowns as his brother due to him being straight.
  • Ascended Extra: Goes to being a character among others in the Angry Office sketches to have a video sketch to himself called "Things All Gays Say", with a sequel to that as well.
  • Ass Shove: The infamous Sanchez Steamer.
  • All Gays Are Promiscuous: In "Things All Gays Say", Dorian tells many sexual anecdotes and tries to have sex with his unseen partner.
    Dorian: If you're not gonna eat my gorgonzola dippers... then you're not eating my ass!
  • Bad Boss: Towards his assistant Keeche.
  • Camp Gay: Very much so, and tries to use it as an excuse to get out of work.
  • Child Hater: "I just hope all the kids die."
  • Crazy Jealous Guy: Downplayed as he doesn't get violent, but rather clingy and jealous when his assistant Diesel falls for Regina's assistant Kevin and eventually dumps him for the latter.
  • Cure Your Gays: Inverted and parodied. He tries to send his straight brother to a "Straight Camp".
  • Deadpan Snarker: Big time.
  • Effeminate Misogynistic Guy: "I wish I could destroy all the vaginas."
  • Jerkass: Rude to absolutely everyone, hates kids, is sexist and uses his homosexuality as a free-pass for work.
  • Hypocrite: Believes he get can his straight brother "fixed" at a conversion camp, despite the reverse being incredibly homophobic.
  • Lazy Bum: Dumps the work he doesn't want to do on his assistant Keeche.
  • Really Gets Around: There's a lot of sexual anecdotes in "Things All Gays Say".
  • Sunglasses at Night: He's rarely seen without sunglasses.
  • Token Good Teammate: Immensely downplayed, as he's still a huge Jerkass, but "A Day At The Park" portrays him as the least Jerkass-y of his coworkers, especially when compared to Bryce and Jimmy.

    Lord Mingeworthy
"Oh dear, I seem to have spotted a cunt. Good day!"

  • Abusive Parent: Somehow a worse example than Mom. He abuses his disabled son, and forces his "British" lifestyle on his other son, who just wants to be American.
  • Big Bad: He and his wife serve as this for Episode 4 of "Blame The Hero".
  • British Teeth: Wears fake crooked teeth to enforce the British stereotype. They're prone to coming dislodged.
  • Fake Brit: In-Universe. He's actually an American who's very obsessed with British culture, so he decided to become a "Brit".
  • Mean Brit: While he's not actually British, he tries to be, and is not only a nasty person, but outright abusive to his sons.
  • Meaningful Name: His chosen last name sounds stereotypically British and incorporates the vulgar slang "minge", referring to a woman's privates, suggesting that he sees himself as deserving of female attention. It also rhymes with "cringeworthy", showing how horribly he understands the Brits and how poorly he represents them.
  • Offing the Offspring: Along with his wife, he tried killing their son, but it only resulted in him being paraplegic.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: The Ugly Guy to Lady Mingeworthy's Hot Wife.
  • Uncanny Valley Makeup: Wears pale blue face makeup and a white wig with a Mad Hatter-esque suit to show his grotesque ignorance of British culture and history.

    Japanese Girlfriend
"If you cut sushi like you suck dick, I'd have a three course meal by now."

  • Ambiguous Gender: While she is played by a man, her manly appearance makes people wonder if she's just manly looking or is a guy in drag. This quote from her adds on doubts:
    Japanese Girlfriend: [reacting to "A Day At The Park"] It makes me wanna cut my own dic—vagina!
  • Ambiguous Gender Identity: An addendum to the above, another possibility is that she's a trans woman, and Mr. Rimmer seems to think this is the case in "A Day at the Park"; it's still unclear though.
  • Asian Speekee Engrish: Her mode of speaking, which is part of her act.
  • Asian Rudeness: A Japanese girl who constantly belittles and abuses her boyfriend, and is overall a pretty irritable person.
  • Bastard Girlfriend / Domestic Abuse: Towards her boyfriend, though it's Played for Laughs.
  • Butt-Monkey: The abuse she inflicts on her boyfriend usually gets returned to her.
  • Deadpan Snarker: At her boyfriend's expense.
    Japanese Girlfriend: Eat my ass.
    American Boyfriend: Suck my dick!
    Japanese Girlfriend: [whispers, in her boyfriend's face] But I am allergic to shrimp.
  • Destructive Romance: Parodied with her boyfriend. Both are openly hating each other on one scene, and having sex on another.
  • Fake Nationality: She goes to extreme lengths to act like a stereotypical Asian and almost nobody who encounters her is none the wiser. Given that Brandon's world is a hilariously intolerant one, it's no surprise, really.
  • Jerkass: If her treatment of her boyfriend won't convince you, her insulting anyone she meets instantly will.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: Enforced since she is a Brandon Rogers character, and even Jürgen, who is blind nonetheless, mistakes her constantly for a man!
  • Laser-Guided Karma: Her boyfriend is no Extreme Doormat and can give her a taste of her own medicine.
  • Master Actor: Appears to be one since she's faking her nationality.
  • Meganekko: She wears pink glasses.
  • No Name Given: No one knows her real name and is solely referred as "Japanese Girlfriend". It's lampshaded in "A Day At The Park Reacts To A Day At The Park".
  • Paper Fan of Doom: Constantly wacks her boyfriend with her hand fan.
  • Slapstick Knows No Gender: The fact she's portrayed by a man aside, she gets into hilarious moments of slapstick, most of the time courtesy of her boyfriend.

    Sebastian Hernandez

A somewhat naive Mexican child.

  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He tends to be selfish and inconsiderate, but he's not outright malicious.
  • Mr. Imagination: Despite his un-child like tendencies, he and Ignacio have wide imaginations like kids their age do.
  • Sensitive Guy and Manly Man: The Manly Man to Ignacio's Sensitive Guy.
  • Troubling Unchild Like Behavior: He and his friend, Ignacio, have shown more than once that their interests are far beyond the innocence of elementary school kids.
  • Vague Age: He and Ignacio have no clue what ages they are. At the very least, they're old enough to be in elementary school.

    Helen Brownstein
"Why don't you get your math done before you get pregnant!"

A hall monitor who has a love/hate relationship with her job.

  • A-Cup Angst: Is convinced her husband left her because of her small cup size.
  • Butt-Monkey: Courtesy of the kids at the school she works in.
  • Child Hater: Helen loathes kids with a passion despite constantly getting jobs that involve rearing them. To be fair, the ones that she has to put up with are far from innocent.
  • Crazy Cat Lady: Implied by how her signature blue T-shirt with kittens on it.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Almost everything she says that's not vulgarities is snark.
  • The Dragon: To Big Bad Bryce in Stuff and Sam, since Helen works under her and intentionally stands as Sam's biggest obstacle in his dream of adopting a baby, second only to Bryce herself.
  • Evil Redhead: Downplayed. She's rather a "Jerkass Redhead".
  • Four Eyes, Zero Soul: Downplayed as she's more of a Jerkass, but considering she works for Bryce in "Sam And Stuff", she fits this trope.
  • Fiery Redhead: Downplayed as she's more blunt and a Jerkass, but if her buttons are pushed (by Cathy, for example), it can be played straight.
  • Hypocritical Humor: While she's supervising detention: "No talking!" [into a megaphone] "THIS IS A PLACE OF SILENCE!!"
  • Insult Backfire: Helen discovers unflattering drawings of herself that she thinks were made by the children but were apparently drawn by the principal. She outright tells them that the insults not only don't bother her, but with at least one of them, she almost seems to be flattered.
    Helen: (on a picture of her giving a bunch of blowjobs) Don't laugh, Diane, this is a good night for me.
  • I Was Quite a Looker: Back in her wrestling days, she was actually a beautiful young woman. But after her fight with Grandpa where he beat her with a chair, her face "became all fucked up".
  • Jerkass Has a Point: She's a terrible person, but the things she has to put up with almost justify her behavior.
  • Lady Looks Like a Dude: Helps she's portrayed by a man, but her manly appearance has been joked around a lot.
  • Lady Swears-a-Lot: Swears in almost every sentence she speaks and is quite a crude individual.
  • Meganekko: Averted. She's a Gonk with glasses.
  • Neck Snap: Survived one at the hands of Sam.
  • New Job as the Plot Demands: She starts off as a hall monitor. In "Stuff & Sam" she works at an adoption agency, later, in "A Day at the Beach", she is a lifeguard since she was fired from the school. At the end of that same episode, she is a hall monitor again. She also moonlights as Ball Brownstein, the swimming coach. And she has a stint as a wrestling coach in "Helen Trains a Wrestler", where it's also revealed that she used to be a boxer.
  • Stoic Spectacles: Wears glasses and speaks with a deadpan voice tone.
  • Red-Headed Stepchild: Has bright red hair and life is not kind to her.
  • Sitcom Archnemesis: She and Cathy hate each other's guts, had a Cat Fight in "A Day At The Park" and said they would fight each other again any day.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: "Swimming Instructor From Hell" reveals that Helen dresses up as her "brother" Ball Brownstein, acting as both the Hall Monitor and Swimming Instructor to "beat the system".

"When I die, I'm going to hell for life!"

A hard thug.

  • Ascended Extra: He was a recurring character in Brandon's videos until he became the protagonist of "Blame The Hero".
  • Brainy Brunette: Averted. Blame is a natural brunette and is far from being bright.
  • The Casanova: Has gotten all of his adoptive mothers pregnant and the primary reason why he goes through time is to stop himself from getting a tattoo that won't get girls to sleep with him.
  • The Ditz: Let's just say there are words that Blame doesn't understand. It's lampshaded many times by characters, especially Elmer.
  • Et Tu, Brute?: He's visibly distraught and betrayed when he learns Elmer was Evil All Along and played him like a pawn since the beginning.
  • Even Thugs Have Standards: He will not hesitate to throw a woman out of her car to steal the vehicle and accidentally kidnap her child in the passenger seat...but he becomes visibly distressed after swearing in front of the kid.
  • Face of a Thug: Sure he's a tough-as-nails thug, but he's not a bad person at heart.
  • Foreshadowing: He screams "Try me, bitch!" to a Elmer guard restraining him. "Try me, bitch!" is a Grandpa quote that became iconic via Memetic Mutation. Turns out, he becomes Grandpa.
  • Idiot Hero: He's the universe's only hope to fix history's timeline, but Blame has a severe lack of logic and is prone to a few ditzy moments.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He's a hard thug that curses a lot, steals, kills (when he's bored) and fights, but he has good intentions, clearly loves his friends and is determinate into fixing the timeline in "Blame The Hero".
  • Only Known by Their Nickname: "Blame" is his thug alias. Turns out he's Sebastian Hernandez at 22 years old.
  • Plot Allergy: Claims to be allergic to any food that is remotely phallic in shape.
  • Really Gets Around: See The Casanova.
  • Suddenly SHOUTING!: One second he speaks normally, THE NEXT ONE HE'S RAISING HIS VOICE, DAWG.
  • Time Traveler: "A Day At The Beach" actually reveals that he's Sebastian from the future. The whole plot of "Blame The Hero" is about him travelling through time to save an apocalypse from happening.
  • Used to Be a Sweet Kid: While not innocent, Blame used to be a naive and playful (if destructive) child. More specifically, he used to be Sebastian.
  • Verbal Tic: He has a tendency to make a clicking sound out of the corner of his mouth before he says something important, as a stereotypical "street" tic. He also says "dawg" a lot.
  • Walking Spoiler: He's actually Sebastian aged 22. He's also Grandpa aged whatever-years-old, as revealed by the ending of Blame The Hero.
  • Would Hit a Girl: Punched Bryce when she "startled him", jabbed Kathlene in the throat, threatened to kill Lady Mingeworthy and killed a Nazi woman in "Blame The Hero".
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: Some videos show Blame with dyed metallic purple hair.

"Hello, daddy."

An internet-famous talking cat.

  • Affectionate Nickname: His owner calls him "Cliffy".
  • Berserk Button: He goes apeshit when he sees glasses, as the poor "What's Trending" host and Grandpa discovered.
  • Bitch in Sheep's Clothing: Clifton is your typical sweet cat when his owner's friends are around, but is more of a brat when alone with him.
  • Catchphrase: "Fuck you, daddy!" seems to be this.
  • Cats Are Mean: Yes, it's Brandon Rogers as a cat, and he's very mean-spirited to his owner Lenny despite the fact that he's devoted to him.
  • Cats Are Snarkers: He has his moments of snarking.
  • Cats Hate Water: His owner sprays him with a water bottle each time he's misbehaving, and Clifton loathes it.
  • Cool Cat: A talking one to boot. But it's only how his owner's friends and the Internet sees him, otherwise he's a dick to his owner.
  • The Internet Is for Cats: The internet fell in love with him, and it helps that he's a talking cat.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Sure, he's a spoiled bratty cat, but he appears to actually care about Lenny by "A Day At The Beach".
  • Gag Penis: His big red penis is often prominently displayed, though censored.
  • Pet the Dog: He cuddles against his owner at the end of "A Day At The Beach".
  • Spoiled Brat: To poor Lenny's dismay.
  • Talking Animal: A cat that speaks fluent english, including swears.
  • Verbal Tic: Calling his owner "daddy", or telling him "fuck you, daddy".

    Darlene Cornruben
"My name is Darlene and I'm an astrological lesbian."

  • Ambiguously Bi: She's revealed to have a stash of dildo's, they keep her from ending it all.
  • Balloon Belly: What her pregnancy actually is: she ate too much mud and it accumulated into her stomach.
  • Granola Girl: She's so extremely hippie that she eats mud instead of just being a vegetarian, because she considers taking plants' lives just as bad as eating animals.
  • Happily Married: With Kathleen.
  • Meganekko: Averted. Even if she wears glasses, she's extremely unattractive.

    Lucious Cowpussy
An Old Western bandit working with a prostitute to find a town of immortality.
  • Fish out of Temporal Water: In "A Day at the Beach", he goes with his girlfriend to modern times, and is quickly startled by things like medicine and gay rights that have taken over in modern times.
Lucious: It appears we landed in the age of witchcraft, my dear.
  • Immortality Seeker: His goal throughout Normal Western Movie is to get to Grimehollow, the town where nobody ever dies.
    Lucious: And you bet your seven-year-old ass I'm plannin' on an immortality of banditism.
  • Rape, Pillage, and Burn: To quote Lucious himself:
Lucious: I rape and I kill, and I only do the second if I have energy after the first.
  • Shout-Out: He used to be a chef in the game Oregon Trail, up until he accidentally poisoned a white guy.
    Lucious: And in these times, poisoning one o' thems is worth ten of us normal-coloreds.

"Technically, this is slavery cause we're not getting paid."

An elementary schooler who's everyone's punching bag.

  • All of the Other Reindeer: Everyone bullies him, even his own father.
  • Break the Cutie: The way he says "dad?" as Bryce repeatedly stabs his father in front of him is absolutely gut-wrenching and you will feel bad for him.
  • Butt-Monkey: Constantly tormented by his peers, though he brings it on himself.
  • Catchphrase: "I DON'T CARE!" and "IT'S NOT FAIR!".
  • Deadpan Snarker: Only in "That Kid in P.E.":
    Bully: Hey Eric, I heard you can't pronounce vowels.
  • Dirty Kid: Spied on his teacher's butthole and asked his classmate Samantha to "come over and sit on it".
  • Forced to Watch: He could only do much when he witnessed his Only Friend, Bryce murder his father in rage.
  • Freak Out: After his father's death, he swears revenge on Bryce and the kids who bully him, saying one day he'll turn them into "the worst versions of themselves". That's how Bobby Worst was born.
  • Groin Attack: Happens to him twice. The first is self inflicted, and the second is from his friend.
  • He-Man Woman Hater: "Why do all the girls get their own locker room? You know what they have, right: vaginas."
  • Malicious Misnaming: He is called "Eric" several times in his introductory video. As revealed in the third "Blame the Hero," Eric isn't even his real name—it's what his father the gym teacher called Bobby at school to pretend he wasn't his son.
  • Meaningful Name: Though it's not his real name, "Eric" means "ruler". Bobby Worst ends up ruling over the dystopian United States of Britain.
  • Screams Like a Little Girl: When his classmate Barry throws a ball at the fence he's leaning to, he lets out a hilarious high-pitch screech.
  • Then Let Me Be Evil: Gets falsely accused of his father's murder, and from this point on, swears revenge on Bryce and becomes the villain Bobby Worst.
  • Took a Level in Jerkass: He became the ruthless psychotic Bobby Worst.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: "That Kid in P.E." shows Eric as a Bratty Half-Pint who puts the torment of his classmates upon himself by being a jerk and insulting everyone. However, in "Blame The Hero", this is toned down as Eric is simply bullied for no reason which makes him more of The Woobie. Averted once he pulls a Face–Heel Turn.
  • Trauma Conga Line: Poor Eric. He gets constantly, bullied, even by his own father who's ashamed to have a "loser son" like him, his Only Friend and first love Bryce Tankthrust kills his father and he gets framed for it by his bullies. No wonder he became a villain.
  • Troubling Un Child Like Behavior: In his introduction video, he constantly swears, make vulgar comments, comes to class late and drunk, and spies on his teacher's butthole.
  • Vomit Indiscretion Shot: Happens twice. Once in "That Kid in P.E." when his classmate kicked him in the groin, the second in "Blame The Hero" after Bryce pulled out her heart from her chest and handed it to him.
  • Walking Spoiler: He's actually Bobby Worst when he was a child.
  • "Well Done, Son!" Guy: All he wants is for his father to be proud of him.

    Flint Dicker

  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Well, “gold” may be pushing it, but it’s implied that deep down he does have some benignity, see Took a Level in Kindness.
  • Kent Brockman News: He's an extremely rude and foul-mouthed journalist, even on live broadcast.
  • Took a Level in Kindness: In the future he seems to have a more calm and warm demeanor during what seemed to be his final news report as he thanks his audience after giving a speech about love.

    Marisol De La Gorgonzola 
A tiny-handed practicing therapist (as in, she's still practicing).
  • The Shrink: Of the useless variety, with it being implied that she doesn't really has any professional skill in her therapy sessions.

    Coach Ball Brownstein
"My name is Coach Ball Browstein and I'm the swimming instructor at this goddamn fucking elementary school."

The disabled brother of Helen who takes the job of swim coach.

    Alex Rimmer 
An eccentric acting teacher who clearly doesn't know what he's doing.

    Arlo Dittman

The man behind kids' show "Magic Funhouse!" who makes life hell for his coworkers.

    Bobby Worst
"I'm not reaching for the stars, I just want everyone to love me... and then I want to kill all of them."

An evil villain.

  • Alliterative Name: His real name is Bobby Best.
  • All of the Other Reindeer: As a child, the rest of his class relentlessly mocked and bullied him. UntilBryce decides to make him her boyfriend.
  • Anything That Moves: Has had sex with men, women, and according to him, a dying dog.
  • Ax-Crazy: He believes in incest and car accidents.
  • Big Bad: Of Blame The Hero.At least, until Episode 5.
  • Card-Carrying Villain: Introduces himself as such-
    Bobby: I'm a villain, I'm a bad guy.
  • Child Hater: Makes several comments alluding to antipathy towards children. Notably, he plans to blow up an orphanage, and draws himself with a noticeable erection in his plan for it.
  • Dark Is Evil: Loves black suits.
  • Depraved Bisexual: He has two men as henchmen/lovers but as a child, he was in a relationship with Bryce Tankthrust, whom he ended up being with at the end of "Blame The Hero".
  • Even Evil Has Loved Ones: In the last episode of "Blame The Hero", he and Bryce are a couple. An evil one.
  • Even Evil Has Standards: Played for Laughs in every instance.
    • When he plans on deciding what to order at Starbucks while at the cashier but draws the line when his minion offers to send his back for almond milk.
    • When he meets his sister, he is very much into the idea of committing incest with her. When he finds out that she is actually his daughter, it changes his tune to disgust.
  • Evil Is Petty: Played for Laughs in his first appearance, where his acts of villainy include kicking babies out of strollers and insulting people from the tops of buildings.
  • Freudian Excuse: Episode 3 of "Blame The Hero" reveals that he has a doozy of one: from his father being a dick who pretended they weren’t related at his elementary school- even joining in when other kids would bully him in gym class- to said bullying to Bryce stabbing her heart out in front of him and murdering his father in vengeance after Bobby understandably throws up on and shatters her heart-literally.
  • From Nobody to Nightmare: In his childhood as Eric he was a petulant loser everybody in his class made fun of. After some events he became the horrid villain he is now.
    • Even worse in-universe: in his first appearance, Bobby seems like a very Poke the Poodle villain. His "evil deeds" include farting in an elevator, berating his henchmen, and waiting to decide what to order until he's at the drive thru window. Come "Blame the Hero," and he's successfully nuked the planet, killed or transformed everyone on it , and killed Bryce Tankthrust, the only person he'd ever felt positively towards.
  • Guy Liner: Just look at him.
  • Green and Mean: After the nuclear bomb he dropped caused him to become "the worst version of himself".
  • Hell-Bent for Leather: He wears leather suits that are so tight, it makes "shit come out the neck" when he craps himself.
  • Hilariously Abusive Childhood: Bobby was picked on by everyone else at his school including his own father, who even pretended they weren't related.
  • I'm a Humanitarian: Episode 3 of "Blame The Hero" reveals that he eats people.
  • Jerkass to One: While Bobby is a default misanthrope, in "Blame the Hero" the one person he hates most of all was Bryce Tankthrust for killing his father and then inadvertently framing him for it, this being his Start of Darkness. After the events of "Blame the Hero", that timeline was erased and the two of them develop a Villainous Friendship in the new one.
  • Laughably Evil: His whole character.
  • Missing Mom: His mother doesn't seem to be around. She might implied to be deceased since he asks his father if him abandoning him means he's an orphan.
  • Morality Pet: He seems to be the only person Bryce shows genuine kindness to.
  • Poke the Poodle: While the events of "Blame the Hero" prove that he is very much capable of being a genuine threat to the world, most of his evil acts are more annoying and inconvenient than dangerous. Such acts include: kicking babies out of strollers, shoving people, wishing people have an "evil day", going to the Starbucks Drive-Thru and only deciding what he wants until he gets to the cashier, trying to get someone a job at Walmart, breaking into people's houses just to clog their toilets, shouting insults and racial slurs, kidnapping children from the hospital just to drop them off in the bad parts of town and so on.
  • Psychopathic Man Child: Not much has changed since he was a child, though he has become even more psychotic and maintains his whiny personality.
  • Puppy Love: Had one with Bryce when they were children. It went awry horribly in the original timeline. In the new timeline they develop a Villainous Friendship.
  • The Reveal: He is Eric from the "That Kid in P.E" short.
  • Revenge: Swears to avenge his father's death by the hands of Bryce Tankthrust.
  • Skunk Stripe: Has two white streaks in his dark hair.
  • Uncanny Valley Makeup He wears ridiculously tacky lime green makeup.
  • Unholy Matrimony: With Bryce at the end of "Blame The Hero".
  • Villain Song: Episode 3 of "Blame The Hero" has he sing a Humans Are Bastards song to Suck and Swallow.
  • We Used to Be Friends: "Blame The Hero" reveals that Bryce and Bobby, known at the time as Eric were friends and had a Puppy Love romance. Unfortunately, the next day, Bryce gave him his heart (literally), prompting Bobby to understandably vomit on her heart, which caused her to drop it and shatter on the ground. Now heartless (again, literally) and with the kids and Coach Best laughing at her, she killed Bobby's dad in fury and Bobby got blamed for the murder, which made Bobby swear revenge against Bryce.
  • Would Hurt a Child: Gleefully kicks a baby out of a stroller.
  • You Killed My Father: The reason for his vendetta against Bryce.

    Blah Blah The Clown 

Edward "Eddie" Oswald/"Blah Blah The Clown"
"Who the fuck said stairs were fun on acid?"

A clown from a children's TV Show.

  • Abusive Parents: His mother Melora is a total bitch to him who constantly mocks him, hits him and never once supports him in his dreams. No wonder he became so messed up.
  • Addled Addict: A case of Black Comedy: Blah Blah is stated to be addicted at least to acid, and said he "succesfully completed rehab ten times".
  • The Alcoholic: Five years ago, he drank, passed out and let kids locked in a room which he forgot were in there. It doesn't answer when he knocks and he calls it a relief.
  • An Arm and a Leg: For an unknown reason, he lost both his hands and wears robotic prosthesis to replace them. It's revealed in "BLOOD AND MAKEUP: The Last Laugh of Blah Blah The Clown" that, during his escape from the police station, they were chopped off by Wendy to free him from his shackles, who also built him the robotic ones while they were on the run.
  • And I Must Scream: Turns out he's in a psychiatric hospital and he's forced to take pills that makes him think he's a clown and that his doctors are puppets. When he doesn't take his medication (that his doctors refer as "candy"), they force it into him to keep him trapped in his clown psychosis. That said, It's revealed he's in there for a VERY good reason. Or it seems like it at first anyway.
  • Artificial Limbs: His "cyborg" hands.
  • Ax-Crazy: He's very mentally unstable, and "BLOOD AND MAKEUP: The Last Laugh of Blah Blah The Clown" reveals that he's actually a serial killer. Or he seems like one at first. All the people he allegedly killed either killed themselves or each other under the influence of the Blah Blah bars.
  • Butt-Monkey: Nothing goes right for this poor clown.
  • Cloudcuckoo Lander: A pretty shocking variant. He's a psychiatric hospital patient, and the "candies" (pills) he takes gives him the illusion he's a clown and that the doctors working on his case are puppets.
  • Creepy Blue Eyes: Played with. His eyes are white as part of his clown costume, but his real eyes are blue, and the creepy thing about it is how lifeless they seem due to how drugged up "Blah Blah" is.
  • Deadpan Snarker: When it comes to his puppet pals.
  • Depraved Kids' Show Host: Just like Arlo, he's haughty and a huge dick to his coworkers behind the scenes.
  • Disabled Snarker: Just because he lost both his hands and are replaced by robotic ones, doesn't mean he can't be sarcastic about it.
  • Frame-Up: It turns out that he never committed the murders he was charged with. Instead, the Blah Blah bars, the candy he was promoting, had made the victims hallucinate that everyone they saw, including themselves, were clowns, prompting them to kill others or themselves. Clive Butler, the producer of the candy, did not initially know of this effect, but once he did, he let Eddie take the blame.
  • Friend to All Children: Inverted. He claims children love him, but a kid he thought liked him actually said they didn't and seemed afraid (though it's not what the subtitles say).
  • Freudian Excuse: His mother's abuse of him contributed into his anger issues. Though she claims having no idea what caused it.
  • Given Name Reveal: His full name is revealed to be Edward (Eddie for short) Oswald.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Absolutely everything angers him while working on the set of Blah Blah The Clown, except for Wendy and Daniel.
  • Heart Symbol: His makeup includes hearts around his eyes.
  • How We Got Here: "BLOOD AND MAKEUP: The Last Laugh of Blah Blah The Clown" explain his backstory and how it lead to him being in a mental hospital in a mockumentary style.
  • Ironic Name: The name of his show is "Quiet Time with Blah Blah The Clown".
  • It's All About Me: Getting the role of Blah Blah got to Eddie's head, that he started throwing fits when things didn't go his way and treated his coworkers like they were below him, which does not do him any favors when he's suspected of murder.
  • Monster Clown: Downplayed. He doesn't act like one, but if you're afraid of clowns, you'll definitely be uncomfortable watching those white eyes...
  • Non-Ironic Clown: Mercilessly parodied. He tries to play off like he's one, but his uncanny Monster Clown-esque design and very unkid-friendly behavior doesn't sell it.
  • Only Sane Man: Considers himself this due to living with "asshole puppet roommates" (also helps he's the only human).
  • Pet the Dog: Wendy and his best friend Daniel are the only people he's genuinely nice to.
  • Real Men Wear Pink: And put pink makeup. And have pink highlights in their hair.
  • The Reveal: He's actually a mental hospital patient and his medication makes him believe he's a clown and his doctors are puppets.
  • Sad Clown:
    Blah Blah: [at his reflection in the mirror] One day, you will be happy.
  • Serial Killer: What he's revealed to be in the "BLOOD AND MAKEUP" mockumentary, hence explaining why he's interned in a mental hospital. Or at least he seems like one at first.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: He's still played by Brandon Rogers, so it's a must.
  • Token Human: He's the only one in the TV Show cast that's not a puppet. He's actually imagining the whole thing.
  • The Un-Smile: He does a bunch of really creepy smiles to the camera during his show.
  • Voice of the Legion: Speaks like this whenever he does his introduction.
  • You Gotta Have Blue Hair: His hair is blue and pink. It's a wig, though. His actual hair are dyed purple.

A sleep paralysis monster who gets no respect.


Humanoid Simulation XL-57692/Simian
"Mother and I love doing many activities together like making music videos. Oh, I hate that."

Humanoid Simulation XL-57692, or "Simian" for short.

  • Born as an Adult: Despite being modeled to look like an adult, he is sent to public school the moment he's turned on and he refers to his creator as "mommy."
  • The Internet Is for Porn: The moment he discovers his "WiFi port" (which is a lot like a giant penis) he uses to frequently download pornography. He is even expelled from school because his classmates use him for this reason.

Co-Stars (Regular Videos)


Cathy's son and Grandpa's grandson.

  • Brother–Sister Incest: Implied many times by Cathy.
  • First-Person Perspective: The Grandpa and Mom videos appear to be from his point of view a great deal of the time.
  • Mr. Imagination: Frequently daydreams to cope with his mother's insanity and abuse, and manages to imagine the entirety of "A Day at the Park" based on a class field trip he has to go on the next day.
  • Phrase Catcher: To his mother, among the lines of "Where the fuck are you?!"
  • The Speechless: Unlike Ignacio who's also a First-Person Perspective character and has dialogue, Timmy doesn't speak and only communicates by nodding or shaking his head (the camera, in that case).
  • Straight Gay: Timmy comes out as gay to Helen and watches gay porn, and since he's a POV character, he doesn't seem to have any camp tendencies (although his mother says he's "clearly gay").
  • The Prankster: Loves to play tricks on his grandpa, and to his mother as well.
  • Troubling Unchild Like Behavior: Timmy pulls quite troubling stunts on his family, and even watches gay porn.

    Donna Phitts
"I been waiting here for so long I went through menopause again!"

Portrayed by Paulette Jones, Alariza Nevarez (as a young adult)

Sam's crass and loud roommate who has a love for guns and violence.
  • Action Girl: It is better for you to not fuck with Donna. She was an american spy set out to kill Hitler, after all.
  • Action Mom: To Elmer. She's a retired american spy.
  • Adult Fear: Donna had her newborn son kidnapped in front of her eyes 40 years ago and then lost all memory of him after being rendered amnesiac shortly after meeting Sam a couple of decades after.
  • Ax-Crazy: For starters, Donna is all too willing to convince Sam to get revenge on people who have wronged them, and getting aroused by loading her rifle is the least of her problems.
  • Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Donna and Sam constantly bicker and insult each other, but they greatly care about one another. Donna even stabbed Bryce when she was gonna harm Sam.
  • Berserk Button:
    • She hates Granola
  • Broken Bird: "Sam & Stuff" reveals that Donna acts sour to Sam because her newborn son got taken away from her. Averted after losing her memory.
  • Brutal Honesty: Donna doesn't seem to have a filter.
  • The Chew Toy: Donna is frequently on the receiving end of a lot of physical comedy.
  • Dark and Troubled Past: Her newborn son, who was the only source of happiness she had, got kidnapped in front of her eyes and she lived depressed and alone until she adopted Sam.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Exclusively reserved at Sam.
  • Dynamic Entry: One time she makes her entry by ramming her pelvis into the door. "CUUUUUUUUNT!"
  • Easy Amnesia: Parodied. She lost her memory by having a toilet paper roll thrown at her head!
  • Femme Fatale Spy: She was one in her youth, as revealed in "Blame The Hero".
  • Gun Nut: She sleeps with shotguns. Both figuratively and literally.
  • Hair-Trigger Temper: Usually triggered by Sam.
  • Intergenerational Friendship: Donna is an elder who has for roommate and friend the "30 years young" Sam.
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: Sure, Donna is nasty, foul-mouthed, vulgar, sour-tempered and pessimistic, but she does care about Sam.
  • Knife Nut: Donna sleeps with a knife and when you wake up her too abruptly, she stabs the air frantically while swearing like a sailor.
  • Lady Swears-a-Lot: Donna swears in every goddamn sentence she speaks, a stark difference to what she was like prior to losing her memory after a head injury.
  • Mama Bear: Towards Sam, even if she won't admit it: when Bryce tried to kill Sam, Donna stabbed her!
  • Masculine Girl, Feminine Boy: The feisty Masculine Girl to Sam's flamboyant Feminine Boy.
  • Mercy Kill: Subverted. It appears she put Blame out of his misery considering they held a small funeral for him, but by the view of Grandpa's tattoo, Donna couldn't kill him and his brain damage caused by Elmer shooting him is the reason why Grandpa is so ditzy and lost most of the time.
  • Official Couple: With Grandpa.
  • Retired Badass: It makes sense for Donna to be this hardcore considering she's a retired spy.
  • The Reveal: She's the American spy Lima Dozen that Blame meets in the 40's and teams up with to kill Hitler.
  • Screw Politeness, I'm a Senior!: Donna's motto.
  • Ship Tease: Seems to have one with George (Grandpa). By "Blame The Hero", they're a couple and live together.
  • Sitcom Archnemesis: Implied to be Cathy's, who calls her a fucking bitch behind her back and in her face. By the "Day At The Park" video, Donna can be falsely nice to Cathy too.
  • Tomboy with a Girly Streak: Donna wears makeup and a pink shirt, but she also loves guns (a bit too much), and is more masculine than Sam.
  • Vague Age: While Donna has the appearance of an older woman in her late 50's to early 60's, she claims to be going through puberty and Sam mentions that her parents let her watch The Simpsons when she was 10, which would make her birth year 1979 at the earliest (and only in her 30's in most of her appearances). At the same time though, she mentions to have gone through menopause (twice even!), Grandpa George mentions not having seen her in 50 years, and was shown to be in her 40's in 1998. Donna's age is more of a Running Gag than anything to be seriously pondered though.
  • Verbal Tic: Her favorite curse word seems to be "goddamn".
  • Vitriolic Best Buds: She constantly gets into insane fights and situations with her roommate Sam, but the two genuinely care about each other really can't stand being separated for extended periods of time.
  • White Hair, Black Heart: Downplayed. She's got white hair but is more of a jerk, though she's not bad at heart.
  • Womanchild: Claims to be still going through puberty, though she seems to be more mature than Sam.

    Lady Mingeworthy 

Portrayed by Georgina Leahy

Lord Mingeworthy's wife.

  • Abusive Parent: Just like her husband, she's abusive of their son Cockwaddle and is even the reason why he's paralyzed.
  • Big Bad: She and her husband serve as the main antagonists of Episode 4 of "Blame The Hero".
  • Fake Brit: In-Universe. Like her husband, she's an American who wants to become British and does so in the most stereotypical way possible. Ironically, her actress, Georgina Leahy, really is British.
  • Mean Brit: Just like her husband, she's a haughty woman who's also abusive to her son Cockwaddle.
  • Ms. Fanservice: Her trademark outfit is a bathing suit with the UK flag on it.
  • Offing the Offspring: Along with her husband, she tried killing their son, but it only resulted in him being paraplegic.
  • Trophy Wife: Implied to be this to Lord Mingeworthy.
  • Ugly Guy, Hot Wife: The Hot Wife to Lord Mingeworthy's Ugly Guy.


Portrayed by David Burton

  • And I Must Scream: He's is stuck in a wheelchair and unable to speak properly if at all, He was given a speech box by his family but they accidentally programmed it to say vulgar things (in an attempt to remove said language from his vocabulary).
  • Embarrassing First Name: This just shows his parents hate him.
  • The Unfavorite: His parents took more care of a possessed puppet they just found than him in his whole life.
  • Who Names Their Kid "Dude"?: Should we even explain why.


Portrayed by Gabriel Gonzales

  • First-Person Perspective: The videos about him and Sebastian are told from his perspective.
  • Vague Age: He and Sebastian have no clue what ages they are. At the very least, they're old enough to be in elementary school.

    American Boyfriend 

Portrayed by Ben Furney

The Japanese Girlfriend's boyfriend, who's American.

  • Destructive Romance: Parodied with the Japanese Girlfriend. Both are openly hating each other on one scene, and having sex on another.
  • Domestic Abuse: While he's usually on the receiving end from his girlfriend, he's no angel either and their relationship is extremely dysfunctional and toxic.
  • The Dog Bites Back: His girlfriend constantly insults him, pushes him around and abuses him. He almost immediately plays back into her game.
  • Extreme Doormat: Usually averted as he doesn't let his girlfriend treat him that way, but it still counts as he's still dating her nonetheless.
  • Horrible Judge of Character: While he knows how nasty his girlfriend can be, he says she "treats him terrific" and calls their fights "cute".
  • No Name Given: Just like his girlfriend, he has no known name and is credited as "American Boyfriend".
  • Would Hit a Girl: He has no qualms pushing, strangling or even running over his girlfriend with his car. Good to note she treats him like dirt and it's Played for Laughs.

    Sir Mr. Bill-man 

Portrayed by Jennifer Schmeke

  • Female Misogynist: Is so deeply ashamed of being a woman that she masquerades as a man and runs a He-Man Woman Hater club.
  • Gag Boobs: After Sam gives her $50,000 she goes and gets comically oversized breast implants to celebrate her finally embracing her own femaleness. Later, Sam and Donna attack her and stab out her implants and steal them.
  • Suspiciously Specific Denial: Likes to bring up the fact that they're definitely not a woman quite a bit.
  • Sweet Polly Oliver: Dresses in drag because she believed that the only way she could succeed in the world was by pretending to be a man (however, almost everyone is well aware that she's actually a woman).

    Principal Morris 

Portrayed by Anthony Padilla

  • Boom, Headshot!: Is murdered by Helen this way when she uses the time machine to return to when she got fired in order to prevent her becoming a lifeguard.
  • Reasonable Authority Figure: A rarity in Brandon's universe, but Principal Morris vocally objects to Helen's harsh treatment of the children at his school.


Portrayed by Jon Cozart

Clifton's owner.

  • Ambiguously Gay: He swears he's not gay, but he only has male friends and his relationship with Clifton is quite... special. He even refers to them as a "couple".
  • Deadpan Snarker: Has his moments, mostly towards the "pet psychic".
  • Jerk with a Heart of Gold: He can be harsh towards Clifton at times, but he's overall friendly and he really cares about his at.
  • Kindhearted Cat Lover: Owns a talking cat named Clifton.
  • Mistaken for Gay: He says he's not gay, but Donna calls him a "queer boy" and Sam himself seems interested in him.
  • Stage Dad: He put Clifton in the spotlight due to his ability to speak, since it "made him feel special". He eventually realizes it caused Clifton to run away, apologizes to him and begs him to come back home.

    Suck and Swallow 

Portrayed by Dominiq Badiyo (Suck) & David Burton (Swallow)

Bobby Worst's "shitty servants".


Portrayed by Adam Neylan

Darlene's "celestial star partner".

  • All Women Are Lustful: She's the joke of a lot of sexual jokes, invited adult film actors to help with her own sexual life and tried to bang every man she saw in "Blame The Hero" after becoming the worst version of herself.
  • Ambiguously Bi: Kathleen has a son from her ex-husband, and she's now married to Darlene. Though it's implied by her disgust of dicks that she decided to turn to women. Then "Blame The Hero" comes and "the worst version of herself" demands every man she sees to "give her that dick".
  • Calling Parents by Their Name: Enforced and parodied by Kathleen, who wants Billy to call her by her name because "mom is her slave name".
  • Fan Disservice: The embodiment of this trope.
  • Granola Girl: Just like Darlene.
  • Green and Mean: In "Blame The Hero" where she became the "worst version of herself".
  • Happily Married: With Darlene.
  • Meganekko: She wears glasses, though she's far from being a straight example of this trope.
  • Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: Like Darlene, she has an aversion to penises, though while Darlene is repulsed by them, Kathleen is more frightened of them (especially having them drawn on her face).


Portrayed by Logan Bubar

Kathlene's "scumbag son".

  • A Date with Rosie Palms: He constantly masturbates, to Darlene's dismay.
  • All Men Are Perverts: He masturbates a lot and draws dicks everywhere.
  • Ambiguously Gay: He always draws penises on the walls and Darlene seems to doubt his sexuality, by how she asks him "if he gets pussy".
    Darlene: [picks up a rag] These cumstains better be yours.
  • Aw Look They Really Do Love Eachother: He seems to love his other mom Darlene, despite finding her uptight and her thinking of him as a scumbag.
  • Basement-Dweller: His age is ambiguous, but he lives in his mothers' basement, always plays video games and rarely comes out of it.
  • Deadpan Snarker: Considering how much of his mothers are neurotic, that totally makes sense.
  • Disappeared Dad: We know nothing about his father other than Billy represents everything that Kathlene hated about him.
  • Has Two Mommies: His biological mother is Kathlene and was raised by her and his other mom Darlene.
  • Parental Incest: A variant. He gave his sperm to his other mother so they could have another baby. Even if Darlene is not his biological mom, it's still weird considering he also considers her his mother (and according to Darlene, she breastfed him).
  • The Pig-Pen: He doesn't do his laundry, so he probably doesn't shower either.
  • Pungeon Master: He loves to make puns about dicks, to Darlene's annoyance.
  • Sir Swears-a-Lot: For a character that isn't played by Brandon, no less.

    Vivian Delongprix 

Portrayed by Georgina Leahy

Other Characters


Cathy's daughter, Timmy's sister and Granpda's granddaughter.


Portrayed by Gabriel Gonzales

Bryce Tankthrust's assistant and right-hand man.

    Coach Best 

Portrayed by Jack Plotnick

Eric's father who works at his school as a P.E. coach and dismisses him as his son.

  • Abusive Parent: He doesn't want people to know Eric/Bobby is his son, and joins the bullies tormenting him.
  • Asshole Victim: Gets stabbed to death by Bryce. At least in the first timeline.
  • Died in Your Arms Tonight: He dies in Bobby's arms. And if it's not tearjerking for you already, he still tells his son he let him down before dying.
  • Icy Blue Eyes: He has blue eyes and is an Abusive Parents and outright a dick.
  • I Have No Son!: In public, he calls Bobby "Eric" and wants him to call him "Mr. Best" so people won't know he's related to a "loser".
  • Jerkass: A shitty person who bullies his own son.
  • Laser-Guided Karma: For being a total douche, karma shows him no mercy. First, he gets killed by Bryce in the first timeline. Then he gets mocked by his son's bullies for being Hitler's son.
  • Morality Chain: Despite his father showing him no love whatsoever, Bobby still loved him and wanted to make him proud. His death caused Bobby to snap and become the villain Bobby Worst.
  • Parental Abandonment: In the timeline where he doesn't die, he changes identities and abandons Bobby.
  • Sadist Teacher: Uses his job as a coach to torment his son even more.
  • Small Role, Big Impact: His death is the reason Bobby oaths to get revenge against Bryce and become the ruthless villain he is today.
  • You're Not My Father: He changed his identity and doesn't seem to be proud to be Hitler's son.

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