Bread Eggs Breaded Eggs / Fan Works

Harry Potter

• Adventures in Babysitting:
  Draco: Is that incense or sheep dung?
  Sigmund: Sheep dung incense.
• The Best Revenge:
  Finally they reached a large painting of two beautiful blonde women in ancient costume. Harry wondered if they were witches or goddesses—or witches who were worshipped as goddesses.
  
  Had the world just changed? Snape considered what to do. He considered what he ought to do, what he wanted to do, and what he ought to want to do.
• The summary of Clueless By Night:
  Harry's run into an unexpected Weasley in the streets of London. Loaded with humor, undead, and humor about the undead.
• Dear Order:
  No one at Headquarters could pass up the opportunity to annoy the old man anymore. His continued insistence that they couldn't contact Harry, coupled with him constantly offering tea and lemon drops (and occasionally lemon tea or tea drops, when Remus or Severus got bored) had him getting on even Arthur's normally unshakable nerves.
• In A Different Professor Hermione thinks Harry's Animagus form will be a lion, while George thinks it'll be an eagle. Harry turns out to be a griffin.
• The End of Pure England:
  Harry: First of all, those under eleven have been separated out and sent to various countries around the world. They will be raised under probation. If they live their lives within the laws – including the laws saying you shouldn’t reproduce with your siblings, parents, or your parents’ siblings – they should be alright.
• Finding Home:
  Death: ...Thanos has oft been called the Mad Titan.
  Harry: Trust me, there isn't a single person out there who tried to rule the world or destroy the world or rule and destroy the world that wasn't at least somewhat mad.
• A Ghost's Revenge:
  The bus took off with a whoosh, and Harry had to hold on for dear life. He wasn't tired anymore. This was fast, and he wasn't sure if it was wicked or scary. He finally decided it was wickedly scary. He settled down and started talking to his mum.
• In Harry and Harley a teenage Harley Quinn mentions her parents' attempt to scare her out of her interest in psychology.
  Harley: Anyway, they took me on a private field trip to Blackgate Prison, home of the insane, the criminals, and the criminally insane.
• In Harry the Hufflepuff Harry's uncle once took him to Grunnings Drills for some reason or other.
  Being a year or three younger than he currently was, Harry was uncertain about the exact circumstances and whys of his visit, but he vaguely recalled something about possibly meeting some burglars or rioters, or rioting burglars, or maybe it was being a meat shield for Vernon against rioters.
• Harry Potter and the Herald of the Dreamland:
  Harry: Why are we fighting goblins? Why not giants? Or spiders? Or giant spiders?
• Harry Potter and the Order Defying Dark Lords:
  Luna: You're so lucky Sally-Anne! All those beautiful dresses for dance! But I can't spend so much time away from the babies…and animals…and baby animals after school.
• Harry Potter and the Wizarding Marriage Ritual:
  The majority of the work to be done in the Department of Mysteries was stunning, boring, stunningly boring, repetitious, dull, and uninteresting. Then there were the little rays of sunshine that somehow found their way down to Eric's level.
• Hermione Granger Is Stupid:
  Hermione looked like she was about to cry. Or hex her. Or hex her while crying. The girl was scary sometimes.
• Hermione's Harry:
  Harry: Hmm, let's see, what goes through Harry's head all day? Hermione, sex, sex with Hermione, and Hermione!
• In Honestly, Harry Harry and Hermione discuss making portkeys.
  Hermione: Importantly, there is no limitation on the size of the object, nor is there a limitation on the state of the object. As such, there should be nothing preventing you from creating a giant portkey, a liquid portkey, or even a giant liquid portkey.
• In The Ilvermorny Champion Hermione makes a catty remark about Mandy Brocklehurst.
  Harry: Wow. Been keeping that one in very long, Hermione?
  Hermione: Yep. Because you've been distracting me... by being nice, then being my boyfriend, then a nice boyfriend.
• Like Grains of Sand in the Hourglass:
  Tonks: Housework is dangerous. And frustrating. And frustratingly dangerous.
• Lucius Malfoy, Would-Be Murderer:
  McGonagall: You want to keep your bauble safe? Put it in a Gringotts vault. Or put it under Fidelius. Or put it under Fidelius inside a Gringotts vault.
• Make a Plan:
  Ted: I've heard [Ludo Bagman] has a problem with debts, gambling, and gambling debts. If you win, you might have a hard time tracking him down again.
• In Midnight Flights and Midnight Follies Harry is interrupted while making out with Daphne and tries thinking unsexy thoughts to banish his erection.
  Dead puppies. Aragog. Aragog eating dead puppies. Ron's disgusting table manners. Snape. Snape and Ron having babies. Ew!
• In More Than Familiar Harry's owl Hedwig is revealed to be a witch locked into her Animagus form by an enemy. Harry's Animagus form is also an owl.
  Hedwig: Gee, I wonder, if you had to choose between flying or sex with me, which one you would choose.
  Harry: How about sex with you while flying?
• Parseltongue is Really Very Ordinary:
  Uncle Vernon: Get rid of it, boy. Get rid of it now!
  Harry: I will, Uncle Vernon. I won't let them ruin your special evening. Tell the Masons it's a neighbour's kid, if they hear anything. Or a cat. Or a kid with a cat.
• Princeps:
  Voldemort: Pay attention to me.
  Harry: I don't see a reason to. I know that you brought me here to kill me or torture me. Or kill me after torturing me. You're not going to say anything interesting.
• In This Gonna Be Good Fred, George and Lee search for a decent Hogwarts Express compartment.
  Fred: Pick us a winner Lee!
  George: Make sure it's not infiltrated by Slytherins!
  Fred: Or boring book worms!
  Fred/George: Or boring Slytherin book worms!
• A Time For Harmony And Vengeance:
  Sirius: I'm here under the official protection of Sanctuary.
  Hermione: Sanctuary? But this isn't a church!
  Sirius: People have been married here. People have had babies here. In fact, I think people have gotten married right here in the Hospital Wing while in the process of having babies! I think that qualifies Hogwarts as a place of Sanctuary!
• To Touch the Stars:
  Daphne: Not everyone who's a noble is rich like Lucius Malfoy. My grandfather liked to gamble, and party, or gamble while he partied. He practically bankrupted the family.
• What Families Do:
  Harry: Bullying my friends, my family or my friends' families is not going to win you in with me, Malfoy, in case you're so dim-witted that you haven't realized it yet.

Other

• Amber Night and the Curse of the Diabolical Pastry Thief:
  "He jumped over a barrel, then rolled beneath a balance beam, then barrel-rolled through an array of laser defense systems specifically designed to stop him."
• And So We Fight: Zant dismisses the Ravagers as an Army of Thieves and Whores, almost verbatim. Ishaka indignantly replies some of them are thieving whores.
• Beyond the Borders: In the first chapter when talking about the cancellation of Kingdom Hearts 3:
  “I dunno," Kira said, shrugging. "Maybe the darkness is somehow involved.”
  “...Really, Kira?" Sarah responded, with a worn-out expression that seemed to be the non-verbal equivalent of a painful groan. "Corporate espionage is way more likely."
  [...]
  "Consider this: Both. Corporate espionage by the legions of darkness."
• Boldores And Boomsticks: Ruby told Nora that Penny has "lasers, and swords, and laser swords".
• Boy With a Scar: From Chapter 17:
  Nami: Luffy, what are you doing?
  Luffy: Waiting. Eating. Eating while waiting.
• Calvin & Hobbes: The Series has Calvin complaining about Dr. Brainstorm's name:
  "That's a dumb name. Why not something interesting? Like Doctor Doom, or Doctor Chaos, or Doctor Chaotic Doom?"
• Code Ment:
  • Lelouch comes up with one of these in when expressing his disappointment with the new Knightmares:
    One: I dunno. They coulda made them look cooler. Like with more guns and shit. Or put, like, a chainsaw on them—HOLY MARMALADE OF SWEET SUGARY GOODNESS! They should have guns that shoot chainsaws! Someone get on that already!
  • He later asks the Dark Knights to come up with better ideas to decide who gets the newest model:
    Ohgi: How about like, a gun that shoots another gun?
    One: Okay, okay, I'm liking it, but it's missing something.
    Kallen: How about a gun that shoots another gun that shoots chainsaw bullets?
    One: Kallen gets the robot.
• Dragon Ball Z Abridged:
  • In the special "Episode of Bardock": "Am I in a bed? Does hell have beds? You'd think they'd have beds of spikes. Or spiders! Or spiky spiders...spikers."
  • In episode 27, Freeza considers what to send the (dead) Ginyu Force's families while effortlessly dodging Vegeta's attacks. Gift baskets? Wine? Gift baskets with wine?
  • In episode 31 Maron is introduced to Korin and Yajirobe and wonders if they would have fat men or kitties for kids. Korin concludes they'd have fat kitties.
  • Episode 33:
    Trunks: You're probably wondering why I brought you here.
    Krillin: Snacks!
    Yamcha: To kill us!
    Vegeta: To kill snacks!
  • In episode 43:
  Cell: Faster than me. That could be a slight pain in the ass. But...
  [Cell gets kicked by Piccolo]
  Cell: Ow, my ass-butt!
• In Doofenshmirtz's Daily Dirt, a Phineas and Ferb Character Blog, Doofenshmirtz complains about kids' bake sales.
  "I guess they're raising funds to, like, put on a musical, or take a field trip to Greenland, or put a musical on about Greenland, to which I strenuously object to on the grounds that so-called 'Greenland' is actually covered in ice, making it white. Ironically it's Iceland which is very green, and musicals must be written from a place of truth, not lies and deception."
• Dungeon Keeper Ami:
  • Here: "The imp-made engravings had nudity and intertwined bodies too, but they were more stylized and alternated with gory battle scenes. Ami winced a little when she spotted an engraving that mixed both themes."
  • Here:
  "I find out that all portals leading out of my domain have been mysteriously blocked from the outside. At the same time."
  In sharp contrast to the Keeper's expression, his voice remained cheerful. It only got a bit louder when the rattling of the knight shaking in his armour threatened to drown it out.
  "Mysterious. And synchronous. Mysteriously synchronous."
• Elementals of Harmony: From the first story's epilogue:
  "Please don't imprison me or banish me or imprison me in the place where you banished me."
  
  Firstly, let me assure you that I have no intention of punishing the actions you took while not in your right mind, especially not through imprisonment, exile, or a combination thereof.
• Emerald Flight Book One: Union:
  The Flash: Why can't harmless, fluffy alien bunnies ever invade? I mean it's always world domination this or that, or eating humanity or dominating the world while eating humanity.
• Ernesto de la Cruz vs. the Court of Public Opinion:
  De la Cruz’s record-keeping improves after the end of July 1921, when he abruptly leaves the north and returns to Mexico City. Some scholars have argued that he was fleeing a love affair gone wrong. Some, based on an entry in May for $7 ‘brwd frm H’, argue that he was escaping debts. Hernandez (2012) suggests he was running away from a romantic partner to whom he owed money.
• Friendship Is Magic: The Adventures of Spike: Spike hopes the Elements of Harmony send Chrysalis to the moon, or turn her to stone, or preferably both.
• In the Friendship is Witchcraft episode "Dragone Baby Gone", Fluttershy's stats are:
  Skills: Clubs, Spikes, Clubbing Spike
  Item: Spiked Club
  Dislikes: Clubbing, Spike
• Glitter Force: Into the Glitterverse: In Chapter 4, Nora and Raina (the Glitterized Nozomi and Rin are noted to be talking about chocolate, butterflies, and chocolate butterflies.
• I'm a Marvel... And I'm a DC:
  • The patriotic items Green Lantern brings to the video featuring him and Captain America include an apple pie, an American flag, and an "apple flag pie" (which has a crust resembling the flag).
  • In one of the movie trailer parodies, this one parodying Inglourious Basterds, Deadpool plays the sergeant. He gives us "And the skrull will grow to fear the pain they will feel at our hands, and at the edge of our knives, [camera switch to Wolverine] and the edge of the knives that come from our hands."
• Invader Zim: A Bad Thing Never Ends: When contemplating what to do with the intruder in his base (who turns out to be Bob), Zim considers feeding him to mutant dolphins, testing laser weapons on him, or having Zim's experimental Mutant Laser-Dolphins test their lasers on him and then eat him.
• Loki and Dr. Selvig:
  Dr. Selvig: How are you getting all these suits, anyway?
  Loki: Magic! Shoplifting. Magic shoplifting?
• In this The Most Popular Girls in School fanfiction:
  Deandra: Thank you, Shay. Mackenzie. ...Shaykenzie.
• This My Hero Academia fan comic questions what would happen if Prehensile Tail Ojiro Mashirao and skin-only invisibility Toru Hagakure had a child...
  Midoriya: INVISIBLE TAIL.
• The Nightmare House, a The Loud House fanfiction, has Leni have a nightmare about giant talking spiders who suggest enslaving her eating her, or enslaving her and then eating her.
• Chapter 4 of No Gods, Only Guns starts with Lilith and Kaidan arguing over whether to sell the Eridian Artifact or give it to the Alliance. Roland defuses the situation by suggesting that they sell it to the Alliance.
• On Ponytopia.net (My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic roleplaying website) the front page has a disclaimer below the introduction that the "portal that looks just like a website" to Equestria is in fact "Not an actual portal, Batteries not included, May contain Ponies, Nuts and nutty Ponies."
• Oh, You Don’t Have to Do That. (Communication): Adrien, Marinette, and Plagg's reaction when they notice the suspicious coincidence that Adrien happens to find both a Grimoire and a missing Miraculous inside a safe that his father was keeping secret, mainly the possibility that his father could be Hawkmoth.
  Adrien: Yes…That’s bad, isn’t it?
  Marinette: More along the lines of suspicious than bad.
  Plagg: Nope, it’s suspiciously bad.
• Past Sins: Glimpses 2: "Day": Summarizing some fiery, angry events:
  it was flames and roars and roaring flames
• Quizzical: From A Little Fixer-Upper, during a summary of Quizzical's training:
  She balanced stacks of books on her head. She balanced on stacks of books. She did both at the same time.
• Paper Mario: Legend of the Clouds Chapter 36: SchoolTime: Part IV - Mario (thinking): "Now I can't even tell if they're stupid, insane, or just cleverly stupid and insane."
• In the story Rainbow in the Dark, during the Running of the Leaves, Brownie thinks the only way he won't come in dead last is if "one of the participants was a turtle. Or a snail. Or a creature fusing a turtle and a snail."
• In the penultimate episode of Sailor Moon Abridged has Serena suggests that Anne is "doing drugs, performing a voodoo ritual or doing drugs while performing a voodoo ritual". When pointed out that Anne is praying, she suggests that Anne is "praying to the voodoo gods for more drugs".
• In Seriously, Bucky brings a hungover Darcy and Jane coffee and a proper breakfast (they were making do with dipping shortbread cookies in a packet of syrup]])
  Jane: Keep him. Find a way. Handcuffs, sexual favors, sexual favors with handcuffs, I don't care. He understands the importance of caffeine and grease after Tequila Tuesdays and that's just not something you let go.
• Superhero RPF gives us this exchange (they talk about Loki):
  Do you ever get the feeling when you're near him that everything's going to just explode for no reason?
  NotTheHawkGuy replied: That or catch fire. Or turn into bees. Or turn into bees on fire.
• In Voyages of the Wild Sea Horse, upon hearing that Ranma Saotome has never heard of the One Piece before, the pawn shopkeeper that Ranma is talking to incredulously asks if Ranma has been under a rock, on a deserted island, or under a rock on a deserted island.
• A Witch's Family:
  Every single one of the Weasleys and their guests glared at Percy, muttering beneath their breaths about him being a ‘git’ ‘prat’ ‘wanker’ or, in Ron’s words, a ‘gitty prat of a wanker’.
• The Palaververse: Wedding March: From Chapter 2, when Burro's asking Asinara to leave him be, and explore Canterlot, via anaphora:
  Appreciate some culture. Appreciate some drinks. Appreciate some cultured drinks.

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