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The main family:
A well-meaning, long-suffering father. Occasionally does something ill-advised but means well. More intelligent than the typical example, but has his foolish moments. Works in a typical office job.
- Bumbling Dad: Generally averted. This is a man who once changed a diaper in a mall restroom.
- Gag Nose: Parodied in one Sunday Strip where Darryl and Wanda discuss whether to let one of their children sleep on its stomach or back. Darryl says that he always slept on his back, then the strip cuts to a baby picture of him unable to lie down for his huge nose.
- Opaque Lenses: Sometimes.
- Overprotective Dad: Especially toward Zoe. One series of strips had Darryl freaking out because Zoe (then two years old) had a crush on an "older man." Said older man was a three-year-old.
Wanda MacPherson (née Wizowski)
Darryl's wife, the mother of the strip's main family. Down to earth to the point of being a bit cynical, she nevertheless cares about her family and does her best to work with them. A stay at home mom, and heaven help you if you tell her that it's not enough work by itself.
- Deadpan Snarker: Most of her sarcasm is targeted at Darryl.
- Housewife: She's a stay-at-home mom by choice. However, there are definitely times when she misses having her own career.
- Mama Bear: To her own kids, and kids in general. In one series of strips, she stopped a mother who lost control and began hitting her child in a grocery store.
- Tomboy and Girly Girl: Tomboy to Rhonda's girly girl.
- Why Did It Have to Be Snakes?: She's afraid of snakes.
- Womamchild: She has her moments of this since when something goes really wrong, she's starts screaming and crying like a baby or willing to sleep happily in a crib◊ when there was no options left to sleep in.
The eldest child and older daughter. Though about 9 years old, she acts like a spoiled teenager. Frequently bratty and self-absorbed, but less likely to actually make a mess these days than her brother, preferring whining and mocking to actual destruction.
- Badass Adorable: Cemented in the strip where Wanda goes to swap misplaced mail with a neighbor. Wanda returns to find Hammie all trussed up and Wren trapped underneath a laundry basket:
- Zoe: I've been training for this moment my whole life!
- Big Sister Bully: Sometimes. In many strips, Zoe has taken delight in telling Hammie stories just to scare him.
- Child Prodigy: Zoe goes to the advanced class in school and often has better grades than her brother. She's also the technology expert of the MacPherson family.
- Daddy's Girl: She's got Darryl wrapped around her little finger, and is more than willing to take advantage of it. Her first word was "Da-Da" as well.
- Funetik Aksent: How her baby-talk was represented.
- Sudden Name Change: Her middle name used to be "Jennifer", until a 2007 strip inexplicably changed it to "Madison".
Hamish "Hammie" MacPherson
Zoe's younger brother, the middle child, and the MacPhersons' only boy. A typical young boy, goes through the world like a hurricane, leaving broken glass and dirty fingerprints in his wake. Hammie is fond of rude noises and gross things. He enjoys annoying Zoe, but will team up with her on occasion. He doesn't really act mean to Wren because of his caring to her.
- Big Brother Bully: He does have his moments where he's mean to Zoe but it's not as bad as when Wren's mean to him.
- Book Dumb: Hammie tends to struggle with school both because he's not great with homework and his behavior problems.
- Gasshole: Mostly a belch variant.
- He-Man Woman Hater: Oh, yes. Save for his mother, Hammie dislikes any female on sight and goes out of his way to either annoy or avoid them. Having two sisters doesn't help.
- Last-Minute Baby Naming: Due to Darryl and Wanda mistakenly believing they were having a girl, he went nameless for a bit after his birth. It wasn't until after they brought him home that Darryl came up with the name "Hamish," after one of his relatives. It took their family members some time to get used to the name.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: He's very rarely called by his real first name, Hamish.
- The Pig-Pen: He loves to get dirty and muddy.
Wren "Wrennie" MacPherson
The youngest MacPherson, she is now a toddler. May be the sanest of the bunch.
- Fearless Infant: She likes to climb on things, implying she's not afraid of heights
- Fiery Redhead: She is very hyperactive
- Gasshole: In some comics, her flatulence is centered around this. Wren, like her brother Hammie, is mostly a belch variant, to the point where she has to belch like a man to make Hammie impressed. This is rather justified as she's a baby and babies can be pretty gassy.
- Innocent Swearing: In one strip, she heard Darryl swear and started saying, "%*@#! cramp"
- Last-Minute Baby Naming: She's only named "Wren" because a bird flew into the window while Wanda was recovering in the hospital.
- Living Prop: Being a baby, she was this when she was first born, however, this changed when she got to be more mobile.
- Terse Talker: This is justified since she's a year and a half, but when she talks it's this. So far, she can say "Ma", "Da", "no", "up", "down", and "%*@#! cramp"
Other characters include:
Somewhat of a cross between Martha Stewart and Barbie, she and her rarely-mentioned husband, Butch, are the overly-perfect young couple down the street. Their children include ten-year-old Bogart, one of Zoe's playmates, and infant twins named Wendell John and Wendell Jon. She is now never seen and only mentioned by Wanda and Darryl in the new comics.
- The Ditz: She's not really bright, as demonstrated by her choices in naming her kids among other things
- The Ghost: Doubling as Demoted to Extra, she's not seen anymore in the newer comics and is just mentioned.
- Meaningful Name: Invoked by Bunny: she named her son Bogart because he was conceived while she and her husband were watching The African Queen. She nixed that idea for the twins: they were watching Dumb and Dumber.
- Only Known by Their Nickname: As far as we know, Bunny is her real name.
- Only One Name: Her last name is never revealed.
- Parody Sue: Everything she does is just perfect, much to Wanda's chagrin. But it's turned up so far to the point of parody.
- Strong Family Resemblance: Darryl gets his big nose from Mac and Rhonda and Wanda get their looks from Maggie
Mac and Pauline MacPhearsonDarryl's parents. Grandpa Mac is a calm but sometimes the silent type, while his wife Pauline is obsessed with
- Neat Freak: Pauline is obsessed with keeping things neat and clean and she'll have a fit if things aren't clean enough to how she likes them
- The Quiet One: Mac a isn't talker, so, in the strips he's in, he doesn't usually have a line
Hugh and Maggie WizowskiWanda's parents. Grandpa Hugh is rather macho and fairly contemptuous of Darryl. Grandma Maggie has been portrayed as a "typical" mother of adult children; often nitpicky of how Wanda conducts her day-to-day and worrying about whether or not Rhonda will ever get married and have children of her own. Her character with regards to how she relates to her grandchildren has not been expanded on much.
- I Want Grandkids: Maggie tends to annoy Rhonda with asking as to whether or not the latter'll have kids.
- Obnoxious In-Laws: Hugh doesn't get along well with Darryl, while Maggie is just nitpicky.
Wanda's little sister, who's single and sometimes babysits the kids
- I Want Grandkids: She gets this from her mother, Maggie, who pesters her to settle down.
Yolanda and Mike
Yolanda, Mike, and familyYolanda, Mike, and their daughters Keesha and Dziko (commonly called "Dizzy") provide a Token Black Friend for each of the MacPhersons, except Hammie. They don't have big personality traits or provide any role bigger than being the MacPhersons' neighbors and friends.
- Aerith and Bob: Keesha and Dziko play with this, as the latter's name is a real one (as can be read here) but it's not a common one.
- Flat Character: They don't get much characterization besides being friends or neighbors, also making them Satellite Characters.
- Inconsistent Coloring: Their skin tones vary in different strips.
- Last-Minute Baby Naming: Yolanda and Mike, like Darryl and Wanda, didn't decide on a name for their oldest daughter, Keesha, until after they brought her home.
- Living Prop: Dziko, being a baby like Wren.
- Only One Name: Their last name was never revealed.
Exclusive to the animated series
- Canon Foreigner: The Bittermans and Bizzy were not in the original comic.
The neighbor family that appeared in the animated series. Their names are Carl, Melinda, Rodney, Megan, and Shelby
- Abusive Parents: Carl acts like this to Rodney and that usually involves giving him some threats
- Aw, Look! They Really Do Love Each Other: Megan and Rodney, as was shown in one episode where the former seemed pretty sad that Rodney was going to stay over the Wanda and Darryl's house.
- Big Brother Bully: Rodney is this to Megan, as he picks on and taunts her. He doesn't seem to be this to Shelby - then again, Shelby would probably beat him up.
- Creepy Child: While not exactly creepy, Shelby is definitely weird with his being quiet and penchant for destruction.
- Dysfunctional Family: Though downplayed, we know the family to be this, as their home-life is chaotic.
- From the Mouths of Babes: Rodney, combined with Brutally Honest. Mostly toward Darryl.
- Hypocritical Humor: In one episode, when interviewed, Melinda said she was doing whatever she could to keep her kids safe, while her kids are being more destructive than usual (including one of them torching something).
- Oral Fixation: Well, not exactly oral but Melinda is never seen without her cigarette.
- Parents as People: Melinda, as, while she does love her kids, she wishes to have Wanda's life, or at least the life she had before she had kids.
- The Stoic: Shelby doesn't show any emotions besides usual indifference, annoyance, or a combination of the two. Similarly, his mother, Melinda is the same way except vocally (her voice always sounds tired).
- The Unfavorite: Rodney is clearly not Carl's favorite. This was alluded to in one episode when he started hanging out at the MacPhearsons house.
- Women Are Wiser: Megan, in a sense, as she's the most well-behaved of the Bitterman children.
Zoe's babysitter who appears in the series
- Babysitter from Hell: Averted - the MacPhearsons initially thought she was this because she allowed her boyfriend over, but they were proven wrong when she showed herself to be quite responsible.