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Characters / Anachronauts

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There are an Loads and Loads of Characters in the anachronauts realm; this page will cover as many as time pertains and be expanded later.

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    Main Protagonists: First Age 

Emily Moonthistle

The central character of the First Age, she is the last true (read: sane) witch, or human user of Fae magic. Kinda. It's a long story.

  • Blessed with Suck: It's due to her grandmother's blessing that Emily can't remember spells; she has to copy each spell by hand for each time she wants to use it. This is because reading a spell burns the surface it's written on. If written on human brain... With Great Power Comes Great Insanity hits the human very, very hard.
  • The Chosen One: Her grandmother singled Emily out with Blessed with Suck for a reason. Eventually, the Faerie Queens choose her to be the new Queen of Faeusa, and the bearer of both crowns.
  • Chronic Hero Syndrome: Combines with Walking Disaster Area.
    Emily: It never ends well. I see trouble, I've got two options. I can poke my pointy little hat in the ring and try to help, and then everything goes sideways. Or I can keep my pointy little hat down, ignore it, and then everything goes sideways again. I try to help a pixie glade from being bulldozed by a human settlement, and all that happens is the Animate bulldozers go out of control and level everything in sight. I try to whip up some potions to tidy up a contaminated well at an independent village, and it works great... until I accidentally unmask a conspiracy by a rival village to wipe those poor farmers out and take their land. Triggers a hot war out of a cold one, and I'm lucky to get out alive. And now, I spot something that should not be possible, an organized army of ogres bearing down on an Eastusa settlement... and in thanks for warning them of the dire peril, I'm going to be burned at the stake. Hence. Trying to do the right thing never ends well.
  • Doomed Hometown/Where I Was Born and Razed: As part of her background, we discover that her witching class's final exam was to destroy her hometown. As she refused, her fellow classmates beat her and left her for dead as they destroyed her hometown for her.
  • Fiery Redhead: If by "fiery" you mean "snarktastic," sure.
  • Flying Broomstick/Robe and Wizard Hat: The hat is actually her Nana's, and brooms were given to humans kind of as a joke; it's not a preferred mode of transportation but handy in a pinch.
  • Groin Attack: Her preferred form of physical attack.
    Emily: I don't care how fancy and shiny their energy guns are, a kick in the junk is a kick in the junk.
  • Mixed Ancestry: While never explicitly stated but in the Print Bonus chapter a00, Emily has Faerie blood in her, which is why she has Insight, a rare trait only Faeries have, which is passed down bloodlines. In order to keep her sanity, she deliberately stays away from figuring out why she as a human would have Insight.
  • The Snark Knight: Not as much world-weary as the only one who can be counted at to do what needs to be done, and do it right.
  • Terror Hero: She once handled a Mauve Shirt baddie using naught but some strategically placed blood, a suitably scary illusion and lots of bloody-minded attitude.
  • Thou Shall Not Kill: Snarks about it, but she really would prefer the sentients of the world to just get along already.
  • Vancian Magic: Due to her memory issue, Emily needs to manually copy spells onto binder pages in advance. Each spell has a specific purpose - but Emily is good at finding unconventional uses for them.
  • Utility Magic: She prefers these spells, mocked by more combat-oriented witches. Serves them right when she almost kills someone with a tea-making spell.
  • Willfully Weak: Prefers Utility Magic and headology, even after becoming a Physical Goddess.


Scout is of military stock, preferring to be referred to by his position rather than his actual name, as he feels his position is more important. After being killed in the Battle of Austin, Lady Winter made him one of her Winterhounds, undead soldiers who are subject to her bidding; however, she has other plans for him...

Una Point Zero One

A member of the Orbitals, described by her as "aliens from outer space." A natural born daughter of an Optimist/Pragmatist couple, she has long dreamed of visiting Earth. Now her father takes her on a trip, along with a dour colleague of his, and after encountering Emily and Scout, Una is given leave to determine how Orbital technology made it planetside, with the two natives' help.


    Main Protagonists: Forsaken Shores 

Nelliwyn "Nel" Myfanwy

A slave of the House of the Rising Sun and Lady Morgana's glamour specialist, she is subsequently released from her duties and uses her skills to assist her teammates. Likely due to her upbringing, Nel starts out incredibly dependent on whomever she's "serving," but continues to try and find herself outside of her relationships to others.

Lady Jesse Runeblade

Emily's childhood friend who followed her to Archmagus Lilith's Witching Academy. Unlike Emily, who was gifted with an inability to memorize spells, Jesse was the Alpha Bitch of her class, excelling in combat and earning Lilith's favor. During their graduation ceremony, she participated in Emily's beating, but saw the Moral Event Horizon coming and refused to participate in the destruction of her and Emily's home village. In order to try to regain favor with Lilith, she launched an assault on Olney, causing the events of a01.

Gilbert Gearhaus

A runaway from the British Empire (consisting in this case of (at least) all of Western Europe), Gilbert worked as an Honored Calculator for Gearhaus Industries. After designing a device which would allow one to navigate across the ocean without disturbing the kraken, he realized it would be used to further the Empire's expansions, and promptly decided he'd had enough of his servitude and left for the Americas, taking the prototype device with him so the Empire couldn't abuse it.

  • Brains and Brawn: While he can hold his own in battle, he tends to be the strategist to Jesse's more straightforward Action Girl. Not to mention, he can actually formulate new spells.
  • Cursed with Awesome/My Skull Runneth Over: The aetheric steam treatments given to Gilbert in his youth allow him to do humanly impossible math in his head, at the expense of overtaxing his brain. Thus, his days are numbered, and the number gets smaller the more complex the equations he has to solve.
  • Doctor Whomage: Sooo... a British-accented, frightfully smart, quite self-assured, eternally curious traveller who nicked a Cool Ship to escape the strict, stiff-necked Deadly Decadent Court society of his birth and explore the world? Also gains an Action Girl companion, although in a more romantic way than the Doctor tends to.
  • Fish out of Water/Separated by a Common Language: How Gilbert is discovered amongst the crowd at the Florida Rock Show, in the middle of defining the word "chips" with a snack vendor.
  • Gentleman Adventurer: Perhaps not what he originally meant to be, but certainly what he becomes.
  • Good with Numbers: Preternaturally so, as this is what Honored Calculators do.
  • Love at First Punch/I Love You Because I Can't Control You: He seems to have taken an interest with Jesse the moment she stepped into his life... in a bathroom, ready to subdue him to complete her mission.
  • Like You Were Dying: Part of the reason Gilbert is exploring America in the first place. (See Cursed with Awesome above.)
  • Mr. Fanservice: More British and understated that Scout, but he's an absolute sweetie with infinite patience. Cute, too, if you count the Pirate Girls and such who give him longing looks - but always faithful to his chosen lady.
  • Separated by a Common Language: We see him first encountering this problem - he's trying to buy "chips", and completely unable to fathom this word means a different food in American English than in his native British.
    Gilbert, to an uncomprehending saleswoman: No, these are crisps. Maybe you're not understanding me; I want some chips. Chiiiipppss. Look, you've got some back there, haven't you? I can smell them from here...
  • Road Trip Romance: With Jesse in FS. In the next book they go on their honeymoon trip.

The J-33 Valet and Equerry System ("Jeeves")

Gilbert's companion automaton. One of the few automata in the Empire that can perform a variety of tasks, Jeeves tends to the day-to-day worries of his master, as well as any side tasks given to him.

  • Battle Butler: Jeeves doesn't fight much, but he's large and heavy enough that he can handle himself in a fight as need be. Being powered by a rogue angel doesn't hurt when fighting the infernal, either.
  • Fun with Acronyms: See his name.
  • High-Class Glass: His single eye is in the form of a classy monocle.
  • The Jeeves
  • Ridiculously Human Robots: Jeeves seems to have proper sentience, in that he can feel emotions disgust, worry, and regret.
  • Separated by a Common Language: Occasionally his single word doesn't make any sense in American English.
    Officer Briscoe: You four and yer, whaddyacall it, Robbie the Robot or whatever it is—
    Jeeves: Batman.
    Briscoe: —right. Even yer robot's off his nut, 'cause Batman wears black an' has pointy ears.
  • Steam Punk: Jeeves runs off of aetheric steam.
  • Terse Talker: Jeeves can only speak one-word sentences, but his vocabulary is expansive enough that he can make each word-sentence count.
  • Undying Loyalty: Jeeves considers Gilbert his master, and will go to any length to protect him.

    Main Protagonists: London's Fog 

Benny the Broker

A demonic broker who can and will trade anything. Originally working for The Mister (in theory), after his one charge was fulfilled and his obligations released, he continued his trade in...well, trading.

Chloe Manchester

Introduced as an Ordinary High-School Student who crosses paths with Benny at the wrong time, she reappears as an Eastusa agent with the government's Anachronism Task Force (the human equivalent to the anachronauts), and joins the expedition by request of Eastusa President Petersen. In lf03, it turns out that Chloe is actually the reincarnation of Cha'ai, who Ben'ai views like a little sister, and that she is a Guardian Angel, whose primary purpose is to go to London and release the angel Raphael.

    Recurring Protagonists: Second Age 

Agent Elisa Morales

Protagonist of sa04 and sa06. Originally part of the FBI's FACT (Faerie Artifact Control Team) Team and then subsequently the Anachronism Task Force, Morales doesn't consider any mission with casualties a success, which is why she has the third-lowest success rate of missions on the FACT (91%).

  • Action Girl: She prefers avoiding violence where necessary, but can still kick ass with the rest of them. By the end of sa04, she also becomes a de facto Action Mom.
  • Determinator: One of her more notable qualities.
    Petersen: You get the job done right — meaning if someone does slip your net, they don't slip twice. The bad guys DON'T win, not in the long run. Every smuggler you've gone after, you eventually got, and the final takedowns were flawless. You're tenacious, but thoughtful.
  • Final Girl: Of sa04.

Carrie "Astro Gal" Lane

Protagonist of sa09, introduced in sa06. "Astro Gal" was part of a dimension of superheroes. She and her mother Starwoman were in the middle of battling her father/nemesis Doctor Mindmelter in Hawaii when the Pandora Event occurred, and the three of them were transported to this dimension. Thanks to the resulting disorientation, Starwoman was able to destroy Doctor Mindmelter's corporeal form, but also sacrificed herself in the process. Eventually, Astro Gal was found by the first Welcome Wagon team and taken into Una and Nel's care.

  • Daddy's Girl/Mad Scientist's Beautiful Daughter: It appears part of the reason Carrie's father became Doctor Mindmelter was because he didn't want her to grow up or become attracted to boys.
  • Deconstruction: Of superheroes. She had to learn a lot of physics to attempt to compensate for most of her abilities, as well as govern the effectiveness of her super-senses. Being physically and hormonally locked at age fifteen and the consequences thereof are also discussed.
  • Kirby Dots: Apparently manifest when Astro Gal uses her powers. In fact, it's referred to as a form of Kirby Radiation, which she emits whether her powers are in use or not.
  • Really 700 Years Old: Invincible and physically/hormonally locked at fifteen, but been around for at least two hundred years (the Pandora Event).
  • Shout-Out: Astro Gal and family are defined by references to Golden and Silver Age comic books. Her powers (invincibility, flying, and super-senses) are directly taken from Superman, the origin story is more or less that of the Fantastic Four, the combination teenage angst and high-schooler disguise recalls Spider-Man. Various other superhero signature lines are bandied about in the prose and dialogue, and other similar superheroes appear in flashback or are mentioned in dialogue.

    Supporting characters 

Primary Councilman Ono

Una's father, and one of the overseers of duties on Arcology #A076. Introduced in a01.

Esrever the Mirror Fiend

Lord of the Mirror Realm, servant of the Winter Court. Introduced in a04.

Lady Morgana

Lady of the House of the Rising Sun in New Orleans (and Las Vegas in the Second Age). Sister to Archmagus Lillith. Introduced in a06.

Archmagus Elriel

Emily's instructor at the academy in the First Age; promoted to Archmagus at the dawn of the Second Age. Introduced in a06.

Susan (Suzie) Moonthistle

The daughter of Emily and Scout, the fae Princess of Spring, whom we first meet as a (literal) flower girl on the wedding that starts the plot of LF. Cheerful Child who later grows up to be quite savvy.


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